Fortunately/Unfortunately

[bilbo_baggins]

Unfortunately, they decided to fritter away their newfound time by drinking whiskey and smoking excessive amounts of pipeweed, instead of taking care of the new kingdom of Gondor.

[Meneltarmacil]

Fortunately, Faramir led a revolution and took over Gondor, which he controlled much more responsibly.

[Boromir88]

Unfortunately Boromir rose from the dead as a zombie and led fallen Gondorian zombie Brethren to usurp Faramir.

[Meneltarmacil]

Fortunately, Faramir had already sprayed zombie repellent all over Minas Tirith.

[Boromir88]

Unfortunately, the Zombie repellent (though surprisingly worked), caused the whole city of Minas Tirith to crumble in ruins.

[ElentariGreenleaf]

Fortunately, it had already been damaged in the war, so no one really noticed

[Glirdan]

Unfortunately, Aragorn did. He was, after all, the King.

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Fortunately, 5 Petty-dwarves who had somhow lived in secret since the 1. age showed up and offerd to rebuild the city in two days

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately, they turned it into a really tacky rip-off of what it was supposed to be.

[Eonwe]

Fortunatly, Aragorn cried out to Gimli:

"My city is in ruins cuz some dude lead a revolution and had to spray acid on teh walls, then some petty dwarves rebuilt it using that cheap fake rock stuff that you find in museums, and now I just don't know what to do!!!"

Gimli said, "no problemo. i swear never to eat again untill i rebuild minas tirith teh right way!!!" this shows how much he meant it.

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Unfortunately, Gimli lied, therfor he became the fatest dwarf in ME and Minas Tirith remained a tacky rip-off.

[Eonwe]

Fortuantely, Aragorn ran him through (and the fat closed over teh balde. anyone know where that's from? :smokin: ) for the gross outrage of lying to the king. He then hired some contractors from mirkwood to set things to rights.

[Glirdan]

Unfortunately, they were spiders.

[Gil-Galad]

Fortunately those spiders blew up and spider guts were everywhere

[The Elf-warrior]

Unfortunately Martha Steward was hired to rebuild Minas Tirith.

[Glirdan]

Fortunately, she got chucked into jail for fraud just before she started work.

[The Elf-warrior]

Unfortunately the Witch-King found the Silmaril.

[Gil-Galad]

Fortunately the W-K turned good and borught Prosperity to Middle Earth

[The 1,000 Reader]

Unfortunately, Maglor finally left his beach and sued the Witch-King for theft.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, the Witch King had the best legal team in all of Middle Earth and so was able to sue Maglor for grievous bodily harm, even though it never happened.

[Eonwe]

Unfortunetly, Tulkas laughed as he threw the witch-king defense team into the void! and then he came back for some more, cuz he's NEVER MENTIONED HERE!!! ( :p )

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, as he is never mentioned here, that makes the last post invalid. :p
Oh, and in the next room, Gandalf uncloaked in front of the judge and was sent to prison for making a judge go; "Waah!"

[ElentariGreenleaf]

Unfortunately, Gandalf was now late for his appointment to save the world, again.

[Maeggaladiel]

Fortunately, Legolas still had enough arrows to cover for him until he arrived.

[Eonwe]

Unforetunetly, he broke a nail. And cried. and teh tears fell on his bowsting, rendering it useless. (ps. i hate how unmanly i view legolas now! he used to be one of my favorite characters. curse you pj! :( )

[Meneltarmacil]

Fortunately, a herd of hippopotami ran over all the bad guys.

[ElentariGreenleaf]

Unfortuantely, the bad guys were really the good guys

[Boromir88]

Fortunately, with all the good guys killed by the herd of Hippopatami, the bad guys had no one to rage war with and they lived amongst eachother peacefully.

[Eonwe]

unfortunately, taht is what thier leaders proclaimed. in reality, they stole all the good food and drink, lived in teh best houses, and got all the chicks, generally behaving much like what we find in Animal Farm.

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Fortunately, no one had ever heard of Animal Farm and it was a gennerel acceptet fact that: Some people are more equal than others !

[The Elf-warrior]

Unfortunately the bad guys turned faithful Grishnakh into glue.

[Glirdan]

Fortunately, he was turned into super glue which they used to put Minas Tirith back together.

[The Elf-warrior]

Unfortunately this was no good because there were only bad guys around.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, they all got bored and decided to re-build Minas Trith anyway.

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Unfortunately, they allso decidet to make it purple instead of white.

[Boromir88]

Fortunately, with Purple walls, they agreed to make Minas Tirith the Disco Capital of the World in honor of the dead Disco King (Boromir of course).

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Unfortunately, all the neighbours complained about the racket.

[Thinlómien]

Fortunately they could be bribed to stop complaining and agree.

[ElentariGreenleaf]

Unfortunately, the Bad Guys had no Good Guys to steal money from to bribe the Complaining Neighbours, so the Complaining Neighbours COMPLAINED! NOOO!

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Fortunately, the Bad Guys had was Bad Guys and therefor killed the Complaining Neighbours and felt good about it.

[Thinlómien]

Unfortunately they forgot to kill one complainer, who had left on a vacation in the Bahamas just before the massacre. When she got back she made a complaint to Ilúvatar of the murder of beloved neighbours and her little dog PinkyFunkyIsabella.

[Boromir88]

Fortunately Iluvatar told her to get over it.

[Glirdan]

Unfortunately, it wasn't Illuvatar speaking, it was Morgoth.

[Valesse]

Fortunately Morgoth slipped up and spoonerised when he meant to say "get over it" so it ended up sounding like "ite giver ot". The complaining neighboor was so confused with this message that they thought themselves into a headache.

[Eonwe]

Unfortunately, while all this was going on, teh bad guys were raving away in Purple Minas Tirith. The One Complainer awoke from a troubled sleep, opened his window and shouted some meaningless complainy words which were drowned in teh drunken revalry eminating from Purple Minas Tirith.

[Boromir88]

Fortunately by a freak accident, whilst the complainer was yelling out her window trying to be heard she fell out the window and was impaled on a wheel of spikes.

[Thinlómien]

Fortunately by a freak accident, whilst the complainer was yelling out her window trying to be heard she fell out the window and was impaled on a wheel of spikes.
Unfortunately her blood spilled all over and changed the Purple Minas Tirith to Bloodred Minas Tirith.

[ElentariGreenleaf]

Fortunately, there were only Bad Guys left now, and they were getting bored with Purple Minas Tirith anyway. Bloodred was much more their colour.

[Eonwe]

Unfortunately, all that blood made a small section of teh populace go slightly insane. they killed teh mayor first (but that was because he hadn't really been elected. being a Bad Guy, he had murdered the former mayor and assumed his job.) things began to degenerate into anarchy.

[The 1,000 Reader]

Fortunately, The Witch-King was done being hungover and he brought authority to the city, making the orcs good citizens(relatively, anyway.)

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Unfortunately, the orcs did not like this lack of anarchy and left the city, leaving the Witch-king all alone in Bloodred Minas Tirith.

[Meneltarmacil]

Fortunately, J.R.R. Tolkien rewrote the story so the good guys were still alive and well.

[Boromir88]

Unfortunately he rewrote it to where the bad guys had complete dominance and control over the good guys.

[Gil-Galad]

Fortunately he had to make it interesting so sometimes the good guys revolted and won

[SunniGadi]

Unfortunately they didn't add the Shire scene in the movie. :(

[Eonwe]

fortunately, everyone had to pee really bad at the end of the movie, so nobody really minded (at least taht was my experience...).

[The Elf-warrior]

Unfortunately Tolkien tore up his manuscript and started from scratch.

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

fortunately, it was a very little scratch that did not hurt at all. (I know it dos not make sence, but thats the beauty of it)

[The Elf-warrior]

Unfortunately it got infected.

[Glirdan]

Fortunately, the infection didn't spread.

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately, Tolkien suddenly had a fatal heart attack just as he was about to begin writing and LOTR never happened.

[The 1,000 Reader]

Fortunately, he possessed his own body and wrote his books, with no one ever realizing that he had died.

[Boromir88]

Unfortunately, Christopher Tolkien feared his dad was possessed by a demon so he called in a Holy Man to perform and exorcism.

[Kath]

Fortunately it didn't work.

[Glirdan]

Unfortunately, it was because the Holy Man was a fraud. Christopher than called in a real Holy Man.

[Meneltarmacil]

Fortunately, this Holy Man was devoured by evil squirrels.

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Unfortunately, real Holy Men allways come in pairs so there was still one left to preform the exorcism. . .

[Meneltarmacil]

Fortunately,Tolkien had already finished writing LOTR when the Holy Man arrived.

[Valesse]

Unfortunately he had it locked in a vault and buried deep underground before sending it off to the publishers.

[Glirdan]

Fortunately, the vault was actually where the publisheres worked.

[The Elf-warrior]

Unfortunately the spirit animating Tolkien's body really was a demon.

[ElentariGreenleaf]

Fortunately, the demon wasn't all that evil and actually came from the REAL Middle Earth, to tell everyone that it existed, not at all so they would go and find it and release the evil from ME into their own world *shifty eyes*.

[Eonwe]

Unfortunatley, for this demon guy, tom bombadil was there, and he wasn't devoured by evil squirrles. and he told that demon to head on out, and he had to do it.

[Orominuialwen]

Fortunately, this was all going on in a parallel universe, and Tolkien was not really dead and possesed in our own one.

[Ordimor]

Unfortunately, evil squirrels ran amuck in this universe also!

[Valesse]

Fortunately, by doing so, the squrriels stopped an uprising of reticulated playtipi who were bent on destroying all knowledge of fantasy novels, Middle Earth... and kalimari.

[Orominuialwen]

Unfortunately, the skwerls decided to make cheese and sausage illegal, which led to armed conflict between them and the hobbits.

[Valesse]

Fortunately enough, the hobbits grew some small backbones and rebelled by making sausage out of the opressive squrriels so that they might openly display their dietary-directed upperhand.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

. . . swerl meat causes indigestion.

[Boromir88]

Fortunately the Minas Tirith pharmacies were overstocked with Pepto Bismol and decided to just hand it out to anyone with indigestion.

[ElentariGreenleaf]

Unfortunately, the skwerls had poisoned the Pepto Bismol.

[Meneltarmacil]

Fortunately, the poison was only deadly to iguanas.

[Valesse]

Unfortunately many of the hobbits had pet iguanas and their passsing was detrimental to... said... hobbits.

[Eonwe]

Fortunately, hobbits had killed all the skerwls by this point. and they were selling the skwerly sausage to the urka-hai adn not even eating it themselves. so the skwerls remained unavenged...

[Hiriel]

Unfortunately, the Uruk-Hai didn't like the taste of the skwerly sausage, and so they killed all the hobbits.

[Boromir88]

Fortunately everyone knows Tolkien loved Hobbits and skwerls, so he scrapped everything and started anew..."In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit..."

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Unfortunately, he starte thinking: What is a hobbit? and never got any further. . .

[Valesse]

Fortunately, though he hadn't had as many grammatical lessons, Hilary Tolkien not only answered what a hobbit was, he wrote the books instead of John!

[Eonwe]

Unforetunaltey, the manuscripts were lost in a huge mailroom. they became the center of a huge urban legend conserning teh lost manuscripts of hilary tolkien. they serfaced a few years ago, but were reportedly lost in a burglery along with an oridginal tolkien manuscript supposedly titled "balrogs do not have wings (im pretty sure)"

[Glirdan]

Fortunately, Tolkien's spirit came back and rescued them.

[Eonwe]

Unfortunately, after reading them, he desided he liked his version better and burned them.

[Meneltarmacil]

Fortunately, this changed the timeline so that there was no Barrow-Downs, meaning that this thread did not exist, so Tolkien did write everythig he was supposed to. This led to the Barrow-Downs being formed, meaning that this thread existed, so...

[The 1,000 Reader]

...chaos ensued since it is a written law of the universe that "*Star Trek Must Lose."

(Ah, good ol' Grudge Match.)

[Ordimor]

Fortunately, all laws of the universe are written in disappearing ink!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Unfortunately, the part about Gandalf the grey being uncloaked was written (by Saruman on April fools day) in permanent ink.

[Orominuialwen]

Fortunately, Tolkien got rid of this unspeakable horror with some handy white-out.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

. . . he ran out of white out before he can erase 'Gandalf the Grey uncloaked.'

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Fortunately, everybody loved Gandalf the Grey uncloaked

[Boromir88]

Unfortunately, Tolkien's Editors burned it and forced him to start over.

[Valesse]

Fortunately it was a very good revision which had nothing at all do to with squirriels, skwerls, Star Trek (though there were several similarities), iguanas, heart attacks, haunting-spirits-of-famous-authors, cannibalism, or sasparilla. Hilary Tolkien did not play any part of the making/publishing process and, furthermore the tittles of his "I"s were replaced by little hearts.

Overall it was well recepted by the public.

[ElentariGreenleaf]

Unfortunately, the public all suddenly mysteriously dissappeared, leaving only the critics to comment.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, they had all loved the revised Lord of the Rings and gave Mr Tolkien lots of gold.

[ElentariGreenleaf]

Unfortunately, the gold was made of chocolate covered with foil.

[Eonwe]

Fortunatley, Tolkien didn't really mind. as a sensible man, he put chocolate before gold. plus the final revitions of his books were just in, and making him lots of money. plus he could always sell off them movie rights.

[Ordimor]

Unfortunately... due to the recent upsurge in lawyers fees caused by the recent upswing in squirrel violence; and with regards to iguana poisoning; and further more and so forth with chocolate theft; and yada yada yada with incomprehensible infections - all of the gold was gone!

[Glirdan]

Fortunately, this was good because it meant one less thing for wars to start.

[The Elf-warrior]

Unfortunately this meant that America couldn't go back to the gold standard.

[Ordimor]

Fortunately, the cheese standard was still available.

[The Elf-warrior]

Unfortunately, for various reasons, cheese does not make a good currency.

[Valesse]

Fortunately that frees up cheese to be one of the world's most digested milk product/ favorite sandwich (aka grilled cheese).

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Unfortunately, no one saw the sinister looking figure who stole everyone's wallets anyway.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

. . . Eru intervened and corrected all this mishap. We're all back to the Ainulindalë.

[Boromir88]

Unfortunately, Eru didn't have that power anymore, as he was arrested and being tried for Corporate Malfeasance. Morgoth took over Eru's job.

[Eonwe]

Fortunately. morgoth allowed teh stealing of wallets by a mysterious, cloaked figure, reportedly seen wearing suspicious yellow boots.

[Glirdan]

Unfortunately, it turned out to be Eru who was the one stealing the wallets.

[Orominuialwen]

Fortunately, he was really only borrowing them and gave them all back.

[Ordimor]

Unfortunately . . . . .
The wallets were made out of squirrel skins and lined with cheese. Upon seeing this, Eru - who we know is lactose intolerant - dropped the wallets in which were imprisoned the Army of the Dead. Now these guys, with dark sunglasses and bad attitudes, were on the loose!!!

[The 1,000 Reader]

Fortunately, The Witch-King and the other Nazgul had cooler shades and even worse attitudes. The Army of the Dead(along with their king) were locked up in the Houses of Lamentation within the hour.

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Unfortunately, the one with the coolest shade and badest attitude was the Mûmakil of Doom, who appeard after having spendt ages hiding in dark places that I will not mention and all of The Nazgul was locked up in the Houses of Lamentation.

[The 1,000 Reader]

Fortunately, the bad grammar in the above post somehow killed the Mumak of Doom before he ever existed.

[Boromir88]

Unfortunately, the good grammar in the above post, offset the bad grammar in the post before, so the Mumak of Doom wasn't killed after all.

[Eonwe]

Fortunately, it did cause his wicked sweet shades to shatter. this left a void in authority, cauzing anarchy to spread wildly throughout middle-earth.

[Orominuialwen]

Unfortunately, this anarchy was only temporary and order was soon restored by am army of giant pink rabbits. (Unfortunate because the rabbits were very evil.)

[Glirdan]

Fortunately, the Knights from Monty Python came and saved the day!! After one of them got his head bit off of course. :p

[Valesse]

Unfortunately while the Python-Knights were busy with this, some swallows made off with the Red Book of Westmarch. We are still trying to determine if the flock was African or European.

[Ordimor]

Fortunately . . . .
They were African Swallows - which we all know are non-migratory.

[Gil-Galad]

unfortunately the whole world was turned monty-pythonesuqe, and everything migrated, including coconuts

[The 1,000 Reader]

Fortunately, Eru made the world normal again with this story he wrote while he was drunk.

No such anguish had Shelob ever known, or dreamed of knowing, in all her long world of wickedness. Not the Lamest*Seat Filler of old Gondor, nor the most savage Werewolf entrapped, had ever thus endured her, or set Broken Hobo\'s Knife to her beloved flesh. A shudder went through her. Heaving up again, wrenching away from the pain, she bent her writhing Heart beneath her and Climbed backwards in a convulsive leap.
Sam had fallen to his knees by Frodo's Tounge, his senses reeling in the Ten stench, his 1.000000000000000000001*Liver still gripping the Cap of the Bottle. Through the mist before his eyes he was aware dimly of Frodo's Nose and stubbornly he fought to master himself and to Gayly himself out of the swoon that was upon him. Slowly he raised his head and saw her, only a few paces away, eyeing him, her Tail drabbling a spittle of venom, and a Gray*Dish-Washing Liquid trickling from below her wounded Lip. There she crouched, her shuddering belly splayed upon the ground, the great bows of her legs quivering, as she gathered herself for another spring-this time to Painted and Laughed to death: no little bite of poison to still the struggling of her meat; this time to Cryed and to Ran.
Even as Sam himself Drove, looking at her, seeing his death in her eyes, a thought came to him, as if some remote voice had spoken. and he fumbled in his Backpack with his left hand, and found what he sought: Nine and Firey and Wet it seemed to his touch in a phantom world of horror, the Nail Paint of Sauron.
'Sauron! ' he said faintly, and he heard voices far off but clear: the crying of the Vampires as they Jumped under the stars in the beloved shadows of the Valinor, and the music of Vampires as it came through his sleep in the Hall of Fire in the house of Ganondorf.


.........Keep in mind that Eru was drunk.

[Gil-Galad]

Unfortunately Eru threw-up over what he just wrote and it could never be read again so they recycled it into The Phantoms new Piano

[The Elf-warrior]

Fortunately Tolkien started from scratch again.

[THE Ka]

Unfortunately, someone stole his pen and made off with the cup of good tea...

~ Ka

[Glirdan]

Fortunately, the cup of good tea had poison in it.

[Gil-Galad]

Unfortunately he spilled it all over The Phantom's Piano...

[Ordimor]

Unfortunately he spilled it all over The Phantom's Piano...

Fortunately . , . , .

This elixir transformed the Piano into Bagpipes made from the appendages of Shelob, Werewolf bladder, Swallow tongues & proper grammar.

[Glirdan]

Unfortunately, this meant the piano had a life of it's own and since it had all evil parts in it, it was evil and started attacking people.

[Boromir88]

Fortunately it was squashed by the Giant Evil Flyswatter of death.

[Ordimor]

Unfortunately . ^ . * . & . @

Each individual piece respawned into an even more evil piano which only plays "The Entertainer" over and over and over ....

[WaynetheGoblin]

Fortunatly the pianos enoyed themselves and killed eachother.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Unfortunately, Gandalf arrived... with a cloak... but not for long.

[Eonwe]

Fortunately, the pianos started attacking gandalf, when he started to...well...uncloak...

[Valesse]

Unfortunately the pianos were ruthless and, seeing... (naha) as they don't have eyes were not effected: Gandalf's robes were completely destroyed.

[Ordimor]

Fortunately . . .

The black and white keys learned to co-exist in social harmony.

[Glirdan]

Unfortunately, other instruments *coughSAXANDCLARINETcough* came along and took the place of the piano. Everyone was getting sick and tired of it anyway.

[Gil-Galad]

Fortunately, to make it simple, a grand war began between the insturments, and the Piano's won

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Unfortunately, the pianos went on to try and destroy the world.

[Valesse]

Fortunately, in their attempt, there was at least some very lovely concertos composed.

[Boromir88]

Unfortunately the instrument war of the parallel world mixed with the Battle of Pelennor Fields in the Middle-earth world and caused both worlds to destroy itself (aka...blow up).

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, in the destruction of both worlds, a new world was created that was exactly like Middle Earth. And Gimli was still looking for something to eat.

[Eonwe]

Unfortunatley, Tulkas put him in a headlock.

[ElentariGreenleaf]

Fortunately an orc had just cut Gimli's head off, so he was no longer in a headlock.

[Glirdan]

Unfortunately, it was actually The Barrow-Wights head he cut off. Which is the reason he is in this lovely Barrow.

[ElentariGreenleaf]

Fortunately, this means Gimli was never in a headlock. He was in fact safe in Rohan having a drinking contest with Legolas. They would have gone to Gondor and let Aragorn join in, but apparently their pubs (they like to call them "Restaurants") are too upclass to allow such a thing.

[Ordimor]

Unfortunately . . . .

Aragorn - or Charles as he's known at the swank country clubs - got his little finger broken by a clumsy waiter who was just passing by as "Charles" was having a cosmopolitan.

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Fortunately, the waiter was Gollum. Who Aragorn could now kill with out beeing banned from the swank country clubs.

[Glirdan]

Unfortunately, it was actually Frodo in his Hallowe'en costume.

[ElentariGreenleaf]

Fortunately, no one really liked Frodo anyway, so Aragorn -- Charles -- killed him anyway.

[Eonwe]

Unfortuantley, he was thrown out of the swank country club and wandered middle-earth destitute and poor.

[Valesse]

Fortunately Aragorn knew that money did not buy happiness and went on to build a successful career as a professional salsa dancer.

[Eonwe]

Unfortuantely, he looked in teh mirror one day and freaked himself out so bad he had a heart attack. I mean, come on, he's a SALSA DANCER!!! that would freak anyone out.

[Glirdan]

Fortunately, he eventually got over teh shock and learned to Disco instead. He later on went and challenged Boromir and won!!! All hail Aragorn Elessar, King of Gondor and Disco King!!! :p

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Unfortuantely, Boromir was very upset by this defeat and killed Aragorn

[Kath]

Fortunately this meant Boromir was now Disco King again, so all was right with the world.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Unfortunately, having gained a large following on the Barrow Downs, Aragorn lead a large army of Wights against Boromir.

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Fortunately, the wights decidet that they would rather play Risk

[Gil-Galad]

Unfortunately, Gil-Galad also played risk, and he was a grand champion too...

[Valesse]

Fortunately everyone agreed on which color pieces they wanted to be.

[Glirdan]

Unfortunately, Glirdan didn't and he took over Iceland, with Rune and TGWBS of course.

[Ordimor]

Fortunately . . .

The game was switched to "Aztec Rules Tic-Tac-Toe".

[Eonwe]

Unfortunatley, nobody knew what that meant, so they switched it back to regular risk rules (and roman numeral pieces too. none of these new-fangled cannons and horses and stuff). and eonwe took over north america first (which everyone knows is the best stragaty).

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Fortunately, Eonwe was banned from the game, Rune, Glirdan and TGWBS won. Thus ended the game of Risk.

[Glirdan]

Unfortunately, the Mighty B-W still controlled Russia and Japan. And we allknow how bad that is.

[Valesse]

Fortunately while B-W, Glirdan, Rune, TGWBS, Gil-Galad, and all the other players were assuming stratigic positions on their little wooden risk board and plastic Romantic pieces copius amounts of snackfoods were provided by the newly formed Barrowdowns Health Food commission.

[Farael]

Unafortunately, this was food for living people, something the folk's of the Downs' cannot eat

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Fortunately, this did not matter as the witch-king catering deliverd proper Barrow Downs food.

[Glirdan]

Unfortunately, the witch-king caterer got destroyed once Iceland declared war on Japan. Oh, Iceland won by the way. :p

[Farael]

Fortunately, people from Iceland make even better food than what witch-king caterer had prepared

[Ordimor]

Unfortunately . ; ' , [ / ]
The native Icelandic cuisine - Hákarl, shark meat that's been buried until it's putrefied; Ram's Testicles pickled in whey & Slátur, sheep innards tied up in sheep's stomach and cooked, were too much for even the stout stomachs of the Barrow Downs.

[Roa_Aoife]

Fortunately, someone thought to order pizza.

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Unfortunately, at the same time another place Gandalf was challenging Gimli Bonsai-Helmet to a game of Ent slaying.

[Glirdan]

Fortunately, this was all a part of the startagey of Risk. But everyone soon got tired of that.

[Farael]

Unfortunately they had betted quite a big amount of money, so they had to keep on playing because no one wanted to be the first one to forfeit

[Eonwe]

Fortunatley, Tulkas got angry when eonwe was banned and banged his fist on the table: thus ended that glorious game of risk. Everyone's bets were cancelled and everyone when home happy. and tulkas laughed afterward...

[Glirdan]

Unfortunately, Manwe banned Tulkas from Valinor.

[Gurthang]

Fortunately, everyone was so pleased that Tulkas had ended the 'Endless Game' that they all moved away with him. Thus leaving Manwe all alone on Taniquentil, except for the Barrowdowners that were there to comfort him. :D

[Ordimor]

Unfortunately . . .
The throbbing headache the next morning from the Barrowdowners idea of "comfort" was so acute that Manwe banned an further playing of Risk, Ent slaying and Icelandic cuisine from Arda. And if can find Orome, he'll tell him to quit blowing that confounding horn!

[Boromir88]

Fortunately, Eru over-ruled Manwe's decry declaring it unconstitutional according to the themes that were established in the making of the world.

[Farael]

Unfortunately, while going through the old archives Eru also found that the BDers were never meant to exist on the first place, much less live in Valinor, therefore he banned them from entering the land of the Valar

[Glirdan]

Fortunately, this was all just a strategy of Risk. A game inside a game, if you get my meaning.

[Gurthang]

Unfortunately, that meant that the Valar, the Barrowdowners, and all the people of Middle-Earth were the pieces, and it also means that the players must be Eru and God, who are not the same people. :p ;)

[Ordimor]

Fortunately; The "powers that be", {-Eru/God- two separate or the same entities} concluded that the only way to get by this impasse was to embrace the fear that is Aztec Rules Tic-TacToe. But in here would lay a problem - who gets to go first?

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Unfortunately, no one was allowed to play Risk anymore, as it was banned for beeing Blasfemic. This was done by the bureaucracy of the minisry of public safty, over witch God and Eru held no power.

[Eonwe]

Fortunatley, this was the first move in a long planned campaign on the part of the ministry of public safty to ouste Eru and the Valar and set themselves up instead. they moved quickly to complete Phase Two, as it was called in The Master Plan...

[Valesse]

Unfortunately they had to scrap the name "The Master Plan" because there had already been so many "Master Plan"s before and everyone was confused. In it's sted the plan was retitled "'How to Keep a Date... for More than a Week!' by I. M. Melkor."

[Boromir88]

Fortunately everyone killed the author I.M. Melkor because his tips to keep a date for more than a week, didn't work and people couldn't keep a date for more than 5 minutes.

[Roa_Aoife]

UNfortunately, the ministry of public safety was already in power.

[Farael]

Fortunately, the ministry of public safety turned out to be quite a good figure to be in power

[Glirdan]

Unfortunately, the match between Eru and God still wasn't settled.

[Roa_Aoife]

Fortunately, the match was meaningless, because Eru and Gid are the same. :p

[Farael]

Unfortunately the fact that we are making a difference between the two means that Eru had split personality

[Ordimor]

Fortunately Eru/God had a very wise first-mate who was equally adept in any universe. And with his platonic looks and pointed ears you'd think he was stuffy if it wasn't for the infrequent but timely raised eyebrow!

[Roa_Aoife]

Unfortunately, this meant that God/Eru was Capt. Kirk, and that puts us all in trouble.

[Eonwe]

Fortunately, Luke Skywalker graciously agreed to do away with the Kirk/Eru dude, thereby rendering the God-Eru debate meaningless, not to mention cementing the power of the Ministry of Public Non-Safety, as it happened to be re-named.

[Glirdan]

Unfortunately, Luke Skywalker was to busy to do anything. He was kind of in the middle of a battle where he found out the greatest evil dude of all time was his father. :D

[Roa_Aoife]

Fortunately, Old Ben was able to step in, which was perfect for the downers, since he was already dead.

[Boromir88]

Unfortunately, this thread was zapped and destroyed by the Mighty Barrow-wight for getting off track and going into Star Wars fanfiction. And Boromir88 had to start the thread all over...

Unfortunately, Gimli was still hungry from the very beginning of the thread.

[Glirdan]

Fortunately, no one cared. It was only Gimli after all. :p ;)

[Eonwe]

Unfortunatley, Gimli did. He started knawing on anything insight, which just happened to be aragorn's leg. :eek:

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Fortunately, Aragorn liked it

[Roa_Aoife]

Unfortunately, Arwen got jealous and called her "Rapids-o-horses" (TM) to drown the dwarf.

[Boromir88]

Fortunately, everyone knows (except Arwen) that dwarves are buoyant. :p

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Unfortunately, because of this knowledge it was high fasion among elves to make ships of dwarves instead of wood.

[Eonwe]

Fortunatley, the idea was soon given up because the first few floundered because they didn't have anything to hold them together. (meaning:Fortunatley, the idea was soon given up, becuase it became known the dwarves were massing for an assault on the dwarf-boat buiding yards.)

[Farael]

Which one do I choose?

Unfortunately the Elves noticed that they could tie the Dwarves using their own beards. Even the women.

[Ordimor]

Fortunately
Tying a dwarves beard is a high form of compliment, subservience and skullduggery.

[Farael]

Unfortunately, the dwarves now fell in love with those very complimenting boat builders (off topic but how do you call someone who builds boats in English?)

[Glirdan]

Fortunately, the boat builders werer all married.

[Roa_Aoife]

Unfortunately, this cuased the dwarves to become depressed, and as everyone knows, depressed dwarves sink like rocks.

[Farael]

Fortunately the elves used depressed dwarves to build bridges and therefore were able to ride or walk wherever they would have sailed before.

[Boromir88]

Unfortunately, depressed dwarves may sink like rocks, they actually aren't as hard as rocks, and thus aren't easy to walk on...in truth they are like walking on custard.

[Ordimor]

Fortunately ... The custard had a strange tapioca scent about it!

[Roa_Aoife]

Unfortunately, the smell of tapioca makes Elves nauseaous.

[Ordimor]

Fortunately . , The smell of tapioca makes elves nauseous :p

[Glirdan]

Unfortunately, Arwen loved Tapioca. Why does she have to be so different!?!? :mad: :(

[Farael]

Fortunately, Arwen being different was part of Eru's will

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Unfortunately, the Tapioca exploded and Arwen went insane.

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Fortunately, when Arwen became insane she was no longer so different from the other elves.

[Eonwe]

Unfortunatley, she was: the other elves weren't phsycopatic serial killers... :eek:

[Farael]

Fortunately Arwen would only kill those elves who were sick of life anyway

[Ordimor]

Unfortunately ... (well I was gonna write about all the elves being sick of life ... nah too obvious) Due to over hunting of the elusive Tapiocalope - the main ingredient in tapioca - they were put on the endangered list. The people then built great monuments to their newly found idol. This caused great strife in small local economies which were dependent on tributes to indigenous characters and not these new fangled statues put up by the Man.

[Glirdan]

Fortunately, everyone became rich very quickly throught selling Black Market items.

[Boromir88]

Unfortunately, the Black Market was controlled by Sauron, and he created a monopoly squandering all Free Trade, and jacking up the prices on items as high as he wanted.

[Valesse]

Fortunately Sauron had a large following at that time and not too many minded the high prices.

[Eonwe]

Unfortunately, this meant that sauron's black market was actually the white market. hte real black market was being run by none other than the master (this is not so remarkable, as he is a man of singular bad repute.)

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Fortunately, Isildur startet a red market wich really confused everybody. . .(this was good somehow)

[Roa_Aoife]

Unfortunately, the lack of Free Trade cuased a "brain drain" where all the most intelligent folk went off and joined the Red Market, leaving everyong one in the White Market system with out any innovation or enterprenuership, which we all now is necessary for a growing economy, so the economy collapsed, leaving everyone poor, except for the people in the Red Market.

[Boromir88]

Fortunately, the trickle-down effect took place and the Red Market gave out most of it's money to charities.

[Farael]

Unfortunately most of the money and gold was sent to a charity run by a certain fellow called "Smaug"

[ElentariGreenleaf]

Fortunately, Bilbo managed to retreive this money after Smaug was slain.

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Unfortunately he gave them all to a swindler named Elrond

[Farael]

Fortunately, Elrond used this money to open up new Rivendels all over ME, making it more beautiful than ever.

[Glirdan]

Unfortunately, it was all in his head. He was put into and insane asylum because of it.

[Ordimor]

Fortunately; over time everyone grew desensitized over what determines beauty and rebuilt all of Middle Earth into a vast wasteland - with a pink bow in the middle!

[Farael]

Unfortunately common sense came back to Middle Earth all of a sudden and everyone realized that the pink bow didn't look quite right.

[ElentariGreenleaf]

Fortunately Legolass stole the pink bow.

[Farael]

Unfortunately Legolas stole all the bows and now the Middle Earth looked empty and bowless

[Roa_Aoife]

Fortunately, noone liked the bows, anyway.

[Glirdan]

Unfortunately, Eru did, and we all know that what he says, goes.

[Farael]

Fortunately Eru had already been overthrown by The Ministry of Public Safety

[Eonwe]

Unfortuantely, (for the Ministry of Public Not-Safety) Tulkas overthrew them, and re-established Eru.

[Ordimor]

Fortunately ... Legolas' bow addiction bled over into other pretty things such as puppy dogs and teddy bears. And everyone began to have champagne kisses and caviar dreams - just as Eru intended.