Qs and As for TLOTR but I only want WRONG answers

[Mintyztwin]

Rabbits and a few sheep. He also had to send him a yearly present of 6 blackberry pies. (Extra large of course.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What happened to Sam's pots and pans he left behind?

[Eruwen]

He gave them to Rosie to use on any flirting Hobbit-men while he was gone.
--------------------------------
What is the Barrow-Downs in the books?

[Mintyztwin]

An elvish salon. Frequented by Galadriel and Goldberry. The Barrow-Downs specialized in manicures.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What is Tom Bombadills favorite color?

[Aylwen Dreamsong]

Sky-blue pink. You know, the color the sky turns when it is setting...didn't he tell you that in kindergarten?

~*!*~*~*~!*~~*!*!*~*!*~*

What is Arwen's secret nickname?

[Manwe Sulimo]

"Mr. Doubtfire", but only to her children and ex-husband.

-------------------

How many mountains are there in Ephel Dúath?

[DaughterofVana]

30.56459627. The Dwarves got a little too mining-happy on the last one....

~~~~~~~~~

Why was Sauron so incredibly evil?

[Galadel Vinorel]

Because he is still angry with the Isitari because he and his orc baseball team lost to the Isitari team in the the Middle Earth Baseball Championship Finals. So, he takes out his anger on the people of Middle Earth. **EEWWHH....Suppressed anger...not good....**

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Why does Gandalf think that Pippin is so stupid?

[Mintyztwin]

He doesn't. He just acts that way to appear smarter than Pippin.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Why do hobbits like mushrooms?

[Diamond18]

Mushrooms are proven to add extra curliness and buoyancy to hair. And we all know that Hobbits are extremely vain about their hair ("We do, Diamond?" you ask. smilies/wink.gif )

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What is the Orcish word for "friend"?

[Aylwen Dreamsong]

Why would orcs have a word for friend? And even if they did they would think of it as a cuss word!

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Who is Galadriel's best friend?

[Mintyztwin]

Her invisible friend, Charles Fitzgerald Silvergill. His very excistence drove Celeborn nuts. "There's no such person!" he'd yell at Galadriel. She'd cry, and wander off with Charlie. She got her revenge when she invited 8 stinky mortals and a wood elf to Lothlorien.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What happened to the other rings?

EDIT: AAAAHHH!! What happened to the rest of the thread?>?!?!! Oh. I started a new page! Phew. I was worried I had somehow deleted the thread!
smilies/eek.gif smilies/eek.gif

[ November 30, 2002: Message edited by: Mintyztwin ]

[Elven Mistress]

As The One Ring was destroyed, all the ringbearers underwent a very sad time when a voice sounded in their head, telling them to eat their rings (it didn't go away until they did).

--<-@ --<-@ --<-@ --<-@ --<-@ --<-@

What was the Elves' favourite game to play?

[Galadel Vinorel]

Bop the Hobbit on the Head Game **Boom....Isn't it fun!! smilies/biggrin.gif **

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Why did Sam hate Gollum so much?

[Aylwen Dreamsong]

He was jealous of gollum's good looks. (I's serious, it's a joke...LoL)


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

What did Arwen do for her sweet 16?

[ December 01, 2002: Message edited by: Aylwen Dreamsong ]

[Galadel Vinorel]

Arwen went to Hobbiton, and played the Elve's favorite game, Bop the Hobbits on the Head Game. HE-HE!! smilies/biggrin.gif ** Boom!!** smilies/biggrin.gif

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What do orcs like to do the most? smilies/biggrin.gif

[Diamond18]

Orcs love to sit in a circle and sing "Kum Bah Yah, my friend, kum bah yah." Only they use the orkish word for friend, which is unknown. smilies/wink.gif

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Why did Pippin throw the stone into the well?

[mordor136]

He thought it was a coin and he wanted to make a wish.
******************
Why didn't Galadriel take the ring?

[Aylwen Dreamsong]

It had no ornaments, no jewels, no NOTHING!! She thought she was worth more than ten of those boring little rings. Besides, not only did it not match her dress, but her finger was wayyyyyy too small for that ring!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Did Gandalf ever get married?

[Mintyztwin]

Nope. He was in a relationship, with an elf (We won't mention any NAMES!)But she didn't like hobbits. So a'course, "Gandie" left her, I mean, hobbits are way cool!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


What is a hobbits fav. game? smilies/biggrin.gif

[Gwaihir the Windlord]

A primitive and warlike form of golf. It involves finding a marauding orc and, aiming for a nearby rabbit hole, swiping his head off with a club.

-----------------

What went through Gollum's mind as he plunged into Mount Doom?

[Diamond18]

What is this thing called life? What makes the sun rise and set? What makes the moon orbit around the earth? Why does the caged bird sing? How do you solve a problem like Precious? How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand? Is there such a thing as a moonbeam, or is simply particles of light? Particles of light are things, aren't they? Oh, I wonder what that stuff down there is? I wonder, will it be my friend?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

How did Ted Sandyman die?

[Gwaihir the Windlord]

On a side note, Diamond; are you sure it wasn't 'Oh no, not again'? smilies/tongue.gif You my friend have been reading the Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy, don't try and deny it. smilies/wink.gif

Ted Sandyman... he was eaten by an angry Entwife because he said he didn't believe in them. Which just goes to show that you shouldn't rule out any possibilities.

-------------------

Who was Gandalf's father, and what was his profession?

[HerenIstarion]

Gandalf's father's name was also Gandalf. He was Gandalf Gandalfsson. But don't you think he was named after his father, nay, he was named after his grandpa, who also was Gandalf. In fact, to be honest, all Gandalf's ancestors were named Gandalf, and those were counted up to 337 generations. Proper way to address any Gandalf was to list all his ancestors by name, so, to show one's politeness one had to say "Gandalfsson" 336 times. All of the family was invloved in piano bussiness, they had their advertisement slogan, which read as follows:

"Gandalfsson family - makers of fine pianos with a magical sound since Thingol was known as Elwe!"

Our Gandalf took the word "magical" of this slogan too literally and became a wizard, instead of becoming a piano master. The Gandalfssons dissaproved of the "betrayal" as they named the event, and took to calling him names, such as Mithrandir (with the meaning of "dirty grey vagabond") and Olorin (dreamer, with the implied meaning of one away from the real world) and Incanus (one gone south, i.e. cracked)

====================================

What were Saruman's hobbies?

[ December 03, 2002: Message edited by: HerenIstarion ]

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Saruman's favorite hobby was bowling. He was immensely proud of his wonderful crystal bowling ball and was extremely irritated when Wormtongue borrowed it, thinking that Merry and Pippin were bowling pins!

° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° °

Did the Blue Wizards wear blue jeans?

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

Almost always. The real reason for their name, though was they formed Middle-earth's first blues combo, singing in inns all along the Anduin.

===========================================

Which people, if any, live around the Ice Bay of Forochel?

[Diamond18]

*gasp* They're on to me! smilies/wink.gif Yes, that was, shall we say, "inspired" by Douglas Adams.

As to the Ice Bay. Forochel was renowned for its figure skating Hobbits: such greats as Alexei Whirlntwirl, Alexei Jumpsalot, Alexei Camelspin and Alexei Fallsonrear (all great skaters are named Alexei) went there to train.

This practice continued until the Freak Winter of 2911, when the Bay did not freeze over, and several Hobbits drowned. Then the Rangers of Forochel (the Bay's other inhabitents) closed off the Bay. Figure skating in Middle-earth has not been the same since.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

How many children did Merry have?

[Adam Sernheim]

42

*******************************

How often did Faramir's left eyebrown twitch?

[Diamond18]

That's right, Adam, 42 is a very important number! smilies/wink.gif

Faramir's eyebrow twitches five times a minute—that's every twelve seconds. It can be rather distracting, especially since it gives you the feeling that he's reading your thoughts with every twitch.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What is a Hobbit's favorite holiday?

[Atariel]

Gay and Lesbian Pride day.


What was Aragorn's mother called (in orcish)?

[hobbitlass]

Ishhak the thug. At least according to the name generator.

What sort of thuggish things did she do?

[mordor136]

she snuck out to take bottles and newspapers to the recycle plant..... what could be worse than that
----------------------------
did legolas own a pet if so what was it

[Raefindel]

Legolas was known to have a pet Dwarf. He was so fond of it he took it for a field-trip to it's favorite caves.

##################################

Who built Galadrie's Mirror?

[Mintyztwin]

Roger the Mirror man.


++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Why did Elrohir and Elladin ride around so much? (I'm not sure about the spelling. Is that correct?)

[Raefindel]

Because their arms were getting tired.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%*

What did Galadriel grow in her garden?

[Mintyztwin]

garlic, to ward of the Ringwraiths. Oh, and a few silverbells, and cockleshells, and some elf-maids all in a row!

********************************************

How many wraiths, could an elf-lord face, when an elf-lord would face wraiths?

[Diamond18]

An elf-lord would face as many wraiths as an elf-lord could face when an elf-lord would face wraiths. (Or, 42).

~~~~~~~~~~~~

What was the happiest day of Túrin Turambar's life?

[Gwaihir the Windlord]

The day he was put under Glaurung's spell. It was the magical equivelent of being high; for a while he didn't have to think; since his entire life, including his thoughts, were dark and morbid, this was a very well-deserved break for him.

+++++++++++++

What was the official Bureau of Statistics estimate for the percentage of people killed in the War of the Ring over the general population of Middle-Earth?

[Mintyztwin]

74.32345722229%. Of this, 24% were men, 14% were Elves, and the rest was orcs and other evil creatures. And one Ringwraith.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Why do orcs serve Sauron?

[Tyler]

Because a bunch of orcs were playing baseball and one of them broke his window.
--------------------------------------------
From what region did Sauron get help from men?

[ December 05, 2002: Message edited by: Tyler ]

[ December 05, 2002: Message edited by: Tyler ]

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

Kidderminster.

----------------

Where did Sauron briefly set himself up as a necromancer?

[ December 05, 2002: Message edited by: Squatter of Amon Rudh ]

[latando angaina]

well, I can't list the whole bunch of places he visited, since he joined with the crew of wondering circus. He had a tent with an inscription - Necro the Magnificent, fortunetelling, spiritism, hiromanty. He had a cristal globe for those purposes, but it was always showing bad things, namely bearded oldmen, pirate ships and grimacing dudes with long fangs, so customers were not too happy, which is usually main ground of income. Necro the Magnificent dreamt of gaining fortune, but, poor fortune teller as he was, decided to take up his older profession of world conqueror and returned to Mordor. Which prooves how bad he was at aforesaid fortune telling, otherwise he would have been able to foresee the end of it all, would not he?


=====================================

who were green faced long fanged dudes in Necro's crystal ball?


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<font color="FF0013">with the kind permission of the owner, and due to technical problems, LA account is currently used by HerenIstarion

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[ December 05, 2002: Message edited by: latando angaina ]

[the real findorfin]

SCHOOL!

For awakening dead students!

---------------------------------

Why did Miriel die (of grief, I think not!)

[latando angaina]

well, we did it almost at once, but i was a minute ahead smilies/smile.gif so I;m going to answer findorfin's question and get back to mine:

Miriel died because she saw grimacing green faced long fanged dudes in Necro's ball!


===========================


who were those green faced long fanged dudes she saw in Necro's ball?

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<font color="FF0013">with the kind permission of the owner, and due to technical problems, LA account is currently used by HerenIstarion

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[ December 05, 2002: Message edited by: latando angaina ]

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

Alatar and Pallando. They had a nasty accident with a volatile magical experiment. All ended well, though: they managed to join a travelling freak show and found fame and fortune.

-----------------------------------------

Where exactly is Khand?

[Aylwen Dreamsong]

It's their equivalent of the North Pole, I would think you knew that!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Does Saruman have a pet?

[Diamond18]

Yes, and his name is Lurtz. Gríma Wormtongue used to be his favorite pet, but Lurtz supplanted him, and that's the real reason Gríma killed Saruman. Just before slitting his throat his whispered in his ear, "That'll do, Gríma, that'll do!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What is a Haradrim wedding like?

[Adam Sernheim]

o I wouldn't stick a round one of those. you get free cake, homemade by Shelob.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Why didn't the Green Dragon catch fire?

[Tyler]

Thay only served O' Douls and we all know that doest have near enough alcohol in it to start a fire.
============================================
Whay did the Nazgul use for transportation?

[Aylwen Dreamsong]

Didn't you hear? The Nazgul started using dolphins for transportation years ago! Friendly little creatures, aren't they (The dolphins, I mean)?

!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*

Who was Galadriel's best friend?

[Galadel Vinorel]

Sauruman, of course. That's why she wouldn't let the Ring-bearer stay for too long in Lothlorien. smilies/biggrin.gif

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Who was Gandalf's greatest enemy?

[Mintyztwin]

His evil twin brother, Randolf the Red Couch Potato. He always stole the remote when he and Gandalf were little.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Why did Gandalf's mom allow this to go on?

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

It's difficult to say. Do not meddle in the affairs of mothers as they are not at all subtle and always angry.

--------------------------------------------

Why was Bilbo's party long-expected?

[Tower of Moon and Shadow]

it was long expected because it was his 111th birthday It was long expected because it was his 111th birthday

[Gwaihir the Windlord]

Heh, welcome to the downs , but in future make sure you at least read the first post of a thread so you know what's going on.

I spose anyone can go now, so I'll ask.

===========

How many times did Bilbo nod before he fell asleep (approx.)?

[Galadel Vinorel]

One time. That old hobbit falls asleep very fast. zzzzzzzzzzzzz smilies/biggrin.gif

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Why was Biblo so tired that he felt asleep that fast? (what made him that tired?)

[Mintyztwin]

He had sleep apnea. All that elvish wine didn't help either.

!!&&!!&&!!&&!!&&!!&&!!&&!!&&!!&&!!&&!!&&!!


What exactly are the ingredients of miruvor?

[Aylwen Dreamsong]

Sugar and spice and everything nice smilies/wink.gif


!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!

What was Elrond going to name Arwen, until Celebrian (for some reason my new computer won't make those cool little 'I's' sorry!) convinced him otherwise?

[latando angaina]

James Rudolph Nicholas, or, shortly, Jim

==================================

Do Nazgul have nightmares?

===================

<font color="FF0013">with the kind permission of the owner, and due to technical problems, LA account is currently used by HerenIstarion

===================

[Diamond18]

Yes, despite what Anakin says, Nazgûl do have nightmares. The most common dream they have is one in which they sense that their mothers are in pain. Then, they can hear Mum calling out to them, "I told you never to accept Rings from strangers!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Why is Elrond called "Half-elven"?

[Eruwen]

Cause he only has enough wits to match up to half of what an Elf is. (I think that Agent thing is getting to him. Right, Lindolirian? smilies/wink.gif )
-----------------------------
Why does Gollum always say "My Precious" when referring to the one ring?

[ December 08, 2002: Message edited by: Eruwen ]

[Diamond18]

Because he has an affectionate and loving nature, and is given to using expressions of fondness.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What does "Uglúk u bagronk sha pushdug Saruman-glob búbhosh skai" mean?

[Aylwen Dreamsong]

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year


!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!

What's Elrond's lucky number

[Raefindel]

I think his lucky number is 1/2!

????????????????????????????????

Why did Legolas bring Elves from Mirkwood to Gondor?

[Donlammenion]

To go on a pub Crawl !!!!!!!!!


Why does legolas never run out of arrows????

[Eruhen]

For all you D&D fans out there: He had a bag of holding filled with arrows.

Who was Legolas' best friend?

[Atariel]

Legolas, being too mature, too spoiled by his father and too prince-ish (not to mention too good-looking) went through the 1st 3000 years of his life as a loner, not including his imaginary friend Thalifen. thally and leggy did everything together. They frollicked in the valleys, sung from the mountains, and often enjoyed a spot of orc hunting, too. when Legolas met Gimli, he cruelly spurned Thalifen and, as a result, couldn't see a mountain, a valley, or an orc without shooting a commemerative arrow. My advice to you from this sad tale is: when in doubt, shoot.


what did elves give to eachother on the twelfth day of Christmas?

[Raefindel]

An ELVIS album was a very popular one!
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Who was Smaug's Mother?

[Diamond18]

Ha! I loved the moral of your story, Atariel, I must say. smilies/smile.gif

As to Smaug's mother...her name was "Girl Dragon". She had large, sparkly white teeth. She heard from her food all the time that she must bleach or something, because she had one dazzling smile. And there was a hint of minty freshness in her breath. Yes, she was just reeking of feminine beauty.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Who was Smaug's Father?

[ December 09, 2002: Message edited by: Diamond18 ]

[Nimrodel]

That would be "Puff the Magic Dragon" He lived by the Sea and frollicked in the Autumn mists in a land called "Honnily".

**************************

Why was Radagast called "the Brown"?

[Eruwen]

Oh c'mon, who wasn't? That was so the fad in those days. He was just keeping up with the latest trends.
-------------------------------
What was Aragorn son of Arathorn's OTHER name?

[Mintyztwin]

Mud. smilies/biggrin.gif


What was Gimli's moms name?

[Diamond18]

Filí Snowmail (which happens to be my Dwarvish name...yes...Gloín and I go way back).

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What imspired the Witch-king most?

[Lady_Báin]

to keep his hands soft and young looking, and also to keep his girlish figure.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

why did saruman betray the alliance?

[Atariel]

he'd read in a book of elvish lore that loyalty was going to go out of fashion in the year 3019 of the 3rd age, and that Mordor was a good, charitable organisation to be with. of course, Saruman loved to keep up to date.


did Frodo secretly fancy a hobbit lass? if so, who?

[Diamond18]

Yes, and her name was Pipsissewa Bogbottins, from Hardbottle. Despite her lovely name (which means "flower of the wood") she was a very homely girl, the youngest of 23 comely sisters. This gave her an insecurity complex that got in the way of the relationship, because no matter how much Frodo told her that her inner light shined through and that he thought she looked just fine, the way she constantly bemoaned her looks finally got to him. Plus, Bilbo was against the match, as she was of the lower classes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What gifts do Ents give each other on birthdays?

[Galadel Vinorel]

High heel shoes, of course!! The tallest ent is always the coolest ent. smilies/biggrin.gif

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What did Sam give Frodo for his 33rd Birthday?

[Eruhen]

A box of a 'special' kind of pipeweed that Sam had found on his travels in the South.

Why did Sam give Frodo this gift?

[Diamond18]

Because Frodo had no idea that Sam had been on travels prior to his 33rd birthday, and Sam wanted to tell him in a unique sort of way, and so he surprised him with this souvenir.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

How many children did Faramir and Éowyn have, what were their names, and what were they like?

[Atariel]

they had five children, called Sharon, Tracy, Kevin, Perry and Garry, and they were all charming, with beautiful skivvy shaved heads, and full sets of Kappa clothing. Oh joy!

What was Elrond's middle name

[Aylwen Dreamsong]

Bernard


!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!

What was Arwen's favorite food?

[Galadel Vinorel]

Orc tongues!! A real delicacy in Rivendell. Yummy!! smilies/biggrin.gif

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What is Sam's favorite place in Middle Earth?

[Mintyztwin]

The Dead Marshes. The night-life there was great.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Who took Rose Cotton to all the hobbit dances while Sam was partying in the Dead Marshes?

[Diamond18]

She always went with one of her brothers as her escort, but a different one for each dance...depending on who looked the best with her outfit that night. What, you thought she was two timing Sam? Heavens!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What was Ghan-buri-gahn's secret aspiration?

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

Isn't it obvious? He wanted to become the greatest warlord that Middle-earth had ever seen. He wanted to be accounted great among the wise, and to have men flee before his grim countenance. And he wanted a puppy of his very own.

-------------------------------------------

After whom is the Lieutenant of Morgul named?

[HerenIstarion]

Since is is widely known that Lord of Morgul is Santa Claus, is not it obvious that his Lieutenant is named after one of his deer, Rudolph? Still more Lieutenant is not teetotaller at all (on the contrary, and the job so very nervous with all of this collection of toys and presents) and has a reddish nose


==========================


Do you think Smaug was happy dragon?

[ December 13, 2002: Message edited by: HerenIstarion ]

[Aylwen Dreamsong]

He was only happy when his cousin Barney came to visit. smilies/rolleyes.gif

!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!

What were Arwen's daughters named?

[ December 13, 2002: Message edited by: Aylwen Dreamsong ]

[Diamond18]

Eswen, Teewen and Uwen.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Who did they marry?

[HerenIstarion]

Burragorn, Arahobbit and me respectively


===============================


Did Barliman accept credit cards? If yes, what brands?

[hobbitlass]

Breesa, Explorer, Master-of-all-Middle-earth-card, Strider Express.
*********************************************
What was the Mouth of Sauron's given name?

[Eruwen]

The Tooth Fairy
---------------------------------
Who did Pippin and Merry meet in the Fangorn Forest?

[Manardariel]

James Bond
**********************+
Who did Eowyn marry in the end??

[Aylwen Dreamsong]

One of Santa's Elves

!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!

How did the Dwarves of Erebor celebrate Birthdays?

[ December 14, 2002: Message edited by: Aylwen Dreamsong ]

[Diamond18]

Edit: Oops! D'oh, I didn't see that we're on page 22 now...so this is in answer to Eruwen's question "Who did Merry and Pippin meet in Fangorn Forest?":

Barliman Butterbur's evil twin brother, Bugabear Butterbur. He was in exile, of course, because of his evilness. But for some reason the Ents took a shine to him (perhaps it was because he was a bit slow in the head) and they allowed him to live in the forest. There he made the acquaintance of several bad-hearted Huorns, and they got along pretty well. When Merry and Pippin happened by, he attempted to seize them and eat them for his dinner, but Treebeard stepped on him and that was the end of that.

As to the Dwarves of Erebor, they celebrated Birthdays by showering the birthee with gold and jewels, while dancing in circles around him/her singing "Happy Birthday to You" in Dwarvish.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As I was walking one day, I saw a Wizard on the way. The Wizard carried seven sacks, and in each sack there were seven cats, and each cat she had seven kittens, and those kittens they had seven mittens. "These cats and kittens with their mittens," the Wizard said to me, "are for the Hobbit lads and lasses, but answer me these riddles three...how many cats, kittens and mittens do I carry as I passes?"

[ December 14, 2002: Message edited by: Diamond18 ]

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

Twelve of each and a bottle of pickled rhubarb. Wizards always carry a bottle of pickled rhubarb. Nobody knows why.

-------------------------------------------

Who was the founder of the Riddermark and how did he acquire the land?

[ December 14, 2002: Message edited by: Squatter of Amon Rudh ]

[Tyler]

Balin and he won it in a crooked poker game.
--------------------------------------------
Why did the fellowship go to Moria?

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

Two reasons: they wanted to do some sightseeing and Balin owed Gandalf some money (how those dwarves love to gamble).

-----------------------------------------

According to an ancient piece of lore, what heirlooms were rescued from the fall of Númenor?

[Diamond18]

Seven bowling balls in assorted colors and sizes, a pair of argyle socks, a catalytic convertor, Elendil's secret sloppy joe sauce, a toy poodle, and a fuzzy kumquat.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What was Quickbeam/Bregalad's name in Entish?

[ December 15, 2002: Message edited by: Diamond18 ]

[Eruhen]

Hrooomba-homba-iggy-ziggy-wig-wag-zoom. This means "Ent who likes to talk fast and hang out with short creatures with hairy feet".

Since we seem to be on Ents here, what happened to the Entwives?

[mordor136]

They went south because they wanted to move to a warmer climate. They eventually became palm trees.
**********************************
Why was Aragorn really called Strider? smilies/eek.gif

[ December 16, 2002: Message edited by: mordor136 ]

[Diamond18]

It's an acronym for his Entish name, which translates into Westron as "Sweaty, stinky human with stringy hair who likes to hang out with creatures who have hairy feet."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

How did the people of Bree come to use an acronym for an Entish name?

[hobbitlass]

Diamond18, you kill me with your essay questions! smilies/biggrin.gif
They had to use acronyms, it shortened the Entish names. After all, most Bree-landers couldn't remember their own!

So that means Barliman is an acronym, what is it?

[Raefindel]

Big
Air-headed
Resident
Living
In
Much
Anguish
Now
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Why wouldn't Gimli ride a horse?

[Eruhen]

When he was a child, Gimli had a horrible experience with a horse. He went to a rodeo that the Dalemen had once and almost got trampled by a bronco. He would wake up in the middle of the night for at least the next two years, screaming about a horse crushing him. He ended up carrying this psychological baggage with him the rest of his life, and it took some serious therapy by Strider Freud for him to get rid of it.

---------------------------------------------

Where did the Hobbits originally come from?

[Diamond18]

Munchkin Land. There they lived in utterly insipid conditions, enslaved by Glinda, Wicked Witch of the North. Then one day a house landed on top of her and out stepped Tom Bombadil. After they sang some really insipid songs to him, like "She's not just merely dead, she's really most sincerely dead" Tom wiped the tears from his eyes and said, "Poor little things. I'll take them back to Middle-earth with me. There I will wash the make-up from their faces and give them decent clothes to wear, and teach them some real songs, like 'Hey dol derry dol'."

This he did, out of the goodness of his heart, and Middle-earth was never quite the same again (and Munchkin land was overrun by Flying Monkeys, who sang "They're not just merely gone, they're really most sincerely gone").

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Another essay question. smilies/biggrin.gif What remnants of Munchkin culture still survive in the Shire?

[Raefindel]

The Lollypop League still existed when at the close of our story. It was re-established soon after Tom brought the Munchkins to Middle-Earth. In fact, Tom was the first recipent of the Lollypop of honor in all of Middle-Earth.

#########################

Did Legolas' bow have a name?

[Adam Sernheim]

yes, it was Kurt

++++++++++++++

Who were Glorofindels side kick?

[mordor136]

Robin at least until he found out that Batman offered better health benifits.
-----------------------------
why did the orc cross the road

[Diamond18]

To get to the man-flesh on the other side, of course. It was all part of the training program. They had to climb walls, ford rivers, chop down trees, and cross roads, etc. At the end of each task there was a juicy piece of man-flesh waiting for them. Yummy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What was Morgoth's most prized possession?

[Eruhen]

The first thing that he ever made: a pink fuzzy teddy bear with button eyes and a button nose!

What was Suaron's most prized possession?

[Eruwen]

His contacts.

Sauron: I can see you...{Drops contact out of eye} No, wait, hold on a minute young Hobbit. {Finds it and puts it back in.} Ah! I can see you...

{Frodo stares blankly at the eye.}
--------------------------------------
What did Gimli say when at the entrance to the Paths of the Dead?

[Tyler]

At leasts its not Arbys.
============================================
Where did the Hobbits get their swords from?

[Diamond18]

ACME, of course.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What is the hastiest thing any Ent ever did?

[Diamond18]

I really want to know!

[hobbitlass]

Alright! Alright! I will put down my sick twisted answer. I was sure someone else would post a clever one.
What is the hastiest thing ents have ever done? Well, there was the one time they all came down with a nasty bout of ent-draught poisoning...you get the picture.
*********************************************
What was Grima Wormtongues former profession before councellor to King Theoden?

[Eärendil]

An actor, or...sort of. He used to be in a The X-files episode and Child´s Play, among other things. You can see what it became of him because of that...
=======================================
Why is the writings on The Ring in red?

[ December 24, 2002: Message edited by: Eärendil ]

[Nevfeniel]

When Sauron bought his "Make-Your-Own-Ring Kit" at the local Wal-Mart, he found that, contrary to what the commercials imply, you only have two choices of the color of the writings on the band. Sauron's two choices were either red or purple, and Sauron knew that gold goes with red much better than with purpe, so hopefully, that explains everything.
..::Why doesn't Gollum like cooked fish?::..

[Tyler]

Does anyone one like to eat cooked fish?
============================================
Why was Legolas in the Fellowship?

[Aylwen Dreamsong]

Gimli needed someone to braid his hair and beard.

!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!

What is Gimli's favorite Holiday?

[Tyler]

Wacking Day(only Simpsons fans will get that one.)
============================================
What was the Elvish word for death?

[Aylwen Dreamsong]

Arrow (Sorry, isn't very funny...)

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

What did the Fellowship do to celebrate Gimli's birthday before they set out on their Quest?

[Taure Leafsilver]

They took him to Ryan's and the people there sang to him while he hid underneath the table.
!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!
Why is Grima so scary looking?

[Laivine]

Because he wanted look like an elf, but the waiting list for Look-Like-An-Elf-Operations was so long, instead he tried to do the operation on himself. And for some reason, that didn't go very well.
---------------------------------------------
Who wears yellow boots, and has a song for everything?

[ December 26, 2002: Message edited by: Laivine ]

[Aylwen Dreamsong]

My friend's baby sister Amy (She just loves those rain galoshes! Not to mention her singing voice).

!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!

What was Galadriel's favorite species of bird?

[Laivine]

The crows, because they made the most beautiful sound she had ever heard.
---------------------------------------------
What was Frodo's middle name?

[ December 26, 2002: Message edited by: Laivine ]

[Nevfeniel]

George.
..::Why did Frodo cut the hand from the Barrow-Wight?::..

[Aylwen Dreamsong]

He thought it would look cool for Halloween

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Who is Galadriel's favorite relative?

[Diamond18]

Her evil twin sister, Gillareaweniel. They got along smashingly in their youth, but Gillareaweniel, unfortunately, became a servant of Ungoliant. Though it isn't known for sure, it is belived that she eventually became a meal of Ungoliant. But sometimes when Galadriel looks into her mirror she can see her sister again, and a tear of remembrance comes to her eye. Touching, really.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Do Hobbits have wings?

[HerenIstarion]

But yes! That's why they are so quick runners - wings are attached to their toes, pair on each (so how many wings? count it up smilies/wink.gif)

+++++++++++++++++++++++

What if Frodo and Co could get a helicopter?

[hobbitlass]

Ha ha ha, that reminds me of something I read in another forum where Gwahir was wondereing why Frodo didn't ask for a ride to Mt. Doom.
As for a helicopter, that would be disasterous. All of them fighting over who would fly!
************************************************** *
So who would win the fight and get to fly the helicopter?

[Diamond18]

Boromir, of course! He just loves to fly. Boromir the Flighty, they call him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What did Faramir dream about whilst he was feverish?

[Tyler]

Dancing sugar plums
============================================
how many orcs did pippin kill?

[Eruwen]

156!! You see, Gimli and Legolas thought they had the top number while doing their little orc-killing contest. But Peregrin Took, yes, that little fool of a Took, he out numbered both of them! Go Pippin! Hobbits rule!! Ahem...
---------------------------------------
What is a Ringwraith, Nazgul, whatever you want to call them?

[Diamond18]

"Nazgûl" (in the vulgar tongue), or "Ringwraith" (in the rustic tongue), or "Úlairi" (in the noble tongue), is a small white flowering plant that grows in the reigons in and around Minas Morgul. It has no virtue that is know of. But it gives off a sickening, charnel-smell which fills the air with an odour of rotteness, and some have found it handy for warding off annoying relations. Master Samwise Gamgee brought some home from his travels, and marketed it to many eager Hobbits, most notably those related to the Bracegirdles.

It is remembered in this bit of doggerel:

When the confounded relatives come,
And they act really dumb,
And they chatter like a deranged seagull,
Come Nazgûl! Come Nazgûl!
Stinky and dying,
Gets rid of the prying.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Assuming that Sam was not the only one to bring something home to make a profit off of, what did Frodo, Merry and Pippin bring home?

[ January 01, 2003: Message edited by: Diamond18 ]

[Daewen]

Frodo brought back a giant spider, and rented it out as a bug killer

Pippin brought back the palantir, and then wrapped a towel around his head and said he was a fortune teller, charging $5 for each vision from the palantir

Merry brought back Treebeard and Quickbeam, and started a dating services for the local entwives
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ok my question to you is...
Why were Saruman's nails so nicley manicured all the time?

[ January 01, 2003: Message edited by: Daewen ]

[Nari]

All the orcs down in the darkness are actually running a beauty salon. Somebody breaks a nail, Saruman goes down and gets them designed. The Uruk-Hai are the trainees, of course.

My question:

Why are Legolas's eyes brown at some points in the movies?

[Beren87]

*holds back bitter laughter* Obviously because old Orli had some trouble using the bathroom, got a lil full at times you mite say.

--------------------------------------
Why is Gandalf's hat blue?

[King Turgon]

Because the brown eyes Legolas is actually his identical twin brother and they switch places often.

[Nari]

It's so obvious. Gandalf's hat is blue because of Legolas. Before the Fellowship was formed, Gandalf's hat was orange. Legolas mocked him, saying orange was not his color and did not go with his eyes. Gandalf chose a hat in a nice shade of hot pink, but it clashed with his outfit and made him look rather silly. Finally, Elrond had a special hat made for Gandalf for a birthday present, one that would go nicely with his eyes, and also one that was made out of a nice material.

My question: What were the names of the Two Towers and why?

[Diamond18]

Tweedledum and Tweedledee: because they were fond of rattles. 'Tis true...each Tower had a large rattle adorning the pinnicle.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What is the only known cure for a neekerbreeker bite infection?

[Nari]

You make a lembas smoothie and spread it over the bite. Also makes a nice lembas bread dip.

Question: Who does Gimli's hair and beard? And how does Gimli pay?

[Glaurung]

galadriel does his hair and he pays her with erotic dances

What do nazgul do or fun?

[Daewen]

The nazgul, being the very social creatures that they are, enjoy shopping, bowling, and going out to see movies with their friends. If they want some alone time, they primp themselves in Galadriel's mirror, and test out the newest Mary Kay prouducts.

Who styles the Hobbits foot hair?

[Nari]

Peter Jackson, of course. After a terrible experiment he was working on, using rogaine and dorito's 3d's, he was transported to middle earth. He ended up at Bag End, to be exact, and immediately became friends with a young Bilbo. He encouraged him to add braids and pretty multicolored beads to his foot hair. After being transported back, alongside his assistant Chris Tolkien, he began working on a script to a codename "movie" to show his findings.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Why does Elrond resemble a sheep?

[ January 02, 2003: Message edited by: Nari ]

[lightwave15]

Elrond resembles a sheep because of an unfortunate episode way back in his family. His father had a thing for farm-yard animals, need I say more.
---------
What does Gandalf take, in the movies he seems to look more and more stoned. Especially when he stares at nothing after saying about how he flew through the darkness of space. So - what is Gandalf actually on?

[Diamond18]

Everyone knows that it's pipeweed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What was Galadriel and Finrod's favorite thing to do together?

[Nari]

Switch Celeborn's perfume with raid and then watch him spray himself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Who is Arwen secretly in love with?

[Aylwen Dreamsong]

My cat, Genarol Posy. smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/rolleyes.gif

~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Who pretends to be Eowyn's fairy godmother?

[Nevfeniel]

Arwen. She does it so she can keep tabs on Aragorn and also keep Éowyn away from him.
..::Why do hobbits like mushrooms (no drug jokes, please)?::..

[Daewen]

Mushrooms? What on earth are you talking about? My Lord, Hobbits, don't like mushrooms, they positivly hate them! In fact, Hobbit's are such picky eaters, one might almost call them anorexic.

What is an entmoot?

[hobbitlass]

Eet ees noot wot, eet ees whoo. Shee's me mum's seestur, me Ent Moot. Shurt foor Mootriana.
*********************************************
Some of the orcs that captured Merry and Pippin asked about them giving good sport. What sport would that be?

[Daewen]

**that was a very clever reply hobbitlass**

The Hobbits are champion track runners, and the orcs asked Merry and Pippin for some tips to improve their speed. When the two Hobbits told them that it might help if they got rid of some of the heavy things things they were carrying, they dropped Merry and Pippin off in Fangorn forest (they were very heavy) and then ran away to Greece to enlist in the olympics. Why else do you think all ancient Greek statues and paintings had such ugly people in them? They were not people at all, in fact...they were orcs. Now you know the truth.

When Frodo, Merry, Pippin, and Sam ran away to Great Britian to create a rock band, what did they name it and why?

[Diamond18]

Well, there was quite a debate what to name themselves! Frodo was in favor of Frodo and the Rag-Tag-Tagalongs, Sam prefered Samwise and the Gardeners, Merry suggested The Magnificent Four, and Pippin liked the sound of Pheriannath Princes.

Eventually (after much arguing)they decided on The Travellers, as that is what they were known as in the Shire. Their first big hit was "I've Been Through Mordor on a Fell-Beast With No Name" followed by the platnium chart topping, "Sweet Rosie Gamgee" (with Sam singing lead vocal and the others just kind of humming). But they are best remembered for the mega-hits, "Tooks Just Wanna Have Fun" and "My Precious".

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What has six legs and flies?

[ January 03, 2003: Message edited by: Diamond18 ]

[Daewen]

My little brother Weston.

Where did Eowyn and Faramir go on their honeymoon?

[Nari]

Mount Doom of course! The roaring volcano, seething flame, hot danger lurking nearby... *purr*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What happened when Arwen first introduced Aragorn to her daddy?

[Daewen]

Elrond fell in love with him and Aragorn left Arwen to be with her father.

Who are Gollums parents?

[Nari]

Saruman and Gandalf. They had to keep each other company on those long lonely nights... Gollum recieved Saruman's hair and Gandalf's eyes. Frodo was not so curious to ask whose body shape Gollum took after. Gandalf did not want to admit to mothering Smeagol, so he convinced Frodo to pity him. After all, it isn't too hard to pity a creature whose father is a creepy, well manicured evil guy and whose mother is a large bearded wizard.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What was the first thing Rosie said to Sam?

[Daewen]

The first thing Rosie said to Sam was "Move you fat lazy arse out of my way you stupid dolt!" This occured when a group of teenage hobbits (sam and rosie included) went into the Old Forest to see the legendary singing sensation Tom Bombadil perform, and Rosie, who was head over heels in love with Tom, was intent on getting his autograph. In the frenzy to get to him, she pushed aside and insulted all that got in her way.

Where did Galadriel get her mirror?

[ January 03, 2003: Message edited by: Daewen ]

[Aylwen Dreamsong]

Pier One imports.


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

What did Elladan and Elrohir really want to be when they grew up?

Aylwen

[ January 03, 2003: Message edited by: Aylwen Dreamsong ]

[Beren87]

They always dreamed of owning a hardware shop..

Congrats on the "Ghost Prince of Cardolan" Aylwen! smilies/biggrin.gif

_______________________________

What did the hobbits find in the Barrow-downs?

[Nari]

The biggest darn Backstreet Boys fanclub between Hobbiton and Mordor!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What is Pippin's biggest secret?

[Aylwen Dreamsong]

He is bald! Don't tell anyone! He got the wig cheap. Only a few dollars. smilies/biggrin.gif

Thanks, Beren!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Who was Gandalf's favorite singer?

[Daewen]

Tom Bombadil of course! Did you seriously think he went to the Shire for Bilbo's party? Uh uh, he went because he knew Old Tom was holding a concert!

Who is Arwen Evenstar?

[Nurumaiel]

Arwen Evenstar is Eowyn's twin sister who grew up thinking she was an Elf, all because Galadriel kidnapped her at a young age and brought her to Rivendell, forseeing that Aragorn would fall in love with her, and wanting to make their story more interesting.
++++++++++++++++++++
Why did Smeagol want the Ring back so much?

[Gamja]

A: Gollum actally has a girlfriend. Seeing that Men and Elves would shoot him on sight and Dwarves are so rare these days, he simply could not geta ring legaly. So he stole one from Sauron and that is also why Gollum got tortured by him.

Q: Who was Sharku?

[Daewen]

My little brothers best friend, also known by the name of Marty Ordinans.

(also Gamja...who is Sharku?)

Who were the top 5 hottest celebraties in the most recent issue of Middle Earth Teen People?

[Eruwen]

Nazguls Numbers 2,3,5,7, and 9. There were so much hotter than the other Nazguls! smilies/wink.gif
--------------------------------------
What great disfigurement did Frodo return to the shire with after Mount Doom? {Hint: They wrote stories about this ---- -------- Frodo}

[Diamond18]

Well, I can't possibly give you the right answer, so keep your hint! smilies/tongue.gif

Frodo came home with one of his eyes poked out. Yes, Sam only thought that it was Shelob's eye he punctured. In his mad frenzy he acidentally stabbed Frodo as well. So Frodo was known as the One Eyed Hobbit, and wore different colored patches to go with his different outfits. You can't say that Hobbit didn't have fashion sense (but you could say he didn't have depth-perception. That would be a fair statement). The best looking, best dressed One-Eyed Hobbit in Hobbiton, he was. Yessir.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What did Maglor cast into the Sea?

[Beren87]

His clothes! ITS SKINNY DIPPING TIME!

----------------------------

Who were the guards of the citadel?

[Melime]

Shoprite's CanCan girls, I thought everyone knew that! smilies/tongue.gif
------------
What are the names of all nine Nazgul?

[hobbitlass]

Them? We don't rightly know. They are of the scary folk-black riders we call them. What their right names are we've never heard: but they're known round here as Black, Shadow, Dark, Night, Spook, and 'the others'.
*********************************************
Why can't the Mouth if Sauron remember his own name?

[Daewen]

Because he was brainwashed after watching the Princess Bride repetitivly, and now thinks his name eez Inigo Montoya (ie; Allo, my name eez Inigo Montoya...)

Which charity is Saruman the president of?

[Nari]

The Deciever for the Uruk-Hai fund. You don't want underpopulation in Middle-Earth. And you also don't want lots and lots of pretty little Elves prancing around. Wouldn't *you* like to give your life savings to help Saruman rip down ancient trees and create a race of hideous mass-murderers? Of course you would. Call 1-800-ILOVESAURON today!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Who does Pippin marry?

[Daewen]

My little sister Samantha

Why does Legolas have such clear skin?

[Nari]

Oh, so many reasons. The steady diet of lembas and his cleanser made from clearasil and Galadriel's fountain. Also, the fact that the makeup crew puts so much pancake on him that any blemishes are covered and buried. Being a supercool rolemodel elf prince must be so tough...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Why does the Balrog hate Gandalf so much?

[Daewen]

They had a rough breakup a few ages back and the poor fire deamon still hasn't quite gotten over it...

Who does Arwen marry?

[Nari]

Leonardo DiCaprio.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What is Galadriel's natural hair color and who dyes it for her?

[Daewen]

She naturally has moldy green hair, which is totally out this season, so obviously she goes to the best hairdresser in Middle Earth...the Balrog! He can work wonders, believe me...

Why is Sauron's eye always red?

[Nari]

Because in the second age he killed Ben Stein, and now he'll never get Clear Eyes- for dry, red eyes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What was Saruman's major in college?

[Daewen]

Actually, Doctor Saruman had a double major. He recieved his PHD in both Enviromentalisim and Humanitarian Practices. He travled all around middle earth aiding third world civilizations that had been torn apart by war or poverty. He recieved the Nobel Peace Prize in 69916 of the First Age for his wonderful work helping the undereducated Orcs of Mordor. He is now the president of an Orc chairity.

Why did Tom Bombadil drop out of high school?

[Nari]

He got pregnant and had to become an exotic dancer to support his son.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Where was Sam born and what was the special thing that happened at his birth?

[Aylwen Dreamsong]

He was born in the Washington D.C. Zoo, a few minutes before the Polar Bears broke out of their habitat.

~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
What's Aragorn's favorite place to go when he is bored?

[Nari]

He likes to go to the Lothlorien and play Twister with Galadriel.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What is Legolas's perfume called and where does he get it?

[Nevfeniel]

It's common knowledge that Legolas loves wearing Eau de Sweat. He got it from his sweat glands.
..::Why didn't Old Man Willow like the hobbits?::..

[Diamond18]

Well, there are two theories. One suggests that they were wearing Eau de Sweat, and the Willow hated the scent. The other is that Pippin threw a stone at him. Pippin denies this hotly, and will spray you with Eau de Sweat if you suggest it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What happened to Radagast after the War of the Ring?

[Nari]

He was kinda old so he went off to Florida and bought himself a condo. He now spends his days on the patio by the above-ground pool telling the other inhabitants of how the world used to be and how much better it was.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What is in Saruman's cd player right now?

[Daewen]

Saruman is listening to a CD mix that Frodo burned for him, that contains songs from The Travelers (Frodo, Merry, Pippin, and Sam's Rock n Roll band), Five Crazy Orcs, and Tom Bombadil. A few of his favorites on this CD include;
Tooks Just Wanna Have Fun, Hey Dol, and Burn Baby Burn (Ringwraith Inferno)

What club is Tom Bombadil an Exotic DAncer at? (I'm not asking this for any particular reason...really! It's not like I wanna see him. Just ignore the pen and paper I'm holding to scribble down directions...)

[ January 05, 2003: Message edited by: Daewen ]

[Nari]

The Crooked Bow Club. It's in Bree. All Elves, Hobbits, and Elves who like Hobbits are welcome. Go to the Prancing Pony. Walk straight past it until there is an alleyway to your left. Take this alleyway and push past all the people. Do not, under any circumstances speak to them or seem interested in what they are selling. Walk right at the third trash can you come across. There will be a big wall and a Hobbit in a Speedo there. Tell him your name and your drink of choice and he will let you into the club.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Who was Sam's first crush?

[Daewen]

Me of course! I'm Frodo's cousin, and I was visting him when I saw Sam working in the garden. I have a soft spot for gardeners, and I started flirting with him...and the rest is history.

What was Bilbo's first book about?

[Nevfeniel]

Since everyone knows that Bilbo was a child prodigy and was able to read and write chapter books at the age of two, Bilbo wrote about things he knew and all of his experiences. The first of many books was titled The Art of Throwing Mashed Peas Against the Wall and it was the number one best-seller for three weeks in a row.
..::What was the name of Gollum's beloved pet cat?::..

[Nari]

Gollum's cat was named Woofles. Nobody knew why, but Gollum seemed to love it. Woofles was last seen lurking about Gollum's cave and meowing until Bilbo stole it. Gollum muttered "Shire... Baggins..." because Bilbo had stolen his cat. And also a ring he had too.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What was Gimli's mother's name and what did she do?

[Diamond18]

Her name was Glockenspiel and she loved to make music. Gimli and Glóin were often up past midnight dancing and singing along with her beautiful melodies. Ah, those were the days. Then, unfortunately, she ran off with a Timpani player from the Iron Mountains, who actually turned out to be an Orc in disguise (eh, throw a fake beard on an Orc and he can easily pass for a Dwarf). Glockie learnt her lesson well...never leave a loving family for a flashy musician. It's bad. Don't do it. Do you hear me, Dwarflasses? I said DON'T DO IT!!!

*This message has been brought to you by DADD, Dwarves Against Desultry Dwimmerlaiks*

(Sorry piosenniel...it just leapt to my mind).

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If one small bite of Lembas can sustain a grown man for a day, how many bites of Lembas bread would need to be packed for a group of eight companions consisting of two grown Men, four grown Hobbits, one grown Dwarf, and an Elf, for a day and a half of travel?

[ January 06, 2003: Message edited by: Diamond18 ]

[Nari]

uhh... three and a half?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Who is in the picture on Legolas's wall?

[Daewen]

Tom Bombadil!!!!! Legolas has a mad crush on him ever since he saw him at the strip bar. The picture is autographed by tom himself, and legolas says a prayer to it every night before bed. however, im not gonna tell you what the prayer is due to the uh...well...the content of it......


What subject did Frodo need a tutor for?

[Nari]

Chemistry. Luckily Gandalf could show him all thirty types of pipeweed and the reactions they make to one another.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Speaking of Gandalf, who was his first love?

[Arwen the Evenstar]

You should know this. Gandalf's first love was Elrond. Elrond didn't swing that way, though Gandalf does to this day. (Really, Ian McKellen is gay) Gandalf eventually moved one and once again had his heart broken by Saurumon.


Mommy, where do Elf babies come from?

[Arwen the Evenstar]

You should know this. Gandalf's first love was Elrond. Elrond didn't swing that way, though Gandalf does to this day. (Really, Ian McKellen is gay) Gandalf eventually moved one and once again had his heart broken by Saurumon.


Mommy, where do Elf babies come from?

[Beren87]

They are dropped out of the sky by Gwaihir! Explains a lot doesn't it?


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How did Galadriel feel about Feanor?

[Atariel]

Galdriel, being Feanor's neice, had to conceal her true feelings about him by acting like he repulsed her. Another memorable example of this is Eowyn with Grima W. so, she eloped with Celeborn, and that was that. anyway, Feanor died didn't he? it doesn't really matter, does it. he was an evil little bugger that condemned the whole of the Noldorin race wasn't he?

[Atariel]

Oh, sorry, forgot my question:

Why did Frodo want to take the ring to Mordor?

[hobbitlass]

To get the matching ear-rings.
******************************
So why did Sam come?

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

Presumably you want the family-friendly wrong answer, which is that Frodo owed him three months' back pay and he wanted to protect his investment.

--------------------------------------

Whence came the Great Worms?

[Daewen]

From my gardern!

Who is Aragorn's seceret lover?

[Nari]

... I can't help it if he thought I was pretty!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Where do Legolas and Gimli like to go for tea?

[Aylwen Dreamsong]

Where else but my backyard?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

What was Gimli's job before he went and joined the Fellowship?

[Atariel]

He was a lowly washer-upper in the kitchens at Rivendell, which is why he hated the elves so much.

Why did Arwen decide to stay in Middle-earth with Aragorn?

[Diamond18]

Aragorn put a stun collar around her neck, and zapped her if she ever looked West. He wanted her to stay very badly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Where, other than your backyard or garden etc., did the Dwarves originate?

[ January 09, 2003: Message edited by: Diamond18 ]

[Nevfeniel]

It all started when Aulë found a magic pencil that brought anything he drew to life. He put it in his pocket, not knowing it was magic, and took it home and put it in the jar he kept his other writing utensils. One day, he got really bored and decided to make some doodles. He reached for a random pencil, and took the magic one. He drew some short, stocky, bearded creatures, and lo and behold, they came to life.
..::Where did the magic pencil come from?::..

[Aylwen Dreamsong]

How could you not know that the magic pencil came from Aman, when one of Aule's servants spilled pixie dust on the writing utencil.

..::!!Faramir took part in what High-School club/sport?!!::..

[mark12_30]

Faramir never went to High School; that was Faramir's evil twin brother, Clive, who was first string in the Junior Varsity "Pick-On-Short-People-Squad." (Nods to Alphaelin)

***** How can you tell Boromir and Faramir apart?

[Diamond18]

You've hit on one of the favorite practical jokes of those mischevious brothers! Since they were identical twins (it's a little known fact that due to complications, Finduilas was in labor with Faramir for five years) they often pretend to be each other.

In order to tell them apart, simply shout, "The One Ring!" and, Pavlov style, Boromir will start to drool and Faramir will yawn.

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How many Orcs does it take to kill a Dwarf?

[Manwe]

Nine.

One to hold his left leg, one for the right, two for the arms, two holding up his eye-lids, one for holding his head still, one to hold a dwarf-sized mirror and one to shave his beard.

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How many dwarves does it take to kill an Orc?

[Davin]

None. Orcs don't believe in Dwarves...so Dwarves can't kill them.

What does Sauron keep in his attic?

[Nari]

His grandpa. Ever since that terrible tradgedy in the first age where Sauron was having an evil evil meeting and Grandpa Sauron came down and duscussed his bodily functions and how Middle-Earth was so much better when he was young, Grandpa went to live upstairs.

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Who did Sauron marry?

[Aylwen Dreamsong]

That's the thing with evil Maia. They marry many times. Now, do you mean his first wife? Or do you search for his latest wife? Or shall we name them one by one through the ages?

!*!*!*!*!*!*!*

Eowyn's favorite food is?

[Atariel]

Toasted Gondorian sandwiches. if she isn't madly in love with them, she wants to eat them. Luckily, Faramir and Aragorn-both being the rugged and manly type of sexy- escaped her ice-white claws! Beware, for the Lady of Rohan is not White, but Red with the blood of her fallen foes!......


What colour pyjamas does Elrond wear?

[Daewen]

He wears Arwen's purple nightie, because purple really does look fabulous on him. In his spare time, Elrond actually designs PJ's and other types of garments for his own clothing line.

What is the Prancing Pony?

[Aylwen Dreamsong]

It's a popular game in which the players ride the wildest meanest horse in Bree. Whoever stays on the longest wins whatever horse they want.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Who does Aragorn secretly marry?

[Nari]

Aragorn secretly married boromir. it was probably a pity marriage because aragorn knew there could only be one ruggedly handsome member in the fellowship and it sure wasnt boromir. and by the way I don't like toasted gondorian sandwiches. I like creme broulee.

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Who was secretly a hippie?

[ January 11, 2003: Message edited by: Nari ]

[Galadel Vinorel]

Sam was secretly a hippie and used to give peace signs to Gollum and carve them into trees that he went by. smilies/biggrin.gif

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Why did Gollum betray Frodo and Sam to Shelob?

[Nevfeniel]

Because when he came up behind Sam cooking the stew, he overheard Sam muttering about the best way to cook a half-starved wretched schizophrenic.
..::Why didn't Frodo just hop onto the nearest teleporter and transport himself to Mt. Doom? It would've saved him a lot of trouble.::..

[Aylwen Dreamsong]

Frodo really was trying to get in shape. Hobbits do get rather chubby. Those diet pills and low cal diet plans just weren't working for him. smilies/rolleyes.gif

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
What was Boromir's secret hobby?

[Nari]

"polishing the horn of gondor"

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who is arwen's best friend?

[Aylwen Dreamsong]

My little sister. They hang out in Rivendell, painting each others nails, reading 'She-Elf Magazine' and talking about hot elf boys and rugged rangers.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

What is Eowyn's favorite book?

[Diamond18]

"Dr. Dimwitty's 101 Fail Proof Disguises for All Occasions: Parties (Formal and Informal), Gags, Wars (Formal and Informal) and More", by Docter Dwayne D. Dimwitty.

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So why does the caged bird sing?

[ January 12, 2003: Message edited by: Diamond18 ]

[Aragost]

Because somebody was cooking it in thier microwave.
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Why do dwarves carry axes. smilies/confused.gif

[Atariel]

Dwarves carry axes because sledgehammers are inconvenient.


Who do you thin should be the next mayor of Hobbiton?

[Aylwen Dreamsong]

Me of course. Vote for Aylwen Dreamsong! Sure to be the next and best Mayor of Hobbiton! *Walks around handing out pins and hats with her name on them*

Vote for me!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

What was the latest movie to be released in ME and who starred in it?

Aylwen (Mayor of Hobbiton!)

[Atariel]

The Tuckborough Company recently made a movie documenting the life of the Old Took, entitled 'Gerontius, Dead and Loving It'. This gained good box office reviews, and starred Ted Sandyman, and Esmerelda Bolger. This was, however, smashed to pieces after the release of an autobiographical documen-tary made by Hama of Edoras, which starred himself, Lord Eomer, and Grima Wormtongue as the baddy. it features a knuckle-biting horse-chase, and lots of feisty action. rated: five star!


How many hobbits does it take to kill an orc?

[Nari]

one. as long as he has a big tall friend with a bow and arrow.

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what did Elrond name his pet poodle?

[Silmarien]

aelin-laure-alda
meaning: lake gold tree
beacause of his habit of soaking the roots of trees in a golden lake when out for a walk. smilies/tongue.gif

why does Faramir have the dream more often than Boromir?

[ January 15, 2003: Message edited by: Silmarien ]

[Precioussss]

Eating cheese before bedtime.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Why did Thranduil send Legolas to Rivendell?

[Atariel]

Legolas was sleeping too late and not helping with the washing-up, so sevtneenth-cousin-several-times-removed-Elrond agreed to take him off Daddy Thranduil's hands.


What did Gandalf REALLY say to Ioreth in the houses of healing?

[cannedpoatoe]

He said "You should die you big fat clown fish!" Why do hobbits live holes?

[Aylwen Dreamsong]

Their favorite food is worms. Where better to find worms than a hole in the ground?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Which Elf became famous for his victory in the Tour de Rivendell?

[Diamond18]

Glorfindel, and so since he became so fond of bicycling, he decided to give Arwen his horse, Asfaloth. (We just can't get too much mileage from that joke, baby)

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What did Sam name his 13 children?

[Aragost]

Samette, Samuelle, Samule, Samantha, Sammy, Samwiser, Samwiserer, Samwisest, Samiel, Samwise#2, Samwise#3, Samwise#4, and Smeagol.
Which elf lord died during the Battle of Pellenor fields?

[Finiel]

Haldir. He died in Helm's deep in TTT but was reincarnated and again died in Pelennor fields. He loves the dramatic way of being stabbed at the back and at the center of everybody's grief and pity (vanity is everything).

Who uses Galadriel's mirror more often other than Galadriel?

[Nari]

Frodo. Tramping around Middle-Earth with those hairy feet can get really nasty without a good pedicure and footbath.

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What is Celeborn's deepest darkest secret?

[Aylwen Dreamsong]

You do, Finiel! Don't try to deny it! She tried to keep you away from her mirror, but you are so self-obsorbed you just couldn't help yourself! Don't worry though, I hear she's getting you a duplicate for your birthday smilies/smile.gif *

!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!

Who became the most famous writer in Middle-Earth, and what was his/her most famous story/book?

*All comments made about Finiel are totally untrue and posted for the sake of the thread. smilies/biggrin.gif

[Nimrodel]

Good thing you both asked a question, becasue the answers are tied together.

Celeborn's Deepest Darkest secret was his battle with Bulemia, which he finally confessed in his Tell-all autobiography "Confessions of an Elf-Lord.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Did Aragorn ever recieve any battle wounds?

[Nevfeniel]

No because he was too much of a wimp to join any of the fights.
..::How was Glorfindel reincarnated?::..

[Greycloak]

He tapped his boot-heels together and said "There's no place like Middle-earth...there's no place like Middle-earth"

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

What was the name of Queen Beruthiel's favorite cat?

[elven maiden Earwen]

kitty

[Nevfeniel]

Do you have a question?

[Eruhen]

It's been twelve hours. I'll give a question.

Who, besides Celeborn, has also had a best-seller in ME?

[Raefindel]

Arwen had a Best Seller entitled "Taking Charge" the profits from which she used to buy Glorfindel's horse.

************************************

Legolas' bowstrings were made from whose hair?

[Sindae]

Well he takes some hair from the most handsome person he knows so he uses his own.

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why did the entwives leave the ents?

[Atariel]

they forgot their 7000th anniversary


how many orcs did gimli kill at Helm's Deep?

[Aylwen Dreamsong]

One. The thing was chasing Gimli. Then, just before the bridge they were on ended, Gimli stopped. The orc didn't exactly have good reflexes, and thus fell over the edge. I suppose Gimli didn't even kill him at all. All that matters is that Legolas really did win the contest of who killed more orcs.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

What is the most popular children's show on Elf TV?

[Eruwen]

Teenage Mutant Ninja Ents...{hey, it could happen}
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~*What was it about the woods and fields in the Shire that made Frodo love it so much?*~