What do you assign to Mordor?

[littlemanpoet]

I just noticed in the Letters (#219) that Tolkien assigned Siamese cats to Mordor! ... maybe because of their disposition? I know that he assigned faceless bureaucracies to Mordor too.

I personally assign to Mordor people on the road who race 15 or more over the speed limit only to end up at the red light, waiting, because they haven't enough sense or patience or both to go the speed limit and catch the lights green, which are all timed to work out right. Oh, and tailgaters too.

What do you assign to Mordor? And why?

[mormegil]

I would like to assign the law school application process. It is the most evil and wicked system in the world. I have just finished hearing back from all the schools and it has been the worst process to go through.

[Elentari_Elbereth]

I would assign Communists and really bad Lawers. Also people who are snotty and think they're more important that everyone.

[Anguirel]

Most Alsatians. Horrible, wolfy things...

All Jack Russells, without exception.

Vodka. That really is orc-liquor...

Dill. Foul, vile, evil, insidious herb...

[Lindolirian]

Teachers who don't care. If you don't want to help kids learn, get a different job and stop wasting my time with busy work. And impatient people who screw things up because they can't get instant gratification in everything.

Also old ice cream, over-salted popcorn, Nazis, blankets that are too short, and most vegetables.

[wilwarin538]

All those crazy people who think Tolkien's work is.........boring. :eek: :( :eek:

[Gil-Galad]

I'll assign all the people that were mean to me in junior high...next week high school!

[Lalwendë]

What do you assign to Mordor? And why?

Work. Because it's inhumane.
Cat litter. If Tolkien was going to put Siamese cats in there (and I hope he only meant Siamese cats and not all cats), then the litter can go with them. It can't smell any worse than orcs.
Celery. What's the point of it? As someone said to me today, it's just a means of conveying dip to your mouth.

Faceless bureaucracies belong in Valinor though. ;) :p

[littlemanpoet]

I hope he only meant Siamese cats and not all cats

Only Siamese (if you please)
:p

Sorry, couldn't resist.

[Celebuial]

Teachers who loose your course work so you have to rush to re-do it at the last min.

The security guards at my college. They don't do anything and just annoy everyone.

People who dismiss the works of Tolkien without having given them a chance by reading them.

The person/people who decided A-Levels were a good idea.

My dance teacher. She stood on my toe whilst I was attempting to Tango.

People who designed stilletos....They look so pretty but hurt like hell.

The people who decided to cancell the masters in Astrophysics at Keele university.... I now don't have an insurance choice.

People who think that because they like classical music and go fox hunting(I'm totally against this) and have a lot of inherited money, they're better than everyone else.

Hmmmmmm.... Lots more...... The person who buys the last tub of Ben and Jerry's before I do........ The tall people who stand/sit infront of us short Hobbits at concerts and cinemas.......Basically any annoying people.

[Elianna]

CALCULUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Most abhorrid of subjects! It's more letters than numbers. And the only numbers involved are 0, 1, and 2, and on rare occusasions 3. That's the worst of it; you work for 10 mintues on a single problem, retrace your steps every other step because you forgot the chain rule or some other little oddment, and finally arrive at the answer: 1. (the loneliness number...)

I took the AP test for it yesterday, so my torment is finally over. Well, I guess it's a little like I've destroyed the Ring, but I still have Saruman waiting for me at home. I have finished the test for credit, however I still need to make up a pratice test. After I take that, I'm burning the innards of my Calculus notebook.

I shall burn them, I say! BURN!

[littlemanpoet]

The person/people who decided A-Levels were a good idea.


Sorry, what are A-Levels? Never heard of 'em, but then maybe that's because I'm over here in the U.S. .... or just plain ignorant. :p

[mormegil]

Sorry, what are A-Levels? Never heard of 'em, but then maybe that's because I'm over here in the U.S. .... or just plain ignorant. :p

It's a level in a building below 1. I work on B level

[Lalwendë]

Sorry, what are A-Levels? Never heard of 'em, but then maybe that's because I'm over here in the U.S. .... or just plain ignorant.

A Levels are Advanced Level qualifications. You take 'em at 18, two years after your GCSEs (which used to be called O Levels or Ordinary levels but then a civil servant tinkered with 'em and they are called GCSEs), and you choose the subjects you're best at or which you enjoy the most, or if you want to do medicine you just have to do lots of science ones. A`Levels are hard, especially History. And you need some good ones to get into University. Most folk do 3 or 4 A levels, and you need something like 3 Grade A ones to get into a top university or onto a popular course.

I have to hasten to add, I also like Siamese cats, as all cats are lovely creatures. Just so long as Tolkien had nothing against furry round tabbies... ;)

Another thing that's going to Mordor. Snails. Because my garden is infested with them. :(

[Eruanna]

I second the proposal to put snails into Mordor. They play havoc in my garden, despite my best efforts. :(

I would also like to send the people who make so called 'reality television' programmes. They are truly deserving of a place in Mordor!

[the phantom]

People who "don't get" Strong Bad.

People who "don't get" fantasy or sci-fi.

People who drive really slow and stop at corners that don't have stop signs and generally act lost.

People who stop their cars in the middle of the street, roll down their window, and talk with someone while there's a car waiting behind them.

Pedestrians who walk in the street when there is a perfectly good sidewalk ten feet away. I always hug the curb and pretend to be looking at something else when I see one of those despicable orcs. I love to make them jump scared off the road.

All cats, except ones with no claws that can play without biting and come when you call them. But if that's what you want, you might as well just get a dog.

People who think popularity equals quality.

People who think everyone should get out and vote, even the people (about 40% of voters) who couldn't tell you who's running for what office, who the current vice president is, or what the capital of their state is.

[mormegil]

Is that A-level a UK thing?

I say let the snails have their cauliflower...the vegtable of Mordor

[drigel]

The official vegetable of Mordor should be asparagus - ugh

The official pollen: ragweed

The official parasite: ticks

official cat: siamese

official bird: pigeon

official currency: susan b anthony silver dollars and $2 bills

official mascot: beaurocrats
:)

[Formendacil]

Rabid fans of the LotR who only got into it because of Legolas and the whole "it's in now" things. And only stayed fans as long as there was a new movie waiting to come out.

[Elianna]

Rabid fans of the LotR who only got into it because of Legolas and the whole "it's in now" things. And only stayed fans as long as there was a new movie waiting to come out.

AMEN!

[littlemanpoet]

Suburbia.

Square acres of parking lots surrounding malls.

The new Walgreen's under construction in place of one of the last standing groves of trees (two acres!) on a busy street corner; I will never shop there.

Forests and hills leveled for a golf course.

Anything having to do with Paris Hilton (including this sentence) .... and her ilk.

Business accounting such that "labor" is a "liability" (nimrods); in the Shire, labor is done by hobbits (and humans) for the good of the community.

Now to turn all this into doggerel..... hmm....... :rolleyes:

[Esgallhugwen]

Hm, what to send to Mordor, this will actually be easy.

Firstly my brother, who thinks the world revolves around him. The only thing that'll be revolving around him in Mordor are Orcs trying to decide which of his limbs to devour first. Seriously we don't get along well and he's rather mean to my mother.

Centipedes and milipedes, mosquitos, horseflies, ticks, and anything that burrows itself under the skin.

Tiny fluffly poodles, or any small dogs for that matter, that won't keep their yaps shut. Or any people that won't keep their yaps shut.

People who glare or look at you as though you're the lowest thing on earth. What did I ever do to you?

My brother's bird who wakes me up with her eardrum shattering screeching. It gets very bad sometimes to the point of bringing me to insanity.

That's all I'll say for now, I'd like to give other people a chance. ;)

[The Only Real Estel]

People who run their stop/yield sign and then glare at you like you should've stopped for them.

People who think they are the bomb because they have a Honda Civic...a 1990 Honda Civic.

My parents reluctance to get me my long overdue driver's license.

[The Saucepan Man]

Well thanks folks. I have been assigned to Mordor no less than five times on this thread (three times by the phantom alone)! Oh, and the place where I live has been too (although the comparison with Mordor is probably fair). :D

[Mithalwen]

What I assign to Mordor:

Bullies (who made my life hell as a pupil and teacher).

"Baby on Board" car hangers. What are they for? Are they are to brag about the driver's fertility or are they merely intended to insult the humanity of every other driver on the road?....

People who don't indicate properly at roundabouts ( funny how some really expensive cars don't have indicators that work...)

People who talk very loudly into their cell phones particularly on trains - I don't mean the 5 second long " can you meet me at the station at X o'clock ?" type calls but the ones where you unavoidably find yourself knowing far too much about the intimate lives of complete strangers.

People who never do anything useful but delight in interfering - and in spreading bad news ( that disposes of my sibling, in case the lawyer thing misses out on a technicality....)

Salesmen who prey on vulnerable elderly people in their own homes.... grr

Beyond avaricious property developers - and those who never stop bleating about how much their house is worth.

Hypocrites

Baked beans

Milk

The only problem is that I will probably end up in Mordor myself (do poor pro-hunting (if you care about wildlife ban the car and the cat...), classical music lovers with low self esteem still have to go? )I did leave teaching so that should pacify a few... but there is not a lot I can do about my height. I am working for lawyers at the moment but only on a temporary contract and believe me I have never been so glad that I crashed my a-levels and couldn't do law..... ;)

[the phantom]

I have been assigned to Mordor no less than five times on this thread (three times by the phantom alone)!
Multiple times, eh? Even better than I'd hoped. Only one of my Mordor assigments was actually written specifically with you in mind. Betcha can't guess which one. ;)

And LMP, I will give you one day to edit out "Suburbia" and replace it something less dear to me, like "tofu", or "soccer".

Should this command be ignored, a disaster beyond your imagination will occur.

And yes, all you Brits, I just insinuated that soccer is the official sport of Mordor. Mwu ha ha!

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

But... I really like soccer. And Siamese cats. My cousin who's house I'm going to tonight has a Siamese named Norman. He's awesome... Declawed, mind you, but he's really cute and friendly.

However...

Lima beans need to go to Mordor. As well as Britney Spears, rumor-mongorers, deadlines, chapped lips, and puke.

[The Only Real Estel]

Britney Spears

I second that.

and puke

I thought you already said Britney Spears? :confused: :p

[Tinuviel of Denton]

Final exams. The hand cramps alone are evil.

Two and a half day road trips with ten-year-old boys with ADHD and five-year-old girls and nagging mothers.

Nagging mothers in general.

Stupid people.

My computer. Because Tybalt (Yes, I named my computer) is evil enough to rival Sauron himself. Probably Tybalt would take over Mordor, even.

[Mithalwen]

Two and a half day road trips with ten-year-old boys with ADHD and five-year-old girls and nagging mothers.



Hmm possibly some cause and effect here?

Cannot but suspect that any human who could be stuck in a car ( and presumably having to do the driving ) with that child combo and remain smiling and serene would have to be so zonked on valium that they would be unfit to be behind the wheel... or a walking monument to prozac.... :p

[Tinuviel of Denton]

Not exactly...

The road trip's next week, when I go home from school. I'm going to be doing about half the driving.

And mother nags anyway. But, on topic...

Eight o clock classes.

The weekend schedule for my school's cafeteria. (The window of opportunity for absent-minded me to actually get up their and eat is pathetically small.)

People who don't give pedestrians the right of way, especially when the car has a stop sign.

People who find it amusing to honk at random girls who are walking down the street and proposition them.

Frat parties.

[Lalwendë]

My brother's bird who wakes me up with her eardrum shattering screeching. It gets very bad sometimes to the point of bringing me to insanity.

I had to look twice at this statement. I thought you were talking about your brother's girlfriend for a moment, and then I realised you are most likely not British! :D

People who think everyone should get out and vote, even the people (about 40% of voters) who couldn't tell you who's running for what office, who the current vice president is, or what the capital of their state is.

Oops, that's me! I always tell people to vote, even if only to spoil their paper; though alas I wish some in my constituency had not bothered as the BNP got a good showing. And that's something that I would say ought to go to Mordor too. Or is Mordor too good for it?

Chewing gum spat out. The pavements of Mordor would be covered in it.

Crazy frog ring tones. :mad: Only orcs have these.

[Encaitare]

I have been assigned to Mordor no less than five times on this thread (three times by the phantom alone)!

I have been once, because like Lalwende, I believe that everyone should get off the couch and vote -- even though I can't yet. If I could, I would.

I had to look twice at this statement. I thought you were talking about your brother's girlfriend for a moment, and then I realised you are most likely not British! :D

*dies of laughter* Ah, that is too funny.

Things I assign to Mordor:

- AP exams. They are not as hard as they're made out to be, but they're so long and stressful and exhausting.
- empty tubes of chapstick
- the chapstick company, which thinks it can sell a tube of solidified petrolum jelly for about $1.50
- door-to-door salespeople
- every author who wrote some allegory or other kind of fiction about the dangers of communism/fascism/socialism/totalitarianism/other bad isms. That is some of the most depressing literature I've ever read.
- people who spit on the ground for no apparent reason (does anyone else notice a lot of that, or is it just specific to my twisted town?)
- cigarettes because they equal slow suicide. And they smell bad.
- computers that randomly decide to rebel against you and break when they were working just fine a minute before.

Hope I didn't offend anyone too badly, especially if you work for one of those accursed chapstick companies. :p

(Yes, I named my computer)

Ooh, I should name my computer. Eddie would be a nice name, but my computer isn't painfully cheerful. In fact, I think I'll call it Marvin because the firewall I have is paranoid and goes berserk at the slightest thing. So Marvin it is. :D

[Oddwen]

Customers who come through the drive-thru with a loud truck, or a cellphone, or screaming kids, or not knowing what they want...or all four. People who pay with too much change.

Tomato hornworms. Rabbit bites. MY stupid loud birds who screech all the time. PT Cruisers. Flat tires.

Rising gas prices. The phrase "My Bad". Getting up early. Alarm clocks. Raccoons, possums, squrrels, and most other furri animals.

Oh man...Cherry Festival is coming. The resulting traffic could very well head to Orodruin and cast itself into the Sammath Naur like lemmings, which also would go because they're a small furri animal.

Disney, the image, and also the people responsible for the whole "lemming" myth.

People who pass me in their cars just before I make my turnoff. Fissssh. Dirty dishes. (Not the Saucepan Man, though ;) )

[littlemanpoet]

People who threaten me with dire threats of unknowable doom. ;)

[mormegil]

Patients who come to the Emergency Room for trivial things who don't have insurance or government funded patients who treat the ER as a Dr's clinic.

Probably doesn't happen on the island across the pond.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Nurses who know nothing about your medical history that, when you are in the ER having an asthma attack, first ask you to rate your pain on a scale of 1-10, and then, after you've sat in an antiseptic smelling room for hours because not being able to breathe doesn't really *hurt*, finally admit you and then proceed to ask you to breathe deeply while they check all sorts of vital (but not really, given the circumstances) stats.

That entire scenario is welcome to inhabit every hospital in Mordor.

Also, guys who think that just because you are attractive means that you're a *****. They can burn in Mordor. I officially assign them.

[Bêthberry]

Well, I, for one, am extremely loathe to assign anything or anyone to Mordor. It's a nasssty place and how am I to know of someone's private disposition? And of their chances for repentance or something?

How about Dol Guldur though? ;)

[tar-ancalime]

Well, for the most part I'm with Bethberry--for example, I have yet to see a vegetable on this thread that I don't like!

But there is one group of people whom I would banish: all the people who, on hearing about my new job (which will entail a major relocation), immediately ask me in an accusing voice what my husband is going to do. If the genders were reversed, wouldn't the first question likely be, Are you excited? Or perhaps, However did you hear about this position? Or the ever-popular, Congratulations! Not an immediate, insulting implication that a fantastic opportunity for me is not reason enough for both of us to move away. :mad:

[Mithalwen]

Oh I am off to Mordor on the vote thing - I do believe you should register your vote even if you do not cast it since not to do so is an insult to those who fought and died trying to obtain suffrage. Many women in the world still do not have the right to vote. And I had to wait till I was 26 to cast my vote in person in a general election :( ......

And since this brit regards "bird" as a totally unacceptable way of referring to a woman - I didn't make that mistake ;)

[The Saucepan Man]

Intolerant people who would assign minor irritations to the most miserable, dangerous and evil place in the world without a moment's thought ... :p ;)

Happily, though, having assigned me to Mordor, it seems that people are now sending some of my favourite things there. So maybe it's not so bad after all. :D

[littlemanpoet]

Yes, I find it somewhat affrighting
by the speed most blighting
with which various among us Dead
do find ourselves so led
as to "swat a fly toward Mordor".
But if Tolkien will deplore
a Siamese Cat,
are flies better than that?

What else did Tolkien so deplore
as to assign to Mordor?

[Formendacil]

People who go up to you at work and ask "Do you work here?"

People who come in to the library at the same time of the same day, every week, and look at the same books, which are then left around to be picked up and reshelved for them to come in and look at in a week's time.

Kids/teens who come in to the library for something like eight hours a week to go on the computers and play the SAME internet game each time. Get a life, people! No wonder obesity is on the rise. Internet use I can understand, eight hours I can understand (easily), but on the SAME game in the PUBLIC LIBRARY????

Lawnmowing: it's pointless. It never stops. ;)

[Lathriel]

One no-brainer Britney spears.
Also I agree with Encaitare that AP exams should fit in nicely.

Math should also go to Mordor. Its evil. Luckily this will be my last year ever taking math. Can't wait till I'm done.

Nuclear bombs should go to Mordor and STAY there never to bother us again. Although we might just run out of room.

peopl who snore should go to Mordor untill they stop.

[mormegil]

Intolerant people who would assign minor irritations to the most miserable, dangerous and evil place in the world without a moment's thought ...

Happily, though, having assigned me to Mordor, it seems that people are now sending some of my favourite things there. So maybe it's not so bad after all. :D


I must correct you Saucepan Man I gave these exactly a moments thought no more no less :D ;)

[Lalwendë]

Yes, I find it somewhat affrighting
by the speed most blighting
with which various among us Dead
do find ourselves so led
as to "swat a fly toward Mordor".
But if Tolkien will deplore
a Siamese Cat,
are flies better than that?

What else did Tolkien so deplore
as to assign to Mordor?

I'd like to see more posts written in verse! :)

I think I'm with Tolkien on motor transport. Like him, I drive because there's not always a lot of choice, and it would be restrictive if I could not do that. Cars are fine when you are in one, but when you are standing by the side of a stinky road they most definitely are not. On May Day we were halfway up a local hill (a mountain in English terms ;) ) and some kids roared past on scrambling bikes, ruining it for everyone else.

I still can't get my head round why he didn't like Siamese cats though! That seems arbitrary so I too can be arbitrary. Today my pet peeve is going to be people who rush everywhere and tut when you take your time, e.g. getting in a huff when I chat to shop assistants while I pay, which I think is only being pleasant - but then I think Tolkien might agree with me on that one. :p

[Mithalwen]

Well I don't object to chatting to shop assistants per se but it can be maddening if the gossip for ages and you are debating whether you really have to get back to the office this instant or can hang on for another 5 minutes without incurring too much wrath. And I do find it baffling that people queue for half an hour to get their car tax and then look suprised to be asked for their MOT and Insurance docs and start rummaging in their handbags... but I wouldn't necessarily condemn tem to Mordor for their lack of forethought.......

Leylandii must go there though.... and slugs my poor hostas look like ... well very holey things indeed... Boromir maybe... ;)

[Bêthberry]

Yes, I find it somewhat affrighting
by the speed most blighting
with which various among us Dead
do find ourselves so led
as to "swat a fly toward Mordor".
But if Tolkien will deplore
a Siamese Cat,
are flies better than that?

What else did Tolkien so deplore
as to assign to Mordor?


Did Tolkien order
more to Mordor?

Yes and some not so blithely meant
as the Siamese Cats he sent.

First, some of his own side in war
who succumbed to bullying evermore;
And that blasted confraternity
who offended Chris in the army.

Modern life he also placed
in Mordor with disgrace
for its noisome, loathesome
fume and stench,
which daily, goodness it would drench
with uninhabitable pestilence.

Doggerel hath its uses
for allowing abuses
of poetic rhyme and sense.
Time always giddily spent.

[Lalwendë]

Well I don't object to chatting to shop assistants per se but it can be maddening if the gossip for ages and you are debating whether you really have to get back to the office this instant or can hang on for another 5 minutes without incurring too much wrath.

Oh I don't hold long discussions, just "Ooh, in't the weather nice today?" kind of chats while I pack my bags up! It does have advantages, as today I was able to purchase a breakfast even though I was outside stated times and got free bacon into the bargain, all because I was 'a regular'. :)

Today my thing for Mordor will be the nanny state, something else I think Tolkien would agree with. By this I mean the sanctimonious government initiatives which have led to almost constant news stories prying into people's personal lives and there is too much criticising and trying to modify our behaviour. I don't care what people give their children to eat, it's up to them frankly. I'm sure Tolkien would have agreed with this. The Shire was filled with happy Hobbits, smoking, drinking and eating to their hearts' content; they'd get roundly scolded for this today. ;)

[Mithalwen]

While on the whole I am for minimal government interference, people should be aware of what they are doing - and the government has responsibility for school (and hospital ) food... so many children are malnourished - my form group had 27/31 on free school meals, which should to my mind mean that a child is guaranteed one nutritious meal a day regardless of parental housekeeping skills. However the food offered was disgusting -I did try and persuade one of my group (aged 13 looked about 9..) that a lunch consiting entirely of jelly might not be the best option..... but I cannot say I blame him given the alternatives....

I think hobbit children despite their natural build and substantial food requirements were realtively healthy and active - and it was all natural and organic I bet. I am sure that Tolkien would not have approved of children so hyped on sugar and additives that they can't concentrate and so obese they can't move.... in the words of the "Now Show", children who just sit there and fizz.....


As for smoking - smokers more than fund themselves with the tax they pay so as far as I am concerned they can puff away to your heart's content.... :D

[Bywaters]

Mithalwen posted:
And I do find it baffling that people queue for half an hour to get their car tax and then look suprised to be asked for their MOT and Insurance docs and start rummaging in their handbags...
... and when you finally get to the counter, you get told that it has gone up five pounds! :mad: With no explaination or apology.
I think the whole British public transport system and the way it is funded should go to Mordor.

Lalwendë posted:
Today my thing for Mordor will be the nanny state...
I live in quite a green area with some parks and fields, literally acres, but you never see anyone use it! When me and my mates go for a "kick about" we're usually the only ones there. No wonder kids are getting obese if they never do any exercise. I think it is partly to do with the "nanny state"; parents not letting their kids out where they cant see them.

[Mithalwen]

There isn't actually, as far as I know laws against letting kids out - it is just that people are paranoid that they will be abducted, run over etc and councils etc are terrified of being sued... all very depressing really... little patches of Mordor everywhere.... People are very bad at realistically assessing risk.... and the media is partly to blame for that.

[Celebuial]

Chavs: I live in a place particularly full of them, they just play loud music on their mobiles, spit swear, loaf around annoy passers-by and vandalise things. I hate to classify people but when you're surrounded by them it becomes easier.

People who use the phrase "It's not rocket science": Well, rocket science isn't really that hard.....

People who assume that I'm a fan of Star Trek just because I'm starting an Astrophysics degree.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Um... what's a "Chav"?

One thing that can certainly be sent with no return... computer viruses. And spyware. They can rot there.

[Anguirel]

I'm also going to Mordor over the vote. There's the Emily-Davison-in-front-of-the-King's-horse angle, and the oh-my-God-40%-that-could-have-mangled-Blair-has-been-wasted angle. Both seem pretty convincing to me. And the BNP are Uruk-Hai, so they're there in any case...

[Celebuial]

Um... what's a "Chav"?

A chav is the kind of person that wears Burbery( sorry can't spell that!), or Von Dutch when they can't afford it, or imitations of these. Their mecca is the JD Sports shop chain.They live in tracksuits and wear their trousers tucked in to their socks; they have those really vulgar trainers with the huge soles and springs and stuff; they hang around in large groups and harrass people; they spit; swear constantly; don't tend to do well at school/college; use lots of slang; they hate any one who is different from them; and most important, they only liked LotR when it was 'in' and then they only liked the special effects and fights scenes in the movie. As soon as the films were over anyone who liked LotR was 'out' and they now hated the film's because they couldn't understand them and because they were 'too long'. They haven't heard of Tolkien and prob'ly don't know whaty a book is.

I'm not going to appologise to anyone for insulting them because I know that none of you guys could be chavs (you're too nice and 'Tolkieny'). Perhapp's it is now apparent why these foul creatures should be assigned to Mordor?

[Celebuial]

Oh, corsets should go too.

[Mithalwen]

Chav /chavettes here are a few examples.. but not sure of the US equivalent is trailer trash maybe? ... there are rich chavs too for whom money has not bought taste... ;)

[Mithalwen]

Chav /chavettes ... here are a few examples.. but not sure of the US equivalent is trailer trash maybe? ...

http://www.littlebritain.tv/characters_vicky.htm

http://www.siglamag.com/blaggersguide/0412/Chavs.php

http://www.chavscum.co.uk/celebrity.php

[littlemanpoet]

Chav /chavettes ... Ug. I guess we Americans finally have something to feel sorry for you Brits about. Yeah, I noticed a few Americans on that scum site, but it still seems to be a Brit phenomenon (I hope I don't meet up with any of it when I go this Autumn). We have another name for the same thing, I suppose: Hollywood.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

With a cheery misanthropic wave of my hand,
I assign people in general to The Black Land.


(no offence guys, mais l'enfer c'est les autres.) :D

[Celebuial]

With a cheery misanthropic wave of my hand,
I assign people in general to The Black Land.

Quite understandable. I'm sure we deserve it! There are probably countless reasons why we should all be made to burn in the pits of Sammath Naur or to starve on the Plains Of Gorgoroth. What evil creatures we are!

Oh well, I s'pose it might be fun, but maybe only for the sadistc portion of our kind.

Just one question... If we were all in Mordor who would be enjoying a human free world? Other than animals (excluding the ones already assigned to Mordor), and tree's nearly everything has been assigned to Mordor. Maybe we already live in mordor with only a few glimpses of the star's shining through the cloud's after all.

[Anguirel]

The opposite conclusion
With goodwill and collusion
Would be to spare us all
From where the shadows fall.

These evils are subjective
Or, one might say, elective
Should you wish to smoke or drink
Is it Mordor in a blink?

The Siamese discerning
Still doesn't deserve burning-
Nay, even my Alsatians
Should give no such reparations.

Mordor was by the King purged
For good reason-cease to urge
Its all too quick repopulation
Can only lead to detestation.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Celeb, whomsoever finds his or herself in the position to assign something to Mordor should enjoy the human-free world. If anyone, I hope it's me! Or maybe if you look closely enough, I am comparing our own world to Mordor. How cynical of me.

Ang, very nice poem. You should have a rhyming face-off with Kransha. I think that would entertain the whole Barrowdowns. :smokin:

[Elonve]

People who cut Q's! Can't you wait your turn??

Pervs! get a life!

Dentists...ugly vile evil...inhumane creatures!

when you are waiting for the doctor to see you and they break for Coffee! cant the caffine wait??

I.B exams!

Republicans,(i.e. George W. Bush)

Bible thumpers

cheerleaders and jocks

VECTORS and ALGEBRA!
________
Digital Vaporizer (http://digitalvaporizers.info)

[Elonve]

thongs
________
Glass bong (http://glassbongs.org/)

[Gil-Galad]

My Math teacher...

[Orominuialwen]

Republicans,(i.e. George W. Bush) This forum really isn't the place for political comments, if you don't mind. Not all of us have the same views, and there are other places to discuss such things...

Final exams

Bad weather

Mosquitoes

[the phantom]

This forum really isn't the place for political comments
I agree. But what's done is done, so now someone needs to balance out what Elonve said for the sake of fairness.

Therefore, I declare that all people who think Republicans should go to Mordor should go to Mordor themselves. :p

[Anguirel]

Mosquitoes

This forum really isn't the place for biological comments, if you don't mind. Not all of us have the same views.

Oh, wait, it's mosquitoes. They do.

[Lhunardawen]

Seven o'clock classes, especially if you live 2 hours away.

Upperclassmen who think freshies are "just freshies" so they don't have as much right. Who do they think they are? :mad:

And budget cuts on my university. Oh, for crying out loud. As if we're not facility-challenged enough.

Then again, there's always hope for all these to redeem themselves...

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

I was going to post those sentiments after (I think it was the second) post, when someone said Communists should go to Mordor. Why are we talking about stuff like that? I thought this thread was for things like 7 o' clock classes (Amen, Lhuna!) and other such nonsense and fun.

Anywho, I assign mobile phones. Evil, evil things. On that I have no doubt JRRT would agree with me. Not that I'm living in the past or anything...

[Orominuialwen]

Geometry -- I just completely bombed my final. :mad:

Flash -- Everything I do with that software comes out all messed up, no matter what I try.

[Elonve]

sorry about the comment i made before. i now realize it was politiclly incorrect and was quite rude. i would like to make a formal appology to all who were hurt by my comment... i would like to personally thank the phantom for coming to my aid.

one thing i know that should go to mordor is war.

embarresed el
________
Design Host (http://hostndesign.com)

[Lathriel]

I agree with thongs. Especially when the girl who is wearing one is also wearing low pants, thus showing off her thong. SHUDDER

And if a guy wears one...that is just wrong. He should be sent straight to Barad-Dur

[Child of the 7th Age]

I personally assign to Mordor people on the road who race 15 or more over the speed limit only to end up at the red light, waiting, because they haven't enough sense or patience or both to go the speed limit and catch the lights green, which are all timed to work out right. Oh, and tailgaters too.

Whoops! Littlemanpoet, I do believe you have been spying on me as I go about my errands at a too hasty pace.... :eek: I will try to do better.

Here are a few of additions of my own. In the context of the modern world, it's not the Saurons that bother me as much as the Sarumans. There are too many of the latter running around making our lives miserable, and I would like to see them packed off to Mordor en masse. A few prime examples....


The geniuses who created all the picky details of the IRS tax code and then wrote these down in words that no one--well, almost no one--can understand. I think Saruman in particular would have loved poking into people's lives this way!
Those who trumpet the SAT and SATII tests as the one true barometer to gage a young person's mind and intellectual potential for purposes of college admissions (all the while vociferously maintaining that they are not doing that).
The modern Sarumans who run about with a superior attitude looking down on the Hobbits of the world without really understanding who those Hobbits are or what they face in their daily life.

[Lalwendë]

And if a guy wears one...that is just wrong. He should be sent straight to Barad-Dur

Ugh! Thanks to that I have a horrible image in my mind and think I will have to go and scrub my brains clean with some carbolic soap and a stiff nailbrush. :eek:

The geniuses who created all the picky details of the IRS tax code and then wrote these down in words that no one--well, almost no one--can understand. I think Saruman in particular would have loved poking into people's lives this way!

What? Civil servants?! The secret is that even they cannot understand what such codes and forms really mean.

[Lathriel]

My pleasure Lalwende! :D

I would also like to send the Wendy's guy a.k.a Wendy's unoficial spokesman to Mordor plus the Canadian Tire couple. (Just love what airfarce does with them)

[the guy who be short]

I suggest that all people who try to speak Old English when they can't be packed off straight to Mordor. It's not really hugely different from English, nor is it difficult to learn when to use "thou," "thy" and "thee." And please, learn your verbs. And why do I see people adding "-eth" to the ends of nouns? And...
*TGWBS mumbles on for a few more hours as less pedantic people leave one by one.*

[littlemanpoet]

My dear friend, tghbs, thou speakest not of Old English nor its descendant, Middle English, but Jamesian English, otherwise named Shakespearian, for the speech of the great poet's plays and that found in holy scripture. Have a care, young sirrah, to know of what thou speakest before thou displayest thine opinions. ;)

And I do believe that all of my usages are grammitcally correct.

[davem]

I suggest that all people who try to speak Old English when they can't be packed off straight to Mordor. It's not really hugely different from English, nor is it difficult to learn when to use "thou," "thy" and "thee.".*


Ah think tha reight theer. Tha 'nus what tha talking abaht. Tha shud be in charge thee!

Contemporary (Yorkshire) English

[the guy who be short]

Apologies for not being as learned in English history as others here :p :rolleyes:.
Jamesian English, as it is evidently called, is generally called Old(e) English by the less scholarly. ;)

Luckily the Barrow Downs isn't graced with any of these, but people who don't understand the function and use of the Caps Lock button should definitely be packed off to Mordor.

[Lalwendë]

Luckily the Barrow Downs isn't graced with any of these, but people who don't understand the function and use of the Caps Lock button should definately be packed off to Mordor.

You mean people WHO SHOUT I PRESUME? ;) I'm with you there! And also ppl who spk n txt n msg brds cos dey thnk its gr8. I even use proper spellings and punctuation on my text messages. But also, I don't like it when people automatically get pedantic over other peoples' spellings on boards, because firstly whole conversations can be lost in such pedantry, and secondly, you never know if someone has legitimate trouble with such things.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Agree about that (it's the mobile phones' fault I tells ye!)

I'll assign the Big Brother tv show, and everyone who watches and discusses it. Execution's too good for them. May they be tortured by Orcs for all eternity!

[Orominuialwen]

I assign reality TV shows in general. Each one is more inane than the next. The funny thing is, even though they're called reality shows, they're about as unrealistic as you can get.

[The Saucepan Man]

I'll assign the Big Brother tv show, and everyone who watches and discusses it.Whoops! That's me back in Mordor again ... :D

[Gil-Galad]

every Reality show except Drawn Together...that show is awesome...

[the phantom]

Reality TV is not exactly the pinnacle of entertainment, but it is immensely superior to all those afternoon soap operas. I imagine Mordor's official television station runs nothing but soaps.

[Celuien]

Anywho, I assign mobile phones. Evil, evil things. On that I have no doubt JRRT would agree with me. Not that I'm living in the past or anything...

Well, the mobile phone can be nuisance but I wouldn't give mine up - it came in very handy when I had a flat in a bad part of town. How about people who can't be troubled to turn off their phones during movies, concerts and lectures and then insist on chatting about their grocery lists for an hour when their calls inevitably start to roll in?

Seems that I've been assigned to Mordor a few times in this thread too. :D

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

I think I'm safely far away from Mordor. :p :D

[Lalwendë]

Closely linked to reality TV is the slew of 'celebrity' magazines that stare you in the face in every newsagent. The covers feature ex-Big Brother contestants and they have in depth articles about Jade Goody's spots and such like. They must fill the shelves of the Mordor public library.

[Lathriel]

The only reality show that I like nowadays is The Amazing Race. Does that send me to Mordor? :rolleyes:
Mary-sues should be send to Mordor. Can't stand that kind of fan-fiction.

[littlemanpoet]

I am .... er ..... ah .... a regular viewer of Survivor. Funny, where did all those blasted pits and sumps come from? I don't remember seeing them before!...

[the guy who be short]

I would like to send my thirteen year old self to Mordor. Some of my posts from 2003 make me shudder, really they do.

I also, what is it, fifth? the brilliant notion of sending chavs to Mordor.

[Lhunardawen]

I send all cigarette smokers to Mordor, especially those who mindlessly spew their smoke. If they want to end their lives, there are other ways to do so without getting others involved.

Of course, in doing so, I think I've significantly diminished the Downs population. Hopefully I did not.

[The Saucepan Man]

I send all cigarette smokers to Mordor ... Of course, in doing so, I think I've significantly diminished the Downs population. Hopefully I did not.No worries. I'm already firmly esconced in Mordor. :rolleyes: :D

[Celuien]

On a date not too long ago, Celuien was convicted of 1) driving too fast, 2) possession of a mobile phone, and 3) watching crass reality TV programs. For said offenses, she was sent packing to the Land of Mordor. Fortunately, she has been able to maintain correspondence with her friends back home through the Mordor Postal Service (MPS)...

The Exiles' Inn, Mordor, 30 Forelithe, sometime in the Seventh Age

Dear ____,

Well, I still can’t quite understand how this whole thing happened, but here I am in Mordor (who knew Mordor really existed???). It’s just so unfair – is it really so bad that I tend to go a bit above the speed limit? After all, 40 mph (64 km/h) is slow for a four-lane road with a median and no stoplights. And I do turn off my phone when I’m in class or at concerts and movies. Except for that one time. Or was it twice? I don’t know why I need more punishment for watching Fear Factor. Just seeing the show was bad enough.

Mordor is hotter than Philadelphia in August, but fortunately it’s not nearly as humid. If you manage to send it, I could use some water ice, as the heat and dust are somewhat trying. At least no one has said,”Yo! How youse doin’?” since I’ve been here. “Youse” is bad enough in its proper dialectal use as the plural form of “you”, but it’s twice as bad when used in the singular as well. With my luck, someone will probably assign all users of annoying non-standard words to Mordor.

There’s not much going on here. Since it seems that all calculus exams have been sent to Mordor with me, I’ve been able to go back over my favorite indeterminate forms and work on calculating functions for particles in one-dimensional boxes. Life really isn’t too bad. The main problem is keeping away from all of these orcs. I’ll have to work out a method of confining them to a box, preferably one-dimensional.

That’s about all. I’d better head off to fill in the holes I was digging earlier when I tried to get a tater garden started. Some of my fellow Mordor assignees tripped over the new pits that I made and were somewhat unhappy about their consequent twisted ankles.

Until we meet again,
Celuien

[the guy who be short]

I assign all users of non-standard words to Mordor. :D

Oh, and furthering Elonves comment, I believe all politicians should be sent to Mordor. I'm sure humanity could slash its lies by 50% (at least) were it rid of the fiends.

Nightmares, too, belong in Mordor.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

May I send REGENTS exams to Mordor? Actually, not just REGENTS, but all standardized tests. They're a fantastically bad way of measuring intelligence, and all they do is serve to stress out students needlessly, force teachers to ignore many of the more interesting aspects of their subject in order to teach what's on a test, and make custodians carry desks around.

[Celuien]

I assign all users of non-standard words to Mordor. :D

I just knew someone was going to have to do that. The horror! :D

[the guy who be short]

Well, Celuien, the advantage is that we send Shakespeare straight to Mordor.

I would also like to pack off American spelling. Gandalf is Grey and always will be, I'm afraid.

[mormegil]

I would also like to pack off American spelling. Gandalf is Grey and always will be, I'm afraid.

I would rather be in favor of sending British spelling. I mean, seriously it's pronounced with a z sound so why not spell it realize instead of realise, and many others of the sort.

(although I would love it if I could say the word theater as you Brits do)

[Orominuialwen]

I second the sending of British spelling, with the exceptions of grey and aluminium. Those look/sound much better the British way, but all the rest of the time, it just means having to type extra letters.

[The Saucepan Man]

I would rather be in favor of sending British spelling. I mean, seriously it's pronounced with a z sound so why not spell it realize instead of realise, and many others of the sort.That should be "favour". :p

(although I would love it if I could say the word theater as you Brits do)Surely you mean "theatre". You see, it's much easier to pronounce it correctly when you spell it correctly. :p

I would not presume to send either American spelling or American pronunciation to Mordor. But when they creep across the Atlantic and corrupt the very mother-tongue from which they were derived, then it's straight off to Minas Morgul with them as far as I'm concerned (or it would be if I wasn't already here myself)

I've lost count of the number of times that I have screamed at news presenters that it's controversy not controversy. :mad:

[littlemanpoet]

Ah but the language is going to change around that which the tongue finds most fluid. Always has, always will ... unless you're German, Mein Freund. :p And the language we speak, like it or not (and I often enough do NOT) is going to end up more often than not rendered as controversy and nuc-uler (eeew!).

[Orominuialwen]

nuc-uler (eeew!) I send that mangling of the word nuclear to Mordor. I have yet to have a science teacher that pronounces it properly, which worries me. If they can't correctly pronounce words in their own profession, who's to say they know other things in it? :p

[the guy who be short]

TGWBS started this affair, and TGWBS should finish it...

I've found a wonderful solution. Let's just send English to Mordor. :D

Don't look at me like that. Can you honestly say you like the sound of English?

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

I like the sound of cellar door... ;)

But I agree with "nuc-ular" be shipped off. How did a "u" get in there? It's "noo-kleer". *sigh*

[The Saucepan Man]

Can you honestly say you like the sound of English?Depends whose speaking. With a soft regional accent such as Cornish or Southern Irish, it is in my opinion a beautiful sounding language. French and Italian probably have the edge on it, but it beats German hands down. :p ;)

It's "noo-kleer". Surely you mean "new-clear". :p

[Orominuialwen]

Just about any language could beat German hands down. :p ;)

[Orominuialwen]

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be rude! I just meant that from my personal experience, I'm not too fond of the way German sounds. My native language is English, but I'm not particularly fond of the way it sounds either. It comes right after German on my list of languages I dislike by their sound.

I wasn't trying to make any sort of reflection on Germany, or German people. My apologies to anybody I've upset, but that certainly wasn't my intention.

[mormegil]

While I think racism should be sent to Mordor I don't feel offended by what you said. My descendents are German and I still have a very German last name. However, I don't believe the language to be the prettiest sounding of languages. I am rather fond of Portuguese myself. However Russian is similarly harsh like German, but I like the sound of it.

[the guy who be short]

Perhaps to offend everybody equally, we should send the entire concept of language to Mordor?
No, I'd rather not...

I think food poisoning should go to Mordor (influenced by current events in my life ;)) as should prolonged conjunctivitis. Less specifically, all illnesses should go there.

Also, birds singing at obscene hours in the morning. This may seem a little harsh, but why birds feel compelled to chirp outside my window at 4:00am is beyond me; the only explanation I can salvage is that they are servants of Mordor.

[the phantom]

People who are greatly offended by comments that were not meant to be offensive should go to Mordor, particularly if their name begins with a "G".

Actually, let's make this more general. People who are easily offended should go to Mordor.

And also, people who are constantly worried about offending someone should go to Mordor, too. That's where those wishy-washy-politically-correct types belong.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

I'll send people who don't understand what political correctness is to Mordor.

Not you phantom, you know what you're talking about (as always) but it sickens me when someone moans about political correctness, when it's his own obnoxious self that is causing the trouble.

Likewise, people who accuse such things as, say, long lines in the post office as being down to political correctness gone mad. That's just idiotic.

Political correctness itself is usually very silly. However, people who hide behind the barricade entitled 'Political correctness is bad!' are often monstrous sorts.

As for language, dialects, etc...a dislike for one is so obviously not racist that I'm not going to comment on it any further.

[dancing spawn of ungoliant]

Also, birds singing at obscene hours in the morning. This may seem a little harsh, but why birds feel compelled to chirp outside my window at 4:00am is beyond me; the only explanation I can salvage is that they are servants of Mordor.
I agree with you whole-heartedly!! Except the birds outside my window don't chirp. They shriek and bawl.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

If birdsong is in Mordor then Mordor simply cannot be that bad a place. :p

I assign the combination of the words 'have' and 'got', as in "I have got low intelligence."

No, there's no 'got' necessary. You have low intelligence and that's it.

[Lathriel]

I don't think any language should be send to Mordor since I find all of them interesting.

But I do think that Dutch is the prettier version of german and I can't stand it when people pronounce the z as a zee!!!! That pronouncation should be send to Mordor and never heard of again.

[Kath]

Actually lathriel that's one that annoys me.

That pronouncation should be send to Mordor and never heard of again.

You pronounce something but it's pronunciation. Not getting at you it just drives me nuts!

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Mice can go go Mordor. Along with any particularly embarassing reactions to the little creatures that involve first screaming, then swearing colourfully, and then trying your best to speed acceleration due to gravity from 9.8 m/s^2 up to anything faster as you ignore the rungs of a perfectly good ladder to drop through the trap door and land while running, making it from mouse to door in under three seconds.

Not that that happened to me this afternoon or anything.

And about those Regents exams I sent to Mordor? The Physics ones in particular can stay there and burn. Because really, who but Sauron would ask anyone to explain to them time (t) in terms of height (h) using gravity (g) and providing an equation to top it off? And who asks a 17-year-old to find the mass of the sun... who does that? It's Sauron's doing, I swear it.

[Encaitare]

I would also like to pack off American spelling. Gandalf is Grey and always will be, I'm afraid.

Of course he is! And hence, I am in the habit of using "grey" all the time, now. "Youse guys" across the pond have infiltrated my mind with your spellings, though... and I highly suspect many of the books I read only increase the effect. You've no idea how often I have pluck the letter U out of "color" and swap S's with their rightful Z's... :-D

nuc-uler (eeew!)

One of many reasons I dislike Bush. The dictionary claims "nuclear" can be pronounced either way, but I think it's all a plot to make our president look smarter than he is.

I have yet to have a science teacher that pronounces it properly,

I feel your pain... my astronomy teacher always said it wrong, and we all snickered from the back of the room.

And who asks a 17-year-old to find the mass of the sun...

Just remember it's a mass of incandescent gas, and you'll be fine. ;)

For those who didn't get that... ignore me.

Hmmm... what shall I send to Mordor? Summer reading books, I think. Nassty books that cut into my personal reading time. And standardized tests, as Fea said, for although I seem to be good at them, studying for them cuts into my watching of Monty Python DVDs... like this didn't happen this week.

[Lhunardawen]

Colds viruses - all strains and mutations of them - without a doubt belong to Mordor.

*cough* *sniff* *sniff*

[Orominuialwen]

British TV mini-series of the '70's and '80's (often shown on the PBS show Mystery in the US) that switch back and forth between film and video, depending on if the shot is indoors or out. It really annoys me, and has a way of detracting from otherwise lovely series (such as the Lord Peter Wimsey and Rumpole ones.) I wish they would just pick one medium and stay with it!

[THE Ka]

My friend Autumn. You have to hate, but love someone as assuming as Mordor's landscape.

Tisk, tissssk... Let's see. What else...

Oh! Unpredictable kilns! They are as greedy as Mt. Doom, if one thing about the clay is slightly valuable to you,*BOOM!*

Another has to be Wednesdays... Who likes something that keeps you in a suspense between Tuesday and Thursday?

I can't think of anymore right now. I will get back with more when they attack me again, or I remember...

~ Ka

[Lhunardawen]

Another has to be Wednesdays... Who likes something that keeps you in a suspense between Tuesday and Thursday? Oh, I do! I have no classes on Wednesdays! Yipee!...Oh wait. Math long exams will be scheduled on at most five Wednesdays this term. :rolleyes:

[littlemanpoet]

Is anybody up for a new Gondor rpg featuring spoofy characters trapped with all the things we've assigned to Mordor? Lots of descriptions of places like "Nurnia" and what not? The goal being to escape from Mordor by getting "unassigned" by those who have assigned?

Screwy idea, maybe, but thought I'd ask... :D

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

If we could do it, LMP, I think it would be a blast, not to mention hilarious. The only problem is that I can't play in Gondor. :( Just think of all those poor smokers trying to quit... all those gigantic fissures in the landscape that are spewing smoke would certainly be getting to them. Or stumbling across a sheaf of papers that turned out to be difficult exams filled out with the words "Who really cares?"...

[mormegil]

I would like to assign the way some people speak. Not the people themselves, I simply want to get rid of they way they say things. Out here in the western part of the US in a lot of rural communities (in cities as well but more prevelant in rural areas) people use double negatives all of the time. It makes me cringe everytime I hear it. Also when they use the wrong combination of words...one of the worst ones is "we was" honestly people say it just like that. "We was driving down from the cabin..."

Again I do not assign the people just the incorrectness of their speech.

[Celuien]

Ah, lmp, what an intriguing idea. I read through the Entish Bow RPGs the other day and was in stitches. But I've never been in an RPG before and can't play in Gondor either. :(

Mormegil's post has me thinking...

Someone attempts to utter a sentence containing a double negative and mismatched form of "be," but no sound is heard. Instead, a disembodied voice rings out over Gorgoroth, "We was trying to drive down from the cabin, but we didn't have no gas."

[littlemanpoet]

"We was trying to drive down from the cabin, but we didn't have no gas."

I think the correct grammatical construction of that dialect is "ditt'n have no gas." :D Yes, it's actually "correct" within its dialect - which is generally known in the States as Cumberland, and it's spreading far and wide with the ever increasing popularity of "country music" in this Hyar kuntree. I can't stand the stuff myself, so into Mordor it goes. :p

Funny, about not being allowed to play in Gondor rpg's, I wasn't allowed to either, but got invited by an rpg'er and nobody, no mod's not nobody, said a peep about it. Kud we mebbe dyoo it hyar in Middle Arth Marth?

My personal pet peev in regard to the English language is the misuse of "myself" as a kind of false modesty, allowing speakers to get away with placing themselves before others in their sentences. For example. "The guarantee I just described applies to myself and Ted here." Maybe it's that they have a hunch that they don't know whether to use 'I' or 'me' and so cop out with this 'myself' baloney. It's a simple rule, really: the above sentence should be rendered "The guarantee I just described applies to Ted and me." Not Ted and I. If you remove the "Ted and" from the sentence (and you know anything about grammar), you know which it ought to be.

So to Mordor with the "myself and".

[Lathriel]

I think country music should be sent to Mordor. I can't stand it and every song seems the same to me.

*Hides behind a chair because there might be some country fans here*

[Encaitare]

Screwy idea, maybe, but thought I'd ask... :D

I think it sounds awesome... like others, though, I cannot play in Gondor. I'm but a wee Shireling.

Another thing I'd like to send to Mordor are news reports, when they interview someone but only provide a snippet of what they're saying. You can see the interviewee's mouth continuing to move (if they keep him in shot long enough), but the newscaster talks over them. How do you know what the person's saying? How do you know they're not taking a quote out of context?

[Orominuialwen]

The RPG sounds like a great idea, but never having been in one before, I can't play in Gondor either.

Another thing I'd like to send to Mordor are news reports, when they interview someone but only provide a snippet of what they're saying. You can see the interviewee's mouth continuing to move (if they keep him in shot long enough), but the newscaster talks over them. How do you know what the person's saying? How do you know they're not taking a quote out of context? This bothers me too. It could be quite easily avoided, too. They could use something called "b-roll," which is when you hear the person talking, but see a different image on the screen. It's used all the time to bridge the gaps when part of the person's speech is cut out, or something like that, and it could be quite easily used in this situation.

[littlemanpoet]

I'll ask some mod or other what can be done about an "I Was Assigned to Mordor" rpg (IWAM?).

[Kath]

lmp why don't you shorten the name to Assigned To Mordor - ATM and then we can send those damned machines there as well. Those card-stealing, money-grabbing, continually broken minions of hell!

*Takes deep breath* - Ok better now :rolleyes:

[THE Ka]

Oh, I do! I have no classes on Wednesdays! Yipee!...Oh wait. Math long exams will be scheduled on at most five Wednesdays this term. :rolleyes:


Well, there you go. And as for math, I only favor geometry. Ah, yes, those wonderfully safe circles...

Sorry, but this 'bugged' me...

Kud we mebbe dyoo it hyar in Middle Arth Marth?

It was really hard to understand... I had to re-read it five times. It is funny how different sub-cultures can develop wonderfully interesting dialects. I admire it. It was a very humorious expression.

As for where I am taking up residence, I have still to grasp the confusing vocabulary of the many coffee houses... :(

Another thing that can nace off to mordor for good would have to be diamonds. Dreadfully bland things, there is absolutely no 'wow!' effect. Yes, they may sparkle, have the power to corrupt whole countires and world markets, cut glass, but not much else can be said for color. There are some varieties, but that color doesn't pack much of a punch.

Okay, that's about it for now. I'll try to find more soon.

~ Ka

[Encaitare]

Another thing that can nace off to mordor for good would have to be diamonds. Dreadfully bland things, there is absolutely no 'wow!' effect. Yes, they may sparkle, have the power to corrupt whole countires and world markets, cut glass, but not much else can be said for color. There are some varieties, but that color doesn't pack much of a punch.

Cheers, Ka. I'd rather have colorful, sparkly rocks than clear, sparkly rocks. Actually, I'd rather have some new books than any sparkly rocks, but that's beside the point. :rolleyes:

[Celuien]

I think the correct grammatical construction of that dialect is "ditt'n have no gas." :D Yes, it's actually "correct" within its dialect - which is generally known in the States as Cumberland, and it's spreading far and wide with the ever increasing popularity of "country music" in this Hyar kuntree. I can't stand the stuff myself, so into Mordor it goes. :p


I stand corrected. :)

Ah reck'n we can put this hyar game inta Middle Arth Marth.

I think I'll assign rap (I can't call it music) to Mordor. Horrid stuff.

[Bêthberry]

Here's an RP forum Mod stepping in with some comments about this hyah projikct ahbut Mordah.

Your questions are all answered (or just about) in the threads with the rules for gaming on the Barrow Downs. "Ecthelion's Tower" in Gondor explains how littlemanpoet can game in Gondor even though he cannot start games there--he was invited by a Gondorian to join her game, with the expectation that she was responsible for keeping his posts up to snuff. ;)

The "Golden Hall" thread in Gondor and "The Redbook of Westmarch" in The Shire explain the other rules governing who can game where and who can start games where.

My understanding is that RPGs are allowed only in the forums devoted to them. They cannot be started elsewhere on the Barrow Downs. I suppose you could always petition Barrow Wight and Mithadan about this, though, at least to clarify. They's da bosses in this hyah place.

I would say I smell a game, but I wouldn't want anyone to take that as a criticism that this is a rank idea. ;)

[Celuien]

Here's an RP forum Mod stepping in with some comments about this hyah projikct ahbut Mordah.

Your questions are all answered (or just about) in the threads with the rules for gaming on the Barrow Downs. "Ecthelion's Tower" in Gondor explains how littlemanpoet can game in Gondor even though he cannot start games there--he was invited by a Gondorian to join her game, with the expectation that she was responsible for keeping his posts up to snuff. ;)

The "Golden Hall" thread in Gondor and "The Redbook of Westmarch" in The Shire explain the other rules governing who can game where and who can start games where.

My understanding is that RPGs are allowed only in the forums devoted to them. They cannot be started elsewhere on the Barrow Downs. I suppose you could always petition Barrow Wight and Mithadan about this, though, at least to clarify. They's da bosses in this hyah place.

I would say I smell a game, but I wouldn't want anyone to take that as a criticism that this is a rank idea. ;)

Thank'ee for the clarification. :cool:
*Heads off to read rule threads.*

[turgon]

Tax collectors :eek:
what more foul beast slipped thru the cracks of mordors shadows then a tax collector?

[Holbytlass]

I assign to Mordor....
road rage unless provoked by the lack of skill of merging smoothly on and off highway ramps and
white chocolate :mad: that's just vanilla trying to be chocolate! I will, however, dabble with evil if it's covering Oreo's . :D

[Lathriel]

Gasp!!! I LOVE white chocolate! People who don't like it should be sent to Mordor. So Holbytlass due to your dislike of white chocolate you are in Mordor but I am in Mordor as well since you think people who do like white chocolate should be send to Mordor. :rolleyes:

[Lalwendë]

In contrast to everyone else I am going to send Standard English to Mordor. I don't mean written English, but spoken English, as I love all the differences in pronunciation and accent. I especially love differences in dialect where people use double negatives, dropped aitches and peculiar words. The South Yorkshire term for 'sweets' is 'spice', which fascinates me; how can the opposite word become the common word for something? What I do not like is the spread of Estuary English, as sadly it seems to have wiped out much dialect use in England, thus reducing the colour of our language. And nuclear is pronounced
knee-yooclee-ur around here. ;)

[Holbytlass]

Lathriel, I said white chocolate is to be sent to Mordor not the people who (are not in their right minds ;) ) like it. But since we are both in Mordor, I suppose we can make our stay in Mordor very comfortable with Oreos covered in REAL chocolate and white chocolate respectively! :D I mean, you DO like oreos, don't you?! *eyeing suspiciously*

Tax collectors :eek:
what more foul beast slipped thru the cracks of mordors shadows then a tax collector? Well, now I have to say that a few of the foul beasts must have reformed because of some that I've worked with. Actually, I should say they worked with me! And believe me, they could have sent me away for 1000 years of hard labor rowing a Corsair ship! But instead, they were most patient and helpful in a very exasperating (on both sides) situation.

As for the language contravercy, it reminds me of a routine Gallagher (the watermelon busting comedian) did on words, for example why doesn't foot sound the same as boot .

[Lathriel]

Yes I do like oreos. I will bring a few boxes of them, and you bring a few. Thus our confinement in Mordor should be much more pleasant. Although I hope it will be brief.

[Lhunardawen]

Tax collectors :eek:
what more foul beast slipped thru the cracks of mordors shadows then a tax collector? Have you read the New Movie Script in ME Mirth?


white chocolate :mad: that's just vanilla trying to be chocolate! Say, that's an interesting theory. I never looked at white chocolate that way before, but it does make sense.

I assign scary profs to Mordor. They add spice (not the South Yorkshire term as Lalwendë defined it, though :D ) to college life, yes, but I'd like less excitement in life for now. I have enough of that haunting Storyland.

[turgon]

I checked it out Lhunardawen thanks for redirect

[Sophia the Thunder Mistress]

Doomed to Mordor:

Dangling prepositions. Sentences (at the very least in written English, Lal) should never end with any of the following: at, of, to, with, for, under. Or any preposition not previously mentioned.

Dogs which won't housebreak properly. I am not in good-spirits while shoveling poopies off the floor. Poopie wherever you like in Mordor canine friends.

Watered down beverages. There's nothing worse than drinking something that tastes halfway like juice (coffee, tea, milk, beer, etc.) but half like water.

[littlemanpoet]

Doomed to Mordor:

Dangling prepositions. Sentences (at the very least in written English, Lal) should never end with any of the following: at, of, to, with, for, under. Or any preposition not previously mentioned.

Ah, but then there is the anecdote of Sir Winston Churchill, criticized for his improper use of prepositions and other such, to which he said something to the effect of, You criticize my English? Excuse me, but English is my language, and I will speak it as I please, for you make an imposition up with which I will not put! ;)

[Kath]

up with which I will not put

Forming Geroge Lucas' idea for Master Yoda - who should be put in Mordor for his appalling way of speaking in the last Star Wars film. It was bad enough in the others but is now completely over the top.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

To Mordor I will send...

People who look at me with a horrified look as they see the habit I've developed of dipping Troops' curly fries into chocolate ice cream. I blame my brother for introducing me to that fantastic taste combination.

And I'll send my own inability to turn down food-dares. "Hey Fea, I dare you to eat cheese doodles and marshmallows at the same time." *thinks* "Eeeew.... okay." (for common knowledge, the combined taste is somewhat like Lucky Charms).

Also heading off to Mordor is this blessed hot weather that makes me not want to eat. Me! Not hungry. :eek: And when henna fades so it looks like you're dirty, instead of decorated. Horrible affliction. And spider bites. Nasty things.

[Oddwen]

The improper switching of "your" and "you're". *twitch* Can't handle...must...

I condemn thee to the side of the smokers and to the sheafs of standardized tests, foul grammar error of Sauron!

And a game of sorts might be fun.

Hush, Italex.

Though I've not been sent to Mordor yet, I think...does purposeful misuse of Jamesian English count?
Though there's alot of stuff I'd like to get out of Mordor.

[the guy who be short]

Oddwen, I'm afraid you have been sent to Mordor. I remember somebody assigning humanity in general to the Curséd realm.

Myself, I will now send all language to Mordor, for the divisions it causes amongst the people of the 'Downs. Henceforth, this midget will communicate only in gestures*. *bows and leaves*

*Don't hold me to that, by the way.

[Orominuialwen]

I assign native English speakes who misuse apostrophes. I can understand how people who normally speak another language might have trouble, but I'm going to get violent if I see one more person write "I bought some new book's." :mad:


And I'll send my own inability to turn down food-dares. "Hey Fea, I dare you to eat cheese doodles and marshmallows at the same time." *thinks* "Eeeew.... okay." (for common knowledge, the combined taste is somewhat like Lucky Charms). You should try rice pudding with curry in it. They make a wonderful combination. (No, I am not kidding.)

[Lathriel]

Whenever I tell people I like black licorice they make a weird face and tell me it is really gross. I would really like to send those looks and comments to Mordor

[Oddwen]

Whenever I tell people I like black licorice they make a weird face and tell me it is really gross. I would really like to send those looks and comments to Mordor
Up, there I go, off to Mordor with the roadhogs...

[mormegil]

Up, there I go, off to Mordor with the roadhogs...

Well I'm off with you Oddwen, though for the life of me I can't understand why it wasn't the black licorice that was sent off instead of us. If there was ever a snack for orcs that would be it.

[Lathriel]

But black licorice is so good and there are so many different flavours. Shall I describe them?

There is salty black licorice, there is sweet black licorice. There is licorice that tastes like honey...

[Lalwendë]

Churchill as inspiration for Yoda? Fight them on the beaches we will. I can just see him now with his lightsaber cunningly hidden in his walking stick, or maybe it was in the cigar? :D

Dangling prepositions cause me not bother, but I do have an issue with misused apostrophes which bring out the pedant in me. The one misuse of English I do hate more than any other is when people mistakenly write you instead of your. As in "Bring you coat with you" or "Please refrain from putting you feet up on the table". :mad: I blame it on spell checkers!

[Celuien]

I assign native English speakes who misuse apostrophes. I can understand how people who normally speak another language might have trouble, but I'm going to get violent if I see one more person write "I bought some new book's." :mad:

The number of times I've seen "it's" and "its" confused in handouts from professors astounds me.

I'm assigning computer programs that won't permit uninstalls. I have one stuck on my PDA that isn't working but I can't take it off because it has assigned itself to a protected file. :mad:

[Lhunardawen]

Lalwendë, so spell checkers should go to Mordor? :D

[Sophia the Thunder Mistress]

Though there's alot of stuff I'd like to get out of Mordor. ~Oddwen I wonder if there ought to be a "Get out of Mordor Free Card"

Another thing I would like to send to Mordor: red food coloring. Gets everywhere, looks disgusting, tastes funny in quantity.

[Lathriel]

I think purple ketchup can go to mordor. It just looks absolutely disgusting!! :eek: How can people eat that...

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Mary-sues should be send to Mordor. How about satirical ones like my own dear Merisuwyniel? She's a gorgeous, talented, pure-blooded Elven shieldmaiden with a wonderful personality and a great fashion sense for knowing just what one wears to a Quest. You can't want to send her to Mordor!! :eek:

[Lathriel]

I am sorry but I don't like fan fiction very much in general. Go ahead write them, but I won't read them.

On Robin Hobb's website you can read a whole rant about fan fiction and I agree with her.

But I wouldn't send people to Mordor if they write fan fiction although I think Robin Hobb would.

[Bêthberry]

I doubt very much if this Robin Hobb's rant comes close to being applicable ;) to our very own Merisuwyniel or either of our Revenge of the Entish Bow or Reunification of the Entish Bow. Not *all* fanfictions are alike.

One really ought to read them before one casts rants. :eek: :)

[Lathriel]

I didn't mean it as a rant. Apologies if it was taken that way.

What else should be send to Mordor?

Clothes for dogs! With this I mean clothes like the ones Tinkerbell (Paris Hilton's dog) is forced to wear. I feel very sorry for the dog who has to wear such things.

[Lalwendë]

Clothes for dogs! With this I mean clothes like the ones Tinkerbell (Paris Hilton's dog) is forced to wear. I feel very sorry for the dog who has to wear such things.

Paris Hilton herself ought to be sent to Mordor. With a bit of luck the heat would melt her.

And anyone who names their kids after their hotels should go too. By that logic I might be called something Margate Seaview or Skegness Travelodge.

[VanimaEdhel]

Just to comment briefly on what Lathriel said - while I obviously don't dispute someone's right to create fanfiction, for some reason reading it always makes me uncomfortable. I just can never get as into it as I do to the stories created by the original authors. I realize this is probably hypocritical of me, seeing as I write my own fanfiction. But, since I feel so ill at ease reading the fanfiction of others, I never post mine: it's one of those things I do for myself alone. I'm always willing to share my original fiction, though.

Who would I send to Mordor? Gee, how can I answer that without getting political? That's a tough one.

Okay, I'll go a different route, then. How about we send all closed-minded bigots in general to Mordor. Although, that would make us closed-minded and would probably put us in the same category as those people, lumping them in one category and shipping them off.

I wouldn't mind sending some of the New York Yankees announcers into Mordor. I swear, most of them don't speak English - and it's supposedly their first and only language. My father and I have a joke that if you were to ask them, "What language do you speak?" they'd reply, "None."

"Other than English?"

"No. I speak no language."

Well, this is a phonetic interpretation of what the average call sounds like:
Duh pisch tuh Deter...lu-WING enna miss. Snike tree!

Translation:
The pitch to Jeter...Swing and a miss. Strike three!

And no, that was not exaggerated in any way, shape or form.

[the guy who be short]

People who still complain about languages, when all language has already been sent to Mordor. :p

[Lhunardawen]

Paris Hilton herself ought to be sent to Mordor. With a bit of luck the heat would melt her. I believe she's already in Mordor...
Anything having to do with Paris Hilton (including this sentence) .... and her ilk.

[the guy who be short]

The lack of published Quenya makes me rather sore
As it is quite evident that if there were some more
Ambiguous Quenya grammar could be a lot more sure
And so this deficiency goes directly to Mordor.

[Alcarillo]

Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie, and their loathesome reality shows should all go to Mordor, along with teachers who spend the entire school year reiterating what was already taught. That really annoys me.

[mormegil]

It's been many years since I've been in High School but I would assign busy work such as the end of year crossword puzzles or word searches that you had to hand in after working it all day in class. Why? Because the teacher didn't think it important to prepare a lesson. I mean seriously a word search...what do I really learn from that?

[Holbytlass]

ldirmchow ksxndhjwjzto
hsjsfind jndxhhdjsbxhydwords hdhcncn
of hnchddjdbhgdhsjcourse jdjiidhfue

[littlemanpoet]

With a soft regional accent such as Cornish or Southern Irish, it is in my opinion a beautiful sounding language.

I missed this earlier. So basically what you're saying is that English is a beautiful language when spoken by Celts, but not by the English (or Americans). :D

[Oddwen]

I hereby assign whatever amount of caffeine my sister consumed to deliberately mispell Michael as "Miocuhaiealy" as revenge for mispelling her name, and causing me to nearly choke on my nacho chips straight to Mordor.
I suspect this is a variation on the British/American spelling wars and is already in Mordor, but ah well.

[The Saucepan Man]

I missed this earlier. So basically what you're saying is that English is a beautiful language when spoken by Celts, but not by the English (or Americans). Absolutely, being part Celt myself. :D

Although I speak English the way that it should be spoken - without a hint of an accent. ;)

[littlemanpoet]

I assign Religious Fundamentalist Terrorists to Mordor and worse, if you know what I mean.

[the guy who be short]

I thought there was a non-worded agreement to keep this thread light-hearted and non-political. In any case, I doubt anybody would disagree with you, lmp, though perhaps the generalisation of "All Terrorists" would please people a little better.

[Kath]

I would like to assign overzealous political correctness. Why is it so wrong to ask for a black coffee? It's just a colour!

[the guy who be short]

Since when has it been wrong to ask for a black coffee? :confused:

One element of PCness that amuses me is the substitution of "Caucasian" for "white." Caucasian applies not only to Europeans, but also to Arabs and Indians. To Mordor!

[Kath]

Since when has it been wrong to ask for a black coffee?

It isn't. That's the point. It's too much.

[the guy who be short]

I have never yet been confronted for asking for a black coffee.

TGWBS: May I have a black coffee please?
Vendor: Excuse me! Are you insinuating that my coffee is racially inferior to other types?! Get out, foul Dwimmerlaik!

:rolleyes: Nope, don't see that ever happening. You must live in a really weird and scary place. :eek:

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Ah, political correctness... *sends it out the window with a swift kick*

In a world where a joke such as:

"Will you get me some eggs?"
"Brown or white?"
"White."
"Ooh, racist, are we?"

is actually too close to the truth for comfort... No, the funny thing is when, in a sentence, there are "whites and African Americans." Either say "Caucasion and African American" or "black and white" (or dark brown, or beige, or whatever other colors you like), but when people mix and match terminology to be "Politically Correct"... Disturbing.

Have I ever said before that sunburns belong in Mordor? 'Cuz they do.

[the guy who be short]

No, the funny thing is when, in a sentence, there are "whites and African Americans." Either say "Caucasion and African American" or "black and white" (or dark brown, or beige, or whatever other colors you like), but when people mix and match terminology to be "Politically Correct"... Disturbing.

There you go, using Caucasian for white again. :rolleyes:

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Caucasian applies not only to Europeans, but also to Arabs and Indians. To Mordor! It also applies to many Americans. I am of European descent, but am not European. You see, the word "caucasion" is a perfect word to be used as a generality for "non-"black" people who don't fit any of the rest of the labels".

[the guy who be short]

Americans. Granted. You're Europeans at heart, though...

You see, the word "caucasion" is a perfect word to be used as a generality for "non-"black" people who don't fit any of the rest of the labels".
False-o. "Caucasian" only applies to Native Europeans (migrated to larger continents or not), Arabs and Indians.
"Negroid" refers to black people from Sub-saharan Africa.
"Mongoloid" refers to the majority of people. Geographically they span from Mid-Asia to East Asia, as well as including Native Americans.
"Aboriginal" refers simply to Aborigines, and also some people from Southern India.

And there you have it. Nice learning experience, eh?

Off-topic posts should go to Mordor. :p

[Lathriel]

Off-topic posts should go to Mordor.

And with that many Barrowdowners (me included) are forced to spent a month in Mordor in bootcamp! NOOOOOOOO!!!! :rolleyes:

[littlemanpoet]

I thought there was a non-worded agreement to keep this thread light-hearted and non-political.

Yes, I've noticed that too. I don't mind it, but I don't want it to prohibit that which is worth saying.

In any case, I doubt anybody would disagree with you, lmp, though perhaps the generalisation of "All Terrorists" would please people a little better.

No, actually, the religious fundamentalist version of terrorist is even more scarey than the simply greedy or power hungry, in that the former actually believe in their own rectitude, and thus they stop at nothing whereas the latter, akin to werewolves, know they're doing something criminal and hedge their bets for the sake of survival and return on "investment".

[Lalwendë]

Although I speak English the way that it should be spoken - without a hint of an accent

Oooh, fighting talk! Of course, all ways of speaking English are accents you know. There is no 'correct' way, unless you are talking about Lancastrian English which is of course, an ancient, unsullied dialect rich with tone and meaning. :p

[Amanaduial the archer]

Boredom, quite simply. Like, the total boredom where you somehow can't even motivate yourself to do...anything. Yet doing nothing is quite surely going to drive you insane. So everything becomes a chore, and you'd somehow just rather sit there browsing nothing on the internet without any real interest rather than do something....productive.

...and yes, I am on my holidays. Verily, boredom is an enemy I am getting to know very well :p


And also, of course, the official font of Mordor: Comic Sans. Can you imagine arriving at Mordor and seeing the huge, fiery sign cheerfully informing you in those infuriatingly bubbly letters 'Welcome to Mordor!'. *Shudders* Like being licked to death by a puppy...or a siamese cat for that matter....

[Holbytlass]

Portugese-men-of-war
These bad boys scare the heck out of me. I didn't know about them till the 10th grade. My teacher tells me about them and how to identify them then that summer and for years after I would see them at the beach.
They are wicked jelly fish but their bulbous bodies are blue and they float on top of the water to come and get you!!

[the guy who be short]

Stupid names, like "Jellyfish". You'd expect one to look fish-shaped and be made of Jelly.

And also, "Portugese-Men-of-War." You'd expect them to look like men.
Actually, that name could be offensive to the Portugese. And to Men. :eek: Henceforth, they should be called "West-Iberian-People-of-War." ;)

Wait... does this all come under language?

*vanishes to Mordor in a puff*

[VanimaEdhel]

I have never yet been confronted for asking for a black coffee.

TGWBS: May I have a black coffee please?
Vendor: Excuse me! Are you insinuating that my coffee is racially inferior to other types?! Get out, foul Dwimmerlaik!

:rolleyes: Nope, don't see that ever happening. You must live in a really weird and scary place. :eek:

You know, if I were called a Dwimmerlaik in the course of an average conversation, I just might faint.

Actually, the problem is that everyone here in the U.S. now wants to be called a Something-American. If you want to generalize, though, you can't get that - well - specific. If we were to call me a politically correct hyphenated name, I would be a Russian-German-Syrian-Austrian-Polish-Swedish-French-Dutch-American. That doesn't exactly just roll off the tongue. I don't mind being called "white" - call me white, I don't mind. If you want to call me "of European and Middle Eastern descent", go for it. I'm really not that picky.

[Amanaduial the archer]

There's PC-ness...and then there's taking it too far. Call me white, call me black, call me bloody rainbow-coloured (I defy you with my English spelling!) - I really don't mind. When people dance around it and get twitchy when the words black or white are mentioned, insistently referring to people as 'dark skinned'...well, it just seems silly. I do believe there needs to be a line - but at this moment, society seems to be so far past that line that the line...the line is a dot.

TGWBS - calm down, everyone is allowed to make their own point and sure, there are lots of things about language that different people may object to or even, dare I say it, like language. *gasps* It's like saying that if one person decreed that men should be sent to Mordor - does this mean that no one else can mention any specific male or male trait that should be sent? (Purely hypothetical situation, of course...)

(although I would love it if I could say the word theater as you Brits do) Ah, but then there are some brits who delight in saying it differently. See, the word 'theatre' is rather difficult to spell phonetically as Brits would say it (theer-ter maybe?), but my drama teacher always insisted on saying it 'thee-ah-ter'. Argh! It's that way that thespians often have, to put their own melodramatic, theatrical spin on a word that was really perfectly fine how it was. It just lends such a pretentious air to the word...

*Sigh* And now I'm getting heated about a word. Something wrong here... :rolleyes:

[littlemanpoet]

Since Aman could not quite bring herself to do it, I will do it for her: pretentious pronunciations are hereby assigned to Mordor. If an rpg ever takes form, I will have a gas and a half over this one. :D

[Lalwendë]

Since Aman could not quite bring herself to do it, I will do it for her: pretentious pronunciations are hereby assigned to Mordor.

I'll second that. And make sure that the following are included: pretentious pronunciations of foreign language words and phrases. I mean those delivered with a particularly heavy, comedic French/Italian/Spanish 'accent' which the speaker so clearly belives is the correct and cultured thing to do. Alas it reminds you of sitcoms like 'Allo 'Allo. Richard Madeley, greasy UK daytime TV presenter is particularly guilty of this one.

[Amanaduial the archer]

Ooh er, an RPG from lmp? I wait with baited breath...:)Since Aman could not quite bring herself to do it, I will do it for her: pretentious pronunciations are hereby assigned to Mordor. If an rpg ever takes form, I will have a gas and a half over this one. :D

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

To tag on to pretentious pronunciation... pretentious use of silent letters.

My old history teacher had a silent "t" in his name. I mean... who has a silent "t"? Silent vowels are forgivable, but when you enter the domain of not pronouncing a very obvious consonant... that's just too much.

[Holbytlass]

pretentious pronunciations of foreign language words and phrases. I mean those delivered with a particularly heavy, comedic French/Italian/Spanish 'accent' which the speaker so clearly belives is the correct and cultured thing to do.

*chuckles* I second this. A couple nights ago I ate at The Olive Garden, for those who don't know it's a "fancy" ( envision the hand signal) italian restaurant where the the menu headings and items are in Italian. It had me stumped because I wasn't sure if I should say 'Ravioli de Portobello' or just Portobello Ravioli. Maybe I should have gone to my southern hick roots and said, 'heeyuckheeyuck i wants sum fungus stuffed pillows, pulees!'


And the sitcom, Seinfeld , where George's girlfriend who said paper mache as papia mashia.

[littlemanpoet]

To tag on to pretentious pronunciation... pretentious use of silent letters.

My old history teacher had a silent "t" in his name. I mean... who has a silent "t"? Silent vowels are forgivable, but when you enter the domain of not pronouncing a very obvious consonant... that's just too much.

You have run headlong into the history of language. Names, especially place-names, are especially notorious for containing letters that once were, but are no longer, pronounced. This is nobody's fault, but it is the fault of the human language apparatus, namely, the tongue. The human tongue is basically a lazy thing, and insists on finding the easiest way around the words it wants to "spit out". Thus, through, for example, is no longer said with an asperated (as in clearing one's throat) "gh"; so now the letters are "silent". So if to Mordor such silent letters go, so does the history of language itself, and the human tongue to boot! (eewww!) Just imagine all over Mordor, human tongues hopping around, finding the easiest way to say words. :p :p :p

[Lalwendë]

You have run headlong into the history of language. Names, especially place-names, are especially notorious for containing letters that once were, but are no longer, pronounced.

I like names which are pronounced peculiarly. Some strange examples:

Towcester - Pron. toaster
Featherstonehaugh - Pron. fanshaw
Culzean - Pron. cullaine
and Oughtibridge which you can pronounce any of the following ways: owtybridge, ootybridge, oatybridge, ortybridge.

It does amuse me when people have a name that's a bit rude or funny and they pronounce it differently so as not to look daft though. Although for obvious reasons with this being a family forum an' all I can't repeat said names here. I say, be proud of your daft name! ;)

[Lathriel]

Mosquitos should be send to Mordor. The other day one got me right on my forehead! GRRR

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

I agree about mosquitoes, but I'd also like to ship out black flies and water that accidentally gets inhaled when you're messing around in the pool. Yeah... oops.

[Orominuialwen]

I would like to send the DMV (Department of Motor Vehicles) to Mordor. For anyone who has never experienced the horrors contained there, the DMV is a place where you are forced to take a number and wait for long periods of time, thus extending an errand which should have taken 45 minutes at the most into more than 1 1/2 hours (which is relatively short for the DMV), nearly making you late for someplace else you have to be. Plus, a whole lot of the people who work there are really grumpy.

[Elonve]

pimples and facial spots should be sent to mordor... :confused:
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[the guy who be short]

Excess phlegm.

I have nothing against phlegm when it does its job - in fact, I fully support it. Quite handy, really. However, when that phlegm multiplies and starts trying to escape the body through various facial orifices, the excess should surely be sent to Mordor.

By hindsight, I should probably have put some sort of warning before I wrote that. :p

[littlemanpoet]

Eeeeeeew! If ever if ever there's an rpg, just you watch out, Guy :D

Elonve's addition creates a pretty interesting possibility too. :)

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Excess phlegm.

I have nothing against phlegm when it does its job - in fact, I fully support it. Quite handy, really. However, when that phlegm multiplies and starts trying to escape the body through various facial orifices, the excess should surely be sent to Mordor.

By hindsight, I should probably have put some sort of warning before I wrote that. :p
I just got a big kick out of that, since I can sympathize. I'm going to bundle it all up and simply send allergies and all of their varied symptoms to Mordor. When you go outside and your eyes (due to allergies, and regardless of heavy black shades) scream at the sunlight saying "Let's just KILL Fea because it's fun"... it meant that I had a perfectly reasonable excuse to lay on my couch, in the air conditioning, eating Ben and Jerry's, and watching The Princess Diaries II. On second thought, maybe I'll keep my light sensitive eyes for times like those.

On a side note, TGWBS, have you read the latest Harry Potter? I believe one of the chapters is called An Excess of Phlegm. Just found that ironic.... And LMP, we really should get an RP going on that. Can you only imagine?

Oh... migraines. Migraines go to Mordor.

[the guy who be short]

I've already sent all illness to Mordor, but I'm experiencing excess phlegm at the moment. And I can sympathise with sending allergies to Mordor - I've had allergic conjunctivitis for almost a year now. :(

I just bought the new H-P book and haven't looked through it. How cool. :D

*TGWBS tries to think of something on topic*

Um... the lack of that RPG should be sent to Mordor! Even though I don't RPG... Presuming RPG can be used as a verb...

*TGWBS once again tries to get on topic*

When you really like a thread but can't think of anything to say! To Mordor!

[littlemanpoet]

The rpg request is in process. I will not and cannot say more, because I don't really know any more than that. If it doesn't work out, I'll be bummed but there's always werewolf. :D

Oh, and getting lynched on the first Day of Werewolf can go to Mordor, right, Eomer? Kath? I can't <ahem> personally relate, but I do sympathize. <ahem> :p

[Kath]

Oh, and getting lynched on the first Day of Werewolf can go to Mordor, right, Eomer? Kath?

Absolutely agreed. And on that note I would like to send the role of Ranger to Mordor as when not in that role I do OK!

[Encaitare]

Adware, and pop-up ads, and all those nasty things that don't belong on my computer. Go away!

I'd like to send all errant pronunciations of the name "Bach" to Mordor. Some people say the ch as a k, others as that little back-of-the-throat noise (no idea what to call it, but you get the idea, I hope), and a few leave it off entirely and, like a sheep, say "Baa". So I say we pick one and be done with it. ;)

[littlemanpoet]

I assign the bad email software that messed up my computer, resisted scans, and finally caused my home computer to crash. Take that, Thunderbird! :mad:

[Kath]

I would like to assign geography teachers to Mordor. Especially ones who decide that in the last 2 weeks of term they are going to set you 6 pieces of work between two of them, each of which had to be at least 3 pages long (and one 25 page thing too!). So I think they should go to Mordor and be forced to do it all!

[Lhunardawen]

I'm sorry Kath, but I would not even think of sending my Geography prof to Mordor. He thinks checking exam papers is a lot of work so he does not give much exams. It is fairly easy to get a high final grade in his class...at least he makes us believe so. But he is a bit boring, so I'll have to think about that.

(There. My study ethics laid bare for everyone to see. :rolleyes: )

Have you ever had the feeling that you really want to reply to a certain thread but can't seem to properly organize your thoughts, especially in the Books? I send that to Mordor.

[Elonve]

If i may say so i would like to send Pineapple and MSG to Mordor...

pineapple because i am allergic !
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[Feanor of the Peredhil]

I banish now and forever more to Mordor...

Rumor-mongering.

Sure I love to be the center of attention, but I prefer it for things that I've actualy done.

Also criticism. I love criticism, but I much prefer it when it is to me, not about me. If you've got a problem with me or my work, tell me. Don't refer to me with expletives to my mother! Yeah... who does that?

And, yet again to Mordor, sun burn. What is it with me forgetting sunblock?!

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Is it true about Sauron? That he's crashing at Isengard for the moment because Mordor sucks so badly! :p

By the way lmp, that tongue thing was hilarious! Maybe the tongues have been sent to do battle with Sauron's finger and it's army. :D I would love to see that.

[Lathriel]

I just read HP (finished it too) and there is indeed a chapter called an Excess of Phlegm. Its very funny when you learn who phlegm is.

Flies should be sent to Mordor. And I think Sauron should go back there too. He is not allowed to crash in Isengard because Isengard is too good for him.

[Orominuialwen]

I would like to send the use of adjectives in place of adverbs. I'm so sick of hearing/ reading this. It especially bugs me in things like radio/TV commercials, where the script really should have been proofread better.

[Encaitare]

And misused homophones should go two Mordor; their so annoying! I was so miffed to find won in the knew HP book -- I wish people would pay more attention too what they right!

:rolleyes:

[THE Ka]

Okay, this happend today, so it will immediately be assigned...

Slipping on garbage left by others in streets... Please people, pick up your old food! It can be made into compost, thus making pretty, pretty plants that might or, might not smell as bad as your waste!

Sorry, it took place today, and then I thought about this wonderful thread devouted to such things in case they do happen.

~ Ka

[Dimturiel]

What do I assign to Mordor? First of all my French theacher. She is really EVIL-actually we call here Sauron's wife - and she's ignorant as well. Once we had an essay about a famous person and I wrote about Tolkien, of course ;). And she asked me where on earth did I get that being from( her exact words). I felt like slapping her. I also assign to Mordor all those girls that claim to be LOTR fans just because of Legolas. I had one in my house yesterday and I got tired of her saying that Legolas is the most important person in LOTR just because he is the cutest. :rolleyes:

[littlemanpoet]

Slipping on garbage left by others in streets... Please people, pick up your old food! It can be made into compost, thus making pretty, pretty plants that might or, might not smell as bad as your waste!

I ran over a liquor bottle which busted under my tire and slashed it. Grrrr. To Mordor with litter! And litterbugs.

What a mess Mordor is turning into....... :D

[the guy who be short]

What a mess Mordor is turning into....... :DHas anybody noticed that the more disgusting and foul a place we turn Mordor into, the happier LMP seems to get? Odd, no...? You'd think there was some conspiracy afoot...

Speaking of which, ridiculous conspiracy theorists should go to Mordor, as should their ridiculous conspiracy theories. :rolleyes:

[littlemanpoet]

Of course I'm happy! I've received provisional approval to start up the "Assigned To Mordor" rpg, at some not too distant, not too soon, time in the (relatively near) future. There, enough chronological qualifications for you? It's going to have to wait until a few other things are taken care of, like a werewolf game, and a rather slowly developing Numenor game, ... not to mention a trip to England in September, so don't hold your breath. We're gonna do this right! :)

[THE Ka]

Has anybody noticed that the more disgusting and foul a place we turn Mordor into, the happier LMP seems to get? Odd, no...? You'd think there was some conspiracy afoot...

Speaking of which, ridiculous conspiracy theorists should go to Mordor, as should their ridiculous conspiracy theories. :rolleyes:


I think Little Man Poet is just happy to see Mordor reaching it's fullest capabilities... And with everything going into it, I would not be surprised if it resembled a modern-day garbage dump of both physical and mental attributes.

Now I feel like an ultra-consumer, agghh... :(


~ Ka

[Bêthberry]

I ran over a liquor bottle which busted under my tire and slashed it. Grrrr. To Mordor with litter! And litterbugs.



To Mordor those who spill such draughts, wantonly! ;)

[Lhunardawen]

Of course I'm happy! I've received provisional approval to start up the "Assigned To Mordor" rpg, at some not too distant, not too soon, time in the (relatively near) future. There, enough chronological qualifications for you? It's going to have to wait until a few other things are taken care of, like a werewolf game, and a rather slowly developing Numenor game, ... not to mention a trip to England in September, so don't hold your breath. We're gonna do this right! How naive of me. All along I thought the whole RPG thing was a joke.

EDIT: Please don't volunteer yourselves to play. I'm going to PM various individuals who I think will help me develop a really enjoyable first run, and not until I'm ready to. Of course, our beloved Saucepan Man should not be left out; after all, he himself is now firmly ensconced in Mordor, as he said.

Now, now, what to send to Mordor...

Those nagging thoughts that seem too irrelevant at the moment, but afterwards you will realize you should have listened to. *mournful sigh*

[Alphaelin]

Bullies should absolutely be sent to Mordor, along with lima beans and most bugs.

And rabbits!!! They are the most evil breed of mammal known to humanity, hobbitry and elfdom...devouring entire flower gardens overnight...killing shrubs with their incessant gnawing. The evil evil bunnies should all be sent to Mordor!

**stops to ponder**

Actually, considering the miniscule amount of healthy plant growth in Mordor, it seems that the Evil Bunnies have already overrun the place.

[Elonve]

Quadratic Function ! erk! everything but add,subtract,multiply,divide should be sent to mordor.... :(
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[the guy who be short]

But without complex mathematics, we wouldn't have fast planes or cars! And engineering, and life insurance! And architecture! And...

Teachers who don't make maths interesting and explain it properly should go to Mordor instead.

~The Guy Who Be A Maths Freakoid

[Bêthberry]

How naive of me. All along I thought the whole RPG thing was a joke.



Nope, lmp is purdy gungho about it. He asked me about putting it in Rohan, but I suggested that, since most of the people who have posted here don't have Rohan gaming rights, perhaps he should approach the Shire mods. We'll have to bide our time and see what comes up. :D

[Firefoot]

I ban sports physicals to Mordor - $40 dollars (or more!) for 10 minutes of a doctor's time to say I'm healthy. And while it only takes 10 minutes of a doctor's time, it takes an hour and a half of my time.

And people who give away spoilers to books and movies without warning you. It's happened to me on both the 5th and 6th HP books. I haven't even read the 6th and I already know who the Half-blood Prince is. Grr...

[Encaitare]

I haven't even read the 6th and I already know who the Half-blood Prince is. Grr...

It's really not that big of a deal -- there are worse spoilers that could be leaked...

I therefore condemn to Mordor unnecessary aspects of plot! (the esteemed Mr. Bombadil excluded, of course :p )

[the guy who be short]

Oh, and Balrog Wingers should go straight to Mordor for perverting Truth with their lies, of course... ;)

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Psychics. They should go to Mordor.

Not the harmless old fraud kind, but the good ones. The ones that say or do things entirely unexplainable and make die-hard cynics such as Feanor of the Peredhil question her beliefs. The ones that know the names of the guys she's about to say before she says them. The ones that make a pair of sunglasses flop around on a floor like a fish out of water. The ones that scare the living [expletive deleted] out of said die-hard cynics.

Also to go to Mordor are college placement tests. Sure they were obscenely easy and all, but stressful nonetheless, especially first thing in the morning after you were up until 2:00 AM talking to your temporary room-mate and new friend about the actions and reactions of Severus Snape (and how Rickman is such a great pick for him), Albus Dumbledore (who's new portrayer seems a little nuttier than the old), Draco Malfoy (who's too cute in the movie to hate as much as you do in the books), Ron and Hermione (who don't we all just love?) and Harry (and his love life).

And last but n'er least, off to Mordor with having to wait until LMP says so to watch that madly fun sounding RP unfold.

[Amanaduial the archer]

The ones that know the names of the guys she's about to say before she says them. The ones that make a pair of sunglasses flop around on a floor like a fish out of water. Ok, the first I can do, easy - people find it vaguely disturbing when I know what they're gonna say but hey, maybe I just have predictable acquaintances. But the second...all I can say is that I am staying the heck away from wherever you've been seeing these psychics!

As for the tangent in paragraph two (my apologies for making that sound so...impersonal and formal; sometimes one must abandon informality in place of a few precise words that thereby prevent the use of several lines of waffle, often with the additional use of semi-colons and, naturally, obscene quantities of commas. Hmm.)....well, what can I say? Everything she said. ;) Reading the new Harry Potter book, I've simply had to seperate film-Draco from book-Draco (the latter being pronounced dr-ah-co, rather than dray-co) - 'cos come on, film Draco? How's he gonna stamp someone's nose! The boy has dimples, dammit! I rest my case. :D

[the guy who be short]

Those infernal elastic bands in braces that are constantly snapping, often inconspicuously to be later ingested. I must get through about 6 a day, at least one of which is eaten. Oh, and chewing becomes a complex exercise which requires a lot of mental skill to prevent the snapping of said bands.

*Shakes fist in the general direction of minute elastic band manufacturers*

[Lalwendë]

Reading the new Harry Potter book, I've simply had to seperate film-Draco from book-Draco (the latter being pronounced dr-ah-co, rather than dray-co) - 'cos come on, film Draco? How's he gonna stamp someone's nose! The boy has dimples, dammit! I rest my case.

Draco Malfoy (who's too cute in the movie to hate as much as you do in the books)

I want to send to Mordor whoever decided to make Lucius Malfoy so attractive in the films - I'm supposed to hate him but I just love it when he swishes that cape in an off-handed fashion. :p

Also for Mordor are the drivers who last week decided to drive through a flood at top speed giving me three head-to-toe soakings with vile drain water. I even swallowed some. :(

[solarisa]

wha?!!! whats siamese cats got to do with mordor??!!! ...

:confused:

[solarisa]

suggestion: diarrea??!!and constipation-those go and stay in mordor-right??!!
*hehe or do some people actually...enjoy them :p
and "kotex fits. period" thats goin to morder...
aiyaaa!!! so many problems wish you could just dump em in mordor!!! =__=

[Amanaduial the archer]

Kotex fits?

I just love it when he swishes that cape in an off-handed fashion *sigh* Yes. Yes, it's all in the cape...*sigh*

Speed cameras. Somehow the speed camera on one stretch of road have caught my mum three times in the past two months when she was going - wait for it - 5 mph over the speed limit...and yet there are none on the stretch of road by my house where the ma-a-any SUVs just speed on down at record speeds. Hmm, maybe the distributors of speed cameras then...*strokes chin, it being the appropriately thoughtful thing to do*

Also the word 'cope'. There's just something about it, the way there's that little pop at the end that is always so out of context. "Is there anything I can do to help you now you and your wife are [state tragic position]?" "Oh, well, you know, we'll....we'll cope-PUH!" That pop, that word...ugh. To Mordor!

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Howsabout...

Allergies. When you are required to shift chairs every time the wind changes course to avoid a face full of cigarette smoke (eew). And when the wind changes and the smoke from the bonfire makes you fall over coughing. And when you wake up in the middle of the night and can't breath through your nose because you're sleeping in the middle of the woods (well, the outskirts) in a pine cabin with pine furniture and pine decorations...

Or acute paranoia. "We're on the edge of the statelands that there's a mountain lion hanging out in. Let's walk the 1/2 mile uphill to the cabin at midnight alone." Oh god, were those eyes!?!?

Or skinned knees. I know they aren't so bad, but when you're trying to show off and your success is lessened by the fact that you forgot that pavement hurts to slide on, the newly acquired raw spots on foot, ankle, and knee serve as neat reminders that you're not the sharpest tool in the shed.

[Dimturiel]

I send headaches straight to Mordor. And I also send nights when there is a full moon because I cannot sleep then. It is no fun at all to stay awake in the dark when all the other beings in the house and outside it are fast asleep. I hate these kind of nights and I stay up untill four in the morning and make up poems because there is nothing else I can do. Last time I made one called "Lullaby". A bit ironic, isn't it?

[the guy who be short]

And I also send nights when there is a full moon because I cannot sleep then.:eek: Have you heard of the Werewolf Games, perchance...? You should pop round...

[Dimturiel]

No thanks. I am not a werewolf. If I were, I woukd just go outside, transform myself and return home in the morning after a very exciting night, instead of lying in my bed inventing poems and talking to my Aragorn poster.