Qs and As for TLOTR but I only want WRONG answers

[TolkienGurl]

LOL, Birdland! You have a great imagination!

http://smilies.networkessence.net/contrib/fk/sunny.gif

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

I second that, Birdland, although I sense the distinct flavour of real life creeping in there. No such danger for the Arda Nerds, eh?

Why did the King of the Ringwraiths stab Frodo?

You would too if he'd made that remark about your mother.

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Whence came the Corsairs?

[Marileangorifurnimaluim]

From Gillette. They have a new quintiple-bladed action, for a smoother, closer shave. Designed especially for dwarves.

Since among dwarves shaving is considered something of a fetish, those use them are shunned. Just like hobbits shun those who wear shoes.

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What is Michel Delving?

Quite so, Squatter - Michael Delving.

[ October 27, 2002: Message edited by: Marileangorifurnimaluim ]

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

I think you mean Michael Delving, which was one of Tolkien's early ideas for the name of the character who later became Sam.

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Whence had Éomer and his men just come when they met Aragorn, Gimli and Legolas.

[ October 21, 2002: Message edited by: Squatter of Amon Rudh ]

[HerenIstarion]

they all have been to sauna alongside with their horses

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who on earth is Erech and what's the stone of his?

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

Erech was the first Man to land on the Land of Gift. When he came ashore he tripped over a large stone that was sticking out of the sand, breaking his big toe. The incident gave rise to the Númenorean expression "stone of Erech", meaning an unseen difficulty that arises on the brink of success.

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What is the name of the inland sea within the borders of Mordor?

[HerenIstarion]

The sea of Nurnen. It's said Sauron was raised by 10 nuns, and being cruel and nasty boy, he drowned them all in the sea. Hence nuns ten --> Nunnen --> Nurnen


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What killed Smaug?

[ October 22, 2002: Message edited by: HerenIstarion ]

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

Food poisoning. He'd been too lazy to hunt that day, and had eaten an old jar of frankfurters that was a hundred years past its sell-by date.

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Who was Elrond's brother and what is his claim to fame?

[Estelyn Telcontar]

His name was Elrog; he was the first half-elven with half-wings!

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Where did Tom Bombadil meet his wife?

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

At the supermarket of course. They were both buying frozen pizzas.

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What places in Beleriand had Treebeard once frequented, according to his song?

[Estelyn Telcontar]

The lonely hearts bars, of course!

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How were Frodo and Sam rescued from Mt. Doom after the destruction of the Ring?

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

By chance they met a minicab driver, who happened to have been summoned to a pick-up at the Sammath Naur by a prankster. He gave them a lift as far as Ithilien for the very reasonable price of everything they were carrying. He left Sam the box that Galadriel had given him because, in his own words, "What sort of a berk wanders around carrying a box of dirt?"

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What is depicted on Théoden's banner?

[ October 21, 2002: Message edited by: Squatter of Amon Rudh ]

[Bêthberry]

Dalmation puppies.

What do ents sleep on?

Bb

[ October 21, 2002: Message edited by: Bethberry ]

[TolkienGurl]

piles of burning leaves smilies/eek.gif

What are the Elves widely known for?

[Eruhen]

Having a strange knack for being in the right place at the wrong time.

Who were the Dead Men of Dunharrow?

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

A popular group of minstrels, who specialised in a style that they called "Heavy Mithril".

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Where does the Anduin rise?

[HerenIstarion]

This kind of fish (anduinus aquamarinus urinus), more commonly known as simply Anduin (two species though - Red Anduin and Hairy Anduin), is inhabiting pools adn ponds in the subtropical regions. Better rise is expectable if a fisherman uses horned frogs as a bait.

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What kind of fella is supposed to wear yellow boots?

[ October 22, 2002: Message edited by: HerenIstarion ]

[Eruhen]

Sauron, he always had a yellow fetish. Why else was the Ring made of gold and not mithril or something?


Who was the last king of Gondor?

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

Admortemil the Terminally Leprous.

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What happened at the Gladden Fields?

[Estelyn Telcontar]

The Happy Thanksgiving Day Dance was performed by Morris dancers waving stalks of corn.

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What did Bilbo hand Gandalf at the end of 'The Hobbit'?

[hobbitlass]

Bilbo handed Gandalf his "burgler for hire" resignation papers.
************************************************** **************

What was Bilbo really paying off when he gave the Elvenking the necklace?

[TolkienGurl]

his rather expensive bar tab

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Why was Galadriel full of sorrow?

[HerenIstarion]

Her bonnie was over the ocean, in Valmar

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What is carrock?

[gralin musicteeth]

What happened when Pippin started driving lessons but could not reach the pedals smilies/frown.gif
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
what is Gandalf's brother's name?

[hobbitlass]

*no answer*

Gralin musicteeth- It took me a minute but I got it. AAAAAHAHAHAHHAHA! Too funny!

[Dagmar of Avalon]

Was that an answer? My answer is: Qwerty the chartruse. He's the 4th most powerful Istari.

````````````````````````````````````````````

OK, What made Legolas decide to be Gimli's friend in Lothlorien? smilies/eek.gif

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

He wanted to lull Gimli into a false sense of security so that he could steal a strand of Galadriel's hair from him. Legolas was hopelessly in love with her.

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What happened at the Field of Cormallen?

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Unfortunately, the original name of that field has changed throughout the centuries. It was called the Field of Choir Mellon in the First Age, and that is where the Elven Friends of Music Choir gave their open air concerts.

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What did the Troll's purse say when Bilbo tried to burglar it?

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

It said "No chance, old son. He's completely stony."

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Who was King in Erebor during the War of the Ring?

[HerenIstarion]

(in a n abstract soret of voice):

"To make a purse successful, transit should be part of the purse business, on order to give sufficient volume. Combining it with transport is something that will speed up to development of purse"


=================================


What for was there a trapdoor in Thranduil's cellar?

[HerenIstarion]

Sorry Squatter, I was distracted while "reply" window was already open. I haven't noticed your answer.

ok

It was someone by the name of Rebor. he was computer addicted, so the e-Rebor, which accidentally ended up in Erebor.


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Why there was a trapdoor is Thranduil's cellar?

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

Not to worry. Happens to the best of us.

So that he could go for naked midnight swims without being photographed by the gutter press.

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What was the disaster of the Gladden Fields?

[ October 24, 2002: Message edited by: Squatter of Amon Rudh ]

[Estelyn Telcontar]

The Thanksgiving Day celebration when the Morris dancers didn't show up.

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

What was Taniquetil?

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

Taniquetil was a small valley in Southern Mordor.

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Which nobleman of Rohan foolishly attempted to pass the Paths of the Dead and never returned?

[Birdland]

Garcian the DeadHead. He is now a roadie on perpetual tour and extremely grateful for the gig.

***************
Why did Legolas and Gimli share a horse?

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

Because they got peckish on the journey.

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What did Faramir see to convince him that his brother was dead?

[Aramacil]

The answer is simple, it was the body of his brother, floating by him when he was fishing in the river.

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How many rings where originally made?

[TolkienGurl]

There were originally 20 rings made for great kings of men who turned into 20 Nazgul, eleven of whom either drowned, got too drunk to move, or got lost along the way to find the Halflings. That's why there were only Nine in LOTR (see "Dude, Where's My Ring" for the full story. Its in the fanfiction section. HILARIOUS.) Then Sauron melted the rings of the eleven unfortunate Nazgul and made his own jewelry business, with the One Ring as a display item. (I made that last part up. Kinda lame. I know.)

- - - - - - - - -

Why did Sauron decide to wage war against the free peoples of Middle-earth?

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

He was drunk one night. He apologised later.

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Where in Middle-earth can Mithril be found?

[mark12_30]

You harvest it off of Mallorn trees in the spring. That's why the borders of Lorien are guarded by rabid Haldirs.

Why did Galadriel give the fellowship three boats?

[Childlike Empress]

In the clouds. The Dwarves have some trouuble mining it, believe you me.

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Why did Gandalf always wear a pointy hat?

[Childlike Empress]

Sorry mark 12_30, I didn't refresh soon enough I guess smilies/smile.gif

Galdriel only gave them three boats because, despite the prevalence of Mithril in their land, the Lorien Elves are really quite impoverished (the Dwarves make the Elves do the mining, you see, and hog all the profits) and three was all they could afford to spare.

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Why did Gandalf wear a hat? (please don't say "because he's bald"...that's boring)

[ October 24, 2002: Message edited by: Childlike Empress ]

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

What would you do if you had a tall, pointy head? That's why.

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What is the name of the large inland sea North of Mordor?

[ October 24, 2002: Message edited by: Squatter of Amon Rudh ]

[mark12_30]

Sauron's Spitoon.

****

Why do the big statues by Tol Brandir (name escapes me) face Northward?

[TolkienGurl]

What is the name of the large inland sea North of Mordor?

The Sea of Happiness. Sauron liked to go there and frolick through the large fields of daisies with the cute little bunnies during his free time.

Sorry. I couldn't help myself! Please continue with the following question made by mark 12_30:

Why do the big statues by Tol Brandir (name escapes me) face Northward?

[HerenIstarion]

They were made of magnet. Those statues were used by Elendil and his sailors as a compass on their sea journeys. When they settled down in Gondor, there was no more need for compasses, so statues were thrown away, but still pointed northward as any decent compass would do


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What was in the pot Bilbo had stolen from Smaug which cused so much of dwarves' excitement?

[Eruhen]

It was pot!!!!! The "bowl" was actually Thorin's old bong that he had since he was a rebellious teenager.

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What is Aman?

[hobbitlass]

Grown-up boy, opposite of Awoman.
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What else did Wormtongue have in his chest besides Theoden's sword?

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

Three changes of underwear, some questionable woodcuts and a bacon sandwich.

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What did Sauron call himself when dealing with the Smiths of Eregion?

[Catherine]

Pawget
~~~~~~~~~~~
Why was this his name?

[Elven Mistress]

Pawget stood for Person At Which Gets Eaten There

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Sticking with Pawget...
Where was "there"??

[Marileangorifurnimaluim]

Oh dear, let's not go there, girlfriend. smilies/eek.gif

On the left buttock. (Mosquitos are pretty bad this time of year.)

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What was Sam saying goodbye to in the cellar at Bag End?

[Childlike Empress]

His lucky rabbit's foot, which, gentle soul that he was, Sam had not separated from the rabbit.

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What does Ted Sandyman do in his off hours?

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

He cuts the legs off rabbits to make lucky rabbits' feet for the Isengard and Dunland export markets. smilies/wink.gif

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How and why did Bilbo avoid meeting Lobelia Sackville-Baggins?

[Birdland]

I never understood that myself, because everyone in the Shire said they would be perfect for each other, and Hobbiton is a small town.

But there it is; She'd be leaving The Green Dragon just as Bilbo was walking in. Or her dance card would already be full when Bilbo mangaged to arrive late (again) at the various functions that they both attended. And so, sadly, there never was an introduction.

If there had been, things would have been very different, let me tell you, what with Lobelia wearing the One Ring on her left hand. (sigh)

***********************************8

How is that Sam had never seen an Elf before?

[Gandalf_theGrey]

What stopped Sam from seeing Elves was that those durned oliphaunts were always getting in the way.

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What's the real reason Gollum never ate cooked food?

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

Because Gollum, poor debased creature that he is, is the worst cook in the entire world. Raw fish intestines were simply better than his cooking.

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What song is it that Sam sings on the way to Amon Sûl?

[Estelyn Telcontar]

It's "Yellow Submarine", because that's the only song of which all know the chorus and can sing along.

° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° °

What insulting name did Bilbo call the spiders in Mirkwood?

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

Well, obviously "splitters". They were all members of the Mirkwood Arachnids' Front, and not the Arachnids' Front of Mirkwood .

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Where and what is the Window on the West?

[ October 27, 2002: Message edited by: Squatter of Amon Rudh ]

[ October 27, 2002: Message edited by: Squatter of Amon Rudh ]

[TolkienGurl]

The Window on the West is, oddly enough, on the East side of the Hill. That's the window that Gandalf pulled Sam in through in 'The Shadow of the Past.'

Why did Sam decide to go with Frodo to Mordor?

[ October 27, 2002: Message edited by: TolkienGurl ]

[Rose, the youngest]

so that he could gather a bottle of white ash to take home and show Rosie!

Why would Gandalf pull his chin hairs into a pony-beard?

[ October 27, 2002: Message edited by: Rose, the youngest ]

[Childlike Empress]

Otherwise the static electricity makes it go everywhere. It gets into everything when it does that.

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Why didn't Sam get on the boat at the Grey Havens?

[gralin musicteeth]

because he had a very bad case of seasickness. (ok bad i know)
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why did Merry get all mad at the Lord of the Nine???

[TolkienGurl]

Because the Lord of the Nine stole his favorite stuffed animal - a pink bunny. smilies/eek.gif


What did Durin's folk awake in the depths of Khazad-dum?

[Eruhen]

A very, very, VERY, cranky Galadriel. She had been taking her beauty sleep and she was very angry at being awakened. Her hair spray accidently got set on fire by an Orc, and that's why the Fellowship thought they were being pursued by a Balrog.

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Who was "Sharky"?

[ October 28, 2002: Message edited by: Eruhen ]

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

I notice that someone else got in there first, which will teach me to be so long-winded. I hope that you'll forgive my posting my answer anyway, since I quite liked it.

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In Tolkien's only recorded foray into Lovecraftian fan-fiction, their excavations were guided by Nyarlathotep into awakening Cthulhu himself. Initially the Old One helped the Dwarves of Moria (albeit unintentionally) by eating the Balrog, whose protection racket was bleeding their Mithril stocks dry; but ultimately he will destroy the world. Until then, as the Watcher in the Water, he sleeps and waits for some fool to wake him.
Later study of the Book of Mazarbul revealed the telling couplet
That is not dead which can eternal lie
And in strange aeons even death may die.

Either that or it was Elvis. smilies/wink.gif

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"Sharkey" was a semi-mythical being, who was rumoured to lurk in the background of any conversation, occasionally removing the impolite and foolish from existence.

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What sort of dwelling is favoured by Ents?

[ October 28, 2002: Message edited by: Squatter of Amon Rudh ]

[Birdland]

Termite mounds. And that's why you never see an Ent to this very day.

Big, but stupid, those Ents.

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Why did Rosie wait for Sam?

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

She didn't want to: she was as afraid of being left on the shelf as any Hobbit-lass, it's just that the wooden leg, glass eye and facial warts tended to put off a lot of men. Sam could see through that to the fact that she had good child-bearing hips and was a better cook than he. smilies/wink.gif

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Who was the first Elf encountered by the Fellowship as they entered Lothlórien?

[Birdland]

It was Gil the Bouncer. Tough nut to crack, that Gil. First he accused the hobbits of having bogus I.D. Then Legolas kept saying "check the guest list again" while trying to read the names over his shoulder. And none of them were really dressed right for Lothlorien, anyway.

But eventually Aragorn just slipped him a fistful of silver pennies, which got their hands stamped, and they were in the door.

But the band sucked, and it was too early for anything to be really happening, so they headed back over to Moria to see if if they could catch up with Gandalf again.

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What was a "proper 1420"?

[ October 28, 2002: Message edited by: Birdland ]

[Rimbaud]

A 14-20 was, of course, the Hobbit version of the popular 18-30 Holiday Packages available from any disreputable travel agency. Typically, an appropriately aged group of young Stoors, Harfoots or Fallohides, would journey to Rivendell or Lothlorien, under the auspices of some older Hobbit mentors (as old as 30!). There they would sample the delights of miruvor in great quantities, vomit copiously and talk a great deal about procreation.

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How did the Elves forge weaponry and armour in their beautful wooded abodes, without the risk of fire and the noise/smell/effects of pollution?

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

They were using the Mary-Sue Industries Type #520 smokeless, heatless forge: all the back-to-basics genuine craftsmanship of a real blacksmith's forge, but it doesn't soil one's delicate samite sleeves. Indeed the user exits smelling of apple blossom due to the AromaTech (TM) air-freshening device, which is an optional extra that no Elf would be without.

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What were the social, political and economic effects of Sauron's downfall in the 100 years following the War of the Ring?

[Birdland]

Mr. Squatter! Is this - like - a multiple choice question?

Essay? What it's count towards our final grade? That much?

OK, social, political, and economic effects of the fall of Sauron...Well, they got a king out of the deal. That was pretty sweet. And people were traveling around a lot more, what with the Orcs kinda dying off and all, so you had a lot more trade and tourism, which meant that everyone was spending money and buying on credit. So the economy was really jumping.

Socially it was kinda a bummer, cause the Elves were all leaving and they always threw the best parties. But that left plenty of room for Men to move into the neighborhoods that the Elves left behind, so everyone was buying these flets and Baranduin riverside condos at fire sale prices, so socially everyone was pretty happy, even without the Elves, (except the popular music was pretty lame, so most people just preferred to listen to Elven "oldies")

Anyway, the first 100 years after Sauron was wacked were pretty good. But then the Second Great Plague of F.A. 110 struck. After that everything pretty much sucked again.

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Did the One Ring really like Frodo, or was it just stringing him along?

[Marileangorifurnimaluim]

Well, Frodo was really cute y'know, but so SERIOUS? M'god, what a wet blanket. But heck, I was on the rebound after being dumped by Bilbo of all people! WELL, I shoulda left that geezer a long time before that, so there, but stability, a comfortable life.. you know how it gets. *blows bubble and pops it.* Now Sam was really sweet, it's too bad you couldn't have Frodo's looks with Sam's personality, eh? But still the Nazgul were so COOL, and then there was Gollum which, you know, we'd been together so long, but... been there, done that... anyhow, Isildur was a great fling, but not really my type, too rough, so I had to dump him of course, but when I met Boromir he kinda reminded me - ? So I guess I had some regrets about that. But I'm kinda glad I didn't get taken up with him, we all know how THAT would'a ended. But Sauron... Sauron... sigh... you know, it's the bad boys you can never forget, right?

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What did Sam dream of in Tom Bombadil's house?

[ October 29, 2002: Message edited by: Marileangorifurnimaluim ]

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

That he won victory in battle, crushed his enemies and heard the lamentation of their women. World domination in its most brutal and primitive form.

He was something of a dark horse behind that solid rustic façade, was Master Samwise.

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Why was it that the Barad Dûr collapsed when the Ring was destroyed?

[Nevfeniel]

Termites. The fact that Barad Dûr collapsed at the same time as the destroying of the ring is purely coincidental.
..::Why didn't Gandalf want Legolas to go see the ents after the battle at Helm's Deep?::..

[HerenIstarion]

Gandalf thought he was still too young to watch automn leafstrip-tease shows yet

==============================

Why did Frodo sell Bag-End?

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

Because that rascal Will Whitfoot had Bilbo declared legally dead. The death-duties were crippling, so Frodo had to sell the place to Shire Heritage to cover them.

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From which race did the Mouth of Sauron spring?

[Tharkûn]

from the Triathalon.

~~~~~~~~~~

What do orcs do in their spare time?


Tharkûn

[Eruhen]

Sit in front of their cozy fires, sipping Chardonnay in their evening clothes, discussing the mysteries of Middle-Earth and Aman.

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Why did Mount Doom erupt when the Ring was destroyed?

[Diamond18]

Gollum gave it a seriously bad case of indigestion.

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What was the real reason Legolas didn't translate the Lament for Gandalf, and what were the lyrics, anyway????

[Orual]

Question one: Because Legolas couldn't understand it.

Question two: "I know that you're leaving/You must have your reasons/The season is calling/Your pictures are falling down..."
_____________________________

Where did Aragorn go before the Nazgul attacked on Weathertop?

~*~Orual~*~

**By the way, the lyrics are from "D@mmit (Growing up)" by blink-182.**

[Elenna]

To take a pee.

Why did Galadriel give Boromir a belt?

[Nevfeniel]

Because Boromir was going through a punk phase and wore really baggy pants, of which Galadriel did not approve. She was giving him a not-so-subtle hint.
..::Why did Thorin want the Arkenstone so badly?::..

[NazgulNumberTen]

it was all he could think of after seeing this...
http://forum.wormbaby.com/avatar.php?userid=2548&dateline=1036023706
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which of the dwarves is in that picture?

[Marileangorifurnimaluim]

Sneezy obviously, but that's not his best side.

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What is Deadman's Dike?

[Diamond18]

Deadman's Dike is one of the places where Calvin and Hobbes like to sled.

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How do Ents feel about Orcs?

[ October 30, 2002: Message edited by: Diamond18 ]

[Birdland]

Well, first you have to wait until the Orcs are asleep...

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Why was Fatty Bolger crying "No, no, no! Not me! I haven't got it!"?

[Marileangorifurnimaluim]

Fatty had bad gambling debts from betting on the pony races at the Brandywine track. He had fallen behind on his payments to 'Nick the Nose', despite the valuables he'd nicked from Brandy Hall and Frodo's stuff from Bag End.

He was terribly relieved to learn it was just Black Riders after Frodo, and gladly pointed them on their way.

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What else did Gandalf find in the dusty Library under Minas Tirith?

[ October 31, 2002: Message edited by: Marileangorifurnimaluim ]

[Birdland]

He found a Mary-Sue Industries Type X-1000 Whole Citadel vacuum system, that's what! Unfortunately, it wasn't working; the owner's manual having been lost through the ages. That explained all the dust, ya know.

But after some careful research by Gandalf, a penny in the fuse box soon put things to right, and the White City once again lived up to its name.

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Why did Sam interrupt the discussion between Frodo and Faramir?

[HerenIstarion]

He was trying hard to enjoy watching his favorite show on portable TV he was carrying inside his cooking gear - Cook Your Master With Roots, and they were distracting his attention


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How did Gandalf know Bilbo had some cold chicken in his cellar?

[Estelyn Telcontar]

He could smell it; unfortunately, the cellar wasn't that cold, and the chicken had been there for several days...

° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° °

What did Gwaihir answer when Gandalf asked him to carry him one more time?

[HerenIstarion]

he was grinning and saying something along the lines of:

gocha dude! you like me taxi service, don't ya? just pay, dude, me can take ya anywhere. How far d'ya say ya wanna go? Lorien? that's gonna be 50$, ya know.


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Why on earth was Bard taking a walk by night and in such a cold weather, if he were a decent chap?

[ October 31, 2002: Message edited by: HerenIstarion ]

[Diamond18]

Well, you see, he had an older brother who had been gone for quite some time, and he was kinda hoping to see a funeral boat float up from Mirkwood at any moment.

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Who is Elbereth Gilthoniel?

[Birdland]

Elbereth Gilthoniel was the first governor of the Shire, campaigning with the slogan "From Bree to the Sea with El.B.G."! (which really made no sense at all, but was extremely catchy).

He served one term, and his wife, Lady Bug, was responsible for the popular "Beautify the Shire" campaign, eliminating the billboards on the Greenway and putting a stop to uncontrolled burrowing.

El.B.G political career was ruined when he was caught picking up his children by their ears.

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As Frodo was sailing away from the Havens, what did Sam see him hold up?

[ October 31, 2002: Message edited by: Birdland ]

[Diamond18]

Argyle socks!!!!! Three pairs in assorted sizes and colors, that is. It was to remind Sam that someday he too would make the journey, and then the three Hobbits, Frodo, Bilbo and Sam, would all be wearing argyle socks together.

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What is Bree called in Elvish?

[TolkienGurl]

Answer to Birdland's question:

Frodo's pants. You see, Frodo was getting rather along in age and was always forgetting something. This time it was his pants. No wonder why Galadriel was giggling uncontrollably during the trip to Valinor!


Answer to Diamond18's question:

Bree in Elvish, is translated as the Town of Stinky Men. I don't know Elvish!


My question:

What was the creature that lived in the lake before Moria Doors called, and what did it look like?

[ October 31, 2002: Message edited by: TolkienGurl ]

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

His name was Harold and he was a vole. Not a very good choice of guardian, but Orcs like voles for some reason. This is believed to be Ratty's last literary appearance before his drink problem finally sank his career.

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What significant loss to Arnor occurred at the Ice Bay of Forochel?

[ October 31, 2002: Message edited by: Squatter of Amon Rudh ]

[Diamond18]

TolkienGurl, I think that a very rough translation would be "Ost-in-holma-edain". (I am positive that I am totally wrong.)

In answer to Squatter's question, Arvedui lost his glasses and killed a shipmate, mistaking him for an Orc.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What did Frodo and Sam see in the Dead Marshes?

[Marileangorifurnimaluim]

532 beat-up VW Vans, dozens of drug dealers, and hundreds of people going topless wearing Patchouli. Oh, the corpsesss and candles - ? Riiiiight. Bad trip, man, really bad trip.

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Why did the Elven King of Mirkwood float barrels to the Long Lake?

[HerenIstarion]

After the long ages of living inside single cave, it became somehow stuck up to the top with garbage. There was simply no more room left, therefore Thranfuil ordered the trapdoor to be made in his sellar. His cave cleaned up a bit, though he got very huge problem with the Esgaroth Green Peace protestants afterwords


====================================

Who was Fredegar "Fatty" Bolger?

[Eruhen]

He was the sixth Istar. He came to ME in the shape of a hobbit, not a Man, kind of incognito so Sauron wouldn't suspect anything. He was the one who convinced Frodo to destroy the Ring. Gandalf got jealous and contrived an 'accident' so that he could get all the credit.

What was Isildur's Bane?

[Diamond18]

Actually, the correct term is "Isildur's bangs". His hair was always getting into his eyes and driving him crazy, and since he was so famous, any bad hair-do was called "Isildur's Bangs". Over the years the term wore down to "Isildur's Bane" and the original meaning was lost.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What famous book did Pippin write after returning from the War of the Ring?

[Gandalf_theGrey]

Peregrin Took wrote the bestselling

"Wherever You Go in Middle Earth, Adventure is Just a Stone's Throw Away."

This book renders an account of such ignominious events as tossing stones down Moria's well, the borrowing of a palantír, and how Pippin dealt with finding himself between a rock and a hard place throughout it all.

??????????????????????????????????????????

Name as many different flights of stairs as you can, and their significance.

Gandalf the Grey

[Birdland]

Well, there's "Up the Down Staircase", which made a star of Sandy Dennis and made buck teeth sexy. Then there's "Stairway to Heaven", the favorite song of DJ's needing a bathroom break. Of course, who can forget Dorothy McQuire in "The Spiral Staircase"! Oooooh boy! Was that a scary movie! Remember that part where she's going up the stairs...

Huh? Oh! You mean, like, stairs in the book! Eh, who cares?

Anyway, so Dorothy McQuire is climbing up these stairs, see, when suddenly...

*********************************

When Frodo returned to the Shire, why did he say "It feels like going asleep again."?

[ November 01, 2002: Message edited by: Birdland ]

[Diamond18]

Because the Shire is well known for it's magical poppy fields.

~~~~~~~~~~

How did Wormtounge get his nickname?

[Beren87]

An episode of Fear-Factor, it was on last season.

Where did Iluvatar dwell?

[Aylwen Dreamsong]

Don't tell anyone, but he signed up for survivor and is in Taiwan. I hope he wins a million dollars!


Who was Frodo's secret girlfriend?

[Aragost]

Lobelia Sackville Baggins, that's how she got Bag End so easily.


Who was the mother of Thorondir?

[gralin musicteeth]

Big Mama Throwrug
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
how many dwarfs went to the lonely mountain?

[Nevfeniel]

17.5 (don't ask).
..::What were the fellowship members' favorite books and why?::..

[Diamond18]

Frodo: "Weightlifting Made Easy."
Sam: "Gardening and Warfare, a Guide."
Pippin: "The Rise and Fall of the Roman Empire" smilies/wink.gif
Merry: "Tuesday's With Merry."
Legolas: "The Old Man and the Sea."
Aragorn: "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People."
Boromir: "The Art of Self-Control."
Gimli: "Elves and How to Understand Them."
Gandalf: "The Way of the Wizard" or "Simple Spells for Hearth and Home."

As to why, I think it's self-explanitory...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What would Gimli see if he looked into Galadriel's Mirror?

[ November 01, 2002: Message edited by: Diamond18 ]

[Marileangorifurnimaluim]

Nothing.

She broke it in a fit of rage years ago, causing the elves' current rather long run of bad luck.

o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o

What did Pippin steal?

[ November 03, 2002: Message edited by: Marileangorifurnimaluim ]

[hobbitlass]

Galadriel's pasties and high heels.

***********************************

For whom did Pippin steal these items for?

[Raefindel]

For himself, of course. He planned to sell them on E-bay and open an espresso stand with the profits.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What was Galadriel's favorite beverage?

[Diamond18]

A dozen raw eggs, cracked into a glass in the wee hours of the morning.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What diguise did Sam and Frodo use to cross Gorgoroth?

[Birdland]

Oooooh, it was good one. They carved a big eye into a pumpkin, then Frodo stood on Sam's shoulders, and they wrapped a long, black cloak around themselves. Everyone thought it was the ol' Dark Lord Himself wandering his realm.

That is, til the pumpkin fell off...then Gollum was onto them!

*********************************

What song did Sam sing to the Fellowship when they were camped at the Troll Dell? (You can give us a few verses, as well.)

[Diamond18]

The leaves were long, the grass was green,
A loon is he that will not sing:
O! Water Hot is a noble thing!
Tinúviel was dancing there,
To music of a pipe unseen,
But better than rain or rippling streams
Is Water Hot that smokes and steams.

Up came Beren with his big boots on,
Said he to Tinúviel: “Pray what is yon?
For it looks like the shin o’ mine nuncle Tim,
As should be lying in a graveyard!

One moment stood she, and a spell
His voice laid on her: Beren came,
And doom fell on Tinúviel.

“My lad,” she said, “this bone I stole.
But what be bones that lie in a hole?
Thy nuncle was dead as a lump ‘o lead,
Afore I found his shinbone.”

Then through woven woods in Elvenhome
She lightly fled on dancing feet.
O! Water is fair that leaps on high
In a fountain white beneath the sky;
But never did fountain sound so sweet
As splashing Hot Water with my feet!

Again she fled, but swift he came,
And called her by her elvish name.
Beren’s leg is game, since home he came,
And his bootless foot is lasting lame;
But Tinúviel don’t care, and she’s still there
With the bone she boned from its owner.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

How did Gollum refer to himself?

[Birdland]

Smeagol...The Smeagter... The Smeaginator...Smeag-Meister...

**********************************

What was the waterfall in Ithilien called?

[ November 03, 2002: Message edited by: Birdland ]

[Nevfeniel]

The very first name it aquired was "Hey-that-cave-behind-that-waterfall-looks-like-a-good-spot". It has been shortened to "That-waterfall-thing". smilies/wink.gif
..::Getting into the Silmarillion, why did Nienor kill herself?::..

[Marileangorifurnimaluim]

She was forced to watch an animated screen adaptation of 'The Silmarillion' by Ralph Bakshi.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What was Lobelia Sackville-Baggins' primary weapon, and where did she use it?

[ November 03, 2002: Message edited by: Marileangorifurnimaluim ]

[Elven Mistress]

Pots and pans and she used them in her kitchen...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What is Pippin's favourite song?

[Nevfeniel]

Twinkle twinkle, little star, of course. You didn't know that? smilies/wink.gif
..::What big mistake did Bilbo make while talking to Smaug?::..

[Marileangorifurnimaluim]

Not brushing his teeth first. Dragons have a very sensitive sense of smell. Fortunately for Bilbo he didn't smell like something Smaug wanted to eat, not after weeks of cram.

****************************

Why did Sauron want that ring anyways?

[Birdland]

Actually, he didn't want the Ring so much as the finger that was in the Ring. He really missed that finger, you know. It was just long enough to reach that "itchy spot" between his shoulder blades. Not to mention that people had a tendency to stare when they noticed he only had nine digits.

So he kept searching, searching, searching for the One Finger that Isildur had removed, never realizing that he had disgarded the appendage long ago and kept the Ring! Foolish mortal.

For a brief moment Sauron had hoped that he could take Frodo's finger, it being better than nothing, but it was much too small, and burnt to a crisp, to boot.

************************************

From The Hobbit - Why did Beorn use ponies as his house servants?

[ November 05, 2002: Message edited by: Birdland ]

[Raefindel]

Well, the dogs kept licking the dishes instead of washing them. They really didn't work out and he had to let them go.
*******************************************

Which dwarf loaned Bilbo a hood and why did he feel he needed it?

[Gandalf_theGrey]

Horace Hoodwinker loaned Bilbo a hood, because it was better than wearing a Baggins over his head.

-------------------------------------------

Why do Dwarves get along better with Hobbits than with Elves?

[ November 05, 2002: Message edited by: Gandalf_theGrey ]

[Atariel]

because dwarves are all ugly, and hobbits, though totally adorable, are uglier than elves

why does Tom Bopmbadil only speak in rhymes?

[mark12_30]

Because his automatic prose generator crashed a long time ago, and he has to have Agent Elrond reload it into his programming, but he doesn't want to admit that he needs reprogramming.

Why does Gandalf do fireworks?

[Elenna]

Because he's a pyromaniac, and fireworks are his therapist's suggestion for a positive way to burn things.

------------------------------

How did Gollum get to know Shelob?

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

Well, Gollum had been pretty lonely living down in the caves beneath the mountains. In the end, just for a laugh, you understand, he called one of those telephone chat lines and ran into a "sensual older woman". Needless to say their only ever dinner engagement was something of a failure, but they remained friends; meeting every so often for a bottle of Mirkwood red and a takeaway Orc.

-------------------------------------------

Who is this Elendil person anyway?

[mark12_30]

Person? It's a recipe for broiled fish in cream sauce; the name is short for "Elegant with Dill".

If the shards of Narsil were good enough to whack off Sauron's finger, why reforge it?

[Elven Mistress]

They never really reforged it, you see. They just said they did and didn't...just to get us all confused...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Who was the real 'Fool' of the Fellowship?

[Diamond18]

Legolas was the biggest Fool. I mean, even Pippin could have kept Gollum captive! And then, to join up with a bunch of mortals on a quest to save a world he's going to be leaving in a couple hundred years anyway...!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

How did Saruman die?

[Dagmar of Avalon]

Saruman got pushed into a river in Hobbiton and drowned. He couldn't float anymore because he wasn't an Istari.


__________________________________________


Why doesn't Frodo wear sunglasses?

[mark12_30]

Because he doesn't need them to be cool, dude. Just like the Balrog is already--- (swoooon-- ooooooo, he's sooooo---) HOT.

(drumroll) Why... does... the... balrog... have...
(HAH!!I'm not going to ask about WINGS!)

....curly ram's horns?

[Nevfeniel]

Because in his spare time, the Balrog and some brave orcs like to have something like a bull-fight, except they used the balrog as a bull, instead.
..::Why doesn't Treebeard like to be hasty?::..

[mark12_30]

Because no matter how much coffee he drinks it just doesn't wake him up in the morning.

Why is Galadriel blond?

[Aylwen Dreamsong]

The local cvs ran out of all hair dyes except for the color: "High-Elf-Lady-Of-Lothlorien-Blond"


Why are men from Gondor so stinky?

[Diamond18]

Because men from Gondor are like onions: they stink, sprout little white hairs, and have layers.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Who were Legolas's siblings? Please give names and some information about their personalities and lives.....
(I know I ask too much, but is it really too much to ask too much?)

[hobbitlass]

First there is Lincolnloglad. He's the eldest. Kind of a gruff, doesn't want the family business of running a kingdom. He's into logging Mirkwood forest. A very good trade with the dwarves and men, especially since both populations are rebuilding.

Then there's lil' brother, Brioboy. He's quiet and thoughtful and very resourceful. He has plans to make the West more accessable by laying logs (from big brother) in long lines parrallel to each other. On these will ride many wains tied together to transport goods and people.
************************************************** *****************

What flavor was Bilbo's cake and what did it say on it?

[ November 06, 2002: Message edited by: hobbitlass ]

[Elenna]

It was chocolate and said "Congratulations to the Shire's Sexiest Hobbit". When the candles are blown out, Legolas comes out of the cake in a bikini. Thank the Valar, Bilbo vanished before the candles could actually be blown out.

- Why didn't Aragorn fall in love with Eowyn? -

[Diamond18]

Because he found out that at night she turns into an ogre, and who could love a hideous, loathsome monster?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What spells did Gandalf use when he tried to open the doors of Moria?

[Raefindel]

being the preverse fellow he was,He was certain he could get someone to give up their immortality for him.
******************************************

What was the name of Gimli's Axe?

[ November 06, 2002: Message edited by: Raefindel ]

[Birdland]

Gimli had owned that axe ever since he was a little Dwarfling. When it was first given to him, he admired it's shiny blade and asked his father "What is this?" His father lovingly replied "It is called 'tin'.", thinking it was a good sign that Gimli was showing an interest in metal at such a tender age.

But Gimli, being a rather scattered-brained little mite, misheard his dear ol' dad. " 'Tim"? Well, if you say so." And so his axe was know as "Tim" for the rest of his life.

(P.J. makes a subtle reference to this tender scene in the film, when Gimli strike the Ring and his axe breaks. Bound to happen, when you are wielding a tin axe.)
********************************

Why did Shadowfax choose to let Gandalf ride on his back, when he would allow no other rider?

[ November 07, 2002: Message edited by: Birdland ]

[Birdland]

Since Diamond and Raefindel posted at the same time, I'll answer both questions!

"What spell did Gandalf use to open the Gates of Moria".

Actually, he didn't use a spell. He used WD-40. Those hinges were kinda rusty after all those years.
*************************
Repeating my question: Why did Shadowfax choose to let Gandalf ride on his back, when he would allow no other rider?

[HerenIstarion]

Gandalf was famous for carrying all kinds of oddments in his pockets (in which he resembled Gollum, who actually was his nephew, that's why Gandalf was unwilling to kill him, nepotism, that's it). Remember him carrying that dwarvish key for almost a century? So, once Gandalf had accidentaly stolen a carrot from Gerontius (Old) Took's table, and since than it was in one of his many pockets. And Shadowfax was just very fond of carrots, especially old ones "with good ol' flavour" as he thought of them. Gandalf happened to produce one in the right place at the right moment and bribed Shadowfax with it.

=======================================


Whad did Tuor find in Nevrast?

[Marileangorifurnimaluim]

He found out that he had been mispelling his own name all these years. 'U' doesn't come before 'O' for Pete's sake! His name was actually 'Tour,' and that's exactly what he was doing in Nebraska (not Nevrast). Apparently running about in the wild had done something to his language skills, and it caused all kinds of misunderstandings. Aa a tour of Nebraska would drive anybody mad, there are only so many flat fields and farmhouses one can take, he finally killed himself. The two farmers who ran the tour in the off-season stood over the body:

"Well. That's the fourth one this week."
"Yep."
"You know... (the Farmer took a heavy breath)... this tour just hasn't been the same since they shut down the town of Hobokan, Mercke, Suttyville, Stuckeyville, Mapleton, Ramsford, Hollis..."
"... and Bedford..."
"Yeah, Bedford too. Not to mention Rolley, Mayorston, Bramton..."

*************************************

Did Galadriel have any cats? And if so, where was the litter box?

[ November 07, 2002: Message edited by: Marileangorifurnimaluim ]

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Of course she did, but only one. It was dark grey and prowled in the shadows, which is why no one ever saw it. The litter box was near the mirror, naturally, since water was needed to clean it occasionally.

° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° °

How on earth did the Three Runners' shoes survive that trip into Rohan?

[HerenIstarion]

well, all along the way there were lots of dead goblins. Plenty of hide to repair ruined shoes, you know.

=====================================

Why was Beorn supposed to be such a deadly enemy? After all, being vegetarian, he was quite a peacuful kind of chap, eh?

[ November 07, 2002: Message edited by: HerenIstarion ]

[Gandalf_theGrey]

The werebear Beorn actually had much in common with a wolf ... Steppenwolf that is, from a 1968 song:

"Like a true nature's child
We were beorn, beorn to be wild ..." smilies/wink.gif

---------------------------------------------

Gazing out at a rainbow from Imladris, where would you go if you were to go somewhere over the rainbow?

[mark12_30]

Gandalf-- AWOOOOOO!!!!!

... The land that I heard of once in a lullaby-- Lorien, the land of dreams, natch.

************

Why did Pippin swear fealty to Denethor?

[Raefindel]

He was gonna just swear outright, but Gandalf had him by the hairs on his neck, and well, since he had already spoken, he had to say something.

********************************************
Who made Glorfindel's Saddle?

[Diamond18]

Arwen. Arwen made everything at Rivendell. She was known as the resident craft-maiden. Banners, clothes, various horse-riding accessories...She was so kind as to make a lovely saddle for Glorfindel, and he didn't have the heart to tell her than he didn't need a saddle, so he used it anyway. He's a really nice guy, that Glorfindel.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What gifts did Bilbo give to Frodo in Rivendell? (And did Arwen make them?)

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

Since the gifts that Bilbo gave Frodo were a home-made pipe-rack with no straight edges, a small envelope full of moss, and a copy of Biggles Learns to Fly, crudely rebound in self-adhesive plastic and marked "Ex libris Saruman the White"; I should think that it's obvious that only Galadriel, unloader of junk extraordinaire, was responsible for their misguided manufacture.

---------------------------------------------

Where are the White Downs?

[Nevfeniel]

The ski slopes on Caradhras.
..::How did the fox from the chapter Three is Company contribute to the destruction of the ring?::..

[Birdland]

Well, that little fox tried to take the One Ring away from Frodo for his own use. (He wanted to be the Prince of Foxes). When he couldn't get it out of Frodo's tight little clutches he sulked, and muttered to himself: "I didn't want that silly ring, anyway. It obviously isn't the real One Ring, or it would be much bigger. Those Hobbits just have a cheap, tin, imitation One Ring".

The Nazgul, wandering the forest at the time, overheard the fox and took him for his word. They reported back to Sauron that the Hobbits only had a cheap, tin, imitation Ring. Therefore; Sauron's attention was turned elsewhere while Frodo and Sam were slowly making their way to Mount Doom.

The Moral of the Story:

Foxes are no judge of fine jewelry.
*********************************
How did Treebeard contribute to the destruction of The One Ring?

[ November 08, 2002: Message edited by: Birdland ]

[Estelyn Telcontar]

In memory of the Entwives, he planted the grapes that the fox couldn't reach (and they were sour, since he knew nothing about vineyards!). However, several of the Nazgúl ate them and had indigestion, so they weren't at Weathertop with the other attackers. Had they been there, the ring would certainly have been taken!

° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° °

How did the Gaffer contribute to the destruction of the One Ring?

[hobbitlass]

"Rings and Dark Lords! I said to them. Cabbages and potatoes are better for you. Don't go getting mixed up in the business of your worse(ers), or you'll land in trouble too big for you", said the Gaffer.
So five of the original forteen Blackriders left the pursuit and started their true passion of gardening with the Gaffer.
**************************************
What was eaten at the "last meal at Bag End"?

[Catherine]

Milk and cookies
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Why did Frodo bring the Ring to Rivendell?

[Elenna]

Because the Antiques Roadshow was there
-----------------------------------------
How did Balin get chosen to be the Lord of Moria.

[Nevfeniel]

They drew names out of a hat.
..::Why did it hurt Frodo so much when Gimli hit the ring with an axe at Rivendell?::..

[Diamond18]

It wasn't Gimli's actions, actually. For some inexplicable reason, Frodo had a flashback to the day when he fell out of a tree, and was spanked soundly by his mother (this was waaaay back when) for climbing said tree. Even he couldn't tell you what triggered the flashback, but it was supremely unpleasent. (It's a little known fact that Primula Brandybuck was known as "Primula the Pounder").

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It is also a little known fact that Bilbo forgot to record one of the riddles Gollum asked in their riddle competion. What was it, and what was the answer?

[Belin]

It was actually a rather easy one:

I was a weapon, warrior. Now the young warrior
Covers me proudly With gold and silver
With twisted bow-wire. Sometimes the the men kissed me.
Sometimes, with a great cry I summoned to battle
Familiar companions; sometimes a horse bears
Me over a border; Sometimes a great ship
Fares across waters with bright ornaments;
Sometimes some tribes' jewel-adornments Fill my
Bosom. Sometimes I must lie dead
On the hard table, headless, despoiled;
Sometimes I hang on the wall, adorned
With beautiful jewels, there men drink
From the beautiful war-ornament. Once a warrior
Carried me on his horse, then I colored treasure
Must swallow from the wind of a certain person's bosom;
Sometimes with my voice I invite proud men
To wine; sometimes with my wrathful voice
I must save that which was stolen
And must put to flight the foe-sheath. I ask you what I'm called.

It's not an impossible riddle (although I will wait for a couple days before editing this post to include the answer, in case you want to guess), but it is a very long one. When Bilbo was about halfway through it, Gollum lost his patience and began paddling across the lake, at the sound of which Bilbo became very alarmed and moved straight on into the fish riddle.

Edit: Gah! For some reason I can't make spaces between the half-lines. You'll just have to pretend.

*Disclaimer: Lest people wonder, I didn't make this riddle up. It's an actual Old English riddle.
---------------------------------------------
What woke Turin from his trance?

--Belin Ibaimendi

Since Diamond18 has guessed the riddle correctly, I will answer it right now. It is indeed a horn--notice that it's a drinking horn as well as a musical instrument. Congratulations. smilies/smile.gif

[ November 11, 2002: Message edited by: Belin ]

[Nevfeniel]

Someone threw a bucket of water on him.
By the way, Belin, I'm taking a shot in the dark, but is it a sword?~
..::Who from the LotR trilogy lives in my closet?::..

[ November 10, 2002: Message edited by: Nevfeniel ]

[Diamond18]

(Belin, could it be a horn or trumpet or something like that?)

Nev: I've never been in your closet, but I'm going to say that it's Fredegar (Fatty no more) Bolger, Lobelia Sackville-Baggins, and Will Whitfoot, among others. Yes, you are one of Sharkey's girls! Admit it!!!!! smilies/biggrin.gif

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If an Ent trips and falls down in the woods, and there are nothing but Huorns around to hear it, does it make a noise?

[Birdland]

No, it doesn't Diamond. It just sucks it up and gets back up again. Nobody likes a whiny Ent.
***********************************
What did Frodo see crawling across the floor of the Barrow Downs towards his companions?

[Gwaihir the Windlord]

A ghastly white hand. The hand... of Ron Kittle, the barrow-wight.

[HerenIstarion]

give us a question, Windlord smilies/smile.gif

[Dúnethalath Taurendor]

It is said in the beginning of the thread that everybody can ask a question if the thread is stopped up.

So, why did Sauron put a lot of his power into one ring? (fraud of the rings-fans?)

[Eruhen]

Old Sour-puss was always an egotist. He just wanted to say to everyone "Oh, I bet your jewelry won't allow you to rule the world, will it?" He couldn't stand being second-best.

---------------------------------------------
How did the Barrow-wight (not Ron) contribute to the destruction of the Ring?

[Precioussss]

He had some connections on the inside-that Ring was soon taken care of. This was later referred to as the downfall of the Finger family, but that is another story.

############################################

Who was the first Lord of Moria?

[Diamond18]

Michael Flaherty...but then a short guy (even for a Dwarf) with a goatee replaced him. His Dwarvish name means, literally, "Goatee". It was Zyrgikiz.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

How did Zyrgikiz contribute to the Fall of Gondolin?

[ChristRocks]

A pony named Bill


What is Arwen's last name?

[Nevfeniel]

Double-post! I'll answer both.
Diamond18: Despite what legends say, it was actually Zyrgikiz who was awoken by Pippin's stone, and though the legends say otherwise, the ring was destroyed when Zyrgikiz found out the reason that he was woken up. You see, Zyrgikiz had a nasty temper and he grabbed the ring from Frodo and threw it into the abyss. Gandalf didn't actually fall after a battle with the balrog, he tried to grab the ring and tripped over a rock and then fell into the chasm.
ChristRocks: Arwen's last name was Smith. After she married Aragorn, it was changed to Jones. When Aragorn died, she secretly married someone else and her last name became Brown. When he died, she went back to Smith.
..::Who did Arwen secretly marry, why did she marry him, and how many kids did they have? (Names and brief descriptions are welcome.)::..

[ November 11, 2002: Message edited by: Nevfeniel ]

[Gwaihir the Windlord]

Tim Brown, a regular inn-goer from Bree with a round red face and a prediposition to be oily and fat. He worked the trade of candle-making, gathering the abundant supply of oil he was supplied with in tanks as it dripped off his hair. Unfortunately, no chidren were sprung of the marriage as Arwen could not bring herself to go near enough to him to make that possible. She married him in a last-minute bid to avoid having to follow Aragorn, i.e. dying, planning to marry a young Elf afterwards as soon as there was one going.
He eventually died of cholesterol poisoning at age 48.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What were Gollum's motives for biting off Frodo's finger?

[ November 12, 2002: Message edited by: Gwaihir the Windlord ]

[HerenIstarion]

he was hungry (yeah, just that, poor poopsy)

======================================

What was the point of sending Bilbo inside Smaug's cave?

[Gwaihir the Windlord]

They were doing a documentary on dragons, and wanted to see how one would react to a hobbit.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Why did Morgoth in fact want to do all the evil things he did?

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Because he was bored, bored, bored....

° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° °

What changes did the Dwarves make in the Desolation of Smaug?

[HerenIstarion]

Well, um, e, they made it even more desolate (diggin, bulldozin...)

========================================

Who was Galion?

[Eruhen]

It's not technically who, it's what is a Galion? A galion is a liquid measurement, made up of four quarts or eight pints or sixteen fluid ounces. A galion is approximately equal to three litres.

Where was the Ring destroyed?

[Diamond18]

Hey, I asked how Zyrgikiz contributed to the Fall of Gondolin, not the destruction of the Ring! (and it was hardly a double post since I made my post a full hour and a half before the other smilies/rolleyes.gif ).

Enough griping smilies/tongue.gif So, the Ring was destroyed in the grinding ice of the Helcaraxë. I thought everyone knew that smilies/wink.gif .

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

How would the story have ended differently if Treebeard stomped on Merry and Pippin, mistaking them for little Orcs?

[Gwaihir the Windlord]

Aragorn, Gimli and Legolas find their squashed bodies, give up all hope and go mad; Aragorn eventually eating the other two. Stumbling back to Edoras, he berserkedly destroyed everyone in sight before chopping off his own head. Because of this, Gondor recieved no Rohirrim reinformements, and were vanquished by the Haradrim in the Battle of the Pelennor. Sauron then turns attention inwards, finds the Ring and becomes all powerful. Book ends 37 chapters shorter.

_______________

Why didn't Gandalf shave?

[Eruhen]

Because he had to hide the horrible acne scars from his adolescence. I'm serious, you don't want to see that!

---------------------------------------------

Getting into the Silm., why did the Noldor revolt against the Valar?

[HerenIstarion]

Because Valar (= blood sucking capitalists) were not paying them. You know that, class struggle and the like. Hey, I'll watch you working 112 hrs a week just for food and accomodation!

=========================================

What was Radagast's hobby?

[Diamond18]

Pulling the wings off of butterflies.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What is Frodo's middle name?

[Aylwen Dreamsong]

Frodo's middle name is Sally, but don't tell anyone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

How old are the ringwraiths?

[Gwaihir the Windlord]

They were teenagers. They liked playing with (morgul-)knives.

----------------

Who was Boromir's real father?

[Eruhen]

Anakin Skywalker.

---------------------------------------------

Who betrayted the location of Gondolin to Morgoth?

[Diamond18]

Zyrgikiz, first Lord of Moria! (You knew I'd have to get that in there smilies/wink.gif )

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What is the recipe for Lembas?

[hobbitlass]

The usual...
3 C flour
1 C water
2 C sugar
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 tsp vanilla
2 lb sp**d (the secret for prolonged energy)

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Why was lembas created in the first place?

[ November 14, 2002: Message edited by: hobbitlass ]

[Diamond18]

It was in an attempt to help Galadriel and Celeborn talk a little faster. It did work. You should have heard them before. Even Treebeard would grow impatient with them. Now thanks to a daily helping of Lembas (four pieces smilies/wink.gif ) they can piece together somewhat normal sentances.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What was Bilbo's second most precious possession besides the Ring? (Sting and his Mithril coat were merely numbers 3 and 4).

[ November 14, 2002: Message edited by: Diamond18 ]

[ November 14, 2002: Message edited by: Diamond18 ]

[Elven Mistress]

The hair on his feet, of course!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What was the fellowship's favourite NON-alcholic drink?

[Galadel Vinorel]

Shirley Temples!!

~Slurp~Slurp!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Who did Sauron always wish was his son? smilies/rolleyes.gif

[Aylwen Dreamsong]

He didn't want a son, he wanted a clone! To take care of all evil deeds in case he was in Lothlorien basking in the sun (assuming no one would notice....wait...)

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~


Who was the most popular guy in high school, out of the Fellowship?

[Eruhen]

Gandalf, of course! Even though he only 'says' he was ever in high school, the tales he tells are crazy. (But, just between you and me, I think he's become a little, shall I say "special", in his old age.)

Who was the first Lord of Nargothrond?

[Galadel Vinorel]

Morgoth, of course!!....EEEEWWWWW!!!!....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What was Gollum's favourite food?

[Gwaihir the Windlord]

Other people's fingers, obviously.

+++++++++++

Why was Barliman fat?

[Galadel Vinorel]

He kept on sampling other people's food in the kitchen, undoubtedly!! HE-HE!! YUMMY!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What did Galadriel show Frodo in her mirror that scared him so much?

[Gwaihir the Windlord]

The eye wasn't anything special, of course; he'd been seeing that every day since he'd got the Ring; but he was frightened because he thought for a fleeting second that Galadriel was tryring to drown him.

__________________________

Describe the life of a female Orc.

[hobbitlass]

So yu wanna know wat my day is like ya nasty smely vermint, well I'll tell ya.
First, there aint much of us. caus the big brutes throes us into pits wen we dont do sumtin rit. but id like to see em thro me off. im hed she-ork ive livd longest. 'nfact im muther to the gret goblin that the stupid wizrd killd wen a bunch of dwarfs and a litl i dont kno "thing" cam by wiles bac.
eneewas, we hunt da fud mostle. orks off killin odders. we hav slimy braty baby orks hangin off us ol day. winin an fusin an tryin to sharpin teefs on our ankls. so dats it...just huntin an beatin litl orks off our ankls. o yea, cleanin da nasty klos. i don no wat da 'ell dese orks get into. mebbe dragin dung or summtin....
*******************************************

What does Eru do on his day off?

[Gwaihir the Windlord]

Hehe...

He spends a day, as most supernatural beings do every now and again, as Tom Bombadil.

__________________

How many Haradrim were slaughtered in the Battle of the Pelennor?

[HerenIstarion]

two and a third (and don't ask me how remaining 2/3 survived - it's a story of horror and heroic comeback of warrior's 2/3s into his homeland, but I am a poor storyteller for such enormous task...


====================================


Should Sam be reported as being cruel to animals?

[Diamond18]

Oh, most definitely. We should get the Arachnids-Are-Cute Society, plus the people at PAIFRABE (people for animal, insect, fish, reptile, amphibian and bird equality) to picket Bag-end, screaming "Nassssty Hobbit!" at him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What was Ungoliant's favorite midnight snack?

[Eruhen]

Tea and crumpets.

What (or who) is the Grinding Ice?

[Diamond18]

Grinding Ice was an Elvish rapper, who enojoyed a short spurt of popularity before he diminished and faded into the West.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What would Sam have done with a pet Oliphaunt?

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

Naturally he'd make four attractive umbrella stands, some ivory handles for his kitchen knives and a huge pie.

-------------------------

What exactly was Gildor up to when he met Frodo anyway?

[Nuranar]

He was scouting out the Shire as the potential site for a housing development. Elvish families who wanted to move west but didn't want to take ship until their children were grown.
smilies/rolleyes.gif

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What color(s) were the leaves of Lothlorien?

[Diamond18]

Many different colors: Galadriel and her amazing technicolor dream leaves were legendary all over Middle-earth. Saruman became jealous, and that's how his amazing technicolor dream coat came about.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What would you read in a tourism brochure for Harad?

[Elenna]

"Glittering, sun-drenched beaches where the firendly natives will be happy to entertain you.
---------------------------------------
What is miruvor (the cordial of Rivendell) made of?

[gralin musicteeth]

pumpkin puree and camel curds
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

What did Gimli REALLY want from Galadriel?

[Diamond18]

Nenya. He was a little Dwarf with big dreams. Lord Gimli, King Gimli, Supreme Potentate Gimli...these are the kind of things he murmured to himself at night.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What do Elves do for fun?

[Galadel Vinorel]

THey drown hobbits in the river!!....He-HE!!....

The eye wasn't anything special, of course; he'd been seeing that every day since he'd got the Ring; but he was frightened because he thought for a fleeting second that Galadriel was tryring to drown him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Who was Galadriel's mother?

[ November 21, 2002: Message edited by: Galadel Vinorel ]

[Diamond18]

Galadriel was the Second-to-Last Child of Ungoliant.

~~~~~~~~~~

Perhaps Shelob and Gollum could tell us this...what do Orcs taste like?

[Mintyztwin]

Chicken. Everything tastes like Chicken! But Orcs have this aftertaste like bad garlick. (sp?)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What is the name of Gandalf's sword?

(If this is already done, I'm sorry, I don't have time to read 18 pages!!! Unfortunatly!)

P.S. Only 34 days till Christmas! And only 27 till TTT!! smilies/biggrin.gif

[ November 21, 2002: Message edited by: Mintyztwin ]

[hobbitlass]

Long-sharp-pointy-thingy.

Who actually named it?

[Lindolirian]

The Official Sword Namer Guy.

and what was this guy's middle name?

[Galadel Vinorel]

Maker-dude-a-ma-bobber!! smilies/biggrin.gif

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Why did Aragorn decide to help the hobbits get to Rivendel?

[ November 23, 2002: Message edited by: Galadel Vinorel ]

[Birdland]

Because Rivendell has a severe labor shortage. Hobbits, being willing to do all manner of work that Elves consider to be "beneath" them, are quietly encouraged to migrate East in search of the promise of a better life. Though they are no means encouraged to actually live in Rivendell. The hills around the Elven stronghold are dotted with old mobile homes and cinderblock apartment buildings that are letted out to the Hobbits by absentee Elven landlords in Valinor.

Aragorn gets about 500 silver pennies a head - up front - to guide Hobbits through the Wilderness to Rivendell. Though he is considered the best "warg" in those parts for the journey, he is quick to abandon his charges when things get dicy. The Weather Hills hide the scattered remains of many a poor hobbit who were ditched by Aragorn when the going got tough.

But still the Hobbits keep coming, seeking a small part of the "Elven dream".
---------------------------------

Why did Merry decide to help Eowyn slay the Witch King?

[ November 24, 2002: Message edited by: Birdland ]

[Diamond18]

The Witch-King called him a "rag-tag-tagalong", and that roused Merry's temper; never mind that he was a bit rag-tag after his adventures and that he was tagging along with Éoywn....

~~~~~~~~~

What is the most efficient way to kill a Giant Spider?

[Mintyztwin]

Force feed it a Gollum.


-----------------------------

How many eye's did shelob have?

P.S. Only 31 days till Christmas!!! smilies/biggrin.gif

[Diamond18]

42, which is incidentally the same number of roads that a man must walk down. smilies/wink.gif

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Why does Tom Bombadil wear yellow boots?

[Galadel Vinorel]

He thinks that they make him look puurrttyy!! smilies/wink.gif

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Why was Legolas given the name Legolas (Greenleaf) by his parents?

[Mintyztwin]

He liked spinach 'cause it made him nice and strong!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Why do Elves like starlight?

[hobbitlass]

Because the elves are really Texans. Perhaps you have heard...
"Stars at night, so big and bright
*clap clap clap clap*
Deep in the heart of Texas"
(I heard that on PeeWee's Big Adventure)
****************************************

What is the real reason dwarves live under the mountains?

[Gwaihir the Windlord]

The sunlight hurts their eyes. Although that's probably just because they've been underground for so long. It's a vicious circle.

================

How many Rings does Sauron have on each finger? Including the unnoficial ones.

[Eruhen]

27. On each finger. (He had really long fingers.)

How did the Hobbits originally get to the Shire?

[Salix]

They swam across the ocean.

What did Boromir get from Galadriel?

[Nuranar]

Galadriel gave Boromir the first cellular phone ever seen in Middle-Earth. It had the added attraction of being able to communicate with his father Denethor's palantir.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What was Sam's favorite pasttime?

[Mintyztwin]

Refining his recipe of escargo. (Mr. Frodo's favorite.)


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What was the name of Rose Cotton's first boyfriend. (Pre-Sam)?

[gralin musicteeth]

Flabby Pumpkin
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Who built Bag End?

[Mintyztwin]

Sauron. He though it would be a good summer get away. Then he forgot aboutit.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


What is the real name of the Mouth of Sauron?

[Aylwen Dreamsong]

Sandry Jane of course!!


*~*~*~*~*~*~

What was Sauron's favorite Christmas present?

[Eruhen]

I thought you knew! Sauron is the Grinch! He despises Christmas and everything to do with it.
---------------------------------------------

How old is Elrond?

[HerenIstarion]

he's 24, goin to be 25 soon. To be honest, I know it because he's my clasmate. I visited his last bday party, and we happily got drunk together. Wish I never did it - he's always so gloomy when he's drunk, brr, all this suicidal talk and whatnot. Though he's quite a chap when sober.

--------------------------------------

what is Shelob?

[Aylwen Dreamsong]

How could you not know that Shelob is my little sister's favorite stuffed animal? All glittery and fluffy, shaped just like a spider, only it can't be, as it is a pink/purple color! She loves that thing. Wait 'til she takes it to preschool though....

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

What is Sauron's lucky number??

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

One would naturally assume it to be 666, but it isn't. In fact the Dark Lord regards 492761.8302 as the most auspicious of numbers. Some people just have to be different.

--------------------------------------------

How far is it from Rauros to the Morannon as the crow flies?

[HerenIstarion]

Crows of ME are famous drunkards, so they never fly in a straight line. So for the crow there will be twenty four miles of distance to fly. Now the rabbits are known to be teetotallers and lovers of order, so, for them there are only 3 miles to jump along


------------------------------------------

What was Boromir's favorite sport?

[HerenIstarion]

by Gwaihir

How many Rings does Sauron have on each finger? Including the unnoficial ones.


a bit of off-topic, but Windlord, do you mean "unnoficial" fingers or rings smilies/wink.gif?

back to it:

what was Boromir's favorite sport?

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

Croquet

------------------

Old Man Willow's domain is located in the valley of which river?

[HerenIstarion]

Ah, Squatter, I always thought you loved allegory. What river? old Willy's domain is of course www.oldmanwillow.com (http://mamba.bio.uci.edu/~pjbryant/biodiv/lepidopt/nymph/mcloak.htm)

---------------------------------

How was Huan getting rid of parasites?

[ November 27, 2002: Message edited by: HerenIstarion ]

[Diamond18]

Huan simply reasoned with them: he talked them out of even wanting to be on him, by skillfully portraying Orcs to them as much more desirable hosts.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Why do they call Meriadoc "the Magnificent"?

[ November 27, 2002: Message edited by: Diamond18 ]

[Nevfeniel]

Because he is a magician and he needs a good stage name.
..::If elves hate dwarves so much, why did Elrond invite Gimli to the Council of Elrond?::..

[ November 27, 2002: Message edited by: Nevfeniel ]

[Mintyztwin]

He wanted a scapegoat for everything and anything that went wrong. He figured he'd get away with it, 'cause elves don't trust bearded dwarves. If the dwarves were clean-shaven it would be a different story.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What kind of trees did Quickbeam raise?

[Eruwen]

Magical Beanstalks he got seeds for from Jack. (Remember, unlike most Ents, Quickbeam liked to grow his trees FAST!)
----------------------------------
Why did Sam name his children after flowers and some of his friends? (Give a reason for both flowers and his friends)

[Aylwen Dreamsong]

Sam was allergic to flowers, thusly, if he named his children after them he could still be near flowers without sneezing. His friends? They paid him Old Toby to name his children after them....

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
What was Elrohir's favorite TV show?

[Raefindel]

Aladdin, of course! But he hates the Keebler commercials. I heard he even filed a lawsuit against them when they broke their contract to have him as spokes-elf and used a hobbit instead...very insulting!
*******************

Why did Bilbo give the Heart of the Mountain to the King of the Elves?

[ November 28, 2002: Message edited by: Raefindel ]

[Greycloak]

Because some wizard already gave the brain to a Scarecrow.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Why are the Mirkwood butterflies black?

[Beren87]

Cause Legolas got on another one of his "painting frenzies". *sigh* if you give an elf a brush....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Where dwell Celeborn and Galadriel?

[HerenIstarion]

They both live in Berlin. Unfortunately, Celeborn happened ro live in Western part, so was separated from Galadriel for at least 30 years, until she jupmed over the wall with a po stick
----------------------------

How was the Shire-Thain appointed?

[hobbitlass]

eene meene miny mo
******************

What did Gandalf have to pay for all those taxi rides from Gwahir?