Fortunately/Unfortunately

[Farael]

Fortunately he smote Morgoth by throwing all those wheeled structures into the void, which un-voided the void and thus created a paradox that destroyed all those structures along with a good chunck of Morgoth.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Unfortunately, Morgoth was then angered and decided to be evil again. He then rebuilt Mount Doom, Minas Tirith, Orthank and Barad-Dûr and then attached wheels to all of them. He even made Bag-End into a racecar.

[elronds_daughter]

Fortunately, Morgoth didn't do a very good job at putting the wheels on, so they fell of.

[gralin musicteeth]

Unfortunately, I showed up and told everyone they have five minutes before they have to come in for supper.

[Naria]

Fortunatley, in that five minutes the pit crew were able to put the tires back on all five of the race cars!

[JennyHallu]

...they forgot the lug-nuts.

[Glirdan]

Fortunately, Eru happened to walk by and gave them a box full of lug-nuts.

[malkatoj]

Unfortunately, divine intervention doesn't usually yield very promising results, and all the lug-nuts exploded simultaneously as soon as Eru left.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

. . . Eru doesn't leave, he's omnipresent. :p

[JennyHallu]

...that doesn't mean anyone knows he's there.

[Eonwe]

Fortunatley, the lug-nuts didn't explode...cuz Eru is omniprestent. Unfortuantly, Gimli started throwing them at the heads of rabid fan-girls swooning for MovieLegolas.

[elronds_daughter]

(Eonwe, how is that unfortunate?!)

Fortunately, this severely deterred the fangirls, and a stray lug-nut also hit Movie Legolas in the head, rendering him immobile and unconscious.

[Glirdan]

Unfortunately, he wasn't put into a coma. (someone PLEASE contradict me and say that he was!! :( )

[Farael]

Fortunately, Farael walked by and decided to claim that he actually WAS put into a coma.

[Eonwe]

(Its not, actually. Well depending on who you are I guess... :D )

Unfortuantley, Movie Legolas, on Death's doorstep, realized he didn't have the fee to pay the porter, so Death wouldn't let him in.

[Roa_Aoife]

Fortunately, everyone pitched in.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Unfortunately, there wasn't enough as most people had spent too much on removing wheels from large structures.

[Boromir88]

Fortunately Death always wanted the World Disco Champion trophy, so he agreed if Legolas found the trophy (which Boromir had) and brought it back to him. Legolas would then be allowed in.

[JennyHallu]

...Boromir only had the trophy after a long and drawn-out dance battle with death and wouldn't give it up.

[Farael]

Fortunately, death accepted a disco-dancing challenge from legolas to see whether or not he would be allowed into the lands of the death.

[JennyHallu]

Unfortunately, Legolas had previously sprained an ankle on Cerberus' paw.

[Meneltarmacil]

Fortunately, that was a long time ago and Legolas had completely recovered.

[Glirdan]

Unfortunately, as he was sliding down an oliphaunt's trunk, he tripped, fell and broke his neck.

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Fortunately, he liked the feeling and so he did it again and again.

[Farael]

Unfortunately he should have been killed, yet Death would not let him into the lands of the dead and so Legolas kept on going, making the oliphaunt VERY angry

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

. . . the Oliphaunts ground him to pieces and chewed on his entrails. He ain't dead, just digested.

And then, he becomes Oli-poop! :D

[Gil-Galad]

Unfortunately, nobody listens to Nilp's theories on Oli-Poop and it was quickly disregarded. Why? because Gil-Galad says so! thats why!

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

. . . nobody listens to Gil-galad, either. :p

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Unfortunately, a little dwarf named Josti by chance heard some of the words spoken by Gil-Galad and was crippled for life

[JennyHallu]

Fortunately, Death happened to be a well-qualified physical therapist.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Unfortunately, he was crippled for life, so death couldn't do anything.

[JennyHallu]

(sorry, just trying to ease his pain)

Fortunately, Josti's aunt's mother's cousin's next-door-neighbor's granddaughter's sweetheart was a lawyer, and agreed to take on Oli-poop Legolas' case.

[Glirdan]

Unfortunately, because that got so confusing what with the mother and the aunt and neighbors, the lawyer went insane and was put into a mental institute.

[Eonwe]

Fortunatley, it didn't matter, because everyone in teh legal system is already insane.

[JennyHallu]

Unfortunately, Death bribed the judge (using extra years of life) to rule that he wasn't dead.

[Maeggaladiel]

Fortunately, the judge was elven and therefore already immortal, so as soon as he realized this, he decided to disregard Death's offer.

[Glirdan]

Unfortunately, Glirdan walked by and was surprised that this has (not surprisingly) gotten slightly off topic. So, he simply said "There's Gandalf...UNCLOAKED!!!! :eek: "

[Tuor in Gondolin]

And fortunately Gandalf, with the consent of Iluvatar, the valar, maia,
orcs, Smeagol, Deagol, the cats of Queen Beruthiel,
etc. ruled that comments should be relevant (in at
least a warped way) to Middle-earth.

[JennyHallu]

Unfortunately, most posters take a very broad view of the definition of warped.

[Meneltarmacil]

Fortunately, Frodo recovered the Ring.

[JennyHallu]

Unfortunately, Gollum saw where he put it.

[Roa_Aoife]

Forunately, Sam had Gollum tied down and was force feeding him taters.

[Farael]

Unfortunately, after Gollum's stomach got used to the 'taters' he became stronger than what he'd ever been and broke loose, sprinting for the ring.

[Gil-Galad]

Fortunately Gollum broke his ankles and couldn't run. again. ever.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Unfortunately, he was given an electric wheelchair.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

. . . There was a horrible mix-up. He received an electric chair instead.

Fried Gollum.

[Glirdan]

Unfortunately there was no plug-in in Itilien.

[Boromir88]

Unfortunately he gave it to Johnny the Stinky Balrog who was passing by...which arises all the downers questions "What would a balrog do with the One Ring?"

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Fortunately the balrog had gotten
addicted to 'taters and traded the
ring to the Gaffer for lots of 'taters.

Bringing the ring back to the Shire! :eek:

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately, a passing ringwraith found it and rode off to Mordor with it.

[Glirdan]

Fortunately, it was actually Glorfindel in disguise.

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately, Arwen had beaten him up and stolen his horse earlier. ;)

[Boromir88]

Fortunately the Ringwraith was so happy that he finally recovered the Ring for his master, he wasn't paying attention to where the horse was leading him and it just so happened the horse ran off a cliff. Where the ring, the horse, and the Ringwraith fell into a swamp.

[Gil-Galad]

unfortunately in that swamp, the rest of the ringwraiths were bathing and enjoying a nice tan

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, Sauron had got drunk at the wheel again and Mount Zoom crashed into the swamp, pouring lava onto the ring and the wraiths.

[elronds_daughter]

Unfortunately, the lava was fake and didn't melt anything.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

. . . the Ring didn't care, and it was destroyed.

FWOOSH!

[arcticstorm]

unforortunately, it was not the one ring at all

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

. . . it was the Two Ring, which was the One's back-up. Many of Sauron's files were lost forever.

[The 1,000 Reader]

Unfortunately, the swamp contained an enormous amount of highly adaptive parasitic lifeforms which quickly swarmed Sauron and the Nazgul. The only ones to escape the swamp were the Witch-King, Khamul, and another Nazgul.

[JennyHallu]

Fortunately, a side effect of the parasite was an addiction to 'taters and pipeweed.

[gralin musicteeth]

Unfortunately, they went to addictions counselling and overcame their addiction.

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Fortunately (for him) Sauron used the Three Ring to escape
the parasitic life forms.

[JennyHallu]

Unfortunately, he was far too proud to attend addictions counseling.

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Fortunately Sauron watched the Jerry Springer Show
and realized the dangers of addiction,
as well as the addiction to shouting, confrontational
talk shows when the Uruk-hai and stone trolls got into
an argument as to who was the badder.

[JennyHallu]

Unfortunately, (for him) Sauron tried to reasonably explain to them that the correct phrase was 'worse' and was squashed, quite properly, by a troll-club.

[elronds_daughter]

Fortunately (for Sauron) he was still in the form of a flaming eye, and the troll-club burned before it could do any fatal damage.

[JennyHallu]

Unfortunately, when the troll's hand got singed he yelled and threw the club at the Fellowship.

[Vuelve]

Fortunately, the Fellowship has awesome cat-like reflexes and managed to dodge the flying club.

[JennyHallu]

Unfortunately, the troll's shout deafened them, and when the flame went out it got very very dark. :eek:

[Nogrod]

Fortunately, for this way they were saved from hearing the Troll's harsh language, that could have imbalanced their righteous souls.

[JennyHallu]

Unfortunately, they couldn't hear or see anything, and Pippin kept bumping into walls.

[Tuor of Gondolin]

Fortunately Sauron showed them the way out
(assuring them, with the wink of an eye,
that the way was perfectly safe).

[Farael]

Unfortunately, given that Sauron was still a big firey eye, he shut off when he blinked.

[JennyHallu]

Fortunately, Pippen's nose was by now so swollen it was giving off its own light, like Rudolph's.

[gralin musicteeth]

Unfortunately, Ghan-buri-Ghan showed up and chopped off Pippin's nose.

[JennyHallu]

Fortunately, nobody had to hear him scream.

[Nogrod]

Unfortunately, losing your hearing doesn't deprive your sense of touch. The warm blood that burst everywhere over their faces, made the Fellowship even more mentally imbalanced, than the actual troll-swearings could have done.

[JennyHallu]

Fortunately, Pippin hadn't had a cold.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

. . . Gollum found the Ring.

[JennyHallu]

Fortunately it was slippery from all the blood, and he dropped it, letting it roll down the hallway in the dark.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

. . . Sauron found it, and used the increase in the value of gold to effect a hostile takeover of Middle-earth. Manwe resigned as CEO of Arda, Ltd. and the world was plunged in a second (third? fourth? does anyone really care anymore?) darkness.

EVIL WINS!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, Sauron had a heart attack and all the Orcs and other servants of Sauron decided that they didn't want to be involved in a reign of terror and we all lived happily!

GOOD WINS!

[JennyHallu]

Unfortunately, people were so tired of this Dark, Light, Dark, Light thing they all just closed their eyes and decided to ignore anything which bothered them.

APATHY WINS!

[Farael]

Fortunately, they were all too busy with Pip to care about the ring. Besides, it was probably the Four Ring rather than the One ring as I think it has been destroyed three times already

[Tuor of Gondolin]

Fortunately Eru declared a timeout for
everyone because it had gotten just
gross and icky, and started
Middle-earth over again at the First Age.

Sane Justice Wins!

[elronds_daughter]

Unfortunately, Sane Justice had been killed by Sauron in a boxing match.

[JennyHallu]

Fortunately, no one had ever paid too much attention to him anyway.

[elronds_daughter]

Unfortunately, poor Mr. Sane Justice (in life) had had to compete with MovieLegolas for attention. This is why he was never remembered.

[Tuor of Gondolin]

Fortunately Tom Bombadil drove MovieLegolas
to desert Middle-earth for Troy by incessant
rhyming talk (can't really blame Leggy too
much :D ) and TB then saved Sane Justice
after SJ sung a song he learned from some
hobbits.

[JennyHallu]

Unfortunately, SJ didn't have the patience to hang out with Tom Bombadil for very long, and wandered away into the wilds of Middle-Earth (chock-full of places he'd never been).

[Tuor of Gondolin]

Fortunately Tom Bombadil found Ring Four
before Sauron could and placed it on the
mantleplace of his house, where he forgot about it.

[JennyHallu]

Unfortunately, Goldberry thought it was pretty and put it on.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, it didn't fit.

[JennyHallu]

Unfortunately, when it fell off her finger it rolled out the door and down the road and ended up just outside the Barrow-Downs.

[Tuor of Gondolin]

Fortunately Gildor was passing by and took the ring,
thinking it might help Gandalf escape from Orthanc.

[JennyHallu]

Unfortunately Gandalf appeared behind him just as he picked up the Ring, and in his surprise Gildor let it keep rolling right into the Downs.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, they met some helpful Downers and all had tea and biscuits and talked of many things. Of elves and dwarves and magic rings, and even if Balrogs may have wings.

[Tuor of Gondolin]

Unfortunately while they were having this brillig
conversation a snark gave the ring to a wight.

[JennyHallu]

Fortunately the wight was far too busy being suspicious of innocent villagers to realize what the snark had put in his pocket.

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Unfortunately the wight's next door
neighbor had the "wight stuff",
and realized he had Ring Four so he
put it on.

[JennyHallu]

Fortunately, the Ring's internal workings were overloaded by the rampant punniness and melted together, making it no more than any other ring.

[elronds_daughter]

Fortunately, Ring Four is just a fake; Ring One is the only one that works. And (horror of horrors) the Jabberwock had somehow got possession of said Ring One.

[Farael]

Unfortunately, the One Ring was destroyed a while back in this thread.... as a matter of fact, the only thing that kept the world going was that they all BELIEVED that the One Ring was still around. As this lie was uncovered, they all quickly agreed to think that the Five Ring was actually the One Ring, even though by the time he made it, Sauron was already sick or ring-making and it was actually The One (or rather Five) Necklace.

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Fortunately, Sauron was able to subcontract the
making of Ring Five to the heretofore unknown
Petty Dwarf illigitimate descendents of Mim,
who were still ticked off about the treatment
of their ancestors by Men and Elves
in the First Age.

[Vuelve]

Unfortunately, that was all Sauron was able to do, because once he subcontracted the ring, decendants of the Men and Elves of the First Age took part in an angry riot at Mordor.

[JennyHallu]

Fortunately, the Petty-Dwarves had mastered the art of bureaucracy and told Sauron they would get him a delivery estimate as soon as they delivered and received back, (signed, in triplicate, in blood) a cost estimate and evil dominion and enslavement waiver.

[Nogrod]

Unfortunately, Sauron wasn't a newbie to bureaucracy. Accompanying the natural charm of his to open the doors, he had a party of smart-dressed lawyers ready at hand.

[Glirdan]

Fortunately, they were all SpM in disguise. :p

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately, all the clanging and banging gave them away.

[Farael]

Fortunately (for everyone but SpM) Sauron decided to start a new kind of music by banging on the poor BDer

[JennyHallu]

Unfortunately, Sauron quickly proved himself tone-deaf.

[Roa_Aoife]

Fortunately, loyalty among the BDers for one of their star football players encouraged a massive onslaught, in which many rose to great glory. Of they couldn't be killed, as they were already dead, and so victory was easily obtained.

[JennyHallu]

Unfortunately, Sauce had a terrible ringing in his ears from the Steel-drum session.

[Glirdan]

Fortunately, he had lost his ears in the great battle of the Wights.

[Farael]

Unfortunately SpM regenearted his ears, as he was no longer bound by laws of biology (being undead and all)

[Roa_Aoife]

Fortunately the various impacts had not affected his ears, thus the ringing was no longer an issue.

[JennyHallu]

Unfortunately he was so confused on the issue of whether or not he had ears that he shone up a helm mirror-bright and no one could get anything useful out of him but "I have too got ears!"

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, during all this confusion, a small hedgehog ran off with the Ring.

[Farael]

Unfortunately, it was Sonic the hedgehog who decided it'd be "fun" to run it all the way to the unexplored corners of Mordor

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, a Balrog sneezed on him.

[JennyHallu]

Unfortunately, Balrog snot burns off hedgehog prickles, leaving him bald as a naked mole rat.

[Glirdan]

Unfortunately, he actually sneezed on Frodo who gained super human abilities from Galadriel. Secretly of course.

[Tuor of Gondolin]

Fortunately for Frodo, he passed a daughter of
the fox who was still trying to work out what happened
to those hobbits that had passed her father by in the
shire, and Frodo thought it would be cool to give
superpowers to a fox, so he did so, and then finally
was able to go rowing to catch up to Gandalf sailing west.

[JennyHallu]

Unfortunately it was an EVIL FOXY LADY VIXEN CREATURE!!!! And now it had Super-Powers!!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, the most ugly creature in the universe picked up the Ring and so the fox creature was so horrified that it melted.

[JennyHallu]

Unfortunately, I used the Ring to make myself beautiful and everyone else look like a partially melted evil foxy lady vixen creature.

;) :rolleyes: :eek:

[Tuor of Gondolin]

Fortunately, Luthien and Arwen, on a
girls only holiday away from the
Halls of Waiting (their mates were getting
really antsy after a few thousand years of
non-orc slaying) convinced the
evil foxy lady vixen creature to come over
from the Dark Side (they'd been watching
the good first three made Star Wars movies
at a metroplex in Valinor.
(The valar were having some licensing
problem with dvds).

[JennyHallu]

Unfortunately, though the evil foxy lady vixen creature wanted to come, she was melted three or four posts ago and stuck to the floor. She let Pippin go instead.

[Tuor of Gondolin]

But fortunately, the melted fox was only an
experimental clone, so now
the evil foxy lady vixen creature
had to go with Pippin, who of
course couldn't go without Merry,
and they of course couldn't go without their
wives, all of whom needed horses,
which got so complicated that Luthien
and Arwen told them to forget the
whole thing and convinced Manwe
to take away any foxes superpowers and give them to,
IN an amazing plot twist........
THE SON OF GOLLUM!
(would he be good or evil?) :cool:

[JennyHallu]

Unfortunately, he was evil. And ugly. And angsty. But he did like Star Wars.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, in case you forgot, the most ugly creature in the universe still had the Ring.

[JennyHallu]

Unfortunately I'm beautiful now, and have claimed the world, and me and Son of Gollum decided to hold a All Hail the Master--(oops, pardon me) MISTRESS of the Universe Party.

Wait. The beautiful bit is fortunate. It's just the Mistress of the Universe bit that has people worried.

[Tuor of Gondolin]

Fortunately (for those desiring Middle-earth domination)
only characters derived from the legendarium can
aspire to Middle-earth dominion (although other
areas such as Hogwarts or Narnia are open to control)
so Son of Gollum, also known as Smeagol Jr./Gollum the Lesser,
convinced the ugliest creature in the universe to give him
Ring Five (or is it Six :confused: ) which had just
a dash of the power of the original ring, but enough
for him to open a giant fish factory in Osgiliath
(financial backing provided by Elessar and
their silent partner Shelob, hey, a giant spider's got
to eat).

[Hookbill the Goomba]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v604/hukbillgoomba/Zoom.jpg It's back!

Unfortunately, the self-proclaimed master (sorry, mistress) of the universe was squished by a mysterious volcano with wheels. She were buried in the lava that was left by the Zooming Mountain.

[JennyHallu]

Unfortunately, convinced suddenly of my own non-existence, I (what's left of me)disappear in a puff of orange smoke to pursue my dreams of world-domination elsewhere.

Canada...anyone have dibs on Canada?

[THE Ka]

Fortunately, Eru who had been taking a coffee break on the veranda was suddenly struck with a memory that Arda had been brought about somehow, by himself, and soon returned to place Middle Earth, in what it always has been, Arda. The one ring was included into this reboot by means of a sneaky virus, which just happened to be an unfashionable creature called Gollum. Who soon took upon a rat-race with a orc, a few oliphants, and Frodo ( with or without Sam).

~ Aesthete

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Unfortunately, at the same time Elrond the Swindler was stealing candy frome hobbit children.

[Eonwe]

Fortuantely, every hobbit child that he met was having its birthday celebration. He only thought he was stealing. But that works out just right. It satasfies Elrond's need to dominate those weaker than himself, without really hurting anyone.

[JennyHallu]

Unfortunately, all the candy gave Elrond a stomachache, and a large cavity.

[Glirdan]

Fortunately, The Mouth of Sauron's dentist was in Rivendell for a visit and he fixed that cavity up right away.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Unfortunately, the dentist went a bit mad and tried to cut Elrond's lips off.

[The 1,000 Reader]

Fortunately, religious aliens came by and turned Middle-Earth into a big ball of glass, killing the dentist before he could attack Elrond.

[Enedhilion]

Unfortunately, the attacking aliens decided to attack Elrond, anyway.

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Fortunately, Elrond was not known as the Swindler for no reason. In a cunning way he got the aliens to surrender all their weapons to him, change middle-earth to what it used to be, give him 10.000 barrels of coal and go home.

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Unfortunately for the aliens, Eru got ticked off
that they had tried to mess with Middle-earth
and sent them to the most horrible
place imaginable, the movie remake of The Pink Panther. :eek:

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, the dentist forgot all about Elrond and went back to Mordor and Elrond went for a walk in the countryside.

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Unfortunately Elrond's dental hygenist (the only one
resident in Rivendell) had recently
married Strider, thus revealing the true reason
movie Elrond was opposed to Arwen's going to Gondor to live.
(Boy, is that guy one selfish elf! Like they don't have
toothaches in Gondor!)

[elronds_daughter]

Fortunately, Elrond was so desperate that he hired the only other known dental expert in the area: Saruman. He ain't called "the White" for nothin'!

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Unfortunately, Saruman's dental hygenist is Wormtongue. :p

[Meneltarmacil]

Fortunately, Wormtongue actually did have a great deal of knowledge about dentistry, much more so than it would appear

[Glirdan]

Unfortunately, Arwen mistook Wormtongue for Glorfindel and she knocked him off his horse, hid him in a bush and stole his horse. She was in a rush to get to Gondor because of all the poor dental hygiene.

[Meneltarmacil]

Fortunately, a passing Oliphaunt gave Wormtongue a ride.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Unfortunately, it insisted that Wormtongue give him a ride after 10 minuets! :eek:

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Fortunately, it was a very small Oliphaunt and it's name was Iggy.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Unfortunately, this meant it couldn't carry Wormtoung very fast or very far.

[Glirdan]

Fortunately, it went through osmosis and turned into a Nazgul.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

. . . osmosis-formed Nazgûl has a lifespan of two seconds. After that, it explodes.

[THE Ka]

Fortunately, the Nazgul caught a ride on an ATP stallion and headed for the Golgi Apparatus highway of Rivendale...


~ Aesthete

[Farael]

Unfortunately, Gondor was calling for help because of the dental hygiene disaster and the ATP got spent while activating an Enzyme that would catalize the production of a chemical messegner, turning the ATP into ADP

Which it all means the ATP was no more and the REALLY soon to explode Nazghul had no longer a ride.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

. . . the Nazgûl didn't need metabolites (nor metabolism) to survive: they're dead, after all.

This is unfortunate, because they grabbed the Ring from Frodo.

[gralin musicteeth]

Unfortunately, gralin couldn't tell if Nilpaurion's post was fortunate or unfortunate, so Figwit showed up to declare that the next thing that happens will be fortunate

(sidetrack: does anyone else remember Figwit??)

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, posters advertising Tom Bombadill’s latest music concert at the Barrow Down’s stadium distracted everyone.

[Glirdan]

Unfortunately, all Tom sang about was himself.

[THE Ka]

Fortunately, the venue director threw in a few high light bands, such as: Legolas' Shampoo Bottle, The Starlight Arwens, and the ever popular Frodo's 9th finger, to keep the chrowd occupied long enough so that they were too drunk to care...



~ Aesthete

[JennyHallu]

Unfortunately, among the guests were a large number of teetotallers.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, they liked Tom's singing. Well, Tom is the Master.

[Tuor of Gondolin]

Unfortunately, it was a public television fundraiser
and TB left in a huff when far more donations
were pledged for the cd (only available during
the fundraiser) "Luthien Tinuviel rocks Beleriand." :cool:

[Thinlómien]

Fortunately, TB was able to nick "Luthien Tinuviel rocks Beleriand" and didn't have to pay anything for it.

[Tuor of Gondolin]

Unfortunately, Iluvatar had Manwe set up a
"sting" operation which successfully caught TB.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, no one can catch Tom.

[Tuor of Gondolin]

Unfortunately, Goldberry was caught as
an unindicted coconspirator and turned
(state's?) evidence against Tom
(hey, just how long can anyone,
even a riverwoman's daughter, take
incessant rhyming when you're
trying to work out a relationship)? :rolleyes:

[JennyHallu]

Fortunately, she only gave evidence pertaining to criminal punniness, which is only a misdemeanor.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

. . . Tom was so punny Eru destroyed everything just to get rid of him.

[Tuor of Gondolin]

Fortunately Tom was so puny Eru didn't have
to destroy everything to get rid of him.

Oh yeah, and delenta est Chief Warg!

[JennyHallu]

Unfortunately, the Barrow-Downs definitely got squished.

[Meneltarmacil]

Fortunately, all the BDers had gone to Moria to see if Balrogs really had wings or not.

[JennyHallu]

Unfortunately, when they realized Balrogs had wings, but couldn't fly (they're cousins of dragons. Dragons got more wing and less fire, and Balrogs got more fire but less wings) half of them were so upset they tried to go home to sulk in their barrows, only it wasn't there.

[gralin musicteeth]

Fortunately, they all decided that balrogs actually do have wings and the BDers who left came back.

[Glirdan]

Unfortunately, there was forever animostiy between the two groups until the end of the World.

[Farael]

Fortunately, the world had been going on for far too long and Eru decided to re-format it to get rid of all the adwares, viruses and random files that seem to pile up in folders no-one ever looks at. (meaning that the world ended and then started again from scratch)

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

. . . the Ainur started their horrible singing again.

[Gil-Galad]

Fortuantely everyone was deaf by the first time and nobody cared

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Unfortunately, Varda decided to heal all the deffness.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

. . . Varda can't heal worth Melkor's hymns.

[Tuor of Gondolin]

Fortunately Varda commissioned Bobby Darin,
who somehow was spotted hanging out in The
Halls of Waiting, to sing "Beyond the Sea"
as the Ainur sub-theme song pertaining to elves.

[Eowyn Skywalker]

Unfortunately, even though this cured all the rest of the people, this rendered Varda deaf for unknown reasons.

[Glirdan]

Fortunately, seeing as she was a Valar, she didn't really have ears.

[Farael]

Unfortunately, this does not mean that she regained her hearing. She was deaf AND earless.

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Fortunately, Varda threw a temper tandrum
and complained to Iluvatar that if elves can
reincarnate then why not Vala, so to keep
peace Iluvatar let her reincarnate so she
could come to her senses.

:p

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

. . . Eru choked when he saw Olórin uncloak ( :eek: ), and he died.

[Glirdan]

Fortunately, Nilp came along (again) and took over and set everything straight.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Unfortunately, it went a bit wrong when Nilp had his feet broken by a random Orc who held a large hammer.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

. . . Nilp's legs were made of some strange gooey substance. He placed his leg back, and beat the Void out of the random Orc.

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Unfortunately, 5112 other random orcs saw this and killed Nilp on a very random and orcish manner.

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately, Meneltarmacil chose that moment to dump exploding rocks on Nilpaurion Felagund.

EDIT: Fortunately, the rocks also crushed the Orcs.

[Gil-Galad]

Fortuantely Nilp wasn't that important in this thread anyways, so Menel was domed to wander the Forest of Unpopularity

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately (Wait, this really should be Fortunately!), Menel imprisoned Gil-Galad in the Cave of Doom before the latter could send him to the Forest of Unpoularity.

[Gil-Galad]

Fortuantely Gil-Galad escaped and made Menel wear the Stone of Shame and Shy Leprechauns

[Glirdan]

Unfortunately, Glirdan walked by just as Gil was about to give Menel the Stone of Shame and Shy Leprechauns and he took it and cast out to sea. The bizzare thing was just as he tossed it out, Nilp arose from the dead.

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Fortuantely, at that very moment Tha Hammer of the Underworld and Belladonna Took fell from the sky and destroyed Glirdan, Gil, Menel and Nilp

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Unfortunately Belladonna Took, still ticked
off at having been ejected from The Hobbit
Survivor, formed a feminist alliance with
Shelob, Queen Beruthiel, Rosie Cotton, and
Melian to take over Middle-earth.

[Gil-Galad]

Fortunately they all got together and killed Glirdan for trying to enter into thestory, and then they retired to a nice farm in Dunland

[Glirdan]

Unfortunately, seeing as Glirdan was the narrator of the story, they couldn't really kill him.

[Gil-Galad]

Fortunately, this story did not need a narrator so Glirdan was killed anyways and they got annoyed with him trying to prolong his death so they stole his cat and hid it from him

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

. . . Sauron reclaimed the Ring and destroyed the Barrow-downs.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, none of the Downers were destroyed as they were all off chasing Tom Bombadill and his pet Balrog.

[Gil-Galad]

Unfortunately his Pet Balrog was Johnny the Stinky Balrog

[Tuor of Gondolin]

Fortunately, Luthien decided it was time to mess with
another of the Valar and sang a song to Manwe which
convinced hime to send Johnny the Stinky Balrog into
the void where he could aggravate Morgoth,
thus proving that women can make a
difference.

[Valier]

Unfortunately Johnny the stinky Balrog and Melkor got along famously. They hung out with each other all the time. But with such close contact to Johnny, Morgoth too began to stink. The stench of the two bosom buddies dancing and partying began to eminate from the void, spilling it's way in to Middle Earth. Proving again that Women always underestimate the "drunken" love two buddies can have for each other.

[Eonwe]

Fortunately, Tulkas returned from...barbequeing...with Zeus...and smote them each a ringing blow for their combined stinkiness and not-attracing-the-lady...ing...

[Glirdan]

Unfortunately, because Tulkas was a big brute and his brawns are bigger than his brains (that's right, I'm insulting a Valar :p ), he didn't understand anything that Eonwe said.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

. . . Tulkas beat the Void out of Glirdan for insulting him. :p

[Boromir88]

Unfortunately the organization known as GRA (Glirdanite Rights Activists: Some members include- Melkor, Johnny the Stinky Balrog, Gandalf, and Fingolfin) witnessed Tulkas beating the Void out of Glirdan, and so they beat the void out of Tulkas.

[Eonwe]

Except they couldn't. His sheer coolness denigned any possiblility of even coming close to that.

[JennyHallu]

Unfortunately his coolness (and the ghost following Glirdan around) was causing icicles to form on his beard.

[Glirdan]

Fortunately, Tulkas decided that beating Glirdan wasn't as fun as beating Nilp. So he changed to beating the Void out of Glirdan to beating the Void out of Nilp.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

. . . Nilp was really an anime character from another world, so the punches just passed through him. :smokin:

[Meneltarmacil]

Fortunately, the anvil that Meneltarmacil dropped on Nilp did affect him.

[Eonwe]

unfortunatley, it only made him stronger....and madder....

[Meneltarmacil]

Fortunately, he exploded soon afterward due to a strange time-space continuum thingy.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

. . . the same strange space-time continuum thingy made Morgoth master of the Universe.

[Glirdan]

Fortunately, this was in an alternate universe where Star Trek and Star Wars combined with Lord of the Rings.

[Tuor of Gondolin]

Unfortunately, this whole thread was a nice idea, but
it's gotten quite silly. So I have to ask you to post some sensible, polite,
yet amusing comments. Let's have no more of this
silliness or it may be necessary to put you all in
the COMFY CHAIR where you will stay until it's
tea time! (diabolical laughing ensues).

Sorry for the interruption. Now please continue,
but no more silliness!

[JennyHallu]

Fortunately, Morgoth didn't even know the meaning of the word silly.

[Tuor of Gondolin]

Unfortunately, the Spanish Inquisition did,
and they were quick to explain the concept
of silliness to him (this, to a guy who dances
with Johnny the stinky Balrog?).

[JennyHallu]

Wow...that was unexpected. But then...no one expects the Spanish Inquisition.

Fortunately, (for Tuor) Morgoth turned the silliness police into faithful lieutenants and set them loose in the Barrow-downs to ensure all the ghosts were properly cold and clammy, both physically, and metaphysically.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Unfortunately, The silliness police were all run over by Orthank. Saruman, it seems, had a little too much to drink. Also Minas Tirith was chasing it with a blue light on top.

[JennyHallu]

Fortunately, Mount Doom had had an unfortunate run-in with Caradhras, so Minas Tirith was left to catch Orthanc unhindered while they got their caves back in order.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Unfortunately, Orthank was still running riot! :eek:

[JennyHallu]

Fortunately, Tom Bombadil's house and the Old Forest were sure to slow it down a little.

[Tuor of Gondolin]

Unfortunately, Saruman had his lads in training for
the winter Olympics and Orthanc zoomed over TB's
place after going down the ski slope (or whatever
they call it).
Btw, Uruk-hai are really sore losers.

P.S. The editor of The Times says the silliness
quotient is most improved.

[JennyHallu]

Fortunately, large wheeled tower-cars do NOT land gracefully, but they do have lots of momentum.

[Tuor of Gondolin]

Unfortunately for Old Man Willow large wheeled tower-cars do have lots of momentum, as he was heard to mutter as it roared over him:
"There's never an ent gone bad around when you really need them."

[Eonwe]

Fortunatley, for the entire BarrowDowns, this thread arose from its sickly slumber to do battle with its newfound nemisis, The Never Ending Poem. As yet, the outcome remains in the ballance... ;) :D

[Glirdan]

Unfortunately, The Never Ending Poems had the greater power and smote the Fortunately/Unfortunately thread to the ground.

[Meneltarmacil]

Fortunately, Frodo and Sam had managed to fight off all the Orcs.

[JennyHallu]

Unfortunately, they had somehow acquired a minstrel. (Think Holy Grail...tee-hee)

[Meneltarmacil]

Fortunately, in the frozen land of Nador, they were forced to eat him. And there was much rejoicing. ;)

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Unfortunately, Tom Bombadil filled in for the
minstrel, leading the hobbits in a chorus of
"Always look on the bright side of life.",
sinc he was a devoted fan of Eric Idle.

[Glirdan]

Fortunately, Johnny the Stinky Balrog swooped down (that's right, he's got wings) and swept Tom away.

[JennyHallu]

Fortunately, hobbits share odd British-humor, and found the song delightful. They even did a little dance.

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately, Johnny the Stinky Balrog found out that he had wings but couldn't use them to fly since they were made of nothing but shadow, so he fell to the ground, crushing both himself and Tom.

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Fortunately, Tom Bombadil was allright, since:
None has ever caught him yet, for Tom, he is the master:
His songs are stronger songs, and his feet are faster.

And Goldberry and Tom had a delicious dinner of stinky balog.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Unfortunately, while Tom finished off his balog, the Balrog was still at large.

[Glirdan]

Fortunately, Tom got indegestion from eating Johnny the Stinky Balrog.

[The 1,000 Reader]

Fortunately, with a large chunk of it missing, the balrog bled to death.

[Gil-Galad]

Unfortunately, as history proves, Johnny can never die because he is so loveable, but not as loveable as his chum Gil-Galad

[Valesse]

Fortunately Johnny the Stinky Balrog's chum Gil-Galad was nearby and gave Tom and Goldberry toothbrushes and a stern talking to for eatting such loveable and frightening creatures.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

. . . Sauron came and laid the smackdown on Gil-Galad, End of the Second Age-style. :cool: