Fortunately/Unfortunately

[Boromir88]

There's an old time game called fortunately/unfortunately that I remember playing back in the day. I decided to let's do one LOTR style. Ok, here's how it goes, someone starts off with a statement, then another makes a fortunate, or unfortunate remark, off that statement. These can be as funny or as serious as one wants....

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For Example:

unfortunately, Aragorn fell off a cliff.

Fortunately, he landed in the water and not on the sharp rocks.

unfortunately, he can't swim

and it just goes on...They can get as whacky or serious as one wants.

_________________________________

So I'll start off....

Fortunately, Gimli finally found something to eat

[malkatoj]

Unfortunately, it was the fish that Gollum was speficically waiting for it to fatten up so he could eat it, and Gollum tried to strangle Gimli.

[Ainaserkewen]

Fortunately, Gimli is stronger then the fish-weakened Gollum.

[AbercrombieOfRohan]

Unfortunately, Gimli was unaware that Gollum grew up next to a nuclear power plant and when attacked actually swelled to the size of the Good-year blimp...

[Elennar Starfire]

Fortunately, blimps are easy to deflate if one knows the proper place to stick them with one of Legolas' arrows.

[The Only Real Estel]

Unfortunately, Gimli had a horrible fight with Legolas last night, and Legolas and his arrows were pouting in a corner.

[THE Ka]

Fortunately, Legolas' arrowheads were made out of stainless steal and did not rust on his flawless mane of elvish egoness...

[HerenIstarion]

Unfortunately, that very morning Legolas was polishing his bow with the "Mirkwood Bow Maintenance Kit" chestnut polish fluid #4, forgot to attach a string, and as a consequence, were unable to shoot at Gimli

[Estelyn Telcontar]

...which was fortunate, since he was supposed to shoot Gollum, not his best friend!

[HerenIstarion]

comments: My mistake, which I'm unable to correct. My previous should have been like this:

Unfortunately, that very morning Legolas was polishing his bow with the "Mirkwood Bow Maintenance Kit" chestnut polish fluid #4, forgot to attach a string, and as a consequence, were unable to shoot at Gollum

Gimli was a typo :) It was Gollum who should have been deflated, right?

Should fortunately/unfortunately run alternately? I suppose yes?

Thing itself (or an essay to clear up the mess I've done myself :)):

Unfortunately, Legolas, who have never used his arrows other than shooting them through his bow, stood stupefied, gaping at Gimli's horrible plight, and it never ocurred to him it was enough to pierce Gollum through the right place with an arrowhead.

[Boromir88]

Should fortunately/unfortunately run alternately? I suppose yes? Yes
and
Gimli was a typo It was Gollum who should have been deflated, right?yes.

But don't worry, it's a straightened out. :)

Fortunately, Faramir was walking by and aimed for the proper place to deflate Gollum.

[Mithalwen]

Unfortunately he forgot did not have anything to piece him with - having just come from net practice with the Ithilien wanderers, he was carrying a cricket bat not a sword.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunatly, Aragorn bowled him a wonderful ball, worthy of Lords cricket ground, and so Faramir could hit it at Gollum with his bat... (Obviously)

[Mithalwen]

Unfortunately Gollum's agility made him a natural wicket keeper and he made an impressive catch...

[Boromir88]

Fortunately, Gollum has clammy hands and is a natural butterfingers and drops the ball

[Mithalwen]

Unfortunately it falls with force on to Gimli's head

[Boromir88]

Fortunately, Gimli has an extremely hard skull, and it doesn't phase him.

[Mithalwen]

Unfortunately Gimli does not have quick reactions and so hasn't seized the window of opportunity opened by Gollum releasing his neck in order to catch the ball...

[Maeggaladiel]

Fortunately, Aragorn DID posses aforementioned quick reaction time and leapt forward.

[Boromir88]

Unfortunately, Legolas was getting jealous no one was mentioning his name in this thread, so he tackled Aragorn.

[Mithalwen]

Fortunately Aragorn had a weight advantage on the elf and so evaded the tackle.

[Kath]

Unfortunately Legolas was still holding his steel-tipped arrow and it went through Aragorns leg as he threw Legolas to the ground.

[the phantom]

Fortunately, Gollum found this so amusing that he couldn't stop laughing long enough to mount a new attack.

[Mithalwen]

Unfortunately Arwen showed up and got the wrong idea about the whole messy situation..

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Fortunately, Aragorn's massive blood loss ensured that there would be no lover's tiff.

[Kath]

Unfortunately during this little interlude Gollum had stopped laughing and had his hands back around Gimli's neck.

[Boromir88]

Fortunately, somehow gollum's precious rolled past and he let go of Gimli and scampered after it.

[Mithalwen]

Unfortunately, he had reckoned without Arwen's hyper sensitive jewellery radar & elven speed. She got there first with her nassty sharp elvishes sword.....

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Fortunately, when she tried to put the Ring on her sword, it didn't fit, saving the group from a messy fate with an invisible sword.

[Kath]

Unfortunately this problem allowed Gollum to get his sticky little fingers back on the precious.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Fortunately, there was a lava flow nearby.

[Neurion]

Fortunately, there was a lava flow nearby.Unfortunately it was stopped up by the body of a preternaturally stupid troll who, in a state of blissful thickness just happened to fall face-first into it at that exact moment.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Fortunately for the troll, he had very thick skin.

[Neurion]

Fortunately for the troll, he had very thick skin.Unfortunately for him (but fortunately for everyone else), it was broad daylight, and he turned to stone instantaneously to the sound of long and loud lamentations (from the troll).

[Boromir88]

Fortunately Faramir was still holding his cricket bat, and whapped Gollum on the side of the head, and the Ring goes flying out of his hands.

[Evisse the Blue]

Unfortunately no one saw where exactly it (the Ring) landed.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Fortunately, Gwihir just happened to fly by and saw it laying in the mud by Legolas' hare.

[Kath]

Unfortunately he was exceptionally hungry and picked up the hare rather than the ring and forgot to tell anyone about it.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunatly, the hare had the ring and Gwihir saw it.

[Mithalwen]

Unfortunately the hare slipped the ring on to it's paw and he disappeared which freaked Gwaihir out so much that he dropped it.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Fortunately, the Ringwraiths arrived right on cue, so there was no chance of the hare (Elmerf?) getting lost.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Unfortunately, Eyowin came and killed the witch-king and so all the Ring-wraths were distracted by her.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Fortunately, Gimli felt the hare land on his head so, despite the little beast being invisible, the Ring's whereabouts were known.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Unfortunately, the hare landed with force on Gimli's hands and broke them, so he could not catch the ring bearing hare.

[Mithalwen]

Fortunately Legolas' hare made a beeline for Legolas.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Unfortunately, Legolas was feeling unwell and fell on top of the hare, thus trapping the ring underneath him. :smokin:

[Mithalwen]

Fortunately Legolas was a lightweight and the hare wasn't squashed...

[Firefoot]

Unfortunately, the hare was so surprised that he dropped the Ring down an inconviently placed prairie dog tunnel.

[Mithalwen]

Fortunately Gimli was stunned enough to let his axe be used as a spade..

[Boromir88]

Unfortunately, Gimli was unaware the hare was actually the vicious rabbit from Monty Python and it went rampage on his dwarf behind.

[THE Ka]

Fortunately, Gimli remembered to wear mithril underwear...

~ ;) Ka

[Mithalwen]

Unfortunately even mithril undies do not give complete protection from crush injuries....

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, a small mole popped out of the hole with the ring on top of his head.

[Elennar Starfire]

Unfortunately for the mole, Gimli's axe (still being used as a spade) was coming down fast.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Fortunately, no craft that we here possess can destroy the One Ring, so it was left untainted by the axe (although it was curtains for that poor unsuspecting mole).

[Firefoot]

Unfortunately, Gollum, who had been standing by, saw the Ring first, darted in, slipped on the Ring, and made his getaway.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Fortunately, the Ringwraiths agreed to help the good guys get the Ring back in exchange for some cake. So the hunt for Gollum was on.

[Mithalwen]

Unfortunately while all this had been going on Merry and Pippin had been quietly scoffing all the cake

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, Merry and Pippin got stoned on pipe weed and couldn't see the cakes properly.

[Kath]

Unfortunately there were only 8 cakes left but there were 9 ring-wraiths - what to do?

[Elennar Starfire]

Fortunately one of the ringwraiths was on a diet.

[Firefoot]

Unfortunately, the Ring Wraiths realize they have been gypped because they can't eat anyway.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Fortunately for the good guys, the wraiths had already handed over the Ring.

[THE Ka]

Unfortunately, Sauron was too busy thinking what to do with the ring and never invented copyright laws, thus to save themselves the ringwraiths always carried extras...

~ Copyrighted Ka

[Boromir88]

Fortunately Gimli injected each fell beast with a tranquilizer dart and the ringwraiths couldn't get away.

P.S. These threads are ment to go on for...ever, however, if one would like a scenario change by all means go ahead. I just don't want multiple threads going at one time.

[The Elf-warrior]

Unfortunately Gimli wouldn't give up the true One Ring.

[Meneltarmacil]

Fortunately, a cow randomly fell on Gimli's head and squished him.

[Tuor of Gondolin]

Joining in, since I've read the book "Fortunately" to grades 1-4 in a library,
and it's universally liked. :)

Unfortunately, the ring flew into the air and landed on one
of the cow's horns, causing the cow and ring to vanish from sight.

[The Elf-warrior]

Fortunately the cow left hoof prints thus showing Legolas where to shoot.

[Firefoot]

Unfortunately, Legolas has (*gasp*) run out of arrows.

[Neurion]

Unfortunately, Legolas has (*gasp*) run out of arrows.Fortunately, Pippin was standing by, and so noticing the long and awful-looking point on his barbutt Legolas seized the sturdy Hobbit without a moment's hesitation and swiftly nocking his makeshift (and recalcitrant) dart, shot him from his bow in the general direction of the unfortunate bovine whose life would be so tragically and shortly cut off totally unbeknownst to it.

[Tuor of Gondolin]

Unfortunately, a hungry Great Eagle was flying by and as the
unfortunate bovine reappeared scooped the cow into the air.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

...fortunately, though, the Eagle was not at all interested in the One Ring. It went off to munch on the cow, leaving the Ring hanging precariously over The Two Towers movie's famous Aragorn cliff.

[Evisse the Blue]

Unfortunately at that exact moment a heavy wind brought from the Caradhras by infamous spells started blowing.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Fortunately the Ring was extremely heavy and the wind didn't affect it.

[Neurion]

Fortunately the Ring was extremely heavy and the wind didn't affect it.Unfortunately the unending activity of an inauspicious earthworm dislodged it from its precarious perch and sent it hurtling towards the water below.

[Mithalwen]

Unfortunately landslips do..

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Unfortunately the unending activity of an inauspicious earthworm dislodged it from its precarious perch and sent it hurtling towards the water below.

Fortunately, a sword fish caught it on it's nose and swam down river.

[the phantom]

Unfortunately, the swordfish died since it could only live in salt water.

[Boromir88]

Fortunately (for Gollum) the ringwraiths were unhappy about their fell beasts being tranquilized and moved in for the attack on Aragorn and co. Leaving Gollum the perfect oppurtunity to jump in the lake after the ring.

[the phantom]

Unfortunately, the watcher in the water (from the gates of Moria) was in the lake.

[THE Ka]

Fortunately, unbeknownced to most, the Watcher in the Water lives only on a strict diet of photoplankton (the kind only found in fresh water, zooloplankton live in salt water) AND deranged hobbits with mange...

[Tuor of Gondolin]

Unfortunately, Ulmo was passing by at that moment and sneezed (being allergic to Watchers in the Water), which sent the ring spinning thousands of feet up into the air.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Where it was Fortunately caught on the nose of a passing Boeing 747.

[AbercrombieOfRohan]

Unfortunately, the pilot who had just seen the first episode of Lost, sent the plane spiraling downwards onto an unknown Pacific island...

[Tuor of Gondolin]

Fortunately, after the plane crashed, the ring
came into the possession of one of the passengers, who
warned the survivors that he had an unexplained
presentiment that it would be dangerous to wear the
ring---that some way must be found to destroy
it (this after some considerable, ah, burping,
after ingesting a great quantity of bananas).

[the phantom]

Unfortunately, Mount Doom was well out of throwing range (actually, not even in the same world as the Pacific Ocean), so their resolve to destroy the Ring was utterly meaningless.

[Oddwen]

Fortunately, the TV network saw great potential for a new show, so "Meanwhile, While Mt. Doom Burns" was soon on the air.

[Kath]

Unfortunately the show was becoming more and more violent as the ring caused strife between the survivors.

[Esgallhugwen]

Fortunately, that boosted up the ratings and the Fellowship were able to catch an episode on a palantir (because they only show the finest albeit most violent programming). So they set off to get the Ring back.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Unfortunately, our world (jet airplanes et al) and the fantasy world of Middle-earth completely separated just as mysteriously as they had merged. The One Ring was assigned a new position in space by a rather embarrassed Eru, and the Fellowship, Ringwraiths and Gollum were all utterly confused and bewildered by the loss of the Ring. Sauron wasn't too chuffed either.

[Maeggaladiel]

Fortunately, Sam had packed a spare for just this sort of occasion.

[THE Ka]

Unfortunately, Galadriel had just leased it out to him, and was missing it terribly so she traded it for a box of dirt (Not just ANY dirt mind you, elven dirt!!!)

~ http://stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/ford/sydnicons/Happy.gif Ka

[Tuor of Gondolin]

And fortunately Sam, being a brilliant gardener, was
able to use mulch, manure, etc. to make a mountain
of semi-elvish dirt from the little bit of magic soil
he got from Galadriel in return for the ring.
Thereby amassing a huge fortune
(Rosie being a brilliant entrepreneur,
opening a chain of SamRos Supersoil Stores).

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Unfortunately, the company went into liquidation after Sam was seen dancing insanely after drinking some of the Gaffer's home brew and sam had to sell the ring off.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Fortunately the Kay Jewelers rep. who bought it ran into Gandalf at the pub the next town over and was advised to "Give that here. Now."

[Firefoot]

Unfortunately, the jeweler had already been quite corrupted by the Ring and after snapping, "It's mine. My precious. I won it from that stupid, fat, drunk hobbit, Precious," he high-tailed it out the back of the pub.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Where he fortunately ran into a grumpy bouncer who asked him suspiciously why he was leaving so soon, why he was leaving so quickly, and what did he have to pay his way out the door.

[Tuor of Gondolin]

Unfortunately, the bouncer thought the jeweler was leaving
with his bill unpaid so he picked the jeweler up and shook him
to get the money, at which the ring rolled out the door and
was scooped up by an S-B using her umbrella!

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Fortunately, Lobelia (unbeknownst to all) was actually more powerful than Sauron, thus the Ring was in the hand of the only one who could resist it.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Unfortunately, she had no idea what it was and threw it into a Hobbit's field.

[Tuor of Gondolin]

Fortunately (for the S-B's) Lotho found it and put it on.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Unfortunately for Middle-earth, Lotho Sackville-Baggins had now become the new Dark Lord.

[The Elf-warrior]

Fortunately this Dark Lord stuff was totally over his head and he got himself killed while trying to burn down Fangorn Forest. (He should have taken Denethor's advice about leaving the dirty work to others.)

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Unfortunately, Huorns really started liking that new-style hobbit brand fertilizer and went on a feeding rampage.

[Tuor of Gondolin]

Fortunately, the hobbits they ah (recycled) were
distant relatives of Gollum's living by the Anduin,
after which they went chasing across the Anduin
after some sexy entwives they saw across the river.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Unfortunately, trees can't swim.

[Tuor of Gondolin]

Fortunately, some Gondorians who were in the process of adding to the back of their houses found lots of material floating down the Anduin for big decks
they were making for putting shrimp on the barbie when King Elassar came to
visit.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Unfortunately, Aragorn had completely lost track of where this thread had gone to and called a general assembly to find out what was happening. :p

[Boromir88]

Fortunately, Aragorn noticed a Gondorian jump in the Anduin yelling "MY Precious!"

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Unfortunately, he assumed that the Gondorian's wife had fallen into the river and jumped in to try and save her.

[Kath]

Fortunately the Gondorian was wearing so much armour that he drowned before he could put the Ring on and Arry got hold of it before it sank to the bottom.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Unfortunately, Aragorn was to weak too handle the Ring, and when confronted by Gimli, he chopped the Dwarf's arm off in a demented fury.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Fortunately, Dwarves always carry a spare.

[Tuor of Gondolin]

And unfortunately for Aragorn, Gimli hurled the now
superfluous arm at him and as it spun towards Aragorn's eye
he instinctively flung his arm up sending the ring flying into a passing ship.

[Evisse the Blue]

Fortunately, the ship was populated with the ghosts of evil Haradrim, who due to their already altered state, were in no need of invisibility rings, not to mention being unable to understand the luring of the Ring because it spoke in the Common language.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

. . . the Ring spoke in the Haradrim tongue, and it tempted them with free doughnuts holes. Which the spectral types loved to eat.

[Kath]

Fortunately the King of the Dead was allergic to the doughnut holes and was lucid enough to give the Ring to Frodo - who just happened to be passing through.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Unfortunately, it was a cruel ruse (Frodo really should have seen it coming). The Haradrim ghosts tied Frodo up on the sails of the ship and sailed off southwards, swiftly, sweetly and succintly, singing sea shanties of a salacious sort.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, they used ghost rope and Frodo passed right thought it and was able to escape with ease.

[Tuor of Gondolin]

Unfortunately, as Frodo escaped he dropped the Ring onto a
passing raft manned by an elf and a dwarf headed out into the ocean sailing west. (the dwarf seeming to poll mightily with his two strong arms
as he muttered to the elf):
"Never trust a Ranger!"

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

. . . Frodo jumped into the raft, and after explaining that he wasn't a Ranger, got the Ring back.

[Evisse the Blue]

Meanwhile they had sailed a considerable distance from the shore, so Frodo found himself trapped on that small raft along with the Elf and the grumpy Dwarf.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, Ulmo saw what was going on and blew the raft back to shore.

[Tuor of Gondolin]

Unfortunately Ulmo was so bamfoozled at seeing an elf, a dwarf,
and a hobbit traveling together that he blew the raft the wrong
way and it ended up beached on the shore of Aman, where an
uncle of Frodo's seemed inordinately happy to see them. (Causing
Legolas to whisper an aside to Gimli, "Why is he so happy to
see us that he's calling us, 'His Precious' ")?

[The Elf-warrior]

Fortunately Gandalf was able to take Frodo back to Middle-Earth with him so he could destroy the Ring.

[Tuor of Gondolin]

Unfortunately Gimli, Legolas, and Bilbo also went back to Middle-earth with Gandalf to stop Frodo from destroying their precious, and they managed to
enlist Merry, Pippin, and Sam in a successful plan to save the Ring from destruction. (getting it while Gandalf and Frodo were sleeping off celebratory drinks at The Prancing Pony). But they quarreled over who would get the ring so
Cirdan talked them into his taking them back to Aman, whereupon, after they safely arrived, Manwe was asked to decide who would get the Ring (after he did agree to an A.B.F. proviso- Anybody But Frodo).

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, Manwe decided Gandalf should take the ring (with Frodo close by), and so he sent his swiftest Eagles with the ring in an envelope to Old Gand, who was still asleep in Bree.

[Kath]

Unfortunately Frodo was awake and ran off with the Ring.

[Evisse the Blue]

Fortunately one of Manwe's Eagles, who had stayed behind because he was sick with indigestion, saw Frodo and decided to raise the alarm.

[Kath]

Unfortunately he was still sick with indigestion and so flew very slowly, by which time Frodo had got himself stuck down a conveniently placed hole and so the eagles couldn't see him.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, Frodo used an unusual spurt of strength and threw the ring towards Mount Doom.

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately, the Ring got hooked on the antlers of a passing moose.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Fortunately, the moose was actually Manwe in disguise.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Unfortunately, he looked into the sun. Now blinded, he stumbled into a ravine.

[ElementFire]

Fortunately, his antlers got caught on the side of the ravine, and he was able to pull himself back up.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Unfortunately, during all the struggling, the Ring fell into the ravine without the moose.

[The Elf-warrior]

Fortunately Manwe turned himself into human form and climbed down the ravine and recovered the Ring.

[Evisse the Blue]

Unfortunately, as soon as Manwe touched the Ring, it started to tempt him with beautiful visions of reigning supreme over Middle Earth and Valinor and getting the rest of the Valar, not to mention the pesky Elves and Wizards out of his way for good.

[Mithalwen]

Fortunately Varda turned up and exercised a wife's privilege to swipe any jewellery in her husband's possession ;)

[Boromir88]

Unfortunately, (for Varda), Manwe had filed for a divorce meaning Varda lost all her jewel swiping priveledges.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, she'd already taken it.

[Mithalwen]

And unfortunately for Manwe he hadn't read the small print in the pre-nup which meant she got the jewellery and his car and golf clubs (just to annoy him) as well as continuing right to reside at Taniquetil... :D

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

. . . Frodo, using a combination of puppy-dog eyes and flattering words, recovers the Ring from Varda.

[Evisse the Blue]

Unfortunately, Frodo was so exhausted by his exhibition of cuteness, that he had to rest for a while and he soon fell asleep, not noticing the shadow that was creeping steadily towards him, his eyes fixed on the Ring.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

. . . the figure (who was later known to be Tulkas) stumbles upon a twig. Frodo hears him, and tries to run away with the Ring.

[Evisse the Blue]

Unfortunately, the Ring, perceiveing Tulkas' majestic appearance and greater wit, seeks to sabotage the inferior Halfling's attempts to escape by becoming a terrible burden to him, thus slowing him down considerably.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Fortunately majesty is a very heavy thing to be clad in (all that gold, you know) and that slowed Tulkas down to a mere noble stride, so Frodo got away any how.

[Boromir88]

Unfortunately Frodo ran right into Gandalf. (It's unfortunate because unbeknowest to Frodo it was actually Saruman disguised as Gandalf).

[Mithalwen]

Fortunately Frodo was running quite fast and given the height difference, Saruman was too distracted by pain to make a grab for the ring ...... :p

[Boromir88]

Unfortunately Grima was around and grabbed the little bugger (meaning Frodo).

[Mithalwen]

Unfortunately he had just been doing Saruman's laundry (getting his whites really bright) and Frodo slipped through his slimy and soapy mitts

[The Elf-warrior]

Unfortunately Ugluk saw this and was hungry.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, there was a buffet table near by and he went there instead.

[Mithalwen]

Unfortunately the buffet was all macrobiotic and vegan which didn't satisfy Ugluk's nutritional requirements....

[Evisse the Blue]

Fortunately (for Frodo), Ugluk remembered he was on a diet anyway, and he needed to stay off fats, and Frodo being just that, he decided after an inner struggle to leave him alone and went to look for something less heavy on the stomach, though casting several wistful glances back.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Unfortunately, an Ent, who was trying to wreck Isenguard, kicked Frodo sky high and he sailed towards the river! :eek:

[arcticstorm]

Fortunately, he landed in a boat that just happened to be drifting in the middle of the river

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Unfortunately, the boat was drifting straight toward Rauros Falls.

[Encaitare]

Fortunately, the boat collided with Dead Boromir's boat; Dead Boromir sat up and said, "Hey! This is my waterfall! Get your own!" and pushed Frodo's boat off towards the shore.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Unfortunately, due to HUGE gaping plot holes and continuity errors, Tolkien had a headache and had to take a nap. And so Frodo was frozen in time for a bit.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Fortunately, due to an ironic heat wave, time melted and Frozen Frodo thawed and escaped.

[Boromir88]

Unfortunately, due to being a frozen icebox for a while, Frodo got a very bad cold.

[THE Ka]

Fortunately, Frodo found some elven nightquil and had some very colourful dreams... of course after sneezing on everything...

~ Take two and call me in the morning Ka

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Unfortunately, he was so distracted he never thought to get out of the boat that was still headed to the falls, despite Boromir's attempts to push it to the shore.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Fortunately the Eagles were coming.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Unfortunately, they were on other business.

[lord of dor-lomin]

Fortunately, their other business was not important.

[Gil-Galad]

Unfortunately, the eagles stopped for take out and had little room left

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, They found a conveniently placed table on which to place the food.

[Meneltarmacil]

Unfortunately, they were hit by a freak meteor shower.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, the meteors were very small and they did not notice them.

[Gil-Galad]

Unfortunately they were radioactive meteors and the food on the table spwaned into giant, zombie-like food

[The Elf-warrior]

Fortunately the food was friendly and rescued Frodo.

[Boromir88]

Unfortunately the eagles were so hungry they ate the zombies anyway, and then left Frodo.

[Elennar Starfire]

Fortunately, the radioactive zombies did not cause the eagles to mutate into something nasty. They mutated instead into flying squirrels.

[Holbytlass]

Unfortunately, they were rabid.

[Lathriel]

Fortunatly the rabid eagles found some unfortunate elves who helped them in recovering their sanity.

[The Elf-warrior]

Unfortunately Frodo lost his grip on a tree root on the bank of the Anduin.

[Boromir88]

Fortunately, there was no current, and all Frodo had to do was stand up and walk back towards the shore.

[The Elf-warrior]

Unfortunately Saruman snatched the One Ring from Frodo.

[Boromir88]

Fortunately Grima was around, and was tired of being a kicked dog, and pushed Saruman into the river.

[The Elf-warrior]

Unfortunately he had taken the Ring before he kicked Saruman in the river.

[Holbytlass]

Fortunately, Eowyn walked by, distracting the lust-filled Grima who dropped the ring.

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Unfortunately, as Gríma stooped down to pick up the ring, Éowyn thought he was proposing to her and took it.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, Grima had a heart attack and Eyowin picked up the one ring.

[Anguirel]

Unfortunately, Eowyn immediately decided to use her new found power to promote feminism by immolating all the males she could find.

[Mithalwen]

Fortunately Faramir walked by and Eowyn thought she would make an exception :P

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Unfortunately, Gollum, who was feeling left out, leaped out of the river onto the distracted Eyowin! :eek:

[Anguirel]

Fortunately, Eomer was trotting about on Firefoot nearby and they galloped dramatically to the rescue down a convenient 91 degree hill.

[Mithalwen]

Unfortuantely this made Firefoot shy and Eomer was catapulted from the saddle.

[Anguirel]

Fortunately he landed on Gollum in mid- throttle.

[Gil-Galad]

Unfortunately the ring escaped from Gollums hand into a catapult ready to be set loose

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, the catapult was poorly maintained and fell apart.

[Mithalwen]

Unfortunately the ring rolled into the river .......

[Kath]

Fortunately Arwen (due to some brain tumour in PJ) caused the river to rise up and the ring fell back onto the land.

[Anguirel]

Unfortunately its brief presence in the water had warped all the ancient race of Rainbow Trout to malice and evil.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, they all fell down the waterfall and died. The ring, on the other hand was now in the position of a passing Huorn.

[Gil-Galad]

Unfortunately, the Huron was eaten up by a Kraken that was sleeping in the Anduin for countless years and decided to try bird just once...

[Nimrodel_9]

Fortunately the Kraken had a weak stomach and spewed the ring on shore.

[The Elf-warrior]

Unfortunately the Witch-king, (Who was really the Barrow-wight.) picked it up.

[Anguirel]

Fortunately he was so confused as to his true identity that he threw it away and shimmered off to found a Tolkien discussion website.

[Holbytlass]

Unfortunatley, Grounds-keeper-Willie found the ring whilst performing his raking of Fangorn duties.

[Gil-Galad]

Fortunately he was mistaken for an Iraqi-fighter jet and was scared off, leaving the ring on a tree stump




(Kudos to that simpson episode)

[The Only Real Estel]

Unfortunately, the tree stump was really a very short, very evil ent who picked up the Ring and began to run.

[Nimrodel_9]

Fortunately the Ent tripped sending the Ring flying through the air.

[The Elf-warrior]

Unfortunately a real Ring-wraith picked it up.

[Meneltarmacil]

Fortunately, the ringwraith was stepped on by a Tyrannosaurus rex.

[Kath]

Unfortunately the T-rex realised it was completely anachronistic and disappeared with a pop, leaving the ringwraith free to take the Ring away.

[wilwarin538]

Fortunately, as the ring-wraith was being crushed by the T-rex Legolas had gotten the chance to tie the Ring-wraiths shoe laces together making the ring-wraith trip.

[The Elf-warrior]

Unfortunately the 7 other Ring-Wraiths (Plus the Barrow-wight masquerading as the Witch-King.) rushed to kill Legolas.

[Gil-Galad]

Fortunately Legolas used his Quiver-of-never-ending-arrows to ward the Ring-Wraiths away

[The Elf-warrior]

Unfortunatey Legolas succumbed to the Black Breath.

[arcticstorm]

Fortunately Aragorn was able to heal him with some Athelas

[The Elf-warrior]

Unfortunately the Nazgul+BW pulled all the arrows out of them and sneaked up on Legolas and Aragorn.

[Anguirel]

Fortunately they were so embarrassed by the rather-other-emphatic-and-physical-affection Legolas and Aragorn seemed to be displaying that they immediately sloped off home en masse.

[Gil-Galad]

Unfortunately they left behind the Ticking Time Bomb of Immediate Destruction and Everything Hurtful

[wilwarin538]

Fortunatly Gimli knew how to disarm it.

[Gil-Galad]

Unfortunately Gimli was on the other side of the mountain dealing with The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch was already disarmed and he hopped along just in time to deal with the Ticking Time Bomb of Immediate Destruction and Everything Hurtful.

[wilwarin538]

Unfortunately, he was to late.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, The Ticking Time Bomb of Immediate Destruction and Everything Hurtful was very small and make a very small explosion that just singed Legolas' hair.

[wilwarin538]

Unfortunatly Legolas went on a rampage of anger at the sight of his singed hair and pushed Gimli into the river.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, Gimli is a damn good swimmer.

[wilwarin538]

Unfortunately he suddenly had a large bowling ball strapped to his leg.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, Gimli is a damn good swimmer.

[wilwarin538]

Unfortunatly he isnt good enough.

[Kath]

Unfortunately that bowling ball is really heavy!

[Anguirel]

Fortunately the bowling ball does not conform to the plot continuum and its unfortunateness counters that everpresent force The Rules, causing it to disappear utterly, leaving Gimli free to show that Dwarves are natural swimmers...

[wilwarin538]

Unfortunately dwarves aren't natural swimmers.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, while everyone was bickering, he had already got out of the water and was looking for the ring.

[Holbytlass]

Unfortunately, Gimli and others saw a craban fly off with the ring.

[Anguirel]

Fortunately, the others included Gwaihir, who gave chase...

[Gil-Galad]

Unfortuantely they stopped when the New season of Family Guy came on

[wilwarin538]

Fortunately none of them like Family Guy so they kept going.

[Holbytlass]

Unfortunately, Gimli hit Legolas' bow as he was attempting to shoot the craban, therfore Gwahir was hit instead!

[Anguirel]

Fortunately the escaping creban was mugged by a hyperactive magpie in Elrond's employ.

[wilwarin538]

Unfortunatly that magpie was so hyperactive he crashed into a tree.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, that tree was Treebeard, and he took the ring.

[wilwarin538]

Unfortunatly Treebeards hands are so big that the ring slid right between his fingers.

[Anguirel]

Fortunately Frodo had finally caught up, and neatly caught it...

[arcticstorm]

unfortunately, he realized when he got the ring, that it was actually just a plastic replica of the one ring that came on a bookmark, and the real one ring, and gollum, were actually together away east somewhere, in Mirkwood.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunately, the wood elves had captured him and taken the ring.

[wilwarin538]

Unfortunatly Gollum got out by hopping in a barrel and floating toward Laketown.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Fortunatly, the elves still had the ring, and were on the way to Mount doom!

[wilwarin538]

Unfortunatly a ring-wraithe diguissed as an elf was the one carrying the ring.

[WaynetheGoblin]

Fortunataly one of Gil's Ticking Time Bomb of Immediate Destruction and Everything Hurtful was strapped to his back.

[Gil-Galad]

Unfortunately Gil-Galad came and caught the ring as the Ring-Wraith headed into Frodo with one of my bombs on his back

[Nimrodel_9]

Fortunately Frodo escaped with only a few minor injuries and came rushing after Gil.

[wilwarin538]

Unfortunately those few minor injuries ended up on the bottom of Frodo's feet so he couldn't rush after Gil without being in horrible pain.