Fortunately/Unfortunately

[The Elf-warrior]

Fortunately Legolas was there and killed the dragon with his bow and arrow.

[Kath]

Unfortunately (or is it fortunately) as the dragon keeled over it landed on top of Legolas and squashed him flat with absolutely NO chance of ANY kind of resurrection.

[The Elf-warrior]

Fortunately for King Thranduil Gimli paid the funeral and burial expenses.

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately, Thranduil found Gimli's story about a dragon in the Glittering Caves a little unbelievable, figured that Gimli must have killed Legolas, and threw the dwarf in the dungeon.

[Parmawen]

Fortunately, Bilbo Baggins reappeared from the Undying Lands with the Ring and some keys and could thus set Gimli free and roll him down the river in a barrel.

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately, this brought the One Ring back into the storyline again and caused the Nazgul to chase after Bilbo.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, the Nazgul were now only 2 inches tall.

[Saurreg]

Unfortunately size doesn't matter...

[Kath]

Fortunately it's what you do with it that counts and the Nazgul were so dispriented by their sudden height change that they fled.

[the guy who be short]

Unfortunately, they fled right after Ol' Bilbo, who was too old to run away.

[Kath]

Fortunately as they were still only 2 inches tall they couldn't really do much damage.

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately, Bilbo was now in Mirkwood surrounded by giant spiders... and had forgotten to get Sting back from Frodo.

[Orominuialwen]

Fortunately, it was all a terrible dream induced by too much ale the night before and he woke up.

[the guy who be short]

Unfortunately, he had slept funny and now had a rather painful back. Middle-Earth was still not developed enough for chiropa... back-fixing-people.

[Kath]

Fortunately he fell down a hill and his back got popped back into place, thus getting rid of any need for hobbits to invent chiropractors.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Unfortunately, he found that he was in Hobbiton and being attacked by the Sack-vill Bagginses.

[Celuien]

Fortunately, he still had the Ring, so he slipped it on and disappeared.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Unfortunately, the sun was out so they could still see his shadow.

[Kath]

Fortunately they were distracted by a cart carrying a large crate of spoons.

[the guy who be short]

Unfortunately the spoons were made of tin, so they were uninterested and turned back to attacking Bilbo. Additionally, they now had spoons to attack him with! :eek:

[Kath]

Fortunately that mind bending guy suddenly appeared and bent all the spoons so they could no longer fight.

[Amanaduial the archer]

Unfortunately, the mind-bending-spoon guy developed such a following in Middle Earth after that, that Tolkien suddenly found himself quite stuck for extras in his books....

[Alcarillo]

Fortunately, the spoon-bending guy was just a fad and everybody soon became bored of bent spoons.

[The Elf-warrior]

Unfortunately Uri Geller (The spoon-bending guy.) was working for the villainous Blue Wizards.

[Gil-Galad]

Fortunately The Tick came by and took all the spoons for his battle-Cry (SPOOOON!)

[Kath]

Unfortunately the Blue Wizards had the opposing and deadly battle-cry of 'SPOOOOOOOOOOONGUAAAAAAARRRRD'!

[The Elf-warrior]

Fortunately Gandalf was around to oppose the Tick and the Blue Wizards.

[Gurthang]

Unfortunately, blue is a prettier color than white, so the Tick and the Blue Wizards had the upper hand.

[Holbytlass]

Fortunately, the Blue wizards got Lyme disease from the Tick.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Unfortunately, some Balrogs who were bored came to stir up trouble.

[Kath]

Fortunately there was a sudden inrush of BDers to find out whether Balrog's really had wings or not and so they were crushed in the melee.

[Gurthang]

Unfortunately, the Balrogs were destroyed so quickly that none of the BDers saw if they had wings or not. :mad: :D

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, Tom Bombadill showed up to make sure the Downers werent too disheartened by the loss of one ever sought after answer, and so they chased him over the Barrow Downs for a while.

[Boromir88]

Unfortunately, Tom Bombadil's constant singing drove BDers to start questioning their sanity...

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, this was nothing new.

[Celuien]

Unfortunately, TB's singing really did drive the Downers to insanity this time and they were all locked in padded cells, along with Bilbo.

[Orominuialwen]

Fortunately, they were all allowed internet access, and so could still come here, despite their insanity. (Or perhaps because of it! :D)

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Unfortunately, as this was going on, the Nazgul caught up with Frodo and were chasing him down the road.

[wilwarin538]

Fortunately right after Frodo passed the light turned red.

[The Elf-warrior]

Unfortunately the Nazgul believe red lights are only for free folk.

[Meneltarmacil]

Fortunately, they were run over by a large truck.

[The Elf-warrior]

Unfortunately the truckdriver was working for the Blue Wizards.

[Meneltarmacil]

Fortunately, he was not very smart and drove right into a hillside.

[THE Ka]

Unfortunately, the hill was quiet hungry and shocked at the rudeness of this truck and swallowed it whole without a single thought of what it might be... Then it belched and excused itself.


~ Creative, alas Ka

[The Elf-warrior]

Fortunately that truck was loaded with Orcs, Olga-Hai and evil Men who are now all dead.

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately, the Blue Wizards turned Frodo into a spotted toad.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, a crazy and confused orange wizard came by and returned Frodo to normal and turned the blue wizards into daffodils.

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately, the orange wizard was evil and took the Ring.

[Kath]

Fortunately he was so crazy and confused that he turned the Ring into speck of dust and lost it.

[The Elf-warrior]

Unfortunately the Ring didn't stay a speck of dust and Alatar picked it up and immediately killed Pallando.

[Meneltarmacil]

Fortunately, they were both daffodils at this point and couldn't do much.

[The Elf-warrior]

Unfortunately Alatar's lieutenant turned him back into Wizard form.

[Meneltarmacil]

Fortunately, the confused orange wizard had by this time turned himself into an Oliphaunt and stepped on him.

[The Elf-warrior]

Unfortunately the Orange Wizard was Radagast after he was demoted for failing during the War of the Ring.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, by an incredible coincidence, the Ring had inadvertently turned back into a ring and was now in the hands of Frodo. Radagast was, meanwhile, searching for some birds to help him get his brown cloak back.

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately, Radagast was still very confused and inadvertently caused Frodo to be lauched fifty feet into the air.

[Kath]

Fortunately Frodo landed on Sam.

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately, Frodo had dropped the Ring whilst being launched.

[Gil-Galad]

Fortunately the ring was a fake...

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately, Bob the Troll had stolen the real one.

[Kath]

Fortunately Bob the Troll was pretty dense and didn't know he had the all powerful Ring, he just thought it was an earring.

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately, when Bob the Troll put it through his ear, he turned invisible, got really confused as to why nobody noticed him, and then took out his club and started smashing everything in sight.

[Orominuialwen]

Fortunately, the club broke before he could smash anything that was out of sight.

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately, Frodo was in sight.

[Gil-Galad]

fortunately Meneltarmacil came under parilysis and les other people post for unfortunately

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Unfortunately, the Witch King appeared on the horizon.

[Meneltarmacil]

Fortunately, Meneltarmacil was cured of paralysis and dropped a safe on the Witch King.

[Kath]

Unfortunately the Witch King had a very hard head so no damage was done.

[wilwarin538]

Fortunately damage was done to the safe, so it bursted into pieces, letting its treasures spill out.

[The Only Real Estel]

Unfortunately, a rather large treasure hit the troll in the ear, got caught in the Ring & ripped the Ring right from his ear. The Ring now lay right beside the Witch-King.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, the Witch King couldn't move, as he'd put too much treasure in his pockets!

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately for everyone else posting here, Meneltarmacil stole the Ring.

[The Only Real Estel]

Fortunatley, we put you back into parilysis for no real reason and the Ring was taken from you.

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately, it was stolen by the Witch King.

[Kath]

Fortunately the Witch King had been standing on quicksand and the weight of the Ring combined with all the treasure meant that he was now quickly sinking.

[wilwarin538]

Unfortunately Wesley from Princess Bride came and rescued him mistaking him for Buttercup.

[Meneltarmacil]

Fortunately, a Rodent Of Unusual Size dragged him off before he could pull the Witch King out.

[THE Ka]

Unfortunately, as there always is, a vine hung over the witch-king's head giving him a clear get away swinging like Tarzan, and the ring, his Jane.


~ That was too much fun Ka

[Holbytlass]

Fortunately, the witchking was related to George of the Jungle and slammed into a tree.

[Gil-Galad]

UnFortunately it was a distant cousin so the W-K only clipped his side

[Meneltarmacil]

Fortunately, the vine broke and dropped him into a river.

[Kath]

Unfortunately his armour doubled up as a lifeboat and he floated off safely.

[Meneltarmacil]

Fortunately, Arwen did NOT kiss him and thus he didn't wake up.

[High King Fingolfin]

Unfortunately, his Fell Beast kissed him and he woke up.

[wilwarin538]

Fortunately he smelled the Foul Beast's foul breath and died instantly.

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately, he was already dead so this was not possible.

[The Elf-warrior]

Fortunately this meant that the Barrow-wight who imprisoned the Hobbits was dead too for the Barrow-wight impersonated the Witch King after the real Witch-King was killed by Eowyn on the Pellenor Fields.

[Orominuialwen]

Unfortunately, with the death of the Barrow-Wight, this site was closed. :(

[The Elf-warrior]

Fortunately the Barrow-wight who runs this forum is a different one.

[THE Ka]

Unfortunately, the 'different' Barrow Wight had no clue at all what this game was and promply declared that the ring (wherever it was) was in the paws of a old, cranky rabbit.


~ Twists Ka

[Holbytlass]

Fortunately, Sam was around with his pots and knew what to do with that old, cranky rabbit!

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately, it was the killer rabbit from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

[Kath]

Fortunately the killer rabbit could still be killed with a good whack on the head from one of Sam's pots.

[High King Fingolfin]

Unfortunately, Sam missed with his pots, and accidentaly whacked himself on the foot, stubbing his toe.

[Gil-Galad]

Fortunately he fell on the rabbit, and the crazed-rodent was no more

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately, King Arthur had already thrown the Holy Hand Grenade and it hit Sam.

[THE Ka]

Fortunately, the rabbit woke up due to the weapon, dragging Sam along with it as it ran down into WonderLand, leaving the explosion behind.

~ Ka

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately, the real estate companies had bulldozed Wonderland and put up a bunch of apartment buildings there.

[Parmawen]

Fortunately (for Sam) Sauron was late in paying his rent to the landlord of those apartments, and found himself kicked to the curb, where he was trampled by the rabbit, Sam, and Holy Hand Grenade.

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately, Sauron regained the Ring in the confusion.

[The Elf-warrior]

Fortunately Sauron was much weaker now in the year 200 of the Fourth Age.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Unfortunatly, the ring made him stronger!

[Kath]

Fortunately it made him too strong and when he tried to pull it off he pulled his finger off as well!

[Gurthang]

Unfortunately, he dropped his finger, which was invisible because of the Ring, so no one at all could find the Ring! (Meaning goods guys no see to destroy!)

[Nimrodel_9]

Fortunatley the landlord (who can see invisible objects of course) found the Ring and Sam's finger and returned them to Sam.

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately, 500 Agent Smith clones showed up.

[The Elf-warrior]

Fortunately Gandalf showed up.

[Kath]

Unfortunately poor Sam was so confused at having been given the Ring and Sauron's apparently renamed finger that he exploded, killing Gandalf.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately killing the smiths also.

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately, Godzilla ate Frodo before he could get the Ring back.

[wilwarin538]

Fortunately Godzilla was on top of the Empire State Building, he suddonly got a horrible fear of hights and threw up, letting Frodo out completely unharmed. :D :rolleyes: :o

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Unfortunately, Frodo was now falling down a long, long way!

[Meneltarmacil]

Fortunately, he had a parachute.

[Kath]

Unfortunately it had a hole in it.

[Gil-Galad]

Fortunately it wasn't a big enough hole, so he landed in a tree

[wilwarin538]

Unfortunately that tree was the Womping Willow from Harry Potter.

[Gil-Galad]

Fortunately, harry Potter didn't and will never exist in Middle Earth

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately, the universe imploded.

[Kath]

Fortunately it rematerialised exactly as it had been so fast that no-one realised.

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately, the Ring was now in the hands of a bunch of evil monkeys.

[Nimrodel_9]

Fortunately the evil monkeys did not have hands, that is just a phrase type thing. :D

[Gurthang]

Unfortunately, the wicked witch they were working for did have hands.

[Nimrodel_9]

Fortunately she did not have eyes and could not see the Ring.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Unfortunately, Sauron had an eye for the ring! ;)

[Kath]

Fortunately the wicked witch had just accidentally poked it out with her knitting needles.

[The Elf-warrior]

Unfortunately Sauron scorched the Wicked Witch to death.

[Meneltarmacil]

Fortunately, a large gorilla snatched the ring before Sauron could get it.

[wilwarin538]

Unfortunately that large gorilla was an evil large gorilla.

[THE Ka]

Fortunately, Sauron and the Wicked Witch decided to settle their differences and went after the gorilla, who was toasted along with his little dog too.


~ Ka

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately, this meant that they now had the Ring.

[wilwarin538]

Fortunately the Wicked Witch is a talented actress, so she was only pretending to be on Sauron's side.

[The Elf-warrior]

Unfortunately she was still wicked.

[Meneltarmacil]

Fortunately, she and Sauron were so busy fighting that they both lost track of the Ring.

[The Elf-warrior]

Unfortunately the Ring landed in the hands of the heartless Tin Man.

[wilwarin538]

Fortunetaly the Brainless Scarecrow tripped and landed on top of the Tin Man, sending the ring flying.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Unfortunately, Shelob came and took the ring. With the power the Ring gave her, she destroyed all these Wizard of Oz creatures and told Rodger Waters to stop playing The Dark side of the Moon!

[The Elf-warrior]

Fortunately few of the Free Peoples wanted to hear the Dark Side of the Moon anyway.

[High King Fingolfin]

Unfortunately, Shelob was now poised to take over the world because she had the ring.

[wilwarin538]

Fortunately she chocked to death at her I-took-over-the-world feast.

[Kath]

Unfortunately she choked on the Ring so it was now inside her stomach.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, Sam came along and cut Shelob up and the Ring fell out!

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately, Sam claimed the Ring for himself and stole all the taters in the entire world! MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

[Gurthang]

Fortunately, he got so fat from all those taters that the Ring wouldn't fit on his finger anymore.

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately, as mentioned elsewhere on this forum, the Ring could and did change size to fit its bearer.

[THE Ka]

Fortunately, the ring was self-concious and said: "I'm soooo fat! And it's all your fault!" and upon those words, it rolled off into the nearest salon/psychiatrist office to work its feelings out, and purchase a new pair of nails with little eye balls and rose buds on them. Oh! Don't they look so pretty?


~ Ka

[Gil-Galad]

Unfortunately it fell down a Sink Pipe...

[Meneltarmacil]

Fortunately, the Sink Pipe led directly to Mount Doom.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Unfortunately, there were some Orcs inspecting the drains in Mount Doom at that time.

[Nimrodel_9]

Fortunately with the Ring's new garb, they didn't recognize it.

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately, the Witch King was visiting at the time and he did recognize it.

[The Only Real Estel]

Fortunately, in its new garb the Ring was not particularly alluring, so the Witch-King decided to heck with it & left it alone.

[Kath]

Unfortunately the Ring did not want to be left and it stowed away in the Witch King's cloak.

[Memory of Trees]

Fortunately, there was a small, ring-sized hole in the Witch's cloak...

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately, it fell through and landed right in Gollum's hands.

[Kath]

Fortunately Gollum was still running his 'taters' restaurant (see Crazy Captions) and threw it in the fryer.

[Orominuialwen]

Unfortunately, this did absolutely no harm to the ring, it being just as impervious to hot vegetable oil as fire.

[Memory of Trees]

Fortunately, Frodo decided to stop by Gollum's shop for a bite to eat.

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately, it started raining cats and dogs... literally, not figuratively.

[WaynetheGoblin]

fortunately gollum had umbrellas that were cat and dog proof.

[WaynetheGoblin]

unfortunately they hade holes in them.

[Gurthang]

Fortunately, they were inside the cafe, so the falling felines and diving dogs didn't matter.

[Kath]

Unfortunately by this time Gollum had noticed the Ring and was sneaking off with it.

[WaynetheGoblin]

fortunatly gollum was so happy that he accadently when dancing therw the ring back to frodo.

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately, at this point they had wandered outside the shop and one of the falling dogs hit Frodo on the head.

[Kath]

Fortunately Frodo has a very hard head so no damage was done.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Unfortunately, the dog sued Frodo.

[High King Fingolfin]

Fortunately, Frodo had a very good lawyer, and won the case.

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately, it turned out that the dog was actually the alien-eating dog from earlier in the thread. (It just keeps coming back...)

[Nimrodel_9]

Fortunately Frodo's lawyer (I almost typed liar :p) attacked the dog and Frodo escaped.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Unfortunately, Melkor was in another courtroom fighting his case for release from the void and saw Frodo. After Sauron had sent him 50,000 postcards from Mordor Melkor, of course, knew that Frodo had the ring, and so gave chase!

[Gil-Galad]

Fortunately he ran into the glass elevator

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Unfortunately, it was out of order.

[Folwren]

Fortunately, because of the glass doors and walls, Melkor didn't realize it was closed and knocked himself out by running into it so hard.

[WaynetheGoblin]

Unfortunatly a man spilled is water on him.

[THE Ka]

Fortunately, the man did it on accident, Melkor woke up with no hard feelings and they began to discuss what it would be like to be an ugly duckling, the man actually helping by keeping Melkor from thinking about much else...


~ Yes, this is not so funny Ka

[Gurthang]

Unfortunately, the man was really Saruman (Who has probably died numerous times already in this thread, but has been reincarenated just as many times! :D ), who was learning an awful lot of dark things to do to Middle-Earth!

[Gil-Galad]

Fortunately the darkest thing was how to negate Pepto Bismal when he cooked dinner

[WaynetheGoblin]

Unfourtunatly he gave sarouman a book called HOW TO RULE MIDDEL EARTH AND AVOID ALL PROBLEMS.

[Meneltarmacil]

Fortunately, their heads suddenly exploded for absolutely no reason.

[Nimrodel_9]

Unfortunately the book fell into Gollum's hands.

[Meneltarmacil]

Fortunately, it was written in Ancient Greek, which Gollum couldn't understand.

[Folwren]

Unfortunately on one of the back pages was the ISBN of the same book in the Common Tongue.

[WaynetheGoblin]

Fourtunately gollums head exploded to.

[Gurthang]

Unfortunately, Frodo was still eating and had no idea that all this was going on!

[Gil-Galad]

Fortunately Frodo called for his check and headed off down the road dancing like childeren of the night

[The Elf-warrior]

Unfortunately he was killed by an Orc in Alatar's "Hour of the liberation of Middle-Earth's disenfranchised peoples." Translation: "The start of my war for world domination."

[Parmawen]

Fortunately, the ring had escaped when Gollum's head exploded and had cleverly rolled underneath Frodo's body and ended up being buried with him in a lovely cemetary with a little white, hobbit-sized headstone.

[The Only Real Estel]

Unfortunately it was not Frodo whom the orc had killed. So now the Ring was buried with a random hobbit...not to mention the little white, hobbit-sized headstone being completely inaccurate. :p

[The Elf-warrior]

Fortunately the Shire was saved by Rangers with blunderbusses.

[Gurthang]

Unfortunately, Frodo saw his own headstone and couldn't decide if he was really dead or not! (He'd had some bad meat loaf at Gollum's place, so he was not in a good state!)

[Gelmir]

Fotunately, on the head stone, because of the meat loaf it actually said Gogo Bug-ins

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Unfortunately, Frodo was already tightening the nose around his neck and ready to commit suicide! :eek:

[Gelmir]

Fortunately, as frodo fell down after lack of oxygen off he landed on a crash mat and gained sanity.

[Orominuialwen]

Unfortunately, although he was once again sane, Frodo temporarily lost conciousness.

[Gelmir]

Fortunately he fell in to a pile of smelling salts and gained conciousness.

[Gurthang]

Unfortunately, by some weird defiance of physics, neither the crash mat nor the smelling salt had stopped Frodo's descent, so he was still falling.

[solarisa]

!!! smelly-acid-killer-greenish-sludge came down, and frodo died so FORTUNATELY there's one less annoying character to worry about

...yet UNFORTUNATELY this has gone totally off topic...

[Folwren]

I'll count that last thing as an UNFORTUNATELY, so that I can write a fortunately.

Fortunately, Sam didn't think Frodo was an annoying character, so he caught him at the bottom of the descent that he was falling and revived him back to life using CPR, I guess.

[Gil-Galad]

Unfortuantely Sam thought CPR was sacrificing himself to bring somebody else back, so sam died, and to save money on ale, Frodo bought a cheap coffin and through him in the bog

[Parmawen]

Fortunately for Frodo, the ale market was booming and therefore had very low prices, so he was able to walk through the mucky bog and have a nice burial for Sam while getting a lifetime's supply of ale.

[Kath]

Unfortunately Sam was not actually dead having realised what CPR really was and after crawling out of his grave he sued Frodo.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, Melkor had blown up all the court after he lost his case.

[Kath]

Unfortunately military courts of law were still available and were far nastier than the normal ones.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, Sam did not know of these.

[Holbytlass]

Unfortunately, Sam couldn't sue Frodo because of the Good Samaritan law.

[The Elf-warrior]

Fortunately, Alatar's assault on Dale failed.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Unfortunately, this did little to affect what was going on.

[The Elf-warrior]

Fortunately Frodo and Sam forgave each other.

[Gelmir]

Unfotunately, at the same time a anvil 10 times the normal size was falling on them...

[solarisa]

unfortunately legolas appeared out of nowhere and got squishied between the hammer and the hobbits so FORTUNATELY sam and frodo are saved! *hooray :D

[Gelmir]

Unfotunately, it was Falling on them.

[Gurthang]

Fortunately Legolas, who had acted as...

Legolas: "A Diversion!",

...had been squished by the anvil, which meant he was no longer there to endlessly talk about diversions.

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately, Bob the Troll clobbered the Hobbits and prepared to roast them over a fire.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, he got a heart attack before he could light the fire!

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately, he fell on the Hobbits.

[Kath]

Fortunately they woke up just before he landed and managed to roll out of the way.

[Nimrodel_9]

Unfortunately they rolled right into the fire-pit which mysteriously lit by itself.

[Meneltarmacil]

Fortunately, Denethor had previously jumped into the fire pit, putting it out and causing the rather troubled Steward to light on fire.

[Gil-Galad]

Unfortunately he slipped on a Banana peel and fell on the hobbits

[Nimrodel_9]

Fortunately some nearby monkeys had water balloons and began throwing them at the flaming Denethor and hobbits.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Unfortunately, there were not very good at throwing.

[High King Fingolfin]

Fortunately there was somehow a fire hydrant right next to Denethor and the hobbits, which the monkeys wrenched the cap off of. (The fire hydrant, not the hobbits.)

[The Only Real Estel]

Unfortunately, there was no water in the fire hydrant.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, it began to rain.

[Meneltarmacil]

Fortunately, there was a heavy downpour that put the fire out.

[Gelmir]

Unforunately the smoke from the fire combusted and sent them flying to the barrowdowns!

[Meneltarmacil]

Fortunately, they landed on the petty dwarves that were stalking Lalwendë and got rid of them.

[Parmawen]

Unfortunately, the so-called "petty" dwarves turned out to be rather large and angry giants, who were not pleased with being...fallen...on.

[Gurthang]

Fortunately, the hobbits, monkeys, Denethor, and Bob the Troll all landing on the 'petty dwarves' had pushed them into the ground, so the giants were now stuck.

[The Elf-warrior]

Fortunately those Petty Dwarf Giants were being stalked by a team of Rangers who killed the Petty Dwarf Giants with a shower of arrows.

[Gurthang]

Unfortunately, the hobbits, monkeys, Denethor, and Bob the Troll had been standing right in the path of the arrows.

[The Only Real Estel]

Fortunately, the arrows got confused in a maze of cross-posting & quivered, wobbled, then fell harmlessly to the ground. :p

[Gurthang]

Unfortunately, because the arrows had killed the Petty Dwarven Giants(oxy-moron! :D ) in post #980 but had fallen harmlessly to the ground in post #982 everyone was really confused. :confused:

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, after the confusion was over, it turned out that Frodo, the other Hobbits and Gandalf were alive an on the slopes of mount doom. Frodo had the ring in his had. SO Gandalf began nudging Frodo towards the crack of Doom.

[Kath]

Unfortunately Frodo did not like being nudged and so shoved Sting where the sun don't shine (in Gandalf).

[Meneltarmacil]

Fortunately, it was only a hologram of Gandalf.

[The Elf-warrior]

Unfortunately Frodo refused to destroy the Ring.

[Meneltarmacil]

Fortunately, the alien-eating dog suddenly appeared again, bit Frodo's hand holding the Ring off, and jumped into the lava.

[The Elf-warrior]

Unfortunately Frodo and Sam and M@P died for keeps.

[Nimrodel_9]

Fortunately Tolkien decided this story was getting a bit difficult and zapped the entire Fellowship to Amon Hen.

[The Elf-warrior]

Unfortunately the Fellowship were killed by snipers in the service of Alatar.

[Kath]

Fortunately Tolkien reversed this plotline and then killed off Alatar for being such an annoying and repetitive character.

[The Elf-warrior]

Unfortunately Shelob did not find Alatar very tasty.

[Kath]

Fortunately she was hungry and ate him anyway.

[The Elf-warrior]

Unfortunately Shelob died of Alatar poisoning.

[Kath]

Fortunately, this was actually a good thing.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Unfortunately, Shelob began to belch forth black smoke and blinded all the members of the Fellowship.

[Gurthang]

Fortunately, Frodo, after eating at Gollum's Cafe, had a little gas. So the black smoke was blown harmlessly away.

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately, a steamroller ran over him.

[Cailín]

Fortunately, the steamroller was made of chocolate pudding which made it a quite delicious experience