The Barrow Downs Newspaper - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

Laurinquë · 10-27-2008, 01:28 AM

Is a joint effort allowed? TheGreatElvenWarrior and I are planning to put one together you see. She came up with the idea (being much more amusing than I) and I would draw it.

Hookbill the Goomba · 10-27-2008, 02:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Laurinquë

Is a joint effort allowed? TheGreatElvenWarrior and I are planning to put one together you see. She came up with the idea (being much more amusing than I) and I would draw it.

I've no problem with that. Volume Three will probably be drawn by my brother, due mostly to the fact that the stor is too ambitious for my artistic skills.

Thinlómien · 10-27-2008, 04:29 AM

Greenie has agreed to be my partner in crime, so we will do our contest work together... Beware.

Estelyn Telcontar · 10-27-2008, 06:35 AM

I could've predicted that that horrible photo would turn up in the Downer. The photographer (we're not mentioning names, are we, Hookbill? ) told me that he wanted a picture of the paper and that I wouldn't show on it.

Morthoron · 10-27-2008, 07:45 AM

LETTER TO THE EDITOR

Dear Sirs,

We at the North Downs Renaissance Festival express our blistering outrage concerning the staggering loss suffered by many of our performers in the wake of the stunning revelation that Ms. Telcontar has been stealing warts for years. You might not be aware, but the re-enactors, performers and staff of North Downs Renaissance Festival rely on such disfigurements as warts to complete the look and feel of an actual 15th century village. We pride ourselves in looking like characters from a Bruegel painting. This requires much sacrifice on the part of our performers -- some of the more zealous re-enactors have sawed off their own legs, pulled out teeth, and have contracted small pox in order to better mimic actual medieval beggars, mendicants and yeomen. Most have not bathed in years, and eat only acorns and onions to assure authenticity.

By our estimates, Ms. Telcontar has made off with at least twenty pounds worth of warts from our organization. It may not seem like much, but considering the rather insubstantial weight of the average mole (even the big, pulsing hairy ones), the loss is prodigious. In addition, many of our performers have expressed a concern that perhaps warts were not the only bodily deformities Ms. Telcontar has removed. There are reports of missing wens, goiters and moles as well. This represents a tremendous deficit in the authentic hideousness we wish to portray, and an irretrievable loss in time invested in growing such deformities (it takes years to grow a great goiter!).

In conclusion, we hope Ms. Telcontar shows true remorse regarding her crime and returns the purloined pimples. Her crime is a pock-mark on an otherwise unblemished record, but such an act of mercy would soothe bruised egos, calm public inflammation, reduce scarring and be a method of face-saving. We can well understand the growth of her wart-infatuation (who doesn't envy a well-formed wart or a mighty mole?), and do not wish to lump her with other more freckled criminals. She needn't carry the stigma of her mottled crime like a birthmark for the rest of her life.

Yours truly,
Verruca Vulgaris
Coordinator of Stumps, Bumps and Boils
North Downs Renaissance Festival

Bêthberry · 10-27-2008, 09:36 AM

What I want to know is, is it con tro' versy Esty has engaged in, or con' troversy?

Hookbill the Goomba · 10-27-2008, 09:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bêthberry

What I want to know is, is it con tro' versy Esty has engaged in, or con' troversy?

Both.

I was just looking at the next P&A I'm to upload... I REALLY hope Morm isn't offended or disgusted by it...

THE Ka · 10-28-2008, 10:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ms. Vulgaris

We pride ourselves in looking like characters from a Bruegel painting

The elder or younger?

I think Esty would have greater fun going after Hell Brueghel, given his taste for the warty and weird, but she still faces the ineffable problem we all face: Which Bruegel is a Bruegel?

~ I swear I never made another Bruegel Ka

10-27-2008, 04:29 AM	#3
Thinlómien Shady She-Penguin Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: In a far land beyond the Sea Posts: 8,093	A tidbit of information Greenie has agreed to be my partner in crime, so we will do our contest work together... Beware. __________________ Like the stars chase the sun, over the glowing hill I will conquer Blood is running deep, some things never sleep Double Fenris

10-27-2008, 06:35 AM	#4
Estelyn Telcontar Princess of Skwerlz Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: where the Sea is eastwards (WtR: 6060 miles) Posts: 7,500	I could've predicted that that horrible photo would turn up in the Downer. The photographer (we're not mentioning names, are we, Hookbill? ) told me that he wanted a picture of the paper and that I wouldn't show on it. __________________ 'Mercy!' cried Gandalf. 'If the giving of information is to be the cure of your inquisitiveness, I shall spend all the rest of my days in answering you. What more do you want to know?' 'The whole history of Middle-earth...'

10-27-2008, 07:45 AM	#5
Morthoron Curmudgeonly Wordwraith Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Ensconced in curmudgeonly pursuits Posts: 2,515	LETTER TO THE EDITOR Dear Sirs, We at the North Downs Renaissance Festival express our blistering outrage concerning the staggering loss suffered by many of our performers in the wake of the stunning revelation that Ms. Telcontar has been stealing warts for years. You might not be aware, but the re-enactors, performers and staff of North Downs Renaissance Festival rely on such disfigurements as warts to complete the look and feel of an actual 15th century village. We pride ourselves in looking like characters from a Bruegel painting. This requires much sacrifice on the part of our performers -- some of the more zealous re-enactors have sawed off their own legs, pulled out teeth, and have contracted small pox in order to better mimic actual medieval beggars, mendicants and yeomen. Most have not bathed in years, and eat only acorns and onions to assure authenticity. By our estimates, Ms. Telcontar has made off with at least twenty pounds worth of warts from our organization. It may not seem like much, but considering the rather insubstantial weight of the average mole (even the big, pulsing hairy ones), the loss is prodigious. In addition, many of our performers have expressed a concern that perhaps warts were not the only bodily deformities Ms. Telcontar has removed. There are reports of missing wens, goiters and moles as well. This represents a tremendous deficit in the authentic hideousness we wish to portray, and an irretrievable loss in time invested in growing such deformities (it takes years to grow a great goiter!). In conclusion, we hope Ms. Telcontar shows true remorse regarding her crime and returns the purloined pimples. Her crime is a pock-mark on an otherwise unblemished record, but such an act of mercy would soothe bruised egos, calm public inflammation, reduce scarring and be a method of face-saving. We can well understand the growth of her wart-infatuation (who doesn't envy a well-formed wart or a mighty mole?), and do not wish to lump her with other more freckled criminals. She needn't carry the stigma of her mottled crime like a birthmark for the rest of her life. Yours truly, Verruca Vulgaris Coordinator of Stumps, Bumps and Boils North Downs Renaissance Festival __________________ And your little sister's immaculate virginity wings away on the bony shoulders of a young horse named George who stole surreptitiously into her geography revision.

10-27-2008, 09:36 AM	#6
Bêthberry Cryptic Aura Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 6,003	what sort of con vict is she? What I want to know is, is it con tro' versy Esty has engaged in, or con' troversy? __________________ I’ll sing his roots off. I’ll sing a wind up and blow leaf and branch away.

10-27-2008, 01:28 AM	#1
Laurinquë Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 347	Is a joint effort allowed? TheGreatElvenWarrior and I are planning to put one together you see. She came up with the idea (being much more amusing than I) and I would draw it.