The Barrow Downs Newspaper

[Lalwendë]

Originally Posted by TheGreatElvenWarrior

Hookbill, the Phantom and Alien this week is horrible! How could you do such a thing!?!?!??!?!?!?!

What Alien is unaware of is that Ye Child possesses fivefold Superhero powers. Like The Trump Of Doom, which renders all foes helplessly immobile due to the toxic gases. And The Power Vomit, a strange force he uses to project noxious substances some distance and can make his opponents blind. Occasionally he also uses his Jet Stream to soak your clothes through, too, so you must leave the room to change and he uses that time to concoct more cunning plans. Then there is also the King Karate Kick, a sinister power which has the ability to swiftly remove your plate of toast from your knee, and is generally a warning of much worse to come. As it's usually followed by the Kraken Wakening, his most powerful force, which has the whole neighbourhood awake and alert and attending to his every whim...

...against such an array of forces mere mortals are powerless...