Do Balrogs have swings? - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

Elmo · 04-08-2007, 01:54 PM

I mean wouldn't a swing just burn to a crisp if they sat on one?

Hookbill the Goomba · 04-08-2007, 01:58 PM

Surely a king would have to deal with many different things to deal with. Emigration, water supplies, global warming and maintenance of a steady flame.

I think that is the direction this thread is heading in... Do Balrogs have... -ings?

narfforc · 04-08-2007, 02:12 PM

Does the Balrog Ring give them the ability to grow wings at the drop of a wizards hat.

Eomer of the Rohirrim · 04-08-2007, 02:46 PM

Swings if heatproof. Actually, how do they walk on the ground without sinking into it? And they have a King, practically, called Melkor. Perhaps wedding rings, if they enter monogamous relationships, but this raises the question: Do Balrogs have flings?

Bêthberry · 04-08-2007, 03:13 PM

They are said to have whips, so I would think it might be a particularly kinky kind of flings.

Lalwendë · 04-08-2007, 03:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bêthberry

They are said to have whips, so I would think it might be a particularly kinky kind of flings.

Ah, but do Balrogs have things?

Yours, Lalwende, digging deep and murky holes since 1970.

Oddwen · 04-08-2007, 03:28 PM

A spring could be a substitute for a wing - perhaps the reason Wings were never explicitly discribed was that it was assumed everyone knew they had metallic coils on the bottoms of their feet. It would explain any Balrogs seen in the air.

Plus, they could be hunted and harvested for a fine bumper crop of mattresses.

Hookbill the Goomba · 04-08-2007, 03:30 PM

They are so powerful, they surely have servants... why not Beornings?

Lalwendë · 04-08-2007, 03:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Oddwen

Plus, they could be hunted and harvested for a fine bumper crop of mattresses.

It would put a whole new twist on the risks of smoking in bed.

The Squatter of Amon Rûdh · 04-08-2007, 03:56 PM

Just in case those fiery whips prove too easy to drop. Perhaps a sting would come in useful for seeing off pesky Elves and Wizards who insist on trying to drop them from high places.

Burning swings, on the other hand, if sufficiently robust, can give up to fifteen minutes of rock concert / municipal playground fusion before disintegrating.

04-08-2007, 10:14 PM

Do Balrogs have dreams?
Yes. And I have seen them! Frodo I have seen them!

Brinniel · 04-08-2007, 10:24 PM

My question is:

Do Balrogs have bling? Because if they do have flings, that could be one of the explanations why..

After all, everyone knows bling bling can be quite irresistable...

Child of the 7th Age · 04-08-2007, 11:15 PM

Quote:

Do Balrogs have bling?

Brinniel - Possibly, but I do not think so. Still, my latest research indicates that the well dressed Balrog never leaves home until he has adorned himself with several 14-karat nose rings....

Brinniel · 04-09-2007, 01:13 AM

Well, I felt the need to make a visual representation of our Balrog, and so far I have this:

(Oh..and please excuse my poor photoshopping skills...I'm still fairly new to it

)

Hookbill the Goomba · 04-09-2007, 01:18 AM

The ears of Morgoth will melt. Do Balrogs have sings*? I would think not, if they did, Melkor would have destroyed them at a very early stage.

*An example of a Serious Cat sentence?

Elmo · 04-09-2007, 03:02 AM

I mean if they have flings that must mean not all balrogs live up to the aesthetic standard expected of their angelic order.

Elmo · 04-09-2007, 08:05 AM

Or other balrogs find them less hot (baboom ch!)

Oddwen · 04-09-2007, 08:18 AM

Are they merely puppets of the current dark lord, or are they capable of independent actions?

And who currently has the skill to weave such strings of control?

The Might · 04-09-2007, 09:53 AM

Ok, they most definitely have some sore of SPRINGS
If they have no wings, how should they survive a fall all the way to the bottom of Moria's pits?
Plus, it's a great way to have fun in Angband by jumping around

Elmo · 04-09-2007, 09:55 AM

but when they reached the bottom of the pit wouldn't it just spring back to the top?

Legate of Amon Lanc · 04-09-2007, 10:19 AM

Do Balrogs have PINGs?

Elmo · 04-09-2007, 10:22 AM

I know nothing about PINGs Legate, not a thing (I'm not talking about a Lalwendëan thing here

)

The Might · 04-09-2007, 10:22 AM

Dpeends how good the springs are hewhoarisesinmight...

And a very important question if you ever are playing poker against a balrog:

Do Balrogs have Kings?

Legate of Amon Lanc · 04-09-2007, 11:03 AM

I always wondered, however, whether Morgoth appreciated the work of Balrogs enough and if they got some bonuses for killing Fingon or Húrin or Glorfindel or something like that.
Do balrogs have earnings?

...which brings me to, more important...

Do balrogs have earrings?
That would need a little correction of Brinniel's (otherwise wonderful) picture, though we'd first have to prove whether balrogs even have ears first. Interesting, seriously: while debating of wings took entire threads, no one so far has asked the simple question whether balrogs even have ears.

And finally

Do balrogs have yearnings? Not just like, getting a job in a toast factory, but, maybe they all dream of engagement with Arien? After all, she's hot, which would be a priority for a balrog.

The Might · 04-09-2007, 11:17 AM

What about Inklings?
Do you thingk balrogs might have kidnapped some of the Inklings and are holding them prisoners...could be.

Legate of Amon Lanc · 04-09-2007, 11:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Might

What about Inklings?
Do you thingk balrogs might have kidnapped some of the Inklings and are holding them prisoners...could be.

Maybe they even tortured Tolkien not to tell their secrets - whether they have or have not the Wings, rings, and all the other... um... things.

Another idea:

Do balrogs have slings?

Oh, now I see it. Revelation! Do you know what was the name of the balrog in Moria? We know about Gothmog, but this one remained nameless for too long. Now it is clear. His name was David! (and this also answers the question, whether balrogs have Kings... not the card ones)

P.S. This also maybe provides some light to the topic of Giants in Middle-Earth and explains why Gandalf was speaking about looking for a decent Giant to shut the Goblin cave. For this is a line dropped by J.R.R.T. from the original draft of the Two Towers: "Many are my names in many countries: Mithrandir among the Elves, Tharkûn to the Dwarves, Goliath to the Giants."

Mithalwen · 04-09-2007, 11:26 AM

but do Balrogs have bling?

***Thenamir*** · 04-09-2007, 11:50 AM

I think it's the dragons who are famous for their great hoards of bling...

The Might · 04-09-2007, 12:08 PM

The really important question actually is...
Do Balrogs enjoy spring?
I mean, do they like running around through fields of flowers and stuff like that...

Legate of Amon Lanc · 04-09-2007, 12:29 PM

Do balrogs have drinks?

Mithalwen · 04-09-2007, 12:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Legate of Amon Lanc

Do balrogs have drinks?

In which case to be more specific.. Do Balrogs have Pimm's?

davem · 04-09-2007, 01:12 PM

Do balrogs have rhyming dictionaries?

Elmo · 04-09-2007, 01:16 PM

Maybe this? half the words on this don't seem to exist...

Hookbill the Goomba · 04-09-2007, 01:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by davem

Do balrogs have rhyming dictionaries?

Which brings us to ask... Do Balrogs like rhyming things?

davem · 04-09-2007, 01:23 PM

Do Balrogs have Bulldogs? Or Bullfrogs? Do they buy them from catalogues? Did Gothmog have a weblog?

Would the bulldogs be hot dogs?

Lalwendë · 04-09-2007, 01:26 PM

Like A Balrog On A String?

Was Sandie Shaw really singing about the firey onesin these lyrics?

"Love is just like a merry-go-round
With all the fun in the air
One day I'm feeling down on the ground
Then I'm up in the air"

That could be a reference to being wingless one minute and winged the next. Maybe whether a Balrog having wings depends on whether he (or she) is in love or not?

***

Do Balrogs have Schwings? Depends if there are any 'babes' about I guess.

narfforc · 04-09-2007, 01:28 PM

Yes Eomer, I had a fling with a Lady Balrog and she was hot.

Rikae · 04-09-2007, 03:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hewhoarisesinmight

Do balrogs have mings?
I mean if they have flings that must mean not all balrogs live up to the aesthetic standard expected of their angelic order.

You should word it more gently; we aren't sure, but balrogs may have feelings.

The Might · 04-09-2007, 04:19 PM

Do they have important meetings?
Love Tolkien's teachings?
Do they ever receive greetings?

I doubt it...poor balrogs

Rikae · 04-09-2007, 04:25 PM

The poor Balrogs indeed. Wandering through middle earth without rest; does anyone know if Balrogs have dwellings, or even lodgings?

And a more important question, perhaps, to the dwarves who had to clean Moria after the war; do Balrogs have droppings?

04-08-2007, 01:54 PM	#1
Elmo Pittodrie Poltergeist Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: trying to find that warm and winding lane again Posts: 633	Do Balrogs have swings? I mean wouldn't a swing just burn to a crisp if they sat on one? __________________ As Beren looked into her eyes within the shadows of her hair, The trembling starlight of the skies he saw there mirrored shimmering.

04-08-2007, 01:58 PM	#2
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	Do Balrogs have Kings? Surely a king would have to deal with many different things to deal with. Emigration, water supplies, global warming and maintenance of a steady flame. I think that is the direction this thread is heading in... Do Balrogs have... -ings? __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

04-08-2007, 02:12 PM	#3
narfforc Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Muddy-earth Posts: 1,297	Do Balrogs have Rings? Does the Balrog Ring give them the ability to grow wings at the drop of a wizards hat. __________________ [B]THE LORD OF THE GRINS:THE ONE PARODY....A PARODY BETTER THAN THE RINGS OF POWER.

04-08-2007, 02:46 PM	#4
Eomer of the Rohirrim Auspicious Wraith Join Date: May 2002 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 4,859	Swings if heatproof. Actually, how do they walk on the ground without sinking into it? And they have a King, practically, called Melkor. Perhaps wedding rings, if they enter monogamous relationships, but this raises the question: Do Balrogs have flings? __________________ Los Ingobernables de Harlond

04-08-2007, 03:13 PM	#5
Bêthberry Cryptic Aura Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 6,003	do balrogs have stings? They are said to have whips, so I would think it might be a particularly kinky kind of flings.

04-08-2007, 03:28 PM	#7
Oddwen Drummer in the Deep Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Next Sunday A.D. Posts: 2,145	Do Balrogs have springs? A spring could be a substitute for a wing - perhaps the reason Wings were never explicitly discribed was that it was assumed everyone knew they had metallic coils on the bottoms of their feet. It would explain any Balrogs seen in the air. Plus, they could be hunted and harvested for a fine bumper crop of mattresses. __________________ But all the while I sit and think of times there were before I listen for returning feet and voices at the door

04-08-2007, 03:30 PM	#8
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	Do Balrogs have... Beornings? They are so powerful, they surely have servants... why not Beornings? __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

04-08-2007, 03:56 PM	#10
The Squatter of Amon Rûdh Spectre of Decay Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Bar-en-Danwedh Posts: 2,178	Do Balrogs have stings? Just in case those fiery whips prove too easy to drop. Perhaps a sting would come in useful for seeing off pesky Elves and Wizards who insist on trying to drop them from high places. Burning swings, on the other hand, if sufficiently robust, can give up to fifteen minutes of rock concert / municipal playground fusion before disintegrating. __________________ Man kenuva métim' andúne?

04-08-2007, 10:14 PM	#11
Neithan Tol Turambar Guest Posts: n/a	hellbound Do Balrogs have dreams? Yes. And I have seen them! Frodo I have seen them!

04-08-2007, 10:24 PM	#12
Brinniel Reflection of Darkness Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Polishing the stars. Well, somebody has to do it; they're looking a little bit dull. Posts: 2,983	If you want to further analyze it... My question is: Do Balrogs have bling? Because if they do have flings, that could be one of the explanations why.. After all, everyone knows bling bling can be quite irresistable... __________________ Nolite te bastardes carborundorum

04-09-2007, 01:18 AM	#15
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	When a Balrog Sings The ears of Morgoth will melt. Do Balrogs have sings? I would think not, if they did, Melkor would have destroyed them at a very early stage. An example of a Serious Cat sentence? __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

04-09-2007, 03:02 AM	#16
Elmo Pittodrie Poltergeist Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: trying to find that warm and winding lane again Posts: 633	Do Balrogs have mings? I mean if they have flings that must mean not all balrogs live up to the aesthetic standard expected of their angelic order. __________________ As Beren looked into her eyes within the shadows of her hair, The trembling starlight of the skies he saw there mirrored shimmering.

04-09-2007, 08:05 AM	#17
Elmo Pittodrie Poltergeist Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: trying to find that warm and winding lane again Posts: 633	Or other balrogs find them less hot (baboom ch!) __________________ As Beren looked into her eyes within the shadows of her hair, The trembling starlight of the skies he saw there mirrored shimmering.

04-09-2007, 08:18 AM	#18
Oddwen Drummer in the Deep Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Next Sunday A.D. Posts: 2,145	Do Balrogs have strings? Are they merely puppets of the current dark lord, or are they capable of independent actions? And who currently has the skill to weave such strings of control? __________________ But all the while I sit and think of times there were before I listen for returning feet and voices at the door

04-09-2007, 09:53 AM	#19
The Might Guard of the Citadel Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Oxon Posts: 2,205	Ok, they most definitely have some sore of SPRINGS If they have no wings, how should they survive a fall all the way to the bottom of Moria's pits? Plus, it's a great way to have fun in Angband by jumping around __________________ “The invisible and the non-existent look very much alike.” Delos B. McKown

04-09-2007, 09:55 AM	#20
Elmo Pittodrie Poltergeist Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: trying to find that warm and winding lane again Posts: 633	but when they reached the bottom of the pit wouldn't it just spring back to the top? __________________ As Beren looked into her eyes within the shadows of her hair, The trembling starlight of the skies he saw there mirrored shimmering.

04-09-2007, 10:19 AM	#21
Legate of Amon Lanc A Voice That Gainsayeth Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: In that far land beyond the Sea Posts: 7,431	I guess for all Internet-users, and most for ME online players, the most important... Do Balrogs have PINGs? __________________ "Should the story say 'he ate bread,' the dramatic producer can only show 'a piece of bread' according to his taste or fancy, but the hearer of the story will think of bread in general and picture it in some form of his own." -On Fairy-Stories

04-09-2007, 10:22 AM	#22
Elmo Pittodrie Poltergeist Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: trying to find that warm and winding lane again Posts: 633	I know nothing about PINGs Legate, not a thing (I'm not talking about a Lalwendëan thing here ) __________________ As Beren looked into her eyes within the shadows of her hair, The trembling starlight of the skies he saw there mirrored shimmering.

04-09-2007, 11:03 AM	#24
Legate of Amon Lanc A Voice That Gainsayeth Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: In that far land beyond the Sea Posts: 7,431	I always wondered, however, whether Morgoth appreciated the work of Balrogs enough and if they got some bonuses for killing Fingon or Húrin or Glorfindel or something like that. Do balrogs have earnings? ...which brings me to, more important... Do balrogs have earrings? That would need a little correction of Brinniel's (otherwise wonderful) picture, though we'd first have to prove whether balrogs even have ears first. Interesting, seriously: while debating of wings took entire threads, no one so far has asked the simple question whether balrogs even have ears. And finally Do balrogs have yearnings? Not just like, getting a job in a toast factory, but, maybe they all dream of engagement with Arien? After all, she's hot, which would be a priority for a balrog. __________________ "Should the story say 'he ate bread,' the dramatic producer can only show 'a piece of bread' according to his taste or fancy, but the hearer of the story will think of bread in general and picture it in some form of his own." -On Fairy-Stories

04-09-2007, 11:17 AM	#25
The Might Guard of the Citadel Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Oxon Posts: 2,205	What about Inklings? Do you thingk balrogs might have kidnapped some of the Inklings and are holding them prisoners...could be. __________________ “The invisible and the non-existent look very much alike.” Delos B. McKown

04-09-2007, 11:26 AM	#27
Mithalwen Pilgrim Soul Join Date: May 2004 Location: watching the wonga-wonga birds circle... Posts: 9,460	We know they are big and mean but do Balrogs have bling? __________________ “But Finrod walks with Finarfin his father beneath the trees in Eldamar.” Christopher Tolkien, Requiescat in pace

04-09-2007, 11:50 AM	#28
*Thenamir* Spectre of Capitalism Join Date: May 2001 Location: Battling evil bureaucrats at Zeta Aquilae Posts: 987	I think it's the dragons who are famous for their great hoards of bling... __________________ The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane. ~~ Marcus Aurelius

04-09-2007, 12:08 PM	#29
The Might Guard of the Citadel Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Oxon Posts: 2,205	The really important question actually is... Do Balrogs enjoy spring? I mean, do they like running around through fields of flowers and stuff like that... __________________ “The invisible and the non-existent look very much alike.” Delos B. McKown

04-09-2007, 12:29 PM	#30
Legate of Amon Lanc A Voice That Gainsayeth Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: In that far land beyond the Sea Posts: 7,431	Hey! Why didn't anyone so far ask THIS? Do balrogs have drinks? __________________ "Should the story say 'he ate bread,' the dramatic producer can only show 'a piece of bread' according to his taste or fancy, but the hearer of the story will think of bread in general and picture it in some form of his own." -On Fairy-Stories

04-09-2007, 01:12 PM	#32
davem Illustrious Ulair Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: In the home of lost causes, and forsaken beliefs, and unpopular names,and impossible loyalties Posts: 4,240	Do balrogs have rhyming dictionaries? __________________ “Everything was an object. If you killed a dwarf you could use it as a weapon – it was no different to other large heavy objects."

04-09-2007, 01:16 PM	#33
Elmo Pittodrie Poltergeist Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: trying to find that warm and winding lane again Posts: 633	Maybe this? half the words on this don't seem to exist... __________________ As Beren looked into her eyes within the shadows of her hair, The trembling starlight of the skies he saw there mirrored shimmering.

04-09-2007, 01:23 PM	#35
davem Illustrious Ulair Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: In the home of lost causes, and forsaken beliefs, and unpopular names,and impossible loyalties Posts: 4,240	Do Balrogs have Bulldogs? Or Bullfrogs? Do they buy them from catalogues? Did Gothmog have a weblog? Would the bulldogs be hot dogs? __________________ “Everything was an object. If you killed a dwarf you could use it as a weapon – it was no different to other large heavy objects."

04-09-2007, 01:26 PM	#36
Lalwendë A Mere Boggart Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: under the bed Posts: 4,737	Like A Balrog On A String? Was Sandie Shaw really singing about the firey onesin these lyrics? "Love is just like a merry-go-round With all the fun in the air One day I'm feeling down on the ground Then I'm up in the air" That could be a reference to being wingless one minute and winged the next. Maybe whether a Balrog having wings depends on whether he (or she) is in love or not? *** Do Balrogs have Schwings? Depends if there are any 'babes' about I guess. __________________ Gordon's alive!

04-09-2007, 01:28 PM	#37
narfforc Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Muddy-earth Posts: 1,297	Do Balrogs enjoy Middle-earth Gaming Yes Eomer, I had a fling with a Lady Balrog and she was hot. __________________ [B]THE LORD OF THE GRINS:THE ONE PARODY....A PARODY BETTER THAN THE RINGS OF POWER.

04-09-2007, 04:19 PM	#39
The Might Guard of the Citadel Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Oxon Posts: 2,205	Do they have important meetings? Love Tolkien's teachings? Do they ever receive greetings? I doubt it...poor balrogs __________________ “The invisible and the non-existent look very much alike.” Delos B. McKown

04-09-2007, 04:25 PM	#40
Rikae Mellifluous Maia Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: A glade open to the stars, deep in Nan Elmoth Posts: 3,489	The poor Balrogs indeed. Wandering through middle earth without rest; does anyone know if Balrogs have dwellings, or even lodgings? And a more important question, perhaps, to the dwarves who had to clean Moria after the war; do Balrogs have droppings?