Monty Python's "There and Back Again" - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

Morthoron · 05-18-2008, 12:11 PM

The March of the Naugrim of Ered Luin (In D minor...well...actually it's in C, but D minor is a more melancholy note and more appropriate for the basso and baritone voices of the Dwarves; unfortunately, marches of this sort require the diatonic scale and a major chord for the horns and such...)

Narrator: Ahem...

(Oh yes, sorry...without further ado, The March of the Naugrim of Ered Luin, which I patterned off the works of John Phillip Sousa, who is American, I know, but who derived much of his material from English influences....)

Narrator: GET ON WITH IT!

(Yes, certainly...bugger)

BUM-BUM-BUM, BA-BA-BA-BUM-BUM-BUM, BUM-BUM-BUM, BA-BA-BA-BUM-BUM-BUM...

We are the dwarves -- of Thorin's band
Our greedy thoughts now often linger
On the gleam of our gold -- in a far-away land
That slipped right through our stubby fingers
But it weren't our fault -- no, not the least
With Smaug in our vaults -- such a fiery beast
We swallowed our pride and started to run
As he burnt all our kin to kingdom come (repeated by Balin the dwarf in baritone: burnt all our kin to kingdom come)

BUM-BUM-BUM, BA-BA-BA-BUM-BUM-BUM, BUM-BUM-BUM, BA-BA-BA-BUM-BUM-BUM

We are the dwarves -- off to Erebor
We are fierce and full of chutzpah
We are the dwarves -- we're three times four (Dumplin: plus me!)
And our names come from the Völuspá
We shall not cease --nor raise a flagon
'Till we’re either deceased -- or kill the dragon
Then count up the swag when the job is done
And get so sloshed that our beards go numb (repeated by Bombur the dwarf in basso: get so sloshed that our beards go numb)

BUM-BUM-BUM, BA-BA-BA-BUM-BUM-BUM, BUM-BUM-BUM, BA-BA-BA-BUM-BUM-BUM

We are the dwarves -- all revenge and desire
We may be short but we're not lagging
We are the dwarves -- and we're in the Shire
To find a burglar the name of Baggins
And by Gandalf's request -- we'll take him for hire
To join in our quest -- If the blighter desires
He’ll get his share when the deed is done
Under contract for a percentage sum (repeated by Dumplin the dwarf in falsetto: dear little Bilbo with the nice tight bum)

*Brief pause to regroup*

BUM-BUM-BUM, BA-BA-BA-BUM-BUM-BUM...

Under contract for a percentage sum...

BUM-BUM-BUM, BA-BA-BA-BUM-BUM-BUM...

Under contract for a percentage s-u-u-u-u-u-m-m-m-m!

Narrator: Very nicely done!

(You don't think the mention of the Völuspá -- an Icelandic Poetic Edda composed by Snorri Sturluson, circa 1220 A.D. -- is too esoteric a reference for our viewing audience?)

Narrator: Not at all; in fact, I'm sure no one is even paying attention to the lyrics. It's the flashy special effects and the buckets of blood and gore they'll be looking for.

(Oh...alright then)

05-18-2008, 12:11 PM	#11
Morthoron Curmudgeonly Wordwraith Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Ensconced in curmudgeonly pursuits Posts: 2,515	The March of the Naugrim of Ered Luin (In D minor...well...actually it's in C, but D minor is a more melancholy note and more appropriate for the basso and baritone voices of the Dwarves; unfortunately, marches of this sort require the diatonic scale and a major chord for the horns and such...) Narrator: Ahem... (Oh yes, sorry...without further ado, The March of the Naugrim of Ered Luin, which I patterned off the works of John Phillip Sousa, who is American, I know, but who derived much of his material from English influences....) Narrator: GET ON WITH IT! (Yes, certainly...bugger) BUM-BUM-BUM, BA-BA-BA-BUM-BUM-BUM, BUM-BUM-BUM, BA-BA-BA-BUM-BUM-BUM... We are the dwarves -- of Thorin's band Our greedy thoughts now often linger On the gleam of our gold -- in a far-away land That slipped right through our stubby fingers But it weren't our fault -- no, not the least With Smaug in our vaults -- such a fiery beast We swallowed our pride and started to run As he burnt all our kin to kingdom come (repeated by Balin the dwarf in baritone: burnt all our kin to kingdom come) BUM-BUM-BUM, BA-BA-BA-BUM-BUM-BUM, BUM-BUM-BUM, BA-BA-BA-BUM-BUM-BUM We are the dwarves -- off to Erebor We are fierce and full of chutzpah We are the dwarves -- we're three times four (Dumplin: plus me!) And our names come from the Völuspá We shall not cease --nor raise a flagon 'Till we’re either deceased -- or kill the dragon Then count up the swag when the job is done And get so sloshed that our beards go numb (repeated by Bombur the dwarf in basso: get so sloshed that our beards go numb) BUM-BUM-BUM, BA-BA-BA-BUM-BUM-BUM, BUM-BUM-BUM, BA-BA-BA-BUM-BUM-BUM We are the dwarves -- all revenge and desire We may be short but we're not lagging We are the dwarves -- and we're in the Shire To find a burglar the name of Baggins And by Gandalf's request -- we'll take him for hire To join in our quest -- If the blighter desires He’ll get his share when the deed is done Under contract for a percentage sum (repeated by Dumplin the dwarf in falsetto: dear little Bilbo with the nice tight bum) Brief pause to regroup BUM-BUM-BUM, BA-BA-BA-BUM-BUM-BUM... Under contract for a percentage sum... BUM-BUM-BUM, BA-BA-BA-BUM-BUM-BUM... Under contract for a percentage s-u-u-u-u-u-m-m-m-m! Narrator: Very nicely done! (You don't think the mention of the Völuspá -- an Icelandic Poetic Edda composed by Snorri Sturluson, circa 1220 A.D. -- is too esoteric a reference for our viewing audience?) Narrator: Not at all; in fact, I'm sure no one is even paying attention to the lyrics. It's the flashy special effects and the buckets of blood and gore they'll be looking for. (Oh...alright then) __________________ And your little sister's immaculate virginity wings away on the bony shoulders of a young horse named George who stole surreptitiously into her geography revision. Last edited by Morthoron; 05-20-2008 at 08:10 PM.