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Visit The *EVEN NEWER* Barrow-Downs Photo Page |
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06-15-2008, 06:31 PM
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#1 |
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Curmudgeonly Wordwraith
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Ensconced in curmudgeonly pursuits
Posts: 2,515
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LETTER TO THE EDITOR
Dear Sir, Madam or Cat: I must protest in the most strenuous possible terms the article entitled 'Cereal Box Discovered Having Affair With Toaster'. The very thought of it is absurd! Look, in my part of the country ready-to-eat breakfast foods do not mingle with electric kitchen utensils. It just is not done! You have gone beyond the bounds of decency reporting an odd bit of decadent, amoral and obviously deviant behavior that is certainly outside the realm of culinary taste. Oh yes, I can hear the jokes now: 'What, were they caught spooning?' or 'Oh, she was a real Pop-tart alright!' and so on and so forth, thus trivializing the monogamous and God-given commandments rendered unto food groups and their associated utensils. Steak knives cut meat, butter knives butter bread, toasters make toast, bowls and spoons are made for cereal -- this is the bedrock and foundation of a civilized pantry! What next, electric blenders furtively mixing with salmon? The silver tea set slumming with pork and beans? Bananas lasciviously stripping for the can-opener? It shall be perversion in the pantry! Clammering in the cupboards! Chaos in the kitchen! We shall be knived, scooped and forked before the morning coffee percolates! Cereal killers! Cereal killers and appliance abominations! Sincerely yours, Emma Little-Teapot Short-on-Stout, Harrismehandle, Heresmespout Co. P.S. Sorry for the outburst. Sometimes I get so steamed up, I just shout.
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And your little sister's immaculate virginity wings away on the bony shoulders of a young horse named George who stole surreptitiously into her geography revision. |
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06-16-2008, 06:08 AM
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#2 |
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Silver in My Silent Heart
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: the great beauty
Posts: 1,611
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A modern way of loving one's cat - force-feeding it phantoms.
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06-16-2008, 10:33 AM
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Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Facing the world's troubles with Christ's hope!
Posts: 1,635
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Poor Phantom, he made a simple remark about cats being evil and now everyone is out to get him.
 That first story was hilarious, Hookbill. Do the Downs always dress their astronauts up like Eskimos?
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I heard the bells on Christmas Day. Their old, familiar carols play. And wild and sweet the words repeatof peace on earth, good-will to men! ~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow |
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06-16-2008, 10:45 AM
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#4 | |
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Mighty Quill
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Walking off to look for America
Posts: 2,230
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Quote:
And that picture doesn't look like Eskimos (and if your in Alaska by the way, don't call them Eskimos) The real thing has very colourful clothing. Have you seen the parkas? Very pretty! And Tea can definitely improve your life!
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The Party Doesn't Start Until You're Dead.
Last edited by TheGreatElvenWarrior; 06-16-2008 at 02:11 PM. |
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06-16-2008, 04:28 PM
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#5 |
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Reflection of Darkness
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Polishing the stars. Well, somebody has to do it; they're looking a little bit dull.
Posts: 2,983
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Oh no, my good reputation has been shattered. How did you know I was a drunk?
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Nolite te bastardes carborundorum |
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06-16-2008, 04:42 PM
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#6 | |
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Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Facing the world's troubles with Christ's hope!
Posts: 1,635
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Quote:
Don't worry Brinniel, we know you weren't drunk, it's Rune that we're worried about. 
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I heard the bells on Christmas Day. Their old, familiar carols play. And wild and sweet the words repeatof peace on earth, good-will to men! ~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow |
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06-16-2008, 08:37 PM
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#7 | |
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Mighty Quill
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Walking off to look for America
Posts: 2,230
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Random Quote #741: "I like being in the Downer!"
Quote:
It's a drink some people wake up with That it makes them nervous is no myth Slaves to a coffee cup, they can't give coffee up! I don't like coffee! But I absolutely love tea, that all started when my mom, gramma, my mom's friend and I went for tea in the Empress hotel in Victoria. Before that, I hated tea. But coffee even more so.
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The Party Doesn't Start Until You're Dead.
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06-17-2008, 08:08 AM
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#8 | |
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Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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The Downer has noted your complaints and has forwarded them on to a rival newspaper along with four tons of manure. We trust you will find this an appropriate use of your letter and time. You will be billed for the truck. Yours etcetera, etcetera, Sir Donald Deafears
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
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06-17-2008, 01:36 PM
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#9 |
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Mighty Quill
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Walking off to look for America
Posts: 2,230
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A Question For Hookbill!!!!
I just now noticed that the Phantom and Alien were on week #96, is there going to be something special for week 100 or is it just going to be another week?
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The Party Doesn't Start Until You're Dead.
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06-17-2008, 01:48 PM
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#10 | |
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Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Quote:
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
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06-17-2008, 02:06 PM
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#11 | |
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Mighty Quill
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Walking off to look for America
Posts: 2,230
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Quote:
__________________
The Party Doesn't Start Until You're Dead.
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06-20-2008, 09:20 AM
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#12 |
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Hauntress of the Havens
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: IN it, but not OF it
Posts: 2,538
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Yes, yes, Hookbill, I already get it about tea.
 And the newspaper Phantom was reading tells the truth: stress does cause diarrhea! |
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06-20-2008, 09:31 AM
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#13 | |
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Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Quote:
Poor Phantom.Alright, I'm going to reveal a bit about my plans for The Phantom and Alien 100th episode extravaganza! We're not quite sure what form it will take, but we're pretty certain that is' going to be musical. YES! The Phantom and Alien sing a duet! Anyone got any suggestions for a song for them? Nice and ironic, but one they can divide between one another. At the moment, I'm thinking: Love me do - The Beatles When I'm Sixty Four - The Beatles Rocket Man - Elton John Mad World - Tears For Fears But we're open to suggestions. What would you like to hear me and my brother singing in stupid voices?
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
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