Crazy Captions

[The Only Real Estel]

Aragorn: "Uh...how do you tie this thing again? Something about...a fox chasing a rabbit around a tree or something?"

[The Elf-warrior]

Aragorn: "No, Peregrin Took, you can't borrow my sword."

[Maeggaladiel]

Aragorn: *reading tag* My horse is "Dry Clean Only?"

OR

Not wanting to be outdone by Boromir, Aragorn begins to collect battle wounds of his own. Arrows were sooo last year.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Aragorn: Are you sure you carry all this Sam?

OR

Aragorn: Ah! I've just found my receipt for this sword. Darn it! I invalidated the warrantee by re-forging it!

[Meela]

Aragorn's hands-free razor was great for those on-the-job moments.

OR

Aragorn: *singing* ... connects to the... saddle strap. The saddle strap connects to the... spare cloak. The cloak connects to the... scabbard. The scabbard connects to the... collarbone- dang it!

[Lalwendë]

When mobiles came to Middle-earth.

Aragorn: "Hang on lads, just got to text the missus.... CU L8R GOIN OUT W/LADS SOMEFIN BOUT A RING. KP ME DINNR WRM. LUV GORN XXX."

[Hookbill the Goomba]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v604/hukbillgoomba/Zoom.jpg ZOOM!

Even Aragorn had to agree that Digital watches were a pretty neat idea.

[dragoneyes]

Aragorn: My nails really are dirty aren't they?

[Kath]

Aragorn sighs as he realises that Pippin has been playing with the superglue again.

[Gurthang]

A sword had been stuck in his shoulder for three days, and Aragorn still hasn't noticed.

OR

Aragorn takes a quick break from battle play some GameBoy.

OR

Aragorn just has no idea what's going on.

[Meneltarmacil]

Tired of being ridden around in dangerous situations all the time, Aragorn's horse decides to show his rider some of his swordfighting skills.

[Oddwen]

Lurtz: But I've chopped your arm off!

Aragorn: No you didn't.

Lurtz: Yer bloody sword's stuck in yer shoulder!

Aragorn: No it isn't. I'M INVINCIBLE!

Or...

Aragorn: If...found...please return...to Gandalf the Grey, Esq. Oh no, he must have put away his cloak after he took it off and Shadowfax ran off with it!

Or...

Arwen: What's this, a Ranger caught off his guard?

Aragorn(not looking up): Hello darling, you're using the wrong end of the sword again.

[Lhunardawen]

Aragorn reads - belatedly - the tag on his new sword:

WARNING: This sword is unexplainably attracted to too much dirt. Take a bath before use.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Aragorn: This lembas expired before we took it out of Loren! :eek: Gimli! Stop eating it!

OR

Orcs? No problem. Uruks? Easy! Hundreds of evil creatures outside the gates? Piece of piffle! But Chinese finger traps always got the better of Aragorn.

[Lalwendë]

Aragorn prepares to leave Rivendell on 25th December. "This new sat nav system that Arwen bought me for Christmas is useless in Middle-earth! The closest match for Mordor is given as Milton Keynes!"

[Mithalwen]

The host of Mordor was nigh .. but Aragorn was on Level 17 of Alien Scum.......

[Valier]

Where did I put my Orthodics?These saddle sores are killing me!

[The Only Real Estel]

Aragorn was living proof that it's better to be lucky than smart.

-or-

Too much Halo 2...
Aragorn: "Hah! I had an Overshield!!!" :D

[malkatoj]

Desperately trying to hide his new hobby from the rest of the fellowship, Aragorn stabs his finger with his sewing needle.

or...(because, as a GameCube person, I am obligated to go to war with TORE because of his Halo 2 mentioning) (this won't make sense if you haven't played Windwaker, apologies)

Aragorn: I'm going to read this chart MYSELF, darnit. I refuse to give that blasted elf any more of my money!

or maybe

Aragorn, reading tag: "This label is affixed in compliance with provincial law. Not to be removed until delivered to the consumer." ...Okay, first, why does my hand have a tag on it, and second, how are they planning on getting my hand 'to the consumer'? (noticing sword) ...Oh.

[The Only Real Estel]

Aragorn: "What's this inscribed on my saddlebag with foul scratches? Your mother was a hamster and...your father smelt of elderberries!!??"

[Elu Ancalime]

Game Boy Micro. It's that small.


A Kingly gift, The Game Boy Micro was passed down from the Lords of Arthedain, as they used it in their passtime since they lived so long. It was taken at the splitting of the Kingdom of Arnor, as Cardolan got an old Playstation, and Rhudar was stuck with a crappy Sega. Aragorn was given this by Elrond as a token of his kingship of the West. It was not recorded in Gondor what games The line of Isildur played, as only seven were saved from the burning of Best Buy.





{Not Avalible in some parts of Mordor}
________
Thc Finder (http://dispensaries.org/)

[Bêthberry]

Aragorn: "Why Arwen insisted on packing my saddle roll with all these little notes of endearment I'll never know. I just hope the rest of the guys never find them."

[Gurthang]

Aragorn always had trouble with knots... big fingers and all that.

OR

Aragorn checks his pocket mirror: "Eh... not too bad. I've got at least a couple more weeks before I'll need a bath."

Meanwhile, Legolas and Gimli, who don't share his optimism, sneak up behind him with soap and water.

OR

Aragorn had attempted to sew that hole in his shirt by using his sword as a giant needle (notice the nifty pin-hole in the hilt of the sword). He gave up after it only widened the hole. He then decided to get his real needle and thread. But, alas, threading that needle takes much more talent than putting thread through his sword.

After trying to mend the tear for an hour and a half, Aragorn reluctantly hands his shirt to Arwen, who has the job done in five minutes.

OR

Aragorn performs surgery on his horse.
Aragorn: "Scalpal."
Arwen: "You have it under your arm."

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Aragorn experiences Ardslignish. (The descriptive term to describe the behaviour of Sellotape when you are tired).

[Lhunardawen]

Aragorn commits suicide to join his "dead" fingernail.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Observe how chimpanzees help groom each other.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Putting a magnifying glass on top of his sword seemed like a good idea at the time, but Aragorn is about to find out that if you stay in that position near a bright light lake, for example, the sun, then it could mean an unexpected reduction in hair quantity.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Aragorn's finger got stuck in some metal loop.

[dancing spawn of ungoliant]

Aragorn: "Now, let's see if I remembered everything. A blanket, a sword and an extra pair of socks. Yep, that's all a guy needs on a journey."

or

Aragorn: "I don't get this logic game. Oh, wait, Arwen has switched it on women's logic."

[The Only Real Estel]

Having cut off his right arm already, Aragorn discovers the difficulty of trying to cut off his left with no help.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

It's been three days and Aragorn still cannot work out how to open a Jam jar.

OR

There was only one little piece of rapping paper left; yet Aragorn was still not sure what the gift was.

[mormegil]

Aragorn muttering to himself: No! No! No! It's all worng! Stupid Hobbit, thinking he is helping but doesn't know that this should be on this buckle should be on the third whole not the fourth. Ahhhh! I can't go on this way. Doesn't he know that if it's not right I will die in battle.

'Gorn shows his little known OCD.

[Lalwendë]

Aragorn makes sure his beloved security blanket is secured to the saddle, as he cannot contemplate a quest without it.


OR


Aragorn tries to decipher the washing instructions on his cloak. "OK, so it says I must not put a circle within a square? What does that mean?"*




*with thanks to davem who uttered something very like this yesterday while examining the label on his scarf. :D

[The Only Real Estel]

Sure, those new mini palantirs saved space, but they made confronting Sauron a hundred times more difficult.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Aragorn tries desperately to unravel the new picture.

http://img-nex.theonering.net/images/scrapbook/5101.jpg

Legolas: I demand to know what you are sniggering at!

Eomer: Your fly is undone.

OR

Eomer: The target is the other way.

[Valier]

Legolas:Itchy eye have you?Let me get that for ya!

or

Legolas:What you say about my Momma?!!!!

or

Eomer:Bet ya can't hit that horse head thingy on my helmet!
Legolas:UUMMMM Ok,if you say so!
Crowd chanting:Fight! Fight !Fight! Fight!

[mormegil]

The riders in the back seemingly have a poor sense of target.

[Gil-Galad]

Legolas: I CHALLENGE YOU TO MORTAL COMBAT

Eomer: hes still doing that?

Aragorn: yep, he can't last 5 minutes without challenging someone

Legolas: hey! i heard that! i challenge youto Mortal Combat!

[Kuruharan]

Legolas: The feather is tickling my…ah…ah…AH-CHOOO!!!

Arrow: *thunk*

Eomer: Bless you! dies

[Kitanna]

Eomer: Your arrow seems to be made of cardboard.

or

Legolas: No one insults my frock!

or

Aragorn and Gimli stand back as Legolas challenges Eomer to a duel. The men of Rohan are about to learn why it is unwise to make fun of an elf's hairstyle.

[Elu Ancalime]

Legolas draws the Eored's attention while Aragorn steals Eomer's No. 2 pencil.
________
No2 Vaporizer Reviews (http://no2vaporizer.net)

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Man behind Aragorn: Look at the size of that wart on the elf's face!

OR

Legolas: Tell your friend to get his spear out of my face!

[luthien-elvenprincess]

During a highly tense moment...Legalas realizes that once again he positioned the feather end of his arrow too near his nose. "Mustn't sneeze", (he tells himself), "mustn't wiggle nose...it's way too cute when I do that and makes it hard to look tough...mustn't sneeze..."

[Gurthang]

Clearly Legolas's small arrows are out of style; bigger ones are definitely 'in'.

OR

Legolas caught his finger on his lip when he drew back his bow.

OR

Orlando Bloom: "PJ, I've had it with you ruining the real Legolas!"

or (a variation of the same)

"My name is Orlando Bloom. You ruined my character. Prepare to die."

OR

Aragorn: "Gimli, don't look now, but he's got a giant spider on his head..."

[Naria]

The crowd tries to stop Legolas....

Aragorn: No Gimli, soon enough he'll realize the Eomer isn't an orc!!

[Holbytlass]

Legolas: Just one! One in the rump!

Eored: NO! We like his uncloaking!

[Bêthberry]

Eomer: "Is this going to turn into a Black Knight versus White Knight kind of thing? (http://www.intriguing.com/mp/_pictures/grail/large/HolyGrail021.jpg)

OR

Legolas: "I see the Singing and dancing Knights have appeared (http://www.intriguing.com/mp/_pictures/grail/large/HolyGrail040.jpg)

OR

Aragorn: "Anyone fancy a a bit of chat? (http://www.intriguing.com/mp/_pictures/grail/large/HolyGrail014.jpg)

[The Only Real Estel]

Gimli: "You know, it's times like these that I really wish I wasn't his Siamese twin. No Aragorn, don't try to pull us apart - I've already tried that."

[Lhunardawen]

Legolas: "You! You stole my raspberry shampoo! Prepare to die!"

OR

Legolas: "What do you mean I have a stray hair strand? I keep my hair perfectly tied, and if ever just one strand escapes from that ponytail holder, I'll take an unexpected eternal vacation in the Halls of Mandos!"

*stray hair strand falls over his face*

The End.

[Maeggaladiel]

Pulling the arrow to his nose, Legolas prepares the most dangerous weapon in his arsenal: the Snot Rocket.

OR

Eomer: You can't scare me; I can tell you've got the safety on.


OR

Legolas endures one too many "He looks like a girl!" comments.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Éomer: What business does a Man, a Woman, and a Child have in the Riddermark? Speak quickly!

Gimli: Child? I am no child!

Legolas: And I no woman. *draws bow*

[Kuruharan]

Legolas: So help me...if I hear one more uncloaking joke!!!

[Gurthang]

Legolas: "Eomer, don't move... there's a fly on your nose."

[Lhunardawen]

Legolas: "No, you can't turn me into a porcupine without my consent."

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Legolas: I'M NOT TRESPASSING, OKAY!

Éomer: Sheesh, what's wrong with you? We were just asking for directions.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Aragorn wonders if Legolas will realise that he and Gimli are in quick sand.

OR

Legolas: Look out, Eomer! There are loads of horses around here!

All: *groan*

[Gandalf_the _white]

Legolas: Right! Give me back my shampoo and nobody gets hurt! :mad:

[Anguirel]

Eomer and his kind Riders stop to help the Elf with an arrow caught in his teeth...

[dancing spawn of ungoliant]

Like in any proper sport event, it was perfecly acceptable to try to distract your opponent's concentration as much as possible. There were some who would have said that Eomer might have took it a bit too far by going to stand right in front of the target, though.

or

The riders in the back seemingly have a poor sense of target. Eomer's company were those loyal to Rohan, and for that they were banished. At times, Eomer couldn't help thinking that there had to be something else, too, why the king didn't want them to fight along with other soldiers of Rohan.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

The spear protruding from Legolas' head caught everyone's attention. But he defended it with his life!

[Meela]

Legolas is caught in a momentary panic as he realises his hair is tangled in his bow string.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Legolas: You just stepped on my puppy... Prepare to die!

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

The moment before Legolas admits that he cannot tell east from west

or

.Aragorn to Gimli: If we don't move they will go away

[Lalwendë]

At the White Horse Inn Darts Championship, it became clear that Legolas hadn't quite understood the principles of the game.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Aragorn: Right, they’re distracted, Gimli, fancy going down the Dragon for a swift half?

Gimli: I thought you'd never ask.

[Kath]

Legolas: Don't worry guys, I've seen Hercules, I can take all these guys out with one arrow!

Aragorn and Gimli: :rolleyes:

[The Only Real Estel]

As the three multi-lynch victims of the day are surrounded, Legolas (wolf) decides to go down fighting while Aragorn (wolf) hopes to escape with Gimli (wolf) while the villagers are distracted.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Legolas: Don't move. There's a fly on your nose.

[The Only Real Estel]

Legolas: "Come on, give in! I can't hold this pose much longer, the feathers on his blasted arrow are tickling my nose!"

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Legolas: Say 'what' one more time! I dare you! I double dare you! Say it one more time!

[The Only Real Estel]

Legolas: "My name is Legolas Greenleaf; you killed my love interest. Prepare to die."

Eomer: "Look elf, the only things we've killed are a bunch of Uruks, so...oh, that's just wrong." :eek:

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Legolas: Let us go or I swear to Elbereth I WILL SHOOT YOU!!!

Éomer: You're bluffing. Your right hand is glued to your face.

Legolas: Darn.

[Gil-Galad]

Legolas: Let us go or I swear to Elbereth I WILL SHOOT YOU!!!

Éomer: You're bluffing. Your right hand is glued to your face.

Legolas: Darn.


instead of darn... "Blast Foiled again! to the Elf-Cave!!!"

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Aragorn: Okay, just back away... very slowly...

OR

Legolas: They DO have wings!

Eomer: Don't be ridiculous! Why would they have wings if they don't use them?

Legolas: 'Coz' they look cool!

[The Only Real Estel]

Gimli: "Let's see. Which ones of you are the women with the fake beards I heard about in the documentaries?"

Aragorn: "Gimli, not a good time."

[Mithalwen]

An unusual aspect of elf technology was that a Lorien Bow could fire an arrow in the normal way while also launching a mortar at a tangent....

[The Elf-warrior]

Legolas: "I am sick of bad Rohirric closed captioning!"

http://i33.photobucket.com/albums/d78/ShelobsBane/lotr-3-1807-gandalf-worm.jpg

Gandalf: "Behold, I am the Phial of Galadriel!"

[Kath]

Gandalf: No . . . frozen . . . can't . . . uncloak!

[Gil-Galad]

Gandalf: i never wanted to be a Wizard... i always wanted to be... A LAMP-POST!

Aragorn: and we follow him why?

Gimli: he got the money and the right realtives

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Gandalf was taken by suprise when Galadriel emptied a bucket of withe paint over him. (wich was really strange as he was standing in Medusel in front of Theoden)

[Meela]

Gandalf's camouflage suits never did catch on.

[Meneltarmacil]

THEODEN: Would you mind telling me how I'm supposed to fight Orcs now that you've blinded me for life?

[Lhunardawen]

Gandalf: "Behold, I am the Phial of Galadriel!""Begone, Inktomi Slurp Spider (http://forum.barrowdowns.com/showthread.php?t=10968)!"

[Maeggaladiel]

Gandalf learns why you're not supposed to stick your toe in a light socket.

OR

"By jove, Holmes; it's the Wizard of the Baskervilles!!"


OR

THE ALIENS ARE ABDUCTING GANDALF!! WHAT DO WE DO?! WHAT DO WE DO?!

[Kuruharan]

Gandalf the flour dumpling strikes again.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Aragorn: Since when did Théoden have lazar vision?

OR

When Théoden uncloaked, Gandalf exploded.

OR yet!

Gandalf tries to impress at his latest job interview.

[Kuruharan]

Gandalf: Theoden, go to the Dagobah system!

[Glirdan]

Gandalf: I SHALL RULE.... OO!! Hobbit!! (if you look closely, there's a dark shadow running in front of Gandalf that looks like a Hobbit)

or

Legolas: So THAT'S what Gandalf has under his cloak!!!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Gandalf: I shall call down the fire of a thousand Balrogs upon this abomination!

Théoden: Calm down, this happens every time we play chess.

[Elu Ancalime]

Gandalf brings himdelf to Thedens's court as living proof of unstable elements in the Glittering Caves; thus Rohan defends itself not at the Hornburg, but protests Saurumans using nuclear uruks and what radiation can do to Middle-Earth's delicate biosphere.
________
GIRLFRIENDS PICS (http://girlfriendpics.org)

[Eonwe]

Gandalf:

It's time to look sooooo good...glowing white!

[Lalwendë]

Theoden: "Gandalf clearly uses Persil. Why can't you get my robes that white, Eowyn?"

[Gil-Galad]

Theoden: argh, you have blinded me!

Aragorn: ooooh can we say lawsuit

Gimli: lawsuit

Aragorn: huh?

Gimli: huh?

Aragorn can we say... stupid dwarf

Gimli: stupid dwa- hey!

[Elu Ancalime]

Theoden(whispering to Eowyn):I think he's a White Wizard or something....

Eowyn: dee dee-dee!
________
Starcraft 2 Replays (http://screplays.com/)

[The Only Real Estel]

Theoden: "I said I wanted Han Solo encased in carbonite, not Rip Van Winkle!!!"

[Lhunardawen]

Gandalf: "I am the Ghost of the Christmas Past...."

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Gandalf: Struck by lightning, struck by lightning!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Théoden: Hay, nice white robes, Gandalf.

Gandalf: I'm not wearing any robes. I just let my Beard grow a bit.

All: ...

OR

Gandalf acts as Rohan's first traffic light system. But no one knows what a white light means.

OR yet!

Legolas: Look! Gandalf is glowing!

All: *Groan*

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Gimli: What's Gandalf doing?

Aragorn: Must have mistaken Théoden for a Balrog.

[Gurthang]

Most people think that some guy discovered electricity by flying a kite with a key on it. Gandalf had that whole 'electric glow' figured out way before then.

OR

Gandalf: "I have an idea!"

OR

Theoden: "Does he always glow like that?"
Aragron: "Only when he's starved for attention... so yes, he does always glows like that."

OR

Theoden: "Uhm, Gandalf, you forgot to paint the bottom of your hat."

OR

Gandalf performs his electric eel impersonation.

[Lalwendë]

Gandalf: "Whoa! Check out me glowsticks! They're bangin'!"

Aragorn: "Um, this is Edoras, not Ibiza..."

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

The ol' 'cotton-wool 'n' glue' trick was a favourite in Rohan. Gandalf found out the hard way.

[Gurthang]

The ol' 'cotton-wool 'n' glue' trick was a favourite in Rohan. Gandalf found out the hard way.

Almost like a toned down version of being tarred and feathered. :D

OR

Gandalf is attacked by a black blob of nothingness.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Gandalf: See! Back in my day we had to make our own light! None of these new fangled candles! We didn't even have the sun! Yeah, we had to make do with lamps and trees...

Aragorn: Not again. Fancy a drink, Gimli?

Gimli: Of course.

Legolas: I like trees...

OR

Gandalf is melting Théoden's hair.

[Maeggaladiel]

"Me, steal your phosphorus?! Whyever would you suspect such a thing?!"

[The Elf-warrior]

http://i33.photobucket.com/albums/d78/ShelobsBane/weathertop.jpg

Pippin: "I'm hungry."

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Pippin: I'm sure we've been here before.

;)

Or

Frodo: Gandalf! No-ooo! Not the Cloak!

[Meela]

Sam takes the opportunity to steal that last bit of lembas from Frodo's pack.

OR

The rest of the Istari join forces with Gandalf to create an unstoppable uncloaking army.

Frodo: They're everywhere!
Merry: Noooo!
Pippin: I'm blinded!
Sam: *is distracted by the lembas*

[Eonwe]

All: It's time to look sooooo good...with wavy hair!

[Formendacil]

While Frodo, Merry, and Pippin look around in fear for the Black Riders, Sam notices that Pippin's right ear has begun to mutate...

[Kitanna]

Sam's brain: I could eat Pippin, I just need to get through Frodo first...

or

Pippin: If we all look in different directions, we'll appear more dramatic.

[Kuruharan]

The hobbits watch dumbfounded as the Nazgul disembark from the UFO.

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Sam, Frodo, Merry and Pippin is demonstrating the classical "hide behind one another" Military tactic that has always been the most used tactic among hobbits.

[Bêthberry]

Bad Hair Day in The Shire

OR

Sam: "Mullets, I said, mullets. But did you listen to me?"

[Kath]

Sam: Right, time to put those pointers Leggy gave me to good use. Stand tall, look soulfully at the camera and always be in the centre of the shot. Well, 1 out of 3 ain't bad!

[Azaelia of Willowbottom]

Pippin: Remember what Strider taught us...Look the wraiths in the eye and charge...
Frodo: You first.
Sam: What he said.

[The Only Real Estel]

Frodo: "No! Not the Blackriders!"

Pippin & Merry: "Hey look! There's Elvis going into that supermarket!!"

[Roa_Aoife]

Pippin: Allright, we've got the flag, now we just have to make it back to base with out getting noticed.

Sam: ACK! Too late! Run!

[Valier]

Sam:How come they all got swords and all I got was this lousy carrot!

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Pippin: So, where's the line to Hogwarts?

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Sam notices the 'Kick Me' sign on Frodo's back.

OR

Pippin: It’s a Balrog!

Merry: No, it can't be, it has wings.

Sam: :rolleyes:

[Gurthang]

Sam: "I knew Hobbits have pointy ears!"

OR

Pippin: "What's that light? It's so... luring."
Frodo: "Don't go towards the light!"
Merry: "I can't help it. It's so beautiful!"

OR

Yet again, Frodo's hair takes on a life of it's own.

OR

Pippin: "I look so good with my matching cloak and suspenders!"

OR

Merry: "Everyone! Look left!"
Frodo: "What?! I don't see anything!"
Sam: "You're other left, Mr. Frodo."

OR(For those who have seen the RotK Easter Eggs)

Sean Astin can't help but stare at Elijah Wood's Big... Blue...

[Lalwendë]

When the Hobbits appeared on Stars In Their Eyes.

Pippin: "Tonight, Matthew, we're going to be The Darkness!"

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Pippin: What do you think made those footprints?

Frodo: Erm... that?

OR

Paladin Took: Frodo Baggins, don’t' you dare cut Pippin's hair!

Pippin: What?

[The Only Real Estel]

Frodo: "Dang it! We missed our train!"

Merry & Pippin: "Uh, don't look now, but there's another coming!" :eek:

[Elu Ancalime]

Frodo: There's an Oliphaunt coming this way!

Merry: And an SUV coming from the other direction! Don't stare into the headlights, Pip!!!!

Pippen: *drools* pretty lites.....

Sam: Idiots. It's IMAX, not.......<sigh>.......Am I the only one who is in this century? I have to check their email for them, turn on the DVD...........

OR

3

2

1

*BEEP*

Slayer

Merry: Eeek! Level 2 Spartans! And their using Flashlights! :eek:

Frodo: And Grunts over here! We're goners! :eek:

Pippen: A! L1! B! Control Pad Left! :confused:

Sam: Why am I always stuck those noobs.....
________
Honda VT250 history (http://www.honda-wiki.org/wiki/Honda_VT250)

[Holbytlass]

Frodo: (worried look) I thought we were to go this way.
Merry: (worried look) And I thought this way.
Pippin: (worried look) Maybe this way?
Sam: ( :rolleyes: look) I hate Mapquest.

[Gurthang]

The Hobbits search for the last Easter Egg.
Frodo: "Is that it over there?"
Pippin: "No, I think it's that up there."
Merry: "No, Pip, that's a bowling ball."
Sam(thinking): Haha, I already have it. http://www.corsaclub.de/smilies/23.gif

OR

The Hobbits are being arrested by the Bad Hair Police.

OR

Frodo: "Someone touched my butt!"
Merry: "Somebody just touched my butt!"
Sam: :D http://www.corsaclub.de/smilies/23.gif
Pippin has no idea that anything is happening.

OR

Any random caption where Merry and Frodo realize that something is happening, Sam has a completely guilty evil look that screams 'I did it', and Pippin appears all together clueless.

[Lhunardawen]

Sam takes a moment to steal a glance of himself on Frodo's sword.

OR

Sam (singing silently): "Three blind mice, three blind mice..."
Frodo, Merry and Pippin altogether swing towards a singular direction. With their swords.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Pippin: Wow. Gandalf just exploded.

OR

Frodo remembers that he left the Ring in his other trousers.

[gralin musicteeth]

Sam: I think it's time for a new picture...


http://www.propworld.nu/bilder/Gimli_guest.jpg

[HerenIstarion]

Gimli: Ah, Gralin Musicteeth is back!

or, with regards to teeth ;):

Gimli: No, not a dentist, please, no, no! Barber?!! Than a barber?!! Neither a barber, please, no! I'll take a bath, I promise!

[Lalwendë]

Gimli was fuming mad when he realised that due to his brother's prank with the superglue, he was doomed to wear the salad bowl on his head for the rest of his life.

[Anguirel]

Gimli is informed that his character has been cut in favour of "another cool stunt-doing elf, to attract the teen audience"

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Someone put a fork on Gimli's chair.

OR

Gimli's helmet begins to shrink.

[Fordim Hedgethistle]

Gimli (emptying the diaper pail in a twin's nursery): EEAAAACCCCK!

[mormegil]

The first unclocking witnessed is always the hardest.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

You know that scene where Legolas shoots the arrow between Gimli's legs? It wasn't a first take...

[Lalwendë]

Gimli dons his helmet as he crafts a new thread about Balrogs not having wings.

[Kitanna]

Gimli: Soylent Green is made out of WHAT?!

[Kuruharan]

Shouldn't...have...had...that...last...taco...

[The Only Real Estel]

When you're out in the Wild & have nothing else to use...

Legolas: "Uh, Gimli, I think those leaves were poison ivy."

Gimli: "P-poison ivy!!!???"

[elronds_daughter]

Even worse than seeing Gandalf the Grey uncloaked is seeing Isenguard unleashed....

[Hookbill the Goomba]

When Gimli said, 'My feet are killing me' no one thought he meant it literally.

OR

Legolas: Sorry, Gimli, I'm afraid I lost Galdriel's hair in a game of Poker with Eomer. Man that guy can play. He cleaned me dry. I also bet him all Anduril and your axe. I hope you don't mind.

[CaptainofDespair]

Gimli realized his mother was right. He should have listened when she warned him about his face freezing, but he only mocked her short, stubby beard.

Or

Gimli forgot his Preparation H in Imladris.

[mormegil]

Gimli was just told that he did not get the role he wanted in the upcoming play on Snow White but rather he was selected as Dopey.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Someone filled Gimli's helmet with custard.

OR

The 'kick me' sign on Gimli's back was really starting to annoy him.

[elronds_daughter]

Hookbill, you have too much time on your hands...


Gimli realizes that he forgot to turn off the automatic coffee-maker before he left home.

[Glirdan]

Gimli's reaction while watching the live version of "They're Taking the Hobbits to Isengard!" (http://forum.barrowdowns.com/showthread.php?t=12145&highlight=Taking+Hobbits+Isengard)

or

Mount Zoom ran out of gas just in front of Gimli.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Mount Zoom ran out of gas just in front of Gimli.

OR

Mount Zoom ran over Gimli's foot. :D

(e-d, I do have far too much time. :p )

[Valier]

Gimili: Do I have anything in my teeth?

Legolas:EEEWWWWW put those away!

Gimli closes his mouth with a frown

Legolas: You just made me throw up a little..and I refuse to have ill smelling breath.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Gimli gets his beard stuck in the typewriter again.

[The Only Real Estel]

Gimli: "In-laws!!??

[mormegil]

The four hobbits, who were woefully unfamilar with dwarvish etiquette and customs, didn't realize that, even though it is a well known fact, asking Gimli how it feels to be inbred was no appropriate at the time.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Mustelidaphobia, the fear that somehow, somewhere, a badger is watching you, strikes again.

[The Only Real Estel]

Villager Gimli (wolf) reacts not-so-subtly when informed of the news that the wolves accidently killed their beloved Cobbler Kath during the night.

[Valesse]

Sure to be on Gilmi's Driver's liscence.

OR

Gimli: What do you mean? I am smiling!

OR

Much to Gilmi's horror, he was actually quite the dwarf-lady's man.

[Elu Ancalime]

*offscreen lady with slight english accent*

Orbit Gum! It gives you that clean feeling.

OR

Elrond: Did I say Gloin went with Balin to Moria? I meant...um, Gloin and Dwalin went to Narnia! Yeah, that's it! ;)

Gimli: :eek: *muttering through anger and emotion*Never trust an elf..... :mad:
________
Medical marijuana (http://medicalmarijuana.us/)

[Oddwen]

Gimli: "No, no, NO! I told you I wanted Durin's Knot, not Narvi's Square engraved on my helmet, you fool!"

Or...

"Is that any way to speak to a lady?!?"

[Kuruharan]

Gimli: Oliphaunt…on…foot…

[Hookbill the Goomba]

After Haldir's 'The Dwarf breathes so loud' comment, Gimli tries to cut back... with little success.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Gimli realises that she is her own mother.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Gimli: They are replacing me? HOW DARE THEY!

http://img-nex.theonering.net/images/scrapbook/11533.jpg

Merry slowly realized, after pulling the handle off, that Train driving was not for him.

OR

Merry: So, witch end to I hold the sword with?

[Thinlómien]

Merry: So this is the thing you call by the name sword?

[Kitanna]

Merry: How am I supposed to defend myself if the sword is made of plastic?

[Hookbill the Goomba]

This time, there would be no uncloaking. Merry was on the hunt! :eek:

OR

Merry: Sir, my sword won't work.

Théoden: take it out of the scabbard.

P.S. 2,000th post for me. :D

[elronds_daughter]

Merry: You have called me 'Shorty' for the last time......FEAR MY WRATH!!!

[Oddwen]

Rohirrim: You take the sword, and pledge it to the King.

Merry: Okay, I take the sword, kill something and then do what with the king?

Rohirrim: No, no. You don't kill something. You pledge the sword to the king.

Merry: I don't understand.

Rohirrim: You just offer him your pledge. Take the sword...

Merry: ... and kill the king. Gotcha.

Rohirrim: No, no!

[mormegil]

Merry *thinking*: Now what was I suppose to do with this thing?

or

Thinking again: I wonder if I could trim down my bulbous nose with this.

or

Merry was wondering what Theoden meant when he gave him the sword and said, 'be careful not to shoot your eye out kid'.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Merry keeps his sword in its scabbard because he dropped it down the stairs and broke it.

OR

Merry: Hmm, some of these Rohirum could do with a haircut.

[CaptainofDespair]

Some folks thought Merry to be rather loose...in the head. He was always wandering about with his sword, muttering and whatnot. A few curious folks had even said that they had seen him doing terrible, horrible things. But Merry always denied being the 'Bagshot Row Hedge-Killer'.

[Gothmog]

Merry: I offer thee my sword, my king.

Theoden: That's not your sword... Hey, it's mine!

OR

Merry stood there dumbstruck. He had never been very good with (s)words.

OR

From Merry's photo album: I travelled all over the world, saved a queen and wounded the worst enemy there was and all I got was this lousy sword!

[Gurthang]

Merry: "Hah! Let's see old Ted Sandyman beat me up now!"

OR

Merry: http://www.corsaclub.de/smilies/23.gif <---evil smiley!! :D

OR

Merry(thinking): Why can't I get a real sword... like Aragorn's? *looks longingly*

OR

Theoden: "Get it! A short sword for a short man! HAHAHAHA!"
Rohirrim soldiers: "HAHAHAHAHA!"
Merry: :mad: *stabs Theoden*

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

While the rest of the Rohirrim ride off the Gondor, Merry gets left behind . . . peeling potatoes.

[THE Ka]

Even with an incrouching battle ahead, Merry still had enough time to show off his hidden talent of an antique dealer.

M: Now, you see if this had still had the emblem of the two horses from the First line then you wouldn't have problem selling it, now would you?!

R: It's just a long knife!

M: Gasp I'm without words! How could you not tell the beauty, no, no - the refinement of this piece! Besides... I think Eomer would trust me with a full length sword once he took time to admire my antique skills!

R: Ah, sure... Whatever you like, how much do you want for this?

M: This? Nah, it's a piece of junk...

~ Aesthete

[Eonwe]

The Rohirrim on the front porch:

R1: Yeah, back in teh winter of 2758, we was holed up in that there place, Helm's Deep. Well you ain't never seen no winter like that 'un. I tell ye', the snow was so thick, you coudn' see more'n three feet!

R2: Aye, an' I tell ye', these here young un's these days, I tell ye' they woudn' know what tu do with themselve for more'n three hours without all their polo, an' ridin' school, and pa-RADES, an' competitions.

R3: We was men before our time back then. How times has changed. What's these young un's coming too. I tell you, me pappy, he wunda store fer no high class, country-club livin', not back in '58, I tell ya!

*all three stare off into the horizon, slowly rocking their rocking chairs*

[The Elf-warrior]

Merry: "Who says I can't hunt wargs with you big folks?"

Eomer: "Sorry shorty! You're just plain too small."

Merry: (To himself.) "I... Have... Been... Snubbed!"

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Outraged by the injustice shown by the film to Wargs, Merry decides to send a message.

Merry: Now, if only I could find a big enough wall to etch grafitti in . . .

[Valesse]

If it weren't for a lucky interruption, Merry's last thought very well could have been "I wonder if I can juggle this blindfolded..."

[Hookbill the Goomba]

The 'sortie' jokes were getting out of hand, so Merry was trying to shrink Théoden by using psychic powers... It wasn't working quite the way he wanted it to.

OR

Théoden: I now pronounce you a knight of Rohan. You may stand.

Merry: I am standing.

Théoden: Oh... erm... then stay standing.

[Precioussss]

Can I post another picture? Or is it too early? oh well. I'll do it anyway.

http://www.jedielfqueen.com/lotr/costumes/eomer/armorcompare2.jpg

[Oddwen]

Eomer: Mirror mirror on the wall...wait a minute...I don't look like that...do I?

Or...

Eomer looks at his portrait sadly. He probably shouldn't have let that insane blind Druadan try to paint him.

Or...

Eomer looks at his likeness with some measure of gilt.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Merry pic:

Sword salesman: Okay, do you want to see the warrantee?

Merry: Okay... ... What's this, 'Warrantee will be void if sword used to stab Witch King or indeed any super natural being.' Pfft. I don't think I'll be doing that.

[Valier]

Eomer: PPPPsssttttttttttttttt! Did you get me that stuff I was looking for?

Soldier:Ya...But Sir I don't understand! Why do you want woman's undergarments?

Eomer:There for my sister....Ya that's it...My Sister!

[Roa_Aoife]

Unbeknownst to the Fellowship, Eomer was about to be replaced with an agent of the Dark Lord.

Eomer: They'll never fall for it, you villain! I'm much prettier than you!
Replacement: Fortunately, Legolas is so distracting that no one will ever notice!*evil laugh*
Eomer: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

[THE Ka]

E: It's so beautiful, I can't - Wait... Is that blood on it's hands?! I wonder where that came from...
A quick glance given to Grima, stabbed to death in the corner....


~ Aesthete

[Kitanna]

Tonight on Middle-Earth's number one soap opera, As the Horse Gallops, Eomer is confronted by his evil twin, thought to have died in season two...
Eomer: But I saw you fall off that cliff and I saw the rock that impaled you.
Evil Twin: No, for you see that was my evil twin, your evil triplet.
Tune in next week for the shocking conclusion

[Lalwendë]

Third Marshall Imposter: "Can I borrow your belt? My trousers are falling down."

Eomer: "Only if I can borrow your hair straighteners."

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Guy dressed as Eomer: And this will confuse all the Mordor troops, will it?

Real Eomer: Yes. Now shut up and go out there!

OR

Eomer: Haven't I seen you somewhere before?

[elronds_daughter]

Eomer: Now, all you have to do is go lead the cavalry into a nasty battle and die a glorious and honorable death.

Eomer's double: Oh. Okay......wait! Death?!?!

Eomer: Psh. Easy as pie. You don't have to spend four days with your mother-in-law.

[Gothmog]

I think it's time for a new thread on the Downs: Eomer's armor........vs Eomer's evil twin's armor?

OR

Eomer: Ha! You don't even look like me! Don't come here and think that you are me!
Fake Eomer: "Ha! You don't even look like me! Don't come here and think that you are me!"
E: Hey stop that!
FE: "Hey stop that!"
E: You want a fight or what?
FE: "You want a fight or what?"
E: Ok, that's it. You've had your warning. Now I'll... I'll... I'll tell Eowyn!

FE: NOOOO! Not the Maid of the Stew! AAAaaahhhh....! *disappears at the horizon*

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Eomer was unconvinced that Triple H was the right man to lead the army of Rohan.

(Come on—that is spitting image stuff right there!)

[Gil-Galad]

Eomer: My mom makes better Armour then your mom!

[Elu Ancalime]

Auditions for Eomer for TTT and RotK were a bit different than others. There were so many respected actors trying out, PJ left it up to themselves: A Dance Off. Actor after actor got served, and in the end it was Karl Urban vs Talen Ted Dannser. This was indeed the Battle for Middle-Earth, and as they stared each other down, they knew It Was On.
________
Lincoln Continental Mark V Picture (http://www.ford-wiki.com/wiki/Lincoln_Continental_Mark_V)

[Maeggaladiel]

Sarumon's attempts at cloning Eomer were all met with failure. If only he had a better cardboard cut-out for reference...

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Eomer: So.... ... Come here often?

OR

Eomer: What time's the next bus?

[Gurthang]

Eomer: "PJ, this stunt double looks nothing like me!"

OR

Eomer: "No, that's not it at all. You have to glower angrily like this. *glowers angrily*"
Small child runs away crying.
Eomer wannabe: "I just don't know how you do it so well. I'll never be able to glower like you can."
Eomer: "That's okay, not everyone can be a great glowerer.*glowers again to show off*"

OR

Eomer: "If you dare kiss me I will cut off your head."

OR

Eomer: "Stupid house of mirrors. More like house of mirrors-that-make-me-see-horrible-looking-reflections-of-myself."

[Lhunardawen]

Merry pic

An internal debate concerning the use of the sword goes on between Merry and his LGMs...

[The Only Real Estel]

Get the phantom's mail order beatification deal today! Go from dull hair & a bad Abe Lincoln to a hot stud with sexy hair! (see before & after pics)

Only $79.99 or five easy payments of $20.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Eomer: There’s nothing trivial about the over sixty-five's all postman's Eomer look-a-like contest.

OR (the obligatory)

Eomer: Okay, you go left, I'll go right. Gandalf won't know where to uncloak.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

An inter-dimensional staring contest between Éomer and an Éomer wannabe.

[Lhunardawen]

Grima's being more and more desperate to get Eowyn.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

You have to admit, door-to-door mirror salesman is an honourable job.

[Valesse]

Merry picture:

At first skipping second breakfast wasn't so much of a problem, but after so many months without the hobbits were beginning to get a wee bit belligerant.

Eomer picture:

Try the new, patiented Entish Bow-Flex!
Eomer did... and just look at the difference it made!

[Meela]

Eowyn's disguise was so good that even Grima couldn't tell the difference, as Eomer learnt when that hand materialised on his behind yet again.

[Boromir88]

Eomer: How come I have a strange feeling someone's watching me?

Or...

"There's an easier way to get what the pros wear. Shop for your favorite characters items at rohan.com."

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Eomer: What's that?

Fake: I don't know. But it looks like a picture. And a New one.

http://img-nex.theonering.net/images/scrapbook/1778.jpg

The Hobbits after the visiting the worst restaurant in Middle Earth (Named Eowyn's soup stop)

OR

Merry: What's the Balrog doing?

Frodo: Having a nervous break down.

[Maeggaladiel]

Pippin: The Nasgul! They're writing something in the sky!
Frodo: "Surrender... Dorothy?"

OR

Frodo: Who's that uncloaked fellow? Is that... Gandalf?
Sam: But, 'ee's supposed to be dead!


OR

The hobbits listen, confused.
"So the hills really ARE alive with the sound of music!"

[Gurthang]

Merry: "When I said I was the tall one, I didn't want it to mean I would be standing in the back."

OR

Frodo: "What is that?!"
Pippin: "It couldn't be."
Sam: "Why is there a Starbucks in the middle of the Wild?"
Merry: "Whoa. This is way too much like the Twilight Zone or something."

OR

The Hobbits try to ask for directions, but the man mumbles so badly that they can't understand a word he says.
Man: "Thnt ka ight aft ha tuh ks he scot soh." (Then take a right after the Castle sign.)
Frodo: "Thank the knight after he takes his clothes off!"

[Hookbill the Goomba]

The Hobbits were amazed at whet fell out of Gimli's beard when he combed it.

OR

Ents playing football (soccer for all ye americans) against the stone giants was sometimes upsetting... especially when they used Hobbits as the ball.

[dancing spawn of ungoliant]

It was Michael Flatley and his Riverdancing orcs.

[Lalwendë]

Frodo: "Ugh, that Lembas has given me heartburn. Anyone got any milk of magnesia on them?"




OR




Frodo: "You know when we were in Lorien and used the showers? Did any of you guys happen to see if I left a Ring behind in my locker?"

[The Only Real Estel]

Man/Eomer pic: The original two Wedding Crashers had rather disproportionate success...

[Lalwendë]

For the last three days Frodo had felt sick every morning. But how was he going to tell the other guys that he might be pregnant?

[elronds_daughter]

Frodo: What is THAT?!?!
Merry: I think it's Mt. Zoom.

OR

Frodo suddenly realizes he shouldn't have left his laxatives at home.

[Kath]

Frodo wonders if faking a heart attack will get him out of Ring duty.

[Anguirel]

The Hobbits are starting to get suspicious about this "free holiday prize to sunny Mordor..."

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Tra-la-la-lally was getting tiresome after the fourth day of Legolas singing it.

OR

Merry notices an off switch on Pippin's back.

[Lalwendë]

Blast from the past...

The Hobbits suddenly feel queasy as they realise that this is not the Misty Mountains but the guano of an Oliphaunt colony.

[Elu Ancalime]

Heartburn. Where in Middle-Earth will you be when it happens to you?

OR

Four Hobbits notice an Elf being mugged by two goblins, but instead of jumping into action, they stare and walk away. Advocate Justice in your Village.

OR

The Travellers watched in grief as a pile of mushrooms lay burning in the distance.......

Sam: "Mr Frodo, that big Eyes starin' at you funny....."
________
VOLCANO VAPORIZER (http://volcanovaporizer.net/)

[Bêthberry]

Pippin: "It's a bird; it's a plane; no, wait. It's the prequel to My Crow Management RPG on the Downs."

[malkatoj]

(This is too obvious for words, my apologies)

Frodo: What's that, over there?
Sam: It looks like...Gandalf...
Pippin: What's he doing?
Sam: Gandalf Uncloaked!
All: AHHHHHHHHHHH!

[The Only Real Estel]

Frodo: "Owwww, heartburn. I shouldn't have had that last slice of pepperoni pizza. Where's the Tums?"

[Maeggaladiel]

A Legolas/ Gimli Dance-Off was never a pretty sight.

[Lhunardawen]

The hobbits have never learned to smile, less so for the camera.

OR

The hobbits wonder if they should return to The Barrow-downs...and join The Hobbit CbC. ;)

[dancing spawn of ungoliant]

Sam: Moria.
Pippin: Moria.
Frodo: Moria.
Merry: It's only a model.
Sam: Shh.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

It seems that Sam used biological washing powder to wash Frodo's clothes... Frodo is allercic to it.

OR

Saruman attaching wheels to Orthank is not what they had expected to see at Isenguard.

[gralin musicteeth]

I have to post a new picture because I can't think of anything to write for the hobbit one.

http://elfynstar.net/images/LOTR-pics/saruman/saruman-1.jpg

[Anguirel]

SARUMAN: Aule! A glowing bouncy ball! How did you know that that was just what I wanted for Christmas?

[Kuruharan]

Saruman: Arrggh..."Answer Unclear"...AGAIN!!!

[Meela]

Never again will Saruman lose a game of Marbles.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

The moment before Saruman realised why no one spies on Gandalf.

OR

His love of the halfling's leaf has clearly messed with his mind.

[Lalwendë]

When Shane Warne found the 'special' cricket ball, he knew that the pommies would not be assured of victory next time.

[Holbytlass]

I see my future....I'm a dentist(?) but what new forms of torture!! MUWAHAHAHA!!

[dancing spawn of ungoliant]

It was in this moment when all hope had faded, that Saruman, anchor of the Heren Istarion team, took up his bowling ball and made a strike.

[narfforc]

"Do you think you could hide the truth from me , Gandalf. I see all things, nothing can hide from Saruman the all seeing, all knowing, I know things that trouble any mind I wish. Nothing can move in Middle-Earth without my knowledgaarrrgh Wormtongue you sneeky traitooooooooooooooorrrr

[Gandalf_the _white]

oooooo look at the pretty light!!!! :D

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Snow globes always brought a smile to Saruman's lips.

OR

Saruman: I see dead people.

[Lalwendë]

Saruman launches into the obligatory January rant: "Christmas has only just finished and the Easter Eggs are already in the shops!"

[Gurthang]

Saruman loves jawbreakers.

OR

Saruman: "Now they'll all think I can tell the future with this 'crystal ball'! It'll make me rich and famous!" *maniacal laugh*

OR

Saruman: "Yes! By hold my metal staff just right, I can get ESPN!"

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Palantir use took forever in Isengard, because Saruman was easily distracted by his outrageously handsome reflection.

[davem]

Saruman: 'Ah, Grima, well done! My favourite - prairie oyster!'

Grima: 'Er, well, master, there weren't any bulls about, but I found this dead warg....

[Elu Ancalime]

Sauruman to Gandalf: "Ha! Now that I've switched my plan to Pallan-tel, I can use this Palantir on top of Orthanc and not have to worry about fell beasts and horses disturbing the signal!!!"

Gandalf: "Puuushaw. I got a camera and textmessaging on my staff when I went to White."

Sauruman: "Curse capitalism and technology!!"

Gandalf: "You invented both of those."
________
FORD AXOD TRANSMISSION SPECIFICATIONS (http://www.ford-wiki.com/wiki/Ford_AXOD_transmission)

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Saruman catches Sauron at a bad time.

Sauron: Awww. But I was going to send out legions today!

Sauron's mother: Not until you've tidied this room, young Maiar!

Sauron: Not fair!

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Éomer pic

Éomer: I am pretty, oh so pretty . . .

Hobbits pic

Frodo: I left my heart in San Fransisco . . .

Saruman pic

Sauron: Sing once again with me, our strange duet. My power over you, grows stronger yet. And though you turn from me, to glance behind, the Phantom of the Black Tower is there, inside your mind.

[gralin musicteeth]

Saruman consults the Palantir to find out how to get his pointy staff removed from the side of his head.

[mormegil]

Another telemarketer contacts Sauraman at a bad time.

"No I am not interested in you credit card nor saving money on long distance!"

[Maeggaladiel]

Tired of rings and uruk-hai, Saruman creates his greatest invention yet: The One Paperweight To Rule Them All. All he had to do now was create twenty more and dupe the leaders of each race to accept one as a gift...

OR

Saruman loved the Garden Decoration of the Month Club. Last month he got a free garden gnome, and this month he recieved the perfect gazing ball to sit in the fountain by the back porch!

[narfforc]

"See how clever I am Gandalf, I have invented the first Videophone. Behold my marvelous PAL Hand T.V, The Seeing-phone of Orthanc.

Big screens and loud rings
With polytones three
How good it is, to have at hand
A thing with which to see
Seven styles of seven phones
With one its tariff free

[Hookbill the Goomba]

He's got the whole world in his hands. :p

Or

Crown Green Bowling was a little known pass time of Saruman's.