The Barrow Downs Newspaper

[Loslote]

That is why we expect to launch different almost meat free vegetarian products within near future.

Like our new improved minced beef with only 12% beef, instead we have put in 88% of lard.

Hey! That's my Classic Fake-Bacon recipe! :eek::mad:

Rune, if you're indeed intending to adjust your nutrition habits towards eating more chicken, I can't recommend anything better than Pitchie's Quality Poultry. Maybe I could even interest you in a merger?

Loslote's Better Quality Bacon would totally take you up on that. Just sayin'. ;)

[wilwarin538]

"ESPRORSIONS!"

*dies of laughter*

:D

[Blind Guardian]

For once, I am pleased by something Rune did! :eek:

I concur!


How about everyone just eats salads! Go Vegetarians!

[Oddwen]

I concur!


How about everyone just eats salads! Go Vegetarians!


Yeah, go, go over there...where the meat isn't. Mmmmmmmmmm.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i291/JoelCornah/Week216.png

And now, we run into the first episode of a new era of Phantom and Alien madness! Get ready for...

THE QUEST FOR THE EPIC ADVENTURE!

http://joelcornah.webs.com/photos/Volume-4---The-Quest-for-the-Epic-Adventure/Episode%20001.PNG

Don't forget that if you've lost track of The Phantom and Alien, you can look back though the...

PHANTOM AND ALIEN
COMIC ARCHIVE THING (http://joelcornah.webs.com/)

Volume 4 is going to be a lot less plot thick. I want to get back to the more jokey, one liner style of volumes one and two. I always got the feeling the plot was taking over in 3 and leaving too many people out in the dark.
You don't NEED to read volume 3 to understand 4, but it may be neat to do so. Hopefully, this story will stand alone and be enjoyable.
Next week, we'll catch up with the phantom. You remember where he was at the end of volume 2? Well, we'll find out, won't we?

[Laurinquë]

BOW TIES ARE COOL. Incidentally, so are explosions. I like explosions. And exploding bow ties are even better.

I want to get back to the more jokey, one liner style of volumes one and two. I always got the feeling the plot was taking over in 3 and leaving too many people out in the dark.

We Gollums of the world must protest, being left in the dark is the only way to live properly. That said, P&A one liners are much easier to quote at random during class and on the bus. I look forward to this. :D

[Blind Guardian]

BOW TIES ARE COOL. Incidentally, so are explosions. I like explosions. And exploding bow ties are even better.


I like explosions.


Don't forget that if you've lost track of The Phantom and Alien, you can look back though the...


I think I've already lost track...How in the world did Alien get a job at a school?!

[Laurinquë]

I just noticed, is it me or does that balrog have WINGS?? :eek:

[narfforc]

I just noticed, is it me or does that balrog have WINGS?? :eek:

Well spotted Laurinque, it must be one of those false ones you can buy from Onewrong.com.

[Blind Guardian]

I just noticed, is it me or does that balrog have WINGS?? :eek:
What? Where? ...Oh I see. Scary looking Balrog.

[TheGreatElvenWarrior]

I might remind everyone here that Balrogs do not have wings. :p ;)

Oh, and one liner P and As are much easier to quote, indeed. Then you don't have to refer back to a ridiculous story line.

[narfforc]

Oh yes they don't!

[Legate of Amon Lanc]

For those fans of our favourite cartoons who haven't read it elsewhere yet, I want to mention that to my incredible delight I have discovered that in my neighbourhood, there lives some person whose name is "Shmurts"!

I would not have imagined that or believe that if I wouldn't have seen that...

[Hookbill the Goomba]

The news to make you dance and vomit on the carpet!

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i291/JoelCornah/Week217.png

Do you remember where we left the phantom at the end of series two?

http://joelcornah.webs.com/photos/Volume-4---The-Quest-/Episode%20002.PNG

Don't forget that if you've lost track of The Phantom and Alien, you can look back though the...

PHANTOM AND ALIEN
COMIC ARCHIVE THING (http://joelcornah.webs.com/)

Oh such fun times. If you can't remember, at the end of volume 2 the phantom had gone into hiding after the Barrow Wight decided to charge him for the destruction of half the country.
I like his disguise! It's so convincing! :D

[Blind Guardian]

"BWH suing The Barrow Downs, BWH now cool" :)

[Hookbill the Goomba]

YOU WANT NEWS! THE DOWNER WILL GIVE YOU GRUES!

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i291/JoelCornah/Week218.png

Davem's depression is drowned in drink.

http://joelcornah.webs.com/photos/Volume-4---The-Quest-/Episode%20003.PNG

Don't forget that if you've lost track of The Phantom and Alien, you can look back though the...

PHANTOM AND ALIEN
COMIC ARCHIVE THING (http://joelcornah.webs.com/)

It may not be as visually impressive as the previous series, but I hope you enjoy it enough to be getting along with. Sorry it's only once a week, guys, but I'm quite short on time and inspiration at the moment and can only make one episode a week as it is. I'll try harder once I get my head screwed on right. ;)

[TheGreatElvenWarrior]

I'll try harder once I get my head screwed on right. ;)
Because your head is screwed on wrong right now? :confused:

[Blind Guardian]

Crazy lawmakers! Sounds like congress!

[TheGreatElvenWarrior]

Oh yeah, I think that I've seen those boots from the second story before. ;):p

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Shoot yourself in the eye and then pull some pudding out of your pants! It's time for the news!

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i291/JoelCornah/Week219.png

What would Alien's classes be like? Well, a little like this...

http://joelcornah.webs.com/photos/Volume-4---The-Quest-/Episode%20004.PNG

Don't forget that if you've lost track of The Phantom and Alien, you can look back though the...

PHANTOM AND ALIEN
COMIC ARCHIVE THING (http://joelcornah.webs.com/)

Those children are in safe, while invisible, hands, aren't they?
Yes, if you're wondering, what happened to Alien with the mayonnaise at the end of Vol. 2 will be addressed. It's a very silly situation, I assure you. And more silliness is to come.

[Blind Guardian]

I hate rats...not as much as I hate spiders...

[Hookbill the Goomba]

I hate rats...not as much as I hate spiders...

It's not a rat. It's a possum! Alien says so! Alien knows best... Or does it?

[Blind Guardian]

It's not a rat. It's a possum! Alien says so! Alien knows best... Or does it?

Doesn't matter. They all find their way in to garbage cans any ways.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Get news-ed up to your eyeballs!

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i291/JoelCornah/Week220.png

And now, The Phantom meets an old friend...

http://joelcornah.webs.com/photos/Volume-4---The-Quest-/Episode%20005.PNG

Don't forget that if you've lost track of The Phantom and Alien, you can look back though the...

PHANTOM AND ALIEN
COMIC ARCHIVE THING (http://joelcornah.webs.com/)

Make sure you're all happy with P&A at the moment. If you are unsatisfied, please contact the British Government to demand a full refund. I'm sure they'll be able to deal with it.

[Aganzir]

Mmm those cookies were good... :smokin:

[TheGreatElvenWarrior]

*Contacts British government*

[Blind Guardian]

It looks like the Soap Popes arms were cut off. But they are the same size of the phantoms, so...

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Yep, that's right, I'm still doing this...

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i291/JoelCornah/Week221.png

And now, Davem's talents are called into question..

http://joelcornah.webs.com/photos/Volume-4---The-Quest-/Episode%20006.PNG

Don't forget that if you've lost track of The Phantom and Alien, you can look back though the...

PHANTOM AND ALIEN
COMIC ARCHIVE THING (http://joelcornah.webs.com/)

If you're confused about the Phantom and Alien, don't worry; I am too.
Hopefully the archive isn't too bad. I did spend some time on it. So... BE HAPPY!

[Blind Guardian]

Eww...what's wrong with his hand...?

[Oddwen]

When I look at that illustration, I can't keep my brain from substituting the a surinami toad or the lotus(bodypart) photoshop from the web. (Don't search it out, it's gross and possibly NSFW).

Congratulations Hooky, you've finally crossed into "OH ERU NOOO" territory.

*shuddersob*

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Eww...what's wrong with his hand...?

Tropical disease.

Congratulations Hooky, you've finally crossed into "OH ERU NOOO" territory.

*shuddersob*

I've been trying for a long time! :p

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Yep, that's right, I'm still doing this...

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i291/JoelCornah/Week222.png

And now we find something out about SPM

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i291/JoelCornah/Episode007-1.png

Don't forget that if you've lost track of The Phantom and Alien, you can look back though the...

PHANTOM AND ALIEN
COMIC ARCHIVE THING (http://joelcornah.webs.com/)

Egads! I bet you didn't see THAT coming, did you?
As I've been writing this series, I've started falling into some old traps. There are a few plotty episodes coming up soon, but they shouldn't last too long. I hope.
Also, be on the look out for Mr Squatter!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Is it a time of year when no one is posting or is the Newspaper really that bad? :(

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i291/JoelCornah/Week223.png

The Phantom and Alien are still having adventures, you know!
Davem is unhappy with the case he's working on...

http://www.freewebs.com/joelcornah/photos/Volume-4---The-Quest-/Episode%20008.PNG

Don't forget that if you've lost track of The Phantom and Alien, you can look back though the...

PHANTOM AND ALIEN
COMIC ARCHIVE THING (http://joelcornah.webs.com/)

Tune in next week for more Alien craziness! And probably some jelly.
I should probably start thinking about something special for Christmas time. Another animation, you think?

[Blind Guardian]

Jelly! jelly, jelly. I like Jelly.

[the phantom]

I did NOT punch your reporters!

I hit them with a wave of concussive force summoned forth by the awesome power of my brain.

[TheGreatElvenWarrior]

Is it a time of year when no one is posting or is the Newspaper really that bad? :(

Sorry, I forgot to comment last week. :p

[Pitchwife]

Is it a time of year when no one is posting or is the Newspaper really that bad?
Speaking for myself, you can totally blame that on a temporary low in esprit on the reader's side.
As for P&A, the new/old format takes some time to adjust to after the epic story arc of Vol. 3. But tell me, what has happened to davem's look since Vol. 2 ? Wouldn't have recognized the old chap. When and how did he acquire a pony-tail?

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Speaking for myself, you can totally blame that on a temporary low in esprit on the reader's side.
As for P&A, the new/old format takes some time to adjust to after the epic story arc of Vol. 3. But tell me, what has happened to davem's look since Vol. 2 ? Wouldn't have recognized the old chap. When and how did he acquire a pony-tail?

Yes, well, Davem's new look is supposed to be more based on recent photos of the man himself AND the fact that he's supposed to be a bit of a hipster always a little high on drugs. But don't tell the kids. ;)

Anyway, lets have some news...

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i291/JoelCornah/Week224.png

Alien gets his grove on and makes his students suffer!

http://www.freewebs.com/joelcornah/photos/Volume-4---The-Quest-/Episode%20009-1.PNG

Don't forget that if you've lost track of The Phantom and Alien, you can look back though the...

PHANTOM AND ALIEN
COMIC ARCHIVE THING (http://joelcornah.webs.com/)

I'm glad people are still reading. There's more fun to come with the P&A saga. Not sure how it'll go from here on out as I may be hitting a change of jobs soon. So if P&A frequency becomes a little muddled, don't try and kill me!

[Oddwen]

Rune Has Vision of the Future: "I Will Be King" he Says

The Beef Must Flow, looks more like.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Pump your beard out of the wall! It's time to get some news in your system!

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i291/JoelCornah/Week225.png

The Phantom has a job interview...

http://www.freewebs.com/joelcornah/photos/Volume-4---The-Quest-/Episode%20010.PNG

Don't forget that if you've lost track of The Phantom and Alien, you can look back though the...

PHANTOM AND ALIEN
COMIC ARCHIVE THING (http://joelcornah.webs.com/)

No, I didn't steal that last image from a video. How dare you suggest such laziness on my part! I'm insulted! Please address all complaints of this sort to the Barrow Wight Himself. Also, ask him to send me that money he owes me.

[TheGreatElvenWarrior]

Alliteration? What is this nonsense that the Downer is spewing? I demand a refund!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Time for some news that will burst your kidneys!

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i291/JoelCornah/Week226.png

Alien continues to teach questionably...

http://www.freewebs.com/joelcornah/photos/Volume-4---The-Quest-/Episode%20011.PNG

Don't forget that if you've lost track of The Phantom and Alien, you can look back though the...

PHANTOM AND ALIEN
COMIC ARCHIVE THING (http://joelcornah.webs.com/)

Next week I'm thinking of, as a special Christmas treat or something, doing an extra special Newspaper! It'll be quite a few pages long and, in all probability, be a sort of 'best of' paper with a few new stories. If you've got any favourite Downer moments, let me know and I'll throw them on the consideration pile.

[Blind Guardian]

*from two weeks ago*

I bought my house from the Great Dark Lord, Morgoth! Greatest thing I've ever bought! *roof caves in* Eh, almost, if that stupid thing would just stay up!

*today*

Bad Hookbill! start writing the news again!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

A little later than usual...

The first instalment of a series of 'best of' papers. I'm trying to take a bit of a break from full on newspapers. It's a little tiring at times.

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i291/JoelCornah/Week227.png

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i291/JoelCornah/Week227-1.png

[Pitchwife]

The first instalment of a series of 'best of' papers.
Cool! Are you going to release a live album, too?

[wilwarin538]

Wilwarin538 Gets Mentioned In Newspaper

Hahaha, it's about time! ;) :D

[Nogrod]

It's good to see the 'Downer is finally endorsing our products! Sadly there seems to have been a confusion as to the name of the product.

The real name of the fragrance of course is Gallant Odourless Dudes, or just GOD to keep it short. :rolleyes:

[Inziladun]

It's good to see the 'Downer is finally endorsing our products! Sadly there seems to have been a confusion as to the name of the product.

The real name of the fragrance of course is Gallant Odourless Dudes, or just GOD to keep it short. :rolleyes:

Sounds like what I've been waiting for! Are you taking orders? :D

[Hookbill the Goomba]

A littler earlier than usual, to make up for last time, I suppose. ;)

The second instalment of a series of 'best of' papers. I'm trying to take a bit of a break from full on newspapers. It's a little tiring at times.

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i291/JoelCornah/Week228.png

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i291/JoelCornah/Week228-1.png

Next week will be the last best of. Then we're back to normal.

[the phantom]

One of my all-time favorite P&A comics right there.

[Aganzir]

I don't want to give any spoilers, but let me tell you my book discusses at least pole axes, bloodbaths, nudity, lions' hunting habits, cooking, and one Pitchwife. Among other things. :smokin:

[Blind Guardian]

One of my all-time favorite P&A comics right there.

I concur. Best choice, Hookie!

[Pitchwife]

I don't want to give any spoilers, but let me tell you my book discusses at least pole axes, bloodbaths, nudity, lions' hunting habits, cooking, and one Pitchwife. Among other things. :smokin:
How much would it cost to bribe you to edit the, er, compromising pages out?

[Glirdan]

How much would it cost to bribe you to edit the, er, compromising pages out?

As her agent, I would just like to say...BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Not happening. This one is going to make me rich and famous!!! I mean...er.....her rich and famous!!!!!!! :o

[TheGreatElvenWarrior]

Pfft! Everybody knows that week #104 was the best Downer ever. ;)

[Hookbill the Goomba]

The last of the best. Or worst. Whatever you think describes it best...

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i291/JoelCornah/Week229.png

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i291/JoelCornah/Week229-1.png

Next week your regular news returns! With all-new Phantom and Alien gubbins! Hope it makes you so happy your pants catch fire!

[TheGreatElvenWarrior]

The evil mayonnaise? I love the evil mayonnaise! :D

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

I just looked through the last two pages of this thread, just to catch up on the headlines and see what I missed. It was a very enjoyable read, although I am sure I paid for some adverts. . .?

How is Rune's Quality Beef going to sell our newest product without promotion in the semi-public media?!

Have you tried our new lovely tinned beef? "BD-BEEF" - Made of Barrow-Downers for Barrow-Downers!

Also. . I am the king!

[Blind Guardian]

I just looked through the last two pages of this thread, just to catch up on the headlines and see what I missed. It was a very enjoyable read, although I am sure I paid for some adverts. . .?

How is Rune's Quality Beef going to sell our newest product without promotion in the semi-public media?!

Have you tried our new lovely tinned beef? "BD-BEEF" - Made of Barrow-Downers for Barrow-Downers!

Also. . I am the king!


Who is this guy? Advertising in the middle of this forum! Unspeakable!


Did someone say...Evil Mayo?

[Hookbill the Goomba]

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i291/JoelCornah/Week230.png

And now a brand new Phantom and Alien comic. Aint that novel?

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i291/JoelCornah/Episode012-1.png

Don't forget that if you've lost track of The Phantom and Alien, you can look back though the...

PHANTOM AND ALIEN
COMIC ARCHIVE THING (http://joelcornah.webs.com/)

Although I'm having problems updating the website. I'll try again tomorrow.

Ah, many thanks to the infamous the phantom for writing the second story and mini heads for this week and the next few weeks. The more times people do this, the less likely I am to just churn out the complete last dregs of my dissolving creativity. :D

[Blind Guardian]

Go Morgoth GO!


What is it with hats lately?

[the phantom]

So I believe from now on I'll be imagining Doriath as the Olympic rainforest.

[Blind Guardian]

btw, exclamation marks invade!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!GO Blind Guardian!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I RULE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Q

[Glirdan]

And you all thought I was over exuberant and had too many question marks :rolleyes:

[TheGreatElvenWarrior]

What is it with hats lately?
Firstly, hats are awesome.
Secondly, I am attending AntarcticaMoot.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i291/JoelCornah/Week231.png

And now Alien's questionable teaching methods grow more... questionable...

http://www.freewebs.com/joelcornah/Vol%204/Episode%20013.PNG

Don't forget that if you've lost track of The Phantom and Alien, you can look back though the...

PHANTOM AND ALIEN
COMIC ARCHIVE THING (http://joelcornah.webs.com/)

Thanks again to the phantom and his tireless work making my life a little easier. One day I may give him a pile of gold as reward. Maybe. Probably not. I may, in fact, take some gold from him.
Anyway...
More P&A next week.

[the phantom]

Ha! I knew Nog and the crew weren't being honest about the US trip! They were so polite about everything, but I could tell they weren't pleased.

[Aganzir]

Nog has no sense of humour. I thought that was the best part of the trip. Okay well almost, it was only second to the phantom sleeping a whole night in a bathtub.

[TheGreatElvenWarrior]

Nog has no sense of humour. I thought that was the best part of the trip. Okay well almost, it was only second to the phantom sleeping a whole night in a bathtub.
Pfft. Everyone knows that the best part of your trip was when Ka got attacked by barnacles. :p

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Nobody mentioned my Sherlock Holmes Barrow Wight. :( I was really proud of that 'shop.

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i291/JoelCornah/Week232.png

It's time for a reunion! THE WORST REUNION EVER!

http://www.freewebs.com/joelcornah/photos/Volume-4---The-Quest-/Episode%20014.PNG

Don't forget that if you've lost track of The Phantom and Alien, you can look back though the...

PHANTOM AND ALIEN
COMIC ARCHIVE THING (http://joelcornah.webs.com/)

We'll all be a lot happier when the Phantom and Alien has it's own TV show and block buster movie. And also has it's own range of action figures, plushies and tea pots. Oh, and pots of EVIL Mayo in memory of Morsul the Dark.

[Morai]

This makes me a little curious. Do I seem like more of a case of AIDS or a bladder? My future could depend on it. ;)

Also, I need to find an evil supermarket. I have a recipe for an evil sandwich calling for an evil dab of evil mayonnaise. Is there a directory for such establishments?

[Blind Guardian]

Morsul The Dark Is Dead!?

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Put on your news hats and drag your shoes out of your throat! It's time for this week's downer!

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i291/JoelCornah/Week233.png

It's time to see the old duo back at it again!

http://www.freewebs.com/joelcornah/photos/Episode%20015.PNG

Don't forget that if you've lost track of The Phantom and Alien, you can look back though the...

PHANTOM AND ALIEN
COMIC ARCHIVE THING (http://joelcornah.webs.com/)

You may notices some odd things in the next few episodes of P&A... That's because I changed my mind about the direction I want to take this series. The same questions will be answered, just in a different way. So, there's one or two episodes coming up that are a bit shoddy, I think, but I can't fix them without completely re-doing them and I don't want to do that because it'll make me cry.

[TheGreatElvenWarrior]

Oh come on, antennae aren't that scary! They just take a bit to get used to. :p

[Blind Guardian]

Oh come on, antennae aren't that scary! They just take a bit to get used to. :p

And funny!


So....who'd Alien kill with the ax?

[Hookbill the Goomba]

And funny!


So....who'd Alien kill with the ax?

It's not blood, it's jelly!

(Blood flavoured jelly).

[Blind Guardian]

*throws up*

[TheGreatElvenWarrior]

So....who'd Alien kill with the ax?
Alien kill? Never!

[Morai]

Will Smaug open up the decision to a vote? If nothing else, it should help his ratings go up. I'm leaning toward "Trogdor" myself.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

You might want to think about getting your face secured, because this news might just make you want to tear it off!

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i291/JoelCornah/Week234.png

And now for your regularly scheduled Phalian.

Today, we have SQUATTER making an appearance. As well as an old face I hope you all recognise.

http://www.freewebs.com/joelcornah/photos/Volume-4---The-Quest-/Episode%20016.PNG

Don't forget that if you've lost track of The Phantom and Alien, you can look back though the...

PHANTOM AND ALIEN
COMIC ARCHIVE THING (http://joelcornah.webs.com/)

Crikey! It's all so strange! But is it entertainment? Probably not.
The squatter story should get interesting soon. But there's some more P &A focussed episodes. Because, that's unusual in this series.

[the phantom]

Having received permission from our good Sir Hookbill, I present to you a fantastic new weekly feature! (translation: not fantastic, but new and will last a few weeks anyway)

I introduce- Dear Downer. This is your chance to write to the paper and have your questions answered by exciting guest columnists! Now, many of the questions for the early columns I've already prepared, but as weeks roll by I'll start asking for all of you loyal readers to send in questions to be featured in the following week's edition.

This week, a double feature!

******************************************

DEAR DOWNER
THIS WEEK’S GUEST COLUMNIST- A Wizard That Really Loves Pipeweed

Blind Guardian writes- If you were stuck up a tree surrounded by Orcs, what would you do?
Wizard answers- I mean honestly, that’s certain death, particularly if there are also wolves present and the tree is on fire, as is often the case. I suppose I’d use the flames to light my pipe, as really what else is there to do but have one final glorious smoke? The real question you’re asking is, what year and leaf type would I want for my final smoke? Really… I can’t decide!

GreatElvenWarrior writes- Which race or creature in Middle-Earth do you find the most intruiging?
Wizard answers- All groups have their merits of course, so one must look for a truly unique feature. For instance, did you know that Hobbits invented growing and smoking pipeweed as we know it today? Elves invented things too of course. Hmm… you know, I can’t recall ever seeing an Elf smoking. Men to be sure, and a dwarf here and there, but no Elves. Strange. I wonder how Ents feel about smoking- are the leaves their relatives, and we’re burning them? Wait, what was the question?

Pitchwife writes- What was it like battling a Balrog?
Wizard answers- Well now, that would be a feat! No, no, that was Gandalf who did that- people often confuse me with him for some reason. Wonderful chap, Gandalf. Makes the best smoke rings, and always has some spare Hobbit-grown pipeweed! Never fought a Balrog myself. I’d love to see one! Always wondered about their wings, and if they like to smoke. They are fire creatures, so you’d think they would enjoy smoking.

******************************************

DEAR DOWNER
THIS WEEK’S GUEST COLUMNIST- The Phantom fresh off of his stunning Cobbler performance.

Morai writes- Why are you back writing again? The paper was better without you.
Phantom answers- It’s okay, lad, we all get jealous sometimes. Well, not me, but other people do. We can’t all be best friends with the paper owner, or BW’s arch-nemesis, or the greatest Werewolf performer in the world. Just focus on what you are capable of instead of hating others for their brilliance. For instance, perhaps you could fetch me a soda while I work on my next article? There’s a good boy. We all have our place.

Glirdan writes- What’s the toughest thing you’ve ever done?
Phantom answers- If you had asked me at an earlier time, then no doubt it would’ve been the time I was forced to kill my twin brother. But now the answer would have to be my Cobbler act on the final day of Mac & Rikae’s game. I had to appear as a Cobbler to the Wolves, appear as a Wolf to the Hunter, and appear as a Seer to the rest. The task looked darn near impossible, but I met the challenge with a level of subtlety, nuance, and charisma never before witnessed on the Downs!

Agan writes- Have you considered that your arrogant persona has been pushed to the point that you’re detestable rather than amusing?
Phantom answers- I’m not sure what you mean. Are you trying to say you love me and wish to have my babies? Because that’s what I’m hearing. If that is indeed the correct interpretation, I can’t say I blame you. Yesterday I bumped into Jeremy Irons and he pledged his eternal loyalty to me. Stuff like that happens to me all the time.

******************************************

Next week's Dear Downer guest columnist will be- Legate, while visiting Lommy!

[narfforc]

I am planning revenge.......

[Glirdan]

Yes phantom, that was a rather intense last Day, one that was pulled off magnificently and to our greatest success. :D

[Morai]

Morai writes- Why are you back writing again? The paper was better without you.
Phantom answers- It’s okay, lad, we all get jealous sometimes. Well, not me, but other people do. We can’t all be best friends with the paper owner, or BW’s arch-nemesis, or the greatest Werewolf performer in the world. Just focus on what you are capable of instead of hating others for their brilliance. For instance, perhaps you could fetch me a soda while I work on my next article? There’s a good boy. We all have our place.


Haha! My androgynous user name strikes again! :p

Also, I'm not sure you'd want me to fetch you a soda. I make no guarantees as to whether or not I've shaken the can en route to its destination.

[the phantom]

Well, I'd say that makes the response much better in fact, as obviously Phantom can't be bothered to find out such trivial details about you commoners.

[Aganzir]

I don't want to give any spoilers, but let me tell you my book discusses at least pole axes
PLAGIARIST!!! :mad:

Agan writes- Have you considered that your arrogant persona has been pushed to the point that you’re detestable rather than amusing?
Phantom answers- I’m not sure what you mean. Are you trying to say you love me and wish to have my babies? Because that’s what I’m hearing. If that is indeed the correct interpretation, I can’t say I blame you. Yesterday I bumped into Jeremy Irons and he pledged his eternal loyalty to me. Stuff like that happens to me all the time.
No I just meant that your head has been getting smaller and smaller of late and people don't find it very attractive.

Mmm penguins! :smokin:

[Hookbill the Goomba]

It's time for a news stomach!!

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i291/JoelCornah/Week235.png

And now for your regularly scheduled Phalian.

Today, we have a really bad joke. Even by p&a standards...

http://www.freewebs.com/joelcornah/photos/Volume-4---The-Quest-/Episode%20017.PNG

Don't forget that if you've lost track of The Phantom and Alien, you can look back though the...

PHANTOM AND ALIEN
COMIC ARCHIVE THING (http://joelcornah.webs.com/)

sorry it's a bit late, people. I've been distracted by a strange wizard who keeps eating my chair. I wish he'd stop, but he says he can't or he'll turn into a tadpole again. :(

[the phantom]

We have a brand new "Dear Downer" today! Thank you to everyone who sent in their questions to be answered by this week's guest columnist- Legate!
(Our guest columnist for some reason wanted us to be sure and mention that Lommy is visiting him currently.)

**********************
**********************

DEAR DOWNER
THIS WEEK’S GUEST COLUMNIST- Legate, with Lommy visiting

Eomer writes- Do you have any tips for playing the bagpipes?
Legate answers- Glad to HELP a friend. I AM an excellent player, BEING a graduate of the Scottish National Conservatory. First, be sure the bag is HELD firmly but gently AGAINST your side. Second, consider, “Is MY chanter properly attached?” But then none of that matters if your instrument isn’t top quality. I have world class pipes myself. Should I die I’ll be sure and leave them to you in my WILL.

Kath writes- You and Lommy are so cute together! How long do you see it lasting?
Legate answers- Ha ha, yes, we’re quite the pair. She's looking over my shoulder as I answer these as a matter of fact. As far as us lasting- I’m imagine it will last until the end of my life, just as I am sure that all of you reading this will be certain to look over all of my answers extremely carefully, looking for hidden meaning and such.

Phantom writes- I was wondering if you had any more pudding jokes. That one Greenie told me was just hysterical.
Legate answers- Ah, actually, I think I might have one for you. One time there was a Czech pudding that went over to visit a Finnish éclair intending to inform her that their flavors just didn’t blend very well, but the éclair got mad and captured the pudding and insisted that given enough time he’d see dessert her way. Funny eh? Do you get the joke? Pleeeeease say that you get it!

[satansaloser2005]

THIS WEEK’S GUEST COLUMNIST- The Phantom fresh off of his stunning Cobbler performance.

sd;oies;nnbds QW*(UW%! >.<

[Oddwen]

It's funny because I actually was making cookies on Sunday! Ha ha!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v58/Oddwen/Mobile%20Uploads/0221011149.jpg

(help meeeee)

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Bring out your dead! Bring them out so they can read the Downer!

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i291/JoelCornah/Week236.png

And now for your regularly scheduled Phalian.

http://www.freewebs.com/joelcornah/photos/Volume-4---The-Quest-/Episode%20018.PNG

Don't forget that if you've lost track of The Phantom and Alien, you can look back though the...

PHANTOM AND ALIEN
COMIC ARCHIVE THING (http://joelcornah.webs.com/)

If your head is still able to read after that series of craziness and stomach cramp inducing news, then you'll be happy to read the following words;
Grumbling. Shoes.

[Glirdan]

The Poor Children!!!!!!

[the phantom]

DEAR DOWNER
THIS WEEK’S GUEST COLUMNIST- Urwen

Nerwen writes- Who is better- Maedhros, Glaurung, Eru, or Beren?
Urwen answers- Well Maedhros is totally out, since he’s the one that made Melkor mad enough to make the plague that killed Lalaith. Plus everyone knows Melkor used Maedhros’s severed hand as source material. Glaurung was very very mean to Lalaith’s family, and he probably even laughed when she died. And Eru didn’t spare her somehow, even though her brother was. What, was she unworthy?! Big jerk. And Beren wouldn’t give the Silmaril to Feanor’s sons, so they got mad, and that’s why Doriath didn’t help Maedhros’s alliance, and if they had maybe they would’ve been strong enough to move quicker ahead of the plague or maybe Melian could’ve healed Lalaith or something. So no- they’re all bad!

Rikae writes- Would you be so kind as to come up with a scenario in which Lalaith marries Aragorn?
Urwen answers- Ha, I thought of that years ago!
Maedhros: “Never mind Morgoth. We give up. Let’s talk.”
Morgoth: “Okay, so, you surrender now?”
Maedhros: *stalls* “Um….”
Morgoth: “So….?”
Maedhros: “Ha ha, I was kidding! Just giving time for all children to be evacuated! Now we fight!
Thingol: “Yes, we will take care of Turin and Lalaith for you, Hurin.”
Melian: “And I will send Lalaith to Beren and Luthien and have them put her into enchanted sleep, because I had a dream that said Turin would marry his sister!”
Hurin: “Thanks, you guys are great.”
Luthien: “Hi, Lalaith. We’re taking you up to a cave in Ered Luin to sleep.”
**Many years pass**
Cirdan: “I’ve lived around here a long time, but never noticed this cave before.”
Lalaith: “I’m awake now!”
Cirdan: “I will send you to Elrond to grow up. He can tell you all the history you missed.”
Elrond: “Good job Lalaith. You’re completely smart now, and a good fighter and everything.”
Lalaith: “Who’s that?”
Elrond: “That’s my adopted son, Aragorn. He just got back from a long trip.”
Aragorn: “You’re really pretty and funny and stuff. I like you.”
Lalaith: “Yay!”

Galadriel55 writes- I think that the next logical step after obsession with a fictional toddler would be obsession with a real life toddler. What do you say to that?
Urwen answers- I'm kinda there already. I killed my parents so I could have my little sister, and I made her to answer to “Lalaith”. When she started looking too old to be Lalaith, I killed her and had her stuffed. Now she can always be my Lalaith! I love going on walks with her (I pull her in a wagon).

Phantom writes- Who’s your favorite Tolkien character?
Urwen answers- Oh, ha ha ha ha ha!!!

Sally writes- I heard a rumor that you’re secretly Nog, and he created your account just to have a bit of fun with us.
Urwen answers- Oh my! Perhaps we can have a private chat about this?

[satansaloser2005]

That last one totally happened, except the chat had nothing to do with Nog being Urwen. :Merisu:

[Galadriel55]

Hahaha! Really? Urwen, you'd really kill Lalaith because you're upsest with her? :D:D:D


Who’s your favorite Tolkien character?

What a question!

[Pitchwife]

Did you do anything with Greenie's eyes on that pic, Hookbill, or is that a light effect? She looks so blissfully zombified!:D

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Did you do anything with Greenie's eyes on that pic, Hookbill, or is that a light effect? She looks so blissfully zombified!:D

No, but I wish I had. :D

[Hookbill the Goomba]

A magnificent round of lies and slander! Also, this weeks' Downer.

Thanks to Blind Guardian for this weeks second story!

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i291/JoelCornah/Week237.png

And now for your regularly scheduled Phalian.

http://www.freewebs.com/joelcornah/photos/Volume-4---The-Quest-/Episode%20019.PNG

Don't forget that if you've lost track of The Phantom and Alien, you can look back though the...

PHANTOM AND ALIEN
COMIC ARCHIVE THING (http://joelcornah.webs.com/)

There's a joke I meant to do in P&A around here but I completely forgot about it. I'll have to do it later. It was very funny. :p

[narfforc]

Anyway you look at it , the world is really really realy, real.

[Blind Guardian]

I just want to say: I have no grudge against De Phantom. And the horses look cool!

Oh, and that child freaks me out. Look at his eyes!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

When lies just aren't enough, there's always The Downer!

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i291/JoelCornah/Week238.png

And now for your regularly scheduled Phalian.

http://www.freewebs.com/joelcornah/Vol%204/Episode%20020.PNG

Don't forget that if you've lost track of The Phantom and Alien, you can look back though the...

PHANTOM AND ALIEN
COMIC ARCHIVE THING (http://joelcornah.webs.com/)

Yes, I'm lazy and like to re-use old art whenever it suites me. Thanks for noticing.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Check it out! My brother (of Volume 3 fame) did a neat little picture of Evilos the evil killer of death!

http://i54.tinypic.com/bij69e.png

[Oddwen]

I like his little vest. :)

[Blind Guardian]

That child still freaks me out. *shivers*

[Galadriel55]

I like the 3-D effect!

What's that blue thing on the right?

[Pitchwife]

Looks like a spacetime singularity that has been misused as a voodoo doll to me.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Grab hold of your shirts and wriggle about in your chair! It's time for some news!

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i291/JoelCornah/Week239.png

And now for your regularly scheduled Phalian.

http://www.freewebs.com/joelcornah/photos/Volume-4---The-Quest-/Episode%20021.PNG

Don't forget that if you've lost track of The Phantom and Alien, you can look back though the...

PHANTOM AND ALIEN
COMIC ARCHIVE THING (http://joelcornah.webs.com/)

Ho hum.
Alien and mayonnaise. They always end up together. If you're wodering why Alien isn't being burned by the mayo, you should remember that the mayo that burns him is clearly of the fat-free variety. Full fat mayo is okay with him. ;)

[Glirdan]

Whoa...that was a wicked day dream of awesomness and terror and mayhem and......*slips back into day dream*

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Eeep! The lost hour made this late. Sorry...

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i291/JoelCornah/Week240.png

And now for your regularly scheduled Phalian.

http://www.freewebs.com/joelcornah/photos/Volume-4---The-Quest-/Episode%20022.PNG

Don't forget that if you've lost track of The Phantom and Alien, you can look back though the...

PHANTOM AND ALIEN
COMIC ARCHIVE THING (http://joelcornah.webs.com/)

It's all coming to a head. A BIG HEAD! WITH A BIG NOSE.
Yeah, sorry, no idea what I'm talking about here. But isn't that what the Downer is all about?

[Galadriel55]

Quick! Bann B-W before he destroys the whole world!

Errr...

Oh.

:D:p;)


PS: is it the delicious grass that made his face so powerful?

[skip spence]

That article is grossly misleading. First of all, I DID NOT drink Rune's immortal soul. Okay, I tried to once, but it turned out he doesn't have one any longer. Sold it to the devil for beef and lager, apparently. Secondly, I DO NOT drink human souls. Well, there's some of it in my distillate, but there are many other ingredients as well...

[Galadriel55]

That article is grossly misleading. First of all, I DID NOT drink Rune's immortal soul. Okay, I tried to once, but it turned out he doesn't have one any longer. Sold it to the devil for beef and lager, apparently.

Next week there'll be a follow-up article - Truth About Rune Finally Revealed! :D

[TheGreatElvenWarrior]

TGEW tried to drown herself in a pot of tea.
I see my reputation precedes me, Galadriel55.

Also, the lovely stories written by the guest writers these past three weeks is random and ridiculous, just how the Downer should be. Superb.
Hook, your writing is funny as always. :)

[Galadriel55]

I see my reputation precedes me, Galadriel55.


I got the idea from this. It was a few weeks back:

"Police discover plot to destroy Tea Pot. TGEW called in to assist."

;)

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Keeping YOU informed and ignorant at the same time! It's the Barrow Downs' third best Newspaper!

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i291/JoelCornah/Week241.png

And now for your regularly scheduled Phalian.

http://www.freewebs.com/joelcornah/photos/Volume-4---The-Quest-/Episode%20023.PNG

Don't forget that if you've lost track of The Phantom and Alien, you can look back though the...

PHANTOM AND ALIEN
COMIC ARCHIVE THING (http://joelcornah.webs.com/)

Wahay! These prison scenarios are a lot of fun to write. I hope you find them mildly entertaining. Isn't it nice to see the phantom and Alien interacting properly for once? That's not happened for AGES! I've missed it.

[Blind Guardian]

The Phantom reminds me of Raven from Teen Titans. ;)

[Galadriel55]

"...is good for the digestive system."

Of course a hobbit would say that! :D

[Hookbill the Goomba]

News trousers at the ready... It's time for the Downer

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i291/JoelCornah/Week242.png

And now for your regularly scheduled Phalian.

http://www.freewebs.com/joelcornah/photos/Volume-4---The-Quest-/Episode%20024.PNG

Don't forget that if you've lost track of The Phantom and Alien, you can look back though the...

PHANTOM AND ALIEN
COMIC ARCHIVE THING (http://joelcornah.webs.com/)

Loved by ents and Tom Bombadil! Well, they liked it when I drugged them anyway.
All this talk of prison reminds me too much of my home life. I hope the phantom and alien escape soon.

[Galadriel55]

"Soapy biscuits!"

I'm going to use this some day! :D

[satansaloser2005]

Another example of shoddy journalism. I can personally assure you all that the phantom does not like blonde wigs. He greatly prefers brunettes. :Merisu:

[Hookbill the Goomba]

News jumpers and hats at the ready... It's time for the Downer

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i291/JoelCornah/Week243.png

And now for your regularly scheduled Phalian.

http://www.freewebs.com/joelcornah/photos/Volume-4---The-Quest-/Episode%20025.PNG

Don't forget that if you've lost track of The Phantom and Alien, you can look back though the...

PHANTOM AND ALIEN
COMIC ARCHIVE THING (http://joelcornah.webs.com/)

Squatter's hat is very important to him. NEVER INSULT IT!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

News worthy??

http://i54.tinypic.com/25kqxb5.jpg

And now for your regularly scheduled Phalian.

http://www.freewebs.com/joelcornah/photos/Volume-4---The-Quest-/Episode%20026.PNG

Don't forget that if you've lost track of The Phantom and Alien, you can look back though the...

PHANTOM AND ALIEN
COMIC ARCHIVE THING (http://joelcornah.webs.com/)

That duck painting is evil! I wish I'd never drawn it!
Anyway... It's dawned on me that I'll probably have difficulty in making and posting the Newspaper when the Downer Finland moot takes place. Hmmm. I can make some in advance, I suppose, and hire a lackey to post them for me - like I did when I was in hospital a few years back. Any other ideas, loyal readers?

[Eönwë]

I tried to open the door but it was Deadlock Sealed, so I opened the window instead. But there was just a face, and not a nice face at all. Perhaps Aulë was right...

http://i250.photobucket.com/albums/gg242/Eonwe-Kalmo/MorgothDoor-1.png

[Bom Tombadillo]

No, no, no. That's the wrong door. The right one has "police box" on it. And it's bigger on the inside.

Also: Wigs are not cool. Baskets are cool. As are Stetsons. Fezes, no. Just no. :D

[Pitchwife]

No, no, no. That's the wrong door. The right one has "police box" on it. And it's bigger on the inside.
Somebody clearly has a grip on how to get into Hookbill's good books!:D

Also: Wigs are not cool. Baskets are cool. As are Stetsons. Fezes, no. Just no. :D
Everything the phantom wears is ipso facto cool. (With the possible exception of that silly green cap in the comic.)

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Somebody clearly has a grip on how to get into Hookbill's good books!:D

It's a shame I threw my good books into a black hole, isn't it? ;)

Everything the phantom wears is ipso facto cool. (With the possible exception of that silly green cap in the comic.)

Hey, that hat is top of the line! State of the art! Crisp of the cusp! Good stuff! :p

[Pitchwife]

It's a shame I threw my good books into a black hole, isn't it? ;)
Quite the contrary. One can never do too much to promote literacy among singularities! Why, rumour has it some of the poor things are so uncivilized they still go naked!:eek:

[Bom Tombadillo]

Everything the phantom wears is ipso facto cool. (With the possible exception of that silly green cap in the comic.)

True. But does it remain cool once he takes it off? Or does an insufficient quantity of coolness rub off onto it to make the item itself remain cool?

Quite the contrary. One can never do too much to promote literacy among singularities! Why, rumour has it some of the poor things are so uncivilized they still go naked!:eek:

:eek: Really?

Best throw a few copies of the Downer in there, too; how else would they know what really (doesn't - er, does! Does! Don't hurt me Mr. Hookbill . . .) goes on in the world?

[Pitchwife]

True. But does it remain cool once he takes it off? Or does an insufficient quantity of coolness rub off onto it to make the item itself remain cool?
Hmm. This is hard to answer without extensive experimental testing, but my working hypothesis would be that taking it off would be equivalent to taking it out of the fridge; the rest is entropy.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

YOU GUYS!

Sorry! I completely forgot to post last week's paper and P&A... Eeeek!

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i291/JoelCornah/Week245.png

And now for your regularly scheduled Phalian.

http://www.freewebs.com/joelcornah/photos/Volume-4---The-Quest-/Episode%20027.PNG

Don't forget that if you've lost track of The Phantom and Alien, you can look back though the...

PHANTOM AND ALIEN
COMIC ARCHIVE THING (http://joelcornah.webs.com/)

Right, so you get another instalment in a few hours.

[Galadriel55]

Yumm! Ice cream! Two scoops for me, please! :D :p

[Blind Guardian]

Ice Cweem!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

More news than you usually get!

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i291/JoelCornah/Week246.png

And now for your regularly scheduled Phalian.

http://www.freewebs.com/joelcornah/photos/Volume-4---The-Quest-/Episode%20028.PNG

Don't forget that if you've lost track of The Phantom and Alien, you can look back though the...

PHANTOM AND ALIEN
COMIC ARCHIVE THING (http://joelcornah.webs.com/)

I spent far too much time re-reading Volume 3 today. It's fun. I miss P&A having good artwork, don't you?

[Pitchwife]

I spent far too much time re-reading Volume 3 today. It's fun. I miss P&A having good artwork, don't you?
Nah, the artwork is fine. What I've missed for most of Vol. 4 up to now was a plot (or I've been too daft to see it) - but it looks like that's emerging now.
Anyway, yay! John Fillis is back!

[Inziladun]

BW is quite photogenic, isn't he? :D

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Wow! Nearly up to 250!! WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE!?

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i291/JoelCornah/Week247.png

And now for your regularly scheduled Phalian.

http://www.freewebs.com/joelcornah/photos/Volume-4---The-Quest-/Episode%20029.PNG

Don't forget that if you've lost track of The Phantom and Alien, you can look back though the...

PHANTOM AND ALIEN
COMIC ARCHIVE THING (http://joelcornah.webs.com/)

The Phantom really is being CRAZY isn't he? I mean, who wouldn't want a flaming possum rat on their head? I mean... I would.

[Nogrod]

For once the journalists of the Downer magazine can be applauded from having a keen eye on things.

"We're so cool we don't even know what cool is", hits the mark exactly.

If you know what is cool, it means "the cool" has been set by others for you to know and follow. The real cool people just set it for others to "know". :p

And to lmp: Pants? Really? Pants are soo last season anyway...

[Galadriel55]

What? Hedgehogs?! They are NOT cool. :cool: When is the Penguin-Support Group going to have its first meeting? :p

[Blind Guardian]

What? Hedgehogs?! They are NOT cool. :cool: When is the Penguin-Support Group going to have its first meeting? :p

Yesterday

[Galadriel55]

Yesterday

I'll mark it on my calendar to make sure that I remember to attend. :D :p

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Stick a moustache on your face and rub some lotion into your ears! It's time for the News!

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i291/JoelCornah/Week248.png

And now for your regularly scheduled Phalian.

http://www.freewebs.com/joelcornah/photos/Volume-4---The-Quest-/Episode%20030.PNG

Don't forget that if you've lost track of The Phantom and Alien, you can look back though the...

PHANTOM AND ALIEN
COMIC ARCHIVE THING (http://joelcornah.webs.com/)

So DRINKO the Drinks Machine is back! I hope you're all happy with that. Apparently machinery can also go to the after life.

In a few weeks I'm going to do a little break from P&A. There will be a replacement comic for, I don't know, three weeks? It's going to be The Adventures of Alien's Dad. So, look forward to that!

[Galadriel55]

So, look forward to that!

Yes, sirree!

Btw, I love the Greenie and Agan picture. Where do you even get all these Downer photos?

Well, of course you won't tell me: a master never reveals his secrets. >.<

:Merisu:

[TheGreatElvenWarrior]

Well, there was something that I was going to poke at just now, but I forgot what it was I was going to say... Oh well...


Btw, I love the Greenie and Agan picture. Where do you even get all these Downer photos?

Well, of course you won't tell me: a master never reveals his secrets. >.<
From Facebook, of course. Be wary of ever friending Hookbill there lest you want your picture in the Downer too.

[Galadriel55]

From Facebook, of course. Be wary of ever friending Hookbill there lest you want your picture in the Downer too.

That would make sense. :rolleyes: I haven't thought of that, because, well, I don't have Facebook. :p

[Hookbill the Goomba]

For those of you wondering, this is what Bubble Buddha will look like if he ever appears in the Phantom and Alien...

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i291/JoelCornah/BubbleBuddha.png

He looks friendly, doesn't he?
Nobody knows what Bubble Buddha's philosophy was. They just know he was a happy bubble head who floated around the universe, kicking butt and fighting crime!

[Pitchwife]

Bubble Buddha is awesome!

[Blind Guardian]

Bubble gum!

[Galadriel55]

OMMMMM.....nom nom nom

:D


Nobody knows what Bubble Buddha's philosophy was.

Have a bubbly life! Don't burst my bubble! Bath foam with no proper bubbles is a sin!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Eeep! A bit late because I, um, forgot to post this last night. Sorry everyone!

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i291/JoelCornah/Week249.png

And now it's time for a special report from the unexpected adventures of Alien's Dad!

http://i54.tinypic.com/50qhs0.png

Don't forget that if you've lost track of The Phantom and Alien, you can look back though the...

PHANTOM AND ALIEN
COMIC ARCHIVE THING (http://joelcornah.webs.com/)

There are two more episodes of Alien's patriarch and his crazy adventures. Hope you enjoy them!

[TheGreatElvenWarrior]

What does Lommy think about these hedgehog penguin wars, exactly?

[Pitchwife]

What does Lommy think about these hedgehog penguin wars, exactly?
She's already deploying her forces (http://forum.barrowdowns.com/showthread.php?t=16637).

So how exactly did this thing in the jar develop into the mutant bus driver we all know and love?
And Alien's penchant for expressive non-sequiturs is obviously inherited from Daddy. Profound episode!

[narfforc]

Dear Editor, I feel that I must jump to the defence of Lalwende. If she were any more Northern she would leap about shouting 'Och aye the noo' every 3 minutes, and what's more she wouldn't own a whippet and wear a flat cap as she does, she'd own a Westie and wear a wee bonnet. So I can only deem that these so called experts who claim she isn't Northern work for Santa at the North Pole...

[Hookbill the Goomba]

I'm sure I had a plan for the 250th edition long, long ago. But I never wrote it down anywhere, so I had to make something up on the spot... Which is how I usually work.

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i291/JoelCornah/Week250.png

And now it's time for a special report from the unexpected adventures of Alien's Dad!

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i291/JoelCornah/Episode002.png

Don't forget that if you've lost track of The Phantom and Alien, you can look back though the...

PHANTOM AND ALIEN
COMIC ARCHIVE THING (http://joelcornah.webs.com/)

Next week is the SHOCKING and heart wrenching conclusion to the adventures of Alien's Dad! Believe me when I tell you; there's a twist at the ending that you'll never see coming! No, really, you'll NEVER GUESS. Unless you do...

[Galadriel55]

First of all, to put the main article in plainer terms, we miss BWH's posts around here! Lately all that he does (judging by the "Who's online" thingy) is search the Members List.

Secondly, I never knew that Pitchie was an orc. I don't think it was him: if he really was, he would be lynched on Day1 every WW game that he took part in. No one likes the nassty orcsees. The orc just wants to push off the blame.

And last but not least, I am not ImposterGaladriel54, but ImposterGaladriel56.

[TheGreatElvenWarrior]

The BWH does paperwork? :eek: I had no idea...

[Galadriel55]

The BWH does paperwork? :eek: I had no idea...

Well, he posted on the older threads, but nothing recent. And when I'm really bored I look at who is online and what threads they are viewing to see if there's anything interesting (in other words stalking), and I've seen BWH a few times, but every time he was looking through the Members list. Well, once - a User Profile. I wish he'd post more - after all, it's his website...

PS: Why am I saying this? It's only supposed to be about facts. :rolleyes:

PPS: he does indeed have a nice hat. :p

[Pitchwife]

Secondly, I never knew that Pitchie was an orc. I don't think it was him
You don't think so? I should have thought the greenish skin and bad teeth would have been a big give-away...
Sorry to disappoint you, but Hookbill never prints anything but pure crystalline truth.:p

(PS.- I love peanuts!)

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Sorry to disappoint you, but Hookbill never prints anything but pure crystalline truth.:p

Don't tell anyone that the Downer isn't printed. :eek:

[narfforc]

NO! I'm imposter Galadriel56...... you naughty imposter Galadriel54.

[Galadriel55]

NO! I'm imposter Galadriel56...... you naughty imposter Galadriel54.

Is that a confession, or a fake reveal? ;) :p

[narfforc]

Is that a confession, or a fake reveal? ;) :p


Err umm did I say that........ (change the subject quickly)....... what a nice day it is...

[Hookbill the Goomba]

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i291/JoelCornah/Week251.png

And now it's time for a the grand finale of the unexpected adventures of Alien's Dad!!

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i291/JoelCornah/Episode003.png

Don't forget that if you've lost track of The Phantom and Alien, you can look back though the...

PHANTOM AND ALIEN
COMIC ARCHIVE THING (http://joelcornah.webs.com/)

Phew!
We'll get back to the regular P&As next week. I hope you'll enjoy it.

[Galadriel55]

Aren't bananas the solution to everything?

[TheGreatElvenWarrior]

Dalek Bins? :D

[Blind Guardian]

Aren't bananas the solution to everything?

Yea, but this time he ate it.

Dalek Bins? :D

I was thinking more like Osama Bin Ladin.

[LadyBrooke]

Since a hat stand isn't legal currency, does this mean I can't bri...I mean gift someone with one?

Also, if anybody sees that skateboarding badger, ask it to come teach my cats some tricks. ;)

[TheGreatElvenWarrior]

I was thinking more like Osama Bin Ladin.
But the weapons found on that picture of the bin are from Daleks.

Observe weaponry:

http://www.daleklinks.co.uk/media/45719/supreme-dalek.jpg

Therefore it is a Dalek Bin. ;)

[Laurinquë]

So DRINKO the Drinks Machine is back! I hope you're all happy with that. Apparently machinery can also go to the after life.

But of course. The smouldering spectre of cheap coffee never dies.

Hedgehogs Vs. Penguins The Showdown
And if we're splitting into factions, hedgehogs are awesome. It's always wise to choose the side that has lots of spines.

[Blind Guardian]

But the weapons found on that picture of the bin are from Daleks.

Observe weaponry:

http://www.daleklinks.co.uk/media/45719/supreme-dalek.jpg

Therefore it is a Dalek Bin. ;)


HEY LOOK R2-D2! :eek:

[Glirdan]

Dalek Bins Of Doom!!!!!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i291/JoelCornah/Week252.png

Now we return to your regularly scheduled Phantom and Alien...

http://www.freewebs.com/joelcornah/photos/Volume-4---The-Quest-/Episode%20031.PNG

Don't forget that if you've lost track of The Phantom and Alien, you can look back though the...

PHANTOM AND ALIEN
COMIC ARCHIVE THING (http://joelcornah.webs.com/)

Yeah, if you're interested in P&A then a quick reminded from the archive might be useful after the Alien's Dad break. Just so you know.

Also, an idea has been floated for an animated version of Volume Three. What do you guys think? I could even farm out to some of you for voice talents if we get that far...

[TheGreatElvenWarrior]

Shouldn't that be Beef®? :p

[Galadriel55]

<3 this P&A! :D "You're not SUPPOSED to escape!" I love it!

[LadyBrooke]

*giggles* Hilarious P&A...so did Alien go to Arda Cup through the hole in the prison wall, and then come back and board it up? :p

....but I don't have a silly hat. Can I wear my pink and white Princess baseball hat instead?

On a more serious note, I think I shall read through the entire P&A archive, and the past issues of the newspaper as soon as I get a chance...as far as an animated version of P&A, it sounds wonderfully funny, though I'm afraid my voice is as high pitched as a little kids, so I would not make a good voice talent.

[Pitchwife]

Alien SLEEPS?!?

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Alien SLEEPS?!?

He sure does. As was established WAAAAYYY back in episode three (http://www.freewebs.com/joelcornah/apps/photos/photo?photoid=95075527) of the first ever volume!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

It's the News you chose to lose!

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i291/JoelCornah/Week253.png

Now we return to your regularly scheduled Phantom and Alien...

http://www.freewebs.com/joelcornah/photos/Volume-4---The-Quest-/Episode%20032.PNG

Don't forget that if you've lost track of The Phantom and Alien, you can look back though the...

PHANTOM AND ALIEN
COMIC ARCHIVE THING (http://joelcornah.webs.com/)

If you get the reference here, you've been reading P&A for a LONG time, my friend. Evil Mayo is back on the menu! Don't tell Morsul the Dark, though.

[LadyBrooke]

I made it into the newspaper...:eek: Yay! :D I promise not to shoot any of you guys, my family on the other hand.....

...now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go hide from the Ents. In my defense, the shield was for a school project. :p Unless there's people other then me making paper shields?

[Glirdan]

...now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go hide from the Ents. In my defense, the shield was for a school project. Unless there's people other then me making paper shields?

.............WASN'T ME!!! *Runs and hides*

On a side note....EVIL MAYO!!! XD

[Blind Guardian]

Evil Mayo!

[TheGreatElvenWarrior]

If you get the reference here, you've been reading P&A for a LONG time, my friend.

But the Evil Mayonnaise wasn't really such a long time ago. Because if it was, that makes me one of those ancient Downers. Huh.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Praise Eru! The News is just as true as it ever was...

http://i51.tinypic.com/2iazer8.png

Now we return to your regularly scheduled Phantom and Alien...

http://www.freewebs.com/joelcornah/photos/Volume-4---The-Quest-/Episode%20033.PNG

Don't forget that if you've lost track of The Phantom and Alien, you can look back though the...

PHANTOM AND ALIEN
COMIC ARCHIVE THING (http://joelcornah.webs.com/)

Sweet Baba Yaba! Phalian is getting to a sticky situation and no mistake! The plan unfolds. The digital watch of DEATH! It has... Powers... probably.

[Bom Tombadillo]

Hope and pray that the Time-Traveling Fish never teams up with the Dimension-Hopping Walrus.

In other news, in what variety of liquid would you drwon?

[TheGreatElvenWarrior]

TheGreatElvenWarrior actually a Dwarf, Studies Show.
No, no, no! You've got it all wrong! I am a hobbit actually. What? You thought I had a beard? That's preposterous! No, I do not have a beard.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

In other news, in what variety of liquid would you drwon?

... Ah poop. Fixed. :o

[Bom Tombadillo]

wwA. I was rather looking fowrard to buying some awter.

[Laurinquë]

No, no, no! You've got it all wrong! I am a hobbit actually. What? You thought I had a beard? That's preposterous! No, I do not have a beard.

Lies. You're totally a dwarf.

But the Evil Mayonnaise wasn't really such a long time ago. Because if it was, that makes me one of those ancient Downers. Huh

Not ancient, you're just of a certian vintage. Anyway, it was only recently that I have learned of the deplorable subastance known as "low-fat mayonnaise". Now I have a deeper appriciation for its powers of corrosiveness and tunnel-clearing.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Get your news coat on, folks!

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i291/JoelCornah/Week255.png

Now we return to your regularly scheduled Phantom and Alien...

http://www.freewebs.com/joelcornah/photos/Volume-4---The-Quest-/Episode%20034.PNG

Don't forget that if you've lost track of The Phantom and Alien, you can look back though the...

PHANTOM AND ALIEN
COMIC ARCHIVE THING (http://joelcornah.webs.com/)

The Downer would like to assure the public that no phones were hacked into to get these stories. So, Laurinquë, you don't need to worry about those terrible rumours getting out.
...
Wait...

[narfforc]

What a load of pants, give us real news, you're becoming a comic like that News of the World........ I'd like my pants hacked please............ pfffft.

[LadyBrooke]

Well, if ducks are being glued to everyone's pants, it's a good thing I have on a dress. :p

Also, that one story made my head hurt. Spell check is a gift from Eru, that should not be neglected...*

Especially when murder confessions are being made...

[TheGreatElvenWarrior]

Whatever the BWH has in his hands looks very much like the BD mug I made for myself in art class when I was fifteen.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Well, boil my face and skin my shoes! It's time for the news!

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i291/JoelCornah/Week256.png

Now we return to your regularly scheduled Phantom and Alien...

http://www.freewebs.com/joelcornah/photos/Volume-4---The-Quest-/Episode%20035.PNG

Don't forget that if you've lost track of The Phantom and Alien, you can look back though the...

PHANTOM AND ALIEN
COMIC ARCHIVE THING (http://joelcornah.webs.com/)

I'm not entirely sure what's going on in today's episode of P&A. Just some silly banter between our two heroes while they're in prison.
Next week there may be something of more substance. No promises, though. ;)

[Diamond18]

Joel, you are scary. It's like you knew that just a month ago, I was playing a Star Wars RPG with some friends, and we killed a Crate Dragon (or however it's spelled) and stole its eggs. The GM asked us if we wanted to try and hatch the eggs, or sell them.

I announced that I wanted to make an omelette out of mine.

And then I rolled to see how good of an omelette it would be, and I rolled a 20. It was deemed the best dragon egg omelette ever, and I fed it to my companions and we all got a +1 bonus for the rest of the "day" because of the lingering awesomeness of the omelette.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Hi guys!!

I'm going to be giving the Downer a rest for three weeks - mostly due to Finlandmoot. Also, I think I really need to get away from it for a while and come back to it with a fresh set of eyes and possibly a new layer of skin.
Feel free to post your own rival newspapers while I'm away, if you wish. ;)
THEY WILL BE JUDGED!

But, for this week only, here's a P&A!!

http://www.freewebs.com/joelcornah/photos/Volume-4---The-Quest-/Episode%20036.PNG

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

THE DOWNER DISAPPEARS IN A PUFF OF SMOKE

Barrowdowns, Eriador - The weekly newspaper known as the Downer has ceased publication after 256 issues, triggering a strong reaction among the community of wights.

Said one Oddwen: 'What will I use to clean up after my dog?'

According to the Barrow-wight Himself: 'This is preposterous! I just filed a libel suit against them!'

the phantom was quoted as saying: 'I finally get a rest from that highly fictional account of my life--Ah, blast, it's still there.'

Media personnel from other news groups, heretofore quashed in these parts due to the monopoly of The Downer, have converged at the scene of the disappearance, the printing press owned by one H. the Goomba, esq. Nothing was left of the said place, not even a crater or a brick, save for a note saying: 'Finlandmoot. Be back in three weeks.'

There have been rumours that the Barrowdowns Internal Revenue department has been preparing a tax evasion case against the aforementioned H. the Goomba, and that he has fled after hearing that a summons has been prepared and would be sent today.

According to Thenamir, head of the BIR: 'What tax evasion case? We don't even have a currency here! Unless you count barrels of ale as one.'

Reporters have contacted known citizens of Finland, but so far there has no response. Although a statement has been received from Thinlómien.

'Penguins, after him!'

Our field reporters shall continue this investigation after proper protection against penguins have been provided for. (Agence Felagundion Presse)

[Blind Guardian]

BARAD-DÛR NEWS


DRAGON ESCAPES

Due to a miscalculation by the orcs on duity a dragon snapped it's chain and flew off. Sauron himself flayed the orcs and sent a legion after the escaped Dragon. The Dragon left a mile of disturction through Mordor before exiting over the surounding mountains, leaving a little more then 3500 orcs dead. Warning: Sauron's not happy and the Witch-King has been seen.


MORGOTH RETURNS!

The Top Tower - A spokesorc has announced earlier today that the First Dark Lord Melkor "Morgoth" Bauglir has returned after a very long vacation. The Second Dark Lord has been noted to have said, "You [butt hole]! I told you not to announce his return! How dare you defy me, you [poop head]. I haven't yet figured out a way to get rid of him with out him knowing!" The spokesorc hasn't been seen since.

HE PLANS TO STOP THE PRINTING OF NEWSPAPER

805th floor - After the announcement of the First Dark Lord's return He has threatened Oddwen, the owner and editor of the Barad-Dûr Newspaper, that He will stop the printing of newspapers in Mordor if anything else is printed without His approval.
"What rubbish." Oddwen said, shaking, after meeting with the Second Dark Lord and God of All. "I have never printed anything that would suggest I don't support Him."


GOD OF ALL HAPPY AFTER ATTACK, DESTRUCTION
After an attack on a boarder city that left 115 dead and many houses burning the God of All is happy. God, silver, precious gems and an escaped Dragon were taken from the city earlier today. The Dragon is rumoured to be the same one that escaped yesterday. The town was up all night trying to evict the dragon an failed to see the oncoming legion that Our God sent after it.

[Aganzir]

Feel free to post your own rival newspapers while I'm away, if you wish. ;)
THEY WILL BE JUDGED!
Sure. :)

Once upon a time in a land flowing with beer and wurst, a stranger appeared. He was called Messy and his dress sense changed with the seasons. Quite often he would be observed window shopping in the most absurd manner possible.

This made Aganzir consider a new fetish - after all, she hadn't considered how attractive fish could be when skinned and boned - frying them though ruined it all. Nevertheless she strolled along until she met Hookbill who was carrying the phantom in his arms to the church. They had decided to get married and invited all the Barrow-Downers to the reception. Of course, this was a bad decision, in hindsight, as that included Thinlómien, who delighted in stealing the topper off the cake and generally causing an awkward silence broken only by Kath poking Shastanis Althreduin's guts with a stick.

Shasta, obviously, didn't quite approve, but having lost his arms and legs in a battle two years previously, there was little enough he could do about it. So Shasta was forced to join the guerilla gorillas, an infamous band of outlaws led by the fearless Redface Nogrod. Shasta soon became Nogrod's right-hand man and together they became known as the Terror Troop of the Wild West. Nothing could stop them until Sheriff Oddwen showed up and gunned Nogrod with her pink Kalashnikov. Nogrod died and was buried in the corner of the Central Park, right next to a playground. Five years later Lommy & Legate's child found his body and ate it, as she had been trained to do since birth by evil Auntie Aganzir.

Lommy howled at this and laid Legate's severed head at Volo's feet. Aganzir cackled in malicious glee and threw acid into the face of oncoming traffic!! It was so brutal that two exclamation marks were needed!! Both times. But not on the third time.

Anyway, people were getting bored and one by one they slipped away to play Apples to Apples. But it was not long till some of the ideas tossed around started to annoy morm, so we got nothing coherent out of him for quite some time. Not that we needed anything. Nogrod came up with the brilliant plan to make money by hiring the souls of his fellow Downers - those few who had souls obviously. He even tried selling Oddwen Malice's soul - for a ludicrous discounted price of two dollars and a cigarette, but Squatter had quit smoking years ago and got second thoughts almost the minute he made his offer.

Unfortunately for him, she accepted, and their baby was born nine months later. They named her Auschwitz-Birkenau because she was the most dreadful thing in the world. Well, right after Aganzir's twin sister Sharia, anyway.

**

Note: I didn't write this. Alone.

[Blind Guardian]

For some reason I thought you were satansaloser2005. Sounds like something she would write.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

After an unexplained absense the staff of the Downer suddenly returned, telling tales of blackmail and threats to family members. But, all that really matters is that the news is here again!

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i291/JoelCornah/Week257.png

Now we return to your regularly scheduled Phantom and Alien...

http://www.freewebs.com/joelcornah/photos/Volume-4---The-Quest-/Episode%20037.PNG

Don't forget that if you've lost track of The Phantom and Alien, you can look back though the...

PHANTOM AND ALIEN
COMIC ARCHIVE THING (http://joelcornah.webs.com/)

Thanks to Nilp, Blind Guardian and Aganzir for keeping this thread not-on-fire while the police investigated claims that none of the Downer staff had been involved in any hacking scandal. Obviously, we could not allow such accusations to go unchallenged. We hacked SO MANY phones, let me tell you!

[Estelyn Telcontar]

It is rumoured that there are records of The Phantom and Alien's holidays in some obscure country. For what it's worth, I hold a document that provides pictorial evidence:

http://i1136.photobucket.com/albums/n484/EstelynTelcontar/Fotos2011August285.jpg

[Hookbill the Goomba]

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i291/JoelCornah/Week258.png

Now a very special GERMAN version of the Phantom and Alien!! :o

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i291/JoelCornah/GermanVersion.png

Don't forget that if you've lost track of The Phantom and Alien, you can look back though the...

PHANTOM AND ALIEN
COMIC ARCHIVE THING (http://joelcornah.webs.com/)

I think only Finlandmooters might appreciate this week's P&A. Sorry about that.

[Galadriel55]

Hahaha! :D

I think only Finlandmooters might appreciate this week's P&A. Sorry about that.

No, just provide a link to the "I met a fellow BDer" thread and everybody will appreciate it... Although I still don't get where the joke came from... Everyone is just Wursting everyone else...

Oh, and -

++Skolo :smokin::p


By the way, how on earth do you pronounce the SCHWACHOPF word?

[Aganzir]

I'd rep you for the last two issues but I'd have to spread some reputation around first. In any case, I like flame throwers, cracked up at the picture of Legate and loved Phantom & Alien! :cool:

[Pitchwife]

Although I still don't get where the joke came from... Everyone is just Wursting everyone else...
It began with Hookbill trying to impress us Germans by speaking in our native tongue, but his efforts didn't go much further than "Das ist (k)eine Wurst" (or so he claimed). How and why that developped into a running gag is a quantum level mystery that defies exact reconstruction, and experts are still divided on whether or not Jon Snow had anything to do with it; they agree, however, that Squatter was definitely involved.

By the way, how on earth do you pronounce the SCHWACHOPF word?
'ʃvaxkɔpf.

As to the Mr Cool rivalry, I'm afraid I'll have to abstain from voting, having lost my impartiality together with my heart to a certain Swede on the ship back from Tallinn (sorry, Volo!). But I can safely say that whatever Volo's hat is made of, the hats of both contestants have been worn by an entire universe of people.

[Galadriel55]

'ʃvaxkɔpf.

O-kaaay... *nods as if she understands* :D

I get the general idea, though, kinda, maybe.


Oh, and -

Shoes yes good to eat, says Mr. Chaplin. :p:smokin:

[Hookbill the Goomba]

GET YER NEWS ON!!

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i291/JoelCornah/Week259.png

Now back to your regularly scheduled Phalian.

http://www.freewebs.com/joelcornah/photos/Volume-4---The-Quest-/Episode%20038.PNG

Don't forget that if you've lost track of The Phantom and Alien, you can look back though the...

PHANTOM AND ALIEN
COMIC ARCHIVE THING (http://joelcornah.webs.com/)

Oh my! The time travel hat!?! Do you guys even remember that thing? Even I barely do!

[Blind Guardian]

I am soooo confused. What is death about and why are you bringing up the Hat?

Moving on...

For some reason not all of the newspapers have been loading for me. That might just be the internet...

PS I love how phantoms eyes change.

PSS why is there a fake Alien and a real Alien?

PSSS nevermind I read back through the comic archive thingy.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Agh! Sorry I forgot to upload this at the usual time...

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i291/JoelCornah/Week260.png

Now back to your regularly scheduled Phalian.

http://www.freewebs.com/joelcornah/photos/Volume-4---The-Quest-/Episode%20039.PNG

Don't forget that if you've lost track of The Phantom and Alien, you can look back though the...

PHANTOM AND ALIEN
COMIC ARCHIVE THING (http://joelcornah.webs.com/)

Hope this is make you all happy! If not, please send your complaints to the Barrow Wight Himself. He'll deal with them, I sure won't. :p

[Oddwen]

The plot twists again!

So many hats!

[Aganzir]

SPANKYPANTS I hate you! Or love you, haven't decided yet. :D:D

♥

The previous issue was also terrific - it actually made me crack up at the uni library. I just never got around to praising it on the Downs.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i291/JoelCornah/Week261.png

Now back to your regularly scheduled Phalian.

http://www.freewebs.com/joelcornah/photos/Volume-4---The-Quest-/Episode%20040.PNG

Don't forget that if you've lost track of The Phantom and Alien, you can look back though the...

PHANTOM AND ALIEN
COMIC ARCHIVE THING (http://joelcornah.webs.com/)

The story is going to take some interesting turns in the next few weeks, so stay tuned to P&A goings on! Or don't, if you prefer.

Thanks to Oddwen for writing stories for the past three weeks. I don't think I mentioned her before, but, yeah. Woot for Oddy! :D

[Galadriel55]

:D

So Oddwen is the "Pickles" McSpankypants! Were you spanked and pickeled before you were searched? ;) I love that stuff.

[Oddwen]

:D

So Oddwen is the "Pickles" McSpankypants! Were you spanked and pickeled before you were searched? ;) I love that stuff.

Ahem!

Alfredo Norman "Pickles" McSpankypants-Winthorpe of Long Grange South III Jr. and I are mere acquaintances, thank you. Any allegations of spanking or pickling are mere whispered rumors, started and spread by our enemies. ;)

[Aganzir]

I am not going to say anything about this paper.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Okay, you guys, some big news!!!

COMING THIS CHRISTMAS...

THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN... ANIMATED SERIES!!!

Or at least a pilot episode thereof.
Yes, I've been thinking about this for a while and with my brother doing animation at collage, it all seemed like the right time for it. So, this week, I'm going to start putting together a screen-play for a P&A animated pilot episode. It'll be about five minutes long.
The idea is that the series (if we think we can do a full series) will follow the story of Volume Three, albeit with some changes here and there for the different format. I think it will end up being about 10 episodes, each 5-7 minutes long.
Why am I telling you this instead of springing it on you unannounced like I usually do? Well, because we can't do this alone! Firstly, we need some voice talent! Secondly, I think this is something we should have fun with and I want as many suggestions about how to do this as possible.

As soon as I've got the script done for the pilot I'll let you guys know what character voices we'll need. I'll do Alien, of course ;) . Still deciding weather or not to get my older brother to do the voice of the Phantom as he did in all the previous animated specials (http://www.freewebs.com/joelcornah/apps/videos/), or to get the actual phantom. Unless he'd like to do some other voice.
So, take a look through Volume Three (http://www.freewebs.com/joelcornah/apps/photos/album?albumid=9753528) and think about a character you could do the voice for!

[Legate of Amon Lanc]

Now that would surely be amazing!

I, hmm, I would have to think about it, but I would definitely like to take part, whichever way. In the end, I think I could do almost anything. Unless there is, of course, a specific need for Legate voice which should be done by Legate.

I expect all people starting to fight for Mr. Mop <3 ! Otherwise, my probably most favourite people (aside from Mr. Mop) were in the previous part, so in case you wanted to make the Return of General Crock-Face (or somebody from his band), I claim him; otherwise, like I said, really not much of a preference, at least not right now. But I'll take a look at it...

[Gwathagor]

Looking forward to it.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

It's not just voice actors we'll need, too! It occurred to me a few minutes ago that we could do with some music that isn't copy-righted. So, if someone wants to make us some crazy music, that'd be good. We can fall back on the theme tune as established in the previous animated specials, if need be, but it'd be nice to get a Downer with some musical skills in on the action. :)

We might also need a director! I think that once we have the script and cast set, we should arrange a Skype call in which we read-through the script and make sure we all know how we want to thing to sound. It'd be good to have a director for this. I'd be willing to do it if nobody else is, but if someone wants the job I'm not against having less work to do. ;)

I had a quick out-line session in my head earlier and I think these will be the voices for the pilot...

Peter Hampton
Beef Colins / Alien Collins
Gertrude Hampton
Jon Fillis
Fr Formy
Sister Mister
Baby Beef (Formally Baby Bob)
Baby Beef's father
Barry Wight
Saucepan Man
Beth the Barmaid
Boris

There may be more depending on how the script comes out. But I'm thinking the Pilot will go as far as Jon Fillis being given his bus.

[Oddwen]

Oh my soap! Coooool!

Maybe I'll get an audition tape done today...

[Oddwen]

Okay. I did a reading (http://one-733t-p0z3r.xanga.com/audio/5aac93982641/) of the first six-ish panels. I skipped the prologue because I didn't want to offend Death. ;)

I have a bit of experience with audio editing and would be willing to help out in that area if I can.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Okay. I did a reading (http://one-733t-p0z3r.xanga.com/audio/5aac93982641/) of the first six-ish panels. I skipped the prologue because I didn't want to offend Death. ;)

I have a bit of experience with audio editing and would be willing to help out in that area if I can.

I think you got the job! ;)
It's neat that you can do so many voices! We'll need people like that!

[Aganzir]

If you ever need a voice for the sea lady, you know whom to contact. ;)

[Glirdan]

Oh how I wish I had a microphone to join in the frivolities of an animated P&A!!! :( Le Massively Giant Sigh

[Hookbill the Goomba]

I've done a first draft of the script for the pilot episode. It'll run about 5 minutes long and covers stuff up to episode six of the comics. Though the order of events is shifted around a bit, so the 'cliff hanger' will be the church exploding.

That being said, there aren't that many characters to voice so far, but, as I said, it's not just voices we need. Nonetheless, here's the cast list...


CAST

MAJOR CHARACTERS

~ PETER HAMPTON (????)

~ ALIEN / BEEF COLLINS (Hookbill the Goomba)

~ GERTRUDE (????)

~ FR. FORMY (????)

~ JOHN FILLIS (????)


MINOR CHARACTERS

~ MR GROSS (????)
Has two lines while waiting at a bus stop with Gertrude

~ SISTER MISTER (????)
Has a short conversation with Formy about soap

~ AUNT BOB (????)
Tells Formy that Alien is causing trouble

Like I said, more than voices will be needed. We'll need someone to do the music, someone for sound effects and possibly a director! The more credits we can stuff into this thing, the better it will look. People might think we're good at it! :D
If you're interested in taking a part, let me know and I'll send you the script draft, but remember it's only a draft and it may chop and change as we go on.

[Oddwen]

I bet I can handle sound effects. Would I be creating/obtaining them and sending them on to you? I can do that. Let me know what you need, though you'll probably be partway into art production before you know the timing & such.

Bus/vehicle noises
Crashes
Clangs
Slams
Screams
Gloops
Glops
Explosions
Regurgitation
Death rattles
Soap bubbles
Choirs of angels for when The Phantom speaks
Ambient churchy-ness, mess hall-ness, bar-ness

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Time to shove some news in your eyes!

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i291/JoelCornah/Week262.png

Now back to your regularly scheduled Phalian.

http://www.freewebs.com/joelcornah/photos/Volume-4---The-Quest-/Episode%20041.PNG

Don't forget that if you've lost track of The Phantom and Alien, you can look back though the...

PHANTOM AND ALIEN
COMIC ARCHIVE THING (http://joelcornah.webs.com/)

I love Squatter's Alien costume. It's so... convincing!!

[Galadriel55]

Oh. My. Bubbles. :D

When I saw the Legate picture (since I saw it before I saw the title) I thought it's about him taking over the Itaril/Tauriel role in the comming TH movies. :eek::rolleyes:

[Oddwen]

This.....this is a thing of beauty.

[Legate of Amon Lanc]

When I saw the Legate picture (since I saw it before I saw the title) I thought it's about him taking over the Itaril/Tauriel role in the comming TH movies. :eek::rolleyes:

I hope not! :eek:

But this issue is really brilliant, I must say, and not just *that* article, but I really like the other one too! Perfect.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

We're still looking for more voice actors for the P&A show! If you're interested, let me know and I'll e-mail you the script. :D
Today I saw some of the first snippets of animation and it's looking pretty sweet.

Once we have enough people I'll start casting and we can really start to move on with this craziness.
These are the rolls we need to cast...

~ GERTRUDE

~ FR. FORMY

~ JOHN FILLIS

~ MR GROSS

~ SISTER MISTER

~ AUNT BOB

[Blind Guardian]

We're still looking for more voice actors for the P&A show! If you're interested, let me know and I'll e-mail you the script. :D
Today I saw some of the first snippets of animation and it's looking pretty sweet.

Once we have enough people I'll start casting and we can really start to move on with this craziness.
These are the rolls we need to cast...

~ GERTRUDE

~ FR. FORMY

~ JOHN FILLIS

~ MR GROSS

~ SISTER MISTER

~ AUNT BOB


Oh! I will! Pick me!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

NEWS!!

We've cast our first few characters for the Phantom and Alien animated series!
The part of Alien will be played by... Hookbill the Goomba. :p
The part of Peter Hampton / The Phantom will be played by Hookbill's brother Mattbill

And the part of Gertrude Hampton will be played by none other than Legate of Amon Lanc!
http://i51.tinypic.com/2hzy8l.png
Gertrude is the estranged wife of Philip Hampton who is also a bit strange. She's sarcastic, easily annoyed and absolutely determined to get to Cardiac Street on the other side of the City.

Legate was kind enough to do a few audition tapes for Gertrude and this gave me an idea. If you're interested in doing a character (or more than one) and have the script, send me some recordings of your talents and we can get a good idea of what this is going to sound like. :smokin:

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Time to poke some news into your eyes!

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i291/JoelCornah/Week263.png

Now back to your regularly scheduled Phalian.

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i291/JoelCornah/Episode042.png

Don't forget that if you've lost track of The Phantom and Alien, you can look back though the...

PHANTOM AND ALIEN
COMIC ARCHIVE THING (http://joelcornah.webs.com/)

MORE CASTING NEWS!

The part of Fr Formy will be taken by The Elf Warrior! His audition tape was superb.
I hope you all remember who Fr Formy is, in the series. He's this guy...

http://i53.tinypic.com/119ruqd.png

I hope Formendacil does not object.
Formy follows Alien on his adventures as they try to rebuild the church that Alien destroyed... somehow. They meet the Soap Pope, the Old Woman of the Seas and, of course, the Phantom himself!!

CAST

MAJOR CHARACTERS

~ PETER HAMPTON (Mattbill)

~ ALIEN / BEEF COLLINS (Hookbill the Goomba)

~ GERTRUDE (Legate of Amon Lanc)

~ FR. FORMY (The Elf Warrior)

~ JOHN FILLIS (????)


MINOR CHARACTERS

~ MR GROSS (????)
Has two lines while waiting at a bus stop with Gertrude

~ SISTER MISTER (????)
Has a short conversation with Formy about soap

~ AUNT BOB (????)
Tells Formy that Alien is causing trouble

[Galadriel55]

<3 Frodo pic.

The woods in Lommy's background look very much like those that i remember in Russia. Same continent, duuh. :p :D (/kidding... but still...)

Yay Legate and TEW!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

I meant to mention this earlier but was distracted by something... Probably pudding...

Anyway, the role of Aunt Bob has been taken by Blind Guardian!! (The BDer, not the band). Casting is well on the way towards being complete!!

CAST

MAJOR CHARACTERS

~ PETER HAMPTON (Mattbill)

~ ALIEN / BEEF COLLINS (Hookbill the Goomba)

~ GERTRUDE (Legate of Amon Lanc)

~ FR. FORMY (The Elf Warrior)

~ JOHN FILLIS (????)


MINOR CHARACTERS

~ MR GROSS (????)
Has two lines while waiting at a bus stop with Gertrude

~ SISTER MISTER (????)
Has a short conversation with Formy about soap

~ AUNT BOB (Blind Guardian)
Tells Formy that Alien is causing trouble

So, we're still looking for someone to play John Fillis, Mr Gross and Sister Mister!
Oddwen, you put in a few good voices earlier, do you want any of those? :D

[Oddwen]

I'm recording a tryout for Sister Mister now actually. :D

I'll get that to you soon.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

I'm recording a tryout for Sister Mister now actually. :D

I'll get that to you soon.

Ah, a brilliant audition! Consider yourself cast!!

CAST

MAJOR CHARACTERS

~ PETER HAMPTON (Mattbill)

~ ALIEN / BEEF COLLINS (Hookbill the Goomba)

~ GERTRUDE (Legate of Amon Lanc)

~ FR. FORMY (The Elf Warrior)

~ JOHN FILLIS (????)


MINOR CHARACTERS

~ MR GROSS (????)
Has two lines while waiting at a bus stop with Gertrude

~ SISTER MISTER (Oddwen)
Has a short conversation with Formy about soap

~ AUNT BOB (Blind Guardian)
Tells Formy that Alien is causing trouble

So, all we need now is the infamous John Fillis and the unfamous Mr Gross!! :eek:

[Gwathagor]

Is John Fillis the head with the sunglasses and the mortarboard hat?

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Is John Fillis the head with the sunglasses and the mortarboard hat?

No, John Fillis is the old man who slowly mutated into a monster during Volume Three. :eek:

[Gwathagor]

Link me a link, and I'll record an audition for him.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Time to poke some news into your eyes!

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i291/JoelCornah/Week264.png

Now back to your regularly scheduled Phalian.

http://www.freewebs.com/joelcornah/photos/Volume-4---The-Quest-/Episode%20043.PNG

Don't forget that if you've lost track of The Phantom and Alien, you can look back though the...

PHANTOM AND ALIEN
COMIC ARCHIVE THING (http://joelcornah.webs.com/)

Gwathagor, how's your audition coming along? :)

We're also looking for someone to take the voice of Mr Gross!! As soon as we get him we can start work on a screen test for the first scene. Won't that be exciting??

[Bêthberry]

Innocent as Bombadil that face is. Come to think if it, that face is.

[Galadriel55]

Innocent as Bombadil that face is. Come to think if it, that face is.

It is. :Merisu:

:D

Does that mean........ Nog will always win Werewolf? :P

As for Gimli... he should praise the skies that the phantom wrote about him. Or, rather, he should praise the phantom. :smokin:

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Is this the news? You bet your brains it is!!

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i291/JoelCornah/Week265.png

Now back to your regularly scheduled Phalian.

http://www.freewebs.com/joelcornah/photos/Volume-4---The-Quest-/Episode%20044.PNG

Don't forget that if you've lost track of The Phantom and Alien, you can look back though the...

PHANTOM AND ALIEN
COMIC ARCHIVE THING (http://joelcornah.webs.com/)

Sorry about P&A seeming a little lacking at the moment. My focus has been on the animation for a while rather than the comics. I should fix that.

Speaking of the animation, WE STILL NEED TWO MORE VOICES!!!

CAST

MAJOR CHARACTERS

~ PETER HAMPTON (Mattbill)

~ ALIEN / BEEF COLLINS (Hookbill the Goomba)

~ GERTRUDE (Legate of Amon Lanc)

~ FR. FORMY (The Elf Warrior)

~ JOHN FILLIS (????)


MINOR CHARACTERS

~ MR GROSS (????)
Has two lines while waiting at a bus stop with Gertrude

~ SISTER MISTER (Oddwen)
Has a short conversation with Formy about soap

~ AUNT BOB (Blind Guardian)
Tells Formy that Alien is causing trouble

We still need John Fillis and the unfamous Mr Gross! Gwathagor said he'd audition for John Fillis... How's that going, Gwath?
As soon as we get a Mr Gross we'll be ready to make a rough cut of the first scene.

[Blind Guardian]

What is the Phantom holding in the third scene?

[Legate of Amon Lanc]

What is the Phantom holding in the third scene?

The moustache he had just removed from his face, o'course!

[Boromir88]

The moustache he had just removed from his face, o'course!

I've had this question about the moustache for a while, might as well ask now. Is it a banana peel?

[Oddwen]

I've had this question about the moustache for a while, might as well ask now. Is it a banana peel?

No, it's hair that you grow on your face. They are easily removable by applying sufficient force, such as is generated by grasping and pulling on it.

[Boromir88]

No, it's hair that you grow on your face. They are easily removable by applying sufficient force, such as is generated by grasping and pulling on it.

Ahh, I suppose even easier to remove from the phantom's face, considering the phanct he's the phantom with questionable tangibility

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Ahh, I suppose even easier to remove from the phantom's face, considering the phanct he's the phantom with questionable tangibility

People who remember episode 100 of volume 2 will know that the moustache is fake and always has been. But is it a source of power? Probably?

CASTING UPDATE!!

Gwathagor is going to take on the roll of John Fillis, the man, the myth, the monster!

CAST

~ PETER HAMPTON (Mattbill)

~ ALIEN / BEEF COLLINS (Hookbill the Goomba)

~ GERTRUDE (Legate of Amon Lanc)

~ FR. FORMY (The Elf Warrior)

~ JOHN FILLIS (Gwathagor )

~ MR GROSS (????)

~ SISTER MISTER (Oddwen)

~ AUNT BOB (Blind Guardian)

We still need the unfamous Mr Gross! He's got a few lines, but if we go to series, he's only back once or twice more. Whereas John Fillis and the like will be around for a long time. I just hope Gwath can do monstrous noises. ;)