Crazy Captions

[narfforc]

Book 37 of The Breaking Yawn Saga tries to out-do The Munsters....

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

'I didn't expect dad to take it that badly.'

[Lalwendë]

Thuringwethil pursues Draugluin with vengeance in mind, after discovering that he's come home from a week away with a bad case of fleas.

[Lalwendë]

"Fenton. Fenton! FENTON! OH....ERU!"

[Galadriel55]

"What did you do to my new picture?!!!"

http://www.freewebs.com/lord_ofthe_rings/ROTK/ROTKSamFrodo4.jpg

Frodo: You were right, Sam, we shouldn't have tried to see Gandalf uncloaked

~~~

Frodo: There's acid in this flask. One more word and you'll lose your facial features.

[Inziladun]

Having already killed and eaten Gollum, Sam considers the next nearest food source.

[Oddwen]

Sam: Do you like it Mr. Frodo? I made it myself!

Frodo: Why, yes, I love my new....crocheted water flask?

[Galadriel55]

Frodo: Just why exactly did we not ask the Eagles to take us there?


PS: nice new location, Oddy! :D

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

It might sound absurd, but taking turns caressing the water-flask was the only thing that kept Frodo and Sam from going completely mad.

[Galadriel55]

Frodo: what... did... you.... put... in... this... flask?

Sam: just some water from that river down yonder in the Morgul-vale and the flowers that grew beside it...

[Inziladun]

"Mr. Frodo, I just now realized we're sittin' under a troll's nostrils".

[Oddwen]

"Mr. Frodo, I just now realized we're sittin' under a troll's nostrils".

"And?"

"Well, do you want a hand at refillin' the flask, or shall I?"


Or...


Frodo: "No, Sam, his name isn't MISTER Poofywickers, and if I hear you call him that again, I shall get angry."

[Kitanna]

Frodo: You need a urine sample for what?!

[Meneltarmacil]

http://www.tednasmith.com/lotr2/TN-Gandalf_Returns.jpg

[Galadriel55]

The three travellers scare the wits out of Gandalf.

--

Gandalf is blown away by a gust of wind.

--

Gandalf wonders about why there is writing in the sky and prepares to take it down.

[Kitanna]

"Get off my lawn you hooligans!"

[Galadriel55]

They are just playing a game. It's called "freeze in your weirdest looking poses".

[Oddwen]

Gandalf: I didn't say Simon Says, Aragorn! Now taste my WRATH!

Legolas: Mother may I! Mother may I! AAAAAAAIIII!

[Legate of Amon Lanc]

Gandalf: "And now, everyone, repeat after me!" Aragorn: "Wow, one would never think how difficult this hoola-dancing is..."

OR

As the laws of nature suddenly collapse without warning, men start glowing, steel is set on fire and Gimli's axe, ignoring the gravity, flies to stab him.

OR

Gimli's axe: "That's for all the years you've been just using me! Now die!"

[Inziladun]

Aragorn: "Don't do it, Gandalf! Uncloaking is never the answer!"

[Galadriel55]

Gimli's levitational powers - applied to his axe. Aragorn's inflammatory powers - applied to his sword. Gandalf's glowing powers - applied to his staff. Legolas' stupidity powers - "Mithrandir!"

[Meneltarmacil]

Gandalf, did you go into the restricted area of the nuclear power plant?

[Galadriel55]

"Gandalf! Behind you!..."

---

Gandalf: "You shall not pass!"
Aragorn: "Wrong line wrong place, Ian."

[Kitanna]

Legolas realizes he's been shot.

[Legate of Amon Lanc]

Aragorn: "It's all your fault, wizard! When I was small, you bestowed a curse on me that left my hand misshapen. But today I shall have my revenge!"

OR

Unseen, Legolas uses the moment when others are being distracted to commit suicide by stabbing himself into the neck.

[Inziladun]

Gimli makes the mistake of asking to see the "Balrog Scar".

[MCRmyGirl4eva]

Legolas makes the mistake of thinking that there is a costume-party, and proceeds to dress as Robin Hood

[Galadriel55]

http://corecanvas_local.s3.amazonaws.com/theonering-0188db0e/media/original/elrond.jpg

The Clone Wars.

Find Waldo! ...erm, Elrond!

[Inziladun]

Elrond forgets the old Elvish proverb: "Lembas may 'feed the will', but it also irritates the colon."

[Galadriel55]

Elrond sees himself in mirror.

---

Elrond: what did Arwen put in my shaving cream!?

[Kitanna]

"Elves! Tonight we dine in hell!

~*~*~

"Someone get me my brown trousers."

[Oddwen]

Looks like a case of the Elf-lord's New Armor...

Or...

Elrond: *sniff* I wanted to ride in the van with Eomer...

Or...

Elrond: Have you ever just stood and stared at it? Marveled at its beauty, its genius? Billions of people, living out their lives, oblivious...

[MCRmyGirl4eva]

Elrond suddenly discovers that the whole thing about volcanoes is; the hot lava burns the skin.

[Lalwendë]

http://www.richardarmitagenet.com/images/gallery/Hobbit/HobbitStills/album/slides/1-EW-Bilbo-Dwarves.jpg

"What is this tripe?!" Bilbo is transfixed by the horror that is the latest fan fic taking The Shire by storm, 50 Shades of Gandalf the Grey Uncloaked.

[Inziladun]

Thorin's demands for his bedroom accoutrements included a brush made with hobbit-hair and facial cream made from troll earwax.

[Lalwendë]

"I'm sure I asked for some Lego and a new Chopper bike?" Bilbo rechecks his letter to Santa on Christmas morning when he gets up to find some hairy Dwarves under the tree.

[Galadriel55]

Thorin: No, Balin, don't move. I want him to figure out for himself that he's reading it upside-down.

[Inziladun]

"The fine print says they won't pay funeral costs if I'm in a dragon's colon."

[Kuruharan]

Bilbo: This is the script?! There are fifteen scenes where Galadriel helps Gandalf uncloak, Eowyn and Arwen mud wrestling for the hand of Thorin and the Mighty Thor swoops in at the last moment to save the day during the War of the Five Legions! Why do they allow this man to make these movies?!

[Galadriel55]

"These Dwarves sure eat a lot!" thought Bilbo, looking at the list of delicacies the Dwarves ordered for dinner.

~~~

Bilbo conciders the list that Thorin came up with off the top of his head of the potential ways to die during the journey.

[Oddwen]

"Lonely Mountain. If convenient, come. If inconvenient, come anyway."

[junwei6]

Eh,a very interesting game.:Merisu:

[MCRmyGirl4eva]

Bilbo, considering the script, finds himself suddenly wishing that he had followed his mother's advice to not become an adult movie star. :eek:

[Kitanna]

Dwarf poetry is so terrible, Bilbo thought. How am I supposed to tell them "as pretty as a solid rock formation" is not considered a compliment to elves?

[MCRmyGirl4eva]

http://www.panhistoria.com/Stacks/Novels/Character_Homes/homedirs/4609images/Eowyn_Faramir_RotKsm.jpg

Eowyn notices that Faramir has a little orc blood in his hair.

[Inziladun]

"Psst! Lord Faramir! You know this is your father's funeral, right?"

[MCRmyGirl4eva]

Guards: The real action is over this way

[Oddwen]

*golfimbul clap*

Or...

In the frozen land of Gondor, they were forced to eat Aragorn's minstrel. And there was much rejoicing.

E&F: yaaaaay.

[MCRmyGirl4eva]

http://files.g4tv.com/ImageDb3/277530_S/the-hobbit-reveals-fili-and-kili.jpg

Does this jacket make my sword look big?

[Kitanna]

"Ladies"

[Inziladun]

Despite aggressive marketing, the new Erebor Excellence letter-opener just wasn't a hit.

[Mithalwen]

It was a marriage where noone seemed to be wearing the trousers, but Eowyn had the inner confidence of knowing that she was the one who had dispatched a Nazgul, and that trumped everything.

[crescendo.]

"I'm sexy and I know it"

[MCRmyGirl4eva]

http://images.wikia.com/lotr/images/8/88/Thranduil.jpg

My wife told me that wearing my vegtables on my head will help to prevent my son from growing up to be a shield-surfing, dwarf-befriending, Captain Obvious future king.

[Inziladun]

"No, I'm not Gollum with blond sideburns, Precious. Why do you ask?"

[crescendo.]

"You will pay for what you turned me into"

[Galadriel55]

I found your Entwife!

[MCRmyGirl4eva]

Legolas must have gotten his looks from his mother's side...

[The Only Real Estel]

Mickey Rourke really has not aged gracefully...

[MCRmyGirl4eva]

I'm guarding this torch for the next ME Olympics

[Morthoron]

I am not Gollum's sister!

[MCRmyGirl4eva]

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-d7CJG-Ckx2Y/TbMd40tvyGI/AAAAAAAAAH0/NfB7Hqvr5Is/s400/sam-gamgee.jpg

Oh! Um... Hey Rosie... I was just... um... practicing fighting. Yeah! That's it...

[Galadriel55]

Man, master Peregrine, when have you gotten so devilishly tall?

[Inziladun]

Samwise reacts to Butturbur serving him a light beer.

[Oddwen]

Batter up!

[The Only Real Estel]

"It seems your Schwartz is as big as mine..."

[Kath]

"Hey ... PJ! Put ME in The Hobbit or else!"

[narfforc]

Sam Gamgee practising his swing for the Middle-earth Baseball World Series......

[Kitanna]

After breaking a plate, Elanor Gamgee knew she was in trouble with her dad.

[Galadriel55]

"If there's no way to get in, I'll hack a way in!"

~~~

"Perhaps if I throw this sword really accurately it will fall onto Gollum, and Master Frodo will think it fell from the sky and not suspect me..."

~~~

Sam: I ain't been dropping no eaves, sir, honest! I was just cutting the grass under the window there, if you follow me.

Gandalf: With that sword?

~~~

Frodo: Where did you get that sword, Sam?

Sam: Um... uhh... in the toy store?

[MCRmyGirl4eva]

Mommy! Aragorn says his fighting skills are better than mine!

[Inziladun]

"Mr. Frodo just had to ask for 'pan-seared oliphaunt'!"

[Galadriel55]

"It's time you showed your quality," thought Sam while testing out his brand-new expensive toy.

[Galadriel55]

Sam bravely charges away from the battlefield.

[Kitanna]

"This calls for the Holy Hand Grenade!"

[MCRmyGirl4eva]

http://news.mymiddleearth.com/files/2012/08/Thranduil-2.jpg

I revoke my earlier statement regarding Legolas's looks.

[Inziladun]

The long-lost Ring of Vidal (http://www.sassoon.com/products/index.php) immediately set to work on its unwary possessor.

[MCRmyGirl4eva]

The One Ring has a competitor: The Crazy Crown of Doom!

And:

Having trouble finding your ring, Sauron? Sorry, I've got every ring in Middle-Earth except yours!

[Lalwendë]

Lucius Malfoy does scrub up well.

[Oddwen]

A box without keys, lid or hinges
Yet placed inside are elven finges

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Thranduil: I want the Arkenstone... To use as a disco ball!

OR

Thranduil: You remind me of the babe.
Thorin: What babe?
Thranduil: The babe with the power.
Dwalin: What power?
Thranduil: The power of vudo!
Balin: Who do?
Thranduil: You do!
Oin: Do what?
Thranduil: Remind me of the babe!

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

The people of Mirkwood were still no closer to finding out who had stolen all of their BacoFoil.

[Mithalwen]

If anyone accused Thranduil of being camp he was ready to attack them with his biggest nailfile.

[Legate of Amon Lanc]

Thranduil's emo-tendencies became apparent when he decided to make the radical step not only to cut his wrist, but to chop off his arm at the elbow.

OR

"This is a mithril shirt, see? Nothing can cut through it."

OR

When Thranduil woke up that morning, he realised his badly behaved teenage son had been at his pranks again: sticking twigs into his father's rich hair, well knowing that he won't be able to get it out.

OR

(lower part of the picture) Thranduil is successfully hiding a Finnish flag behind his back.

[MCRmyGirl4eva]

Thranduil: I want the Arkenstone... To use as a disco ball!

OR

Thranduil: You remind me of the babe.
Thorin: What babe?
Thranduil: The babe with the power.
Dwalin: What power?
Thranduil: The power of vudo!
Balin: Who do?
Thranduil: You do!
Oin: Do what?
Thranduil: Remind me of the babe!

It's voodoo, but still funny! Labyrinth rules!

[Lalwendë]

Thranduil: "Girl, I was dressing this way before Gaga."

[Hookbill the Goomba]

It's voodoo, but still funny! Labyrinth rules!

If you correct me again, I shall turn you into a prince...

...

PRINCE OF THE LAND OF STENCH!!

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

Seventies night was always a popular event in the Elven-king's hall.

[MCRmyGirl4eva]

If you correct me again, I shall turn you into a prince...

...

PRINCE OF THE LAND OF STENCH!!

*dies laughing*

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Elven jewelry can easily be removed, unfortunately Thranduil did not know this and proceeded to surgically remove it.

[MCRmyGirl4eva]

"I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt, so sexy it hurts..."

[Lalwendë]

Thranduil, also to be seen in Desperate Scousewives and The Only Way Is Essex. Reem, innit! :D

[MCRmyGirl4eva]

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_aH5Fy4TQdYQ/TPQukl7LoKI/AAAAAAAAAJ4/rf1kqkU-mj8/s1600/councilofelrond.jpg

[Inziladun]

"Gandalf, tell your Cousin Radagast that being 'one with nature' doesn't give him leave to appear at the White Council uncloaked!"

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

As no agreement could be reached, Gandalf simply pulled the giant switch and sent the dissidents into a watery and crocodile infested grave.

[MCRmyGirl4eva]

Watch the Middle-Earth series premiere of Marriage Counciling! Our fist couple: Gandalf the Grey and Lord Elrond of Rivendell!

[Inziladun]

"I will take Frodo as my Padawan learner."

[TheGreatElvenWarrior]

Letting go of all civilities for a moment the crowd erupted, the cries from outside the ring were "fight, fight, fight."

[Galadriel55]

"Calm down, Gandalf, you look worse than Barliman's wife after he overindulges in his prize ale!"

[Oddwen]

Gandalf leaned on his staff, panting heavily. These things only got more difficult the more he aged. Still, he proudly met the gazes of the gathered council and placed his hand saucily on his hip.

"Elrond," he proclaimed. "You just got served."

[Galadriel55]

"No, I will take the Ring!"

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Gandalf did not posses the voice of Saruman, but he had developed a rather effective technique of persuasion. In this case he was sure that he only had to hold his breath for a few minutes more, then Elrond would give in and the argument be won.

[Lalwendë]

Elrond: "What time do you call this? We ordered that pizza for delivery an hour ago!"

[Kitanna]

Gandalf: Who has been leaving hair in the drains?

[MCRmyGirl4eva]

Galdalf pouts when Elrond informs himthat his hair just doesn't keep up with the current styles. The witnesses watch with baited breath, more than willing to testify in court if Gandalf attacks Elrond for the constructive criticism.

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

Gandalf was forced to admit that, no, he'd never marvelled at the beauty of it; but if Elrond didn't stop showing off about that new robe he was going to scratch his eyes out.

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Gandalf's decision to demonstrate just how easily a hobbit can be impaled by a simple wooden staff shocked everyone, but in the end they all agreed it was the right thing to do.

[Galadriel55]

Paying attention to nothing but the argument at hand, no one noticed that while they were shouting at each other, both Frodo and the Ring disappeared...

[Mithalwen]

Gandalf refuses to accept Elrond's verdict that his rendition of "I'm a little teapot" wasn't good enough to get him through to the next round of Rivendell's got talent.

[Bêthberry]

Gandalf wonders how he is going to juggle the tube of A-535 rub on his back.

[MCRmyGirl4eva]

http://geektyrant.com/storage/page-images/saruman.jpeg?__SQUARESPACE_CACHEVERSION=1294851752 573

Sorry guys. Apparently this won't show as an image, so it's a link. Have fun!

[Inziladun]

Though carefully manicured, Saruman's thumbnail was a serious detriment to his bowling game.

[Inziladun]

"What do you mean, 'Reply hazy, try again'?"

[The Only Real Estel]

"I'm down to four fingers & one arm WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT, SAURON??"

[Galadriel55]

Saruman stares at the palantir with all two of his eyes.


Sauron stares back with all one.

[Nolwë_Namiel]

Now that I've got my knife handy, I'll just carve this baby into an image of the Great One himself.

[narfforc]

Saruman always used to spend time down the Bowling Alley on his days off........

[MCRmyGirl4eva]

Hey, I just met you,
And this is crazy,
But here's my order:
Build me and ar-may!

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Saruman was correct: From the right angle it looked like he was holding a crystal ball in his hand. However the novelty of it soon wore off, as the unknown planet collided with Middle-Earth.

[Oddwen]

"It's a Palantir. Nothing more. If you turn it this way and look into it, it will show you your dreams. But this is not a gift for an ordinary dotard whose brigands drink in the reek, and whose brats roll on the floor with the dogs."

[Hookbill the Goomba]

No matter how big and disgusting the wart on his hand got, Saruman refused to get it seen to. In fact, he started personifying it and calling it his new best friend.

[Tuor in Gondolin]

All right Gandalf, what do you say?.
I make this 7-10 split and you join me in ruling Middle-earth!

[Lalwendë]

Saruman was overjoyed to snag one of this year's limited supply of Heston Blumenthal's Whole Orange Christmas Puddings. "I can get £40 for this on eBay!"

[MCRmyGirl4eva]

http://images.wikia.com/lotr/images/6/64/Celeborn_and_Aragorn,_extended_version_FotR.jpg

http://images.wikia.com/lotr/images/6/64/Celeborn_and_Aragorn,_extended_version_FotR.jpg

Everything that you wanted I have done. You asked that the child be taken. I took him. You cowered before me, I was frightening. I have reordered time. I have turned the world upside down, and I have done it all for you! I am exhausted from living up to your expectations.

[Inziladun]

"Anyone ever tell you you look sort of like a frightened weasel?"

or

"So that's when the squirrel came to and really started protecting its nuts. Anyway, that's how I got this scar."

[MCRmyGirl4eva]

You will buy me ice cream, or you will suffer.

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Aragorn didn't quite believe him, but Celeborn was adamant that it was him that came up with the idea for frozen yogurt.

or

Once again Celebron defeated Aragorn in the ancient pastime of the Eldar known as "who can pee the longest".

[Unforgiven]

Hey, who does your flaxen hair? I could use a good wash and wax.

[Lalwendë]

The final show down in the All Middle-earth Mighty Mullet Competition starts to turn nasty when Aragorn accuses his opponent of using kirby grips rather than commit fully to the philosophy of 'business in front, party at the back'.

[Galadriel55]

"Do I know you from somewhere?"

[Nolwë_Namiel]

"Legolas is lying. I am most definitely not his father."

[Unforgiven]

"You could try to get closer to me... I'm in love... I'm in deep "

"Please come inside when you're ready to... But no chance if you don't want to dance"

[MCRmyGirl4eva]

Well, here's a new pic, since the old one seems to have dried up now.

http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20070505180157/lotr/images/2/2d/Smaug%27s_Treasure.jpg

Have fun with it!

[Inziladun]

After finally making the cover of Urulóki Monthly, Smaug was devastated to see the camera had added 10 tons.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

You might think that's fire, it's actually Smaug's fanciest toothpick.

[Oddwen]

Bilbo knew he had no chance to win the spaghetti eating contest when he saw Smaug slurping dragon pasta.

[Galadriel55]

Dragon workout.

[Inziladun]

The most vile deed of a dragon was turning the home of its prey into a litter box.

[Morsul the Dark]

Disembodied voice: "Like I said touch nothing but the lamp!"

[narfforc]

Even Smaug cannot stand The Hildebrandt Brothers artwork, and is attempting to burn it from within..

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Gotta clean up this place. Got a fine lady dragon coming over.

[Galadriel55]

Smaug looks for that one little special coin that once belonged to some Dwarf or other.

~~~

There was a good reason Smaug didn't bother with lightbulbs in his house.

[the phantom]

This is an artist's depiction of what it would've looked like had Smaug decided he wished to convert his beautiful piles of fantastic treasure into a formless molten pool. (Note: He almost definitely never did this.)

[MCRmyGirl4eva]

http://www.rhizomes.net/issue16/ashton/saruman_still.jpg

Have fun! (When did I become the officially unofficial photo updater?)

[Inziladun]

"Watch your step, Mithrandir. I haven't got those Orcs, er, I mean new dogs, trained yet."

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Saruman: Whatever you do, Gandalf, don't pull that leaver!

Gandalf: What? This leaver? *clank*

[Morsul the Dark]

Saruman; Gandalf you work too hard for the Halflings they can not change the course of time... Gandalf?

Gandalf; ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

[Oddwen]

Gandalf: Would you look at that!

Saruman: I try not to acknowledge the shorter races.

Or...

Smeagol and Deagol, version two.

Or...

Gandalf: Maybe you were right about these boots being much, much too large.

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Saruman: "Who is your hair stylist, Gandalf?
That beard needs one serious makeover, like ick!"

[Kuruharan]

Gandalf notices the sudden cliff while Saruman remains oblivious.

[Thinlómien]

http://i69.photobucket.com/albums/i55/Thinlomien/000bgqe2_zps0aa551c8.jpg

Bilbo: "This is the way you're supposed to hold it, right?"

or

Bilbo: "Die, bacon, die!"

[Inziladun]

Having lost his toenail clippers, Bilbo resorts to desperate measures.

[Legate of Amon Lanc]

Bilbo: "I am no useless Hobbit! I will pull this sword from that stone! I am the rightful King! I am the Prince that was Promised!"

OR

"Gotcha, Gandalf. That's for ruining my newly painted door!"

[MCRmyGirl4eva]

After ignoring the wise advice of Mithrandir, Bilbo consumes several of the wild mushrooms of Mirkwood. As such, he begins attacking his hallucinations of giant spiders.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Having being stuck in that position for several weeks, Bilbo was forced to finally admit that he didn't know how to carve a turkey.

[Lalwendë]

Bilbo: "Just keep still, Gandalf, do you really want the White Council to know you got a Hobbit to trim your fringe?"

[Oddwen]

Bilbo turned really fierce when he returned to Bag-End and found that no-one had dusted at all!

[Kitanna]

A dwarven haircut is no laughing matter.

[Galadriel55]

Martin Freeman didn't realize how dull movie props swords could be.

[Lalwendë]

Bilbo soon realised that an Elven sword is a boon when the Yule turkey is overcooked yet again.

[Tuor in Gondolin]

I claim this land for Spain.

[Galadriel55]

Bilbo is preparing his favourite meal - mushroom skewer. On his sword.

[THE Ka]

Bilbo soon learns that no one is safe from Gandalf's surprise hair-ball fits.

[Boromir88]

Bilbo: Hey look a new picture...

http://resources0.news.com.au/images/2012/12/04/1226529/758204-the-hobbit-an-unexpected-journey.jpg

Elrond: Milk, eggs, flour...hate to damper your enthusiasm but the only runes showing up this day is someone's grocery list.

[Kitanna]

Glow sticks...balloons...a petting zoo...a chocolate fountain? Elrond begins to rethink letting the dwarves celebrate Durin's Day in Rivendell after reading their list of supplies.

[Inziladun]

"Gandalf, I'll notarize this for you, but I still can't believe you took out a life insurance policy on Mr. Baggins."

[Tuor in Gondolin]

"50 Shades of...'. Woh! So this is what my
daughter's been reading when she visits her
nanna in Lorien!"

[Galadriel55]

Elrond: I can't see a thing! Bring me my reading glasses!

[Legate of Amon Lanc]

Elrond: "Aghagh... khukh... akagha..."
Gandalf: "So, you can read these ancient runes!"
Elrond: "No, I was just clearing my throat."

OR

"So that was fifteen single rooms, breakfast, stabling for ponies... it'll be 530 gold pieces, Gandalf."

OR

"Your references seem pretty good, Mr. Gandalf. You get the job."

OR

Elrond: "Gandalf? Are you serious about it? A bounty on Azog's head?"
Gandalf: "Well, we were thinking two can play that game."

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Gandalf: "I've got a spec script I think you'll find verrry interesting."

Elrond: "Let's see. In a hole in the ground there lived a burrahobbit.
Wait a minute. What's a burrahobbit? Gandalf, are you trolling for
backing of your latest Peter Jackson adaptation? I lost a bundle on
that King Kong turkey."

[MCRmyGirl4eva]

After reading Gandalf's latest "book", even Elrond found it difficult to seem sincere in his compliments.

OR

Elrond sincerely regrets listening to Bilbo and Gandalf's advice that he read Elladan and Elrohir's dream journals.

[Lalwendë]

Elrond checks that Gandalf actually completed the set of 100 lines he set for his punishment:

I must not uncloak
I must not uncloak
I must not uncloak
.......

[Lalwendë]

Gandalf: "So, I'm doing this sponsored walk in aid of the Homeless Dwarves' charity, how about a penny a mile?"

[MCRmyGirl4eva]

Bolbo and Thorin wait for their punishment after Elrond finds their copy of "100 Ways to Prank Gandalf"

[Lalwendë]

Gandalf: "I called in because you're really good with runes, and this blasted manual for my new DVD player may as well be written in them."

[Inziladun]

"The script be damned, Jackson. I'm not braiding Gandalf's hair".

[Lalwendë]

Middle-England Elrond: "So, now you've shown me what it says in the Daily Mail, I'm wholeheartedly behind your mission! LAYABOUT DRAGON SCROUNGES OFF HARD WORKING DWARVES. You have to do something or house prices will plummet!"

[MCRmyGirl4eva]

http://www.ageofthering.com/atthemovies/cast/haldir.jpg

[Inziladun]

"What do you mean 'look out for the White Hand behind you'?"

[MCRmyGirl4eva]

Haldir: "You have been sentenced to death by firing squad. Have you any final words?"
Aragorn: "Um..."
Haldir: "April Fool's!"

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Haldir refused to admit that he had missed his quiver when replacing his arrows. But this meant he was at a loss to explain why he was now paralyzed and his back had turned red.

[Galadriel55]

Haldir commands the squad of bodiless arrow-shooting hands.

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Haldir to Gimli:
"What we have here is a failure to communicate."

[THE Ka]

http://cdn.theatlantic.com/static/mt/assets/culture_test/the%20hobbit.jpg

Thorin: For the love of - It's just a dinner! Follow the instructions starting from the backside of the third page, second paragraph down, fourth sentence...

OR

Bilbo: So... When was the last time you filed taxes for the Mountain?

Thorin: I was thinking since there's a dragon holed up in there, I could, y'know, claim some of a deductible from one of those 'magical endangered species' charities? You can tell them he's been in there foreeeever, so, I'm gonna need some compensation. Yeah.

Bilbo: ... It says you haven't filed in years and anyways, they took dragons off the list last month.

Thorin: Hope you like being bait.

Bilbo: Hmm?

Thorin: Nothing...

[Ardent]

Thorin: How long must we sit inside this Omega symbol?

[Inziladun]

"Psst, Thorin! Why'd you give him your Birth Certificate?"

[Morsul the Dark]

Bilbo: Hmm mmhmm ok I know some of these words.

(for the Good Burger fans out there)

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Bag End was no ordinary hobbit hole, for one it had giant peepholes where others would have doors.

or

Bilbo was starting to get the hang of magic spells, now he just needed to figure out how to get the dwarves back out of the painting.

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Bilbo: "Let's see":
Preamble: Sauron, by the grace of God, king of England, lord of Ireland, duke of Normandy and Aquitaine, and count of Anjou, to the archbishop, bishops, abbots, earls, barons, justiciaries, foresters, sheriffs, stewards, servants, and to all his bailiffs and liege subjects, greetings. Know that, having regard to God and for the salvation of our soul, and those of all our ancestors and heirs, and unto the honor of God and the advancement of his holy Church and for the rectifying of our realm, we have granted as underwritten by advice of our venerable fathers, Stephen, archbishop of Canterbury, primate of all England and cardinal of the holy Roman Church, Henry, archbishop of Dublin, William of London, Peter of Winchester, Jocelyn of Bath and Glastonbury, Hugh of Lincoln, Walter of Worcester, William of Coventry, Benedict of Rochester, bishops; of Master Pandulf, subdeacon and member of the household of our lord the Pope, of brother Aymeric (master of the Knights of the Temple in England), and of the illustrious men William Marshal, earl of Pembroke, William, earl of Salisbury, William, earl of Warenne, William, earl of Arundel, Alan of Galloway (constable of Scotland), Waren Fitz Gerold, Peter Fitz Herbert, Hubert De Burgh (seneschal of Poitou), Hugh de Neville, Matthew Fitz Herbert, Thomas Basset, Alan Basset, Philip d'Aubigny, Robert of Roppesley, John Marshal, John Fitz Hugh, and others, our liegemen.

1. In the first place we have granted to God, and by this our present charter confirmed for us and our heirs forever that the English Church shall be free, and shall have her rights entire, and her liberties inviolate;...


Hey guys. Sauron is not into curbs on overlordship. You might want to walk this document over to Laketown. They're about the only democracy in Middle-earthy right now.

[Oddwen]

The first draft of "50 Shades of Gandalf the Grey" needed some editorial work.

Or...

Bilbo: "This isn't a contract, it's just the words "diggy diggy hole" repeated over and over."
Thorin: "And?"

[Lalwendë]

Bilbo: "WHAT?!"

The company waits to see if Bilbo will hurl his copy of A Storm Of Swords to the wall as he gets to that moment.

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Too late the dwarves discovered that they had given Bilbo the wrong contract, and so they had to deliver 350 Shetland ponies before the next day.

[Lalwendë]

Thorin: "Oi! Bilbo! Have you finished with the Palantir Times yet? I want to know what time Heir Hunters is on."

[MCRmyGirl4eva]

Seems it's time for a new picture!

http://heirsofdurin.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/trio.jpg

Thorin stares in disbelief at the unspeakably plain silver buckle on Kili's belt.

Or

Fili watches in amusement as a bird lines up to poop on Thorin's head

[Inziladun]

"Thorin, ever feel like cryin' and you don't know why?"

[Legate of Amon Lanc]

Kili: "Uncle, I know you crave to reclaim the treasure of our ancestors, but you should rather cast away the material needs and look for inner peace and serenity. Look, it's so simple. Ommmmmmm..."

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Kili: "Uncle, I know you crave to reclaim the treasure of our ancestors, but you should rather cast away the material needs and look for inner peace and serenity. Look, it's so simple. Ommmmmmm..."

Oommmmnomnomnomnom

Thorin: Kili, are you eating?

Kili: ... :Merisu:

[Kitanna]

Thorin and Kili attempt their best broody elf impressions while Fili tries to figure out what's in Kili's hair

[Galadriel55]

Kili and Fili: Three is Company.

Thorin: That's not majestic enough, we need 14!

[HerenIstarion]

Kili: Hey, Mister, wanna buy some coke? It's in this club here...
Thorin: um?
Fili: yeah, dude, that club is full of coke, best stuff?
Thorin: er...
Fili: No? Then we haz other stuff too, here, in these bagz

[Holbytlass]

Thorin to Kili: did you just step on a blue fairy?
Kili: um, noooooow

[Inziladun]

"What's with your hand, Kili? I told you not to tell Gandalf you'd rather be made of wood than see him uncloaked."

[Lalwendë]

Thorin: "Thanks for the beard hair. Don't you think it's jazzed up my cheap Primark Uggs a treat?"

[Gil-Galad]

Kili doesn't know how to break the news to Thorin that by wearing trees doesn't make him the shortest Ent ever.

[Kuruharan]

Thorin slyly checks to see if anybody noticed that he let one.

[MCRmyGirl4eva]

http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20060311091725/lotr/images/c/cf/Bagendwide.jpg

[Inziladun]

"This is what they call "The Hill"?! I've had larger warts."

[Lalwendë]

Five year old boys the length and breadth of the nation were slightly confused by the new episodes of Postman Pat.

[Mithalwen]

Gandalf was forced to downgrade from Shadowfax after Galadriel refused to share his penalty points for speeding

[Pervinca Took]

I wonder if this is what Tolkien envisaged when, without barrenness as a contrast, he wrote that he would come to hate all things green as a kind of fungoid growth. ;)

[THE Ka]

Gandalf: Sheesh, looks like another property tax evasion. Well, might as well lend a hand with that. Wizards are always marked under unnecessary guests in this part of Hobbiton... Maybe some illegal fireworks later on and unwelcome hordes of homeless dwarves too.

[Galadriel55]

The sign on the gate:

Admittance on Party Business:
THAT WAY
<--->

[Inziladun]

Despite lessons from Radagast, Gandalf's attempts at shape-changing left him part shark.

[Tuor in Gondolin]

What the ^%*#*! I TOLD Bilbo to make Bagend wheelchair accessible.
How the bleep will Bombur ever get to the door?

[Kuruharan]

Gandalf arrives at his first assignment as a professional lawn mower.

[Pervinca Took]

The radioactive pea soup from the Paths of the Dead managed to travel far through time as well as space.

[Mithalwen]

I always thought the pony looked like it was going backwards and now this advert has come out and I wonder...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ekr05T9Iaio&feature=youtube_gdata_player

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Gandalf is tired of singing "The road goes ever on and on" and strikes up a rousing refrain of "The wheels on the cart go round and round".

[MCRmyGirl4eva]

https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQ16hEKL6wEAhH8GcTpV15RR6c4KGt-34Fmuy8nSOimxM8ZoctL

[Inziladun]

"No one must know this is a strawberry Daquiri."

[Galadriel55]

"My mother says I must drink a cup of vinegar each day, or else I'll get freckles!" :(

Legolas won the competition for the most original mustache, and at the same time proved that Elves could grow facial hair.

[Oddwen]

Legolas, much like alcoholic Galadriel, wondered overmuch who would refill his cup for him.

Or...

Too late Legolas realized that Gimli had replaced his wine with glue!

Or...

Legolas drank his horsewater beer, but all the while dreamed of the strong wines of Dorwinion that he drank in the parties of his youth...

[Lalwendë]

Legolas vainly hoped that drinking out of a manly pint pot would make him look less girly.

[MCRmyGirl4eva]

Is this actually liquor? It tastes like p*ss!

[Inziladun]

Legolas desperately hoped the old adage about mead "putting hair on your chest" was factual.

[Pervinca Took]

Legolas was shyly hiding his temporary nose-job scars behind his tankard.

[THE Ka]

Legolas: Ok, you can do this. Remember how dad said... Handles are for babies, pre-game from the bottom up!

[Galadriel55]

"Please don't replace me with another image!"

http://fc09.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2010/213/3/3/The_Eye_of_Sauron_by_RobAndersonJr.jpg

(for easier viewing: http://fc09.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2010/213/3/3/The_Eye_of_Sauron_by_RobAndersonJr.jpg)

SAURON IS WATCHING YOU.

When the orcs rock, the eye :rolleyes: rolls.

Sauron wished his eye had a lid when the smoke from Orodruin got a bit too irritating.

"Dear God, when is my suffering going to end?" (seriously, doesn't it look like he's looking up?)

[Inziladun]

High-tech advertising couldn't save Sauron's Orcish Optometry.

[mormegil]

"Put all my malice in a ring and shape myself as a formidable eye, maybe I ought to rethink my life's decisions"

[MCRmyGirl4eva]

"Oh, when a villan, like me, is unattractive, he's flat-out evil. But when he's hot, like Loki, he's just misunderstood. There has to be someone to whom I can report. There's no way that this doesn't count as discrimination!"

[Morsul the Dark]

What do you mean, compensating?

[Galadriel55]

"What? Did Snaga set my kitchen on fire again?!"

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Plankton (loudly) as he stomps around Mordor:

All in Bikini Bottom will now bow down before me!"

[MCRmyGirl4eva]

http://www.bethebeard.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/gloin_458.jpg

[Kuruharan]

I think this will make an excellent picture for the sign outside of Gloin's Barber Shop.

[Inziladun]

Hobbits may have invented the game of golf, but Dwarves had Middle-earth's first field hockey league.

[Galadriel55]

i haz beard.

[mormegil]

I do not feather my hair.

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Did you know that Rumpole of the Bailey is my second cousin, twice removed (if you follow me).

[MCRmyGirl4eva]

The famous swordsmiths of Magic Might of Moria were actively seeking new, strong-looking fellows for their advertisments. Unfortunately, the selection process was not going as well as they'd hoped it would.

[Galadriel55]

"Hasta la vista, baby!"

[Galadriel55]

Yes, that's you I'm lookin' at.

http://images4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20080605162737/lotr/images/a/ae/Boromir34_b.jpg

[MCRmyGirl4eva]

This flimsy little chain is supposed to last all the way to Mordor? God, Elrond, you're cheap. Can't you even give Frodo a decent chain?

[Inziladun]

"I hope Mr. Jackson was right about this hypnotizing the audience into seeing this turkey again."

[MCRmyGirl4eva]

Okay, that last picture didn't seem to allow much inspiration, so how's this?

http://www.xtimeline.com/__UserPic_Large/10/ELT200707150424137658498.JPG

[Inziladun]

"That's the last time I eat Sam's 'fish and chips'."

[Legate of Amon Lanc]

Gandalf: "You were right, gringo. This place wasn't big enough for both of us."

OR

"Cool guys don't look at explosions."

OR

"Hear me, fellow people of Middle-Earth! A new power is rising! The old world shall burn in the fires of industry! A new age has come! March! Onward!!!"

[Bêthberry]

Where's that Indiana Jones? I'll get him for bringing out the snakes.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Gandalf always insisted that the smoke behind him matched his staff.