Qs and As for TLOTR but I only want WRONG answers

[elven maiden Earwen]

i stole them smilies/evil.gif !

Who is the ugliest person in middle earth?

[Beren87]

Galadriel o'course! Why else would Gimli find her so attractive?

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What language did Orcs speak?

[elven maiden Earwen]

THE SPOKE THE LANGUGE OF BIRDS WI9T HA LOT OF CAW CAWS AND TOOKIE TOOKIE

Who was Arwens best friend way back in kindergarden? smilies/tongue.gif

[Gil-Galad]

(i don't mean to be racist by this post so don't be offened!)

iraqi so thats why everyone wants to bomb them and steal there weapons

why were Thranduil and Celeborn good firends after wotr? smilies/cool.gif smilies/frown.gif

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

They discovered a mutual love of the music of Spinal Tap. Tap into Eä!

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When did Gimli and Legolas leave Middle-earth?

[ February 16, 2003: Message edited by: Squatter of Amon Rudh ]

[elven maiden Earwen]

5 years ago.

Why did they leave M-E?

[gralin musicteeth]

there's a good sushi place across ocean.

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where did the istari come from?

[Andephelien]

The istari came from San Fransisco.

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What language did the Nazgul speak?

[Lyra Greenleaf]

Latin. I don't know why, but there you go. Maybe they're mad monks?
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Why are there so few women in lotr?

[elven maiden Earwen]

most woman were suicidle.

Why are they suicidle?

[Diamond18]

Hey, it beat doing dishes.

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Who was Dior?

[elven maiden Earwen]

Doir was a leprechaun that no one new about that lived in M-E

Who is the most famous Leprechaun in M-E?

[Hirilaelin]

Captain Holly Short, of the LEPrechaun team. (Artemis Fowl)

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What was Gollum's true name?

[Diamond18]

Ged, Archmage of Earthsea.

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How many times did Frodo put on the Ring?

[Gil-Galad]

FRODO HAD THE RING WOW! smilies/eek.gif

why did gollum trick frodo and sam to Shelobs lair?

[elven maiden Earwen]

he wanted to set the nice hobbitsies with Shelob

Who did Shelob marry?

[Hirilaelin]

Beorn.

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What was the name of the Ent that Merry and Pippin met?

[elven maiden Earwen]

Britney Spears

Who was Quickbeams favorite singer?

[Hirilaelin]

Eminem. (Is that how you spell it?)

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What was the color of Saruman's robes?

[elven maiden Earwen]

hot pink

color of Ragast robes?

[Luthien_ Tinuviel]

Navy blue with stars (traditional wizard clothing). smilies/biggrin.gif

[Aerandir Carnesir]

I'll ask. What did the Fellowship find in Moria?

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

The ship of lost souls.

Who lived in Moria in the 2nd age?

[Gil-Galad]

living dead rats


why was Arnor defeated by Angmar?

[Gil-Galad]

living dead rats


why was Arnor defeated by Angmar?

[Aerandir Carnesir]

Angmar was tired of his name being mixed up with Arnor's.

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How was Arnor defeated?

[ February 17, 2003: Message edited by: Aerandir Carnesir ]

[elven maiden Earwen]

Easy! They came in with boomboxes playing Christina Agulara and the people of Anor prefer Britney Spears. They ran aroung screaming and leaving things in ruin because of the music.

What kind of music did the people of the shire listen too?

[Hirilaelin]

Avil Lavgine. (That how you spell it?)

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What was the other name for Rivendell?

[Lyra Greenleaf]

Elrondville. He had big ideas of himself!
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Why did sauron hate Hobbits?

[Hirilaelin]

Because everyone thinks that they are so much cuter than he is! Those furry feet really hook the elvish babes.

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What did the elves call Gandalf?

[Gil-Galad]

Mac becasue he was the first to give then McDonalads

why did Saruman breed Uruk Hai not something else?

[Aerandir Carnesir]

The Uruk-Hai were the closest thing he could find to giant, man-eating, worrior hamsters.
smilies/tongue.gif smilies/tongue.gif smilies/tongue.gif smilies/tongue.gif smilies/tongue.gif

How were the Uruk-Hai bred?

[ February 18, 2003: Message edited by: Aerandir Carnesir ]

[gralin musicteeth]

With a little startch, yeast, and a touch of red food colouring. (Saruman watched "Martha Stewart" frequently).

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Why did the Wood-Elves not like the giant spiders?

[The Saucepan Man]

Because they kept finding them in their bathtubs.

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Why was Bard so miserable?

[Gil-Galad]

he saw his wife with his dog


why was there all these wars with melkor and Sauron and elves and stuff smilies/rolleyes.gif

[The Ruling Ring]

A nasty disagreement over who should foot the bill.

What is Minas Arnor?

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

It's a type of fungus that grows inside the nostrils. Very nasty. Arwen suffered from it quite badly, which is why she refused point-blank to accompany the Fellowship of the Ring.

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Where should you keep your Athelas?

[Diamond18]

Athelas? Pah, it's just a weed. So put that in your pipe and smoke it! An idea forms...

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It's a little known fact that Shelob was not really the last Spawn of Ungoliant. Who was?

[ February 18, 2003: Message edited by: Diamond18 ]

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

Whimsina Fluffilegs. By then the bloodline was so diluted that Whimsina was actually an orange glove-puppet spider with huge eyebrows and only five legs.

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What distinguishes Men of Harad from other Men?

[Diamond18]

It's their mustaches, white gloves, and tophats. Quite distinguished.

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What was the first thing that the Elves saw upon awakening?

[Gil-Galad]

a big embarassment of then all being naked! smilies/tongue.gif smilies/wink.gif smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/biggrin.gif smilies/eek.gif smilies/biggrin.gif

why did elves help man?

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

It was originally a plot by the Elves to gain support and wipe out the Dwarves. The Elves were really horrible in the 1st age.

Who is the most renowned Dwarf and why?

[Atariel]

sneezy, because he managed to push an entire legion of Moria orcs into a chasm with just one sneeze!


how many times did sam drop his pots and pans after leaving hobbiton and throwing them down a crack on the Gorgoroth plain?

[Gil-Galad]

he lost count becasue he had a string on them and was playing


Why is Cirdan one of the Oldest elves?

[elven maiden Earwen]

because he just is.

Who is the most famous person in ME?

[Diamond18]

Círdan is one of the oldest because he sold his soul to Morgoth, and has a picture stashed away which looks very ugly, to say the least.

It's clean-shaven.

And Círdan is of course the most famous person in Middle-earth, because he's the only ticket out of that dratted place.

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If Bilbo hadn't gone with the Dwarves on the Quest for Erebor, who would have made the number a lucky 14?

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

The most famous person in Middle Earth is Faramir. He's on TV all the time.

And if Bilbo hadn't gone then Gandalf had already lined up Tom Bombadil to go with the Dwarves.

Why is Luthien regarded as the greatest Elf of all time?

[Atariel]

number 14 would have been Gollum, duh!
and luthien is regarded as the greatest elf of all time because she invented deodorant, which saved the elves from the stink of the secondborn forever!


what is a hobbit's favourite non-alcoholic drink? (and i said NON!)

[The Barrow-Wight]

This monster of a thread has run its course (about 30 pages ago). Closing.

Let's *not* start another.

Thanks