Phantom: The Thread (The Most Important Thread EVER)

[Galadriel55]

Phact: phantom is the alien.

[Oddwen]

Phact: Sauron called himself the Lord of Gifts because the phantom once graced him with his presence.

[Nerwen]

Phact: Sauron came to regret claiming to be the "master of shadows and of phantoms", though.

[Oddwen]

Phact: When the phantom first joined The Barrow Downs, he started his own "Hello" introductory thread. The Barrow-Wight stickied it.

Phact: The last thread the phantom will make will be titled "the phantom Would Like To Announce His Engagement". It will be his last because once he undergoes the complicated and illegal surgical procedure required to marry oneself, he will be far, far too busy in real life to bother with his online one.

[satansaloser2005]

Originally Posted by Oddwen

Phact: When the phantom first joined The Barrow Downs, he started his own "Hello" introductory thread. The Barrow-Wight stickied it.

Is it sad that I actually checked to see if that thread had been started by Phantom?

I thought so too.


Phact: All phacts on this thread are true, even the ones "proven" to be false. Or rather, phalse.

Phact: The above phact is phalse.

Phact: I now am spelling all Fs with a PH. Ask Mnemosyne; she can vouch phor the whole phlipping thing.

Phact: Phor reals now, I phrankly think this thread isn't phun anymore. It's been phar too active, and I'm phairly certain the phurry skwerls will not phind it very phunny.

Phact: Doing the above defies spellcheck, because Phantom defies spellcheck.

[Galadriel55]

Originally Posted by satansaloser2005

Phact: Doing the above defies spellcheck, because Phantom defies spellcheck.

Counter-phact: phantom does not defy spellcheck. He dephies it.

[Oddwen]

Phact: Each time that Eru Iluvatar raised his hands during the Music of the Ainur, he was trying to shush everyone so he could listen to the phantom.

Phact: When Aule first made the Fathers of the Dwarves, he was trying to follow the phantom's instructions in making the first Chia Pets. the phantom was so disgusted with the failure that he went told Eru that Aule was playing with Barbies.

Phact: the phantom knew that Finrod Felagund was the Ranger, but attacked Beren anyway.

Phact: the phantom's energy drink of choice is Red Balrog. "It may or may not give you wings".

Phact: the phantom is the Red Bull.

Phact: the phantom is El-ahrairah, Phantom with a Thousand Enemies.

Phact: Soylent Green is the phantom.

Phact: By the command of Morgoth the Orcs with great labor gathered all the bodies of those who had fallen in the great battle, and all their harness and weapons, and piled them in a great mound in the midst of Anfaulglith; and it was like a hill that could be seen from afar. Haudh-en-Ndengin the Elves named it, the Hill of Slain, and Haudh-en-Nirnaeth, the Hill of Tears. But grass came there and grew again long and green upon that hill, alone in all the desert that Morgoth made, and the phantom was wroth, because they had dug up the place where his Chia Pet army was supposed to awaken from. And the phantom forbade any creature of Morgoth to tread thereafter upon the earth beneath which the swords of the Eldar and the Edain crumbled into rust and the pottery shards of the Chia crumbled into dust.

[Oddwen]

Phact: When the phantom looks in the mirror of Erised, he sees only himself. So does everyone else, but they lie about it.

Phact: Sauron revealed then to Gorlim that Eilinel was long dead, and that what he had thought was his wife was the phantom intending to trick him.

Phact: the phantom regularly tosses dwarves.

Phact: Orlando Bloom based his shield and oliphaunt surfing moves on the phantom, who will often slide around on his kitchen floor in his socks.

Phact: the phantom does not sleep. He waits.

Phact: the phantom's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd. No-one fools the phantom.

Shadowphax: There are only four horsemen of the apocalypse because the phantom is going to walk.

Phaxe: the phantom knows how much a woodchuck would chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

Phact: the phantom doesn't read books. He just stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

[Galadriel55]

Phact: our forum will soon undergo a new improvement: the Phantom SunPhorum will be open soon. This thread will be stickied there.

[Oddwen]

Phact: the phandom of the phantom is mainly populated by insane phangirls writing the phantom/The Phantom phanphics, genderbended Phantom and Alien comics, and phar, phar too much rule 34. It's disgusting, but the phantom loves it.

Phact: "Chuck Norris? Isn't he dead? Yeah, the phantom killed him." ~Oliphaunts_Rule

Phact: Chuck Norris's real name is Carlos. the phantom's garbage disposal is also named Carlos. Coincidence?

Phact: When the phantom plays chess, all of his pieces are queens.

Phact: When the phantom plays checkers, all of his pieces are queens.

Phact: the phantom will refill the cup of Galadriel when she finishes her drink. Everyone else has to fill their own.

Phact: Galadriel has only asked for the phantom to refill her glass once. She ended up giving the result to Frodo Baggins of the Shire.

Phact: the phantom owns a little boat that can bear someone ever back across so wide a sea. I hear he's willing to sell it for a song.

Phact: the phantom is the true Lord of the Ring. He's also Lord of everything else, so he doesn't mind if Sauron borrows the title for a little while.

Phact: Every time the phantom walks into a building, the sprinklers go off.

Phact: The Hobbit's love for mushrooms is in honor of the phantom. Because he's known everywhere as being a fungi.

Phact: The Entwives have long since fled Middle-earth. Why? Because the phantom ran through their crops screaming "Run, forest, run!!"

Phact: Dwarves are constantly working hard to try to please the phantom, but they always come up short.

Phact: Due to genetics, the phantom is at a high risk for spontaneous combustion. He does not fear, nor should you, that this will elven happen.

[Galadriel55]

Originally Posted by Oddwen

Phact: the phantom will refill the cup of Galadriel when she finishes her drink. Everyone else has to fill their own.

Phact: Galadriel always refills The Phantom's cup.

[the phantom]

Phact: Hobbits used to live above ground, but when they heard that the phantom had an underground lair, they started digging holes.

Phact: Roads go ever on and on... and they all lead to the phantom's house.

Phact: "Phantom" would have been an acceptable answer to all of Bilbo and Gollum's riddles.

Phact: Faramir once said: "I love not the bright sword for its sharpness, nor the arrow for its swiftness, nor the warrior for his glory. That's what I love the phantom for."

[Galadriel55]

Phact: the phantom is able to possess other beings.

Wait...... isn't that Voldemort?

Phact: Voldemort is the phantom, having some fun.

Phact: the phantom doesn't need a wand to beat everyone else.

Wait... but didn't he die?

Phact: the phantom is deathless. He does not need horcruxes to stay alive.



Phact: I am likely to be scowled at for deviating from Tolkien and the Downs into the Realm of Rowling

[Galadriel55]

Phact: Frodo only stopped raiding Maggot's farm when the farmer told him: "For the love of Phantom, leave my poor mushrooms alone!" And for the love of Phantom he did leave them alone.

[Galadriel55]

Phact: when Gandalf uncloaks, you put on protective eyewear (). When the phantom uncloaks, you ogle ()

[Galadriel55]

...but either way, good phacts are worth repeating.

Phact: the phantom said, "Let there be light!" And there was light. It was the light of his brilliance.

[Galadriel55]

Phact: the only reason Eru allowed the creation of Dwarves is because the phantom took a liking to them.

Phact: you know that the Ring's temptations are all lies because it always says "with me you will be better than the phantom".

[Oddwen]

Phact: He knows when you are sleeping, he knows when you're awake. He knows if you've been bad or good, so be good for goodness sake.

Phact: the phantom has a list, but he only needs to check it once.

Phact: Once night in December, the phantom goes to every house giving gifts to all the good Werewolf players. The bad players get all of their socks stuffed with charcoal and nailed to the wall.

Phact: Watchers of the movie "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer" may not remember a key scene where the phantom sings a jolly song and convinces the reindeer that he is reviled not because of his glowing nose, but because of the strange spelling of his name. The song and resulting scene where Rudolph (né Rudolf) and Hermie visit the North Pole Notary for a legal name change were in the original televised broadcast, but have since been lost.

In a somewhat related Phact: the phantom has tried to suppress the fame and popularity of Frosty the Snowman to little avail.

Phact: the phantom wrote the song "Jingle Bell Rock" to be the worst song ever. His success has been unparalleled in the music industry since. The song's power for evil is so great that it can only be played for a few months during the year, else the entire universe would explode.

[Pitchwife]

Phact: the phantom is the only Downer to have his biography made into a philm in his liphetime.

[Galadriel55]

Phact: the phantom. He is.

[Gwathagor]

To be or not to be, that is the question...which the universe asks the Phantom.

[Nerwen]

Originally Posted by infoleather

The amount of hot air can provide huge head in phantom calories per Charles Hobbit house, in the next decade.

Precisely.

[the phantom]

Now that is a Phantom Phact- a posting without equal on this thread!

(Though Info's post here is probably his best work.)

[Nerwen]

Originally Posted by the phantom

Now that is a Phantom Phact- a posting without equal on this thread!

(Though Info's post here is probably his best work.)

Indeed– pure poetry!