Crazy Captions

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

*Possessive father-figure*

[Gil-Galad]

Theoden: my breath isn't that bad is it?

Rohirrim, Gandalf and Co: no were just standing back here for the view thats it!

[Witch_Queen]

Grima: I didn't mean it that way, Theoden.

Theoden: Grima I will not marry you. Now get away from me.

[Elennar Starfire]

Grima: He's...glowing...

Theoden: Oh for pete's sake, the sun's behind me! Get up and put on sunglasses!

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Gríma: What are you doing?
Théoden: Sit still. There's a fly on your nose.

[The Saucepan Man]

Theoden: For the last time, we don't want double-glazing!

[Esgallhugwen]

Theoden: Who took the cookie from the cookie jar? Was it you? It was you wasn't it? *shakes sword angrily at Wormtongue*

Wormtongue: "Yes, yes it was me!! I couldn't resist the chocolatey goodness.

[The Only Real Estel]

Theoden: "You brought me a meduim anchovie instead of a large pepperoni for the last time..."

[Nimrothiel]

Oh, it's so perfect:

Theoden: "Hello, I am Inego Vatinas (or however you spell it) you killed my father; prepare to die."

[Mariska Greenleaf]

Grima: "Watch out, my Lord, there's a white wizard behind you!"

Theoden: "Ha, did you really think I would fall for that old trick?"

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

*Legolas, seeing the disturbance, prepares to make a daring move on Eowyn.*

[Nimrothiel]

Following up on that one:

Eowyn: "That had better be your sword master elf."

Legolas: *satisfied smirk*

We really should start a petition to get the evil smilie back...

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Théoden: Did you eat Aragorn?!?!

wormtongue: But my lord! I was . . . hungry.

[Elennar Starfire]

Gandy: *thinks* Excellent, Grima! Now while Theoden's distracted I sneak up behind and poke him with my staff!

[Lhunardawen]

Eowyn: *sniff* Someone get me a tissue. This soap opera's too much for me.

[Maeggaladiel]

Theoden discovers that it was Grima who started the horrible "facelift" rumors.

OR

Everyone in the background: FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT....

Gandalf: (from inside) What are you kids doing out there?!

Everyone: Nuh-thiiiiing...

Gandalf: It doesn't SOUND like nothing! Don't make me come back there!

Everyone: We woooon't...

[Nimrodel_9]

Grima: OW! He pushed me! I`m telling! Waahhh!

Theoden: No! Don`t tell on me, please!

[Nimrodel_9]

Alright, here`s a new one. :)



http://www.councilofelrond.com/modules/Captions/images/pip&merry.jpg


Merry: Are you talkin` to ME?!

[Lachwen]

Pippin: Quick, nobody's looking. *subtle hand-off*
Merry: You're sure this is the good stuff?
Pippin: Merry lad, this is pure Elven bud! It'll make Longbottom Leaf seem like shredded paper...

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Merry: See that guy?
Pippin: Yeah. What?
Merry: Some people say he ate Beleriand!
Pippin (thinking): Hmmm . . . competition at last!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Merry: this wax modle of Pippin is great!

[Nimrothiel]

Merry: "Blah, blah, blah, Visa bucks, blah, blah, blah."

[Oddwen]

Merry: "No, seriously, listen..."
"Wired are the eyes of a horse on a jet plane, one that smiled as he flew over the bay."

Pippin: "What's a jet plane?"

Merry: "That, my friend, is my remorse. For the horse..."

Pippin: "Wait, is this the song about that Chinese food?"

Merry: "Stop thinking about food for a moment!"

Pippin: "Okay, what about..."
"Psycho! Groupie! Pipeweed! Crazy! Psycho groupie pipeweed crazy psycho groupie pipe, makes you high, makes you high, makes you really wanna..."

Merry: "Honestly, there's no talking to you sometimes!"

Pippin: "I think me, I want life..."

[Nimrodel_9]

Merry: Why can`t you see it?! That cloud clearly looks like a bunny!

Pippin: No, I still think it`s turtle. Wait...no! It`s changing!

Merry: See! I told you it`s a bunny!

Pippin: No it`s not, it`s a gerbil.

Merry: AAARRRRGGGH!!!

[Lhunardawen]

Merry: Pippin, don't you feel something creeping up your back? *diabolic grin*
Seconds later...
*splash!*

(I'll leave it to your imagination.)

[Fordim Hedgethistle]

Merry: Pip?. . .Pip?. . .Pippin?? What kind of mushroom did you eat, anyway?

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Pippin: I can see the light!

Merry: Erm, its behind you.

[The Perky Ent]

Pippin: *in a whisper* Psst! Merry!
Merry: What?
Pippin: Don't look now, but I think a camera is watching us

[Lily]

Merry: Now Pip u see this.... this will help you live if you fall over board... Pip... you listening!!!?

Pippin: ....... and that's how E=mc2!!! Haha I got- *smack*

[Keeper of Dol Guldur]

"Hey Pip, I'll give you five bucks if you push Galadriel into the river."

[Hookbill the Goomba]

All very lovely!

Here is one I thought was nice;

http://def110pu.web.infoseek.co.jp/blog/archives/photo/lotr3.jpg

Legolas: I'm sorry Aragorn... I did not know it would turn you into a hobbit!

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Legolas: That boy's pet is simply atrocious! Come, dog Aragorn, and show him the proper way.
Aragorn: *bark! bark!*

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Legolas: "And now I use my patented nerve hold to destroy you Aragorn and become King of Gondor myself. A hahahahahaha!"

[Gil-Galad]

Legolas: "i know its a bad thing that i "accidently" shot Gimli cause i thought he was an orc, but a bets a bet and your the disgruntled dwarf now!"

[Nimrodel_9]

Legolas: WEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!! Piggy back!

[Oddwen]

L: Vulcan neck pinch! *struggle struggle*

A: *swat* Darn gnats.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Gimli laughs in the background after his quicksand prank caught Aragorn.

[Nimrodel_9]

Legolas: You didn`t just step in that, did you?

[ninlaith]

Legolas: You know Aragorn..have you ever considered Rogaine...You might also want to do something about those greys...you are 87 you know.

[Fordim Hedgethistle]

Legolas: Dang but that's a big gopher hole. . .

[Pallando]

Legolas: "A ELBERETH! Have you seen the dandriff in your hair, Estel? It's like Caradhras!"

[Elennar Starfire]

Now we know who drank all the ent-draught last night...

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

*That Dwarf just cut off my legs! Oh why did I make all those 'short jokes'?*

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Legolas: What are you doing?

Aragorn: To find the Hobbits I must first think like a Hobbit... I'm hungry...
:smokin:

[Maeggaladiel]

Legolas: That was a noble sacrifice, Aragorn.
Aragorn: Yeah, donating my shins to science probably wasn't my best idea, though. Arwen won't like hearing about the hobbit lasses that are hitting on me.

[Nimrodel_9]

http://www.councilofelrond.com/modules.php?op=modload&name=My_eGallery&file=index&do=showpic&pid=23085&orderby=titleA

Ooooo! Big, shiny, ball! We likes! We likes, precious!

Sorry, I typed in the wrong URL. Here is the REAL one. Thanks for pointing that out, Elronds_Daughter! I really need to get more sleep... :p

[elronds_daughter]

Aragorn: Sauron! Is that you??!?
Sauron: Yes, it's me.
Aragorn: Sorry, with that new shade of eyeshadow, I didn't recognize you.
Sauron: I've been getting that a lot....

[Gil-Galad]

http://www.ninecompanions.net/gallery_pics/tttpics/othercharacters/ttt_easterlings_7.jpg

try this one...

[Elennar Starfire]

Guy in front: Maybe if I hold my shield in front of me like this all day, nobody will notice I forgot my pants this morning...

[Gil-Galad]

Easterling in the far back: if this is the line for Mordor Smokies then why am i in battle armour...Sauron better not be tricking us again by like telling us those gondorians has the ketchup and won't share it...

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Easterling: I've heard of 'public' transport, but this is ridiculous!

OR

An Easterling in the middle: And I thought I had the best costume for the fancy dress! But NO! Everyone copies me!

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Sauron's bachelor party.

[Fordim Hedgethistle]

Yale School of Business: Class of '19

[dancing spawn of ungoliant]

Once again there's an autumn sale at Gap of Rohan. This time the Easterlings have prepared better than last year.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Easterling #1; "Blimey, it's hot today innit? And I've got a terrible rash on my leg too. That won't look pretty tonight."

Easterling #2; "Tell me about it. I've been having awful problems shaving recently, and my skin is in no condition to be out in the Sun all day. I need a good moisturiser."

Easterling #1: "I hear those Gondorians know their skincare products, we should ask them for some advice."

Easterling #2; "When? While we're killing them?

Easterling #2; "Oh, are we fighting today? I thought that was next Wednesday. But I've got so much on my mind right now, what with the kids starting school and all....


*Conversation goes on like this but it didn't make it to the theatrical release, unfortunately. The two soldiers got into a quite interesting discussion about why Oliphaunts have trunks. Peter Jackson decided to put it into the Extended Edition DVD instead.*

[Hama Of The Riddermark]

The armour dealer at the car boot sale was a happy man...

[Oddwen]

For Nimrodel_9's picture. (Did I see 10 captions for this? Hmm? Hmm!?!)

Aragorn: To be...or NOT to be!
Gimli: Aragorn? What are you doing?
Aragorn: Something is rotten in the state of Gondor!
Gimli: Okayyy...

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Random Easterling waaay back: Uh, is this the line to Hogwarts?

[Lhunardawen]

Aragorn-Legolas pic:
No, Nilp. This is the evolution of the Homo sapiens species.
Aragorn and Legolas (in unison): Gimli's the missing link! :eek:

Aragorn with palantir pic:
Eye of Sauron: Look into my eyes and repeat after me...
Aragorn: Eyeses? But you has only one, precious!

OR

Barad-dur: Aaah!!! Give me back my eye!!!

OR

Aragorn: Guess I've got to stop thinking about this war too much. I'm beginning to look like Sauron.
Sauron: Guess I've got to stop thinking about this war too much. I'm beginning to look like Aragorn. I hope I don't smell like him, too.
Aragorn: I heard that.

Easterlings pic:
An early ending for the Lord of the Rings...
Frodo, hiding somewhere: Look! A parade! Let's join them!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Aragorn with palantir:

Aragorn: I bet I can break this open just by smashing it against my head!

OR

Aragorn: Look what this did to my thumb! Its all malformed!

[Lachwen]

Easterling Animatronic Robot #37-J: And plus I have this terrible pain in all the diodes down my left side...

(100 points and a cookie to the first person who gets that. :D )

[Oddwen]

Would that happen to be a paranoid Easterling robot, Lachwen? ;)


Easterlings With Red Flags: "We are special! We are special!"

And if you get that, I'll shake your hand.

[Lachwen]

And Oddwen gets 100 points and a cookie(and is also my new favorite person). :D You want chocolate chip or gingersnap? :)

[Oddwen]

*sigh* You'd better give me chocolate chips, because gingersnaps give me jaw cramps. And I'm depressed right now, because I know that the minute I push the submit reply button, it's going to sigh happily and I just can't stand it. Here I am, brain the size of a planet...

[Lachwen]

*hands you a chocolate chip cookie* That's too bad about jaw cramps, my grandmother makes the world's BEST gingersnaps. They're soft and chewy... :D

I think you ought to know I'm feeling very depressed... Life! Don't talk to me about life.

(we should probably stop before the Barrow-wight jumps on us for being off-topic. :rolleyes: To that end, here's a new picture:

http://img-nex.theonering.net/images/scrapbook/orig/7861_orig.jpg

Where's Walda? :D

OR

Rohirrim on the far left: Éothain, why in the name of all that's holy did you tie our horses' bridles together?!

OR

All Rohirrim, in unison: CHEESE!!!
Behold the power of cheese...

OR

The real "Banned from Argo" crew. (Another 100 points and a cookie for this one!)

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Rohirum: Run away!

OR

The Orc on the far left thought he could blend in.

[Fordim Hedgethistle]

The RRMP Musical Ride

A jug of maple syrup to anyone who gets that!

[Bêthberry]

The Redcoats aren't coming! OR, There has to be an easier way to get our man.

I see Fordim's jug of maple syrup and raise him a bushel of saskatoon berries. ;)

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Extra in the centre making a very rude gesture; "Yuk, yuk! Do you think I'll get away with this?"

And stop talking about food, you are making me hungry! :(

[dancing spawn of ungoliant]

The great polo tournament was held at Pelennor fields this year. Rohan was eager to start the games since their team was guite bitter after last year's silver. Previous tournaments took place in Dagorlad and Dead Marshes (where did you think those names came from?!).

[Nimrodel_9]

Tut tut! It looks like rain!
(3 cookies, a bag of skittles, and a carrot for whoever gets that one)
Sorry, couldn`t help myself. ;)

[Hama Of The Riddermark]

Fourth rider from the left at the front: This isn't what I signed up for! I don't want to go into battle, 'specially against...that...look, bloody huge grey things...

[Lachwen]

Rohirrim in the lead: Anybody got a dime?! Somebody's gotta go back and get a [expletive deleted]-load of dimes!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Theoden: Last one in Minas tirith has to eat Aragorn’s trousers...
Rest of Rohirum: AAAAGH! (Dash off towards Minas Tirith at full pace)

[Evisse the Blue]

Rohirrim (chanting):

"Hey, ho, to the battle we go, to kill off orcses and Eaterlings, yo!"

OR

"Hey, ho, hey, ho, it's off to war we go!"

No desserts provided to those who get those. :p

Gotta love those missing link captions! :D

[Lachwen]

Second horse from the left: (to the horse on the far left) Kiss me, you fool!

Fordim, that wouldn't be the Royal Rohirrim Mounted Police, would it?

And I believe saying "Tut-tut, it looks like rain" was Winnie-the-Pooh's strategy for tricking honeybees... (Why do I know these things?!?!)

[Fordim Hedgethistle]

Fordim, that wouldn't be the Royal Rohirrim Mounted Police, would it?


You've got it Lachwen, I've left the maple syrup for you at the mushroom patch. You'll have to contact Bethberry about the Saskatoons.

[Nimrodel_9]

Yay! 3 cookies, a bag of skittles, and a carrot for Lachwen! ;)

http://www.councilofelrond.com/modules.php?op=modload&name=My_eGallery&file=index&do=showpic&pid=1299&orderby=titleA

You better not lay a finger on my Butterfinger!

[Fordim Hedgethistle]

Witch King: "Is it safe?"

A big bag of teeth-rotting candies to whoever catches that one.

[Bêthberry]

"Please, Sir, may I have some more?" Oh, wait, no, wrong story. ;)

"Why do I always have to look scared? Can't I ever stand up to him?"

[Lachwen]

Frodo: No, you may NOT use me to practice for your Proctology mid-term! Get away from me with that thing!

OR

Witch-king: Come here, little boy...I have some candy for you...
Frodo: What are you doing? You're not a priest! Let go of me!

OR

Frodo: Oh my God! It's Dan Quayle!

Hey Fordim... "I don't know, man! I just wanna buy a pack of cigarettes!" :cool:

[The Only Real Estel]

Donald Trump dismisses the next candidate from his reality TV show, The Apprentice.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Horsemen pic.

Random horseman waaay back: I'll be damned if any of these turkeys get the last piece of lembas.

Weathertop pic.

The Witch-king needs a lab specimen.

Frodo: Do I look like a frog?

OR

Frodo: I suppose you're not Strider (though you do smell a lot like him . . . )

[Nimrothiel]

What's in your wallet?

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Brilliant, Nimrothiel! Those adverts crack me up!

Ok;

Witch King: I am going to kill you!

Frodo: Help!

Sam: Mr Frodo there’s a secret escape here!

Frodo: NO! I need to escape more...

Sam: Dramatically? Sir?

Frodo: Yes! Dramatically! I need to escape more dramatically!

Witch King: Finished yet?

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

*The Witch-King acts out his plan with his new Frodo toy.*

[Maeggaladiel]

Witch king: I swear, if you kids come in my yard ONE MORE TIME, I'll--
Frodo: But I'm just selling cookies for the hobbit scouts!


OR

A scene from the film THE BLAIR WITCH KING PROJECT.

[Lachwen]

OK, whoever gets THIS one recieves two of their favorite kind of pie AND will be my new favorite person. :cool:

Frodo: Now I'm learning about scaring!

[Morsul the Dark]

Frodo:AHHH A bee kill the bee I'm allergic to bees!

Ring Wraith: Ill kill it... but only if you give me the ring..

Frodo : DEAL!

[Fordim Hedgethistle]

Witch King: Whaddya mean, "Glorfindel's not in the movie"?

[Oddwen]

WK: Ok, naptime's over!

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

"You stole my girlfriend!"

[Evisse the Blue]

Frodo: N...N...No, thanks, I changed my mind about my shave!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Frodo: I'm feeling much better! Honest!

Witch King: Don't worry Frodo, we'll have that gall stone out of there in no time! Just hold still!

[Lhunardawen]

Frodo: No...please...I'm scared of injections...
Witch King: ???
Frodo: You mean that's not a syringe? Okay then...

[The Only Real Estel]

Witch-King: "To blazes with The Code!"

[Oddwen]

Fro: Hey, I thought you guys's motto was "First Do No Harm"!

WK: What? I'm a Nazgûl, not a doctor!

[Hama Of The Riddermark]

Frodo looked on terrified when he realised the Witch King had noticed that Frodo had swapped his sword or Mordor for a rubber haddock.

[Nimrodel_9]

Sorry, I would put the pic on this page, but it won`t seem to work. :confused:

http://www.councilofelrond.com/modules.php?op=modload&name=My_eGallery&file=index&do=showpic&pid=10249&orderby=titleA

Legolas, do I look like the type of person who would steal your shampoo?

[Fordim Hedgethistle]

Aragorn: Are you looking at me? Are YOU looking at ME? Who the f*** are you looking at? Because there's nobody else here, so you must be looking at me. Are you LOOKING at me?

[Hama Of The Riddermark]

Galadriel's powers were beginning to have an effect on Aragorn...

[The Only Real Estel]

That smells like another one of Gimli's...

[Nimrodel_9]

Estel! You naughty naughty Dunedain! ;)

[Lachwen]

Prophet #1: Do you have the Answer?
Aragorn: Yes.
Prophet #2: You mean there really is one?!
Aragorn: There really is one.
Prophet #2: And you're going to tell us?
Aragorn: Yes.
Prophet #1: Now?
Aragorn: Now.
Prophet #2: Wow.
*pause*
Aragorn: You're not going to like it...

That brings us to Unofficial Rule #42 of the Crazy Captions thread: whenever possible, allude to Hitchhiker's Guide. ;)

[The Only Real Estel]

Aragorn: "I swear if I hear that Verizon Wireless guy one more time I'll..."

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Aragorn: Is it me, or am I hot today? Rrrr . . . watch out ladies!

[Oddwen]

A: No thank you, I do not like muffins.


Which brings us to rule no. 1: Inside jokes rule!

Yeah, outside jokes can make you too cold. ~Christy

And bad jokes just stink.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

*Whilst gazing sleepily at the dancing pink oliphaunts, 'Gorn begins to wonder if he should give up the weed - especially right before important battles.*

[Maeggaladiel]

*Boromir can be heard screaming in the distance*
Boromir: AAAAAAAH! *THUD* OW! MY LEG! All right, which one of you wise guys smeared grease all over the staircase?! Hey... what is this? My pants are stuck to the floor... IS THIS GLUE!?!

Aragorn: Heh heh. Let's see him disco NOW.

[Nimrodel_9]

Good ones Estel and Eomer! :D

Holy Eru! What is that silly fool-of-a-Took doing this time?! Boy, is Gandalf going to be mad when he comes back!

[Lhunardawen]

Aragorn's "tell-me-I-stink-and-you'll-regret-it-forever" look #27.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Gimli and Legolas are arguing in the background.

Aragorn: Soon I'll have to stop playing "Who shall I kill first?" over in my head and just go for what feels natural... I think I'll start with me, then its Legolas then Gimli.

[Nimrodel_9]

Aragorn was very sad when Pippin ate the last muffin.

[Lachwen]

Aragorn: If Pippin doesn't stop singing "A Hundred Bottles of Ale on the Wall" soon, I'm going to pack him in a box and mail it to Abu Dhabi.

[Oddwen]

Tiii-iii-iime for a new pic!
BEHOLD!


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v58/Oddwen/frodopuh-leeze.jpg

F: I'm sorry Gandalf, but I'm distracted by your hat. That is sooooo Second Age, man.

[Farmira]

Frodo: I don't think it works like that...

[Fordim Hedgethistle]

Somewherrrrrrrrre over the raiiiiiiinbooooow, waaaaay uuuuuuup hiiiiiiiiiiiiigh

[Evisse the Blue]

Frodo: So that's the famous pointy hat trick... I don't think much of it.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

*Frodo struggles to maintain interest as Gandalf tells him again what happened at Bilbo's 99th Birthday Party. Newsflash old man, I WAS THERE TOO!*

[One of the Nine]

Frodo: You want me to go where?

[The Only Real Estel]

Frodo: "Look, Gandalf, I'm sure it's all great fun for you, but I don't think the rest of Middle Earth is quite ready for 'Johnny Be Good'."

[Nimrodel_9]

Did you just eat that, Gandalf?

[Keeper of Dol Guldur]

"Hold on Frodo, we're being followed by a swarm of some creature or another. Take the reigns while I incinerate them ..."

[Oddwen]

Gandalf: Inconceivable!
Fro: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

[Saraphim]

Gandalf:...And that's how I came to Middle-Earth! So you see, I'm really an angelic gaurdian figure come to save the world!

Frodo: *Just keep smiling, and he'll go away*

[Oddwen]

Fro: You ate Uncle Bilbo?

[Farmira]

Your the one who taught boromir to disco??? :p

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

*Frodo gives a patronising response to Gandalf's claims that he could turn him into a toad.*

[Nimrodel_9]

Uhhh! Sour... skittles...too...sour!!!

[Rinfanawen]

F: Gandalf, drop the weed!

[Nimrodel_9]

My mind isn`t working at the moment, so I can`t think of anything. Sooo... ;)
http://www.councilofelrond.com/modules.php?op=modload&name=My_eGallery&file=index&do=showpic&pid=14817&orderby=

I`m looking at him!
($10 and a cookie to whoever gets that) :D

[Oddwen]

F: "Duhhhh...and den, duhh...yeah. DUHHHH!"

(Reminds me of a co-worker, that does.)

Or, speaking of work, how about:

F: Ding, fries are done! Ding, fries are done!

*shudders*

[THE Ka]

Jeez! Look! We have our own little Illiad... i can't believe that this is Still going on... I remember when this was only fifteen pages! Oh, well.

Might as well add some more:

Meet the new Legolas:

http://www.ez-entertainment.net/zoneseye/hedwig_2.jpg

Interviewer: So, what do you have to say about your new look? What was your transformation process like? What can you say to you're fans?

"Some girls they have natural ease They wear it any way they please With their French flip curls And perfumed magazines Wear it up, let it down This is the best way that I've found To be the best you've ever seen I put on some make-up Turn up the eight-tack I'm pulling the wig down from the shelf Suddenly I'm Miss Farrah Fawcett From TV Until I wake up And I turn back to myself." - Wig In A Box

Yeah. Cheezy, I know.

[THE Ka]

My mind isn`t working at the moment, so I can`t think of anything. Sooo... ;)
http://www.councilofelrond.com/modules.php?op=modload&name=My_eGallery&file=index&do=showpic&pid=14817&orderby=

I`m looking at him!
($10 and a cookie to whoever gets that) :D

It was broadcasted on Norwegian Television? Hmm. Didn't seem to catch it. :confused:

[THE Ka]

Your the one who taught boromir to disco??? :p


That's strange. I've always seen Gandalf as a sort of "David Bowie - Seem- to -have-been-there-forever" person... Sorry. When ever i bring up david bowie people always comment on that Bowie seems to be immortal. Most Glam Rockers are ;) .

[Sapphire_Flame]

Frodo: Um, Gandalf, you have something in your nose...

Abedithon le,

~ Saphy ~

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Faramir was unaware that a mysterious horseman was about to grab him.

[Fordim Hedgethistle]

"Oh shoot! I forgot to tell Frodo and Sam about Shelob!"

[THE Ka]

Faramir was unaware that a mysterious horseman was about to grab him.

Oh, now i see! I was too interested in where it was broadcasted... :rolleyes: I'm such an idiot sometimes. Oh, well.

[turgon]

Um gandalf your robes are open.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Faramir: "Good God, what is that hideous thing?"

Gollum: "That's a shame, it's only a Hobbit..."


*Shrek rules* :)

[Saraphim]

Faramir: A "Hobbit"? Well, that's the last time I smoke pipeweed before talking to Gandalf.

[Elennar Starfire]

Faramir: *sees what Shadowfax just did on his shampoo*

Now, OT comment-
That's strange. I've always seen Gandalf as a sort of "David Bowie - Seem- to -have-been-there-forever" person... Sorry. When ever i bring up david bowie people always comment on that Bowie seems to be immortal. Most Glam Rockers are
*loves Labyrinth* *points at siggy*

[Oddwen]

Faramir: You have six fingers on your right hand. Someone was looking for you.
Gandalf: *thwack!*

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Frodo pic

Frodo unveils his secret weapon against the Nazgûl: Puppy eyes.

~*~

Faramir pic
He had a journal entry later that day. Do you want to know what it says?
Sure you do. ;)

March 10, 3019: Saw Gandalf the Grey uncloaked. Rethinking plans for suicide.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Frodo pic:

Frodo: Mr Gul, Mr Nazgul?

Nazgul: erm, yes?

Frodo: You’re a jerk. A complete A*se hole... right...

Nazgul: HAY! Come back here and say that? Who the Hell do you think you are?

And a large box of magic pencils to anyone who gets that.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

You underestimate how many Douglas Adams fans there are on this board. ;)

Faramir: "Oh no! I forgot to take the chicken out of the freezer! I guess it's beans on toast for tea tonight..."

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Too true...

Faramir: Right, I put the dinner in the oven and I need to take the dog for a walk... (Looks down and sees that there is a raw chicken attacked to a dog lead)... ah!

[Nimrodel_9]

Originally posted by me:
I`m looking at him!
(10$ and a cookie to whoever gets that!)
Nobody got that one? It was David Wenham in Van Helsing. I love him in that movie! Oh well, I guess I get to eat the cookie. ;)

Faramir had a very short attention span.
Yes, bring more men over to that bridge and-- Holy Eru! That is the biggest rat I`ve ever seen!

[Elennar Starfire]

Faramir: Smell bad...

Anyone who gets that receives a special gift of a peach. No worm in this one, I promise.

[Maeggaladiel]

Amid howls of laughter and shocked screams, Faramir realizes that he has forgotten his pants again.

[Nimrodel_9]

Hmm... Who will be my next victim? I know! Frodo and Sam! Or should I say, the Elves?
http://www.councilofelrond.com/modules.php?op=modload&name=My_eGallery&file=index&do=showpic&pid=1821&orderby=titleA

Frodo:This is going to be great! Too bad I didn`t know about Unce Bilbo`s Halloween masks earlier! Ok, Sam. On the count of 3, we jump out of the bushes, and shout BOO! We then laugh like maniacs, run through their group, and into the trees.
Sam: Ok. On the count of what?
Frodo: 3
Sam: Got it.
Frodo:Are you sure?
Sam: Yeah. I think so.
Frodo: You think so?
Sam: Yeah.
Frodo: The count of 3.
Sam: 3?
Frodo:3!
Sam: BOO! ***jumps into group of Elves, screams like maniac, and runs into trees.***
Frodo: *sigh* Will he ever get it right?
***Elves scream in terror and scatter.*** :p

[Hookbill the Goomba]

*Crazy funfair music*

Sam: Don't they know there is a cliff over there?
Frodo: Shh! This could be interesting.

[Saraphim]

Sam: Look, Mr. Frodo! Elves!

Frodo: They must be on thier way to the Havens!

*Both watch the elves pass in awed silence*

Frodo: *Sigh* Elves are so wonderful!

Sam: Look, Mr. Frodo! A butterfly!

Frodo: It must be on it's way to the Havens!

*Both watch the butterfly pass (going east) in awed silence*

Frodo: *Sigh* Butterflies are so beautiful!

Sam: Look, Mr. Frodo! Clouds!

And it goes on. For another two or three chapters...

[Maeggaladiel]

This photograph has long served as evidence of the existance of the infamous "Follow the Leader" ghosts of Lorien, spirits of elves who died in a freak Follow the Leader accident involving a blindfolded 'leader' and a cliff. Their ghosts are said to haunt the forests, repeating their final words before dying...

"We're follooowwwing the leeeeaader, the leeeeaader, the leeeaaader,
We're foooolooowwwing the leeeeader, whereeeeever hee maaay goooo-AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"
*photograph taken by famous ghostologists F. Baggins and S.Gamgee. (Pictured, in corner)

*Author's note* At the time of their deaths, Baggins and Gamgee admit that the photograph was fake.

[Fordim Hedgethistle]

Sam: Look Mr. Frodo, sir - Elves!

Frodo: Not just Elves, Sam. Those are New Jersey Elves. See? They're glowing in the dark, just like the rivers and streams of their homeland!


(With apologies to anyone from the Garden State.)

[Oddwen]

In their younger years, youngsters Sam and Frodo used to lie in hiding in the forests and throw rocks at passing elves.

[The Saucepan Man]

Sam: I don't have no treats, Mr Frodo sir, and I don't want no tricks, if you take my meaning.

Frodo: Let's just hide here and maybe they'll go away.

[Sapphire_Flame]

Frodo: *in a rather strong Australian accent* Crikey! Now them there, those are High Elves; we're really lucky, we've caught them during their millennial migration to the Havens! Be quiet now, we don't want to startle 'em.

Sam: Mr. Frodo, I think you've been watching too much television...

Abedithon le,

~ Saphy ~

[Oddwen]

Ah, for those peaceful innocent days in the Shire...when all the young hobbits at birthday parties would play "Pin the Tail on the Elf"...

[Hama Of The Riddermark]

Sam and Frodo looked in awe at the gifts Elrond had given his 'trick or treaters'

[Galadel Vinorel]

Sam: oohhh....Mr. Frodo look at the pretty elvsies. Do you think that I could feed one?

Frodo: *hands Sam some lembas treats* Be careful, Sam. Elves can get testy when you come into their habitat. Make sure that you don't pet them. Wait, Sam, don't rush at them! You'll startle them! SAM!

*Sam is seen flying through the air. He lands at the feet of Frodo, who helps him to his feet.*

Frodo: What did I tell you? Don't scare them. They have a testy temper.

*Sam shakes his head and smiles*

Sam: That was fun! I want to do it again!

*Frodo watched the young hobbit run off after the elves*

Frodo: Will he ever learn? *screaming is heard* Nope.---*Frodo turns towards camera.*---Now remember kids, don't be as foolish as Sam. Do not disturb creatures in their natural habitat, or, well, you know what will happen.

*Sam flys through the air and lands in front of the camera. He smiles; his two front teeth are missing.)

Sam: Liphsten to Miphster Frodo. Be phsafe!! *Sam collapses*

THE END

(Note to the Public: No elves were harmed in the making of this commercial on Safety in the Forest )

[Maeggaladiel]

Frodo: *into microphone* Goooood morning, Middle Earth! You're listening to K-SHIR radio! And now the daily traffic report.

Sam: *into microphone* There seems to be a lot of traffic on Interstate-5 this morning, all the way from Lorien to the Sea! If you're headed to the Gray Havens today, expect delays!

Frodo: I've just recieved word from our Shire contact that there is a three-horse pileup outside Bree! Apparently the driver of a white Mustang lost control of his animal on a patch of wet cobblestone outside the Prancing Pony, rear-ending a brown Pinto and spooking a black Mustang!

Sam: And now back to the studio, with Pippin and the weather forecast.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Frodo: I was working in my lab, late one night, when my eyes beheld an eerie sigh, for the elves in the shire, began to rise, and suddenly, to my surprise...

Elves *all turn around* they did the mash!

Frodo: They did the monster mash

Elves: The monster mash

Frodo: It was a shire smash.

Elves: It was a smash!

Frodo: It caught on in a flash

Elves: The monster mash

Frodo: they did the monster mash.


And so on and so forth.

[Nimrodel_9]

http://lordoftherings.haveabanana.net/merry/merry249.jpg

Merry was over joyed when he discovered the cookie in his pocket.

[Galadel Vinorel]

Merry: "I'm so wet...it just makes me want to sing...I'm SINGING in the rain! Just singing in the rain! What a glorious feeling! I'm happy again!"

Pippin, Sam and Frodo join in and they began to dance, circling around trees in their merry little dance. Aragorn finally joins in and they dance happily through the night.

The story contiues....

A traveling producer hears their marvelous singing and signs a contract with them. They travel around Middle Earth performig day and night, accumulating wealth and gaining a great amount of fame. Yet none of this matters for they totally forget about the Ring and Sauron eventually finds them takes back the Ring and makes them his slaves to sing for him day and night. Thus Sauron takes over Middle Earth and everyone is forced to serve him forever.

THE END

[Hama Of The Riddermark]

Merry wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry when he read about the presidential election.

[Lhunardawen]

Merry smiles for the trick camera.

[dancing spawn of ungoliant]

Merry went to the audition of "Little Red Riding Hood" in full costume but still, for some reason, didn't get the main role.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Elves picture

Frodo: Be vewwy vewwy quiet. We'we hunting elves.

A shilling to whoever gets that. ;)

~*~
Merry pic

I just noticed . . . Merry lost the whites of his eyes! :eek:
Alien fungi took over his body . . .

[Maeggaladiel]

(Nil- That's Elmer Fudd! Do I get a shilling?)


Merry- Who's got a kiss for the pickety witch, the pickety witch, the pickety witch?
(A strawberry cheesecake to whoever gets that one)

OR

Merry's nasgul costume was lacking something...

[Nimrodel_9]

Merry pic

Don`t ya hate it when you bite your tongue?

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Merry in Botox.

Post-graduate. Why is the Merry pic in sfumato? (A piece of mithril to whoever gets that. ;) )

[Mithalwen]

Mery really enjoyed the "Falls of Teiglin" water ride at the "Middle Earth Experience" themepark "wanna go again, please Aragorn?" "No, queueing time is 3 hours and Gimli wants to go on the "Mithril Mines" ride .. no Sam, you won't make the height restriction for the Vingelot ride......"

[Nimrodel_9]

http://www.ninecompanions.net/thumbnails/tttpics/grouphobbits/ttt_frodosam_5.JPG
No one would have ever suspected Sam was a vampire until it was too late.

[Elennar Starfire]

Sam: Mister Frodo's asleep...now...it's mine...my own...my preciousss...

[Sapphire_Flame]

Heh, vampire Sam. *snerksnork*

Sam: Of course I know how to check a pulse! What kind of idiot do you take me for?

Abedithon le,

~ Saphy ~

[Farmira]

Sam: ... huh? whats that? your breaking up?.... mr.frodo your phone isn't getting service here...

:P

[Farmira]

http://thethrillseeker.net/funny/LotR_Saruman_bubble.jpg

^^ sry couldn't get the picture to work))

Saruman: ha! with this device i will take over the world

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Sam pic:

Sam: Now Mr Frodo, if we hold hands together like this for long enough we’ll transport directly to mount doom!

Frodo: Sam, you've been saying that... for... the ... last...... five..... hours.... *Snore*

Saruman pic;
Saruman: I can't believe my eyes!

[The Only Real Estel]

When the 10,000 Uruk was created, Saruman allowed himself a quick break from breeding to enjoy a little bubbly.

[Nimrodel_9]

Grima: Shhhh! Rats are rabid you know! Ah! Be careful! Move slowly! No! Don`t do that! Ah!
Saruman(thinking to himself): Why oh why did I hire this idiot to help clean out the rafters?

[elronds_daughter]

Saruman: My creation is complete! With it I will frighten the wits out of every single creature in Middle Earth!!! AAHH!!! :eek: Oh, no, I didn't take into consideration that I might scare the wits out of myself!!

[Elennar Starfire]

Saruman: Quick! Measure it! This one's a world record for sure!

[Oddwen]

The Sam/Fro pic:

Sam fights valiantly to keep Frodo's fist away from his head...

or...

This scene is just moments after Sam flipped Frodo over his shoulder in an unrivalled karate move.
Sam: Oh, Mr. Frodo, I'm sorry! I was just practicing for that Stinker, if you follow me!
Fro: Ehh...ehh...*grunt*

[Lhunardawen]

Post-graduate. Why is the Merry pic in sfumato? (A piece of mithril to whoever gets that. )

Hah! It's blurry, like Leonardo da Vinci's The Mona Lisa! Where's my mithril? :D

Saruman pic:
Grima, somewhere: Oh pleeease, grow old, will you?
*moments later*
Grima: *mumble mumble* (Translation: "Let me out!")

[Nimrodel_9]

Saruman never did admit that his favorite past times were catching butterflies.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Saruman woke up to find that some one had replaced his staff.

OR

Saruman: WEEE! This is fun!... (Witch King and cronies enter).... erm... It’s not what it looks like!
:D

And a shiny sixth pence to anyone who gets that!

[Hama Of The Riddermark]

Saruman: WEEE! This is fun!... (Witch King and cronies enter).... erm... It’s not what it looks like! Could that be from American Pie? Doubt it, just reminds me of that scene...


Mine:

Saruman discovered that the Uruk Hai were much better at making bubblemix that fighting...

Saruman regretted trying that aromatic cigarette he'd found under Grima's bed when he saw a liquid palantir fly past On ThE EnD of Hi.....ss..s..t...a..ff
(A piece of redberry tart to whever gets that)

[Sapphire_Flame]

Saruman: *singing* I'm forever blowing bubbles...

Heh. :D :D

Abedithon le,

~ Saphy ~

[Maeggaladiel]

Saruman: Uruks, Shmuruks. Humans and orcs, what was I thinking? Now for my greatest creation ever! I shall cross garden gnomes with giant bubbles to create a race of tiny floating minions! BRING IN THE GNOMES!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Could that be from American Pie? Doubt it, just reminds me of that scene...

AAAGH! That film is the WORST FILM EVER! It’s not even amusing in the slightest!

SO no, it’s NOT from that disgraceful excuse for a film

Sorry, must stop rambling.

Anyway back on topic;

Saruman: Now I'll get that Gandalf! If this net can't stop him, nothing can!

[Nimrodel_9]

http://www.warofthering.net/photos/fotrboromir/thumbnails/tnboromirsteed.jpg
Ah! *cough cough hack!* I just swallowed a fly!
or
This isn`t Osgiliath!
(you decide ;))

[Elennar Starfire]

Boromir: I need sunglasses...

Saruman: WEEE! This is fun!... (Witch King and cronies enter).... erm... It’s not what it looks like!

Oh please, don't tell me it's from Heart Breakers..

[Oddwen]

Saruman: WEEE! This is fun!... (Witch King and cronies enter).... erm... It’s not what it looks like!
It's not from "Spaceballs" is it?

Boromir stares in awe as the giant disco ball is raised in the hall of the Citadel...and smiles.

or...

Ah, ah, ah, ah, stayin' alive, stayin' alive...
B: They're playing my song!

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Sam pic

Sam: Now when that Black Rider comes I'll throw you over the fence. Are you ready?

Frodo Sam, no!

~*~

Saruman pic

Saruman: Gandalf! What did you do to my staff?

Gandalf: Haha! Care for a rematch now?

~*~

Boromir pic

Boromir: What do you mean I die in this movie? I thought that was Viggo!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Saruman: WEEE! This is fun!... (Witch King and cronies enter).... erm... It’s not what it looks like!

To put all out of misery, its form a British sit-com called Black Books, I'd just been watching it.

************
Boromir: I see trees of green! Red roses too! I see them bloom, for me and you! And I think to myself... What a wonderful world!

[Sapphire_Flame]

Boromir: Waitaminute, I thought I was the one who ended up with Eowyn! *pouts* 'S not fair!

Abedithon le,

~ Saphy ~

[The Only Real Estel]

Boromir: "What's that Pete? I've got to die again? I can't stand it! I have to blood die in every movie I act in!"

[Oddwen]

Boromir: I see trees of green! Red roses too! I see them bloom, for me and you! And I think to myself... What a wonderful world!

KABOOOOOM!

Don't panic. ;)

[elronds_daughter]

^^ Oddwen, Hitchhiker's Guide rocks!

Yes, now on to the caption......

All Boromir's machismo promptly rushed out of him when he saw Barney sitting in the Steward's chair. :eek:



(Just combining two people I think deserve a swift death... Not that Denethor is quite as bad as Barney. You decide who deserves worse.;))

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Boromir: I feel pretty, oh so pretty. I'm pretty, and witty, and gaaaaay!!!

[dancing spawn of ungoliant]

Boromir pic:
At the gates of Rivendell he realised that he had left the water running.

[Sapphire_Flame]

At the gates of Rivendell he realised that he had left the water running.

Boromir: And I left the stove on! $#&%*@!!! Father is going to kill me!

Faramir: *yelling from Gondor* No, he's gonna kill me, you shmuck! Thanks a lot!

Abedithon le,

~ Aranel ~

[Mithalwen]

Boromir "I don't think we're in Kansas anymore Toto".. (for Kansas read Gondor)

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Boromir: There something horribly wrong with this set . . .

Hmmm . . . there is.

[The Only Real Estel]

Boromir "I don't think we're in Kansas anymore Toto".. (for Kansas read Gondor)

Wow, Kansas draws a mention. Although it was accompanied with Toto...as usual. :)

Boromir: "What's this? Crop circles in Rivendell!?"

[Naz]

Faramir: *yelling from Gondor* No, he's gonna kill me, you shmuck! Thanks a lot!



xD! *dies* That was funny!

[Nimrodel_9]

http://www.warofthering.net/photos/fotrboromir/thumbnails/tnPDVD_1378.jpg

Boromir hated going to Rivendell, for the elves always put tacks on his chair.

[Elennar Starfire]

Borrums: Don't speak, I know what you're saying, so please stop explaining, don't tell me 'cause it hurts...

(several years ago at a fun and silly after school kareoke thing I went to, everyone sang that song many times, until we were all thoroughly sick of it. I still hate it!)

[luthien-elvenprincess]

Boromor pic:
"I said NO froth on my latte! Zero! Nata! None! It makes me all farty and bloaty! What part of that don't you understand!"

[The Saucepan Man]

Voice over: And Boromir just needs the double top to claim the invisible darts world championship trophy.

[Oddwen]

(I saw these on another site, but I just wanted to share them.)

Peter Jackson managed to edit out the fact that Boromir was flossing his teeth.

Without realizing it, Merry and Pippin had stolen Boromir's hoagie.

/other people's captions


Thank the chef, that squid was excellent!

[The Only Real Estel]

Originally, Boromir laughed off Elrond's prediction that one day Boromir would shorten his hair, slick it back, try to steal a piece of paper called 'The Decleration of Independence', & go off on some hunt for a 'national treasure', all the while pitted against some guy named 'Cage.'

[THE Ka]

Originally, Boromir laughed off Elrond's prediction that one day Boromir would shorten his hair, slick it back, try to steal a piece of paper called 'The Decleration of Independence', & go off on some hunt for a 'national treasure', all the while pitted against some guy named 'Cage.'


Heh. That movie looks incredibly stupid. But, hey? were here to poke fun.

My Turn :D ...

After long hours of almost seemingly meaningless practice, boromir brings himself to muster a few cords of "Just my imagination", when suddenly he notices the absence of his microphone...

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Boromir taunts Aragorn for his pathetic performance in the Hobbit-tossing contest.

Boromir: Ha! *makes a zero with his hand*

[The Saucepan Man]

Boromir attempted to lighten the mood at the Council of Elrond with his famous Groucho Marx impression.

[Hama Of The Riddermark]

Boromir noticed that Elrond had stolen his telescope...

[Fordim Hedgethistle]

Boromir: Now that's great coffee!

[Bêthberry]

Boromir: Oh Dad, I came this close. This close!

Denethor: Close only counts in horseshoes and grenades, you fool.

[Maeggaladiel]

"Hey there, foxy elven mama!" Boromir counts on his suave moves to impress women. Ironically, he remains single until the time of his death.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Brormir was so confident in his darts playing ability that he did not notice that Aragorn had taken his dart.

[Mithalwen]

Wow, Kansas draws a mention. Although it was accompanied with Toto...as usual. :)



Well at least I have been to Kansas..... and have happy memories of freaking out the locals in Great Bend .... ;)


"In Gondor they're this big..."

[The Saucepan Man]

Even as Boromir raised the Horn of Gondor to his lips to call for aid, the notorious horn thief struck.

[Mithalwen]

Boromir bites an invisible banana....

[Lalwendë]

"Happiness is a cigar called..." ......and then the anti-smoking elves angrily snatch the cheroot from Boromir's hand, pointing out the no-smoking signs.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Sean Bean is still sharp!

Bean: Damn right I am!

[Lalwendë]

'Boromir' celebrates a 3-0 defeat of Leeds United at Bramall Lane and joins in with a rousing chorus of Greasy Chip Buttie.

[Mithalwen]

'Boromir' celebrates a 3-0 defeat of Leeds United at Bramall Lane and joins in with a rousing chorus of Greasy Chip Buttie.


That may be a cultural reference too specific for southerners and other foreigners ;)

[Evisse the Blue]

Boromir recounts his past battle adventures, exaggerating a little for effect:
'And when that arrow got me, it left a hole in my back that was this big!'

[Lalwendë]

That may be a cultural reference too specific for southerners and other foreigners

Sorry about that! I blame the loudspeakers which make every sound drift right up my road on match days, so sadly it's as familiar to me as my own name. ;)

[The Only Real Estel]

Boromir recounts his past battle adventures, exaggerating a little for effect:
'And when that arrow got me, it left a hole in my back that was this big!'

Little did he know that it wouldn't be long before he was filled with three arrows literally that thick...:eek:

[Nimrodel_9]

The frequent thought of Boromir:
Why do people keep stealing things from me?
or

Boromir prepared to take a bite out of his donut hole.

[Oddwen]

Elrond drones on and on about the last alliance, and starts to quote his own poetry (namely: "Ode to a Lump of Green Putty I found in my Armpit this Morning"), and Boromir prepares to gnaw his own arm off.

[Lalwendë]

Boromir feasts upon the Emperor's New Chocolate Bar. It's ultra low-carb.

[THE Ka]

Hope to impress...

Boromir reflects on how long his brother has until he wrecks his new O-ZONE cd...
*trying to yell above the tencho-boy band groove...
" Don't make me get Travolta on your back-side!"

Disco lives on!!!

[Mithalwen]

Elrond drones on and on about the last alliance, and starts to quote his own poetry (namely: "Ode to a Lump of Green Putty I found in my Armpit this Morning"), and Boromir prepares to gnaw his own arm off.


Please, Lord Elrond is NOT a vogon :)

[Lhunardawen]

As the judge, Boromir shows Aragorn his score in the annual Rivendell Disco Championships. Arwen then strangles Aragorn with the Evenstar.

[Hama Of The Riddermark]

http://www.laurelindorenan.com/Elrond%204.jpg


Time for a new one methinks...

At the most inopportune moment, Elrond realised that he'd left his key in the front door.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Some one took the "bunny ears on a photo" joke too far.

[Sapphire_Flame]

Elrond drones on and on about the last alliance, and starts to quote his own poetry (namely: "Ode to a Lump of Green Putty I found in my Armpit this Morning"), and Boromir prepares to gnaw his own arm off.
Please, Lord Elrond is NOT a vogon :)

Neither was the creature that actually wrote that particular poem. ;)

Elrond: Come on, is it that much of a chore to take a nice family picture to send to Celebrian? Elrohir, you get rid of these things immediately, that was not amusing. And Estel, stop pretending to pick your nose, please.

Abedithon le,

~ Saphy ~

[Lalwendë]

...Elrond notices the 'poop' on his best armour: "I'm gonna kill that dirty pigeon".



Sorry if you were eating your tea... ;)

[The Only Real Estel]

And Estel, stop pretending to pick your nose, please

What!? How did you...wow you're amazing :eek:. ;)


Elrong begins to zone out in the midst of battle as he compiles "Ode to a Lump of Green Putty I found in my Armpit this Morning" (to quote an earlier caption :p).

[THE Ka]

Elrond: I hate Mondays...



~A Very Saaaad Ka~ :(

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Aragorn: You see! *points at the picture* You were a dirty (literally) old man like me, too.

Elrond: Once. Just once I tried the greasy look. Never again. *to self* I knew I should have burned that picture . . .

[Maeggaladiel]

After the final tomato was thrown, Elrond decided that he would never put on a kabuki play for the Orcs again.


OR

Elrond: *Watches Legolas in the distance* How does Legolas manage to stay so sparkly clean after fighting an army of blood-filled orcs in a mudhole? I swear that guy is made of Teflon or something!

[Mithalwen]

Neither was the creature that actually wrote that particular poem. ;)

True but it has been a while ( I read the Hitch-hikers as they were issued..and my hardback first edition of "So Long......" is treasured not only because it is one of the few presents my father ever bought me :P

"Vogon poetry is of course, the third worst in the universe. The second worst is that of the Asgoths of Crea. During a recitation by their poetmaster Grunthos the Flatulent of his poem "Ode to a Small Lump of Green Putty I Found in my Armpit One Midsummer Morning" four of his audience died of internal haemorrhaging and the president of the mid-galactic Arts Knobbling Council survived only by gnawing one of his own legs off. Grunthos was reported to have been "disappointed" by the poem's reception, and was about to embark on a reading of his 12-book epic entitled "My Favourite Bathtime Gurgles" when his own major intestine, in a desperate attempt to save humanity, leapt straight up through his neck and throttled his brain."

*Elrond thinks * Lucky for Elros that we are separated beyond the end of the world... he chooses mortality, gets to be king of a nice little island for five hundred years then DIES and leaves me with a crowd of useless realtives.. alienate the Valar, trash the island, come crawling back and its "Uncle Elrond this and Uncle Elrond that and you find you have all their wives and children eating their heads off at Imladris and not lifting a finger while you have to fight in yet another war .. then ask them to do a little thing like chuck something on the fire ....and will they do it? Will they ..."

[THE Ka]

After the final tomato was thrown, Elrond decided that he would never put on a kabuki play for the Orcs again.


OR

Elrond: *Watches Legolas in the distance* How does Legolas manage to stay so sparkly clean after fighting an army of blood-filled orcs in a mudhole? I swear that guy is made of Teflon or something!


Legolas (Answering over a long distance...): The secret is... AquaNet! For three easy payments of 4.99 you too can have perfectly flawless hair, with extra EXTRA hold!!! and If you call right now, we will throw in our free AquaNet smooth comb!Garenteed to get the job done! FREE from US to YOU!!! :D <--- Fake corporate grin...

Heh. Yes, I know. You are amazed by my dry humour... You may throw trinkets now...

~Ka~

[Elennar Starfire]

*throws small strange looking shiny things at Ka*

[THE Ka]

*throws small strange looking shiny things at Ka*

AH! Polyphonic glass Ponies and clowns! Don't fail me AquaNet! * Ka spray's its "Robert Smith" hairdo...

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Finally, at the six minute mark, Elrond calls to order AquaNet with a free comb included.

Elrond: I hope this works... *applies gel with caution

Legolas: *Sniff, sniff I smell... AquaNet! Another happy Minion, er....I mean Customer!

Six hours later...

Elrond: Hmm... i wonder how long this stuff lasts? i might as well add more...

That night:

Elrond: Ok, time to wash the fabulous hair. This stuff is great! Not a hair lose... i wonder what it's made o... AHHH!!!! MY HAIR! MY HAIR!!
Elrond suddenly notices that by washing and tugging his hair, and with the amount of AquaNet applied, he reached a new level of pain... and baldness.

Hope you like. :)