Fortunately/Unfortunately

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, as you may know from the wishing thread (http://forum.barrowdowns.com/showthread.php?p=448081#post448081), 'The smack down' is a form of toasted cheese. The only effect it had was that Gil-Galad had some 2nd age cheese in his hair. The smell was the worst thing.
:p

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately (for Gil-Galad), the cheese attracted thousands of stinging insects from miles around.

[Valesse]

Fortunately he had purchased some Osgiliath Off: the very popular and effective pest spray.

[Glirdan]

Unfortunately, it was meant for Balrogs only and Gil inflated into a large balloon.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, the insects went to Sauron instead. He ran with all speed to Mount Doom, but not fast enough. :D

[Meneltarmacil]

Fortunately, the mountain drove up to him, meeting him before the insects could get to him.

[Eonwe]

Unfortunately, for Sauron, the Mountain didn't stop when it met him; it ran over him, along with everything else in its path.

[Gil-Galad]

Fortunately it was Sauron and there was much rejoicing
































...yay

[Boromir88]

Unfortunately, Gimli was driving Mount Doom, and even though there was rejoicing for Sauron's death Aragorn was forced to charge Gimli with 60,000 counts of Vehicular homicide and failure to control a dangerous automobile.

[Gil-Galad]

Fortunately Sauron was still dead

[Boromir88]

Unfortunately Gimli was facing the death penalty...and Sauron started to take shape again...

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, as it was Sauron, Gimli was let off the hook, and Gimli left the handbrake off in the Mountain and Sauron was run over again.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

. . . Sauron learned to dodge this time.

( :p to Hookbill)

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, some of the cheese 'Smack down' was on the floor and Sauron got his foot trapped in it!

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately, Mount Zoom broke down.

[JennyHallu]

Fortunately, it still got pretty good speed in neutral if you were pointed downhill.

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Unfortunately, Mount Zoom's speed kept it going
until it jammed into the main entrance to the
Lonely Mountain, presenting Smaug,
back from his success in The Hobbit Survivor,
with a quandary.

[JennyHallu]

Fortunately, Smaug had the brilliant idea to use the cracks of doom to open a world famous spa! Hot pools for the warm-blooded, and lava swimming pools for the very very very cold blooded. (Mostly Smaug just worked on his lava-tan.)

[Boromir88]

Unfortunately smaug was sued for 5 billion dollars in his riches, because too many people were rather...burnt to a crisp from his Mount Doom Spa resort.

[Glirdan]

Fortunately, Smaug was a master speaker and he convinced everyone that it was all Gandalf's fault.

[Gil-Galad]

Unfortunately so was Gandalf, but Gandy was confuing so they ended up blaming hte Mutant Dog

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

(DUN DUN DUN!!!)

. . . the Mutant Dog vanished in a puff of canonicity.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Unfortunately, the smoke left by the puff of canonicity polluted the water.

[Tuor of Gondolin]

Fortunately, the only water pollluted was
The Watcher's pool, which he found quite
refreshing after regenerating some
arms those nine intruders had
thoughtlessly attacked when he
was trying to shake their hands.

[Naria]

Unfortunately, the Watcher's polluted pool water turned out to be toxic waste and he regenerated arms where they shouldn't be and grew an extra head, also where that shouldn't be. :eek: :)

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, he caught a glimpse of himself in a mirror and flew out of the pool, set himself on fire and leaped off a cliff.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

. . . Denethor sued him for copyright infringement.

[Tuor of Gondolin]

Fortunately Billy Flynn, the famous Chicago lawyer
who successfully got Velma Kelly and Roxie Hart
off on murder charges, brilliantly defended The
Watcher. :cool:

[Eonwe]

Unfortunately, for the lawyers, the masses knew the cold truth behind the smooth lies. They gathered pitchforks, culbs, and torches, and beat The Watcher to within an inch of his life.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

. . . the Watcher swam away.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Unfortunately, he swam into Gandalf's house and started eating all his food.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Fortunately . . .

. . . the food had their cloaks on.

Unfortunately . . .

. . . Gandalf didn't. :eek:

[Tuor of Gondolin]

Fortunately the Watcher dove out the window into the
Brandywine and swam into the ocean to have a
great time chasing and eating Great Great Great White
Sharks with his longtime chum Ulmo
(they'd been in the same fraternity at VU).

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately, they were sucked into the Giant Whirlpool of Total Doom.

[Eonwe]

Fortunately, that meant that they were about to discuss philosophy with a giant squid! :D ;)

[Maeggaladiel]

Unfortunately, the squid wasn't at home at the moment.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

. . . his cousin, the medium-sized cuttlefish, was.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Unfortunately, the medium-sized cuttlefish knew as much about philosophy as Gandalf does about keeping his cloak on.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

. . . they talked about cricket instead.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Unfortunately, by the end of it, most of them were just skeletons.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

. . . Ainur and Watcher skeletons make good home decors for a cuttlefish.

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Unfortunately for the cuttlefish, cuttlefish
skeletons make even better home decor
skeletons for Ainur and Watchers.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, this paradox sent everyone back to normal and back to their homes.

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately, Aragorn found a huge dragon sitting in the King's House when he got back.

[Glowing Stone]

Fortunately, The dragon was dead! :)

[Eonwe]

Welcome to the 'Downs, Glowing Stone! Glad to have you aboard!

Unfortunatley, the King as really evil, and the Dragon had been going to kill him.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, he slipped and fell down the stairs.

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Unfortunately Smaug's third cousin (twice removed on
his mother's side) had been sent to guard the king since
the twerp was a big disappointment to the family (having been
thrown out of Dragon University for failing "Burning Down
Laketowns 101") and saved the evil monarch.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

. . . he was so excited at saving the evil monarch that he danced for joy in the throne room and suddenly dropped him in the Cracks in the Floor of DOOM!

GOOD wins!

Here we go again . . .

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Unfortunately, the Dragon was so distort that it flew into a tantrum and destroyed half of Gondor.

[Eonwe]

Fortunately, he awoke to find he had been haveing a most unpleasant dream.

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately, the dream came true.

[THE Ka]

Fortunately, a quick therapy session and one gigantic couch constructed later, the dragon's anger was found to have come simply from a childhood trama of a unsympathic mother...

~Aesthete

[Eonwe]

Unfortunatley, this sent him into such a rage against his now dead mother, that he actually did destroy all of Gondor! :eek:

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, Gandalf appeared in front of him with the intension of turning the Dragon to stone. But the Dragon assumed he would uncloak and fled into the wilderness screaming, "Don't go that way! Don't go!"

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

. . . Gandalf did uncloak, and half of Gondor turned to stone.

The people, that is.

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Fortunately, Eru contracted with Aslan to (unstone?)
that half of Gondor.

[Glirdan]

Unfortunately, Morgoth broke out of the Void and destroyed the rest of Arda.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, just before he began his rampage, Mount Zoom crashed into Morgoth's face and he fell over into the sea and drowned.

[Eonwe]

Unfortunatley, Chuck Norris, yes Chuck Norris gave Mt. Zoom and roundhouse kick to the face.

[Meneltarmacil]

Fortunately, it exploded due to the force of the kick and destroyed Morgoth anyway.

[Legolas in spandex]

unfortunately, anything within a 30 mile radius was destroyed.

[Glirdan]

Fortunately, none of this matter because Arda was already destroyed (Gandalf uncloaked again :rolleyes: )

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

. . . when Eru reconvened the Ainur to begin the Music again, Gandalf uncloaked and turned half the Ainur into stone. The rest joined him in the uncloaking frenzy, and even Eru was seen shedding his llama wool.

UNCLOAKING WINS!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, when Gandalf saw this, he wept as everyone had stolen his idea and so he vowed never to uncloak again. :eek:


(How long will it last?)

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

. . . Iro, Eru's older brother, smiteth all the uncloaked ones.

[Tuor of Gondolin]

Unfortunately for Iro, a Norwegian Blue Parrot, thought to be dead,
but as it turned out only resting, decided many recent comments
had gotten silly and got some ravens and the Lord of the
Eagles to call for themes featuring the magnificent flying creatures
in Middle-earth.

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Fortunately, for no one Belladonna Took was one of those creatures.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

(for Belladonna)

. . . an Elf shot an arrow at her.

[Glirdan]

Fortunately, (for Belladonna) she turned into a dragon and the arrow did no harm.

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Unfortunately, (for Belladonna) She turned in to a non winged dragon and hit the ground as a bowl of petunias. (that means she died and got scatterd all over the place)

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Unfortunately, the arrow did strike the Norwegian Blue Parrot.

[Meneltarmacil]

Fortunately, the parrot had been evil.

[Gil-Galad]

Unfortunately the parrot was just sleeping

[Farael]

Oops, just realized I cross-posted with Gil... let's change that and do a double-Fortunately/Unfortunately

Fortunately the parrot was actually the re-incarnation of Saruman who had just recently decided to abandon his evil ways


Unfortunately, many people now think that the sequence of Fortunately/Unfortunately should have included a comment on what Belladona/Dragon/Bowl of Petunia's was thinking before it crashed. It is believed that we would know a lot more about the universe if whe had.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, they weren't thinking about much, and Saruman made everyone bacon and eggs*!


*By this, I don’t mean that he made them into bacon and eggs. He made bacon and eggs for them. :p

[Glirdan]

Unfortunately, someone took the cookie from the cookie jar.

[Telperaca]

Fortunately, there was a spare cookie jar.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Unfortunately, the jar was full of Dragons! :eek:

Although, no one quite knows why... or how.

[Telperaca]

Fortunately, the dragons were under a sleeping spell for enternity.

:p

[Eonwe]

Unfortunatley, they all slept-walked. And they firebombed everything in sight.

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Fortunately some super intelligent mice had commissioned
Slartibartfast to make a long-lasting study which included
Middle-earth to discover just what Belladona/Dragon/Bowl of Petunia's was thinking before it crashed since they believed that we would know a lot more about the universe if they did.

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Unfortunatley, because Tuor in Gondolin included "Belladona/Dragon/Bowl of Petunia's " in his post, I cannot declare war upon him as I wished to!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, a Mountain on wheels crashed through the house and the sleepwalking Dragons were crushed.

[Naria]

Unfortunately one of the dragons were able to escape before Mt. Zoom hit the house and breathed fire on all of the wheels, melting them. :p :)

[Nogrod]

Fortunately they looked much better in a melted state.

[Glirdan]

Unfortunately, Minas Tirith and Isengard were jealous of Mount Zoom's cool looking wheels and the chased Mount Zoom around Arda.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, nothing on wheels can catch Mount Zoom! :D

[Gil-Galad]

Except perhaps Mt. Zoom's clone from the North Pole... Mt. Zoom^2

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, Mount Zoom^2 was in Aman doing advertisements for sports drinks.

[Tuor of Gondolin]

Unfortunately Mount Zoom's clone from the
South Pole, Mount Zoom^3, was even
faster.

[JennyHallu]

Fortunately, Mount Zoom^3 wasn't really interested in catching Mount Zoom to begin with, just fascinating with penguin chasing.

(And if it's a clone, can it be any faster?)

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, Mount Zoom^3 wasn't really interested in catching Mount Zoom to begin with, just fascinating with penguin chasing.

Unfortunately, upon hearing of all these other pretenders to its throne, Sauron turned Mount Zoom around and sent forth legions of Orcs and Trolls and Dragons which destroyed Mount Zoom^2 and ^3. And he did laugh heartily.

[JennyHallu]

Fortunately, the penguins felt better about the whole thing, and held a celebratory parade in Minas Tirith before traveling north of the Shire, where they planned to start a new colony.

[Gil-Galad]

Unfortunately, Penguins are natures party-animals and they ended up making a colony in Deep Harad where the Oliphaunt roam.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, due to a new peace treat, the Dragons and Penguins had become allies and they fought off the Oliphants. The Pen-gon alliance then sets off for the rest of Middle Earth! :eek:

[Farael]

Unfortunately, after the Oliphaunts were defeated, the Pen-gon alliance set it's aims on the rest of the free peoples of middle earth.... furthermore, some evil creatures tagged along.... and thus, the Pen-Tag-Gon alliance was formed.... or to simplify it, the Pentagon.

[Tuor of Gondolin]

Fortunately the Pentagon alliance was stymied by the
dolphins before they left Middle-earth out of gratitude
for the gifts to them by the great Numenorean ancestors of the
Gondorians. The exact words of the dolphins being:

So long, and thanks for all the fish.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

. . . some guy living Outside the Asylum (Elrond, actually) called for a Council of the Dolphin-hunt.

(I know that's not what happens in the book, but hey! sue me. :p )

[Tuor of Gondolin]

Fortunately the Watcher formed an alliance
with his fellow water creature dolphins against
Elrond and the Pentagon.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

. . . Boromir comes rushin' at the Watcher, holding his knife and fork, chanting 'SQUIIIIIIIIIIIIID!'

He ate the Watcher in the Water. *burp* Calamari is très nice. :cool:

WAVE KINGS AT BOROMIR THE DISCO SQUID! You are not forgotten.

[Telperaca]

Unfortunately, the squid was poisoned and so Boromir was facing a slow death... :rolleyes:

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

. . . the two Unfortunately's cancelled each other and returned the thread to its primordial state.

[From the first post: ]Gimli finally found something to eat

[Tuor of Gondolin]

Unfortunately (depending on your point of view)
it was a blond movie elf. It turns out elves can
drown in the ocean. That wouldn't be
cannabalism, would it? Or would it? :confused:

Of course, rather like the inciddent involving Bilbo's
mother, the question remains did he slip or was
he pushed. :p

[Telperaca]

Fortunately for the elf, he could doggie paddle. :p

[JennyHallu]

Unfortunately, he got lost.

[Tuor of Gondolin]

Fortunately for the blond elf, some fangirls
prevailed upon Ulmo to help save him.

[JennyHallu]

Unfortunately, Ulmo merely saw to it that he didn't have to dog-paddle anymore, and gave him a magic ring that kept him afloat.

[Tuor of Gondolin]

Fortunately, the magic ring let him catch up to Gimli,
who he unceremoniously tossed into the sea.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Unfortunately, Gimli's beard soaked up all the water. :eek:

[Meneltarmacil]

Fortunately, a giant squid squeezed the water back into the Sea.

[Eonwe]

Unfortunatly, it was attacked by harpoon-wielding renagades led by none other than Captain Nemo!

[Telperaca]

Fortunately, Nemo was distracted by the big "butt" that was floating in the surface of the water to continue his attack... ;)

[Tuor of Gondolin]

Unfortunately, Nemo was convinced to continue attacking
by a New Zealander who offered to make an epic 3-part
movie of his adventures if Nemo would only toss Gimli
all the way to Aman.

[Telperaca]

Fortunately for Gimli, Nemo met a horrid end with the piranas. ;)

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Unfortunately for Gimli, the piranas were
fanatical devotees of dwarf tossing.

[Meneltarmacil]

Fortunately, they tossed him onto dry land.

[elronds_daughter]

Unfortunately, the dry land the piranas tossed him onto was located in Aman, so Nemo lost his chance at fame, for the piranas got made into an epic, three-part movie instead.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, no one went to see the films.

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Unfortunately the piranas had already
inked a 26-part cable tv series with HBO.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, TVs had been banned and all stations shut down after Gandalf's... *cough*... 'special' broadcasts.

[Glirdan]

Unfortunately, the 'special' broadcasts still aired in Valinor.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, Gandalf was captured and forced to do community service for his crimes.

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Unfortunately, rebroadcasts of "Gandalf Raw"
bacame so popular that he was granted a pardon by
the valar (at the request of a curiously benign Manwe).

[Telperaca]

Fortunately, the Fool of a took still owed Gandalf a favour.

[Tuor of Gondolin]

Unfortunately, the fool of a took was "accidentally" ;)
nudged into a deep opening in Moria by Gandalf, and
fell quite some way. :eek:

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, he landed on the Drummer in the Deep, who happened to be a REALLY fat Orc whose stomach acted as a bouncy castle to smaller Orcs.

[Tuor of Gondolin]

Unfortunately, the picture created by
Hookbill's post is DISGUSTING ! :D


P. S. did the silly hobbit bounce back all the way up
or into the Drummer's mouth?

[Meneltarmacil]

Fortunately, Pippin managed to get back to where Gandalf was.

[The 1,000 Reader]

Unfortunately, Gandalf was shooting his next video, and so Pippin was blinded.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, as he stumbled around, he hit a lamp over which burned Gandalf's cloak onto his skin.

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Unfortunately, the cloak inspired him to start
singing a hobbit drinking song with Merry.

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Fortunately, they all fell into a deep sleep and forgot that all of this had ever happend.

[Thinlómien]

Unfortunately they all had nightmares because they were so upset that Rune had miraculously reappeared. :eek: ;)

[Celuien]

Fortunately, Dr. Sigmund was around to analyse their dreams.

[Glirdan]

Unfrotunately, everyone was still perplexed at the sudden reapearence of Rune.

[Gil-Galad]

Fortunately they could care less

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Unfortunately, Gandalf went into a fit of confusion and started throwing things at the Hobbits.

[The 1,000 Reader]

Fortunately, Sigmund's new bodyguards, the nazgul, ran in and beat Gandalf into a coma.

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Unfortunately Gandalf's new bodyguards, reformed
uber-orcs on steroids, ran in and beat up the nazgul.

[Glirdan]

Fortunately, this was all part of some whacked up movie that Eru was watching and just then, he decided to change the channel.

[The 1,000 Reader]

Unfortunately, he changed to the Discovery Channel just as they were showing their segment about mating...



............Eru was blind and mortified .5 seconds later.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, he changed again in .4 seconds.

[Glirdan]

Unfortunately, in those .9 seconds, 9, 000 years of Darkness crept up on Middle-Earth.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, the darkness was very faint and no one really noticed... not even Sauron noticed.

[THE Ka]

Unfortunately, a curious creature named Prode just arrived from K-PAX, and enlightened Sauron in the wonderful use of sunglasses and light travel...


~ Aesthete

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, Sauron ignored Prode and simply set him (or her) on fire and went back to watching soap operas and plotting.

[Elu Ancalime]

Unfortunatly he was so engrossed in his soap opera he mistakenly told all his minions to "kill Chet because he was backstabbing on Ashley," and orcs preceded to persecute all Chets in Middle-Earth.
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[Glirdan]

Fortunately, the Chet he was talking about was in an alternate dimension.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Unfortunately, most of the Gondorian army who were about to attack Mordor were called Chet, so the Orcs had to kill them all. :eek:

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Fortunately, all orcs do very poor in spelling at school
so they mistakenly only attacked the few effiminate
"Chad" Gondorian soldiers.

[The 1,000 Reader]

Unfortunately, this did not go well with the claim Gondor had just made, said claim being that gays would not be targeted for what they were.

[Tuor of Gondolin]

Fortunately, the radical right Gondorian administration that
had ended the "don't ask- don't tell" policy was ousted
due to corruption and replaced with a progressive Gondorian
council, thanks to the wisdom of a returned from the front king
after he was done slapping around some cheeky Easterling
armies.

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately, the political argument was ended when Mount Zoom ran over everybody in the city.

[The 1,000 Reader]

Fortunately, because Mount Zoom was used so many times in this story, Eru made it vanish from all existance.

[Glirdan]

Unfortunately, it tormented Eru instead. Not to mention there was still Minas Tirith and Isengard on wheels.

[Tuor of Gondolin]

Fortunately for Eru, he got Mount Zoom written
into Lost as a (what else?) deux ex
machina to help the survivors to civilization,
and to keep it from bugging him in Middle-earth.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Unfortunately, Minas Taxi, Barad-Dash, Orth-Tank* and the rest were still at large.


*See my signature

[Tuor of Gondolin]

Fortunately the Gondorians of yore made many
speedbumps of orthanc stone, and placed them wisely,
as their seers (ancestors of Malbeth) had predicted
the rise of the machines and their evil plan to
terminate other modes of transportation. :p

[Holbytlass]

Unfortunately, GDOT (Gondor Department of Transportation) decided that the Orthanc speedbumps impeded the flow of wagons and removed them.

[Tuor of Gondolin]

Fortunately the GDOT's order, in a typical beureaucratic
move, was superceded by the AEPA (Arnor Environmental
Protection Agency) since removal of the speedbumps
would imperil the endangered Balrog(s?), who needed
to stand on bits of Orthanc Stone to use its
mysterious properties to get enough lift to fly away.

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately, the King got rid of all these annoying agencies.

[Elu Ancalime]

Fortunatly, Radagast took all of these hippies to go to Rhun and become friends with the Avari, so the King was safe.
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[Glirdan]

Unfortunately, Radagast wan't that much of hippie. Sure he loves animals, but he didn't do the hole pipeweed thing. :p

[Elu Ancalime]

Which was fortunate for Sauruman, because he was on pipeweed, and mistankenly thought Radagast to be the same, so he sent Orthanc to Pimp My Ride and used the new Orth-Tank to hold Ents hostage until Radagast gave him some to compensate for Merry's treachery.
________
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[Hookbill the Goomba]

Unfortunately, The Witch King, driving Minas Morgul... or Minas Mor-go (ha ha ha ha :D ) crashed into Orth-Tank. They had to get the insurance people involved.

[Elu Ancalime]

Fortunatly he escaped from the lawyers on his fell beast while Sauruman beat off the lobbyists and such legal matters.
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[Glirdan]

Unfortunately, the over swelling numbers eventually broke Saruman down.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, this meant his reign of terror was temporarily over.

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Unfortunately this left the door open for the
great-great-great-(etc.)-grandson of Deagol
to (as he put it) "get his own back" by
being "no more mister nice guy" so he
stole the Ring and enlisted all S-B's
he could find as his followers.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, there was only one S-B left, and he was nearly dead.

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Unfortunately for some hobbits in the Shire, that
S-B's father and grandfather had secretly had numerous affairs
and many illegitimate (and typically cranky S-B type)
descendants.

[Elu Ancalime]

Fortunatly after the first two battles in the Shire the hobbits knew what to do, so they organized a hobbit militia to meet the S-B's to fight army to army in the Southfarthing; the local men thought this hilarious and placed bets.
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[Tuor in Gondolin]

Unfortunately the betting caused dissension in Gondor
when it was found that Aragorn and Arwen had
placed bets on opposite armies sides.

[The 1,000 Reader]

Fortunately, this provided good entertainment.

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Unfortunately Elessar lost a bundle on his wager
and had to give his wife's brothers a mortgage on
Arnor to cover his debts.

[The 1,000 Reader]

Fortunately, the money came from the "kill the children" fund, rendering it bankrupt and thus saving the world for another day.

[Elu Ancalime]

Unfortunately, with the arrival of credit cards from the South, The Rivendell government began to borrow more than they repaid, so they declared bankrupt, and all the land north of the Isen and west of the Mountains fell into poverty, for many followed the Witch-King's "hot tip" to invest all into Rivendell instead of Disney World.
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[The 1,000 Reader]

Fortunately, WiKi invested in Disney World and became rich beyond his wildest dreams.

With that, the realm of Angmar rose again.

[Glirdan]

Unfortunately, this wasn't a good thing.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, the realm of Angmar was raised so high that it went into space and they all suffocated.

[The 1,000 Reader]

Unfortunately, Angmar had it's own gravity and nazgul (as well as super-orcs) didn't need air.

[Elu Ancalime]

Fortunately for Eriador, who is now suffering under the yoke of Angmar with wings, Glorfindel and Elrond stormed

north to do battle with the Witch King in the new Riven-deisel :D :smokin:
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[The 1,000 Reader]

Fortunately for Eriador, who is now suffering under the yoke of Angmar with wings, GLorfindel and Elrond stormed north to do battle with the Witch King in the new Riven-deisel :D :smokin:



Unfortunately, Elrond sensed that Aragorn was with Arwen and he quickly left Glorfindel to split them apart.

Glorfindel ran to the top of Angmar and sought battle with the Witch-King. However, he was already out of breath from running up Angmar and combined with no air, he died before he could do anything.

[Elu Ancalime]

Fortunatly, Riven-deisel and its new 9 miles a gallon tank had totally smahed the armies of Angmar. Although Angmar was in the air, it had no orcs to send to attack.
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[The 1,000 Reader]

Unfortunately, the above was a paradox with the orc armies stuck in the air getting trampled by the armies below who can't reach them.

This caused an explosion that eliminated Middle-Earth.

[Elu Ancalime]

Fortunatly, that odd rift in space-time not only destroyed Middle Earth, but created a new perverted one, with Melkor in charge, having dwarves work in strawberry fields, elves in sweat shops, and men that could never eat beef. But why was this fortunate? Because Radagast was leading an army to attack Minas Fornost.
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[Hookbill the Goomba]

Unfortunately, this was all very confusing and Professor Tolkien had to go and have a little lie down.

[Glirdan]

Fortunately, he woke up and realised it was all a bad dream.

[Elu Ancalime]

Unfortunatly, part of his dream was a prophecy that JK Rowling, a descendant of Alatar and Pallando's 'secret magic cults', would start a heretic culture that said that anybody could be a wizard and that cave trolls looked like Shrek. :cool:
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[The 1,000 Reader]

Fortunately, with help from his old war buddies, the good professor stopped this prophecy.

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Unfortunately, J. K. Rowling turned out to be
a pseudonym for C. S. Lewis and it was revealed
by his adopted sons that all the Harry Potter books
had been written by him with instructions to his
heirs not to have them published, out of respect
for Tollers, until 20 years after they had both died.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, that was all complete nonsense. :p

[The 1,000 Reader]

Unfortunately, that nonsense was too confusing so Middle-Earth exploded once again with great effects in the shape of a weta.

[Tuor of Gondolin]

Fortunately, Middle-earth came together again,
but with Morgoth's and the Feanoreans roles
reversed! Would the brave (but hasty) Morgoth
and his loyal ally Sauron be able to protect Beleriand
from the evil Feanoreans ensconced in Thangorodrim? :eek:

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Unfortunately, they couldn't.

[Eonwe]

Fortunately, DragonForce (http://www.agjs34.hemscott.net/DragonForce-My_Spirit_Will_Go_On.mp3) could! ;) :p

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Unfortunately, at some point a swindler named Elrond turned up and swindled them all

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, he gave all the money to charity!

[Gil-Galad]

Unfortunately that charity was title "Bad guys annoymus and Quilting Club"

[Tuor of Gondolin]

Fortunately, "Bad guys annoymus and Quilting Club" was
a front for the "Gondorian Retirement Home for medical staff
who do run on a bit about esoteric lore."

[Glirdan]

Unfortunately, that was also a front for Sauron's new TV show, "Evil Eye for the Evil Guy": a new homemakeover show.

[Parmawen]

Fortunately TLC cancelled "Evil Eye for the Evil Guy" so they could show rerun episodes of "Middle-Earth's Next Top Elf" and Sauron was left without a job.

[The 1,000 Reader]

Unfortunately, he got a show on Fox, thus resulting in poor television.

[Eonwe]

Foruntelym Forutunately/Unfortunately rocketed to the top of the charts, were it belonged!

And Tulkas was in there somewhere at the party too!

[Glirdan]

Unfortunately, Tulkas got so drunk that he ended up falling off a cliff.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, he fell off Cliff Richard. No one knows why he was climbing on top of him anyway.

[Mudshark]

Unfortunately, Cliff Richard was standing over a fiery abyss, and when Tulkas fell off Cliff, he fell into said abyss.

[Eonwe]

Didn't matter. He's Tulkas.

:D

[The 1,000 Reader]

Unfortunately, being an aniur doesn't make you invincible, so Tulkas was horribly burned, though through determination and will power he climbed out alive.

[Eonwe]

Fortunately, his heroic efforts inspired everyone to do their best in keeping this thread revived!

And as a side benefit, Melkor desided to be good, after seeing Tulkas' heroic deads.

[The 1,000 Reader]

Unfortunately, Morgoth messed up terribly and caused the first world war of Middle-Earth.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, the war was between two ants.

[Tuor of Gondolin]

Unfortunately the ants were survivors of the
classic '50s movie THEM! and they caused
so much havoc Tulkas was sent to remove them
before his plastic surgery was completed at VGH
(Valinor General Hospital).

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, no one noticed any difference in Tulkas. The plastic surgeon was a dotard who operated on the wrong person, he merely gave Tulkas wider eyebrows.

[Tuor of Gondolin]

Unfortunately for the giant ants, Tulkas's
new eyebrows proved effective in
squishing the ants between them.

[Meneltarmacil]

Fortunately, this saved Middle-Earth.

[Nogrod]

Unfortunately it didn't save its inhabitants...

[Glirdan]

Fortunately, the inhabitants were whisked away to Numenor...again...

[The 1,000 Reader]

Unfortunately, Numenor was deep underwater, and nobody had gills.

[Tuor of Gondolin]

Fortunately, just as the inhabitants couldn't
hold their breaths any longer Tulkas came
along and relifted the island up using his
massive eyebrows.

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately, Tulkas's head exploded.

[Tuor of Gondolin]

Fortunately Tulkas's eyebrow mites, with the
help of Ned and the nanites (see MST 3000)
http://popculture.incompetech.com/robots/nanites.html
were able to protect and restore Tulkas.

[The 1,000 Reader]

Unfortunately, at that time, Numenor had already fallen back into the ocean.

[Meneltarmacil]

Fortunately, its inhabitants had evacuated by that time.

[Tuor of Gondolin]

And unfortunately for those seeking the
annihilation of the remnants of Numenoreans,
some of the hobbrim (see the learned thread
"Of the Origins of Hobbits", by Celuien) helped
the inhabitants to the shores of southern Gondor
(a disputed land :eek: ).

[Gil-Galad]

Fortunately the Hobbrim did not know where South Gondor was (disputed land) :eek: and thus they ended up in a nice peaceful place that was nowhere near South Gondor (Disputed Land) :eek:

[Boromir88]

Unfortunately the Hobbrim got tired of peace and they broke out in riots and moshpits.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, lunchtime came around and they all forgot their differences.

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Unfortunately for some reason the hobbrim were
addicted to eating raw fish, which they couldn't
find in at their buffet lunch, so they decided to
look under some tall mountains they saw in the far
distance for nice fresh fishies.

[Maeggaladiel]

Fortunately, there was a sushi bar at the foot of the mountain, fulfillling all their raw fish needs.

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Unfortunately there was a shortage of raw
fish at the bar because the goblin traders were, for some
unknown reason, afraid to go to the best
source of them---an underground lake deep
under the mountains.

[The 1,000 Reader]

Fortunately, a hobbit strike team went in to get the fish.

[Boromir88]

Unfortunately the Hobbit Strike team took their name literally and went ON strike.

[Glirdan]

Fortunately, (this really should be unfortunately) this kept half the Shire's popluation busy which gave Arwen the chance to knock out Glorfindel, hide him in a bush and steal his horse.

[Valesse]

Unfortunately, as Glorfindel was a much better rider than Arwen, when she retrieved a particular hobbit suffering from a severe case of squawking-and-walking there were many rough, unplanned landings on his part.

[The 1,000 Reader]

Fortunately, he didn't die.

[Boromir88]

Unfortunately he suffered from whiplash that was beyond Elrond's healing.

[The 1,000 Reader]

Fortunately, there was a way.

[Gil-Galad]

Fortuantely it wasn't beyond Johnny the Stinky Balrog's

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortuantely it wasn't beyond Johnny the Stinky Balrog's

Unfortunately, Johnny was being chased by all the soap and cleaning companies what wanted to use him for their experiments.

[Glirdan]

Fortunately, his stink knocked them out cold.

[Boromir88]

Unfortunately they soon caught on and wore anti-stink repellant bubblewrap suits.

[Tuor of Gondolin]

And fortunately XenaArwen tossed Johhny in
the Bruinen because he was, like, you know,
really gross, where Johnny was saved by some
guys wearing black clothes and made an
honorary nazgul.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Unfortunately, Johnny then went on a killing spree.

[Tuor of Gondolin]

Fortunately, since Johnny was only an honorary
nazgul, he could only participate in hononary killings,
so Middle-earth people and creatures were safe.

[The 1,000 Reader]

Unfortunately, the people of Middle-Earth were worried and sent a hitman, Gandalf. Despite his response of "What? No!" he was sent to kill Johnny regardless.

[Tuor of Gondolin]

Fortunately for Johnny, Gandalf was more interested
in pesuading a certain bandleader/wizard to let his star
singer (a Rivendell elf who was Gandalf's godson,
a very important, religious relationship for the istari) out of his
contract so he could be in a war movie, so Gandalf
rode his horse to the bandleader's office in Orthanc.

(This also explains the animosity of horselover Saruman
to Gandalf the Grey).

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Unfortunately, everybody forgot all that had happend the last 3 months, as they realised that Rune had returned to BD!

[Farael]

Fortunately the fellowship passed by and tossed Rune a welcome party!!

Welcome Rune =D