Crazy Captions

[Kath]

Boromir: There's a giant spider on you Aragorn and it's this big!

[narfforc]

If I roll it up nice and round, then flick it..............................................

[Hookbill the Goomba]

The evil cigar thief has struck again!

Look! There he goes! ---> :smokin:

[Kitanna]

narfforc got me thinking...

Boromir: The cookie dough ball must be this big or it won't work.

[the guy who be short]

Boromir: Yarr! I'm a pirate! Look at me periscope, and the fringe casually strewn across my face! Yarr... and me pirate's beard here.

[The Only Real Estel]

Originally, Boromir laughed off Elrond's prediction that one day Boromir would shorten his hair, slick it back, try to steal a piece of paper called 'The Decleration of Independence', & go off on some hunt for a 'national treasure', all the while pitted against some guy named 'Cage.'

[Kitanna]

Boromir shows the council how many movie roles he's had where he's survived...

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

"You hear this? This is the world's smallest violin playing the world's saddest song."

[Durelin]

"Still Sharpe. Not Sharp, you dolts."

[Boromir88]

Originally, Boromir laughed off Elrond's prediction that one day Boromir would shorten his hair, slick it back, try to steal a piece of paper called 'The Decleration of Independence', & go off on some hunt for a 'national treasure', all the while pitted against some guy named 'Cage.'~Only Real Estel
Then after that failed he would be the founder of Merrick Inc. and make a clone race that is brainwashed into believing a life that is false.

[Nimrodel_9]

Boromir: nuh uh! you need like a catapultI know where that came from! :D

Boro: No seriously! This pimple was like this big! And it was right smack.....!
Elrond: No! We've heard enough!
Legolas: Make it stop! Make it stop!!!

[wilwarin538]

Boro: You don't like my ideas? Fine then! I'll just sit here and eat my fingers while pretending there a donut.

(that was special ;) :rolleyes: )

[Gil-Galad]

sure its not you?

Boro: you can't just walk into Mordor with a soufle like that! it needs to be Magnifco!

[Meneltarmacil]

"And THIS is how many people can still remember that I'm the Disco King around here..." ;)

[CaptainofDespair]

Boromir: Look people...I have a plan to defeat Mordor. All I need is a rubberband, some chewing gum, and a toothpick, and I can build us an atomic bomb...

Or

Boro: Looky! I'm a unicorn!

[The Saucepan Man]

We have (http://forum.barrowdowns.com/showpost.php?p=360280&postcount=3219) done this (http://forum.barrowdowns.com/showpost.php?p=360315&postcount=3224) one before (http://forum.barrowdowns.com/showpost.php?p=360337&postcount=3231).

[Durelin]

*sighs* That's why I asked... :rolleyes:

[Oddwen]

It's a good one though, Durelin. :D

Boromir overdramatically threatens to bite his nails.

*sigh* more later, hopefully.

[Gurthang]

Boromir prepares to flick his freshly picked booger at Aragorn.

OR

Boromir: "I'm telling you, zero doesn't really exist! It's a philosophical(sp) illusion! It's just a concept to signify nothing, nill, zip, nada, zilch, nunka! You can't have zero of something, because it means nothing."

[The Only Real Estel]

Boromir: "And I guess he still thinks he has a shot at selling it to me so he tries to offer me 0% financing and everything!"

[WaynetheGoblin]

The ring is this big you think it will fit on my toung .:p

[Boromir88]

Boromir: There once was a Sea Monkey...and this itsy tiny sea monkey was going against all odds. I mean there aint much you can do if you're a sea monkey right? Well, this sea monkey was about to get eaten up. And jeez, that fat bloated whale gulped that thing up like it had no care for tiny little critters around it!

Elrond: Your Point?

Boromir: Point? Point? Must it have a point? I could have saved that Sea Monkey! That bugger is no bigger than the space between my two fingers, why must people pick on the weak? Why!? Why!?

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

So I was brushing my teeth......y'know? Like this?

[wilwarin538]

Boro: This is how many times Aragorn has taken a bath. :eek:

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Brormir: This is how much I like Hookbill's captions! And I hate this new picture even more!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v604/hukbillgoomba/011-What_now.jpg

Frodo: Look! I know you’re upset, but we sent out the invitations, its the post offices fault!

Merry: I don't think they are buying it.

Sam: Okay, Pippin, stall them!

Pippin: What?

[Kath]

Sam: Merry, no! I know Pippin's annoying but you can't stab him in the back!

Merry: Why not? I can blame it on them!

[Durelin]

Synchronized 'Kill the Hobbitses' is not a spectator sport.

[Kitanna]

Sam: "Get out of the house more, have an adventure" they said. Well look where it got us!
Merry: You don't have to rub it in, Sam.

[narfforc]

Frodo to Sam: I told you that it was unwise to ask for The Ballad of Gil-galad in a Goth Disco.

[mormegil]

Pippin: "Where did these guys learn to hold a sword? I mean I've seen foolish ways to hold a sword but this...I mean come on, how can you attack from this position"

[Naz]

When fangirls finally lose it.

Random Wraith #2: COME ON!! I want a SMOOCH!!! :mad:

Hobbits: O_O;

. :rolleyes:

[CaptainofDespair]

Pippin: Feelin' lucky, punks?

Witch-King: *looking at #2* Uhhh...I guess...Group huddle?

Nazgul #2: How about no? Remember the last time we huddled? You burst into flames, and set me on fire!

Wiki: You promised not to bring that up!

[narfforc]

Witch-King to The Nazgul: Who has brought The Morgul Blade?

Nazgul.................................Silence.

Witch-King: Well!

Nazgul, holding out a scalpel: I thought you said The Model Blade, lucky there`s not much to do, someone has already cut them down to size.

[Boromir88]

Ringwraith 1: Come on their harmless little hobbits...
Witch-King: No, you don't understand, they're evil! They've got sharp, pointy teeth, look at the b-o-nes!
Ringwraith 1: Nonsense, number two, go and deal with them.
Ringwraith two: Aye, sir.

Sam: I'm scared.
Merry: Give them Pippin. (pushes Pippin up).

(Pippin jumps and bites off Ringwraith two's head).

Ringwraith 1: Run away! Run Away!
Witch-King: I told you! I tried to warn you, but no you said they're just harmless little hamsters...

[Holbytlass]

Blackriders: 'Red rover, red rover, send Frodo on over!'

[dancing spawn of ungoliant]

Frodo: Beware the Witch King! He's the most dangerous of them all.
Pippin: How do we tell which one he is? They look all the same.

Witch King: Don't let Frodo escape! He's the most valuable of them all.
Ringwraith #2: How do we tell which one he is? They look all the same.

Or

The real estate was beautiful but the neighbours rather peculiar.

[Gil-Galad]

Sam: your arms off!

Nazgul: no its not

Sam: whats that then!

Nazgul: i've had worse!

[The Saucepan Man]

Sam: Er, Mr Frodo sir, I think that they might have been lying when they said that it was only a prayer meeting ...

[Bêthberry]

Sam: "I wish I had taken those dance lessons when Rosie wanted us to."
Frodo: "All the same, I'm not sure I want to tango with them."

OR"


Reader #1: "You know, I think this is a really bad interpretation of Druidic rituals."

Reader #2: "The Celts went in for this dark fantasy stuff?"

Reader #1: "I don't know if the Celts did, but these guys do."

[Oddwen]

Pippin: Ooh, the Hokey-Pokey! I love the Hokey-Pokey!

Or...

Fro: I can't believe it! They ate Merry in one bite!!!
Sam(enviously): Yeah...

[THE Ka]

At the tribal council, Frodo's gang finds that his last attempt at not sharing the ring has gotten them voted out...

Pippin: Hay! This isn't fair!
Merry: Yeah, no one said anything about alliances!
Sam: Mr. Frodo, I guess our time is over.
Frodo: No Sam, It's all my fault...

Nazgul #3: Damn right!

~ Ah, old reality tv Ka

[Encaitare]

Witch-King to Frodo: Can we 'ave your liver, then?

[Gurthang]

Frodo: "I don't think this is Rivendell."
Sam: "The map said go towards the giant ruined castle topped hill."
Frodo: "But this really isn't Rivendell, Sam!"
Sam: "Oooh! I hate MapQuest!"

OR

Frodo: "Blast! I dropped my Ring. Anybody got a torch!" :eek:

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Merry: C'mon, Pip. Ask one of 'em for a dance!

[Gil-Galad]

Nazgul: Thunderbolts and lightning very very frightning!

Sam: Gallieo! Gallieo!

hobbits: Gallieo Figoro!

Frodo: magnifico!

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Pippin knew it would get him in trouble, but he just couldn't resist making that wisecrack about the Wraiths' 'silly dressing-gowns'.

[Lalwendë]

The Often Heard Voice Of Sean Bean

Sean: "Do something special today....er no...see what you can do...no that's not it...um...more reasons to shop at... Oh Yeah! One just does not walk into Morrisons. The 100 free unblinking text messages...Oh hell..."

[The Only Real Estel]

The wraiths had been content to scare the bejezus out of the hobbits until Pippin yelled after them "Yeah, you'd better keep walking!!"

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Sam: You suppose we can ask 'em where Mordor is?

[Boromir88]

Witch-king: Just surrender the picture and we'll let you go...

http://www.mckellan.com/images/1272.jpg
Ian: See he's not so bad once you get to know him.
Gollum: Grrrawwwwr (jumps up and snaps at Ian's fingers).

P.S., Nil, great sig. ;)

[Lhunardawen]

Gollum: Ach! Ss! Sstop that, preciouss! You're humiliating me!

OR

Gollum tries to find out if his eyeses could be as acrobatic as him.

[The Only Real Estel]

For some reason, Gollum didn't seem to appreciate having tick-tack-toe played on his back.

[Lhunardawen]

Gollum fully restored - the breakthrough of the Seventh Age.

[Oddwen]

Gandalf the Somewhat Beige (his eightyfifth reincarnation) and a modern day Aragorn trek the length and breadth of the land to find and question Gollum...again.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

(And this thanks to a good friend . . . )

Ian: Gollum . . . I am your father.

Gollum (thinks): Oh, brother . . .

[Kath]

Ian had failed in his task of distracting Gollum from the guy planning on poking him to death.

[dancing spawn of ungoliant]

Researchers finally found the missing link in human evolution.

[The Only Real Estel]

Gandalf the Somewhat Beige (his eightyfifth reincarnation) and a modern day Aragorn trek the length and breadth of the land to find and question Gollum...again.

And there they found him, lurking by a lab of some sorts & a stagnant fake plant.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Mrs. Gollum: What is going on here?

Gollum: Er... It's not what you think! And since when was I married?

OR

Ian: And this is what I'll look like when I'm dressed up as Gandalf?

Jackson: I thought you said you read the Book!

[Gurthang]

Ian: "Hmmm... Yes, I see a brilliant acting career in your future!"

OR

Gollum's a little camera shy... and paranoid. :rolleyes:

OR

Ian works to calm Gollum just before they film Gollum falling into the chasm(sp). The little fellow is a somewhat wary of falling with his back to the ground.

[the guy who be short]

The head massage was excellent, but Gollum just couldn't get into the whole poke-massage thing. How is poking relaxing?

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Ian: What a nice little creature.

Jackson: What Ian doesn’t know is that when I poke Gollum on this vein, he'll go crazy and rib his head off! *Snigger* so lets see if Ian Mckellen is 'game for a Laugh'!

(and yes, that's a nod towards "Not the Nine O’clock News" Perhaps one of the best sketch shows of all time!) :D

[Mithalwen]

Gollum realised too late that he had taken the "Dress down Friday" thing too far...

[Lalwendë]

Ian : "Now I can see why you wear a hoodie, young man."

[Encaitare]

Ian: So, Gollum -- do you think my stubble is as manly as Viggo's was? Think reaaaaal hard about this one, because I could break your neck in a second.

[Lalwendë]

Gollum: "What'ss slaphead, Masster?"

[Gelmir]

Man: £14.99
Ian: I'll buy it!
Gollum: I'm not dead! (Sounds in distress)
Man: Now, you be a good table, and stay quiet!

[The Only Real Estel]

Professer Ian: "No, I don't think this creature is classified, & no, I don't think this creature could be classified as an ROUS."

[Gurthang]

Man(thinking): *If I can time this just right... Gollum will break... Everyone will blame Ian... He'll get fired... and I'll get to be Gandalf in the Movies! It's foolproof!* :rolleyes:

[The Elf-warrior]

"No. This is not another `Man against the odds play.' This is a Hobbit against the odds play."

[The Only Real Estel]

Gandalf: "Now Gollum (*condescending head pat*), I think you're confused. This picture that you have in your head of wargs being half-lemmings, half warthogs just isn't true."

[Naz]

Mysterious Arm: I'm touching you... does this bother you...? I'm not touching you....

Gollum: *STARES*

[Gurthang]

Gollum, Ian, and the Mysterious Man (all werewolves) plan the night's killing. :D

[Holbytlass]

Gollum: iisssn't thiss sexual harrassssment?!

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Actually, Gollum is just having his head rubbed.

Man: Hey, you! Off the display!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Ian: I'm sorry Gollum, but its time for you to get neutered.

Gollum: NO! New picture quick!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v604/hukbillgoomba/001Pippin.jpg

Pippin finds a Marks and Spencer's label on those Lothlorian cloaks
Pippin: Those lazy creeps! They told us they made them themselves!

OR

Pippin: *reading out* "do not use washing machine, may cause Sauron to resurrect" Oh dear...

[mormegil]

Pippin finds a mirror

"Man I'm ugly!"

[Kath]

Cloak label: May swallow the bearer by accident.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

This cloak belongs to... Gandalf the Grey!

[Kitanna]

Pippin: "Made in China"...those Elves lied to us!

[Estelyn Telcontar]

"This cloak handcrafted by Polly-Esther"

[Gelmir]

Pippin: Aww, I hate bleech, it's gone all pink. I know, I'll lick it off!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

This cloak will self destruct in one second.

OR

Pippin finally finds out why the Orcs have been shooting at him, there was a target painted on the backs of those cloaks.

[the guy who be short]

Pippin: I cannot read the fiery letters...

Gandalf [Offscreen]: No, but I can. The letters are Elvish, of an Ancient Mode, but the language is that of Mordor, which I shall not utter here. But this, in the Common Tongue, is what is said, close enough:

One Cloak to Rule them all, One Cloak to find them
One Cloak to Wrap them all, and in the warmth bind them

It is only two lines of a verse long known in Elven-lore:

Silky Cloaks for the Elf-Lords under the sky,
Rough Cloaks for the Dwarf Lords in their halls of stone,
Mass-produced Itchy Cloaks for mortal Men, doomed to die,
One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne
In the Land of Mordor, where the Mosquitoes fly,
One Cloak to Rule them all, One Cloak to find them
One Cloak to Wrap them all, and in the warmth bind them
In the Land of Mordor, where the Mosquitoes fly.

This is the Master Cloak, the One Cloak to rule them all. This is the One Cloak that he sewed many ages ago, to protect him from mosquito bites. He greatly desires it - but he must not get it!

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

4 O'Clock already? Guys! Can we wrap this battle up? I have a dentist appointment.

[The Only Real Estel]

Pippin: "Dude. I broke a nail! Now that just stinks."

[Gelmir]

Pippin: Argh! Dvdtown.com is everwhere, on my armour, on my wig, now my cloak! Aww, man. Dvdtown.com is ruling the world!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Please return this cloak to Sauron, Barad-dur, Mordor. Please bring a ring of power with you to gain entry.

OR

Pippin: *reading* This cloak belongs to Tom Bombadill. If you can answer this simple question He will grant you three wishes. Who is Tom? ... Oh stickle bats!

[The Only Real Estel]

Pippin: "Replica of Elven cloak. Made in Gondor. What a gyp, wait until Sam & Gimli hear that Galadriel didn't make their cloaks!"

[wilwarin538]

Pip: Greenish/Grey! What is Merry talking about? And they say Im colour blind. This cloak is definetly purple.

[Boromir88]

In really small print Pippin reads...

Warning:
Do not put in reach of children. They may choke on the small brooch.
Do not wrap around your head, you may sufficate.
Do not eat, contains poisonous dyes. If you did happen to eat it see a doctor immediately.
Do not attempt to fly. This is a cloak, not made for flying.
Do not let this cloak come in contact with your eyes.
Do not excessively smell this item, you may become intoxicated. If you think you have become intoxicated please see a doctor immediately.
Wearing this cloak excessively could result in headaches, nausea, heartburn, indigestion, monkey hair, warts and/or boils, and death. If you get any of these symptoms see your doctor immediately.

[Firefoot]

Pippin thought it would be funny to switch cloaks with Frodo... until he realizes (much too late) that Frodo had sewn the Ring into the hem of his cloak for safe keeping.

[Lalwendë]

Pippin makes an appearance on What Not To Wear and weeps as he is told he must give up his wardrobe of old cloaks and go out to buy a capsule collection of puce pullovers.

[The Saucepan Man]

Pippin is oblivious to the battle raging about him as he surveys the results of his latest attempt to pull the tablecloth off the table while leaving everything standing.

[Gurthang]

Pippin: *SNEEZE* "Ewwww!"

OR

Pippin: "I can barely read this, and my eyes hurt. I think it says: 'Warning! Do not read this! May cause harmful stress to your eyes!'"

OR

Pippin: "It says take a left at the Black Gate?! That can't be right. Ohh! I hate MapQuest!"

[The Only Real Estel]

Pippin: "Woh, there's a finger in this cloak! I should sue!"

[Gil-Galad]

Mail: 58$
Riding-Pony: 67$ a day
nice riding gloves: 23$
finding that Frodo ditched you so that you can fight in the war alone: Priceless


For everything else, there's The One Ring

[Naz]

Pippin at one of those Early Bird Sales. Apparently he wasn't early enough. His face falls in dissappointment as he picks through what's left.

[Gurthang]

Pippin realized that there was a hole in his extra large bag of pipeweed. :(

[mormegil]

Heedless of the war raging all around when the stain was discovered Pippin immediately had to attempt to remove it.

Pippin: "Boy this is a stubborn one"

[Holbytlass]

Oooh, I found Harry Potter's invisibility cloak!!

[Mithalwen]

Pippin clutches his security blanket as he wonders how he, a hobbit amongst men, got to be the tallest thing on the battle field..

[The Only Real Estel]

Pippin: "A stain on my new cloak!? Inconceivable!!!"

[Gelmir]

Merry(out of screen): Look pippin mushrooms!
Pippin: I've got one here.

http://www.freewebs.com/lord_ofthe_rings/TTT/TTTFrodo4.jpg

Frodo:I've got to get this ring out of my arm!

[CaptainofDespair]

Pippin, always the most sensitive hobbit, is attending the mid-battle trampling of a now dead Orc.

Pippin: *tearing up* Why? Why did he die so young?! *sobs*

[mormegil]

Can't see this one at all

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Just when Frodo thought he had got to the bottom of that staircase, he found there was another set going down for another five miles.
Frodo: I give up!

OR

Frodo watches with interest as two ants fight each other to the death.

[EDIT]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v604/hukbillgoomba/TTTFrodo4.jpg

That any better, mormegil?

[Oddwen]

Even after Scouring the Shire, Bag End just wasn't the same for Frodo.

Or...

Frodo sits thinking about puppies and rainbows, but meanwhile he is about to be eaten by a giant cave.

Or...

Frodo pauses to contemplate outside the door to Moria, wherein he had *finally* lost that darned Fellowship.

[The Elf-warrior]

Frodo: "How do we know that Merry and Pippin are alive?"

Sam: "What does your heart tell you?"

Frodo: "That they are dead."

Sam: "Look, Mr. Frodo, you can't think like that. The heart is supposed to be a source of hope."

Frodo: "What about Daddy Three Foot Six's angina?"

[The Saucepan Man]

Gordon the Stone Troll was very proud of his new Frodo the Ringbearer ear stud.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Frodo wonders whether saving Middle-earth is worth his finger.

[Kitanna]

No one ever wanted to play football with Nine Fingers Frodo.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Now that Frodo had the Ring, everyone was trying to hunt him; even huge portals to other dimensions.

[Gelmir]

Frodo: Darn, those sagville Baggins have added four more stories to bag-end.

OR

Sam(off screen): Come on mr frodo, just another three steps to go!
Frodo: Three steps is more then two, I'll never make it!

[Kitanna]

Frodo: *inspecting the bug on his sleeve* Oh Mr. Caterpillar, you're my only friend.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Frodo was so disappointed that the bouncers were letting the Ents into the party but not him.

OR

After pushing Gollum down the stairs for an hour, Frodo began to get a little bored.

[Gelmir]

Frodo: Everything I touch Dies
(the tree looks good enough to be dead...)

OR

Frodo wonders if he took the wrong way to get to mordor...

[The Only Real Estel]

...and there he sat, an image of what could have been, unable to rise because he had forgotten his belt.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Frodo: I'm sorry, Gandalf; you'll have to put your cloak back on. I don't think anyone is interested.

[Holbytlass]

Frodo: *sighs* I want my mommy. :(

[mormegil]

Not letting the silly "quest to destroy the ring" sidetrack him from the truly important issueat hand, Frodo contemplates how he can ask Galadriel to the Shire formal social without sounding too stupid.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Hookbill began his Crazy Captions career in the late 70s (that’s page 75 by the way) with something that go no one’s attention,

Gimli: Hello, and welcome to the Middle of the Film!
Pippin: Middle Earth?
Gimli: No, the Middle of the film
Pippin: Oh right.

Since then he has rose to the ranks of Taniquetill and has received over 900 reputation points from Crazy captions alone.

So, in honour of Hookbill the Goomba’s 300th post on Crazy captions, here is a new picture!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v604/hukbillgoomba/SamFrodoB.jpg

Sam: Are you sure you know where you are going? This doesn’t look like the Mordor Gandalf described.

[Gurthang]

Sam: "Why can't I be the leader... And how come no one else wanted to play?"

OR

Sam: "I think we took a wrong turn. This isn't even a path!"
Frodo: "Ohh! I hate MapQuest!" (Yes, I am going to repeat that one forever. :D)

OR

Peter Jackson(angry): "Cut, Cut, CUT!! Who stuck their arm into the camera's view! You've ruined the whole scene! We have to start over completely now!"

OR

(If you haven't seen 'A Day in the Life of a Hobbit' that's at the end of FotR, you probably won't get this one.)
Frodo and Sam are none to happy that PJ is making them wear their feet today, since they're walking through tall grass and all.
Sam: "That's 27 days!" *sigh*

[The Only Real Estel]

Sam: "Look Mr. Frodo, a scarecrow!"

Frodo: "Jeepers!"

Sam: "Creepers!"

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Frodo: Look Sam, its a horde of Pink oliphants!

Sam: Peter, I think we need to stop using real weed in Elijah's pipe!

[Boromir88]

Frodo: Now did Gandalf say left after the Scarecrow or Right? It's such a tough choice...I don't know where to go. Sam...Sam...Sam..

Sam: This place is in serious need of a gardner.

[The Only Real Estel]

Frodo & Sam (last name left out to protect identity) attempt to become the first pair of siamese twins to hike from the Shire to Mordor & back.

[Boromir88]

Sam: Where are we going to find a shrubbery?

Frodo: There's bound to one around here. Just look at it. It's finding the Herring that I'm worried about.

(Ahh more Monty I can't resist).

[The Only Real Estel]

After Frodo dropped the Ring in the cornfield Sam & Frodo both learned that 'like finding a needle in a haystack' is a very applicable saying, though they weren't enjoying it at the moment.

[Naz]

Elijah's wig takes on a life of its own & attempts to escape.

[Holbytlass]

''No, Sam, it can't be Mr. Highway's hand!!" :eek:

[Kath]

Frodo and Sam pause at the same moment as they realise what they have just stepped in.

OR

The hoobits realised that being superglued to each other was going to make this journey very difficult.

[Nimrodel_9]

Sam: Don't look now Mr. Frodo, but I think that scarecrow on the left is after us!! :eek:

I no like scarecrows.... :p
Nimmy

[mormegil]

Sam: Well Mr. Frodo this promises to be a rather easy trip, what with these handy walking sticks and all.

or

Sam: Now where did that Pippin Took run off to? Oh that's right it's not part of this version.

[Firefoot]

Sam: Mr. Frodo, is it just me or are those people with the video cameras stalking us?

[Oddwen]

For the previous Frodo pic:

Fro: Can't sleep, Bombadil will get me. Can't sleep, Bombadil will get me. Can't sleep...Bombadil will...get.....me.....CAN'TSLEEPBOMBADILWILLGETME!

The new pic:

Sam: I feel like I've forgotten somethin'...
Fro: What is it, Saaaaaaahhm?
Sam: I dunno...some piece of advice Gandalf gave me I think...ah well. Must get back to me Gaffer, good luck on your journey Mr. Frodo.

Or...

Sam: Can't look back, Bombadil will get me...can't look back, Bombadil will get me. CAN'TLOOKBACKBOMBADILWILLGETME!

Or...

Sam has the strangest feeling...that if he looks over his shoulder, he has the feeling that someone is following them. Someone...Uncloaked.

Or...

The farther away from home he got, the sicker Sam felt.

Or...

Sam: We're going to Mordor? We won't survive!
Fro: Nonsense. You're just saying that because no-one ever has.

[Lhunardawen]

Not contented with merely directing, Peter Jackson appears in the film in the most mischievous manner he can contrive.

[mormegil]

Sean: Elijah I don't know what they're talking about I can't see that car.

[The Only Real Estel]

Sam tries to keep a straight face as he sees Frodo's foot poised to step into a pothole.

[Kitanna]

Sam: Oh Mr. Frodo, I feel just like Dorothy. Look there's even a friendly Scarecrow!

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Sam: Do you really think this detour will get those Rivendell walkers off our trail? That Karen Wynn Fonstad seems to have a pretty good idea of the path we're taking!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Sam: What we need are a few good taters.

Frodo: Loo, for the last time, I don't have any! Just because you keep saying that doesn’t mean I'll miraculously get some!

OR

Frodo: You do know that when we run out of lembas, I'm going to have to eat you, Sam

Sam: :eek:

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Frodo: We better get away from that Hookbill fellow, before he gives us one of them Crazy Captions.

[CaptainofDespair]

Frodo: Sam, do you think these walking sticks make us look fat?

[Durelin]

Sam: Haha! My stick's bigger than your stick!

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Sam: For all rights we shouldn't even be here.

Frodo: I know, Sam. That's why we're going to Hogwarts.

[The Only Real Estel]

Sam: "Where are we going again, Mr. Frodo?"

Frodo: "The Degobah System, Sam. We're seeking a great warrior, something you'd probably know nothing about."

Sam: "Mmm. Tell more to me of this great warrior speak you of."

[Gil-Galad]

Sam: Come on Mr.Frodo...whos your favourite guy

Frodo: Sam! listen! Kingdom Hearts wasn't the best game, and Doctor Who isn't going to bring about a great wave of new sci fi fans because it isn't that great! there i said it, now i probaly gave Hookbill a heart attack, happy now?

[Nimrodel_9]

Sam: Mr. Frodo, you don't suppose you dropped the horribly-dangerous-ring-of-power-that-will-bring-about-our-doom over there do you? I guess it dosen't really matter if we find it or not...

Frodo: All right, I get it, Sam! Shut up!

[Lalwendë]

Sam: "I wish we'd brought Rosie along..."

Frodo: "Sam, you know she'd have been no use, girls just can't read maps and find directions."

Sam: "So where are we now, Mister Frodo? I'm sure we've already been through this field. Can't we ask someone?"

Frodo: "We're going the right way, Sam, I don't need to ask directions."

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Continuing Lalwendë's post;

Sam: "I wish we'd brought Rosie along..."

Frodo: "Sam, you know she'd have been no use, girls just can't read maps and find directions."

Sam: "So where are we now, Mister Frodo? I'm sure we've already been through this field. Can't we ask someone?"

Frodo: "We're going the right way, Sam, I don't need to ask directions."

Sam: But didn't Gandalf say that Mordor was a terrible place with dragons and pits and Orcs? This doesn’t look like Mordor to me.

Frodo: No, no! He said it was a 'terriblé' place, that’s elvish for "Shire-like" and with Dragons, as in, like the Green Dragon and not Pits, bits... of food. Yes. And Orc? No Orcs. Just... err... err... Forks... yeah, forks!

Sam: Have you been smoking Pippin's pipe again?

[HerenIstarion]

Frodo: Weren’t we supposed to be having a holiday at a ski resort, Sam?
Sam: Um…er… we is there, we has skis on, hasn’t we now, Master Frodo?
Frodo: Yes, definitely. We lack snow, obviously, though. Should not have come in September, perhaps…
Sam: Er…It said ‘have a wonderful holiday skiing’ on the poster, it did not say when to come… look, Master Frodo, it ain't that bad, they provided an instructor for us after all!
Frodo: For Gandalf’s beard’s sake, Sam, it’s a scarecrow!
Sam: Blimey, I thought that’s how such a foreign thing as instructor should look like…

[Formendacil]

Frodo: "I don't think we're in Kansas anymore."

Sam: "You sure? This looks a lot like Kansas to me..."

[Mithalwen]

Frodo and Sam get their first glimpse of that villainous duo, Lalwende and Davem, ganging up on a confused gaffer in order to steal his taters....

[Gelmir]

Sam: Mr. Frodo, Mr. Frodo. The ents are coming!
Frodo: Sam, Like I'd believe that...

OR

Sam: I remember standing on the yellow floor.
Frodo: Don't worry, It's only gone-off quick sand. See there's the expiry date, on that man.
Sam: It says, 'made in the Shire'... That's a scarecrow! I'm going to Die!
Frodo: Just don't make a noise.

~Gelmir~

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Sam saw Gandalf the grey... with a cloak? What's the world coming to?

[Morsul the Dark]

Hobbit Teen Help Videos


Sam: Mr. Frodo you can't runaway just 'cuz Mr.Bilbo punished you for using pipe weed

Frodo: He doesn't get how hard it is to be me!

Sam:Yeah but...ummm...LINE?!


Edit:Just so you know that ending came from an abrupt brainfart if you will

[The Elf-warrior]

Sam: "Mr. Frodo, what kind of grain are we walking through?"

Frodo: "Corn."

Sam: "Do you mean maize?"

Frodo: "Look, I don't have the slightest idea what grain we're walking through but I know there's no grain in Mordor now shut up!!"

[Gurthang]

(This is a blatant spin off of the already overdone Wizard of Oz captions. )
Frodo: "That strange lady said to follow the yellow brick road, but this path she set us on doesn't look like bricks to me."
Sam: "Well, at least its yellow."
Frodo: :eek: "That scarecrow! He's pointing a different way now!"

OR

Sam: "Why do I have to carry all the bags?" :(

OR

Frodo: "Oh, look, a cool looking lever." *pull* *sirens and flashing lights*
Scarecrow: "Thank you for pulling the Middle-earth self-destruct lever. Middle-earth will be drowned in the Sea in 10 minutes. Have a nice day." :)
Frodo: *faint*
Sam: "Not again!"

[Boromir88]

Sam: Where's this picture Jackson sent us looking for?

Frodo: He said the scarecrow marks the spot...

http://us.movies1.yimg.com/movies.yahoo.com/images/hv/photo/movie_pix/new_line_cinema/the_lord_of_the_rings__the_return_of_the_king/_group_photos/bernard_hill13.jpg

Peter Jackson: See Bernard, I've been doing a lot of thinking, and since I can't figure out a way to clear out all these orcs. Your charge is going to be basically worthless since I have to bring in the dead Army, so were just going to scrap that part. You can sit on the hill and watch it if you wish?

Or

Mr. Hill isn't very interested in Jackson's reciting of The Canterbury Tales.

[mormegil]

Sam: I just can't believe those things that The Guy Who Be Short said about me, now that Mormegil fellow seems to be spot on with Bilbo.

Frodo: I've told you Sam I'm not getting into it.


To fully understand please read the favorite hobbit poll. :D

Edit: Cross post--obviously for the Frodo and Sam pic.

[The Only Real Estel]

Theoden isn't quite sure what to make of his new councellor...

Theoden: "I think I liked Grima better."

[Oddwen]

PJ: No Bernard, you eat what the caterers bring. And yes, I *do* know that they didn't bring any sandwiches...with or without ham!

Or...

PJ: Don't worry Bernard, it says here that Gandalf will be cloaked.

Or...

PJ: Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?

Or...

PJ: Wow, I didn't know you were an aspiring poet, Bernard, but this is hardly the time.

Or...

PJ: What is this? An actual copy of Lord of the Rings? On my set?!? What is this frippery and skulduggery! Tom Bombadil? Farmer Maggot? Giant Wolves? A Ladylike Arwen? A Legolas who is not a mere stuntspiece but an actual fleshed-out character?? Bother and Rubbish!

[Boromir88]

Jackson: Ok Bernard, pretend I'm Eowyn...(in Eowyn's voice) "Uncle, Uncle, your son is wounded. Uncle will you not comfort me?"

Bernard: I don't get paid enough for this...

[Gurthang]

Peter Jackson: "You're three days late?! How?!"
Bernard Hill: "I told you; I got lost."
Jackson: "But you had directions. Let me see those."
*PJ studies directions*
Jackson: "No, these are all wrong. You should've gone left at the stoplight, not straight!"
Hill: "Ohh! I hate MapQuest!" :D

[The Only Real Estel]

PJ: "Look, Tolkien said it, right...here. Two Towers, and I quote: "And the Elves marched to Helm's Deep, & the studly Legolas pronounced "That is no Orc horn!", & Aragorn greeted Haldir over-enthusiastically, & Theoden looked on wide eyed..." so do the scene, okay?"

Hill: "But PJ, that's just a piece of paper with your handwriting all over it."

PJ: "Bernard, the problem with you is you can't take something at face value. You just act the scene & leave the changing-er-interpreting of Tolkien's works to me, okay?"

[Kitanna]

Bernard's Brain: Peter's poetry is some of the worst I've ever heard! Second only to the Vogons.

[Formendacil]

Theoden is more than a little leery, and rightly so, about the timetraveller from the Seventh Age. No Aelfwine, he.

[mormegil]

The guy in the baseball cap in the back gives his meanest expression to PJ for not choosing him to be Theoden.

[Bêthberry]

Captain H. M. "Howling Mad" Murdock--the guy in the back with the baseball cap--wonders how they plan to use the helicopter in this one.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

To stop Peter from telling his awful jokes, Bernard had to hand him his bill.

[SamwiseGamgee]

PJ: So it says here that you slapped Ian McKellan square in the face and called him a primadonna bitch.

Bernard Hill: Whatever!

[Kath]

PJ: I'm sorry Bernard, this is some great writing but I just don't think the audience will relate as well to a camp king.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Jackson: "Is this bill correct? Did you spent $12000 on lattes?!" :eek:

Hill: "....yeah, so?"

[CaptainofDespair]

PJ: Bernard, can you read this letter? It's from Christopher Lee, but I cannot, for the life of me, make out what it says. I think he's trying to tell me he's pining, but for what, I do not know.

Bernard: Hmm. Actually, I think he's whining, about you cutting out his scenes.

[Gil-Galad]

Bernard: So i run in and try and save as many of the patients as i can from the lions right?

PJ: what? no, you just walk over to the tent there

Bernard: and then i sacrifice myself by going down with the ship!

PJ:err...which movie do you think this is?

Bernard: The Life and times of Bernard Hill and his Horse Daffodil?

[Kitanna]

Bernard's Brain: Peter seems to have some sort of a stain on his shirt...should I tell him? No, I'll just let him be embarassed. That'll teach him to shun my "Theoden kills the Witch King and Sauron and becomes king of Gondor and Rohan" idea.

[Lalwendë]

Peter: "And nowww, the end is near, and so I face...the final curtainnn..."

Bernard (thinks) : "I wish he'd stop hogging that karaoke machine, he's got a voice like an Orc gargling with gravel."

[dancing spawn of ungoliant]

PJ: I don't get this: "Pas de lieu Rhone que nous."

Hill: I know! It's really nerve-racking!

[Orominuialwen]

PJ: What do you mean, you don't think Aragorn is a wolf? Have you even read the brilliant analysis of all his posts that I've written here?

[Naz]

As PJ rambles on & on, Bernard Hill spaces out. Meanwhile, in the background, the Rohirrim soldiers huddle & trade Poke'mon cards.

Ok, lame. > >;

[Lalwendë]

Peter: "This note from your mum, excusing you from the scene at Helm's Deep when it rains? Well, it looks suspiciously like your own handwriting, Bernard..."

[The Elf-warrior]

PJ: "Ok, Mr. Hill, we've got you scheduled to fight Ian McKellan at 8 o'clock."

Mr. Hill: "PJ, this Lord of the Rings, not geriatric boxing."

[The Only Real Estel]

Bernard glumly decides that although PJ's puns are bad, his poetry is verse.

[Nimrodel_9]

PJ: Look! It's the new pic!
http://www.brego.net/upphotos/galleryimage_image_320.jpg
Pippin: Minas Tirith!
Gandalf: Minas Tirith!
Shadowfax: It's only a model.

[Kath]

Shadowfax: You know Gandalf if you get that staff caught up in my heels one more time I promise you I will throw you off.

[The Only Real Estel]

Shadowfax had had more than the legal drinking limit - as evidenced by his failure to walk a straight line.

[mormegil]

Pippin: (speaking about seeing the majesty of Minas Tirith) You don't need pipe weed to enjoy this! Just to enhance it!

[Boromir88]

Pippin: Hmm, this looks like an awfully similar setting to Helm's Deep.

[CaptainofDespair]

Pippin: Are we there, yet?

Gandalf: You've asked that already. *sighs* And yes, we are almost there.

Pippin: Okay, Grandpa Gandy...

Gandalf:...*sighs*

[Durelin]

Pippin: My bum has gone numb.
Gandalf: My condolences.

[The Elf-warrior]

Gandalf: "Hi, ho! Hi, ho. Hi,ho, hi ho, it's to Minas Tirith we go, to Minas Tirith we go!"

Pippin: "Could you please stop that? You know what Tolkien thought of Disney, don't you?"

Gandalf: "At least it's better than the Crazy Frog song."

[Kitanna]

Gandalf: Ah see how the morning sun light catches the majesty of Minas Tirith? See the banners waving in the wind? Isn't glorious, Pippin?
Pippin: I still don't see why we couldn't go to Disney World instead.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Pippin: Do you think we should tell them about that asteroid that’s about to hit Minas Tirith?

OR

Pippin: why is it so quiet?
Gandalf: It's the deep breath before the plunge.
Pippin: Oh! Do they have swimming baths at Minas Tirith?
Gandalf: :rolleyes:

[Nimrodel_9]

Pippin: Every...thing...is so... WHITE! Gandalf, Shadowfax, that city over there! WHY?!

Okay, that was weird... :p

[Oddwen]

Pip: Holy smokes! On top of that tower...it's a giant ape from the Southlands!

Or...

He knew it was a long shot, but it had to be done. Denethor could not be persuaded by other means, so Gandalf knew, deep in his bones that he would have to keep his cloak on.

Or...

Pip: So...we're facing a deadly enemy, right?
Gandy: Yes indeed.
Pip: And our enemy threatens perpetual havoc if we don't surrender the Steward?
Gandy: I am afraid so, Peregrin Took.
Pip: Well tell me...what would be worse, letting this "Meela" have her way, or letting Gondor be continually ruled by a looney?
Gandy: Hmm...

[Gurthang]

Gandalf: "I told you this was a good spot to watch the lift-off!" (The Citadel looks like a big rocket with flames coming from the side.)

OR

Pippin: "Gandalf, the directions say to turn left here."
Gandalf: "But the city is in right over there, to the right!"
Pippin: "Ohh! I hate MapQuest!"

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

PJ: . . . So now, you'll steal the Ring from Gandalf, and . . .

Bernard: Wait. Gandalf has the Ring?

PJ: Yes.

Bernard: How?

PJ: None of your business.

Bernard: And I'll steal it from him?

PJ: Yes.

Bernard: Why?

PJ: Because you're an agent of Sauron.

Bernard: Me?

PJ: Yes!

Bernard: Why?

PJ: Because! . . . Then you kill the Witch-King and steal his flying birdie . . .

Bernard: Wait. I thought I was an agent of Sauron. Why would I kill the Witch-King?

PJ: Because he's really working for Denethor.

Bernard: Why?

PJ: BECAUSE!

Bernard: But what about Éowyn? Wasn't she supposed to kill the Witch-King?

PJ: No! By this time she and Aragorn had already ran off to the Undying Lands. Sheesh!

Bernard: But they're mortals!

PJ: So?!

Bernard: Never mind.

PJ: . . . So you fly off into Mordor and give the Ring to Bilbo.

Bernard: Bilbo?

PJ: Yes.

Bernard: Why to him?

PJ: Because he is really Sauron.

Bernard: Can anyone ask if Harry Potter needs a King of Rohan character?

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Shadowfax (thinking): This looks suspiciously like a model of Faramir's nose . . .

[The Only Real Estel]

Pippin: "Are we there yet? I'm hungry. This horse smells wierd."

[Lhunardawen]

Seeing Gandalf asleep, Shadowfax finally gets a chance to throw the slave-driver of a wizard off the cliff.

[the guy who be short]

By the time they got there, it was already too late - a huge mountain was already attacking the city, and split it in two. Endless strings of evacuees fled the carnage, the Wrath of the Mountains, visible only as tiny dots in the distance.

[dancing spawn of ungoliant]

Gandalf: On second thought, let's not go to Minas Tirith. It is a silly place.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Gandalf: Look over there!
Pippin: What? The city?
Gandalf: NO! You fool of a Took! A new picture
Pippin: You know that 'Fool of a Took' thing is really getting old
Gandalf: Is that so? Do you want me to be uncloaked again?
Pippin: Oh Eru, no! Please Gandalf, I'll be good! Just keep driving the horse!

http://img-nex.theonering.net/images/scrapbook/8370.jpg

Faramir tries to steal Bromir's sword.

OR

Faramir: Look, I can see a thousand hobbits all jumping off the wall!

Boromir: You see, this is why father likes me better.

[CaptainofDespair]

Faramir: Who brought the embedded reporter along?

Boromir: I don't know. I just know I look totally awesome in this armor.

Faramir: Yea...so?

Boromir: I'm sexier than you. Admit it.

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Faramir: Do you suppose these fangirls expect us to show the full monty?

Boromir: Better start practicing dance steps to "I'm too sexy for my armour".

[The Saucepan Man]

Boromir is dismayed to be on active duty during the Gondor v Far Harad Ashes Series.

Faramir: Pssst, Boromir. The wire to your earpiece is showing.

Boromir: Shhh! I'm trying to get the Test Match score.

[THE Ka]

Faramir: *Sniff* I smell...NAZGUL!!!

Boromir: Ehk, could you knock that off? We're on camera for Eru's sake!


@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

~ Just Ka

[The Only Real Estel]

Camera Man: "Nope, this one's no good either. Faramir's looking off to the side again."

Boromir: "That's the sixteenth wasted picture! We're going to have to evacuate all the girls just to get Faramir to focus on the camera for two seconds!"

[Kath]

Faramir: Boromir, look! There's an olipahunt headed right for us!

Boromir: I know.

Faramir: No really - what do you mean you know!?!

Boromir: I didn't like my death in the first film so I thought I'd make it a little more interesting in a flashback. You might want to run by the way.

[Kitanna]

Going off of Estel...

Boromir: Come on Faramir, look at the camera just once. I'd like a decent Christmas card for once.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Faramir: "Psst! Boromir! Check out those girls, they're totally eye-dancing with us!"

Boromir: "That guy over there, he......he stole my pint!"

[Nimrodel_9]

Faramir: Who are you people?!
Boromir: Hey! This isn't Osgiliath!
or

Faramir: Don't look now, but I think the wombats are attacking again!

Nimmy :p

[dancing spawn of ungoliant]

Apparently it wasn't a very unique idea to dress up as a Gondorian for the fancy dress party.

edit: Happy 700th post to me! ;)

[Kitanna]

Boromir: Aragorn smells! *looks away very quickly* Did he look? Did he hear it?
Faramir: No. Can we please stop this game? It's been two hours and Aragorn hasn't looked once.

[Mithalwen]

Boromir feigns ignorance when Faramir speculates why Boromir gets the bespoke metal armour and he just gets a leather tunic and a shirt made from an old quilt...

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Boromir: touch my sword again; Faramir, and I shall kill you.

OR

While Faramir is distracted by NAZGUL, Boromir looks on at something in the distance... What is that?... could it be? ... No... It can't be! ... Its Gandalf the grey... but there is something different... :rolleyes:

[The Only Real Estel]

Faramir apprehensively glances around for those petty dwarves while Boromir wonders what happened to the reputation system.

[Lalwendë]

Boromir is less than pleased at the dirty looks he receives after his brother persuades him it will be OK to turn up to a Gondor United match in last season's away shirt.

[Naz]

Minas Tirith pic:

Gandalf: %@#^! I *knew* should'nt have that right turn!

Boromir & Faramir:

This is what happens when someone with a camera calls your name & you look...

(the Disco King! ooh, idea..!)

Boro: WHO STOLE MY SQUID?! *cries*

Faramir: *whistles innocently*

[The Only Real Estel]

Adding on to Eomer's idea:

Boromir: "But why should you care anyway? I thought you were a monk?"

Faramir: "Actually, I'm only a friar."

[Formendacil]

Faramir looks at Eowyn. Boromir looks at Arwen.

The expressions say it all.

[Boromir88]

Faramir: Come on brother. I don't like this place. Somehow everyone's turning into mindless zombies...
Boromir...
Boromir...

[The Only Real Estel]

Faramir: "Who is that character over there? He looks vaguely familiar, like a character in a book I've read; but he's been changed to fit someone else's vision."

Boromir: "That's Dad."

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Faramir: Hay Boromir! Look over there! Balloons! Can I have one? Please?

Boromir: Why do I have to die? Why can't he?

[CaptainofDespair]

Boromir: I have a new plan to win this war, brother!

Faramir: What is it this time? Enough with the catapults...

Boromir: No, this time we use a satellite as a weapons platform!

Faramir: This isn't Goldeneye, and you aren't Alec Trevelyan...

[The Only Real Estel]

Boromir: "Look, we're wasting our time. How could the Ring wind up way out here?"

Random Gondorian Soldier: "Well, I'm no expert, but...it could be that the circumstances surrounding this "Ringbearer" caused him to leave all but one of his companions; endanger himself, then escape, then endanger, then escape; along the way picking up a semi-sane, vengeful creature for a guide that would lead the Ring...right around here."

Boromir: *blank stare*

[Gurthang]

Boromir: "Ohh! I hate MapQuest!"
Faramir: "What are you talking about? We aren't even using MapQuest!"
Boromir: "I know, but I hate it anyway!"
Farmair: :rolleyes:

OR

Faramir's angry. Why? Cuz Big Brother gets the cool armor, but all he gets to wear is pathetic leather!

[Oddwen]

Faramir: Boromir...Boromir don't look now, but look at our armor.
Boromir: ?? Do you want me to look, or don't you?
Faramir: Our 'One White Trees' don't match.

Or...

Faramir: Hey Boromir...XYZPDQ.

[The Elf-warrior]

Faramir: "Don't look now but Denethor's turning into a werewolf."

Boromir: "Oh, great! Can my life get any crazier?"

Faramir: "Yes."

[the phantom]

David: Two o'clock, Sean- those two babes from the Lorien set that were eying us earlier-
Sean: *elbows David* Don't stare- we want them to look first and then we'll catch 'em staring-
David: But, dude, that's what they're trying to do to us-
Sean: They'll look. Trust me. I've been a big star for years. They always look. Give 'em a couple seconds.
David: All right, man.
Sean: *elbows David* You're still staring.
David: Sorry.

(if you've ever been a mall cruising teenage guy I'm sure you can completely relate to my post ;) )

[Encaitare]

Boromir: Someone's hand is on my bum. It's not yours, is it?
Faramir: Don't turn around, I think it was Ioreth.
Boromir: Drat her unavoidable advances!

[Boromir88]

Faramir: Look Boromir hot babes at 8 o'clock.
Boromir: Don't bother me now we have a new picture.

http://us.movies1.yimg.com/movies.yahoo.com/images/hv/photo/movie_pix/new_line_cinema/the_lord_of_the_rings__the_fellowship_of_the_ring/_group_photos/orlando_bloom6.jpg

Aragorn: I'll be darn it's one of those "Whatever you do, no matter what situation you're stuck in, do not press this button" thingy's.

Boromir: I want to press it.

Legolas: No! It says don't press it.

Boromir: I want to press it so badddd....just this once...

[Encaitare]

When cast members came down with a nasty case of the flu, Peter Jackson immediately remedied the situation by getting cardboard cutouts to act as stand-ins.

or...

Boromir and Legolas pretend not to notice that Aragorn's lack of hygiene has grown so bad that his foot fungus is beginning to glow.

[Kitanna]

PJ: *off camera* Viggo, this scene won't work if you're not all looking at the same thing!
Viggo: I'm a rebel!

[The Elf-warrior]

No one liked Pj's idea of having Legolas cry like a baby after he finds Boromir mortally wounded.

Viggo Mortensen: "Ridiculous!"

Sean Bean: "Pj's cracked."

Orlando Bloom: "No way I'm going to cry like a baby, sir!"

[the phantom]

Boromir: What in the world is that glowing light?
Legolas: I don't know- but I don't think it's friendly, and it's coming this way. What should we do, Aragorn!?
Aragorn: Everyone stare at it and look mad. Maybe we can frighten it away.

[The Only Real Estel]

As Boromir & Legolas prepare to take on the newest foe, Aragorn fires up his jetpack & prepares to rocket off to Rivendell, leaving the two suckers to their fate.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Aragorn: It's horrible!

Boromir: I told you we shouldn't have come here.

Legolas: Guys, that's just Galadriel with her make-up off.

~*~

(Shameless plug: First "uncloaked" joke (http://forum.barrowdowns.com/showpost.php?p=151278&postcount=2364).)

[Boromir88]

Aragorn: It cannot be?

Boromir: Awesome, I'm the prettiest one here.

Legolas: I say we break it.

[the phantom]

Sean: *whispers* I bet I look really studly right now.
Orlando: Not half as studly as me.
Sean: Yeah right- you're wearing tights and you don't have a beard.
Orlando: You only have the beard to cover up your non-sexy face.
PJ: Cut it out, you two! Focus on the scene!
Viggo: *thinks to self* I wonder if anyone notices that my arrow quiver is across my chest, or that, since I lost my contacts, I'm probably always looking the wrong place?

[Formendacil]

From left to right we have: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly. :D

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

It's the Bad, the Feeling-Pretty, and the . . . uh . . . Scruffy?

That was lame.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

In a game of Werewolf...

Aragorn: It's defiantly Frodo, he's too nice.
Boromir: No, no. I think Gandalf; he's kept that cloak on for too long now.
Legolas: No! It's Sam! Can't you see! He's getting close to Frodo so he can kill him!
Aragorn: Are we going to decide whom to lynch or do we let the wolves win?

OR

Aragorn's bow sets of fire as Legolas and Boromir try and keep straight faces.

[dancing spawn of ungoliant]

The shock was mutual when Charlie met his Angels.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

The actors were unsure about the merits of Peter Jackson's plan to insert a Three Musketeers parody in the middle of Moria.

or...

Legolas: *whispers* "Psst! Boromir! I thought you said there were no bears in this cave!"

Boromir: "O no, I thought you said....but then....o dear."

[The Only Real Estel]

Seeing a party of hundreds of orcs breakdancing to rap music wasn't high on any of the three's memory lists.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Gorn, Legolas and Boro quickly realised that this was an Orc-only nightclub.

[Oddwen]

The three first-time Werewolves hung about uncertainly, not sure who they should kill first.

Or...

Legolas: This isn't the bathroom.
Boromir(grimly): It is now.

Or...

As the Orcs rudely challenged Boromir's Disco King title, Aragorn and Legolas knew it was time to step aside...

Or...

Legolas: Psst, Aragorn, your quiver is on backwards.
Aragorn: It's not my quiver.
Boromir: Then what...
Aragorn: It's an ear of corn. Shut up and don't ask!

Or...

After Aragorn's left arm was hewn off, he composed a handy sling to keep it in. Boromir and Legolas were not impressed.

To continue that...

Legolas: C'mon man, it's just an arm, you can grow another one.
Boromir: Huh, you think that's a serious injury? Why, one time they chopped off my...

Or...

Legolas: Aragorn, why are you carrying a baby?
Boromir*whine*: Yeah, it's my turn.

[The Only Real Estel]

Legolas: Aragorn, why are you carrying a baby?

Aragorn: "Shhh! Don't let Elrond here you!" :p