The Barrow Downs Newspaper

[Hookbill the Goomba]

To the various representatives of the N.A.A.C.P,

We feel it necessary to inform you that the editor of the paper has little or no control over what happens in the world. As a Newspaper we feel it our duty to report on the truth, the whole truth and anything but the truth. Therefore, if cats decide to go on a rampage, we feel the public should know about it. And if we are being paid off by dog companies to stop Alien from getting anywhere near them, so much the better.

Your complaints will be filed in our Iron-filing cabinet and thrown to the lions.

- Sir Alfred "eye disease" Johnson
Head of Downer P-R

P.S. If you object so much, why not write an article about the rabid dogs that are terrorising your back garden right now? (note: please read this after our van has arrived with the dogs)