Crazy Captions

[CaptainofDespair]

Old Pics:

The Balrog has finally caught up with Gandalf.

Balrog: You!

Gandalf: Please, I didn't mean to!

Balrog: How dare you say my daughter looks like the most beautiful horse you've ever seen! I went through all that trouble setting your date up, and you do that!

Gandalf: Well, uhh...

Balrog: Time to die, Bill!

Gandalf: Wait! I'm not Bill!

Apparently, the Balrog forgot his glasses. Gandalf now wished they hadn't let poor Bill the Pony go.

New Pic:

Gandalf's School for Breakdancing Orcs seems to be failing, as all the dancers keep dying.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

:D

Gandalf: There are so many Orcs! 100,000 at least! I've got a plan. Pippin, distract them!

Pippin: :eek:

OR

Gandalf: Will you two guards stop playing rock, scissors, paper!

[Morsul the Dark]

Gandalf(to gondorian in background):Yoiu relize you have a sword right the guy's right in front of you use your sword not a bow!

-or-

Gandalf:Press the X button now come on I can use my special move! X,X,press X Darn you!

-or-

Gaandalf:I know the CGI artists are busy with Gollum but come on this is ridiculas(sp?)

[mormegil]

In the confusion of battle the gondorians and orcs forget whom they should be fighting and they instead of fighting each other they fight their own species.

(look closely and it appears that the gondorian soldiers are in combat and the two orcs are fighting each other)

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Orc (fighting Gandalf): You will no longer be uncloaked!

Gandalf: NOOOOO!!!!

OR

Gandalf and the Orc test out their new Disco moves.

[Gurthang]

Gandalf finally meets his end. Will he come back to life... again?

OR

Gandalf, looking down on the fallen warrior in front of him: "Now did I just kill an orc or a Gondorian? I can't tell!"

OR

Gandalf: "Why are you attacking me?! I only asked for directions!"
Orc: "You used MapQuest! I hate MapQuest!"

OR

Orc: "Gandalf, you've been naughty. Time for your spanking."

[Elennar Starfire]

Gandy: That dead guy is floating... :eek:

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Gandalf does not realise that the small fairy next to the fallen Orc was planning to make sure Gandalf got uncloaked at an inappropriate moment.

OR

Being a bodyguard for the Break-dancing Orcs was no easy task.

[Gurthang]

Many fell in the battle for the last ticket to see the Breakdancing Orcs Live!(They are in the background.)

OR

Gandalf suddenly sees that the orc he is fighting has an arrow stuck in his butt. That can't be normal.

OR

Gandalf: "How many times do I have to kill the same orc! Ack! There are two more already!"

OR

Darth VadOrc: "Obi-Gan-Dalf-Nobi. When I left you, I was but the learner. Now I have become the Master."
Obi-Gan: "You're only a Master of Evil, Darth!"

[the guy who be short]

Gandalf suddenly realises that glowing white in the middle of the night will make him particularly susceptible to Orc arrows.
Gandalf: Bugger.

[The Elf-warrior]

Burzum: "I've killed the grey fool!"

Gandalf: "No." (Digs his sword into the Orc then finishes him off with his staff.)

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

A good sword: $16
Sword-fighting lessons: $72
Getting a sword in the butt: Bad.

[Lhunardawen]

The End.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Gandalf: Look here, Orc, We need a New Picture and there is nothing you can do about it!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v604/hukbillgoomba/boromir29_b.jpg

Boromir prepared to kick the giant stone rugby ball after betting Gimli 4000 silver pennies! :eek:

OR

Boromir: Gandalf! Your cat has just made a mess on the floor! Clean it up!

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Dr. Boro-Who: That doesn't look like the TARDIS I remember!

[Gurthang]

Everyone knew what was happening. They knew Gandalf had done it again. He'd taken that blasted cloak off. That's why none of them looked his way. (Except Arwen, who was doing her best statue imitation in the background. :eek: )

OR

Boromir stands beside what had just been an egg, but was now flattened by some big stone thingy that had fallen from the rafters.

OR

Boromir: "What a great-looking hat!"

OR

Boromir is drunk and is having trouble walking that line.

[Holbytlass]

(Balrog pic) Gandalf: I didn't order 'HOT' wings, I wanted mild!

(council pic) Boromir: HEY! Who took my 'HOT' wings!

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

And lo! Elrond morphed into a block of stone, ensuring that Boromir would lose yet another bet.

[Lalwendë]

The Life Drawing class waits expectantly as their somewhat reluctant model approaches the podium.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Someone has written, "Boromir is an Orc" on the stone thing. Everyone suspects Elrond.

OR

Gimli watches in anticipation as Boromir approaches the secret trap door.

[Gil-Galad]

Boromir: i never wanted to be a Stewards Son, i always wanted to be...a Lumberjack!

*Elves in Mountie uniforms march in*

Boromir: leaping from tree to tree as they float down the mighty rivers of British Columbia! oh i would sing! sing! sing!

I'm a lumberjack and i'm okay i sleep all night and i work all day

Elvish Mounties: Hes a Lumberjack and hes okay, he sleeps all night and he works all day

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Guy behind Boromir: For the last time, you don't have heat vision! So just sit down!

OR

Boromir spots a penny on the floor! :D

[mormegil]

Boromir, with his cocky strut and fixed concentration, tried to mask the fact that he passed gas upon standing. The dwarves and humans were not fooled!

[Mithalwen]

Despite being surrounded by the finest dwarvish and Noldorin craftsmen remaining in Middle Earth, Boromir is the only one who notices that the giant sundial is upside down..

[Ainaserkewen]

Boromir: Wait a second...was that there before?

[Hookbill the Goomba]

People began to worry when Boromir began to hallucinate Aragorn bowing before him...

OR

Boromir prepares to eat the One Ring.

Gimli: He's going to do it! I can't believe it!

[Alcarillo]

Gimli was betting a bar of gold that Boromir would lose the staring contest against the pedestal.

[Lalwendë]

Boromir gamely offers to get up and change the channel on the mysteriously minimal Elvish television set. "They could at least pretend it has a remote. Weirdos."

OR

Many years ago, when cash was tight, Elrond agreed to allow McDonalds to sponsor his stone pedestals.

[Boromir88]

The Middle-earth strongest man competition gets under way.

Or...

Boromir: This is the Ring? But...Frodo said it was like carrying a 5,000 lb stone, not that it was one, I don't think he ment for us to take it literally.

Erestor: Well Frodo isn't here is he, so it's left to us. This is definitely the Ring. When Frodo said it was like carrying a 5,000 lb stone, he literally ment it was 5,000 lb stone. It's like how Balrogs have a shadow reaching out like two vast wings. Obviously, Balrogs have wings...Don't you know anything?

Man next to the Dwarf: Yes, also like how Sauron's an eye. They wouldn't refer to Sauron as an eye if he wasn't an eye.

Erestor: Exactly. So, Frodo wouldn't have told us it was like a 5,000 lb stone, unless it was a 5,000 lb stone. Get it?

[Naz]

Dr. Boro-Who: That doesn't look like the TARDIS I remember!

Arwen: DOC-TAH!

Random guy to his right: *acts like one of the guys from the episode with the giant eyeball creature*

(me: *is a geek*)

[The Elf-warrior]

Boromir: "Excuse me, is that a masonic symbol?"

[HerenIstarion]

Even finest Gondorian leather could not protect Boromir's nether regions from thumbtacks put on his chair by every single member of the council...

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Just as Boromir got up to change the channel, the evil Television thief strikes again! :eek:

OR

Boromir has "Kick me" written on his back, Gimli can hardly hold in his laughter.

[Holbytlass]

The Life Drawing class waits expectantly as their somewhat reluctant model approaches the podium.

Does that mean we'll see Boromir uncloaked?!! :D

[Lalwendë]

Boromir: "Sorry about this, lads. Just carry on without me for a few minutes. I think I've drunk too much Miruvor."

[CaptainofDespair]

Boromir can no longer hide his broken foot.

or

Boromir: Almost there...oh, darn it! I hate Mapquest!

:D

[Bêthberry]

Boromir: "This is a set up. There's supposed to be a sword in it. A huge sword. And I can remove it. I swear I can. I am the once and future Arthir."

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Boromir finally cracks, and challenges the block of stone to a joust.


or


Boromir had only turned away for a split-second, but it was a grave mistake. He looked back toward the pedestal, and noticed that the pie which he had left there was gone. Someone had stolen it. But who?

[mark12_30]

Boromir takes a deep breath before demonstrating his karate-chop.

[The Saucepan Man]

Boromir: No, no, no, no *hic* ... no! No, really. Lisshen *hic* to me. I know what we should do. Yesh I do. Really. I really really do. *hic* I really really really *hic* do. We should take thish ... er ... um ... what ish it again? Ah yesh ... thish ... er ... Ring thingy. *hic* And we should uszhe it againsht Shauma ... Sharum ... er ... that bad guy. Yesh, that'sh what I think. *hic* I really really really do. *burp* Ah, Aragorn mate, I love ya. I really do. You're me beshtesht mate in all the world. Um ... what were we talking about, again ...?

All Council members: *Thinking* Ignore him! Don't make eye contact! Maybe he'll just go away.

[the phantom]

Umm...guys...I think we have a problem. *stares at the spot where the Ring was just a second ago*

[mormegil]

All the bachelors from around Middle-earth watch Boromir intently as he demonstrates his "I'm a warrior of Gondor" approach to the mock woman in Elrond's class on Courting Elven Maidens 101

[Hookbill the Goomba]

The council was getting so boring that Boromir decided to eat the stone thing in the middle.

OR

Boromir's entry for the 'modern Art of the Year award' was surprisingly similar to something Gimli had seen in Rivendel once

[THE Ka]

Boromir tries to impress that last race he hasn't offended yet...

B: Whoa! Nice piece of rock here, I am most certian it's granite... glances at Gimli

G: flusters up Ah! You stooopid man! Any idiot can tell that's just a piece of styro-foam, cleverly painted to look like stone, and it's not even granite paint... You've clearly managed to offend me.

B: slowly falls back in chair...

Elrond: Gimli! I will have none of this! Clearly as you can see, this is a fine piece of china!


~ Aesthete

[Durelin]

Boromir would have knelt before Aragorn and recognized him as the true king if only he wasn't feeling so arthritic. Really, he would.

[wilwarin538]

Boro looks menacingly(sp?) at the new pic.

http://www.freewebz.com/lord_ofthe_rings/Bilbo2.jpg

Bilbo tries to joke his way out of getting arrested.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Bilbo shows off how many times he has changed the Riddles in the Dark Chapter.

OR

Bilbo shows off how many times he saw Gandalf the grey uncloaked. Frodo thought it was no laughing matter.

[CaptainofDespair]

Bilbo has decided to become a mime. Unfortunately for him, he has forgotten how to get out of the invisible box.

[Durelin]

"Look, you block-headed Bracegirdles! No hands!"

OR

Bilbo prepares to do something he has always wanted to do: put his hands up to his ears and flap them in a barbaric fashion, while making rhude noises with his tongue, right before the eyes of all the gentlehobbits of the Shire. Little does he know that the Ring is not on his finger. His vacation quickly becomes extended.

[elfearz1]

Sam: Do you really think this detour will get those Rivendell walkers off our trail? That Karen Wynn Fonstad seems to have a pretty good idea of the path we're taking!
:) I like it! That's a good one

[Fordim Hedgethistle]

Boromir: You sir, are a blockhead.

EDIT

For some reason I can't see the Bilbo picture, so I will do the best I can:

Bilbo: [Something outrageously funny].*

* With apologies to Gilda Radner.

[Lalwendë]

Bilbo: "Me? Silly? Oh Tra-la-la-lally! Where's the pipe-weed?"

[Hookbill the Goomba]

While all the Gondorians of Minas Tirith fled, Bilbo tried to distract the 100,000 strong Orc host with one of his famous speeches... it seemed to be working.

Or

Bilbo: I swear! The fish was this big!

Or even...

Bilbo tried his hardest to keep a straight face as he balanced ten very thin sticks on his fingers.

[the guy who be short]

Bilbo turns his back and counts to ten. If the cake's not gone by then, well - he won't be liable for anything that happens.

[mormegil]

Another one I can't see :(

[Lalwendë]

The merry grin betrays Bilbo's story about the barrel of ale beside him having been drunk by "those confounded boys from Tookborough and Buckland" to be a big old fib.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Another one I can't see :(

Any better, Morm? (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v604/hukbillgoomba/Bilbo2.jpg)

A caption:

Bilbo imitated the reaction of The Mouth of Sauron's Private dentist.

[CaptainofDespair]

Bilbo was disturbed when Peter Jackson, as a hobbit, decided to go uncloaked.

[Bêthberry]

Bilbo: "Say, Mr. Spock, what is that hand trick you do again?"

[mormegil]

thank you Hookbill

Bilbo: "You do the Hokey Pokey and you turn yourself around...that's what it all about"

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Emperor Bilbotine prepares to do Force Lightning on Frodokin Skywalker.

[Alcarillo]

The shirriffs catch Bilbo Baggins smuggling Old Toby into the East Farthing.

[Kitanna]

Bilbo: *holding up fingers for Frodo* I have only had this many pints!

[Glirdan]

Bilbo: Ten! READY OR NOT! HERE I COME!

[Oddwen]

Bilbo demonstrates what he would do if 200,000 Orcs Showed Up At His Door.

Or...

Fine, lynch me! You'll be sorry...whoa, that's a big knife...hey, what, no! no! no! Please not the waistcoat...arrrrrrgh!

Or...

Bilbo does the Wave for Boromir the Disco King!

[The Elf-warrior]

Bilbo gets held up by Merry and Pippin.

[HerenIstarion]

scene 1:

Blibo, being stopped on the road by hooded and cloaked persons: These funny folk think I carry my gold on me, hehe, when I invested it into real estate ages ago.

scene 2:

After the feast (more or less) came the Speech. Most of the company were, however, now in a tolerant mood, at that delightful stage which they called ‘filling up the corners’. They were sipping their favourite drinks, and nibbling at their favourite dainties, and their fears were forgotten. They were prepared to listen to anything, and to cheer at every full stop.

'My dear People', began Bilbo, rising in his place. 'You all see my hands are empty, don't you? Look now how I'll make the cake vanish magically'. Bilbo put up his hands and began to murmur mysteriously abracadabra...ep-pe, pep-pe, kak-ke...hil-lo, hol-lo, hel-lo...ziz-zy, zuz-zy, zik...

'Hear! Hear! Hear!’ they shouted, and kept on repeating it in chorus, seeming reluctant to follow their own advice. Cries of Yes (and No) were heard, noises of trumpets and horns, pipes and flutes, and other musical instruments. There were, as has been said, many young hobbits present, and all would be delighted to see some magic performed by notorious Mad Baggins.

But old Rory Brandybuck was not so sure. Neither age nor an enormous dinner had clouded his wits, and he said to his daughter-in-law, Esmeralda: ‘There’s something fishy in this, my dear! I believe that mad Baggins is trying to swindle us.

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Bilbo: Now you see 'em, now you don't!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Bilbo could never get the hang of Simon says.

OR

The giant chocolate bar thief strikes again! :eek:

[The Saucepan Man]

Although not as young as he once was, Bilbo still knew all the moves to YMCA.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

"Ladies, ladies, one at a time, please!"

[Holbytlass]

Emperor Bilbotine prepares to do Force Lightning on Frodokin Skywalker.

Bilbotine: Frodokiiiin, I am your uuuncle!!!.....no, wait......I am your coouusin! no, uncle but maybe it's cousin?!....

[Mithalwen]

Bilbo tried to pretend he hadn't known about his "suprise" party

or

Bilbo always insisted on doing his Al Jonson impersonation when he had had a few..

[Boromir88]

Ai! Ai! (not screaming about a balrog) but I's can't see this pic!

[Mithalwen]

Click the link Hookbill provided for Mormegil in 6813

[Oddwen]

The Boromir pic:

Boromir approaches the buffet, only to find it empty!

The Bilbo pic:

Pishtush, Frodo my lad! I made up all that stuff about the Dwarves. Now let's go try on some clothes, eat and laugh fruitily!

Or...

Bilbo discovers "Shadow Puppets"

"Here's a Ringwraith, and here's an Orc, here's the Eye of Sauron, and here's a huge spider, and oo, an Easterling!"

Or...

In his later days, Bilbo took to burgling the larger hobbit holes.

"No no no my dear sir, the cake was following me home!"

[The Saucepan Man]

Bilbo: My tale is not part of the Legendarium? *chuckles* My dear davem, you surely cannot be serious.

;)

[Morsul the Dark]

Bilbo: I told you guys I'm 111 and yet you put 113 candles on my cake you know not only women are offended when you make them older!

Bilbo relizes being well-preserved makes it hard to say how old he is

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Bilbo was particularly talented at playing two games of rock paper scissors simultaneously.

[Boromir88]

Click the link Hookbill provided for Mormegil in 6813
Why thank you Miss Mithalwen, and Mr. Goomba for providing the link. :)

Bilbo: OK Maggot, you caught me. I stole your mushrooms all these years, it wasn't Frodo. But, I must admit, it was fun making it look like my nephew did it. :D

[THE Ka]

Bilbo: Okay, okay I didn't touch the cake... I wouldn't be too sure about those wine bottles though...*hik*

(Starts humming 'It's my party and I'll drink if I Want To'...)

~ Aesthete

[Lalwendë]

Press Release from Bywater Media:

An advance shot of the new Bilbo Baggins Workout Video - Gentle Exercise for the Elderly Hobbit. It should sell well in the month of Afteryule when Hobbits make promises (soon to be broken) to work off the excess cake and Old Winyards.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Bilbo auditions for Thunderbirds.

OR

Bilbo: Don't be stupid! Everyone knows there is no such thing as cakes!

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Bilbo: Bert? Tom? Bill? I thought you turned to stone . . . wait, what's that club for . . . Hey, I told you I'll pay you back! No, wait a minute . . . Augh!!!

[Boromir88]

Bilbo: Calm down, you don't have to create such a ruckus...ok I'll skip the speech, here's the new picture.

http://www.elfenomeno.com/imag/trailer_erdr/imagenestrailer_erdr_111.jpg

Gandalf: Umm, Aragorn...did you just fart?
Aragorn: Gandalf! How could you accuse me of such a thing.
Gandalf: Well it really stinks, and I know it's not your odor.
Eomer: (proudly) That was me Gandalf.
Legolas: Ya, and it reeks.
Gimli: I've had worse.

[mormegil]

*sigh* can't see this one either...sorry. :(

[CaptainofDespair]

Gimli: Omg!!1!!111!
Aragorn: What?
Gimli: This is awesome!
Aragorn: What is?
Gandalf: *sighs* His feet can touch the floor...

or

Gandalf: Uh...Aragorn...I need you to get me something...
Aragorn: What? A new cloak?
Gandalf: No...I need some Preparation H. I won't be able to sit down without it.

[Kitanna]

I cannot see the picture either.

[CaptainofDespair]

http://www.elfenomeno.com/imag/trailer_erdr/imagenestrailer_erdr_111.jpg

Edit: Just to let you all know, clicking the above link produces an error. Merely hit Enter, or click Go, or whatever, again, and it should work.

For those who can't see it, try quoting the post in which the defective pic is in, and just copy/paste the url to another browser window. That should work.

[Kitanna]

Thanks for the tip CoD, but sadly the link is not working either. Looks like I'll have to wait for the next picture. :(

[Morsul the Dark]

Personally i think it looks like a picture Mad Magazine would draw and write about what would they say hmmm.....
with all mad magazine inspired names and lines

GunElf:The plot hole in this scene is stunning

Aragance:What do you mean?

GunElf:No one cares that gimpy is sitting Thenandnow's chair?

BlockHeadfinal:Surely no one will notice

NeverMore:Yes Captain obvious is correct no one will notice this mistake

Aragance:Peter Jackson will have to answer for this one with all the geeks that do notice!

[arcticstorm]

King Gimli and his loyal subjects

[Boromir88]

If an X appears where the picture should, right click on the X area, go to properties, copy the URL, and paste it in the web address box.

See if this works though, so nobody has to go through that hastle...
http://www.elfenomeno.com/imag/trailer_erdr/imagenestrailer_erdr_111.jpg

Erm Edit:...well this is the same link Captain posted, but I've test it and it works for me (atleast).

[Morsul the Dark]

If an X appears where the picture should, right click on the X area, go to properties, copy the URL, and paste it in the web address box.

See if this works though, so nobody has to go through that hastle...
http://www.elfenomeno.com/imag/trailer_erdr/imagenestrailer_erdr_111.jpg

Erm Edit:...well this is the same link Captain posted, but I've test it and it works for me (atleast).

Note the link works if you've seen the picture already(oddly enough)

For those who can't see it, try quoting the post in which the defective pic is in, and just copy/paste the url to another browser window. That should work.
this worked for me

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Try this (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v604/hukbillgoomba/imagenestrailer_erdr_111.jpg) link. If that dosent work, then shoot me.

Now lets get down to captions!

************************************************** ***************

Gandalf: So, why did you eat the Palantir?

OR

Gandalf: Why do you think Eomer is a pansy?

Eomer: I heard that!

[The Saucepan Man]

Gandalf: A diversion!

Legolas: *sulks* Hmmph! That's my line.

**************************
When the picture just shows as an X, I always find that the best solution is to right click on the picture, click on Properties and then copy and paste the URL Address into a new Browser Window.

Edit: The little X seems magically to turn into the picture when you do that too ...

[Durelin]

Gandalf (mutters): Is he looking at me again?
Aragorn: Who? Legolas?
Gandalf: Who else!
Aragorn: Yes, why?
Gandalf: How do I look? Make sure I don't have anything on my arse, will you. It's tough wearing white these days...

[Bêthberry]

Gandalf: "What do you mean there's been a mistake? How can you have given us all the same appointment? What kind of hair salon is this?"

[Morsul the Dark]

Gimli sits down:This could take hours,days.....

Gandalf: so gothmog was the best of the breakdancing orcs.
Aragorn:no....Grishnak was
Eomer:Now hold on a second! Karshna was definately the best

Legolas(in his captain obvi0ous way):We're judging the breackdancing orc contest

[The Elf-warrior]

Gimli: "I decree that March 17th is Rock Appreciation Day."

Gandalf: "I don't think it was a good idea to let Gimli sit on the throne."

Aragorn: "Me neither. I think it's time for a coup d'état."

Meanwhile Eomer is trying to get Legolas to play matchmaker for him.

Eomer: "Look, your inbox is overloaded with swooning fangirls. Why can't I talk to any of them?"

Legolas: "They want me, not you. You can talk to them after they are imprisoned for stalking, Ok?"

Eomer: "Ok..."

[mormegil]

Eomer of the Rohirrim approaches PJ in an attempt to complain to him about the inappropriate use of Gimli as the character for comic relief.

_______________________________
For further information see giggles (http://www.forum.barrowdowns.com/showthread.php?t=11829&highlight=giggles)

[Kitanna]

There's an intense stare down, the first to look away will have to tell Gimli about the corn in his beard...

PS: Thanks for the link Hookbill.

[Glirdan]

Gandalf and Aragron are preparing for a hardcore final rock, paper, scissors game.

Or

Gandalf: Ha! Bilbo won't think of looking here!
Aragorn: Yes he will.
Gandalf: How did you find my hiding spot! I was here first!
Legolas: Too bad, were staying!
Gimli: Ya! Were not moving!
Gandalf: Fine!
Eomer: Ok, now that that is settled, what happens if he finds us? :eek:

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Gimli recounts the History of Middle Earth from the Dwarves point of view...

Gimli: There was Eru, who in Arda is called; Gimli. And he made first the Dwarves, the cool ones, that were the offspring of his thought...

Aragorn: Is all this true?

Gandalf: Don't be stupid.

[Lalwendë]

Tensions began to mount in the Citadel as it became clear that Gimli did not give a damn about the Minas Tirith ban on smoking in the workplace.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Gandalf: How long has that elf been following us?

OR

Gandalf: since when did I say that you'd be king?

Aragorn: Yesterday. And the day before. And in Moria. And at the Council of Elrond. And when I first met you. And when I was first Born. And just before I was conceived. And-"

Gandalf: Well, I don't remember it.

[Lalwendë]

Gandalf (whispering) : "Why didn't you tell him before he sat down in that chair?"

Aragorn: "What's wrong with the chair?"

Gandalf : "There's a tale going round that the last eight people to have sat in it have all mysteriously fallen pregnant."

[davem]

Legolas: 'I've hurt my elbow.'

[Orominuialwen]

Bilbo is just about to attack his guests for giving him a large block of styrofoam with sticks in the top instead of a cake. (If you look closely, the cake looks very fake.)

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Gandalf: So it's 10,000 silver pennies?

Aragorn: Yes.

Gandalf: And all I have to do is keep my cloak on for a whole week?

Aragorn: Yes.

Gandalf: Hmmm... ... Make it 20,000 and we've got a deal.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Gandalf: I didn't do it.

Aragorn: I think you did.

Gimli: Well, someone must have done it.

Éomer: Let's put this to a vote.

Legolas: Has anyone seen Pippin lately?

[Alcarillo]

Gandalf to Aragorn: Why in the world would you choose Gimli to be your Steward?

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Gimli: Hmmm . . . I say Legolas's statue of Aragorn is better. It's more realistic. I can smell his stench from over here.

Éomer: Hey, my Gandalf sculpture comes with uncloaking action!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Aragorn: So, did it have wings?

Gandalf: I'm not sure, it looked like the shadow were shaped like wings... but then I didn't have my glasses on, so I wouldn't really know.

Gimli: So we went to Moria for nothing!

[Oddwen]

Gandalf*whispering*: It's not my fault! Who could know that Gimli would be the first to fall for the Ring?

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Aragorn: "It's tough, I know, but one of them is a foul lupine."

Gandalf: "I cannot bear the thought of killing another innocent..."

Aragorn: "Let's think logically. Gimli saved the Witch-King at the expense of Boromir, a known innocent, and look at how that turned out! Why have we kept him alive this long?"

Gandalf: "He's the Cobbler, I'm sure of it!"

Aragorn: "I can't trust you anymore Gandalf. I mean, sure you were the Hunter (and did us a great service in getting rid of the Balrog) but ever since you were resurrected by the Moddess Mithalwen you've appeared a bit dodgy to me..."

Gandalf: "What? Dodgy? How scandalous! I am now suspecting you Aragorn of werewolvery!

Aragorn:" O yea! Suspect me because I suspect you. Way to play the game, old boy."

Éomer: "I'll just tell you now that I'm the Seer and I know for a fact that Gandalf is innocent."

Captain Obvious: "One of us is a werewolf."

Gimli: "I say we kill Legolas."

Everyone else: "Agreed!"



*100 Bonus Points to the person who votes for the Werewolf first. Votes should be in this style: ++the phantom * (it is not compulsory that you vote for the phantom)

[Hookbill the Goomba]

++ Aragorn. Legolas is too obvious ;) Gimli is probably just not very good at the game and Gandalf is probably the seer.... Like Gimli, I'm not very good at this game...

Anyway, a caption:

Gandalf: *sniff, sniff* Aragorn, are you wearing Perfume? Rohirum Perfume if I'm not mistaken.

[mormegil]

++Eomer


Gandalf: Is Legolas doing his horrible impression of Gene Simmons again?

Aragorn: Quiet! You know he'll be devastated if he hears you speak of him that way. And we know how emotional he got last time you poked fun at his impressions.

[CaptainofDespair]

Gandalf: No, Aragorn. We cannot march up to the Black Gate.
Aragorn: Why not?
Gandalf: Because.
Aragorn: Because why?
Gandalf: Because!
Aragorn: Because why?!

or

Gandalf: I have a new plan.
Aragorn: No, we won't give Boromir's plan a try.
Gandalf: Well, we don't have the Ring, so it won't work. I want to do something else.
Aragorn: What is it?
Gandalf: We put Gimli on the catapult, and fling him at the Great Eye.
Aragorn: No...
Legolas: Gimli's going somewhere?! I want to go too!
Aragorn: On second thought, that plan sounds great, Gandalf.

[THE Ka]

Gandalf: Pist Aragorn...

Aragorn: What?

Gandalf: I'm all for sharing, but well, I don't know about you... looks at the sky...

Aragorn: Know about what?! Tell me!

Gandalf: Well, i heard from a close friend, who's best friend heard that Gimli has... Human-Eating Lice! They only attack men, but use dwarves as hosts! I suspect a plot!

B-Rated suspence music

Aragorn: No! You don't say... I thought... I thought...

Gandalf: I know! We all did! You must act now though before you too fall victim to the Human-Eating Lice!


~ Aesthete

[mormegil]

Gandalf: They can't be replacing us can they?


http://www.theargonath.cc/characters/wormtongue/pictures/wtttbarahir5.jpg

Grima's removable finger act was always a smash hit at the Rohirrim socials

[CaptainofDespair]

Grima has done something terrible.

Saruman: No, it can't be!
Grima: Yes! I am the new Dracula! You have been replaced, Lee!
Saruman: No!!!!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Just as Grima was showing off how many times he had seen Gandalf the grey uncloaked, he realised he now had to correct himself.

OR

Grima: What's wrong with the ceiling? I designed it myself! Why do you mean, "That’s the problem"?

Or, yet...

Grima: Yes it's true! I am The Mouth of Sauron's dentist!

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Despite the handicap of having his hands permanently clenched together, Grima was still able to deliver a strong gesture to those who would doubt him.

(Come on, you're all thinking it. ;) )

[Glirdan]

Grima: Fine! If you're going to be like that, I'm only going to count to one!

[Boromir88]

Gandalf: Aragorn, could you dress up like a woman?

Aragorn: Huh?

Gandalf: We need to distract Sauron, so I need someone to dress up like a woman...and quite frankly, don't take this the wrong way, but your the cutest one here?

Aragorn: Umm, no have someone else do it.

Eomer: I'll look like a woman.

Gandalf: Great.

Legolas: Hey I'm cute!

Ohh. and I can't see this picture, my usual way of seeing it doesn't work either.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Grima: Don't make me use this!

OR

Grima tries to stop the evil pointing finger climbing up to his neck.

[Durelin]

Grima: And then Gollum did this to Frodo...

[Kath]

Grima: Oh no! It's the finger! The disembodied finger! Help me!

[Lalwendë]

Grima joins the Acolytes Union.

"And this is what you can do with your job if I don't get a payrise, one week's extra leave and one of those nice padded, fully adjustable office chairs!"

[The Saucepan Man]

Grima: The Ring fell into the fires of Mount Doom with some wretched creature, Master. But I thought that you might find this useful.

Saruman: *burying his face in his hands* Good grief!

[Encaitare]

Brad Dourif was in a foul mood after having to run from the set of Dune to the set of LotR, and when PJ mentioned that all his Mentat makeup hadn't washed off, Brad told him to do something extremely rude.

[THE Ka]

Grima: Hah! Look I have managed to have an on-site job afiliated injury! Now where's my medical! Don't make me call the union!

Saruman: Looks up from a newspaper... Grima, your under slave-bond remember? Besides, that palantir is heat-resistant...

~ Aesthete

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Gríma: Master, master, I bit my tongue! Somebody remembers me!

Saruman: Of course you'll bite your tongue! It's in your mouth. Now, for instance, if you accidentally bit your elbow, I'd say we might be on to something.

[Oddwen]

Somebody stop me before I poke myself in the eyeeeeEEEEEE!!!

[The Elf-warrior]

Grima: "Eowyn, my finger would look better with a wedding ring, whoo, ha, ha, ha!"

*Eowyn wakes up screaming.*

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Gríma: I want finger puppets!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Grima: That Balrog gave me a splinter! And he burned my back! And I think I'm traumatised for life!

Saruman: Did it have wings?

Grima: I didn’t see, I was too busy trying not to die!

Saruman: Well go back out there and find out!

[Oddwen]

"This little piggy went to market..."

Or...

"Saaaaaaaaruman! I need a bandaid, I got a booboo!"

Or...

"I think I need surgery, my finger keeps falling off!"

[Glirdan]

Grima: * Points finger at Saruman* Sit down and eat your cookie!

Saruman: Who's working for who?

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Grima: Look up there! It’s a new pic!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v604/hukbillgoomba/Eomer_RotK_31.jpg

The Pain Eomer experienced from sitting on his horse too fast was nothing compared to the guy who had his hand eaten by the horse.

OR

Eomer kind of over reacted to Gandalf the grey uncloaked

[The Saucepan Man]

Eomer: DON''T touch my horse, you miserable peasant!

[Glirdan]

Eomer: Eorlingas! We have one second to ride as fast we can before Grima turns around to find us! Are you with me!?!?!?

Eomer's flag bearer: Yes si...... Since when are we playing hide and seek!?!?

Guy sticking out his hand: Cool! Im in a movie!

Eomer: Since Bilbo's birthday you doornob!!

Guy sticking out his hand: Nice horsey, nice hors.... OWWW!!! HE BIT MY HAND OFF! WHY YOU!!!!!!!

Glirdy

Ps. Sorry for the randomness.

[Kath]

Karl Urban: Oy! PJ! Get this idiot out of my shot!

[Mithalwen]

Eomer realises too late that Eowyn put her sidesaddle on Firefoot for a joke... again.......

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Random Rohirum: Sir, there is a huge hole in your armour around your backside.

Eomer: DDDDAAAAAAAAMMMMMMNNNNNNN!!!!!!!

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

"Watch out kid! There's no muzzle on this horse; and he's hungry!"


or


"We're fighting a battle in a minute; where's my helmet!"


or


"Where's that Grimbold?; he stole my wallet!"


or


"Get me another spear; mine's been eaten by termites!"


or


"Wait! Don't start fighting yet; there's a girl totally checking me out over yonder!"

[mark12_30]

The guy riding behind Eomer: "I think I'll let him pull a little further ahead."

[dancing spawn of ungoliant]

Eomer: Haaaaaaaaamm! (http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/208318)

[THE Ka]

Eomer: DON''T touch my horse, you miserable peasant!


The 25th annual Most Pretty of Rohan Awards were a wonderful, but rather stressfull event for everyone, since parking was tight and of course they all brought only their best horses...

Eomer: Hey! Watch the Cadillac! Don't part it next to that Honda either!

~ Aesthete

[mormegil]

Eomer: ARGHHHHHH!!!!

Eomer's battle speech wasn't as moving as Theoden's therefore it was wisely editted from the final screen version.

[Lalwendë]

Even when going into battle Eomer was prone to Diva moments. "What the hell have you done, you fool of a groom? I wanted the Gucci saddlery today, not the Dior! I'm going to look so last season now!"

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Eomer: Right! We are riding into battle. Any questions?

Guy with horse: Well, I was just wondering-

Eomer: Don't answer back!

Guy: What? I didn't.

Eomer: Don't contradict me!

Guy: I didn't.

Eomer: You just did! Right! If one more of you speaks, then you all get it in the neck. Is that clear? ... ... ... I said, is that clear?

Rohirum: yes sir.

Eomer: RIGHT! THAT'S IT! I WARNED YOU!

[Lalwendë]

Karl: "When the day is dawning
On a mirky Gondor morning
How I long to be there
With the orcs who are waiting for me there
Every lonely city where I hang my hat
Ain't as half as pretty as where those Orcs are at
Is this the way to Minas Tirith?......."

PJ: "Cut! Contrary to what you think, Mr Urban, this isn't the Tony Christie musical tribute version of Lord of the Rings!"

[Oddwen]

Nobody liked attending the ride-thru of the Burger King when Eomer ordered there.

"I tell you, I didn't get a toy with my Merry Meal! They are magical toys from Dale and I want the whole set! AND I WANTED A MILKSHAKE!"

Or...

You! Yes, you! My horse wants to speak to you!

Or...

Everyone shut up! I have a headache!

Or...

Bourne! You can disguise yourself in those Orcen garments, but I'll find you anywhere!

Or...
(not funny)

Death, Death, Death!

Or...

I won't go quietly to the gallows, I tell you! I'M GIFTED!

Or...

Eomer yodels merrily as the nice doctors in the shiny armor take him away.

Or...

Eomer's proposed new anthems for the people of Rohan did not go down well with the people themselves.

"Oh I wish I were an Oscar Meyer wiener..."
"Aaaaaaeeeaaaaaai, will always love youuuuuuuuuuuu!"
"Who let the horses out? *snort, snort snort*"
"Weeeee are the champions, my friends..."


Or...

Eomer gets in a shouting match with an Orc.

"Balrogs do so have wings!"

Or...

(From his vantage point he watches the battle...)

NO! Tell that soldier that they're not supposed to attack the triple-thick hides of the Oliphaunts! Go for the eyes, you fool!!

Or...

"Oddwen! Stop making up captions and let someone else have a turn!"

[Gil-Galad]

Eomer: I'm Arthur! King of the Britons!

Soldier: king of the who?

Eomer: the britons!

Soldier: who are the britons?

Eomer: we all are

Soldier: i never knew that

[The Elf-warrior]

Eomer: "Can we fight?"

Rohirrim: "Yes."

Eomer: "Louder! Can we fight?"

Rohirrim: "YES!! NOW SHUT UP AND FIGHT!"

[Boromir88]

Eomer: DEEEEEEEAAAAAAAATTTTHHHHH!!!!
Guy holding horse: My lord, that's not until a few scenes later.

Or....


Guy holding horse: Sir, I'm right next to you. You don't need to raise your voice.
Eomer: Raising my voice...No...THIS IS RAISING MY VOICE!!!!


Or, for anyone who's seen the Austin Powers movies....

Eomer: Sorry, sometimes I have trouble controlling the VOLUME OF MY voice.

Or....

Eomer: AAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKK!!!!SCREAAAAAACH!!!!
Peter Jackson: For the last time, you can't be one of the Nazgul, you'll get the role I assigned to you.

Or...

Eomer: SPIIIIIDDDDERRRRR!!!!

[Oddwen]

G: I am making a point here!

Or...

G: You have a point there...

Or...

G: Do you mind? I'm trying to make a point!

Or...

Grima: I like that picture above!
Saruman: Your point being...?

Hahaha...yeah. Insomnia is a wonderful thing.

[wilwarin538]

Eomer prepares his jaw for his dentist appointement later that day.

[The Only Real Estel]

Eomer: "No I will not stop to sign your three month old baby!"

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Théoden: Riders of Rohan! This is our hour to shine! We will shake the ground and-

Eomer: RRROOOAAARRRRR!!!

Théoden: err... Eomer, why don't you just go and sit in the corner.

[Mithalwen]

Eomer has a hissy fit - "I am about 20 minutes from being king so why have I got the smallest horse?"

[Bêthberry]

Eomer: "When I want you to lance my boils, I will tell you so."

[Glirdan]

Eomer: I SAID I WANTED MOCCA!!!!! NOT VANILLA!!!!!!!

[The Only Real Estel]

Eomer: "My yells do to carry farther than Faramir's! Look, I'll prove it to you..."

[Holbytlass]

Medieval Road Rage

[wilwarin538]

Eomer broke a nail.

[Naz]

Playing off of Holbytlass...

Medieaval Horsejacking.

[Glirdan]

Eomer: I said I wanted bacon with my eggs, not ham!!! First the caffine, now my breakfast. Why can't you people get it right!?!?!
PJ: That wasn't in the script!!!!

or

Eomer: Help!!! He's after me!!!
Solider : Stop him!! He stoll my wallet!!
Solider on horse: Here sire!! Pass it to me!!!
Eomer: HA! Now we can play monkey in the middle!!!
Solider: Hey *jumps* that's *jumps* not *jumps* fair!! *jumps* *THUD* OWWW!!!!!! MY HEAD!!!!

[Gurthang]

Eomer: "You! Were you in charge of navigation!"
Soldier: "Yu-y-yes, sss-sir. I u-used M-MapQuest."
Eomer: "Blast! I should have known. Ohh! I hate MapQuest!"

OR

Eomer: "I can sing higher, higher than you..."

OR

Eomer doesn't see the man coming up to stab him in the back.

OR

Soldier: "Sir, the battle is that way!"
Eomer(clearly not knowing): "I know that! I was just making sure you were paying attention!"

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Éomer found where his sword was.

[The Only Real Estel]

The old whoopie-cushion-on-the-day-of-battle trick didn't seem to be recieved well by Eomer.

[Boromir88]

Eomer: I want a new picture up and I want it now!
Guy holding Horse: Sir, we got one.
Eomer: WELL, where is it!


http://www.warofthering.net/quintessential/movieshots_ttt/faramir_hennethannun_tn.jpg

Madril: So, you got the Ransom letter done Captain.

Faramir: Yes, it says...Dear Sauron, I have your ring. If you want it, you must withdraw your troops from Osgiliath, and tell Denethor I did it.

Madril: Sounds good sir, but what's with the P.S. Oh, and give me some fluffy bunnies.

[Ainaserkewen]

Eomer:
"Everyone needs to calm down. *girlish squeals* THIS IS NO TIME TO PANICK!"

Faramir:
"I didn't know we could still get Atlantic Salmon on the Anduin. Nice of them to send some though."

[Lalwendë]

Faramir and the Flatpack Furniture.

Faramir: "Clearly they put in two Piece Gs and didn't put a Piece F in the box. And there are three screws missing."

Eowyn (shouting from the kitchen) : "Next time read the instructions before you try to put the shelves together. Tch."

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Faramir and his men puzzle over the strange uncloaking patterns that Gandalf uses.

Faramir: We'll get him one day!

[Bêthberry]

Madril: "Well, that's my two cents' worth anyway."

Faramir: "I see you haven't been nipped yet by Rimbaud's Phantom Finance Foible-metre."

[Lalwendë]

Faramir: "According to the map we should have taken the first turning on the right a mile back. That's where the short cut is."

Madril: "No, it was second on the right. I'm sure. If we keep on this way it will cut five minutes off the journey time."

Faramir: "No cause then we'll get to those awful traffic lights coming out of the Morgul Vale. Always loads of traffic there."

Madril: "I'm right. If we go your way then there are roadworks, and that one-way system."

Faramir: "I'll get Eowyn, she's a woman, she'll know how to use the road atlas."

[mormegil]

David Wenham: According to this map the hidden script is hiddden here *points*

Other actor: And you think by showing PJ this, he'll make your character a good guy.


or


Faramir: So all we need to do is travel 10 leagues north turn west for one league then we shall find the treasure.

Madril: What treasure is that my lord?

Faramir: Why the map that will show us the way to the ring of power.

Madril: Ummm my lord you just let the hobbit go who had that very ring.


or

(for gurthang)

Faramir is working with Mapquest of Middle-earth

[Kath]

Madril: So, you think that if we set fire to these maps so that we never find our way to Osgiliath your father will let you off the hook?

Faramir: Of course!

Madril (muttering): Idiot.

[Alcarillo]

Mardil: The rose petals are set and my men have lit all the candles.

Faramir: Good, now get out before Eowyn gets home!

[Glirdan]

Faramir: See, Grima is here, in Orthanc. We're here, in Ithilien. It will take him a long time before he finds us.
Maldir: Umm, sir?
Faramir: Yes Maldir?
Maldir: YOU'RE IT!!!! GOT YOU!! YOU SUCK!!!
Faramir: I knew one of those Hobbits was it!!

OR

Faramir: I KNEW we should have taken that left turn at Alberquerque (sp?)

[SamwiseGamgee]

Faramir: And here is conclusive proof as to why I am a much better guy than Boromir.

Maldir: Sir, that's a pencil drawing of you kicking Boromir in the butt. What's that signature? 'By Faramir. Age 7.' Sir, this isn't conclusive proof!

Faramir: Well you have horrible teeth and your mum smells! *runs off screaming like a young girl*

Maldir: Oh dear.

[The Only Real Estel]

Faramir & Maldir: "If we build this large wooden badger..."

[Lalwendë]

Faramir: "Yes, Madril, the candlelight might be very romantic but I would be much happier if you had paid this here electricity bill on time."

[davem]

Faramir: 'All right - who's nicked me chips?'

[wilwarin538]

Faramir: Who stole my pen?
Maldir: I think it was Joe.
Faramir:Joe, who's Joe?
Maldir: Joe Mama. hahaha.
Faramir: Oh brother. :rolleyes:
Maldir: I can't believe you fell for that again.

[The Only Real Estel]

Madril: "We must look to our own borders. Orcs are on the move. Sauron is marshalling an army. Easterlings & Southrons are passing through the Black Gate."

Faramir: "Madril kindly stop picking your nose when your talking to me."

[Boromir88]

(for gurthang)

Faramir is working with Mapquest of Middle-earth~Mormegil

I was thinking the same thing only...

Faramir: We're lost. It says we're right here, but we're not.

Madril: Don't you just hate mapquest?

And actually I do hate mapquest, I recently had a bad experience with it.

[Oddwen]

Madril: So you got your report card? Have you shown it to your father yet?

Faramir: NO! I mean, no.

Madril: But you got an "A+" from Mithrandir.

Faramir: Precisely. Help me burn it.

[Glirdan]

Maldir: Of all the places in Middle Earth, you had to pick THIS dark creepy place to hide from Grima!!
Faramir: What!? I liked the waterfall!!!

[Kitanna]

Grima Pic
Grima: Ring goes on...Ring goes off...

Eomer Pic
(from the Ham thing first mentioned by dancing spawn)
Eomer: I brough you your sandwich, but I'm too late!!!

Faramir Pic
David Wenham: This is my script and I am going to be the hero and Aragorn will give the throne to me.

[Lalwendë]

When Gondorians get the TV Guide.

Faramir: "Oh look, there's a really interesting documentary on at 8 tonight about the decline of the tree-frog in the woods of Lothlorien."

Madril: "Sorry, but that clashes with Coronation Street. I have to find out what happens to Gail when she goes to trial for stealing from Ena Sharples."

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Madril: So, me and the boys, well, we had a bit of a whip round and we bought you this "Sorry your father hates you and is sending you to a certain death" Card.

Farmir: They actually sell these?

[Cailín]

Faramir: So, you see, I want a tiny braid like this, and a few nonchalant, dirty curls like over there... *pauses* you think I should go chocolate brown?

Eowyn (from just off the picture): And you tell me to get over my 'Aragorn obsession'!


--- or:


Faramir: NOOO! Look at the plan! The candles were supposed to be on the other side. And you promised to move that one barrel to my friendship corner. This shall disturb my love-feng shui!

[The Saucepan Man]

Faramir: Hmm, I quite like the Pale Mango, but perhaps a more subtle shade like the Apricot White would suit the place better.

Madril: What about the Lime Green, sire?

[Morsul the Dark]

Faramir:Ok....I will attack South mirkwood from east mirkwood

unbeknowst to the rest of the men Maldir and faramir have been stuck in a dashing game of risk for 3 years

[The Only Real Estel]

Faramir: "Okay, lets see what we have so far...

I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface
I don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes

Every step that I take is another mistake to you
And every second I waste is more than I can take...

You think it's any good?"

Madril: "It sounds like an awesome song to me."

[THE Ka]

Madril: So sir, is our attack on the eastern walls ready yet?

Faramir: Eh... I don't know, if we paint the walls purple they will tarnish the glow of the green, and if we carpet the floors in blue, it will hurt our eyes... Unless, we only put half-windows in at every half corner and encrust some tortoises in gems to balance out the basic wall colours, then we have to figure out what type of gems...

Madril: ...Sir, do you remember what we were actually talking about?

Faramir: Not a clue, but I think I might have enough style to start my own interior design show, better than that Oliver guy from Changing Rooms!

~ Aesthete

[CaptainofDespair]

Faramir has been living in his mother's old basement for too long.

Faramir: How could my attack miss?! I'm a level 32 Wizard, and I have 45 points in Concentration! And you aren't even that strong!
Madril: Yes, sir...but my Paladin has the Amulet of Undreth, and it allows him to cast Arcane Magic Failure.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Faramir: "Check it out Madril, gullible's not in the dictionary!" *muffled giggles*

[The Only Real Estel]

Faramir: "Now you take the left sleeve & bring it over to the right side, and you take the right sleeve & wrap it around the shirt and back down...*sigh. I'll never get the hang of folding these darned ranger garments."

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

As far as Faramir was concerned, Osgiliath could wait: The new NME was out today!

[Lalwendë]

Madril: "Sire!"

Faramir: "Hang on..."

Madril: "SIRE! There are 100 Orcs right on the doorstep!"

Faramir: "Yeah, give me a minute...let me finish this Sudoku puzzle."

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Faramir: What have we here?

Madril: A new picture, sir.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v604/hukbillgoomba/196410_1.jpg

Pipin began to worry when Denathor began talking to his wine glass.

OR

Denathor: Come, sing me a song.

Pippin: Err... hmm... err... Happy Birthday to you...

[mormegil]

Pippin thinking to himself: *sigh* Aren't Denethor's gray curly locks so dreamy. I wish I could get my hair to look like that.

Denethor: What do you think me a dotard that I cannot read your thoughts. I grow weary of your obsessing over my hair. If you continue I will send you to retake Osgilliath too.

[Boromir88]

Denethor tries desperately (yet to no avail) to move the Wine glass with his mind.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Denethor tries desperately (yet to no avail) to move the Wine glass with his mind.

At the same time, Pippin tries desperately (yet to no avail) to move the Wine glass with his mind.

[wilwarin538]

Wine glass: Hello Denethor.
Denny: How do you know my name!?! :eek:

[Gil-Galad]

Pippin: the pizza is here m'lord

Denethor: did you tip him?

Pippin: uhh...no

Denethor: Good man!

[mormegil]

Even though Denethor already expressly told Pippin that the mushrooms were for him and not Pippin, Pippin still decided to try his best 'puppy dog' face in hopes that it would produce the desired result.

[The Saucepan Man]

Even the lifelike Hobbit-style pepper mill could not lift Denethor's spirits.

[Kitanna]

Pippin: Please sir, can I have some more?

[Glirdan]

Denethor: Way to go you stupid Hobbit! All thanks to you, Faramir came back and tagged me! ME! His own father! How could he!? As for your puishment, you will go tag that Wizard Gandalf for me.

Pippin: Yes sir. But I have one question.

Denethor: What's that?

Pippin: What if he's uncloaked?

[The Only Real Estel]

Pippin spent his days in loneliness, watching Lord Denethor try to break the record for farthest watermelon seed spat over and over and over again.

[CaptainofDespair]

Pippin is bored.

or

Pippin now regrets entering Denethor's service. The late night DnD sessions in the Tower with Sauron (via PalantirNet) have made the Steward rather...crazy.

Pippin: Milord, I don't think Faramir can handle taking Osgiliath.
Denethor: Why not?! How dare you question the judgement of the Grand Archmage of The White Tower!
Pippin: He isn't a high level Wizard, and nor are his men contingents of devoted Paladins....
Denethor: Outrageous! Fine! But if he doesn't go and level up, we'll never be able to conquer the Morgul Dungeon. Sauron is one mean Dungeon Master...

[Alcarillo]

Pippin has bet the statue a shiny new sword that Denethor will lose the staring contest against the wine jug.

[Oddwen]

After rapidly scarfing half a plate, Denethor paused, looked up and began to giggle.

Or...

As the gentle sound of Pippin singing "Stayin' Alive" fill the hall, Denethor's eyes fill with tears.

Or...

Denethor starts as he sees Galadriel in his wine decanter. (Look look, you can see it!)

Or...

Pippin is not amused as Denethor snorts several kinds of food out his nose.

[Glirdan]

Denethor attempts to beat the Guieness World Record of the most food eatene in one hour.

or

Denethor plans to take Pippin by unawares by counting to ten in his head.

[Kitanna]

Denethor realizes he's eaten a chicken bone...

[Gurthang]

Denethor stares at the strange man that is suddenly sitting on his table.

OR

Pippin: "And so I followed this white rabbit, and he fed me this mushroom, and now even Treebeard's drink won't make me grow!"

OR

Pippin manages to avert his eyes, yet Denethor cannot take his eyes off of the Breakdancing Orcs.

OR

Denethor: "What do you mean Faramir sent me a postcard from Rivendel! I told him to go to Osgiliath!"
Pippin: "He said he followed the directions you gave him perfectly."
Denethor: "Curses! I knew that I was being set up. Ohh! I hate MapQuest!"

OR

Pippin *thinking*: "He should have gotten the Catfish." *shakes head*

[Ainaserkewen]

Denethor: Just so that you are aware Master Hobbit, the pouty puppy-dog-look does not sway me. I've been living with it from my son for decades.

[THE Ka]

Denethor soon discovers that along with wide cultural differences, pippin added alittle too much leaf 'spice' to the tomatoes, in a hope it would liven the old lord up a bit... What he got was a flameful response...


~ Aesthete

[The Saucepan Man]

Pippin: Would sir like a wahfeyr thin mint?

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Denethor: Not now, that wine glass is checking me out.

or

Denethor: No, I don't buy Hobbit Scout cookies! Now git!

or

Denethor: What do you mean you don't accept MallornCard?

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Pippin was so hungry he began to think Denathor looked remarkably sandwich-like.

OR

Pippin: You're going to need stronger knives and forks if you’re going to eat through the table.

[Kath]

Pippin was not very impressed with the belch Denethor had just produced, especially given the amount he had just eaten.

OR

Pippin: It's Gandalf my lord! Turn your eyes away . . . Oh, too late.

[Holbytlass]

Even the lifelike Hobbit-style pepper mill could not lift Denethor's spirits.

Because he was strategizing how to get the matching Hobbit-style salt shaker from Theoden!

[Lalwendë]

Peregrin Took, the original Little Chef.

OR

Peregrin: "Oh he's such a slow eater! If he'd finish a bit more quickly then I could be excused from the tea table sooner and get more playing out time!"

OR

Peregrin watched in awe as Denethor practiced for the 64th Annual Minas Tirith Trencherman Championships.

OR

After a few weeks Denethor began to tire of the cardboard standee of Pippin he had bought from Forbidden Planet. "It's the eyes, they seem to follow me everywhere..."

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Denathor: *nibbles small amount of food* Well, I'm full up. Peregrin, throw this other stuff out would you.

OR

Denathor: Faramir, you are not going to impress me by imitating Gandalf, now put your cloak back on.

[The Only Real Estel]

Seeing Gandalf Uncloaked during meal time was not conducive to keeping your food down.

[dancing spawn of ungoliant]

It was a bitter surprise that the jelly wasn't strawberry, currant or even cherry, but Boroberry...

[The Only Real Estel]

Denethor: "What flavor is this? It's not strawberry...not blueberry...not raspberry....WAIT! It must be lmpberry!!! Bleeek!"

Meanwhile Werewolf Pippin smiles on the inside...

[Bêthberry]

Bethberry decides to refrain from comment at this point in time, as she thinks Paul Newman did such a fine job with the boiled egg scene in Cool Hand Luke that it need not be regurgitated here.

But I bet the boroberry jello was in a ring mold.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Denathor just got a p-m telling him that he was going to be a Werewolf for the 9th game in a row.

OR

Pippin wonders weather to tell Denathor about the goose that was under the table.

[Gurthang]

Denethor: "Strange... I don't remember ordering a hobbit statue."

OR

Pippin: "The Mouth of Sauron requests an audience, my lord."
Denethor: "Inconceivable!"

OR

Denethor realizes he just swallowed the ring he had on his right hand! :eek:

OR

Pippin believes in love at first sight.
(background music: "I can't take my eyes off of you...")

OR

Pippin: ??
Denethor: Well come now, sing me the Mario Theme Song.
Pippin: ?? "But it doesn't have words?!"
Denthor: "I don't care, make some up."
Pippin: ??

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Having dinner with the Mouth of Sauron was never a pretty sight. Denathor had quite lost his appetite.

OR

Having dinner with the Mouth of Sauron's Dentist was enough to break the will of even Denathor.

Dentist: And He never brushes!

Denathor: Hmm. Yes. Very interesting.

Dentist: I keep telling him, ‘Look after them teeth’ but he just talks all Shakespearian to me and I can’t understand a word of it.

Denathor: Thou thinks thou art wise, but nay, thou art a fool. Get ye gone before I set my Hobbit on ye!

[Morsul the Dark]

Denetor:Oh please Peregrin you actually expect me to believe that my son Boromir actually liked Disco? That's crazy talk

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Denetor:Oh please Peregrin you actually expect me to believe that my son Boromir actually liked Disco? That's crazy talk

Pippin: Well, this is Crazy Captions, sir.

[The Only Real Estel]

Pippin's news that over half of the Gondorian army was taking an official leave-of-absence to play in the next Werewolf game was not well received by Denethor.

[Alcarillo]

Even the lifelike Hobbit-style pepper mill could not lift Denethor's spirits. Because he was strategizing how to get the matching Hobbit-style salt shaker from Theoden!

Denethor then realized that Faramir had stolen the hobbit-style centerpiece.

[Lalwendë]

Pippin: "Sire, I think you can stop comfort eating now. The Barrow-Downs are up and running again. You can get your new Crazy Caption on at last."

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Denathor only stopped for a moment when the chef told him that by some accident, Faramir had fallen into the meat grinder.

OR

Denathor has just found out that he is descended from grovelling stone trolls, where as Pippin tries to work out since when has he been going out with a creepy Nazgûl.

[Boromir88]

Denethor is haunted by the next picture...

http://maxa.clems.free.fr/AICNArwenAragorn.jpg


Arwen: Who was that blonde girl you were staring at?
Aragorn: Uhhh...what blonde girl.....honey?

[Kath]

Arwen: Making Frodo look like a mini-Nazgul is not amusing!

[Alcarillo]

Arwen: Good Eru, what happened to Frodo's head?! :eek:

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Aragron: YOU saw Gandalf the grey uncloaked?

OR

Aragorn: What the Angband are you doing here? What happened to Glorfindell?

Arwen: He had to go!

Aragorn: You mean he's dead?

Arwen: Yes! As dead as that squirrel!

Aragorn: Which one?

Arwen: *shoots arrow into tree, there is a squeaking sound* THAT squirrel!

[Kitanna]

Aragorn: What do you mean the rugged look is out?

or

Arwen was elected to be the designated driver of Frodo.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

As Arwen and Aragorn bickered, the Ringwraith casually stole their horse.