Crazy Captions

[The Elf-warrior]

Gandalf: "No! I did not turn the sun red!"

[Kitanna]

Teacher Gandalf to his students: Now how many times must I tell you young whippersnappers not to pick on Frodo and Sam?

[TomBrady12]

Elrond: Now Mithrandir, please be reasonable!

Gandalf: I mean it Elrond, I won't budge on this one. Aragorn, if you don't march your little tooshie into that shower by the time I count to ten the quest is off! 1...2...3.....


TB12

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Elrond: Is this really necessary?

Gandalf: Yes it is! We are not leaving until whoever took my hat owns up to it!

[narfforc]

"Well someone has to take the Ring to Mount Doom" said Gandalf.
" Ok, but dont look at me, my old war wound is playing up" replied Elrond, pointing to his appendix scar.

[Lhunardawen]

Gandalf's lecture #57: On Elrond trying on Arwen's dresses.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Gandalf: Sorry. That was me.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Gandalf: "Now that you lot have finally left the salon....can we get down to business?"

[Hookbill the Goomba]

It's musical chairs. There is one seat left. Gandalf and Elrond look at each other and then at the chair... What happens next?

[Boromir88]

The Inquisition gets down to business....

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Gandalf: Sauron made The Ring, in order to- Elrond! Stand up! What are you sniggering about?

Elrond: Nothing, sir.

Gandalf: Well, it seems to be a highly amusing 'nothing'. Why not share the joke with the rest of the class?

[mormegil]

Gandalf: Well I never! Elrond if I must explain it to you, it's not a purse it's a man bag and it's considered very fashion forward.

[Lalwendë]

Aragorn: "Parp!"

Gandalf: "How dare you! That is disgusting!"

Aragorn: "It wasn't me! It was that Legolas, he's stuck a whoopee cushion on my chair! Honest!"

[Kath]

Legolas: *evil grin*

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

"Sauron is building an army? Inconceivable!"

[Boromir88]

Elrond: Sit down you old woman.

Gandalf: Man.

Elrond: Man, sorry, now sit down.

Gandalf: I'm 37.

Elrond: What?

Gandalf: I'm 37, I'm not old.

Elrond: Well I just can't call you man.

Gandalf: Well you could have said "Gandalf."

Elrond: I didn't know you were called Gandalf.

Gandalf: Well you didn't bother to find out did you?

Elrond: I did say sorry for calling you an "old woman," but from this far a way you sort of looked...

Gandalf: What I object to is you automatically treat me like an inferior.

[THE Ka]

Fidwit: Have you ever seen him before? Really?

Elrond: yes, for the last time I have. He wears grey, usually has a hat on, is in everyone's business except his own, and has a weird beard-cut.

Gandalf ( Jumps up from out of the shadows): I do NOT have a weird beard!

`````````````````````````````````````````Or...


Elrond: I would like to tell everyone that I have just gotten a hamster and its name is Special Patrol Group.

Gandalf: I think Special Patrol Group is a stoooupid name for a hamster!

Elrond: Ok I'll change it then. Hello Cliff Richard!

Gandalf: You are such a wanna-be!


~ Ka...

[Oddwen]

Gandy: What do you mean "It's Clobberin' Time"??

Or...

Gandy(after a singing troupe of elves had done their routine): That sounded rather rehearsed to me.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Gandalf: Elrond, seriously, you need to keep that Estel kid under control. Look what he did to my back!

[mormegil]

Gandalf: Elrond! We are not going to get anything accomplished is you keep singing O! tra-la-la-lally everytime you look at the dwarves.

[Gil-Galad]

I never want to be a wizard, No! I always wanted to be a Lumberjack! jumping from tree to tree as it floats down the mighty rivers of Britsh Columbia! oh i would sing! sing! sing! I'm a lumberjack and i'm okay, i sleep all night and i work all day

Frodo and Sam: He's a lumberjack and he's OK, he sleeps all night and he works all day

Gandalf: I cut down trees, i skip and jump, I like to press wild flowers! I put-

PJ: Stop it stop it! no singing!


theres all the laughter you going to get out of me folks(day keeps on getting worse each time i log on...)

[Lily Bombadil]

G: E-excuse me???? Your'e calling me old??? Well, you're wearing A DRESS!!!!

E: What, b****?!! Oh no, you didn't!!!



(Gil-Galad, do you cut down trees, eat your lunch, and go to the lavatory? Pressing flowers? I thought you were so rugged! *runs away crying*)

[Lhunardawen]

Gandalf: Elrond! What is that...that...atrocious color you're wearing???
Elrond: Oh, this? It's the official color of Mor...dor...oops.

[SamwiseGamgee]

Gandalf goes cobra

Gandalf: You say what, sista? Oh, that is so it! I'm gonna bitch slap you outta this council, Elrond!

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Gandalf will be damned if Eomer of the Rohirrim's gonna feature in his signature...

or

Gandalf grumpily concedes that the Villagers are going to win Werewolf VI, and that he will thus lose a bet with Elrond...

or

Gandalf began to sulk, and muttered something about looking forward to the return of The Barrow-Wight, so that he could administer some severe discipline to those scamps...

or

Gandalf got turned down by Feanor of the Peredhil, again...

or

Gandalf just can't think of a funny caption...

[dancing spawn of ungoliant]

Staring contests were serious business in Middle-Earth - official games required a dozen of eligible supervisors.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Gandalf just got turned down by Eomer of the Rohirrim... again.

[Fordim Hedgethistle]

Gandalf: No! The answer is: "Take the Ring of Power to the Crack of Doom!" That is the fifth question you have got wrong Master Elrond making you the weakest link.

Goodbye!

*Ball of fire from Gandalf's staff consumes the Half-Elven*


or


Gandalf: That's nine votes for the Lord Elrond and eight for Boromir.

Master Elrond, the Council has spoken.

*Puts out the Half-Elven's torch*

Elrond: Good-bye you guys. Stick it to Sauron! Go Fellowship!

Fellowship Members: Good-bye Elrond! We are sorry! We love you!!

Elrond (muttering): Just wait until the Jury....

Gandalf: Next time on, Survivor: Middle-Earth, Boromir and Aragorn argue over leadership, while Frodo isolates himself further, burdened by the Idol of Power. Meanwhile, things heat up between Legolas and Gimli.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Gandalf: Look, I'm not the only one who's been uncloaked recently *glares at Elrond*

OR

Gandalf: No I will not sing Tra la lally!

[The Only Real Estel]

Gandalf: "Look, just because I don't wear some stupid sissy metal circlet thingy doesn't mean I'm a 'virus'!"

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Gandalf: I'm telling you, this will work! We just let the Eagles take the Ring to Mt. Doom!

Elrond: Are you nuts? What about the book Tolkien's writing about me?

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Gandalf: If you lot don't stop bickering, I'm going to stop playing "Who shall I kill first" over in my head, and just go with whatever feels natural. First its me, then it's you, Elrond... wait...

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Gandalf was getting frustrated having to answer all these questions about Coronation Street: He didn't know what would happen with Shelley and Charlie and he certainly didn't know if Roy Cropper was ever going to get an interesting storyline.

[Saurreg]

The hippies convention started with the ever popular who-can-stare-longest-without-blinking competition.

[Kath]

Elrond: Now really Gandalf this has gone far enough. We did one finger, one thumb, one arm, one leg, stand up, sit turn, turn around but we are not going to keep moving. In fact we are not going to move at all until we have got this meeting over and done with so sit down!

[The Only Real Estel]

Gandalf & Elrond interrupted the proceedings of the Village Council's Daily Interrogation when they both hotly accused each other of being werewolves.

[Lalwendë]

Gandalf: "Look, Elrond, I won't tell you again, I'm sick to death of you hinting about what happens in the new Harry Potter book. I've not finished it yet, so please shut up!"

[Holbytlass]

Gandalf: I'm so humiliated! No one told me this was an 'elf-robe' affair!

[Boromir88]

Gandalf: I object to you using this picture in an attempt to blackmail me into joining the Fellowship...
http://tolkienilu.chez.tiscali.fr/film/ttt/theodendecrepid.jpg
Theoden: You put Jelly on my seat!

[mormegil]

Bernard: (under his breath) you know Ian I went for Gandalf as well...you thespian twit! I should be the white not you!

[Firefoot]

Gandalf: Nice Theoden... I'm not going to hurt you...

[dancing spawn of ungoliant]

Theoden: Gandalf's our friend, Gandalf helps us. No! Mean old man's trying to trick us!

Gandalf: Oh, not you, too!

or

Theoden and his famous "expired fig" imitation.

[THE Ka]

Theoden: (in mind) Dirty... FINGERNAILS!

----------------------------------

Gandalf: If you don't behave I'll have to put a cone around you head!


.:~Ka~:.

[narfforc]

Gandalf: Hail Thengel son of Fengel, Lord of The Mark.

Theoden: What! Its me Theoden you old fool.

Gandalf: Oo dear, you look like you have had too many late nights in the meadhouse, and if you`d take my advice, lay off the sunbed sessions pruneface.

[narfforc]

Gandalf: Hail Theoden son of Thengel, Lord of The Mark.

Theoden: Am I glad to see you Gandalf, you haven`t any laxatives by any chance?

[Mithalwen]

Theoden really wished wizards would stop nicking the tealight holders from his garden.....

[Lalwendë]

Bernard: "Put the staff down, Ian and stop playing at being Magneto"

Ian: "Ooh, look who's talking! Who've you come as? Dumbledore?"

[Durelin]

Looking for some quick cash, Gandalf and Theoden in dirty old man with candy (except without the candy) form do a Preparation H commercial.



This Post was brought to you in part by: CaptainofDespair's Human Sexuality prefessor.

[CaptainofDespair]

Looking for some quick cash, Gandalf and Theoden in dirty old man with candy (except without the candy) form do a Preparation H commercial.

You blatantly stole the dirty old man line...and you know it! ;)

Time for my caption...

Theoden: No! No!! Not the men in white coats!

Gandalf: Oh quiet down, you old coot! I'm not here to give you your injection...today...

[Meela]

Council pic:

Gandalf: Eeny meeny Fellowship, which of you will make the trip. If my finger points to you, off to Mordor you go too.

Theoden pic:

Gandalf forgets to return Shadowfax for the ninth time.

[davem]

Middle-earth New's roving sports reporter, Gandalf Greyhame interviews the winner of the Rohan bumfights championship:

'Now, Theoden, would you like to say a few words to your legions of loyal fans?'

'Ah, ge' away wi' ye, or I'll kick yer heeed in.....ye got any Dhrink?'

[The Only Real Estel]

Theoden: "Ugh, Gandalf! You could at least keep your undershirt buttoned while I'm eating!!"

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Théoden hated losing at chess.

[the guy who be short]

Gandalf is so intent on delivering the post, he dares to approach the guard-Theoden of Rohan.

[Kitanna]

Gandalf: Good king...I'm not going to hurt you...good king....
Theoden: Bark! Bark!

OR

Theoden: Gah! Milk always does this to me!

[The Only Real Estel]

Theoden was beginning to realize that having an Agent take over your body is not as sci-fi as he thought it was.

[Lalwendë]

Gandalf: "I've come to take you to Saint Clabbert's..."

Theoden: "Drink! Girls! Ar...."

(you know the rest :p )

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Gandalf: All right, all right! I promise not to be Gandalf the grey uncloaked, just put you're trousers back on! Phew!

OR

Théoden: I do not have a drug problem!

[Oddwen]

Theoden: Stop calling me Cerberus!

Or...

Some Werewolvish transformations are scarier than others.

[The Only Real Estel]

Gandalf soon found out what a werewolf transformation really looked like. :eek:

[Formendacil]

Gandalf forgets to return Shadowfax for the ninth time.
Theoden: "You could have at least returned him with a full tank of gas." :p

[The Elf-warrior]

Theoden: "How dare you tell me that Grima is not to be trusted! That's a conspiracy theory!"

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Théoden: I told you not to let Nilpaurion play in the next Werewolves game!

[Lhunardawen]

Aragorn (in the background): See, Legolas? I told you the staff's not fake.

[Holbytlass]

Theoden: You know the law, Gandalf....move your feet, loose your seat!!

[Lalwendë]

Theoden: "Tonight, Matthew, I'm going to be....Kenny Rogers!"

[Gil-Galad]

Gandalf: Must...Resist...Stupidity Impulse...Hey a Old Man!

[Boromir88]

Theoden: You trounced through my shrubbery! Now you must go find me another shrubbery!

Gandalf: Please, not that, aren't you being a little irrational?

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Gandalf's patented 'bowl of icy water on the seat' party trick always produced hilarious results.

[The Only Real Estel]

Theoden: "Why...should I...welcome you...Gandalf...the Grey? You let me...eat those....five cheese...pizzas last night...without...warning me...of...the possible...consequences!"

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Why....should I....welcome....you, Gandalf....the Grey? You.....stole my hairbrush.....and my moisturiser.....and I clearly need them!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Théoden: Why....should I....welcome....you, Gandalf....storm crow? Can't you see the last diet you sent me on made my jeans rip?

[Kath]

Theoden: How....can I....welcome....you, Gandalf....the Grey?....When....you take....my breath....away!

[Oddwen]

Thé: Ooh...look...at...all...the...ellipses...

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Théoden: I told you not to let Fordim make another poll!

[THE Ka]

I believe it be time for yet another caption. Gandalf and especially theoden are looking rather worn out...


http://www.laurelindorenan.com/Saruman%20Gandalf.jpg

Gandalf: Did you hear? The Gap of Rohan is having a Istari-only blow-out sale of the ages!

Saruman: Really?! If only I could find a baby-sitter for Grima, then our shopping dreams could be complete!!

~ Ha, ha Ka

[mormegil]

Gandalf: (in hushed tones) So Radaghast actually thought he could speak to the animals. What a dotard!

[Lhunardawen]

Theoden pic:
Gandalf comes up with a unique gift for Radagast's birthday.


Gandalf-Saruman pic:
Just when you thought seeing them uncloaked is the worst...

[Boromir88]

Gandalf: See this truly is a wonderful, vast place with great wildlife.

Saruman: Does the highway behind us get a lot of traffic? Because I can't study on conquering the world if it's constant rush hour traffic.

[Encaitare]

Gandalf: Did you see those horrid robes Alatar and Pallando were wearing? Ugh!
Saruman: I know! Blue is so out of season!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Gandalf: Saruman, you're fly is undone.

Saruman: ... ... ... Blast!

OR

Gandalf: do you ever get the feeling we are being watched?

[the guy who be short]

Gandalf spreading gossip to Saruman

Gandalf: And you know what Ioreth said? She agreed! And she did these awful swoony eyes, y'know. Radagast and Ioreth are an item, can you imagine?! I was so shocked, I tell you, but it's absolutely true! And then...

[Kath]

Gandalf: Idiot! How many times have I told you not to let journalists in here? Our photo will be on the front page of every paper! No checkers for you tonight.

[SamwiseGamgee]

Gandalf: So I was, like, whatever, Elrond!
Saruman: No!
Gandalf: Yeah, you should have seen his face! And he was, like, "Come on, Gandalf, be reasonable."
Saruman: Huh, that is so uncool!
Gandalf: I know! So I was, like, come on, you old elf-git, what you gonna do to me!
Saruman:Elf-git! Haha! What did he say?
Gandalf: Well, he was all, like, "Gandalf, if you do not stop this immature behaviour you will not be going with the fellowship."
Saruman: What a little bitch! He thinks he is so important! What'd you say to him?
Gandalf: I said to him, "Well then, don't send me on that stupid fellowship! Like I'd want to hang out with some midgets, an airy-fairy elf and a couple of Rambo wannabes!"
Saruman: No way!
Gandalf: Yeah. So he was all, like, "Gandalf, I forbid you to go on this quest!"
Saruman: So what happened?
Gandalf: I just said to him, "Look at my face. Does it look bothered?"
Saruman: Cool.
Gandalf: I know.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Gandalf: "Let's try it once more. Where are we?"

Saruman: "Um........castle?"

Gandalf: "No, you idiot! It's a garden. A garden!"

[Kitanna]

Gandalf: If you can walk down this path without running off and trying to cut all the trees down, your rehabilitation will be complete.

OR

Gandalf inspects Saruman's ear to make sure no spiders crawled in during the night.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Bee stings were deadly to Wizards, so in dealing with the little blighters they had to use the utmost stealth.

[Durelin]

Gandalf: Do you really think those trees behind us are real? I think CGI Sauron is up to his tricks again...
Saruman: I thought that sort of thing only happened in Fangorn.

[mormegil]

Gandalf: Okay now that we're the shirriff's what do you think our strategy should be?
Saruman: *mutters* make me a shirriff! I'll make them pay! I should be the seer!

[SamwiseGamgee]

Gandalf: Yes, there definitely is a small wesel living in your head. Here, weasel, weasel...
Saruman: Um...ok.

[Mithalwen]

Isengard had been idyllic woodland until the Diarmuid Gavin makeover.....

[Naz]

Gandalf: Oh!

Saruman: What??

Gandalf: ...It looks like a little nativity scene....

:D hehheh

[Meela]

Saruman: Don't look now, but that tree is taking photos of us...

[Gil-Galad]

Gandalf: i think those darn kids again are on our lawn

Saruman: those fiends

[The Only Real Estel]

Gandalf: "Can you believe that cursed Jackson fellow? I swear this scene probably won't even be in the bloody movie!"

Saruman: "I know, I know."

[Durelin]

Gandalf: Sauron watches 'Gillmore Girls', pass it on.
Saruman: *gigglesnort*

[wilwarin538]

Gandalf: I think those girls over there are looking at us.....don't look! :p

[Lalwendë]

Gandalf and Saruman at the 18th hole.

Gandalf: "You fool! I told you to remember to bring a tie! They won't let you in the clubhouse for a whisky now you know!"

[Oddwen]

Gandy: Dude...gimmie some of your 'tots.
Saruman: Get your own, gosh!

[The Only Real Estel]

Confessions of a (former) Teenage Drama Queen, Part 2

[Formendacil]

Gandalf: "Are those fangirls looking at... US?"

Saruman: "You don't see Legolas, Aragorn, Frodo, Sam, Elrond, Eomer, Faramir, Boromir, or any of THEM around here, do you?"

[The Elf-warrior]

Saruman: "Now don't tell anyone but I'm breeding wolves."

Gandalf: "Wolfhounds?"

Saruman: "Wolves. You know, yip, yip, yip, howl!"

Gandalf: (To himself.) "Uh, oh."

[Kath]

Gandalf: Don't look now but those trees are moving. I said don't look!

[Bêthberry]

Gandalf: Shall we catch a look at Luthien?

Saruman: Really? She dances here, not back at the club? Oh, yes, do!

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Gandalf: "We must find a way to counter Sauron."

Saruman: *whispering* "Ok, but we have to talk very quietly."

Gandalf: *whispering* "Fine, I'll talk very quietly."

Saruman: "What?"

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Gandalf (whispers): Melian, let us elope to the Undying Lands.

Saruman: I thought you'd cut down your pipeweed smoking?

[wilwarin538]

Gandalf: Look over there. Its a new pic.

http://consolemedia.gameworldnetwork.com/games/xbox/10129/10.jpg

Treebeard: Come little orcs....lets play leep frog.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

It was bad luck for one Orc when Treebeard had one too many gin and tonics.

OR

Treebeard: Where in Middle Earth am I supposed to be?

[Meela]

Treebeard adds aerobics to the ever-growing list of classes he doesn't really fit into.

[Kath]

Treebeard found that doing yoga in the midst of a battlefield resulted in a surprising amount of enemy casualties.

[narfforc]

Treebeard auditions for the new Martial Arts flick: Crouching Tallguy, Whirling Goblins or House of the Flying Orcses.

[The Only Real Estel]

Treebeard had had enough of those damned motorcycle cops running out into his path to flag him down and give him a ticket.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

The Orcs have just seen Gandalf the grey _______

Fill in the blank!

OR

That's not Treebeard, its Gandalf the grey! But without a cloak! (ha ha! a twist on the story!)

[Kitanna]

Treebeard decided to show those cocky Orcs a thing or two about breakdancing.

[The Only Real Estel]

Courtside at the Orcen Warriors vs. Slayers basketball game:

Having had enough of Little Annoying Johnny's lip, Referee Treebeard proved that 'kicked out of the game' is not always just a figurative term.

[Gurthang]

The orc's futuristic plasma gun(top left) did little good when fighting Treebeard, who simply punched the orc and hurled the gun out of the fray.

OR

Treebeard auditioned for the 'Boromir the Disco King Presents: Middle-Earth Hip-Hop' dance video (just $37.95), but it turns out he had two left feet.

OR

Treebeard has always wanted a cute pet orc, but they are just too slippery to catch!

[Nimrodel_9]

One of the most exciting things (to the orc children) about Treebeard, is that he can spin you around by your legs.

[The Only Real Estel]

Treebeard & Co. slowly swayed to the music of the giant pipe organ in the distance.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Having been bitten by a radioactive frog, Treebeard found himself gaining amphibian traits. Now, he saves Middle-earth as the Amazing . . . FroggieEnt!

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

In a remarkable show of intelligence, the Orcs glue Treebeard's feet to the floor.

[Lhunardawen]

Rimbaud was turned into an Ent.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

I was illustrating for Tim Burton's new story: 'The Ent with springs in his feet.'

[Hookbill the Goomba]

The Orcs would never ask for directions again.

OR

Treebeard saw a coin!

[Lhunardawen]

Treebeard: Mrs. Fangorn? Is that you?

[Gil-Galad]

Orc: Sir we can't charge that Ent!

Higher Orc: Whats the matter Colonel Sandurz? Chicken?

[Ainaserkewen]

Audiences politely applaud as the latest representation of the War by Samwise Gamgee is hung in museum. No one seemed to notice Frodo close in on the artist and kindly but firmly tell Sam not to quit his day job.

[SamwiseGamgee]

Treebeard: What's this, then? Why, it's a new photo!

http://www.sacticket.com/static/movies/news/images/250x196_rings.jpg

Sam: Is that Gandalf up there? Where's his cloak...
Frodo: I think we should leave now... and never discuss this again.

OR

Sam: I'm telling you, Mr Frodo, there were 12 weasels up there, all singing and dancing to the rhythm!
Frodo: How long did you say it'd been since you last slept, Sam?

[Gurthang]

Frodo is fainting... again. :rolleyes:

OR

So did Sam drink a growth tonic or did Frodo take a shrinking pill? :( I can't tell.

OR

Sam: "Is that a Balrog? Are those... WINGS?"
Frodo: "I choose not to get involved in this argument."

[Nimrodel_9]

Sam: Pippin! Good gracious! How did he get up there?!

or

Sam: Frodo! Don't move! I think the camera is tilting again!
Frodo: I swear, if I fall against the side of the screen one more time...! :rolleyes:

Nim :p

[Fordim Hedgethistle]

Theoden piccy (http://forum.barrowdowns.com/showpost.php?p=400635&postcount=6046)

Gandalf: Push!

Theoden: I am pushing!

Gandalf: Push harder! Push! PUSH!!

Theoden: EEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGOOOOooooooooooooooh….. *pant* … *pant* …

Gandalf: It is over. The Metamucil of Lorien has done its work, and all that was ill and foul in the King has passed…

Eowyn: (under her breath) There is no way I’m cleaning that up.

[Boromir88]

Frodo and Sam just got done with the "how many times can you spin around without throwing up" contest.

[The Only Real Estel]

Frodo: "...but not before he'd gone mad with the heat."

Sam: "Ah, so that's the reason for all the (insert Captian Jack Sparrow impersonation here)"

[Lhunardawen]

Frodo and Sam stare in befuddlement as they see Gollum turn into a...a...

Gollum: Stallion, baby! :cool:

[THE Ka]

Sam: We must go Mr. Frodo! To save... THE PLOT CONTINUUM!

Frodo: Sam, this is a movie, you're being paid to act on what the director wants you to act, and besides, your name is not Sam, it's Sean and your character is supposed to be worshipping the ground I walk on...

Sam: *Grabs stone for stability. NOOOoooooooooo!


Yep, that was horrible. I'm sorry, it just wasn't speaking to me humour wise...

~ Creative withdrawl Ka

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Just as Frodo and Sam were about to climb the stairs of Cirath Ungol, This topic started:

Fortunately, the stairs turned into a slide.

Unfortunately, they were heading upwards.

Fortunately, a Balrog came to help them!

Sam: Why is this happening to us, Mr. Frodo?

[Lalwendë]

Sam: "Gerroverereyerruddyidiotamgonnaruddywellknockyerhe edoffyergreatbloominclown!"

Frodo: "Steady Sam! He didn't actually knock your pint over, I did..."

[narfforc]

Sam: Wait Mr Frodo, I will go first, It could be dangerous. You could be mangled, smashed to a pulp, ripped to pieces or even killed, dead!

Frodo: Ok Sam, if you insist, but be a good chap and leave the food pack behind.




ELVENSILLY LOONYMEN OHMYGOSHELLO.

[dancing spawn of ungoliant]

There was an unpleasant surprise at the doors of Sammath Naur: "Under construction. Please, check back later."

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Sam: "Say, Mr Frodo, over there; it looks like a......a cloud with legs."

Frodo: "That's a sheep."

[Holbytlass]

Theoden piccy (http://forum.barrowdowns.com/showpost.php?p=400635&postcount=6046)
Gandalf: Push!
Theoden: I am pushing!
Gandalf: Push harder! Push! PUSH!!
Theoden: EEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGOOOOooooooooooooooh….. *pant* … *pant* …
Gandalf: It is over. The Metamucil of Lorien has done its work, and all that was ill and foul in the King has passed…
Eowyn: (under her breath) There is no way I’m cleaning that up.

Treebeard : Gandalf, you are too hasty. Slow and steady will relieve a person of "orc".

Sam: That's is so wrong.
Frodo: More fiber, more fiber.

[Bêthberry]

Sam: "It's a bird, it's a plane!"
Frodo: "Does it have a big red "E" on it?"
Sam: "Blimey if I know, but it's not landing here to pick us up."


OR:

Frodo: "I didn't expect Air-Gwahir."
Sam: "No one expects Air-Gwahir."

[Kath]

As Frodo and Sam keel over backwards Gollum appears behind them with a hypodermic needle in each hand.

Gollum: The precious is mine!

[Lalwendë]

Frodo stood by, the very picture of jealousy while Samwise danced the night away with Galadriel, his face betraying the lurve he felt...

[Gil-Galad]

Sam: Its...Mega-maid!

*drums: dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun*

[mormegil]

Sam: Um Mr. Frodo, Gollum is mooning us again!

[The Only Real Estel]

Frodo knew Sam had found his secret ale stash when he started muttering about "pink oliphaunts".

[CaptainofDespair]

Sam: Master Frodo, look! It's the very rare, and very dangerous subspecie of Dark Lord!

Frodo: The Very Lame and Not as Good as His Master?

Sam: Precisely! Where's the camera?

*awkward silence*

Frodo: I thought you had it...

[Kitanna]

The Hobbits stare in horror as they watch a group of Orcs perform Cats.

[The Only Real Estel]

Frodo looks on as Sam stands at the walk-through window...

Sam: "Now look! For the last time, I wanted the tomatoes and ketchup held, I want the pickels put back on, & I wanted a coke with minimum ice, not a small Kiddie Cram Meal!"

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Inspired by Estel:

Frodo and Sam were surprised beyond call when doing an "After they were famous" program they discovered that Gollum had started a chain of restaurants called "Taters".

[wilwarin538]

Sam: Is that Saruman uncloaked! :eek: :eek: :eek:

[mormegil]

Sean: "Wait, so what you're saying Peter is that this rock is suppose to feel soft?"
Peter: "Right!"
Sean: "But how did you find a rock that's so soft?"
Elijah: "Oh for crying out loud you moron it's a prop not a real rock"

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Sam: For all rights we shouldn't even be here. The only reason we are is because Eru willed it so.

Frodo: A theological conspiracy, huh?

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Frodo: "Stop checking out my sister!"

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Sam: What is that? It's disgusting!

Frodo: It’s only a new picture!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v604/hukbillgoomba/rings_arwen.jpg

Eowyn: Look, I didn't mean it that way!

OR

Fell Beast: I've often thought of going into modelling, what do you think?

[Holbytlass]

You can pick your friends
You can pick your nose BUT
You can't pick your friends' nose (with a sword).

[dancing spawn of ungoliant]

It wasn't always so wonderful to be a dentist in Middle-earth.

[The Only Real Estel]

Eowyn tries her hand at the Who's Line Is It Anyway? green screen game.

edit:

Aragorn, Legolas, & Gimli: "Can you describe the scene out there to us Eowyn?"

Eowyn: "Well...uh, I'm not 100% clear on what it is just yet...but it certainly does seem to be something romantic, doesn't it?"

Aragorn, Legolas, & Gimli : *insane laughter*

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

"Excuse me ma'am, but could you give me directions to Mordor?"

[Gil-Galad]

I sure hope got Capital One before she left Rohan...

[mormegil]

Eowyn: Wow, that was really scary and if you don't mind me saying, if that don't work, your breath will certainly get the job done, 'cause you definitely need some Tic Tacs or something 'cause your breath STINKS!

[Gurthang]

Destpite the Fell Beast breathing in her face, Eowyn couldn't help but look past it at Aragorn in his fighting glory.

OR

Eowyn(with eyes closed): "There are no monsters under the bed. There are no monsters under the bed. There are no..."

OR

Fell Beast: "Yes, I would like a leg of cow, please."
Butcher Eowyn: "Sorry, we're fresh out of cow leg."
Fell Beast: "What?! Oh, Blast! Well, how 'bout a lamb."
Butcher Eowyn: "What part of a lamb."
Fell Beast: "What part! I don't want a part, I want the whole thing. I've got a big mouth to feed."
Butcher Eowyn(under her breath): "You're tellin' me!"

[CaptainofDespair]

Fell Beast: *sings* I want human! I want horsey! Rarrr Mix, Rarr Mix please deliver!

Eowyn: Never! I'm putting you on a diet!

[The Only Real Estel]

Fell Beast: "Oooh, a giant icecicle with a fake handle on it! I'm sooo frightened!"

[Kitanna]

Fell Beast: I will let you pass, if you can answer me these questions three...

[Bêthberry]

Eowyn: "Strange, I don't recall seeing Jurassic Park on Karen Wynn Fonstad's map of Middle-earth."

Fell Beast: "I didn't evolve. I was created."

Eowyn: "Of course, Jackson Park. How could I overlook it?"

(fondly remembering Fonstad's wonderful contributions)

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Fell Beast: "Um, I was wondering....if you'd like to, um, go get a coffee or something?"

[SamwiseGamgee]

Fell Beast: I'm telling you, the one I caught was... THIS... big!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Eowyn: So this is Gandalf the grey uncloaked? :eek:

OR

W-K: Oh get a room you two!

[Formendacil]

The Warg and Warg Rider Appreciation Society goes on the offensive when Petere Jackson unveils his new and improved Warg.

"It's even better than the lemming version!" says Jackson.

Spokesman for the WWRAS, Eomer of the Rohirrim, declined to comment save for a nasty snarl in the direction of the "Warg".

[wilwarin538]

Eowyn: Mommy, look what followed me home. Can I keep it??? PLEEEEEAAAASSSSEE!!!!!! :D :D :D

[The Only Real Estel]

The Fell Beast won the Third Annual Belching Contest hands down.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

...click on 'replies' next to the Captions thread. It shows how many posts you have made in the thread.

I'm second in the list ( :eek: ) behind *drumroll* ......Hookbill!


A Caption

They're so cute when you buy them, but they grow up fast.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

:eek: Wow! 280 (281 now) captions! :D Something to be proud of, especially as I've only been posting since about page 100. Still...

Caption:

*Aragorn walks in*

Eowyn: This isn't what it looks like!

[Kath]

Fell Beast: Bet you can't lift your arm this high!

[mormegil]

Eowyn realizes too late that her plan to distract the fell beast will fail when instead of a tender juicy bone she pulls out her sword.

[Ainaserkewen]

Fell Beast: Hurry up my dear with that new picture or I shall eat you.

Eowyn: Right...

http://thecia.com.au/reviews/l/images/lord-of-the-rings-1-3.jpg

Upon finding his cloak on the ground...

Everyone: Where is he!? Hide your eyes!

[Kath]

Hobbits: Too . . . many . . . cameras! Which one do we look at!

[Durelin]

Frodo: Sam, are you touching me? Wait, Merry?
Merry: Nope, wasn't me, no way.
Sam: Ye-I mean, no, Mr. Frodo.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Merry: Four silver pennies for a mug of ale! That's outrageous!

Frodo: *sees Ring wraith* I think we have bigger problems!

[SamwiseGamgee]

Sam: Mr Frodo, did you just let one slip?

OR

Frodo: Sam, that had better not be your hand on my bottom!

OR

Pippin was really beginning to wish he hadn't supersized his double cheeseburger at the Prancing Pony last night.

[Kitanna]

Pippin is shocked by how his own appearance in the mirror. Merry doesn't notice because he is too busy trying to look sexy. Frodo spots a spider and begins to whimper. While Sam is trying to be like Merry.

[mormegil]

As there aren't proper facilities in the wild the Hobbits did their best to shield Pippin while he was relieving himself, each hobbit had their own looks of horror or embarassment.

Sorry it's a bit off color :o

Also could somebody reference me to the first Gandalf the Grey uncloaked joke. I seem to have missed that one...probably before my time.

[Gurthang]

Sam has spotted a bee on Frodo's neck.

OR

(in annoucer voice)
It's the newest pop music sensation! The Bagstreet Hobbits! *cheering*

With lead singer and guitarist Merry. *wild applause*

Back-up vocalist Pippin. *hoorays and shouts of 'We love you, Fool'*

Samwise the Rapper and Breakdancer! *thunderous applause*

And Frodo Baggins on the Drums(notice his signature sword-like drumsticks)! *loudest applause yet*

Merry: "Oh, sure, everybody loves the drummer." *disgusted sigh* :mad: :D

[CaptainofDespair]

Witch-King: Have any of you seen a Ring of Power? *makes hand gestures* It's about this big, gold, very tacky, and has a will of its own...

Merry: I didn't see nothin'! Did any of you boys?

Pippin: I ain't seen nothin'!

Sam: No sirs, I ain't seen no Ring!

Frodo: Uhh...uhhh...*fondles Ring*

Sam: He ain't seen nothin'!

[Formendacil]

Frodo: "The Gap of Rohan is closed! Now where are we going to buy some clean clothes for Aragorn's wedding?"

[Hookbill the Goomba]

When Farmer maggot demanded his Bread knife back Frodo was a little reluctant.

OR

Merry: *sniff, sniff* Pippin, did you just step in some-

Pippin: Shh! Not it's business!

[Kitanna]

Finding the enemy in the House of Mirrors was always so difficult.

[Nimrodel_9]

Frodo, unlike the other hobbits, was oblivious to the fact that Gandalf the Grey was uncloaked.

[Mithalwen]

Neither Sam nor Pippin showed any aptitude for ventriloquism - but Frodo and Merry made excellent dummies..... :rolleyes:

[Durelin]

Frodo: Ahh, thanks for scratching that itch, Sam.
Sam: No problem, Mr. Frodo.
Merry: Pip, you wouldn't want to do me, would ya?

[THE Ka]

Due to budget cuts, we could only show you four out of the six degrees of Frodo...


~ Ka

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Those January Sales can get a little rowdy.

[The Only Real Estel]

None of the four hobbits were exactly pictures of innocence when they were questioned about the shop full of shattered ceramics...and the four mallets found on the premises.

[Boromir88]

Eowyn/Fellbeast pic:

Fellbeast: Get in my belly!

Hobbit Pic: Since they all have different expressions....

While Pippin got his brains sucked out....

Frodo sees Gandalf the Grey uncloaked
Merry: Charlie! Stop talking to me!
Sam: I can't believe they gave rolling eyes the ring

[The Only Real Estel]

Eowyn/Fell Beast Pic
J. Jonah Jameson (newspaper editor in Spiderman) while holding the picture: "Fell Beast. How do you like that? I made it myself. Winged terror, fell beast, winged steed, these weirdos all have to have a name now."

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

It's hard to have a staring contest against someone who's inside a Fell Beast's mouth.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Sam (to Frodo): I told you, we shouldn't have touched his hair.

[The Only Real Estel]

Sam: "Look it's those that we do not speak of! Good thing none of us are wearing the bad color! :rolleyes:"

(Notice the only one who's remotely frightened is wimpy movie-version Frodo)

[Lhunardawen]

Fell beast: Hey you! You're blocking the camera!

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Sam almost fell for the lifelike wax statues of Frodo, Merry, and Pippin.

Fortunately, he noticed that Merry's carrot wasn't broken.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Pippin: I think I'm going to be sick!
Frodo: I know, it’s horrible!
Sam: I can't stand the sight of it!
Merry: What? It's only a new picture!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v604/hukbillgoomba/john_rhys_davies16.jpg

Gimli: Well I disagree; I think everyone will want to buy my sofa designs!

[Lhunardawen]

Legolas and Gimli engage in dead-Orc wrestling.

[Lhunardawen]

Legolas realizes that weak eyes are a sign of age: he missed an Orc.

[dancing spawn of ungoliant]

Gimli found a perfect spot for having a picnic.

[Holbytlass]

Gimli: "Row, row, row your boat..."
Legolas: You're pathetic!
G: Nonsense, I'm just hungry, look! plenty of dark meat around!
L: ew!

The first inconceivable (http://forum.barrowdowns.com/showpost.php?p=157414&postcount=107) joke.

[Kath]

Legolas: Time to go!

Gimli: I can't, my axe is stuck.

[The Saucepan Man]

Gimli had to admit that his brain surgery clinic was not turning out to be a great success.

[CaptainofDespair]

Legolas: Come on, Gimli!
Gimli: No!
Legolas: Please?!
Gimli: I've been tosed enough today...
Legolas: You let Aragorn toss you...
Gimli: Oh...alright...but only once...

[The Saucepan Man]

Gimli: And so you see, if I tilt my axe thus, his left leg will raise ...

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

The Orc was beginning to regret that last 'short joke'.

[Gil-Galad]

Gimli tried his best 'Conan O'Brien' impression by pulling the lever

[The Only Real Estel]

Gimli: "Look, I don't see why you're so bent out of shape about this, Legolas. Last time he tried to sell me siding & this time he tried to sell me windows. What do you expect!?"

[Kitanna]

Legolas: ?
Gimli: He owed me money.

[Formendacil]

Gimli: "Forty-one orks killed, and you STILL have arrows in your quiver? I am beginning to think, Master Elf, that you have not been entirely truthful with me."

[Durelin]

Gimli: Hurry up and take the picture, you bloody elf, me leg's falling asleep!

[THE Ka]

Gimli: Like my Orc-Skin sofa? It's new...

Legolas: OOh! Can we paint it pink?

---------------------------------
Or...

Gimli: Welcome to Gimli's Orc-sofa Store! Where we custom only in the finest Orc-skin Sofas, Loveseats, Recliners, foot-rests and MORE!

Legolas: Yes, I have this coupon for a 90% discount on anything pink...

Gimli: Yeah... We're trying to get rid of those... Ruins the majority of the customer-base...


~ Ka

[Bêthberry]

Legolas finds his action figure toy dwarf in the bottom of a box of cracker-Orcs.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Legolas was never keen on introducing Gimli to his other friends.

[wilwarin538]

Gimli: What kind of a stupid orc would put supper glue all over his own back!?! :p

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Ka, you stole my idea! :eek: !
:D Its nice to be appreciated.

Anyway;

Gimli: Sorry Legolas, I did not realise it was your mother.

[The Only Real Estel]

Gimli wasn't going to let another Uruk finish a "your momma's so short" joke.

[Fordim Hedgethistle]

Legolas: Gimli has stuck his axe into that orc's head and is now sitting upon the beast.

[the guy who be short]

Gimli cannot help but wonder what Legolas tastes like.

[SamwiseGamgee]

Some felt Gimli had overreacted to the sight of Gandalf the Grey uncloaked.

[the guy who be short]

Gimli doesn't appreciate Legolas' criticism of his new Pickaxe Headware.

[The Only Real Estel]

A Conneticut Drummer in King Theoden's Court

After somehow being transported back to Middle Earth, popular drummer Gim LeGam decided to show off a little 'magic'...

Gim: "Now watch carefully everyone...when I give the word (rattles axe)...this clearly dead Uruk shakes & shudders!"

*Audience give wild applause*

Gim (under his breath): "Hehe, good thing they haven't heard of a nervous system yet!"

[Lalwendë]

Gimli: "I am not moving an inch until someone owns up to plaiting my beard while I was drunk!"

[Boromir88]

Look Mr. Prancy Elf like I told all these other raving fans, David Beckham is not taking any photos, with ANYONE.

[Nimrodel_9]

Legolas: My dear dwarf! Whatever are you doing to that poor man?!
Gimli: He called me short!

or

Gimli: Help! My right hand appears to be missing! :eek:

or

Legolas: Gimli! I... I thought what we had was special!
(Sorry about that. It wasn't in my nature.)
:pNim:p

[Oddwen]

The "'Obbits! Four 'Obbits!" pic:

Merry, Frodo and Sam admire the "art gallery" while Pippin repeatedly gets kicked in the *ahem*.

Current pic...

Gimli stares with interest at the Killer Bees that Legolas used to feather his arrows.

Or...

Gimli: Are those my aquarium fish?!?

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Legolas: Why, Gimli, why?

Gimli: He called me female (http://forum.barrowdowns.com/showpost.php?p=353224&postcount=30). Must have gotten it from that guy in the Downs.

[Lhunardawen]

Gimli: Lease him, or I'll cut his throat.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Legolas: Ah, so this is why no one asks directions from a Dwarf.

OR

Gimli: Well, that's my hair dressing business over.

Legolas: Thank goodness! *Protects hair*

[Gil-Galad]

Gimli: what took you so long?

Legolas: sorry, i had to oggle at my relflection

[The Only Real Estel]

Gimli: "I'm sure I'll be getting a werewolf any moment now!"

Legolas: "Maybe we should build a gallows?"

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Gimli: "I'm sure I'll be getting a werewolf any moment now!"

Legolas: "Maybe we should build a gallows?"

Gimli: No, I think my method works better!

[dancing spawn of ungoliant]

Legolas: Way to go, Gimli! You just killed our Seer.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

A machine gun: $1 500
Super glue: $2
Not letting any pointy-ear outscore you: Priceless.

[WaynetheGoblin]

Legalos: Gimly hurry up Gimly: I cant this orcs brain likes my axe.

[Oddwen]

Gimli: What do you mean we killed the guardian again?

[solarisa]

hmph, great i can't even see the pic. image isn't showing up. i suppose whatever pic is there must be extremely fuuuunny.... :o

[Durelin]

Now this is what I call priceless (as long as it hasn't been used before, that is):

http://www.dtwins.plus.com/hornofgondor/images_display/boromir/boromir22_b.jpg

[Gurthang]

Boromir is so drunk he doesn't even realize that he's not holding a bottle! :D

[Gil-Galad]

Boromir: we need like a wizard...or a ninja... ooooooh! a Ninja Wizard!

Gandalf: i'm a wizard

Boromir: yeah but your not a ninja wizard... ooh and bears that shoot laser beams out of their eyes!

[Durelin]

Aragorn from several feet away: Boromir, this is not how you play paper football.

Gil - I know for a fact that you stole that. :p

[mormegil]

Boromir: I came to Rivendell because I was told that this is the lost-and-found of Middle-earth. What I lost, see, was a gold ring. It looked like this *holds up hand*. Yes it was circular in nature and made of gold. I was hoping to leave soon so if I could get that and I'll be on my way.

[Gil-Galad]

Boromir: nuh uh! you need like a catapult

(probaly, but you still love me i know it)

[Formendacil]

Boromir: "And just how many barrels of Butterbur Beer has Gondor received in aid? Zero! That's right! Zero!"

[Boromir88]

Boromir: One does not simply walk into Mordor. There is evil there that does not sleep, and the great eye is ever watchful. But, all we need is a really long needle and a strategically placed poke directly to the pupil will cause him to lose sight, letting us simply walk in.

Gil-galad, yes that does sound rather familiar....hmmm. :p