The Barrow Downs Newspaper

[Pitchwife]

Originally Posted by The Downer, Issue #167

World's Tallest Mountain Retires

The Ministery of Geology denies this. According to high-placed sources, Mr William Everest (affectionately called 'Billy' by his friends) and his charming wife Ethel, née Tree, are merely going on a long-deserved holiday and are expected back in a few million years. Their representatives, Messrs Zappa, Volman & Kaylan, are quoted as confirming that the couple's global sightseeing tour will include a visit to New York. Metropolitan authorities have commenced work on planning how to provide accomodation for Mr and Mrs Everest without endangering public safety. Given that the lofty guests' arrival in NYC isn't expected within the next 500 millennia, they should have ample time for taking appropriate steps, so there's no need for the population to panic quite yet.