Crazy Captions

[mormegil]

Not realizing the coincidence of his chant the Witch-King yells this rallying cry to his troops when the Rohirrim arrive

"Ride now! Ride now! Ride! Ride for ruin and the world's ending! Death! Death! Death!"

Or

"I am not Khamul I am Skeletor returned for vengence. Now where is He-man?"

[Kitanna]

The rejected ideas for Jack from The Nightmare Before Christmas.

[Formendacil]

What most people do not realise is that the real Nazgul here is the steed, and not the rider.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Everyone loved the story of when Gollum stole a flying horse!

[CaptainofDespair]

He hated his life. Always forgotten, always scoffed at. Well, now was his time to show the world his true power! Minor Skin Irritation, the Fifth Horseman of the Apocalypse, rides again!

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Queen Beruthiel by Tolkien.

[Alcarillo]

Behold! Galadriel without her make-up.

[Gil-Galad]

...finds out that The Adventures of Gil-Galad and Johnny the Stinky Balrog have been canceled for painteing with Glirdan and goes crazy, sending the world into seven years of darkness till my show goes back on the air

[Gurthang]

A Ringwraith decides to steal Pegasus from Hercules.

OR

Faramir: "NAZGUL!"
Men of Gondor: "That's a Nazgul?" *burst out laughing*

OR

This wraith is somewhat angry. He misplaced his favorite black wig. Now he has to wear his white one, which makes him look really old. But what he doesn't realize, is that his horse is using that black toupee for a goatee!

OR

PJ decides to go really low budget in the special effects department.

[luthien-elvenprincess]

Children, this is what happens when a Smurf mates with a nazgul and steals a steed from My Pretty Pony!

[The Only Real Estel]

Gandalf the Grey: Uncloaked, unskinned, an unnerving! :eek:

[Hookbill the Goomba]

It looks like someone just had a riveting game of "I win your skin!" :D

OR

If you looked really closely, this is what the midges on midge water looked like. :eek:

[HerenIstarion]

People who dare write bad poetry are doomed to be reduced to ghostness - they dare to mount Pegasus, known also as Great Beastly Connoisseur, also Grisly Baleful Critic (abbreviated in both cases GBC) but as this winged beast does not let them off untill they turn into dust, their end is pitiful. See figure 14B, depicting unfortunate doggerel writer halfway through the process

From the monograph Poets and the Zoo by Albrecht Rocksword, illustrated edition, copyright Albrecht Rocksword and CellistTonic Publishers, 1995, ISBN 0060815221. Product Dimensions: 9.3 x 6.1 x 1.2 inches, Shipping Weight: 1.4 pounds, buy now for 99.99$ and save on shipping!

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

This is why Nienna rarely goes out . . .

This is also why she's single.

[Gothmog]

...and so happened that Galadriel was trapped in her desire for the One and, like the nine mortal kings before her, became forever linked to the very same. Because of her elven Ring of Power she became the 10th, the most horrid to look upon and the mightiest Nazgûl. Doomed to a life of eternal pain and suffering, riding her faithful steed Celeborn...

Yes, he WAS a shapechanger. A were-horse. Didn't you know???

[The Only Real Estel]

For those of you who follow the Kentucky Derby or any other horse racing (or the yankees :p)...

It comes down to this, Afleet Axe-Murderer, Giacomma, Screeching T, and Barad-duhr Road flying down the track towards the finish, Afleet pulls ahead &...yes! It's Afleet Axe-Murderer winning by a nose!! The Boss (Sauron) will be ticked about this one!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Before the debate on Balrog wings came about, everyone argued over weather Nazgûl had skulls. This guy helped them, settle it.

[The Elf-warrior]

Witch King: "Don't you know death when you see it?"

Gandalf: "Were's your sickle?"

Witch King: "I lent it to Lenin."

[Gurthang]

Pirates of the Caribbean/Hercules:
As Pegasus flew through the air, the moon came from behind a cloud, revealing Hercules as a horrid, decaying skeleton. The curse of the Aztec Gold had consumed him!

101 Dalmations/Sleepy Hollow
Creulla De Ville never did have good luck finding a date. Especially when she rode around throwing pumpkins and chopping off heads.

The Emporer's New Groove/Cinderella
Isma cackles in triumph; for her fairy godmother has changed Kronk into a flying horse so she can catch Cuzco. Godmother: "Just remember, the spell ends at Midnight!"

Star Wars/The Matrix
By plugging into the Matrix, this Ewok quickly learned how to fly a horse. Unfortunately, it's not faster than those speederbikes, so he gets fried pretty quick.

Mulan/Hidalgo
Mulan's ancestor was one mean rider. Here we see her riding Hidalgo on through the night across the Ocean of Fire.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Gandalf: Saruman, uncloaked? If that’s what I've been doing all these years, I may have to stop! It’s disgusting!

Everyone: Yay! :D

[Gurthang]

This wraith was somewhat angry for not getting a part in the Lord of the Rings, so he decided to make his own action-thriller: Kill PJ.

AND

His horse is angry because he wanted the part of Brago(sp) and didn't make the cut.

OR

This ghost is shocked that I posted such pathetic captions just so I could be #7777.

[Lhunardawen]

The King of the Dead thought that having tomatoes for eyes would make him look cool.

[mormegil]

http://www.theargonath.cc/characters/bilbo/pictures/bfotrbilbos10.jpg

Bilbo: Gandalf, I'm exhausted and really don't believe I could handle one more uncloaking.

Or

Bilbo: My dear Aragorn you really must take a bath.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Bilbo often had flashbacks to the time he found the toilets at the Eagle’s eerie.

OR

Bilbo often had flashbacks to the time he found Smaug's toilets at the Lonely Mountain.

[Gurthang]

Bilbo denies that he needs wrinkle cream.

OR

Bilbo can't take his eyes off of the breakdancing orcs.

OR

Eowyn: "Oh, Bilbo! Come try my stew!"
Bilbo: " :( "

OR

PJ: "I said make a sad face."
Bilbo: "I am!"
PJ: "That's not sad! That's like 'Oh, Onions! tear'! You can do better than that!"

[Gothmog]

Bilbo: What is that hideous creature? What, a mirror?

OR

Bilbo: Sorry Frodo my lad. This just don't taste like my tea...

OR

Bilbo: Legolas... why are you wearing girl-clothes?

[Kitanna]

Bilbo: Please, Elrond, take off that purple dress.

[Lalwendë]

Bilbo joins the Silver Surfers: "I know you said it's not that kind of a mouse but I still don't want to touch it!"


OR


Bilbo opened the door with trepidation for even in old age he could not forget what traumatic consequences could result from seeing who was knocking.

[mormegil]

Bilbo is devestated when Figwit and Arwen, the hosts of "What Not To Wear in Middle-earth", tell him that his clothing is not hip and modern.

Bilbo: I cannot possible be seen in that, what is wrong with my old travel-stained cloak? It's comfortable!

[Anguirel]

When the Nazgul arrive at Bag End, Bilbo puts on his broken old Hobbit act and prepares his deadly nipple cripple...

[Kath]

Bilbo: Pippin, please, I really don't want to pull your finger.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Bilbo: Dwarvish singing is a thing to miss!

OR

When the only chocolates left are those odd ones that nobody likes, Bilbo knows that he is the one who will have to eat it out of politeness.

OR yet!

Bilbo is asked to clean the Mouth of Sauron's teeth! :eek:

[luthien-elvenprincess]

Bilbo to the elf in the spotted smock, "Shesh...just cuz no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist!"

[Lalwendë]

Reporter: "Mr Baggins, what do you have to say to reports that some think your story does not belong in the Legendarium."

Bilbo: "No tra-la-la comment."

[The Only Real Estel]

Bilbo could feel the breath on his neck of the petty dwarf stalkers...

[Nimrodel_9]

Squee! This is one of my favorite threads! It has been a while since I have posted, so please excuse my lame attempt.

Bilbo: No! No! Do not tempt me! I must not eat this muffin!

or

Don't ya hate it when you bite your tongue?

or

Bilbo: Would you look at that?! I only have three fingers!

or

Bilbo: Gravy, but Elrond has some nasty eyebrows!

(The odd thing is that all of these thoughts occurred to him at the same time!)

Nim :D

[Glirdan]

Going off of Hookbill's

Bilbo is asked to clean the Mouth of Sauron's teeth!

Bilbo is The Mouth of Sauron's Dentist!!!! :eek:

[The Only Real Estel]

Bilbo helplessly watches in horror as his Boston Red Sox are swept in the first round of the playoffs.

[mormegil]

Bilbo: No No my dear SpM and Mormegil you dotards cannot figure out who a wolf is and I cannot tell you I am sorry.

To understand this know that SpM and I had concrete theories at the end of the game but we were dead wrong about all of them :rolleyes:

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Bilbo: No, I don't really want free tickets to Mordor-land.

[HerenIstarion]

Ian Holm: Do you really have to remind me I'm too old to play Bilbo in the screening of the Hobbit?

[Lhunardawen]

This is Bilbo, upon seeing that he was voted off LotR Survivor.

[Mithalwen]

Time for your enema, Mr Baggins...

[The Only Real Estel]

Bilbo watches the proceedings of the first Werewolf Junior game...

Bilbo: "Oh no, TORE you stupid, forgetful idiot. Really, if you're hinting that you're not the Ranger than it's pretty damned obvious that Fea's not the seer. Now you've really screwed things up..."

[Bêthberry]

Bilbo: "No, no, please, not another! Not another rendition of an elven song. I'm still woozy from the last one."

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Bilbo: "Get away from me! It's hideous!"

Frodo: "It's only me, uncle..."

or

Bilbo nervously backtracks as the Slug of Doom invites itself in for dinner.

or

Bilbo recoils in disgust as Gandalf and the Dwarves exchange lewd jokes.

[The Elf-warrior]

Bilbo: "No, don't say another word about Gothmog."


Edit: Yay! 400th post!

[The Only Real Estel]

Bilbo: "Ugh, no, I can't watch anymore of Gigli."

Frodo: "But uncle, this is the first time you've seen it, & you've only seen fifteen minutes!"

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Bilbo now realises why you need to be careful what you wish for (http://forum.barrowdowns.com/showthread.php?t=12267&page=1&pp=40)!

Bilbo: Why did I wish for unlimited cheese?

[Lhunardawen]

Bilbo while watching RotK:

"Oh no, look Frodo, that giant arachnid's about to bite you! Aaah I can't look!"

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Those 5 army visions haunted Bilbo's old age...

(Wait: that's not funny!)

[CaptainofDespair]

Bilbo was a sad sort of hobbit. No one understood him anymore. Even Frodo and Gandalf couldn't understand the tortuous life he was living. No, it was his time now. He had to tell them, all of them. He had beheld the power of cheese, and he could resist the addiction no longer...

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Bilbo: AH! A new picture!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v604/hukbillgoomba/Crazy%20captions/Gandalf_RotK_8.jpg

Gandalf is told to sit in the corner and think about what he did.

Gandalf: I only uncloaked once... twice... a few times.

OR

Gandalf is about to get the high score on TETRIS, but Minas Tirith is about to fall! :eek:

[Glirdan]

Gandalf: So this is how MapQuest works. I don't like it!!! It tells lies!!! Lies I tell you!!!! :mad:

[Gurthang]

Gandalf's wife told him to wait outside the mall entrance until she came out. He's been sitting there for three days.

OR

After Butters the Squirrel stole all of his money, Gandalf was reduced to beg for a living.

OR

Gandalf sits down to relax on one of Minas Tirith's vibrating sitting rocks.

OR

Gandalf: "I cannot understand these directions. There's no Ecthelion Street here! Ohh! I hate MapQuest!"

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

No-one could be quite sure just what Gandalf did on the seedy backstreets of Minas Tirith.

[Kitanna]

After rough housing with Denethor Gandalf is put in a time out.

or

Gandalf tries to find his happy place.

[Boromir88]

In an act of Revenge Gandalf uses Denethor's flower pot as a toilet.

[CaptainofDespair]

Gandalf is on guard duty, as Pippin is...elsewhere...

Gandalf: Pippin, your smoking is quite obvious...

[mormegil]

Gandalf always found it important to update his memoirs

"It was in the nick-of-time that I arrived at Gondor, had I not arrived their destruction would have been certain. Now my arrival to Gondor was frought with danger, I overcame multiple Nazgul attacks and survived the inane chatter of a hobbit....In conclusion M-e is better with me and that is why I uncloaked."

[luthien-elvenprincess]

Gandalf was determined to be first in line at opening time at the "Red-Hot-Buy-One-Get-One-Free" sale at Sizzle's Fireworks Emporium & Donut-Hole Factory.

[mormegil]

Sir Ian showed up to wait in line for the premier of The Fellowship of the Ring dressed up and a bit too early.

(ah the memories of waiting all day to see it)

[Kath]

Gandalf is put on the naughty step.

[Gothmog]

While Gandalf took a nap on a calm back yard, the battle of Minas Tirith was lost.

OR

Gandalf: You see little mouse, everybody is important in a great city like this!

OR

Gandalf: I'm never allowed to play with the others. This isn't fair. I want, I want, I WANT to play hide and seek :(

OR

Gandalf: I could have become evil, travelled east to never return or go crazy and talk only to birds, but here I am stuck with these whining hobbits, rude dwarfes, greedy men and oh so neat elves. Manwe give me strenght...

[The Only Real Estel]

Gandalf: "Sigh, I can't stand this. All this tiptoeing around Denethor with little "half-truths" is making my nose grow!"

[Oddwen]

Gandalf writes a letter.

Dear Radagast: I hope this letter finds you well. Many are the strange tides in the fortunes of the world, and the hands of the small work wonders in the cracks where large hands cannot, the wise wonder and the foolish folk act, while the crow flies a hundred miles as the deer runs, and the pools at the end of streams grow ever deeper...

Or...

Gandalf sneaks a moment to cwy.

Or...

Gandalf sits and ponders Life, the Universe, and Everything.

Or...

"Here I am, brain the size of a planet and they ask me to guard a Halfling..."

[Beanamir of Gondor]

Gandalf, totally bored with the Siege of Gondor, decides to actually watch cement dry in Minas Tirith.

or

Gandalf, totally bored with the Siege of Gondor, has a staring contest with a box.

[The Only Real Estel]

In trouble for stealing Denethor's shrinking/sorcerer potion, Gandalf was now generally referred to as a small medium at large.

[The Elf-warrior]

Dear diary, I had almost forgotten why I hate Denethor so much but todays visit brought it all back to me, the arrogant pride, the sneakiness, the self-righteous hypocrisy, the odor of obstentious authority, the underhanded grilling, the veiled insults, the total lack of respect of my status as a Wizard, the total disdain for Aragorn, the clinging on to power, the complete contempt for his oath as Steward, and now something new, using his grief as a cloak to advance his personal agenda! It makes me so mad I want to punch him with my staff!

Your long-suffering servant,
Gandalf

[Boromir88]

Gandalf: 4...8...15...16...23...42

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Gandalf: If my calculations are correct, the flaming Denathor should land here, right about... ... now!

OR

Gandalf wonders where that mysterious passage leads. He is horrified to find that it's Denathor's collection of Gandalf the grey uncloaked pictures.

[Gothmog]

Aragorn from inside: No more Miruvor for you Gandy... And don't come back in here before you've sobered up!

Gandalf (whiter than usually): Ohhhhh....my head....it's spinning......ohhhh

[The Only Real Estel]

Apparently someone is taking being left out of phantom's WW game quite personally...

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

"Pippin! My new mobile phone has V-Rally on it!"

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Gandalf: I miss my hat. :(

[Glirdan]

Gandalf tries to find his happy place.

Unfortunately, his happy place had something to do with a plantiri!!

or

Sir Ian: Wow!! That game version of me is so much cooler!!! No wonder I got fired....

[Lalwendë]

Battle rages on without Gandalf as he hides in a corner with his new Sudoku book.


OR


Gandalf: "Harumph. I don't think much of the range in the Autumn Argos catalogue. Not a single pipe, and only one staff!"


OR


Gandalf had been waiting so long for the 07.25 to Osgiliath that he had fallen asleep.

[Mithalwen]

Gandalf begins to realise that his blind date isn't going to show up.....

".. I know I said Rath Celerdain at seven and I would be the one in white with a staff and a sword and she would carry a red rose and a copy of the "Daily Palantir" ..... maybe she has had an accident......."

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Pippin: Hay, my horoscope says I'm going to find great riches today!

Gandalf: I wouldn’t' listen to that horoscope.

Pippin: Oh, don't you believe in all that?

Gandalf: It’s not that, it's just Saruman writes those.

Pippin: Here is yours Gandalf, 'You are an old coot and wear a stupid hat and you should be ashamed of yourself!'

[Gil-Galad]

"So lonely...oh so Lonely...nobody here besides me..."

[THE Ka]

As usual, even the most energetic of the Gandalf can be seen taking in their favourite past time, the search of the meaning of Romanesque and empty poultry cages...

~ Aesthete

[Lhunardawen]

As a token of *ehem* peace, the Steward gave his fellow steward a throne.

[The Only Real Estel]

Gandalf lonesomely waited outside his nearest video store for the arrival of Star Wars: Episode 3 on DVD. (which seems to be dragging...)

[Gil-Galad]

Gandalf has been in the wrong line for the Star Wars movie for 6 months now

[Gurthang]

Gandalf is pouting because he died... And for what? Not even a new sword! All he got was a crummy white stick!

[mormegil]

http://www.zone-sf.com/images/lotr2tc.jpg

The two shirriffs discuss some recent events.

Gandalf: I was certain that both Gimli and Legolas were wolves but then when Gimli began to turn on Leggy it made me rethink it

Theoden: Yes, I agree though I think Sam is our seer!

or

Gandalf: Do you wear boxers or briefs?

Theoden: Why?

Gandalf: As I said I come to bring council in your dire peril.

[Gurthang]

Theoden decides to join Gandalf in his pouting.

OR

Theoden: "If you even think about it..."
Gandalf(trying to look innocent): "Whatever do you mean?"
Theoden: "You know of what I speak."

OR

Theoden(thinking): *Gasp!* He touched my throne! With that filthy, grimy hand he touched my throne!

OR

Gandalf: "Are you asleep?"
Theoden: "Quiet! I'm meditating."

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Gandalf and Théoden have a staring competition to decide who gets the last Jaffa cake! A worthy contest!

OR

Gandalf: Do you like my cloak?

Théoden *nervously*: ...y-y- yes?

Gandalf: Then take it!

OR

Gandalf: Do you like my cloak?

Théoden *nervously*: ...n-n- no?

Gandalf: Then I'll take it off!

Sometimes you just can't win.

[Orominuialwen]

Gandalf: So Theoden, could you please explain to me the functions of a cell membrane?

Theoden: Can't think...too early in morning...try me again in four hours...zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

[Gothmog]

Theoden: WHAT are you doing?
Gandalf: Nice horsie... don't be afraid of the bad angry man...

OR

Gandalf to himself: Everybody talks about the White Three of Gondor. Wonder if he's one of the other two?

OR

Gandalf: From this view then? Or was it better in profile?
Theoden: I'm sorry Gandalf but your nose still looks to big to me...

[Kitanna]

Theoden stares at the bit of corn stuck in Gandalf's beard.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Gandalf: I love what you have done with your hair.

Théoden: For the last time, you can't eat one of our horses!

OR

Théoden *thinking*: Curses! His beard is bigger than mine!

[mormegil]

Gandalf: What say you Theoden King, is my strategy sound?

Theoden: Yes I would say that your strategy is sound and makes sense and in most cases would work but I fear in this it would not.

Gandalf: Why is that?

Theoden: Well why the approach is good and your lines are well written Eowyn is rather young and you...well you're rather old.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Theoden: "Grima! You look so....so old!"

Gandalf: "For the last time, I'm not Grima."

or

Gandalf can't hide his jealousy of Theoden's suave hairstyle.

[Boromir88]

Gandalf: How many time have I told you, you can't eat anymore of those Hornburgers!

Theoden: But they're sooooo good.

Gandalf: Think of it this way. Taken your age into consideration, and you have a hornburger how many times a weak? 4...? So, 52 weeks in a year, you take 4 times 52, and that's 208 hornburgers a year! Now multiply that by the amount of calories in them...about 450 calories. That is 94,200 calories a year off hornburgers alone! You really need to start taking care of your heart.

[SunniGadi]

Gandalf: So about those RedSox...

Theoden: *sends out deathray of doom...from his eyes, of course.*

[The Only Real Estel]

Gandalf: "Don't worry, Theoden. I'm sure none of the things Saruman said about you earlier today were true."

Theoden: "Do I really...smell like elderberries?"

[Alcarillo]

Theoden (thinking): :( That's what I'll look like in fifteen years. . .

[luthien-elvenprincess]

Gandalf, "OK, now, back on track...number 183 of my 314 "knock-knock" jokes...I just don't understand why you keep changing the subject on me...knock, knock..."

Theoden silently groans and stares at Gandalf, wondering how long he can keep up the polite act.

(Knock knock...who's there...Turin...Turin who...turin the namecard over, honey, I got me a new moniker!)

[Holbytlass]

Gandalf: Is he still staring?
Theoden: Yea, he is not backing off. You might as well get it over with.
Gandalf: D*mn, I owe him money!

(look at Mormegil's avatar)

[The Elf-warrior]

Gandalf: "Look, Theoden, Aragorn has zero intention of marrying your daughter. He is already betrothed."

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Gandalf: Here, watch. If I twitch my nose my beard dances like a monkey.

[Lhunardawen]

Théoden weighs the odds of the wizard's survival as the Slug of Doom crawls up Gandalf's cloak.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Gandalf *thinking*: I don't have the heart to tell Théoden that his hair is terrible!

Théoden *thinking*: I don't have the heart to tell Gandalf that his hair is terrible!

OR

Gandalf: Did you put the cat out?

Théoden: No, why?

Gandalf: He's on fire.

*Groan*

[Gurthang]

Theoden: "Gandalf, could you please put your cloak back on? I know you're wearing an undergarmet, but it's not any less disconcorting."

OR

Gandalf: "I told you to go to the barber in Rivendel."
Theoden: "That doesn't explain how your beard stays so pointy."

OR

Theoden: "I just don't know about this. This chair looks an awefully lot like a target to me."
Gandalf: "Oh, nonsense! I think you being king is making you paranoid."

OR

PJ has a not so brilliant idea.
PJ: "And when I saw them sitting together, I was like 'Twins!'. So I decided to write them into the script as twins."

[Boromir88]

Theoden is still traumatized by Gandalf the Grey uncloaked that happened right in front of him 2 days ago.

Gandalf: Theoden....Theoden, Saruman's army is outside your door...

[HerenIstarion]

Surveying muster of Rohan, Theoden was shocked to learn 'all the king's horses and all the king's men' consisted of two wooden horses and an old man...

[Anguirel]

GANDALF: Fear Sauron's new guise, Theoden King...

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/4/4e/Annatar.jpg

The Dark...er...Light...Lord...er...Lady...er...

[Gothmog]

So this is how Gandalf looks uncloaked?

OR

Sauron to the witch king: Look! A little makeup, new haircut and new clothes. Now tell me Legolas is the most beautiful!

OR

Sam had never been any good at technical stuff. So whan he finally met an elf, the sun ruined the photo.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

How many Maiar does it take to screw in a light bulb? More than one evidently.

OR

Annatar: Tom Bombadill! I am your father!

[The Only Real Estel]

Either Rosie had undergone severe changes or Sam had simply drunk to much...again.

[luthien-elvenprincess]

Gandalf the Grey's graduation picture...Class of 18 F.A.
"Voted most likely to travel long distances"

[Lord Melkor]

Sauron's transformation after the Nazgul had signed him up for 'Queer Eye for the Straight Guy' was quite impressive.

[CaptainofDespair]

Legolas was never very good at cooking. This time, however, the flour exploded all over the place. Too bad he didn't realized that 'everywhere' also meant 'all over himself'.

[Alcarillo]

By some strange Be careful what you wish for... twist of fate, Sauron and Galadriel married and had a daughter.

[The Only Real Estel]

How Sauron really dealt with his prisoners...

Sauron: "I want to show you my mask. I use it on all my "patients," though you may not find it frightening...*puts on mask* THERE'S NOTHING TO FEAR, BUT FEAR ITSELF!"

[ElentariGreenleaf]

Sauron stared daily at the life-size poster of himself, wishing he hadn't traded in his white outfit for his black one. People had liked him until then...

[HerenIstarion]

Gil-Galad: Timeo Danaos et dona ferentes...
Elrond: What?
Gil-Galad: Um, right, wrong epic. I mean, I don't trust that Annatar guy at all

[Glirdan]

If you want to see Sauron like this, boot him off of Survivior!!!

[lothlorien]

Damn I can't see the pics I don't know why I could before but now I can't strange huh :rolleyes: oh well

[The Only Real Estel]

What's this? Has Lalwende ascended to "Dwells in the Spirit World"? :eek:

[The Elf-warrior]

Sauron: "Aragorn, I am your Grandmother in-law!"

[Fordim Hedgethistle]

Ground control to Sauron
Ground control to Sauron:
Take your protein pills and put your spiky helmet on
Ground control to Sauron:
Commencing countdown engine's on
Check ignition and may Morgoth be with you

This is ground control to Sauron, you've really made the grade!
And the papers want to know whose skirts you wear,
Now it's time to leave the Black Gate if you dare.

This is Sauron to ground control, I'm stepping through the door
And I'm floating in the most peculiar way
And I look very different today

For here am I floating in evening wear, far above the world
MIddle Earth is blue and there's nothing I can do

Though I'm past one hundred thousand miles, I'm feeling very still
And I think my army knows which way to go,
Tell Morgoth I love him very much he knows.

Ground control to Sauron:
Your circuit's dead, there's something wong.
Can you hear me Sauron?
Can you hear me Sauron?
Can you hear me Sauron? Can you…

Here am I floating round my land, far above Mount Doom
Middle Earth is blue and there's nothing I can do


(With profound and deepest apologies to the King of Glam, His Highness and Majesty of Glitz, Sir David Bowie.)

[Gurthang]

Nobody knew there were light-sockets in ME until this guy put his finger in one.

OR

Sauron decides to create a new terror: Elves cross-bred with electric eels!

OR

Legolas... as he sees himslef.

OR

Elf: "Take the next right it says... Rivendel is right there it says... Tgh! It didn't say I'd be going through a toxic waste drainpipe to get in! I hate MapQuest!"

[Gothmog]

Finally I get why he's called Gil-Galad...

Or

Frodo: SAM! That phial Galadriel gave me was NOT something you should drink!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

So kids, if you take drugs this is what you'll become! :eek:

OR

Sauron forgot about the electric fence.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Another Mary-Sue had entered Middle-earth.

She was deleted soon thereafter.

[Lhunardawen]

Saruman is desperate to reclaim the title 'the White'.

[Gurthang]

Frodo suddenly notices a smudge on Galadriel's phial. Wanting to keep the present extra spotless, he immediately sat down to polish the mark away. But, as soon as he rubbed the phial...

*poof!, flash, smoke, swirly*
Shiny man: "Who summons me! Who rubbed the Phial!"
Frodo: "I... I did! Who are you?"
Shiny man: "I am the Genie of Galadriel's Phial. I am here to grant you wishes three. Name the most outrageous desires of your heart."
Frodo: http://www.corsaclub.de/smilies/23.gif
Genie: "But no killing anyone."
Frodo: :( *thinks* http://www.corsaclub.de/smilies/23.gif
Genie: "I can't make someone fall in love."
Frodo: :( *thinks* http://www.corsaclub.de/smilies/23.gif
Genie: "And no wishing for more wishes."
Frodo: :(

[Firefoot]

Gandalf: No longer am I Gandalf the Grey, but Gandalf the Bright!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Sauron: I demand a new picture!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v604/hukbillgoomba/Crazy%20captions/06.jpg

Denethor: Speak one more time, Faramir, and I'll clobber you to death with this stick. Is that clear? ... ... I said, 'is that clear?' :mad:

Faramir: ... yes?

Denethor: RIGHT! I warned you!

OR the obligatory;

Denethor: Gandalf, your uncloaking does not please me!

[Rimbaud]

"Wise man...mumble mumble...eye of a needle...bigger I say! Make the needle bigger!"

[Gothmog]

Denethor: I hate this, looking all girlish in this hair...I'll get PJ for this.

Or

Denethor: How come Gandalf got a long, nice staff while I only have this little twig?

Or

Denethor (thinking): Nobody will ever beat me in a staring contest. I've been training on that statue for years now.

Or

Gandalf: Denny, have I ever told you about the resemblence between you and a rather jolly fellow I know by the name Gollum?
Denethor: :mad:

Or Denethor the Werewolf: Must not...must not kill...feeling urge for blood getting stronger...must keep hiding...

[The Saucepan Man]

Their crude results notwithstanding, Denethor jealously guarded his curling tongs.

[THE Ka]

After a long 'embassy' trip to Mordor, cleverly disguised as a vacation, Denethor discovers that the state of his living has changed on him...

" Oh, it is so nice to be bac... Oh dear Eru! What is that pattern on the walls!? Faramir! I swear, if you are going to try so hard at interior design, it would be better to start with the interior of your head first! No wonder everyone thinks i'm mad..."

~ Aesthete

[Kitanna]

Denethor is far from impressed with Faramir and Pippin's performance of West Side Story
Denthor: My eyes burn!

or

Denethor witnesses what will happen when milk is allowed to sit for more than two weeks.

[Mithalwen]

Denethor was determined to get the part of the Cowardly Lion in the Wizard of Oz


or funnily enough, Denethor's pet was a grumpy looking Pekingese

[Mithalwen]

Denethor desperately needed the loo... but he didn't want to admit his hands were superglued to his staff...

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Denethor: For the last time, I am not the King of the Dead!

OR

Gandalf's suggestion that Balrogs have wings was not well received by Denethor.

[mormegil]

Maestro Denethor, master conducter was always rather sensitive when told that his baton was slightly oversized.

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Denethor: Is there no one who will tell me how many angels can dance on the head of this pin?

[Oddwen]

Denethor was not happy that his other autographed custom Travis Barker special edition hand-carved Vic Firth 12C drumstick had been used for a toilet plunger.

Or...

"Nobody uses this turkey baster except me. NOBODY!"

Or...

Nobody was very surprised when Denethor wrapped gold leaf on the end of a stick and proclaimed himself his son's "fairy godmother".

[CaptainofDespair]

Denethor: I will not be relegated to the Old Man in the Tower! I know what happened to the Old Man and the Sea, and the Old Woman who lived in a Shoe! You...will...no...*falls asleep*

Gandalf: See, Faramir. All you have to do is get him to wear himself out, and he'll fall right to sleep.

[Glirdan]

Denethor: Why am I in here? I'm NOT supposed to be here!!! Where am I!?!? OHHH!!!! I HATE MapQuest!!!! :mad:

or

Denethor: I DID not order these life sized Merry and Pippin salt and pepper shakers!!! I ordered the life sized version of my son as a juice jug!!! Does that look like my son to you!?!?

Gandalf: I'm sorry my liege, but your son is dead.

Denethor: No he's not!! He's just pretending to be dead so he can surprise me by being the juice jug!! Sheez, and you call yourself a Maia. :rolleyes:

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Denethor: Hit me with your staff again, Gandalf. I dare you! I double dare you!

[Bêthberry]

Denethor simply could not face the prospect of more visits to the dentist or yet more hot oil treatments.

[Boromir88]

Denethor: Ok, students, I'm taking the place of Gandalf as your teacher today...and don't call me a substitute teacher! I'm an instructor from the County...got that!

P.S., anyone wondering wth is Boromir talking about? Just a highschool experience where a substitute teacher refused to be called a sub. :p

[The Saucepan Man]

Much subsequent grief could have been avoided had people taken notice when Denethor took a giant matchstick as his sceptre.

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Denethor, Steward and president of the don't kill the messenger association. Gets horribel news and gets an sudden urge too kill the nearest person.

(mabey not that funny, but hey I got to start someplace)

[The Elf-warrior]

Denethor: "No, Peregrin Took, this is not an Oliphaunt toothpick!"

[Meela]

Not even the temptation of his very own burnin' battleship bath-set could make Denethor co-operate at bath time.

[luthien-elvenprincess]

Denethor grabbed the little slicker's (Pippen) cue stick as soon as he realized he was being hustled.

[The Only Real Estel]

Denethor decided to attempt his own version of the wrist-braking-tear-a-phonebook-in-half trick by tearing a small paper scroll in half:

"Nnnnerrgg! Almost...got...it...eeerrggg!!"

[Hookbill the Goomba]

After a vigorous clean of the whole palace Denethor sits down only to notice a speck on the highest window.

OR

Denethor: If you say that again, Gandalf, it will be my turn to get angry. Then you would see Denethor the steward un-

Gandalf: Don't even think about it! That's my gimmick! Get your own!

[Morsul the Dark]

Denny-boy-Why am I always "it" I hate playing Hide and Seek with you guys it so unfair.

Gandalf-We're unfair? you cheat always using the palantir to find us

D-thats not cheating its strategic!

G-Cheater Cheater poopy-eater!

:p

[Firefoot]

Denethor: For the third time, I am NOT playing with a plastic lightsaber!

[Morsul the Dark]

Denetor's mom(offscreen): Have you thought about what you've done?

D:yes mom

DM:Then you can come out of time out now

[Glirdan]

Denethor: I will NOT bow to this Ranger from the North!!!

Gandalf: But he can protect you!!

Denethor: I don't care if Minas Tirith is filled with Werewolves!!! I will not be protected by a measely peasent who claims to be King!!!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Someone stole Denethor's Teddy Bear! :eek:

OR

Denethor: I am steward of this realm, and when I say 'dance' I want you to dance!

Gandalf: I'm leaving.

[Alcarillo]

Denethor was not amused by the whoopie cushion Pippin had placed on his chair.

[Lalwendë]

Denethor: "They ruined all my dreams of glory! Damn them! Throwing me out of the majorette troupe just because I refused to wear their stupid pink mini-skirts!"



OR



Denethor is fuming when he finds he has only been placed third in the finals of the All-Gondor Air Drumming Championship.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Denethor: Gandalf! You put jelly on my seat!

Gandalf: *whistles*

OR

Denethor: What is that terrible, awful, truly disgusting smell? Oh, hello Aragorn.

[Lalwendë]

Ken Dodd was furious when the Diddy Men destroyed his tickling stick. It would be double shifts at the jam butty mine for weeks.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

The rollercoaster is about to start, but Denethor is in no mood to have fun.

[The Only Real Estel]

Denethor discovered a strange and terrible new sensation: A charley-horse in the rear.


(edit: charley-horse: a severe muscular cramp, especially in the upper leg) if you've never had one before I envy you...

[The Elf-warrior]

http://i33.photobucket.com/albums/d78/ShelobsBane/rotk1586.jpg

What he was writing in his diary:

Dear diary, Mithrandir visited me today and he was unbelievably annoying, a hypocritical whiner, self-righteous, arrogant to the max and incredibly disrespectful of the humble office of Steward, supercilious, subtiley advancing the perfidious plots of that smiling villain Aragorn, (Do I need to remind you of the way he slithered into my father's heart?), a liar, proverb peddler, cheesy moral-monger, and as a new form of villainy he brought a Halfling to spy on me! Peregrin Took has been peregrinating long enough with that devil who now calls himself Gandalf the White. I have to leave now because that Halfing is about.
Your longsuffering Steward,
Denethor

[mormegil]

Denethor: By the power of Gondor I HAVE THE POWER.

*nothing happens*

Denethor: Aww Crap! I swear this worked before.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Denethor: If you are indeed wise, Mithrandir, then let a gallon of oil fall from the sky onto my head. *splosh*... Very funny.

OR

Denethor: This eagle is really trying my patience! I thought it was supposed to come back to my arm!

[Boromir88]

Denethor: The answers always no!

or,

Denethor gives everyone an example of what a burning effigy is.

[Gothmog]

Denethor tries telepathy: chiiicken. I want chiiicken. Bring me it noooow....

Or

Denethor's new party trick with white eyes went totally unnoticed as Gandalf brought fireworks...

Or

Denethor wasn't at all happy with his role as he were soon going to die. In a desperate attempt to stay in the movies he tried to show PJ his talents in playing undead: Look! What if I come back as a steward-ghoul? Or zombie? I can look really horrifying! No? All this practice wasted...

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Its always the way, isn't it? Just when you're in the middle of a long dramatic speech, you step in dog muck.

OR

Denethor rolls his eyes as the five hundredth person yells, "Hay! Denethor! You're on fire! :p", "You're hot!" and "You flaming steward!"

[Firefoot]

Not actually wanting to play Denethor, John Noble practices eye-rolling to be cast as Frodo.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Denethor: Friends! Romans! Countrymen! Lend me your- ... I'm in the wrong place! Curse you Map Quest!

OR

Denethor tries for the most dramatic uncloaking since Gandalf started the affair.

[Gurthang]

Denethor: "Ugck! Dog Drool!"

OR

Denethor: "War? Sauron? Oh, they completely slipped my mind. Don't worry about them now, this is a more important descision. Come, which is more me the mink coat or the leather jacket?"

OR

Denethor is confused... and angry because of it.

OR

Denethor was the wolf! See how hairy he is!

[Kitanna]

Denethor: "Ugck! Dog Drool!"
Or
Denethor's pet oliphant tried to eat him again.

[The Saucepan Man]

Gandalf: And so passes Denethor, son of Ecthelion, his neck chewed by a rabid hamster.

[Meela]

Gandalf attacks Denethor with his staff yet again, and hits a particularly tender area...

[Oddwen]

Denethor was not happy to be hitchhiking in the rain...

[malkatoj]

Denethor: Faramir, I'm going to teach you once and for all: DO NOT EAT MY COOKIES!

[Glirdan]

Denethor was preparing to turn into the furry little secret he had before the villagers could lynch him.

[The Only Real Estel]

Gondor's many cookie jars were well guarded by an extremely scary looking gargoyle.

[THE Ka]

Through there remains much debate on what really made him mad and the loss of money on decor, the wallpaper and Denethor eventually end up fighting a duel to the death... The only thing to result of the matter is Denethor finally realizing that Faramir (http://forum.barrowdowns.com/showpost.php?p=423496&postcount=7891) missed a spot in the NW corner of the building...

~ Aesthete

[HerenIstarion]

[Sound of many TV's coming on, all on different channels]
"The Bulls are already out there"
Denethor: "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrgh!"
"This Roman Meal bakery thought you'd like to know."

[Music in the background]

I don't need no arms around me
And I dont need no drugs to calm me.
I have seen the writing on the wall.
Don't think I need anything at all.
No! Don't think I'll need anything at all.
All in all it was all just bricks in the wall.
All in all you were all just bricks in the wall.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Budget cuts in Gondor meant the steward had to stand in for the local scarecrow.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Gorilla costumes are lots of fun, until the head falls off; then you just look like an idiot, and children will mock you.

[Rimbaud]

Eventually, his PR people just insisted he had the growth on his shoulder removed. Not being able to turn left was hampering his walking quite badly.

[Fordim Hedgethistle]

Denethor: Balrogs do so have wings! Big wings that spread from wall to wall, like this! And they are covered in fire and smoke, like...like....hey, hand me that torch will you?

[Hookbill the Goomba]

The Emperor’s new hat. Or rather; The stewards new giant hat.

OR

When the king said that the stewards would hold the city till his return. Denethor didn't think he meant it literally.

[The Only Real Estel]

Frodo (offscreen): "Hey! I thought the eye-rolling was my job!"

[CaptainofDespair]

Denethor felt something was terribly wrong. Was it always this cold in the White Tower? He decided it best to review the transactions from his account at First Gondor National Bank. Electricity...check. Catering...check. Guards...check. Excessive purchases of giant coats...check. What didn't he pay on time? He could only wonder...

[dancing spawn of ungoliant]

Denethor wasn't exactly a morning person...

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Denethor: I demand a new picture! This is getting far too silly!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v604/hukbillgoomba/Crazy%20captions/Aragorn7.jpg

Aragorn: Not now Gandalf!

OR

Aragorn Begins to think that chopping off his own arm might be more pleasurable than talking to Legolas about hair care.

[Kath]

Aragorn realises too late that gesturing wildly with a sword while talking is not always the best idea.

OR

The guy at the back is controlling Aragorn via telepathy!

[CaptainofDespair]

Aragorn just got done re-enacting Boromir's death. However, he was too wimpy to let them shoot him with arrows, and so had a stunt double die in his place.

[Gurthang]

Aragorn's a little spaced-out. Not a good idea while holding a sword.

OR

Man (not pictured): "Forsooth, thoust must recant ye bloodlust! Thoust art encoursed unto the uttermost depths' of Satan's shrine! Repent foul varlet, or the Devil hast thee!"
Aragorn contemplates whether he should try to understand or just kill the man.

OR

Viggo: "PJ. No."
PJ: "Oh, com'n. I'll give you a bonus!"
Viggo: "PJ. No."
PJ: "Really, I'm your boss!"
Viggo: "I don't care, I have morals. I'm not stripping!"

[Gothmog]

Aragorn couldn't let go of the feeling that everwhere he looked he saw the same longhaired old man wearing brown...

OR

Aragorn tried the role as Black Knight in the ME version of Monty Python's Holy Grail. Somehow they didn't manage to chop of his arms though...

OR

Aragorn to Pippin: One word...just try me! One single word!

OR

Aragorns attempts to make his shirt to a t-shirt never really succeeded,

[Meela]

Several days later, when Legolas still isn't talking to him, it occurs to Aragorn that maybe, just occasionally, he should put his sword away. For instance, when helpfully re-braiding Legolas' hair.

Or

Aragorn falls victim to one of Merry and Pippin's superglueing pranks.

[Formendacil]

Aragorn suddenly realizes that being in his late '80s makes him the oldest man in the room.

[mormegil]

Aragorn: *thinking* Did somebody just goose me?

[Fordim Hedgethistle]

Aragorn:

On the floor of Edoras
Or down in Gondor to go, go
With the record selection
With the mirror reflection
I'm dancing with myself

When there's no-one else in sight
In the crowded lonely night
Well I wait so long
For my love vibration
And I'm dancing with myself

Oh dancing with myself
Oh dancing with myself
Well there's nothing to lose
And there's nothing to prove
I'll be dancing with myself

If I looked all over the world
And there's every type of girl
But your empty eyes
Seem to pass me by
Leave me dancing with myself

So let's sink another drink
'Cause it'll give me time to think
If I had the chance
I'd ask the world to dance
And I'll be dancing with myself

Oh dancing with myself
Oh dancing with myself
Well there's nothing to lose
And there's nothing to prove
I'll be dancing with myself

If I looked all over the world
And there's every type of girl
But your empty eyes
Seem to pass me by
Leave me dancing with myself

So let's sink another drink
'Cause it'll give me time to think
If I had the chance
I'd ask the world to dance
And I'll be dancing with myself

Oh dancing with myself
Oh dancing with myself
If I had the chance
I'd ask the world to dance
If I had the chance
I'd ask the world to dance
If I had the chance
I'd ask the world to dance

Dancing with myself
Dancing with myself
Dancing with myself
Dancing with myself

If I looked all over the world
And there's every type of girl
But your empty eyes
Seem to pass me by
Leave me dancing with myself

So let's sink another drink
'Cause it'll give me time to think
If I had the chance
I'd ask the world to dance
And I'll be dancing with myself

Oh dancing with myself
Oh dancing with myself
If I had the chance
I'd ask the world to dance
If I had the chance
I'd ask the world to dance
If I had the chance
I'd ask the world to dance

*Without any kind of apologies of any sort to Billy Idol

[The Only Real Estel]

Aragorn: "How do you like my new designer shirt, Legolas? The faded/ripped look and everything; it cost me $87 at Aeropostal."

Legolas: "Aragorn, how stupid do you think I am? Those tears obviously weren't the original style, you just bought an eight dollar shirt & cut it up a bit with your sword."

Aragorn : "Grrrr...."

[Glirdan]

Unknown to the others in the inn, Aragorn was actually the Ranger protecting them. Unknow to Aragorn, the guy in the back was actually a Wolf getting ready to attack him!!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

When Aragorn heard that all the cake was gone, he couldn't stand to live any more.

OR

Aragorn: If he says that Balrogs have wings one more time, I am going to lose it!

[malkatoj]

Aragorn sees a six-fingered man.

ARAGORN: Hello. I am the heir of Isildur. You killed my father. Prepare to die.



(I know, it's not technically correct...but it makes me happier this way.)

[Gothmog]

Mod. Anguirel has hired a grim looking Aragorn as bodyguard of Curufin. But he will not win! Charge!!!

Help defeat the evil in Silmariollion Survivor soon back in a forum close to you!
(oh, this ended up as propaganda...so sorry...)

OR

Arwen: I'm a much better cook than Eowyn, right?
Aragorn:...............

OR

Aragorn just saw a picture of himself in the Crazy Caption thread...oops

(I know, the worst so far...ever! I'm too tired for this)

[The Saucepan Man]

Despite Galmod’s impressive Asparagus and Eomund’s sizeable Leek, the imminent arrival of 10,000 Uruks somewhat dampened Aragorn’s enthusiasm for this year’s Annual Hornburg Prize Vegetable Contest.

[luthien-elvenprincess]

Huh, let me think for a minute now...yeah, I took a bath on Midsummer's Day...so I'm not due yet for a fortnight...wonder what's those guys are staring at...

[The Only Real Estel]

The moment of the lynching draws near as the lynchees are herded onto the lynching platform...

Aragorn: "This has got to be the biggest mass lynching ever. Who's idea was this!?" :mad:

[Gandalf_the _white]

Eowyn(off screen):noooooooooooo!!!!!!!!! don't do it!!!!!! :D

[Gandalf_the _white]

i saw this pic and thought "Bilbo finds a naked orc in his bed!" lol
sorry if no-one else finds it funny

[Boromir88]

Aragorn contemplates chopping off Theoden's head after insulting his Mom.

or...

Aragorn: Arwen! What are you doing here?

Arwen: Who was that blonde chick you were hugging?

Edit:

Seeing Gandalf's pick, which is hilarious...How about the old...

Bilbo sees Gandalf the Grey...uncloaked.

or...

Bilbo tries to star in the new movie...Exorcist: The Bilbo Baggins Story.

[The Saucepan Man]

Visitors to Bag End soon learned not to call before Bilbo had finished his first cup of coffee of the morning.

[Holbytlass]

The moment of the lynching draws near as the lynchees are herded onto the lynching platform...

Aragorn: "This has got to be the biggest mass lynching ever. Who's idea was this!?" :mad:

His *pointing up*


Bilbo pic: Must be a full moon

[The Only Real Estel]

Diary of an innocent villager
---------------------

DAY one: We lynch our seer

NIGHT one: The cursed is found by the wolves.

DAY two: We lynch our hunter

NIGHT three: Our ranger is found by the wolves.

DAY four: The cursed transforms. (see inclosed photo)

[Valesse]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v222/Valesse/theoden2.jpg
Theoden sighs heavily: "Okay...think...where did I last see my gameboy..."

[Kitanna]

Theoden's nails were considered weapons in seventy-nine countries.

or

Theoden didn't age like wine, he aged like milk.

[Gurthang]

Theoden didn't age like wine, he aged like milk.
Meaning he got sour and stinky. :D


But on to originality:

Theoden's barber cancelled his appointment... for the 73rd time!

OR

Theoden decides that the leather coat would have been a better choice than the rabbit's fur he got. But alas, the Gap of Rohan is closed for the weekend.

OR

Even getting to ride in the pony chair on the carousel couldn't cheer Theoden up.

[Alcarillo]

Theoden was 267 days into his no-bath regimen. He was so close to beating Aragorn's record, he could almost feel victory in his dry, rough hands that very moment.

[mormegil]

Theoden sat pondering the punishment to be issued to Grima for leaving him in his bath for too long



On a serious note I think we might be getting too many pictures...we need to milk one for all it's worth

[Hookbill the Goomba]

On a serious note I think we might be getting too many pictures...we need to milk one for all it's worth

I think there should be at least 20 captions to a picture unless it’s a really good one! :D

__________________________________________________ ________________

Théoden: You have no power here, Gandalf the grey!

Gandalf: No, you have no power here, Théoden King!

Théoden: Aww. But I like power!

OR

No one turned up for Théoden’s 111th birthday party. :(

OR YET

Théoden doesn’t get the joke.

[Gothmog]

Theoden had always been a big fan of Gandalf, but somehow he didn't manage to get that "old, wise, longbearded" look. All he got was "old, bearded" look.

OR

Theoden: Come on Grima, you're terrible at hide and seek! I've been sitting here 25 years now!

OR

Theoden mumbling to himself:...A sore day! A hmm... A green day...Blue day? Ahh red day! And then: Ride now, ride to ruin and the world's beginning. LIFE! No, not enough drama. The world's ending and death! That's it! Have to remember that one.

OR

Theoden Crusoe hadn't seen a ship for 10 years when the pirates found him.

[mormegil]

Theoden ponders on how best to handle his newest problem

Theoden: Ummm Grima be a good lad and come here

Grima: Yes King what is it?

Theoden: Come near...*whisper* I think I've soiled myself.

[malkatoj]

Theoden: Maybe I shouldn't have genetically engineered my hair to glow...

[Rimbaud]

Thanks to a simple misunderstanding regarding size, the pair of Trojan horses ordered by the King were far less impressive than he had hoped.

[Fordim Hedgethistle]

Theoden:

"Here I sit, broken-hearted,
Paid a dime..."





(With profound apologies to, well, pretty much everyone.)

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

The exact moment where Theoden who's motto was: I will never ever use up all funds to build a giant useless Ceramic penquin! realises he might have made a mistake, giving that artist free hands to make a monument to the Kingdom of Rohan.

[dancing spawn of ungoliant]

It was ok to be a werewolf but shedding hair every day was nasty.

or

"Cause I'm all alone. There's no one here beside me. My problems have all
gone, there's no one to deride me. But you gotta have friends..."

[Meela]

Gandalf confused the 'draw out all evil' spell with 'turn into frozen statue'.

[Morsul the Dark]

Theoden: ok so......there was kili fili ori nori....bombor hes the big one right
Bilbo:It doesn't matter they just came in for tea that day!
Theoden attempts to follow Bilbo's story but with so many dsdwarves he gets lost

[Boromir88]

Theoden regrets entering into a staring contest with Gandalf, which has been going on for 73 and a half years.

[CaptainofDespair]

Theoden had not been eager to go out and play with the other Rohirrim boys. Instead, he stayed on his throne, protecting it as if someone might come and steal it from him. Looking back on it all, Theoden felt sad. He knew he had missed out on a great opportunity, especially when told what they had done to young Hama.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Théoden doesn’t even realise that someone has taken his newspaper.

[mormegil]

At this stage in life mere triffles of war and betrayal could not dismay Theoden King especially when his favorite elf was on the line and he needed to roll a natural 20 to save him....needless to say that die sat in his hand for a long time.

(look at this right hand)

[The Saucepan Man]

Theoden was seriously considering asking for a refund on his stress ball.

[Rimbaud]

Theoden began to seriously regret choosing an Entish barber.

[Gothmog]

Not even his favourite feathery friend Chico the Chicken could cheer Theoden up.
(and with those looks, it was the only chick who liked him;))

OR

Theoden sat and remember the proud man he had met. His hero, his idol. The only thing he had left of Aragorn was some dirt that had come off his hair...

OR

Theoden still clutched the crumpled letter of refuse that he had gotten in return for his 3 feet loveletter to Galadriel... just couldn't get over it... "like you as a friend"? Bah!

[Valesse]

It hit Theoden, King of Rohan, slowly but the effect would be everlasting. He was in no way a David Bowie look alike and the long, teased hair would never work....no matter what Grima told him.

OR

Theoden knew he was never any good at freeze tag, but did the other Rohirrim have to take advantage it so sorely?

OR

Theoden, outside of public knowledge, had a terrible case of insomina, and it wasn't uncommon to find him up at early hours reviewing RohanTV's late night game/talk shows.

(There was actually a television station called "Rohan TV". I'm in the process of trying to buy their road sign for my bedroom.)

[Bêthberry]

Theoden to himself: "Why the Dickens do they want me to look like Miss Haversham? I meant for the best when I adopted Estellowyn."

[Hookbill the Goomba]

When Gandalf announces that the old and long bearded look was out of fashion, Théoden had to come to terms with no longer being in style.

OR

The horrid effects of Gandalf the grey uncloaked. This man is actually 24 years old.

[mormegil]

Theoden at his AA meeting

"Alcohol ruined my life I'm 36 years old"

[Hookbill the Goomba]

When you are superglued to your chair, sometimes it's a lifelong ordeal.

OR

Théoden: "I wish these horses would pull my chariot!"

[Mithalwen]

Theoden never gave up hope. He had been waiting for his blind date to show up for 25 years....

[The Only Real Estel]

No Red Sox...no Yankees...Theoden realized that all of a sudden he cared very little about the outcome of the World Series.

[The Only Real Estel]

Playing off of Hookbill and Mormegil:

A reporter for the Rohirrim Report came upon a decrepit old man, seemingly the oldest that Rohan had ever seen.

Reporter: "How do you do it!?"

Old man: "Well, I smoke five packs of cigarettes a day, drink a case of liquor, and stay up all night going to parties."

Reporter: "That's wonderful! How old are you anyway?"

"Old" man: "26."

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Théoden's been listening to Hotel California backwards now for 3 straight weeks; but he just can't decipher any hidden messages.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

201 pages, 8002 posts. And Crazy Captions still fails to amuse Théoden.

[Glirdan]

201 pages, 8002 posts. And Crazy Captions still fails to amuse Théoden.

No, he was much more interested in the Fortunately/Unfortunately jokes and puns. :rolleyes:

[Valesse]

Theoden whispered hoarsely to himself, watching the movie for the sixth time that night while the other's slept... "But how could there not be any spoon? He's holding it..."

OR

It was then as Gandalf the White stepped through the doors of the hall, haunty elf, surly dwarf, and mangly-bearded human intoe, that Theoden reconsidered the design for the back of his new throne.

OR

Behold! This is the fate of Sleeping Beauty, were she to sleep with her eyes open.

[gralin musicteeth]

"Paul is dead! I got it that time! Miss him, miss him...cranberry sauce?"

(P.S. Sorry to non-beatles fans...you probably won't get that)

[The Only Real Estel]

Although Downsaholics Anonymous (http://forum.barrowdowns.com/showthread.php?t=10542&page=1) proved to be a good support group, it was becoming increasingly more difficult for poor Theoden to keep his addiction to the Downs a secret.