The Barrow Downs Newspaper

[Formendacil]

Originally Posted by Hookbill the Goomba

Dear Morthoron,

Do you think you are the first person we have done this to? Indeed, there is a helpline and everything! Please Contact The Saucepan Man for more details.

Yours,
The Bed Eater

Of course, I hope you realise that the editors occasionally mess up and do this to the outgoing mail as well as the incoming...

Dear Morthoron,

Do you think you are the king of Gondor? Really sir, we must protest, as I have it on good authority that Legate of Amon Lanc has a claim to this title, and as the first person we have heard this from, his must be the superior claim in our eyes.

Since you are not the king of Gondor it is clear that you must be a hatter, and clearly on your way to insanity. What have we done to earn your ire? I assure you, we should really like to know this, in order to publish it. News is hard to come by, right? Indeed, there is talk of setting up a helpline for us and everything! Please Contact The Saucepan Man for more details about your irrational hatred, so that we can get a story of him chasing you off his lawn.

Yours,
The Best Mud Eater



Oh dear! It is too much fun messing with people's mail like this!