Fortunately/Unfortunately

[Glirdan]

Unfortunately, in their attempt in running the Rohirrim out of Rohan, the legions of Mordor gained control of Minas Tirith and were advancing upon Lothlorien.

[Finrod Felagund]

Fortunately, Galadriel and the other Elves were having a feast in Lothlorien so they were prepared for an attack.

[Lindale]

Unfortunately everyone was drunk.

[Glirdan]

Fortunately, this included the legions of Mordor.

[Diamond18]

Unfortunately, the Legions of Mordor are all High Functioning Alcoholics, while the Elves are not used to being drunk at all, and thus not nearly as good at it.

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Fortunately the orcs got into a drinking game, taking
a drink every time someone said "elves" and drank
themselves into a stupor.

[elronds_daughter]

Unfortunately, stupor-drunk orcs are really friendly.

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Fortunately, stupor-drunk orcs only chase
valley girl (Morgul Vale) orc lasses.

[Galadriel55]

Unfortunately, tey chased them right into Galadhen.

[Meneltarmacil]

Fortunately, this thread was revived and picked up with them crashing into Galadriel who was bathing at the time.

[Galadriel55]

Unfortunately, Celeborn happened to be away in Mirkwood at the moment.

[Boromir88]

Fortunately, all things must come to an end. By reviving a thread that was well passed it's time and expiration date, it caused a rip (or inconsistancy if you will) in the fabric of time, or in the Music. The only way to set everything right again (or else the world would have plunged into total chaos), was for Eru Iluvatar to hit the reset button and start at the very beginning. Thus...Gimli finally found something to eat.

(Wow...I think that is the most convoluted fortunately conclusion I've stumbled into :rolleyes: )

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately, it was poisoned.

[Galadriel55]

Fortunately, the local wizard had a spare bezoar and, despite the fiction world barriers, did not mind lending it to the dwarf.

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately, bezoars have an unfortunate side effect on dwarves, and Gimli was turned into an Oliphaunt.

[MCRmyGirl4eva]

Fortunately, the hare escaped being eaten, and scampered safely away down the west bank of the Anduin

[Galadriel55]

Unfortunately, hares scare the tusks off oliphaunts, so Gimli, who was standing right by the hare when it ran, fled in a mad fear in the direction of Minas Tirith, leaving destruction in his path.

[Glirdan]

Fortunately, Minas Tirith had been magically transported, and Gimil scampered way down south and caused destruction there.

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately, he angered the Haradrim who started attacking the Lonely Mountain in revenge.

[Glorthelion]

Fortunately the Lonely Mountain was prepared for such an attack.

[Galadriel55]

Unfortunately, it was so lonely that all its inhabitants started crying out of pity for it.

[Meneltarmacil]

Fortunately, THE DRAGON CAME and made things less lonely.

[Boromir88]

Unfortunately the dragon was just flying by over head and everyone was lonely again.

[MCRmyGirl4eva]

Fortunately, Gandalf came along with the promise of adventure, company, gold, and possible death.

[Glirdan]

Unfortunately, Gandalf wasn't really Gandalf, but an escaped mental patient who kept blabbering on about somebody giving back his cookies.

[Meneltarmacil]

Fortunately, Gollum returned his cookies in exchange for the precioussss.

[MCRmyGirl4eva]

Unfortunately, the real Gandalf came, ate the cookies, and used the precious as a key ring.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Fortunately, Gandalf has a cloak on.

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately, a badger stole it.

[MCRmyGirl4eva]

Fortunately, to save Gandalf from nudity, Gollum let him borrow his loincloth. :p

[Galadriel55]

Unfortunately, while handing over the cloth, Gollum got a glimpse of the horrifying image of an uncloaked Gandalf, which made him cough up old fish bones.

[MCRmyGirl4eva]

Fortunately, Sam was grateful for the bones, and made a nice fish stew for everyone.:)

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately, the ghosts of the dead fish started haunting the Fellowship.

[Galadriel55]

Fortunately, the Fellowship split up, and the ghosts of the fish could not decide which way to go, so they remained near Parth Galen.

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately, Frodo and Sam fell off a 1000-foot cliff.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Fortunately, the 1000-foot were those of a millipede. So it was just a short fall.

[MCRmyGirl4eva]

unfortunately, they landed on a pile of rocks and thorns :(

[Galadriel55]

Fortunately, they had mail and elven cloaks on.

[the phantom]

Unfortunately, the cloaks were on fire.

[Meneltarmacil]

Fortunately, it was raining.

[the phantom]

Unfortunately, it was highly acidic rain.

[MCRmyGirl4eva]

Fortunately when they piled up the rocks it made a good shelter

[TheGreatElvenWarrior]

Unfortunately, the shelter had large gaping holes in it and Legolas was sacrificed to the rain-gods for protection.

[MCRmyGirl4eva]

Fortunarely, he didn't die when they sacrificed him; he was only injured, and Aragorn was able to heal him.

[the phantom]

Unfortunately the failed sacrifice angered those blood-thirsty rain gods.

[Galadriel55]

Fortunately, it pleased the sun gods well enough.

[the phantom]

Unfortunately, the sun gods were on fire.

[Galadriel55]

Fortunately, as the sun gods consist of pure fire, they didn't mind it very much.

[MCRmyGirl4eva]

Unfortunately, the rain gods were SO angry about the failed sacrifice that they came down to claim Legolas's soul after caging the sun gods :(

[Galadriel55]

Fortunately, neither type of gods is canonical, so they couldn't really do anything, and Legolas' soul remained with him.

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately, an Ent stepped on him.

[MCRmyGirl4eva]

Fortunately, the ground was soggy from the rain, and he sank into a mud puddle, thus avoiding being squished

[crescendo.]

Unfortunately, Legolas did not have the ability to breathe in mud

[Galadriel55]

Fortunately, Legolas had in his posession an aqualung tube.

[crescendo.]

Unfortunatly there was a knot in the tubing

[Meneltarmacil]

Fortunately, Gimli dug him out of the mud.

[crescendo.]

Unfortunately, Legolas' braids were now full of mud that would probably never come out

[MCRmyGirl4eva]

Fortunately, he had magic elf shampoo that washed the mud right out and left his hair smooth and silky.

[MCRmyGirl4eva]

Come on guys, this was fun! Let's keep it rolling!

[Galadriel55]

Unfortunately, that shampoo could not clean the mud out of his ruined clothing.

[Meneltarmacil]

Fortunately, a nice man dressed all in black could easily take care of the cleaning in exchange for the Ring.

[Galadriel55]

Unfortunately, Legolas did not have the Ring - Frodo did.

[MCRmyGirl4eva]

Fortunately, Frodo let him borrow it.

[Galadriel55]

Unfortunately, Pippin was spying on them, and when he saw the Ring being passed over he immediately desired it.

[MCRmyGirl4eva]

Fortunately, as he reached out to grab it, he fell over and smacked his head, resulting in him forgetting seeing the Ring, though he did not pass out.

[Galadriel55]

Unfortunately, Pippin also forgot what he was supposed to be doing, which is bringing Merry a pint of ale.

[TheGreatElvenWarrior]

Fortunately, Merry remembered to fetch it himself.

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately, the guy Legolas had handed the Ring to was a Nazgul (surprise, surprise)

[MCRmyGirl4eva]

Fortunaely, Frodo was able to snatch the ring and run away before the Nazgul could catch him.

[Nolwë_Namiel]

Unfortunately, he tripped over a tree root.

[Galadriel55]

Fortunately, that "tree root" was actually Treebeard's leg, so Frodo got to meet Treebeard.

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately, Treebeard had developed a taste for Hobbit flesh.

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Fortunately for Frodo, Treebeard had lost his blender
and so could not make a Hobbit Smoothie. :(

[MCRmyGirl4eva]

Unfortinately, Legolas was too self-concious of his nudity to step out from behinf the bush to save Frodo.

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Fortunately, Frodo was quite comfortable with his own body
and had no trouble escaping Treebeard by swimming across
the Brandywine.

[MCRmyGirl4eva]

Unfortunately, Pippin tried to swim after Frodo, and started to drown in the river.

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Fortunately Osse was swimming past and helpfully
tossed Pippin onto the west side of the Brandywine.

[MCRmyGirl4eva]

Unfortunately, everybody was paying attention to Pippin, so Legolas threw a temper tantrum.

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Fortunately, Galadriel was passing by and slapped
Legolas silly for being a (hundreds of years old) baby
and gave him a timeout.

[Pervinca Took]

Unfortunately, Nenya caught Legolas near the jugular, causing an immediate need for rapid medical attention.

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Fortunately, Ioreth was passing by and recommended a
long list of herbs she had heard had some medicinal
properties that were supposed to be beneficial for near
jugular wounds (though she explained that she was
dubious about their efficacy since they were but bits of
doggerel passed on to...are you listening to me, Leggy?
It's sooo rude of you to keep on bleeding when I'm
explaining things. Oh here, baby needs a bandage.

[Pervinca Took]

Unfortunately Ioreth's speech sent Legolas into a soporific stupor and his spirit was halfway to Mandos before ....

[MCRmyGirl4eva]

Fortunately, Aragorn bowled over everybody and patched Legolas up before he could bleed out, and held him in his lap singing an Elvish song until he was strong enough to rise.

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately, Legolas rose as a zombie and started eating Aragorn.

[MCRmyGirl4eva]

Fortunately, Elbereth took pity on them and healed Legolas, as well as drawing the Zombie poison from Aragorn so he didn't turn.

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Unfortunately, Legolas made Aragorn cry when he
confessed his torrid , albeit bittersweet, love affair
with Aragorn's mum Gilraen.

(Which also explains why Legolas liked to hang out
in Rivendell so much).

[MCRmyGirl4eva]

Fortunately, Pippin managed to take Aragorn's mind off of it when he stripped off his wet clothes and ran around to dry in his birthday suit.

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately, this prompted Gandalf the Grey to uncloak.

[MCRmyGirl4eva]

Fortunately, he had robes on underneath, and wrapped his cloak around Pippin.

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Unfortunately Rosie Cotton, bored waiting for Sam
to come back, had seen Peregrin Took uncloaked
and ran after him..

[MCRmyGirl4eva]

Fortunately, she realized Pippin had a "small one", even for a hobbit, and went back to pining over Sam.

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Unfortunately, Merry passed by and seeing her
still restless, offered to take Rosie somewhere she'd
never been before...THE KITCHEN!
(Merry was known as the hobbit Henny Youngman).

[MCRmyGirl4eva]

Fortunately, at that moment, Legolas's affections transferred to Aragorn, and he gave him a hard passionate kiss, ignoring the amazed looks of the others.

[Nolwë_Namiel]

Unfortunately Aragorn was NOT amused by the display and tried to kill Legolas with Narsil.

[MCRmyGirl4eva]

Fortunately, Legolas was not harmed by Narsil, as it was quite broken, and laughed as he pulled out his knife, declaring "The rules of dueling are quite simple. Pointy end goes in the other guy. Oh, wait, you don't have a pointy end, do you?"

[Unforgiven]

Unfortunately for Legolas, Aragorn had used superglue to mend his broken blade. .. and the end was pointy too.

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Fortunately for Aragorn, Legolas ran away crying like an orc
at being rejected by Isildur's Heir.

[MCRmyGirl4eva]

Unfortunately for Aragorn, Legolas ran straight through the pile of belongings, where they were planning to make camp for the night, thus scattering everything that everybody had brought.

[Unforgiven]

Fortunately, the uncloaked Gandalf in the bushes cast a backwards spell and everything began to run backwards.

[MCRmyGirl4eva]

Fortunately, Gandalf still had his robes in and comforted the poor, heartbroken elf.

[Unforgiven]

Unfortunately, with time going backwards, Legolas moved in on Aragorn again.

[MCRmyGirl4eva]

Fortunately, as the time spell sluttered out, Legolas approached Aragorn again. This time, Aragorn declared his undying love for Legolas.

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Unfortunately for Legolas, Aragorn was only kidding
and had Rangers take Legolas back to daddy
(who quickly deprogrammed his heir).

[Unforgiven]

Fortunately, the Nazgul came riding in and everyone except Gandalf fled.

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Unfortunately Radagast revealed himself uncloaked
(being into naturalism through his committment to
nature study) which prompted Gandalf and the nazgul to flee
to the safety of the Far east of Middle-earth.

[Meneltarmacil]

Fortunately, this quickly became unnecessary when a dragon ate Radagast.

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Unfortunately, this inspired Gandalf and the nazgul to go
50-50 on turning Orthanc into a luxury condominium.

[MCRmyGirl4eva]

Fortunately, Merry and Pippin showed up in tme to talk Gandalf out of it.

[Unforgiven]

Unfortunately an undiscovered palantir broadcasted all of this to Sauron and he went into a fit of rage and destroyed Mount Doom.

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Fortunately, Sauron had bought up property in
Tharbad and made a fortune charging tolls for
Elassar's messengers going from Eriador to Gondor.

[MCRmyGirl4eva]

Unfortunately, the messangers soon discovered a different route, and never has to pay his tolls again

[Unforgiven]

Fortunately Sauron had invested in Lembas shares and the returns from the Mirkwood Stock exchange paid for the rebuidling of the death star... i mean, mount doom. He invited everyone to the grand re-opening, including Galadriel.

[MCRmyGirl4eva]

Unfortunately, nobody that he had invited showed up.

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Fortunately, a very hungry Shelob (who it turned out had
amassed a fortune from her leveraged purchases of land in
Ithilien and the Lake Nurnen farms) agreed to partner
with Sauron and Elassar in New Barad-Dur Towers.

[MCRmyGirl4eva]

Unfortunately, hurricane Sandy got sucked through a magic portal into Middle-Earth, and blew Elessar far, far, away, depositing him at the doorstep of Bag End.

[Lollipop010900]

Unfortunately, hurricane Sandy got sucked through a magic portal into Middle-Earth, and blew Elessar far, far, away, depositing him at the doorstep of Bag End.

Fortunately, Elessar had such extreme fitness that he simply ran all the way back

[MCRmyGirl4eva]

Unfortunately, he fainted from exhaustion when he returned.

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Fortunately Arwen was there to, ah, revive him.

[Gil-Galad]

How did my favourite thread die?

Unfortunately, Arwen revived Elessar as a leprechaun.

[Eönwë]

Fortunately, this was hilarious for all involved.

[MCRmyGirl4eva]

Unfortunately, after the novelty wore off, nobody had any idea how to turn Aragorn back.

[Gil-Galad]

Fortunately, Ungoliant did mention tales of a Leprechaun-elixir in Mount Gundabad

[MCRmyGirl4eva]

Unfortunately, she could not remember how to contact the man who made it.

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Fortunately, no MAN made it...a woman did (major
plot twist :) ) Okay, she was aided by a wee hobbit.

[MCRmyGirl4eva]

Unfortunately, said woman was dead, as was the hobbit who had assisted her, and they had taken their secrets with them to the grave.

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Fortunately the grave was a Barrow-wight's, which was visited
every St. Patrick's Day by Tom Bombadil who occasionally needed Lephrechaun's
elixir for a problem with interacting with Goldberry... ;)

[MCRmyGirl4eva]

Unfortunately, there was no elixir left when the grave was found.

[Lollipop010900]

Unfortunately, there was no elixir left when the grave was found.

Fortunatley, that was only because Tom Bombadil stole it all and had a huge store of it up a tree.

[Pervinca Took]

Unfortunately, said tree was an extremely curmudgeonly willow-tree and Bombadil had laryngitis, so couldn't sing his roots off.

[MCRmyGirl4eva]

Fortunately, Legolas had enough influence over nature that he was able to soothe the tree into stillness.

[Pervinca Took]

Unfortunately, the elixir was slightly past its expiry date and so had some unpredictable side-effects. For instance, whilst Aragorn stopped being a leprechaun, everything he uttered from now on was in sung Bombadil couplets.

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Fortunately, this gave Arwen an excuse to ditch the hu-man and
start a torrid affair with Tom (she had a thing for older males, and
a child like Aragorn...).

[Pervinca Took]

Unfortunately, Goldberry came out at that moment, armed with a rolling pin.

[MCRmyGirl4eva]

Fortunately, Bombadil wasn't actually in a relationship with Arwen, it was purely one-sided.

[Pervinca Took]

Unfortunately, Arwen then boiled Goldberry's pet rabbit.

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Fortunately, boiled rabbit was a delicacy at the Prancing Pony
so Goldberry made a tidy profit.

[Pervinca Took]

Unfortunately, the rabbit hadn't been filleted, and several of the guests nearly choked.

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Fortunately, Bree's excellent NHS covered the ill guests.
(Unlike Bree's colonial spinoff, The Shire, all residents and
guests received universal health care coverage. The Shire's
more conservative ethos felt it was each hobbit's responsibility.
This worked out well for upper class hobbits like Merry and
Pippin, Sam and The Gaffer...not so much). :(

No doubt there's some kind of moral there. :)

[MCRmyGirl4eva]

Unfortunately, Golberry refused to reimburse the guests who demanded their money back after the disasterous dinner.

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Fortunately everyone went to The Prancing Pony for a catered dinner by Farmer Maggot and his wife of mushrooms, bacon, and beer, followed by some of Goldberry's famous tiramisu.

[MCRmyGirl4eva]

Unfortunately, Farmer Maggot's three daughters started fighting, and knocked over the table in the process.

[Lollipop010900]

Unfortunately, Farmer Maggot's three daughters started fighting, and knocked over the table in the process.

Fortunately, everybody had finished their dinner, so the table wasn't really needed.

[MCRmyGirl4eva]

Unfortunately, the floor was now full of sharp, broken pieces of pottery and remnants of food.

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Fortunately, said messy floor proved ideal for the new orcish embassy in Eriador.
(Elessar proved to be REALLY inclusive in his diplomacy).

[Elyna of Rivendell]

Fortunately, said messy floor proved ideal for the new orcish embassy in Eriador.
(Elessar proved to be REALLY inclusive in his diplomacy).

Unfortunately, the orcs decided they were sick of diplomacy and invaded Eriador instead

[MCRmyGirl4eva]

Fortunately, the Rangers came to the rescue, battling with sword and spear to defend the land.

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Unfortunately, the Rangers left to take in the new Lone Ranger
movie, under the misapprehension the "Lone Ranger" was Aragorn.

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Fortunately a giant eagle showed up and gave them a ride to the shores of lake Evendim.

[Eönwë]

Unfortunately, they were dropped off in the lake itself.

[Galadriel55]

Fortunately, they were all able to swim to shore.

[Pervinca Took]

Unfortunately, the waters of Evendim had been infected with the Mirkwood-Amnesia-Sickness, and they all forgot who they were.

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Fortunately, Farmer Maggot's Pizzeria was nearby and a slice of his
yummy Mushroom Supreme Pizza restored their memories.

[Nolwë_Namiel]

Unfortunately, the pizza gave them a terrible thirst so they decided to head to the Prancing Pony.

[Pervinca Took]

Fortunately, some Eagles turned up en route and flew them there really quickly.

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Unfortunately the eagles cared more about speed, than if their delivery made it to the destination unscathed.

[Alassë Estel]

Fortunately, they made their rough landing quite nicely in a hay-stack by Butterbur's stable.

[Galadriel55]

Unfortunately, it so transpired that just then all of Butterbur's famous beer had spoiled.

[Alassë Estel]

Fortunately, the plentiful servings of delicious victuals soon made them forget all about the lack of beer.

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Unfortunately, it also made them forget their own names.

[Alassë Estel]

Fortunately, they all snapped out of their 'amnesial' reverie when the food was gone.

[Pitchwife]

Unfortunately, there was still no beer.

[Alassë Estel]

Fortunately, they were all too sleepy to care very much, and all found rooms in Butterbur's inn.

[Pitchwife]

Unfortunately, that was the night when the Nazgul attacked.

[Alassë Estel]

Fortunately, the Nazgul were not adept at distinguishing between their prey and pillows.

[Pitchwife]

Unfortunately, Butterbur and his staff had to clean up all the scattered downs next morning.

[Alassë Estel]

Fortunately, they were all kind enough to stay and help tidy up before leaving.

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Unfortunately, all other guests at the inn vacated the premisis without paying.

[Alassë Estel]

Fortunately, they had to come back and pay soon after, since they couldn't long resist Butterbur's enchanted beer.

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Unfortunately, a side effect of the enchantment was that the drinker got a sudden fondness for appropriating The Prancing Pouny's tableware.

[Alassë Estel]

Fortunately, they remembered that Lobeilia S.B. was notorious for that very thing, and of course no one wanted to be likened to a Sackville-Baggins, so they stopped.