Phantom: The Thread (The Most Important Thread EVER)

[Oddwen]

Phact: the phandom of the phantom is mainly populated by insane phangirls writing the phantom/The Phantom phanphics, genderbended Phantom and Alien comics, and phar, phar too much rule 34. It's disgusting, but the phantom loves it.

Phact: "Chuck Norris? Isn't he dead? Yeah, the phantom killed him." ~Oliphaunts_Rule

Phact: Chuck Norris's real name is Carlos. the phantom's garbage disposal is also named Carlos. Coincidence?

Phact: When the phantom plays chess, all of his pieces are queens.

Phact: When the phantom plays checkers, all of his pieces are queens.

Phact: the phantom will refill the cup of Galadriel when she finishes her drink. Everyone else has to fill their own.

Phact: Galadriel has only asked for the phantom to refill her glass once. She ended up giving the result to Frodo Baggins of the Shire.

Phact: the phantom owns a little boat that can bear someone ever back across so wide a sea. I hear he's willing to sell it for a song.

Phact: the phantom is the true Lord of the Ring. He's also Lord of everything else, so he doesn't mind if Sauron borrows the title for a little while.

Phact: Every time the phantom walks into a building, the sprinklers go off.

Phact: The Hobbit's love for mushrooms is in honor of the phantom. Because he's known everywhere as being a fungi.

Phact: The Entwives have long since fled Middle-earth. Why? Because the phantom ran through their crops screaming "Run, forest, run!!"

Phact: Dwarves are constantly working hard to try to please the phantom, but they always come up short.

Phact: Due to genetics, the phantom is at a high risk for spontaneous combustion. He does not fear, nor should you, that this will elven happen.