The Barrow Downs Newspaper - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

Hookbill the Goomba · 12-31-2007, 03:34 AM

For this week, thar be trouble a brewin'.

Alien has some strange ideas as usual.

Quote:

I must register a protest. This does not look like a Christmas special at all to me. There are no flying reindeer, no elves of any particular breed, nor any noggin's of egg. Surely we could have had the true and full story behind Alfie the Santa Elf but I suppose that was nixed by davem of the Yard.

Your complaint has been noted, filed and burned.

TheGreatElvenWarrior · 12-31-2007, 01:37 PM

Ummm... If I have been hacked to death, what will you do with my remains?

Hookbill the Goomba · 12-31-2007, 01:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheGreatElvenWarrior

Ummm... If I have been hacked to death, what will you do with my remains?

They'll be televised for the 'gross out factor'.

TheGreatElvenWarrior · 12-31-2007, 05:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hookbill the Goomba

They'll be televised for the 'gross out factor'.

I see, would it be like that show Fear Factor? Being hacked to death doesn't feel very good... and being Barrow Wights, wouldn't you already be dead?

Hookbill the Goomba · 12-31-2007, 05:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheGreatElvenWarrior

and being Barrow Wights, wouldn't you already be dead?

Stop pointing out inaccuracies in my logic!

Besides all this, since when has The Downer allowed facts or reality to affect its content?

TheGreatElvenWarrior · 12-31-2007, 05:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hookbill the Goomba

Stop pointing out inaccuracies in my logic!

Besides all this, since when has The Downer allowed facts or reality to affect its content?

Why should I stop pointing them out? It's so much fun!

Hmmmm... I have no idea. But, it's still fun to point out the obvious!

That's just my job!

Groin Redbeard · 12-31-2007, 07:58 PM

All week I can't wait for the Hookbill to come out with another Downer Newspaper. Awsome work Hookbill, keep it up!

And don't worry I've dyed my beard back from yellow to red.

Lalwendë · 12-31-2007, 01:55 PM

Hookbill has brought back traumatic memories of Scariest Pop Video Ever with the chicken mincer thing, namely Another Brick In The Wall where the kids get minced by the scary teacher with a head like a hammer. It gave me nightmares as a kid, it still gives me nightmares now.

McCaber · 12-31-2007, 02:12 PM

I love how The Phantom is cool with the liquidizer. I guess living with Alien gets you accustomed to these sort of things.

Bêthberry · 12-31-2007, 05:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hookbill the Goomba

Your complaint has been noted, filed and burned.

Glad to see I helped contribute to your celebrations of Hogmanay. Now what was it--fireball swinging you were doing, or practice for the burning of the clavie?

Lalwendë · 01-01-2008, 09:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bêthberry

Glad to see I helped contribute to your celebrations of Hogmanay. Now what was it--fireball swinging you were doing, or practice for the burning of the clavie?

You make Parbold sound like something out of the League of Gentlemen...oh, wait a minute...

TheGreatElvenWarrior · 01-03-2008, 01:43 PM

You know what would be great? Having the Downer come out twice a week! That would just be awesome!

McCaber · 01-03-2008, 04:12 PM

I don't want to put Hookbill through that much work. Once a week is fine by me.

Gwathagor · 01-04-2008, 02:10 AM

As far as I'm concerned, Hookbill, your newspaper is nothing short of brilliant. Well done. Funny AND deep.

Hookbill the Goomba · 01-04-2008, 04:57 AM

Back in the early days I had concidered making it a Daily Newspaper.

I very quickly realised what a tremendously stupid idea that was. It would have become so much less funny very quickly and I'm sure I would have been driven out of town. I have made front pages and come back to them a few days later and thought 'Actually, that's probably quite offensive!' and done something different.

EDIT:

I think I had better admit now that there were some that I thought too risky in the early days which I eventually did do later on. I'm not going to say which. But there are worse ones. It will be interesting to see where the line is drawn.

12-31-2007, 01:37 PM	#2
TheGreatElvenWarrior Mighty Quill Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Walking off to look for America Posts: 2,230	Ummm... If I have been hacked to death, what will you do with my remains? __________________ The Party Doesn't Start Until You're Dead.

12-31-2007, 07:58 PM	#7
Groin Redbeard Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Facing the world's troubles with Christ's hope! Posts: 1,635	All week I can't wait for the Hookbill to come out with another Downer Newspaper. Awsome work Hookbill, keep it up! And don't worry I've dyed my beard back from yellow to red. __________________ I heard the bells on Christmas Day. Their old, familiar carols play. And wild and sweet the words repeatof peace on earth, good-will to men! ~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow Last edited by Groin Redbeard; 12-31-2007 at 09:21 PM.

12-31-2007, 01:55 PM	#8
Lalwendë A Mere Boggart Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: under the bed Posts: 4,737	Hookbill has brought back traumatic memories of Scariest Pop Video Ever with the chicken mincer thing, namely Another Brick In The Wall where the kids get minced by the scary teacher with a head like a hammer. It gave me nightmares as a kid, it still gives me nightmares now. __________________ Gordon's alive!

12-31-2007, 02:12 PM	#9
McCaber Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Skyrim, again. Posts: 820	I love how The Phantom is cool with the liquidizer. I guess living with Alien gets you accustomed to these sort of things. __________________ Werewolves vs. Fishmen. The battle of the century.

01-03-2008, 01:43 PM	#12
TheGreatElvenWarrior Mighty Quill Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Walking off to look for America Posts: 2,230	You know what would be great? Having the Downer come out twice a week! That would just be awesome! __________________ The Party Doesn't Start Until You're Dead.

01-03-2008, 04:12 PM	#13
McCaber Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Skyrim, again. Posts: 820	I don't want to put Hookbill through that much work. Once a week is fine by me. __________________ Werewolves vs. Fishmen. The battle of the century.

01-04-2008, 02:10 AM	#14
Gwathagor Shade with a Blade Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: A Rainy Night In Soho Posts: 2,512	As far as I'm concerned, Hookbill, your newspaper is nothing short of brilliant. Well done. Funny AND deep. __________________ Stories and songs.

01-04-2008, 04:57 AM	#15
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	Back in the early days I had concidered making it a Daily Newspaper. I very quickly realised what a tremendously stupid idea that was. It would have become so much less funny very quickly and I'm sure I would have been driven out of town. I have made front pages and come back to them a few days later and thought 'Actually, that's probably quite offensive!' and done something different. EDIT: I think I had better admit now that there were some that I thought too risky in the early days which I eventually did do later on. I'm not going to say which. But there are worse ones. It will be interesting to see where the line is drawn. __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... Last edited by Hookbill the Goomba; 01-04-2008 at 11:39 AM.