Fortunately/Unfortunately

[Elmo]

Unfortunately, the makers of said headache medicine went bust after the great Arda stock market crash caused by the knock on effect of the void declaring bankrupt, making Morgoth pretty peeved

[Meneltarmacil]

Fortunately, Morgoth's headache got so bad that his head exploded.

[The Might]

Unfortunately, 3 more heads popped out magically

[Rikae]

Fortunately, they were dog's heads: a poodle, a beagle, and a coonhound - with no more brains than dog's heads typically contain.

[Lord Melkor]

Unfortunately these dog's heads had an unholy craving for Elven flesh and Morgoth captured Fingolfin, Finrod and Turgon and the poodle one devoured Fingolfin, the beagle devoured Finrod and the coonhound devoured Turgon while Morgoth was stuck up to his waist in the Helcaraxe!

*cue picture of Dante's Inferno*

[Meneltarmacil]

Fortunately, Morgoth froze to death.

[Rikae]

Unfortunately Smaug thawed him out.

[The 1,000 Reader]

Fortunately, he was still dead.

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately, Smaug was still alive and went after Frodo.

[Boromir88]

Fortunately Smaug had a heart attack that hospitilized him

[Elmo]

Unfortunately, it turned out it was just heart burn

[Mithalwen]

Fortunately, having been turned in to a hospital, Smaug was rendered ineffective as an instrument of destruction (apart from the MRSA of course).

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately, he recovered.

[Elmo]

Fortunately, because he was a NHS hospital, he was knocked down and turn into a super casino

[Boromir88]

Unfortunately no one ever won at the Smaug casino, so everyone stopped going and it shut down.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, he had already acumilated enough money to buy Gondor.

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately, Smaug had bought Gondor so he could eat all of its citizens and steal their gold.

[Rikae]

Fortunately, he got distracted by a hot air balloon that happened to be floating by and ate the gold instead.

[Elmo]

Unfortunaely, the dragon threw up the gold on Minas Tirith, turning the city into a firey lake of molten gold

[Meneltarmacil]

Fortunately, the city had driven out of the way earlier.

[The 1,000 Reader]

Unfortunately, they drove back in the way just in time to get fried.

[Boromir88]

Fortunately that was only a decoy Minas Tirith...the real Minas Tirith was on in Edoras by this time.

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately, it got into a head-on collision with Mount Zoom.

[Gil-Galad]

Fortunately it was in the middle of the Brown Lands

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately, that was precisely what caused the death of all the Entwives.

[Gil-Galad]

Fortunately, the mystery was now solved so nobody has to talk about where the entwives went anymore, good job menel!

[The 1,000 Reader]

Unfortunately, the ents were enraged so much that they waged war on all races.

And won.

[The Might]

Fortunately, Middle-earth was much cleaner with the Ents as bosses over everything

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately, the evil logging industry showed up.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, the logging industry went into liquidation... literally.

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately, Bob the Troll drank the liquified logging industry and learned how to use a chainsaw... which, being a troll, he decided to use cheap horror movie-style on everyone.

[Gil-Galad]

Fortunately, nobody watches horror-movies in Middle Earth so Bob the Troll was quickly forgotten

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately, he started chainsawing (new word!) Lothlorien and its inhabitants.

[Boromir88]

Fortunately the chainsaw could not cut through the Mallorn trees.

[Gil-Galad]

Unfortunately a Super-Duper Chainsaw could and it did... oh yes it did...

[The Might]

Fortunately Galadriel magically summoned a wall of mithril through which the new chainsaw couldn't cut

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately, Bob had a mithril chainsaw.

[Boromir88]

Fortunately the Mithril saw's giant power sucked up a lot of fuel and soon all of Middle-earth was completely fuel-less.

[The 1,000 Reader]

Unfortunately, that meant that the technology that we have today would never find roots in Middle-Earth.

[Meneltarmacil]

Fortunately, that explained why Middle-Earth didn't really undergo much of an industrial revolution over the course of Tolkien's writings.

[Elmo]

Unfortunately since Middle Earth is meant to be our past that means the internet doesn't exist and that means the Barrowdowns site doesn't exist, and that means this thread doesn't exist, and that means I'm typing into nothing, and that means I'm insane!!!!!!!!!

[Rikae]

Fortunately, the rest of us are either insane too, or figments of HWAIM's imagination.

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately, it turned out that we were in fact insane and all woke up from our shared delusion in a mental hospital somewhere.

[Rikae]

Fortunately, we painted a door on the wall and walked through it into Middle Earth.

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately, Mount Zoom ran us over once we had stepped through.

[Elmo]

Fortunately we were ran over beside a patch of athelas so we were alright :)

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Unfortunately, some were allergic to Athelas. :(

[Boromir88]

Fortunately the 'some' were only 2, and no one felt it was a big deal, so they kept going.

[Mithalwen]

Unfortunately, *whispers* Middle Earth is only make-believe - absolutely wonderful make-believe, but not a real place, which left us ..nowhere...

[Elmo]

Fortunately, we all had some pipeweed, so that made nowhere somewhere ;)

[The Might]

Unfortunately the effect of the pipeweed soon wore off, and we realised we still were nowhere...

[Meneltarmacil]

Fortunately, we were all teleported to Somewhere.

[The 1,000 Reader]

Unfortunately, that place was Eru's courtroom.

"I deem you all guilty for partaking in the lame and pathetic action of self-insertion!" Then everybody was thrown in the void and starved to death and froze.

Meanwhile, Gimil had finally found something to eat, but now he needed something to drink.

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately, he found something to drink, but it was poisoned.

[Boromir88]

Fortunately it was Iocane powder and Gimli had built up a resistance to Iocane.

(Bonus for anyone who knows what I am referencing)

[Mithalwen]

The Princess Bride... What's my prize? :D

[Boromir88]

A congradulations of course, :D . Good job.

[Gil-Galad]

Unfortunately, the DRAGON came in the night!!!!!!!!!!!!

[The Might]

Fortunately, he didn't attack anyone.

[Elmo]

Unfortunately, this is because everyone ran away from him, he torched plenty of buildings in Minas Tirith

[The Might]

Fortunately the Pelennor fire department had made a special system using water from Anduin and were able to put out the fire soon.

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately, the Dragon ate them before they could get to work.

[Boromir88]

Fortunately, Sauron came out of Barad-dur, killed the dragon and put his minions to work to put out the fire...If he couldn't defeat Gondor, no one was going to. :rolleyes:

[Mithalwen]

Unfortunately the minions were never going to provide serious competition for Red Adair and the fire continued to burn

So just the swallowedacat feeling then.... not a proper prize? :rolleyes: :p

[Meneltarmacil]

Fortunately, the fire engulfed the hordes of Mordor.

[Elmo]

Unfortunately Bob the troll was caught up in it, poor Bob didn't do anyone anyharm he just tried his best, always willing to help out, now he's turned igneous :(

[The Might]

Unfortunately, most of them managed to escape by jumping in Anduin

[Meneltarmacil]

Fortunately, it was a little-known fact that that part of the river was full of piranhas.

[Gil-Galad]

Unfortunately, Johnny the Stinky Balrog bathed there earlier in the day so nothing lived in the river anymore

[Meneltarmacil]

Fortunately, the polluted water killed them just as easily as the piranhas would have.

[Gil-Galad]

Unfortunately, they all received HAZMAT suits while swimming

[Boromir88]

Fortunately they got the suits from Saruman, who only sold rip off HAZMAT suits...not the real HAZMAT suits.

[The 1,000 Reader]

Unfortunately, a lot of people other than the orcs relied on those suits, and were doomed when Saruman's cruddy quality began to show.

[Elmo]

Fortunately Barliman Butterbur wanted a slice of the action, offering Hazmat suits for only 3 silver pennies and a free pint of ale for the customer

[The Might]

Unfortuantely, Bill Ferny robbed him of all his belongings...and the ale too.

[Meneltarmacil]

Fortunately, the belongings he'd stolen were cursed and the ale was poisoned.

[The 1,000 Reader]

Unfortunately, Ferny just sold those.

[Gil-Galad]

Fortunately, he sold them back to Barliman Butterbur

[The Might]

Unfortunately, Barliman was now stuck with the cursed objects and the poisoned ale

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Fortunately Barliman got Gandalf interested in being a
silent partner in Barliman's Prosthetic Noses for
Actors so Gandalf uncursed the cursed objects and the poisoned ale
and put them under an enchantment of excellence.

[Elmo]

Unfortunately, Gandalf's enchantment of excellence on the ale led to a massive hike in the rate of alcoholism in Bree-land

[Meneltarmacil]

Fortunately, THE DRAGON CAME and put an end to their drunken partying.

[Elmo]

(Eru bless that dragon...) Unfortunately, the dragon became so intoxicated because he ate all those drunks that he found ugly female dragons attractive and thought he was the funniest dragon in the world

[Meneltarmacil]

Fortunately, the Rangers managed to kill the intoxicated dragon easily.

[Elmo]

Unfortunately, in the ensuing celebratory shindig, Aragorn was so inebriated he tried to chat up Galadriel, his grandmother in law :eek:

[FeRaL sHaDoW]

Fortunately, bilbo woke up and it was all just a dream.

[Gil-Galad]

Unfortunately, Bilbo had that dream because he passed out to the trolls attacking his Hole

[Meneltarmacil]

Fortunately, Mount Zoom ran over the trolls.

[Thinlómien]

Unfortunately, the lava from Mt. Zoom splashing over the trolls made them giant immortal mutant trolls.

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Fortunately, the mutant trolls (being mutant)
decided their mission in life was to open up a
trendy bistro in Bree to compete with Barliman's
Bitter Brews.

[Precioussss]

Unfortunalty, the Great Deprssion hit Middle Earth that year and the troll's Bistro had to close up, making them very angry mutant trolls.

[Elmo]

Fortunately this means the trolls could no longer afford sun block with obvious results

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately, there was a solar eclipse that day which kept them from turning to stone.

[The Might]

Fortunately, that only delayed the inevitable by a few minutes

[Volo]

Unfortunaly, that was enough time for evolution to have it's course and the trolls became immune to everything except hamburgers with peanut butter.

[Elmo]

Fortunately Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler was in the neighbourhood so that delicacy was in abundance haven gotten a ride from one of those multiverse travelling cursed shops

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately, the Dragon ate all the peanut butter burgers before they could be used against the trolls.

[FeRaL sHaDoW]

Fortunately, the great one peanut butter burger to rule them all was not eaten, so another last alliance of men and elves marched to bree to confront the evil mutant trolls.

[Volo]

Unfortunaly, there were also some very hungry hobbits in the alliance.

[FeRaL sHaDoW]

Fortunately, the burger could not be eaten by hobbits due to its size.

[Thinlómien]

Unfortunately, it could be eaten by the Dragon.

[FeRaL sHaDoW]

fortunately, an elf with a primitive kind of bazooka took care of the dragon.

[Gil-Galad]

Unfortunately, a Dwarf with an actual Bazooka came by and took care of the elf

[Elmo]

Fortunately, the elf had the rare ability to come back instantly from Mandos and he cut the dwarf up to size

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Unfortunately for the elf, Aule got sick of only elves getting
second, third, etc. chances so Aule got Eru to allow the dead dwarf to come back and use a great peanut butter burger bazooka to get the elf.

[Meneltarmacil]

Fortunately, the mutant trolls clubbed the dwarf to death.

[High King Fingolfin]

Unfortunately, Bob the Troll clubbed them first.

[Meneltarmacil]

Fortunately, Bob didn't have a peanut butter burger and thus couldn't hurt them.

[Maeggaladiel]

Unfortunately, Bob's cousin Roy had one such item in his possession and was happy to lend it to him.

[Volo]

Fortunaly, Roy was a troll who liked pranks and in reality gave Bob a walnut burger.

[High King Fingolfin]

Unfortunately, Bob was allergic to walnut burgers.

[FeRaL sHaDoW]

Fortunaly, the mutant trolls got tired for they had not been talked about for a while left ME for ever.

[Thinlómien]

Unfortunately, Bob and Roy did not leave.

[FeRaL sHaDoW]

Fortunaly, the reason why they didnt leave was because they both had died fighting hobbits.

[Precioussss]

Unfortunately, all the hobbits were now dead.

[Thinlómien]

Fortunately, they all had a proper funeral at least.

[High King Fingolfin]

Unfortunately, Ted Sandyman showed up and annoyed everyone.

[Volo]

Fortunaly, he also had a proper funeral soon after.

[FeRaL sHaDoW]

Unfortunately, there was a lack of wood in ME due to half orc half woodpeckers, that there could be no coffin

[Roa_Aoife]

Fortunately, the nearby dwarven coffinsmiths were able to make stone coffins for the hobbits just in time for their funerals.

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately, the stone used in the coffins contained a lot of strange radioactive minerals that caused the dead to rise up as flesh-eating zombies.

[Gil-Galad]

Fortunately, Were-Feanor came by and agreed to help slay all these Zombies for a warehouse of doggy-treats and a good stratch behind the ear

[Volo]

Unfortunaly, nobody except Ted Sandyman had the guts to scratch Were-Feanor, but Ted Sandyman was busy searching for brains at the moment, so no agreement.

[The Sixth Wizard]

Fortunately as the Zombies rose up and began to attack, Tom Bombadil (who is OBVIOUSLY Eru in disguise) came around and smited/smote them all while singing about how the orks would send everyone running and smoking pipe-weed.

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately, the Orcs did come and sent everybody running and smoking pipe-weed.

[High King Fingolfin]

Fortunately, everyone could use the exercise.

[Gil-Galad]

Unfortunately they all got cramps from lack of exercise

[The Might]

Fortunately Gandalf made a great medicine that made all healthy again and made lots of money out of selling it

[Volo]

Unfortunaly, Gandalf soon ruled the world with the power of money.

[Meneltarmacil]

Fortunately, Mount Zoom ran over him.

[High King Fingolfin]

Unfortunately, Gandalf was a bit more resilient, causing Mount Zoom to be run over by him.

[The 1,000 Reader]

Fortunately, Eru came and said "Gandalf, I am ashamed. To fight against the conquering of the world only to conquer it yourself? I give you two options. You can surrender to me and restore the world to normal, or I can zap you with lightning until you die. Choose now."

Naturally, Gandalf chose to surrender.

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately, the universe imploded.

[The 1,000 Reader]

Fortunately, it returned to normal with only a few creases.

[High King Fingolfin]

Unfortunately, those creases happened to be under the ocean, causing a massive tsunami to engulf all of Middle-Earth.

[Meneltarmacil]

Fortunately (don't ask me how) Mount Zoom ran over the tsunami.

[Gil-Galad]

Unfortunately, in Soviet Russia, Tsunami ran over Mt. Zoom!!!!!

[The 1,000 Reader]

Fortunately, all the bad parts of Russia were washed away.

...and Middle-Earth lived on to see another day.

[Elmo]

Unfortunately, that was after all the communists escaped, taking Comrade Faramir as the leader (Who wanted revenge for the King's usurpation of the throne of Gondor), overthrew the capitalist pig Aragorn in a brief yet spectacular coup d'etat.

Viva la révolution!

[Precioussss]

Fortunately (for Capitalist Pig Aragorn) Comrade Faramir was run over by the hobbit-zombies who were running from the orcs, and Capitalist Pig Aragorn was restored to power.

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately, Bob the Troll sat on him and squashed him.

[The 1,000 Reader]

Fortunately, that triggered something that separated Middle-Earth from Earth, and thus got rid of all of these communist and capitalist views.

[Volo]

Unfortunaly, a Mûmak forgot the One Ring in Earth.


Edit: How very useful to ask something without telling your identity... :rolleyes:

[Gil-Galad]

Fortunately, Johnny the Stinky Balrog was walking by and found it


--> Gil Guevara

[The Might]

Unfortunately, Phantom and Alien stole it

[Gil-Galad]

Fortunately, they fell over due to their 2D-ness

[The Might]

Unfortunately, Hookbill had just released a new and improved 3D version, which enabled them to take back the Ring

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, Alien was more interested in a small kitten in a tree and began setting the tree on fire. :eek:

[Volo]

Unfortunaly, the kitten was Eru in disguise.

[The Might]

Fortunately, Phantom used the Ring to disappear and finally got rid of Alien

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately, Alien could still smell him.

[The Might]

Fortunately, while Alien was busy burning down the tree, Phantom ran back home

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately, he stepped right in the bear trap that Alien had placed in the front hallway.

[High King Fingolfin]

Fortunately, Phantom was incorporeal, so the trap didn't harm him.

[The 1,000 Reader]

Unfortunately, Phantom was smashed by several energy bolts and sucked into a vaccum cleaner. Afterwards, two men in black suits arrived and captured Alien, driving off with him out cold in the back seat.

[The Sixth Wizard]

Fortunately the Barrow-Wight was strolling by and judged that Phantom vs. Alien fell into the category of 'not suitable for a Tolkien forum' and proposed the entire thread be shut down! :eek:

(who are phantom and alien anyway? :confused: )

[Lord Melkor]

Unfortunately, the Barrow-Wight instead opted to reset this entire thread.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, all this distracted Sauron from the fact that the Bailiffs had taken all of his stuff.

(who are phantom and alien anyway? :confused: )

They are the comic strip characters from the Barrow Downs Newspaper (see my sig).

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately, the Bailiffs were evil.

[Volo]

Fortunaly, they were also extremly dumb and their evil was harmless, except for maybe themselves.

[Gil-Galad]

Unfortunately, THE DRAGON CAME IN THE NIGHT

[The Might]

Fortunately, it was only a pink baby dragon

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Unfortunately, THE DRAGON had a father who was angry and started burninating.

[Meneltarmacil]

Fortunately, he only torched the evil bailiffs.

[High King Fingolfin]

Unfortunately, the baliffs ran around, starting many other things on fire, such as Gimli's bead. :smokin:

[The Elf-warrior]

Fortunately, Legolas saved Gimli's bead by pouring conditioner on it.

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately, he only managed to save his bead, while his beard was still on fire. :p

[Gil-Galad]

Fortunately, Gimli was fine with it, he always wanted t be a Flaming-Dwarf

[Rikae]

Unfortunately, Denethor was jealous.

[The Might]

Fortunately, out of so much jealousy, he ignited himself, ran around Minas Tirith for a while, then jumped over the cliff on top of the seventh level

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately, he landed in a swimming pool on the sixth level and survived.

[The Might]

Fortunately, it was pretty deep, and he couldn't swim

[The Sixth Wizard]

Unfortunately a plundering orc fished him out. :D

(Come on, post what I know you will, I dare you.)

[Meneltarmacil]

Fortunately, they were both struck by lightning.

[Lord Melkor]

Unfortunately, this created a Denethor-Orc hybrid creature with various superpowers, like flying, shooting lightning from his fingertips and a penchant for wearing his underpants over his spandex trousers.

[Meneltarmacil]

Fortunately, Mount Zoom, Johnny the Stinky Balrog, the alien-eating dog, the Flat Morgo-Yak, Were-Feanor, and Bob the Troll all ganged up on him before he could become a running gag.

[Gil-Galad]

Unfortuately, it worked and he was no more as the animator had a sudden heart attack

[Maeggaladiel]

Fortunately they had a pretty big special effects budget and were able to hire a new animator.

[The 1,000 Reader]

Unfortunately, this animator didn't like running gags and so they all stayed dead.

[Precioussss]

Fortunately, that same animator got run over by Mount Zoom. Everyone appreciated the irony.

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately, Mount Zoom ceased to exist when the animator died.

[Gil-Galad]

Fortuantely, for Mt. Zooms sacrifice all the rest of the running gags gained immortal life

[Thinlómien]

Unfortunately, the life they gained was one in eternal servitude to the animator.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, the animator never noticed them.

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Unfortunately, the reanimator did. :cool:

[Precioussss]

Fortunately, The reanimator was an illusion, and the real animator died when he was squat by Mount Zoom.

[The 1,000 Reader]

Unfortunately, the animator dying was also an illusion, seeing as how he killed Mount Zoom first by not continuing the running gags.

[Meneltarmacil]

Fortunately, the entire universe was also an illusion. It turned out that this was all just a very strange dream.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Unfortunately, dreams come true. Especially this one.

[FeRaL sHaDoW]

Fortunately, he dreamed about every one being rich.

[High King Fingolfin]

Unfortunately, everyone became rich only the Tolkien sense.

Originally posted by J.R.R. Tolkien
If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, it was made more fun because, as the tale tells us, 'Disco arose about Melkor' and so the party began!

[Precioussss]

Unfortunately, this caused contention between Boromir the Disco King and everybody else, who thought his Electric Slide needed work.

[Meneltarmacil]

Fortunately, an anvil fell out of the sky and squished Boromir.

[The 1,000 Reader]

Unfortunately, it was done like it would happen in real life, not in a cartoon, and so all the children watching were thrown into shock.

[The Might]

Fortunately, that didn't last long, since kids were used to such scenes after watching too much TV.

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately, Boromir rose up as a zombie to take revenge.

[Elmo]

Fortunately, all Boromir really wanted to do was to star in the hilarious new Simon Pegg/Nick Frost buddy comedy in which a hot shot city policeman was posted to a sleepy village in the Shire which was infested with zombies and famous British actors and comedians in a satanic cult

[Gil-Galad]

Unfortunately, he was still a zombie and had no money and nobody accepted zombie-money so he went to the hobbiton mall

[Elmo]

Fortunately, (for zombie Boromir that is) he was able to take advantage of the special 'bite one get one flee' deal for hobbits that was a one day only special sales event at Hobbiton mall

P.S.Don't tar and feather me for this awful post, remember this thread is just a bit of pun

P.P.S I'll get me coat

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately for everyone involved, THE DRAGON CAME and set the mall on fire.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, THE DRAGON got bored and went to sleep on the moon.

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately, he suffocated due to lack of breathable air.

[High King Fingolfin]

Fortunately, his suffocation meant that THE DRAGON would never come again.

[Precioussss]

Unfortnately, zombie Boromir gave THE DRAGON mouth-to-mouth, thereby turning THE DRAGON into a zombie. (Don't ask how....it just did)

[The Might]

Fortunately Michael Jackson came by and hired the zombie dragon for his new video

[Lord Melkor]

Unfortunately he also hired the Dead Men of Dunharrow for his 'Thriller' remake. When Aragorn and co. arrived to enlist their aid against Sauron they found the Paths of the Dead deserted. Consequently, Pelargir was sacked by the Corsairs, the Witch-King razed Minas Tirith (in between shootings of the new 'Thriller' music video since the Nazgul had been enlisted too) and Sauron conquered all of Middle-Earth.

[Volo]

Fortunaly, the majority of the population, being orcs, liked Sauron's reign.

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Unfortunately for Sauron those sly Gondorians had built a
potemkin village of Minas Tirith with great cgi effects to fool Sauron
into thinking he had conquered Middle-earth, leaving the real Rohirric
forces to ride around the Mordor mountain ranges, occupy Mordor, and
toss MJ into Orodruin (what a thrill!).

[The 1,000 Reader]

Fortunately (for Sauron) the air in Mordor really was a poison, and everybody died.

[High King Fingolfin]

Unfortunately, this meant that the forces of good were just about sunk yet again.

[Gil-Galad]

Fortunately, Eru fell on the rewind button and we rewinded to oh... hmmm... lets go with Gondorians fighting the Corsairs of Umbar for boredom!

[FeRaL sHaDoW]

Unfortunately, rewinding the world stopped time and every one and thing was frozen. every one and thing apart from jhonny the BALROG

[The Sixth Wizard]

Fortunately Johnny was so astounded at not being called 'Stinky' for once that he didn't take the advantage.

[Precioussss]

Unfortunately, an unfrozen Orc walked by and called Johnny a Stinky BALROG, which threw him into a fit of madness!

[Gil-Galad]

Fortunately, that madness soomed left Johnny the Stinky Balrog as he learned how to love himself, smelly or not

[Elmo]

Unfortunately, as he turned over a new leaf he tried deodorent, of course it doesn't take a rocket scientist to work out what happens when you spray deodorent on what is basically a walking bonfire...

[Meneltarmacil]

Fortunately, this killed him.

[Gil-Galad]

Unfortunately, Menel wasn't paying attention to "The law of Johnny the Stinky Balrog", for he is invinceable to all forms of death

[Meneltarmacil]

Fortunately, there was no equivalent law regarding Gil-Galad, who was eaten by sharks for some reason.

[The 1,000 Reader]

Unfortunately, when Aule heard of Sauron's humiliating loss to Huan, he spent the whole night binge-drinking, asking himself "Where did I go wrong in rasing that boy?", and the liquor made him horribly ill, causing him to be rushed to the hospital.

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Fortunately the ER attendant was an (intelligent) relative
of Ioreth and cured Sauron with Athelas.

[FeRaL sHaDoW]

Unfortunately, this did not help aule

[Precioussss]

Fortunately, Sauron was found to be allergic to athelas and later died of hives.

[Boromir88]

Unfortunately since the Ring was still around Sauron instantaneously made a new body for himself.

[Precioussss]

Fortunately, the new body that Sauron made for himself was that of a fuzzy pink walrus beanbag, which was, of course, incapable of doing anything but be cuddly and cute.

[Volo]

Unfortunaly, that, like we all know, is enough. The Pink Walrus cult started worshipping Sauron and he made an army out of them.

[Meneltarmacil]

Fortunately, Mount Zoom ran over them all.

[Boromir88]

Unfortunately that didn't kill them and the cult grew even larger :eek:

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, they all decided to be peace loving elf friends.

[Boromir88]

Unfortunately the super-evil cults of Alatar and Pallando came and devoured the cult of peace loving elf friends.

[The Might]

Fortunately, Alatar and Pallando were offering free burgers to everyone who joined them

[Elmo]

Unfortunately, they were cursed (that's bad for any Homer Simpson doppelgangers out there man that was a classic episode )

[Meneltarmacil]

Fortunately, Sauron ate one of the cursed burgers.

[The Might]

Unfortunately Ainur are immune to that stuff.

[Gil-Galad]

Fortunately, he wasn't immune to the cursed pickles in that cursed burger

[FeRaL sHaDoW]

Unfortunately, sauron didnt like pickles and he put them to the side

[Precioussss]

Fortunately he ate the burger anyway, without the pickles, which caused him to explode because he was already full of beans and there was no room left for a burger.

[The Might]

Unfortunately, the Ring had not yet been destroyed, so Sauron reappeared soon

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, The Nazgul had taken the ring out to play with on their lunch break and lost it. :eek:

[The Might]

Unfortunately nobody found it, so Sauron didn't have any problem.

[Gil-Galad]

Fortunately, somebody put it on eBay and Sauron was flat broke

[Volo]

Unfortunaly, gollum7453 wasn't.

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Fortunately Radagast the Brown mortgaged Rhosgobel
and outbid gollum 7543 to gain possession of the Ring.

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

Unfortunately, Dark Lord Enterprises PLC owned a controlling interest in his bank.

[Elmo]

Fortunately, Dark Lord Enterprises PLC succumbed to hostile takeover by Elf Lord's R Us, and then sold off piece by piece

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately, Isengard Enterprises had bought out Elf Lords R Us and was basically controlling the whole company.

[Gil-Galad]

Fortunately, Erebor-tosh decided to buy out everyone with their hoarded gold

[High King Fingolfin]

Unfortunately, a takeover by Balrogs Inc. left everyone quite sad.

[The Elf-warrior]

Fortunately, the hostile takeover was just an April Fools Day joke.