Crazy Captions

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Theoden thought there was something suspicious about the new weight lifting equipment in the Edoras gym.

[Mattius]

GET YOUR HOOFS OFF OF ME YOU DAMN DIRTY HORSE!:mad:

or

As he awoke in the morning, Theoden realised that he should never have refused Don Corleone's demand.

[Parmastahir]

"This just in on Edoras Channel 5 Evening News! A horrible accident has occurred on the 'Ride the Mearas' Carousel. We take you live to the amusement park where correspondent Anderune is on the scene . . . "

[Parmastahir]

Théoden: "Here I am trapped under Snowmane. I feel the approach of the Witch King! Oh no . . . It's worse. AAIIIYYEEE! GANDALF UNCLOAKING!"

[Parmastahir]

Going for the Guiness Book of World Records for lowest limbo under a horse , Théoden's attempt goes awry when he knocks the bar loose.

(Guess I had a bit of pent up humor waiting to bust loose with a new picture!)

[Finrod Felagund]

Theoden : I was going to throw my sword to the Witch-King's chest when this narcoleptic horse threw up!

[Parmastahir]

Théoden: "I said that I was cold and wanted a horseblanket. Not a horse as a blanket!"

[Parmastahir]

WK: "Victory is mine! Glory to Lord Sauron!"

Théoden: "Have at you!"

WK: "You're kidding me, right?"

Théoden: "Certainly not! Afraid to contest the field?"

WK: "Look, you can't get out from under your horse much less make a run at me."

Théoden: "I've had worse!"

WK: "You lie!"

Théoden: "C'mon you pansy!"

WK: "What are you going to do, bite my legs off?"

Théoden: "Alright, we'll call it a draw."

[Parmastahir]

Théoden realizes too late that he's too old for the horse put at the quadrennial Rohan Olympics.

[Oddwen]

Theoden: Argh! Not again! If I can't put the cart before the horse, and putting the horse before the cart ends in this, what am I supposed to do?

Or...

I know an Rohirrim who swallowed a Ring...
I don't know why he swallowed that Ring, perhaps he'll die!

I know a Rohirrim who swallowed a Gollum
It wiggled and jiggled and tickled inside him!

He swallowed the Gollum to catch the Ring
But I don't know why he swallowed that Ring, perhaps he'll die!

I know a Rohirrim who swallowed a Strider
He swallowed the Strider to catch the Gollum
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside him
He swallowed the Gollum to catch the Ring
But I don't know why he swallowed that Ring, perhaps he'll die!

I know a Rohirrim who swallowed a Glorfindel
He swallowed the Glorfindel to catch the Strider
He swallowed the Strider to catch the Gollum
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside him
He swallowed the Gollum to catch the Ring
But I don't know why he swallowed that Ring, perhaps he'll die!

I know a Rohirrim who swallowed an Arwen
He swallowed the Arwen to catch the Glorfindel
He swallowed the Glorfindel to catch the Strider
He swallowed the Strider to catch the Gollum
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside him
He swallowed the Gollum to catch the Ring
But I don't know why he swallowed that Ring, perhaps he'll die!

I know a Rohirrim who swallowed an Elrond
He swallowed the Elrond to catch the Arwen
He swallowed the Arwen to catch the Glorfindel
He swallowed the Glorfindel to catch the Strider
He swallowed the Strider to catch the Gollum
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside him
He swallowed the Gollum to catch the Ring
But I don't know why he swallowed that Ring, perhaps he'll die!

I know a Rohirrim who swallowed a Gil-Galad
He swallowed the Gil-Galad to catch the Elrond
He swallowed the Elrond to catch the Arwen
He swallowed the Arwen to catch the Glorfindel
He swallowed the Glorfindel to catch the Strider
He swallowed the Strider to catch the Gollum
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside him
He swallowed the Gollum to catch the Ring
But I don't know why he swallowed that Ring, perhaps he'll die!

I know a Rohirrim who swallowed a Sauron
He swallowed the Sauron to catch the Gil-Galad
He swallowed the Gil-Galad to catch the Elrond
He swallowed the Elrond to catch the Arwen
He swallowed the Arwen to catch the Glorfindel
He swallowed the Glorfindel to catch the Strider
He swallowed the Strider to catch the Gollum
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside him
He swallowed the Gollum to catch the Ring
But I don't know why he swallowed that Ring, perhaps he'll die!

I know a Rohirrim who swallowed a Luthien
He swallowed the Luthien to catch the Sauron
He swallowed the Sauron to catch the Gil-Galad
He swallowed the Gil-Galad to catch the Elrond
He swallowed the Elrond to catch the Arwen
He swallowed the Arwen to catch the Glorfindel
He swallowed the Glorfindel to catch the Strider
He swallowed the Strider to catch the Gollum
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside him
He swallowed the Gollum to catch the Ring
But I don't know why he swallowed that Ring, perhaps he'll die!

I know a Rohirrim who swallowed a Silmaril
He swallowed the Silmaril to catch the Luthien
He swallowed the Luthien to catch the Sauron
He swallowed the Sauron to catch the Gil-Galad
He swallowed the Gil-Galad to catch the Elrond
He swallowed the Elrond to catch the Arwen
He swallowed the Arwen to catch the Glorfindel
He swallowed the Glorfindel to catch the Strider
He swallowed the Strider to catch the Gollum
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside him
He swallowed the Gollum to catch the Ring
But I don't know why he swallowed that Ring, perhaps he'll die!

I know a Rohirrim who swallowed a Starglass
He swallowed the Starglass to catch the Silmaril
He swallowed the Silmaril to catch the Luthien
He swallowed the Luthien to catch the Sauron
He swallowed the Sauron to catch the Gil-Galad
He swallowed the Gil-Galad to catch the Elrond
He swallowed the Elrond to catch the Arwen
He swallowed the Arwen to catch the Glorfindel
He swallowed the Glorfindel to catch the Strider
He swallowed the Strider to catch the Gollum
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside him
He swallowed the Gollum to catch the Ring
But I don't know why he swallowed that Ring, perhaps he'll die!

I know a Rohirrim who swallowed a Hobbit
He swallowed the Hobbit to catch the Starglass
He swallowed the Starglass to catch the Silmaril
He swallowed the Silmaril to catch the Luthien
He swallowed the Luthien to catch the Sauron
He swallowed the Sauron to catch the Gil-Galad
He swallowed the Gil-Galad to catch the Elrond
He swallowed the Elrond to catch the Arwen
He swallowed the Arwen to catch the Glorfindel
He swallowed the Glorfindel to catch the Strider
He swallowed the Strider to catch the Gollum
That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside him
He swallowed the Gollum to catch the Ring
But I don't know why he swallowed that Ring, perhaps he'll die!


I know a Rohirrim who swallowed Bill the Pony

...Bill the Pony? He's dead, of course!

[Parmastahir]

"This just in on Edoras Channel 5 Evening News! A horrible accident has occurred during The Horse event at the quadrenniel Rohan Olympics. We take you live to the venue where correspondent Anderune is on the scene . . . "

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Gandalf discovered that uncloaking in front of horses could have dire consequences.

[Kuruharan]

Theoden: I've fallen...and I can't get up!

[SamwiseGamgee]

Alas, methinks a change is needed!

http://images.allmoviephoto.com/2002_The_Lord_of_the_Rings:_The_Two_Towers/two_towers_028.jpg

Eomer: 'I don't think anyone saw us, but Grima- this has to stop. It's tearing me apart!'
Grima: 'Oh, shut up and kiss me again, you handsome big horsemaster, you!'

[skip spence]

http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash2/hs305.ash2/58540_152557554765025_100000323430073_325708_78879 4_n.jpg
(starting off with the obvious)

Butterbur: The gentleman over there? Oh lordy, look away! That's Gandalf and he's uncloaking again!
Sam: Too late...

[Oddwen]

Frodo: I don't want that pie. I wanted the pie next to it.

Barliman: What, that pie? You can't have that pie.

Frodo: I paid you extra for that very pie!

Barliman: I tell you, you cannot have that pie! They are all the same, anyway!

Pie: Quack!

Barliman: ...... The other pie, coming right up, sir.

[Loslote]

Frodo: It's a creeper!

Sam: It's a Ringwraith!

Barliman: It's just Strider.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Butterbur was not sure if this was the right place to test out Frodo's jet-pack...

[SamwiseGamgee]

Frodo: Strider you say? Hmmm. And just go through with me one more time why he's wearing high heels.

[Inziladun]

"Here you go, Mister Underhill. Compliments of your 'Southern friends' in the corner. They said not to worry if it tastes funny."

[Glirdan]

Butterbur: Oh I am sooooooo sorry, I didn't think you two were...together....

Sam: That's what they all say.....

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Sam: "Wow!"
Barliman: "Yeah, Galadriel really takes seriously
defending her Prancing Pony pole dancing title."

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

David Weatherley: "'Uh oh, here comes Peter. This is the last time I'm going to sneak you two a doner kebab while the cameras are rolling."

[Parmastahir]

Barliman: "Try out these binoculars, Master Underhill. But be careful! You may see more than you wish."

Frodo: "Stop stealing Galadriel's lines!"

[Kuruharan]

Butterbur: What do you think that strange man with the odd metal box is doing..? Its like the box is staring at me with its one eye...

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Butterbur is stopped in his tracks when Bob and Nob start kicking the living heck out of Bill Furney for suggesting that their names were made up as a joke.

[Morthoron]

Butterbur has the sudden, sinking feeling that serving "Nob 'n' Bob Pie" to Frodo may well be considered an act of cannibalism.

[Parmastahir]

Butterbur: "I thought you said, 'Frog without legs.' "

Frodo: "No, I wanted frog's legs."

[Folwren]

Butterbur: You didn't see it? It was like two shiny eyes peering through the window, right at you!

Frodo: There's nothing there, Mr. Butterbur.

Sam: I think he's just trying to scare us with some local ghost story.

[Glirdan]

Frodo: Thank you for letting us stay here again Mr. Butterbur.

Butterbur: NO I WILL NOT MAKE OUT WITH YOU!!! :eek:

Sam: He got into the ale again, didn't he.....

[Oddwen]

Butterbur: You didn't see it? It was like two shiny eyes peering through the window, right at you!

Frodo: There's nothing there, Mr. Butterbur.

Sam: I think he's just trying to scare us with some local ghost story.


Butterbur: And then they will sneak into your rooms, and stab you in your beds! Wooooooo!

Frodo: This is getting annoying. Let's find another establishment.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Butterbur: Oh that? That's the new picture!

http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/walesarts/jrr-tolkien-01.jpg

Tolkien: You silly Gandalf! That's not what I meant by 'uncloaking'.

OR

Tolkien: A tree? Creeping up behind me? Don't be absurd!

[Inziladun]

"If one more person walks by me and yells 'Frodo lives', I'm opening a can of ring a dong dillo on 'em."

[Loslote]

Tolkien: Lord of the Rings 2: Revenge of the Uruk? Don't be ridiculus.

[Morthoron]

"See? If I stand just so, it looks like the tree branch is going in one ear, through my head, and clean out the other ear! Jolly good, eh what?"

[Glirdan]

"I will not discuss with you whether or not Balrog's have wings!"

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Tolkien: Sorry, your idea about talking trees and a lidless eye of fire does not interest me. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to the patent office...

[narfforc]

Tolkien:-So I am asking you to donate just £3 a month to Ent-aid. This will enable old Ents like Bagolard behind me, to get a new electric-wheelchair and throw away those awful crutches.

[Legate of Amon Lanc]

"What did you say you have in that bag? Baggins? Bless me, I would never have thought that you can use information I put in my books to actually track him... ha, ha! So it happens. Well, enjoy, mister Khamul..."

[Parmastahir]

"Well, I would have buttoned up against this unpleasant weather. But I could not find my top button, you see. What's that? You do see? What the devil do you mean by that?"

[Galadriel55]

Tolkien: Don't you argue with me that Entwives still walk freely all over the place!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Wanted For Questioning Over Identity Of "bombadil" Suspect.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

"You should have seen the first draft, man - nothing but girls and weed. But they made me change it, as if hairy midgets would sell better..."

[The Only Real Estel]

"Really, Alan? 'Carlos' is the best name you could come up with?"

[Parmastahir]

We need a new picture! I'll put an Etchasketch image up of Gandalf uncloaking if I don't see one soon!

Please?

[Galadriel55]

We definitely need a new picture!!! I tried to post one, but my computer won't cooperate with me.

[narfforc]

Here is a picture of The Dark Lord painting my cellar black with the light off.















































.

[Morthoron]

Here is a picture of The Dark Lord painting my cellar black with the light off.

Ummm....Gandalf....please tell me that was just your wizard's staff.

[Galadriel55]

"Time to call Smaug in to help, don't you think?"

[Parmastahir]

Artist: "Behold, my latest creation."

Patron (seemingly confused): "What do you call it?"

Artist: "Cow eating grass."

Patron (now confused); "Where's the grass?"

Artist: "The cow ate it all."

Patron (now totally confused): "Where's the cow?"

Artist: "Why would the cow stay around if the grass is all gone?"

(You know we're desperate for a new picture if we start commenting on black!)

[Loslote]

Frodo: Sam! Sam! I can't see!

Sam: Open your eyes.

Frodo: Oh.

[Inziladun]

The Mordor citizenry thought Sauron had taken his idea of a "second Darkness" a little too far.

[Galadriel55]

Meadhros: Maglor, where's the light switch?
Maglor: It's everlasting darkness we're in, dude!

OR

Nob: He's back, sir, he's back!
Butterbur: Oh is he? I'll show 'im!
*goes to his cellar*
Butterbur: And what would you be doing here, Master Sauron?
Sauron: Can't you see?
Butterbur: Er........how???

OR

Frodo (holding the phial of Galadriel): Why isn't this working? It's supposed to light up!
Sam: Maybe we should change the batteries...

OR

Legolas: what happened? Why can't I see the new picture?
Aragorn: You're just getting old, pal!

[Glirdan]

None of the Fellowship thought Gandalf's game of hide and seek in Moria was very fun...

or

Sam: Rosie!! Rosie!! I think I've gone blind!!

Rosie: Take off your blindfold idiot!!

or

Denethor was very confused when the guards turned out the lights on his pyre of doom.

or

Peter Jackson: WHERE ARE ALL MY ACTORS!?

Elijah: We're right here!!

PJ: Where!?

Sean: Right in front of you!!

Ian: I told him that the black screen in FRONT of the actors was a bad idea

[Galadriel55]

Surprisingly, a black screen can have so many hilarious captions!

voice from off stage: Sam? Rosie? *suspiciously* What are you two up to?

[Hookbill the Goomba]

The only known photograph of Radagast the Brown uncloaked...

[Galadriel55]

The only known photograph of Radagast the Brown uncloaked...

How about "the only known photograph of Sauron the Black uncloaked"?

[The Elf-warrior]

The Black Gate of Mordor.

[Galadriel55]

Welcome to Barad Dur! Hope you enjoy the view!

***

Sauron's idea of a perfect day

[narfforc]

The Barad-dur bathroom in a blackout.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Eru wakes up; realises it was all a dream and that he hadn't actually made anything yet.

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Bilbo looks out the window and begins the
original version of his work There and Back Again

"It was a dark and stormy night...

[Morthoron]

Not being able to find the door knob ensured Morgoth would never open the door of eternal night.

[Mänwe]

'The Barrow-Downs'......hacked

[Galadriel55]

http://www.theonering.com/images/medialibrary/pippinmerry011128a.jpg

Merry: Not Gandalf uncloaking again!
Pippin: Forget uncloaking! LOOK AT HIS BOOTS!!!

Strider, we know we're supposed to hide, but we weren't expecting to be camouflaged to this point!

Operation "hobbits-->orcs" in process!

Merry and Pippin have a staring contest with the Party Tree.
Unfortunately, Glaurung thought that the stares were meant for him.

Frodo thought that his friends' hair looked better when they used the old shampoo.

Which one is Bil Ferny and which is the Southener?

Merry and Pippin decided to surprise Sam on his birthday and dress up as orcs. What a shock it's been for them when they found out that Sam, wanting to surprise them, dressed up as a Balrog! - "Would've been better with wings on," - states Pippin.

*Edit: HURRAY!!! it worked! The image shows up!*

[Inziladun]

Farmer Maggot's latest attempt to protect his crops involved laying minefields.

[Glirdan]

*Mike the TV Announcer: Tired of looking like this? Then come on down to Isengard where we got the best anti-aging cream around!! Lowest price and best around for 99 99 99!!!

or

Merry: I knew we shouldn't have mixed the Ent Draught with the Southfarthing Weed.....

*For anybody who does not recognize that, I totall stole the Mike and 99 99 99 from Reboot the cartoon...

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Sadly, Merry and Pippin's chimneysweep business
failed after they indulged once too often in
Treebeard's water elexir.

[Galadriel55]

...and then they saw a scene that made their hair stand up...

[Galadriel55]

The Balrog wasn't impressed about Pippin's remark that its wings look fake.

[Parmastahir]

Pippin: "This myth is confirmed. Troll farts are combustible!"

Merry: "I'd say 'I told you so' if only I wished I had not told you so!"

[Galadriel55]

Pippin & Merry: Whatcha laughing at? Huh? huh? What's so funny? Laughing at me, eh? :D

[Galadriel55]

Merry: Bilbo, we're so sorry, we lost the tickets to your party...
Bilbo: That's all right, lads! That shouldn't cause much problems: I accept lost tickets as well!
Pippin: :eek::eek::eek:

[Beregond]

After discovering ent draught came in pints, Merry and Pippin started to become positively tree-ish.

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Peter Jackson tried to compensate for the lack of black protagonists in LotR by giving Merry and Pippin afros and poor hygiene.

Not only was the idea poorly executed, but it was also a bit racist.

[Galadriel55]

Pippin: Merry, you fool of a Brandybuck!!! Why did you make the palantir explode?!?!?! We didn't finish watching the show!:mad:

And another one for Mythbusters:
"Myth busted! Smaug is still alive!"

[Parmastahir]

Joined at the hair!

[Parmastahir]

After a solid week of smoking Longbottom leaf . . .

Pippin: "I've got the munchies!"

Merry: "I could go for some chocolate covered Lembas!"

Pippin: "If you're buyin', I'm flyin'."

Merry: "I think you're already flyin'!"

[narfforc]

Pippin:- You picked the wrong one, it was ANGB...

Merry:- What!, it came from ANGBAND?

Pippin:- No...it was just BANG out of order!

[Parmastahir]

Pippin: "Do you know us?"

Merry: "We couldn't get a room at the Prancing Pony without being attacked by Black Riders."

Pippin: "So now we carry the Middle-earth Express card."

Merry: "Whether it's a pint at the Green Dragon or a night at a Minas Tirith, we're covered."

Pippin: "I'll say you're covered! What's that all over you?"

Merry: "It's carbon black from a Balrog. But no worries. I'll charge a hot bath on my MeX card!"

Pippin/Merry: "Don't leave The Shire without it!"

[Galadriel55]

I have a feeling that we need a new picture...

http://www.cinemasight.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/112447__jackson_l.jpg

Turn around, PJ! The characters you insulted are here to get revenge! :D

[Mithalwen]

PJ "Who says I have no respect for Professor Tolkien's work? It's not true - I have this much respect for Professor Tolkien's work..."

[Evisse the Blue]

'This is how much I plan to stick by the Hobbit book'

[Inziladun]

"Gimme five, Orlando! That shield-surfing scene got us an extra million. Do another take with your shirt off and we'll really clean up!"

[Pitchwife]

"Spear shall be shaken, shield be splintered, a sword-day, a red day, ere the sun rises? - Forget it; I'm out!"

[Mithalwen]

Peter Jackson struggles with perspective "Small ..... far awaaaaaaaaaay"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=25N-4zrk390 (0.30)

[FeRaL sHaDoW]

Pj: Hold Your Lineeeeessssss

[mormegil]

Just a pinch of that pipe weed please.

[Mithalwen]

As they prepare to film the ride of the Rohirrim, PJ takes time out to play a game of Giant Invisible Darts.

[Rikae]

PJ: "Not everyone deserves to have their head crushed, just 99.99999% of them."

[Galadriel55]

PJ: What d'ya mean, the army's not here? what am I seeing, then? So you're saying I'm halucinating?! Don't be absurd - I only drank that much yesterday!

***

As Faramir, Elrond, and other characters that were ruined in the movie point their weapons at PJ, he raises one hand. The other he keeps in his bag. When he is told to show what he's hiding, he says:
"If you want it - come and claim it!"
Glorfindel smirks in a satisfied way: "Now that horse-thief had her role stolen too!"

[Parmastahir]

. . . that the Witch-King of Angmar wore glasses?

W-K of A: "I care this much for that prophecy! Whaaa??? OUCH!"

[Parmastahir]

"Hello orc legions! Let me introduce tonight's group: Théoden and the Thundering Éoreds! Hit it, boys!!"

[Parmastahir]

"One . . . two . . . three . . . RED LIGHT! OK, Éomer, I saw you. Go back to the start!"

[Tuor in Gondolin]

As the Rohirrim leapt forward in their irrisistable charge at
PJ a full throated chant sprang from everyone's lips:

UNION! UNION! UNION!

[Galadriel55]

http://www.the-reel-mccoy.com/movies/2002/images/TheTwoTowers_AragornAndEowyn.jpg

Aragorn: Eowyn, I need to confess something to you.

Eowyn: What is it, darling?

Aragorn: You're my sister.

Eowyn: Aragorn, how much did you drink yesterday?

~*~

Aragorn: One moment, Eowyn, please... I have an emergency business...

~*~

Eowyn: Aragorn, I'm not coming close to you until you take a proper bath!

~*~

Eowyn: What's wrong, dear?

Aragorn: I miss my mommy! *breaks out crying*

~*~

Aragorn: Say one more word about coming with me and meeting your death, and I'm going to chop you into pieces myself!

Eowyn: Fine, then!Be like that!

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Eowyn: Isn't everyone here phony?
Aragorn: So what's youtr sign? Btw, do you
realize in a few thousand years all of the zodiac
will move up and by the 6th or 7th Age everyone
will raed their wrong fortune.

[Inziladun]

Aragorn suddenly realised wearing expensive Imladris-made boots was a bad idea in "horse country".

[Glirdan]

Aragron looked away in dismay.....how had he failed to notice the horses head growing out of Eowyn's head!?

[Loslote]

Eowyn: Does this dress make me look fat? ... why aren't you answering? Aragorn?!

[narfforc]

Eowyn: Why the long face?

Winfola: I was born this way, what's laughing boy's excuse!

[Galadriel55]

Eowyn: You take your hand off that sword, or I'm calling my big brother over, and he'll twist your head off!

~*~

Eowyn: Aragon, darling, you're my life! Honey, please say that you love me! I'll go mad without you! Oh, please, sweetheart!

Aragorn: Eowyn, do you realise that there is a man right behind you taking in every word of your confession?

Eowyn: *stares blankly* You jerk! You idiot! Why didn't you tell me before I started?

[Boromir88]

Eowyn: What's he got in his pocketses, precious?

Aragorn: ...just when I thought that could not get anymore disturbing hearing it from Gollum.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Eowyn: Hey, Moose face, shave your beard!

Aragorn: Your attempts to get my attention are getting weirder...

Eowyn: I was talking to the horse.

Aragorn: ... I think my previous statement stands.

[Formendacil]

The discovery in conversation that Éowyn was also a woman, and thus that Arwen was not the last of that kind, had Aragorn greatly confused.

[Glirdan]

Eowyn finally revealed the truth to Aragor about his love Arwen: that she was a no good, horse stealing diva who only wanted the spotlight and thus cutting a character out of the movies.

Aragorn was not impressed. He thought he covered Arwen's tracks rather well.

[Parmastahir]

Éowyn: "My Lord, is that a sword in your hand or are you just happy to see me?"

Aragorn: "It is my sword, and you've been hanging out with Grìma Wormtongue for too long!"

[Parmastahir]

Rider coming up behind: "Look, you two. You know the rules of the road. Walk on the right. Ride on the left."

Éowyn: "Don't mind him, my Lord. I am Théoden's cousin's friend's brother's twin once removed on my maternal grandmother's side! I can do as I please!"

Aragorn: "You mean Théoden's sister-daughter."

Éowyn: "Whatever! I'm not a Holbytla!"

[Parmastahir]

Aragorn: "Please take your hand off my butt. I am promised to another!"

Éowyn: "Why didn't you tell me that a half-hour ago?"

Aragorn: "Ummm . . ."

[Parmastahir]

Éowyn: "I have received a message from Arwen. She has changed her mind about you and is leaving for the Grey Havens immediately!"

Aragorn: "In that case, how about a date?"

Éowyn: "April Fool!"

Aragorn: "Don't I feel like one?! How about that date?"

[Meela]

Aragorn was beginning to harbour suspicions about his devoted new stable boy, 'Bob'.

[Galadriel55]

"I'd prefer to ride," said Aragorn after Eowyn stepped on his sore toe.

[Galadriel55]

Eowyn: What is it?
Aragorn: It's, um, Gandalf... and he's uncloaking again!

***

A realization struck Aragorn like a thunderbolt: Balrogs indeed do not have wings. This was the most disappointing thing that Eowyn has ever heard from him.

[Parmastahir]

. . . or under the cloak!

Eowyn: What is it?
Aragorn: It's, um, Gandalf... and he's uncloaking again! That's usually his way of telling us it's time for a new photograph!

[Galadriel55]

Eowyn: What is it?
Aragorn: It's, um, Gandalf... and he's uncloaking again! That's usually his way of telling us it's time for a new photograph!
Grima: I told you that wizard is up to no good!


http://www.thiefsden.net/archives/grima.jpg

[Inziladun]

"You'd just as soon kiss an orc? That can be arranged!"

[Meela]

They say love is blind, but even Grima was hard-pressed to overlook that enormous zit...

~ ~ ~

Elsewhere, staff at the Edoras branch of Madame Tussauds were puzzling over who could possibly have stolen their Eowyn waxwork.

[Pitchwife]

"You think I'm weird? You should have seen me in Myst III!"

[Oddwen]

Grima: From hell's heart, I spit at thee!

Eowyn: Eeeeek!

Or...

Grima: Maybe I'm not the man you always dreamed about...but I think we both know I'm training to become a cage fighter.

[Loslote]

Grima, trying to perfect his hypnotism, does not realize that Eowyn fell asleep out of boredom, not obedience.

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Grima: Does this bug you? I'm not touching you.
Does this bug you?

Eowyn: Eomer, get in here. Grima's been at the mead cask again!

[Galadriel55]

Grima: Did you just call this picture stupid?!

http://img-fan.theonering.net/rolozo/images/herring/barrow.jpg

Frodo really wanted to become the fourth Musquetteer.

***

Frodo was distracted from his battle with the Hand when he realized that all 3 of his companions are girls.

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Wake up guys! The King of the Green Slime from PJ's movie
is back. And this time I think he's one of the bad guys.

[Mithalwen]

Frodo's nailbar didn't get off to a good start. Not only did he amputate the Hulk's hand but it was the first manicure with a three hundred percent mortality rate.

[Galadriel55]

Frodo's temper flared when he asked himself: why didn't the hand give him any jewelry?!

[Inziladun]

His attempt to mind-meld with the Wight unsuccessful, Frodo decided to try a Force Push.

[Galadriel55]

Having suddenly realised that the object in his hand was not the phial, Frodo didn't lose his wits. "Hold on a second," he said to the aggressor, "Pause game while I go get something."

***In the same spirit***

Frodo: just give me a second, please! Who can fight with an unbuttoned vest?

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Frodo's companions were highly embarrassed at his woeful battle-puns; "You won't be so hand-some when I'm through with you!" sent them over the edge and into a coma.

[Inziladun]

Wight: "Don't you tell me to 'talk to the hand!'"

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

"I will hand you to Sauron myself - MWAHAHA!"

- deleted script, The Fellowship of the Ring, P. Jackson.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Frodo instantly regretted his request for a high five. :eek:

[Formendacil]

In finding material to expand The Hobbit into two films, Peter Jackson decided to ponder what it would look like to have Bilbo save Fili, Kili, and Mrs. Balin from the Barrow-wight that lurked in the Trolls' cave.

cue entrance of Tom Bombadil and a rousing Dwarven chorus singing "Old Tom Bombadil is a merry fellow..."

[Galadriel55]

Being a doctor wasn't easy on Frodo. Three patients were already done, and the fourth needed a vaccine in his finger.

[Mithalwen]

Frodo struggled to teach the Wight Scottish Folkdance - Sam Merry and Pippin had been exhausted by the "Dashing White Sergeant" even before the sword dance had gone so horribly wrong -now he was understandably reluctant to try the "Gay Gordons"

[Galadriel55]

Frodo was immensly astounded when the hand-made beautiful statue that he carved himself out of stone came to life and attempted to throttle him.

[narfforc]

Frodo thought that the fight with the hand would be tough....... but didn't think he could beat all of The Addams Family.......

[Galadriel55]

BW was offended when Frodo suggested that there was a better picture around...

http://www.picturesanimations.com/l/lord_of_the_rings/Treebeard.jpg

You want to fight Saruman, my preciousss? :eek:

[Inziladun]

Those who encountered Ent-kwon-do seldom lived to tell of it.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

The hangovers got worse every year.

[Galadriel55]

Pinocchio got bigger in size with every year, and his nose relatively grew longer. Soon he will require the help of a walking stick, but he still didn't become a real boy.

[Kuruharan]

Feeeed me Seymour!

[Parmastahir]

Fangorn was getting really good at playing air cello.

[Morthoron]

Pining for the Ent-wives always presented a knotty problem for Fangorn. So, he would pack his trunk and root about for the lost branch of his family tree.

[narfforc]

A Fourth Age picture of Treebeard runninng away in panic from the great dwarven inventor Axenshovel, who had just created the first chainsaw.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Invisible basket ball was all the rage in Fangorn forest.

[Galadriel55]

It was awkward business climbing the invisible ladder, especially when Treebeard's grip slipped.

(sorry Hookbill)

Why did they have to do that? thought Treebeard as he groped through the flooded ruins of Isengard, cursing the hobbits who played such a trick on him.

After a few weeks of greetings and attendance, Treebeard was trying frantically to remember what was the purpose of this Entmoot.

Treebeard found out the hard way that Rock-n-Roll is not for him.

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Treebeard realizes it will take more then one botox treatment
to again make him a hunk to discerning entwives.

[Galadriel55]

By the time that Treebeard finished counting on his (many) fingers, calculators were already invented.

[Gil-Galad]

The increase of squirrel droppings meant more to Treebeard then Gimli knows, particularly his beard.



I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack

[Thinlómien]

I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaackGreat to see you back, Gil. :D Now, what about some werewolf (http://forum.barrowdowns.com/showthread.php?t=17146)? ;)

And uh, do I need to do a caption now? Let's see...

Gymnastics in the Entish style.

[Galadriel55]

Treebeard: For how many years do I still need to stay in this pose? My limbs are getting a bit stiff.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

It took Treebeard several months to work out that Saruman had stolen his Palantir.

[Galadriel55]

Someone broke Treebeard's nose. By the time he decided on revenge, it grew back.

***

As a punishment for his disobedience, the Valar turned Saruman into an Ent.

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Even Treebeard thinks nail-polish takes a ridiculous amount of time drying.

[Mithalwen]

Treebeard regrets proving that Ents are not bendable.

[Galadriel55]

Treebeard concentrated so hard and for so long on lifting up his knee that leaves started sprouting from the back of his head. Fimbrethil said it was his treeish brain pouring out.

[Galadriel55]

Treebeard's old bones had troube keeping up with Mr. Disco King. :cool:

[Parmastahir]

When Fangorn awoke after a long night of drinking Entdraughts, he found an indecipherable tattoo on his leg: 2 /// - A.

[Kitanna]

Treebeard investigates his foot after stepping on the Lorax. The Ents didn't need him to speak for them anyway.

[narfforc]

I wood knot be so grumpy if you people wood leaf me alone and stop taking photo's of me......................

[Parmastahir]

Fangorn: "Now where is that new photo? I thought I had it right here!"

[Galadriel55]

Fangorn: "Now where is that new photo? I thought I had it right here!"

Do not be so hasty! ;) :D

For a lack of a better picture:

http://img1.jurko.net/wall/paper/rotk_gandalf_1280.jpg

That sword is blowing away!!!


EDIT: sorry about the size.

[Kuruharan]

Gandalf: GAH! Who put that logo there?!

(has it really been that long since RoTK came out..? :eek:)

[Pitchwife]

Gandalf: "What happened to the Wilkinson logo that should be there?"

or: "Glamdring - shaving beards since the First Age"

[Inziladun]

"0-2 the count, Witch-king looks to 3rd, fires the inside curve...."

[Galadriel55]

Gandalf held tightly to his balloon - his only hope - after Gwaihir decided to let him go.

[Kitanna]

"My goodness Pippin! This is no time for clog dancing!"

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

It was damn poor timing and quite surprising, but just as the battle was about to commence Gandalf discovered his knuckles to be an erogenous zone.

[Galadriel55]

Gandalf could only stare when the wingless Balrog began to fly.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

No luck to those who picked Gandalf in their Phantasy Football Team, as he is about to get a blatant red card for decapitation!

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Gandalf searches for the fool who started the uncloaking joke.

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Gandalf returns with vengeance to the avantgarde restaurant that made him lick caramelized rice pudding out of the armpit of a depressed carpenter from Bree.

[Galadriel55]

"Preciousss!!!" cries Smeagol as Gandalf prepairs to hack through the writing: "Lord Of The Rings. The Return of the King. The Journey Continued."

[Inziladun]

In desperation, Gandalf prepares a last ditch effort to break through the Fourth Wall and escape the film.

[The Elf-warrior]

Gandalf hates disco.

[Glirdan]

Gandalf: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! I WANT TO CUT THE CAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Oddwen]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v58/Oddwen/stupidlook.jpg

Gimli: Hey Legolas, look out!

Legolas: Derrrr?

Gimli: Look out!! You're about to be crushed by.....oh. Too late. Nevermind.


Or...


Gimli: Quick, Legolas! What is two plus two!



Or...


Gimli: Hey, Legolas! Do Balrogs have wings?


Or...


Legolas watches quizzically as Gimli performs the Dwarvish victory dance on the body of one of his enemies.

[Galadriel55]

Legolas' expression illustrated his uttermost shock at seeing his dear trusted companion, Gandalf the Grey, Uncloaked...

I'm sorry, I couldn't help it.

[Inziladun]

"Don't hate me cos I'm beautiful!"

[Galadriel55]

Argorn: What do your elven eyes see?

Legolas: *eyeballs him* A dirty old stinking man who... oops.

***

Legolas: I'm sorry, Fellowship, but I cannot continue with you into Moria! I forgot my best body lotion in Rivendell!

***

Celeborn: Welcome, prince of Mirkwood! You're ugly.

Legolas: Bu...bu... bu... *wails*

***

Gimli: They're taking the hobbits to Isengard!

Legolas: Hey, that's MY line!

Gimli: But that doesn't change the situation. They're taking the hobbits to Isengard!

[mormegil]

Orlando: I'm sorry, you want me to what?

PJ: I want you to surf down the oliphants trunk, the teenage girl demographic will love it.

Orlando: Seriously?

PJ: Of course.

[Galadriel55]

Legolas prepares to flee from the oncoming wave of fangirls.

[Inziladun]

Voiceover: "Legolas Greenleaf uses Nimrodel������™ brand conditioner. You should too!"

[Bom Tombadillo]

"What do you mean, 'look behind you?'"

[narfforc]

Peter Jackson off camera..''Try and keep the costume clean this time Orlando, we need it when you play Legolas in The Hobbit''

Legolas Bloom..''But he isn't in The Hobbit''

Pider Jigson...''Shhhh we don't want that to get out, Phillipa get Cate and Sir Christopher on the phone''.

[The Might]

Dumbledore dies? :(

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Discussing nhis relationship to PJ as a director:

"I cannot work with that man. He simply drains me."

[Galadriel55]

Orlando Greenleaf: "'The Eagles are comming'? But that's not my line; it's Bilbo's."

PJ: "That doesn't matter. We need someone to play Captain Obvious in TH."

[FeRaL sHaDoW]

Gimli: Now Legolas I don’t want to scare you but there may or may not be a giraffe trying to sneak up behind you....

Or

Legolas realises they could have ridden the eagles from the start.

[Mithalwen]

When Botox goes bad.....

Legolas tries to work out his share of the bill without using his fingers...

The wind changed and he did stick like it.....

[narfforc]

.. Spider Elf...Spider Elf kills a Mumakil all by himself. Flies through air, with perfect ease, like a swarm of drunken bees....LOOK OUT ..here comes the Spider Elf.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Dumbledore dies? :(

:D

Yeah, it's a perfect expression. How about:

Gimli got a payrise? But...

[luthien-elvenprincess]

That's how dwarfs procreate!

[Galadriel55]

"Wait... I was supposed to be playing a guy?!"

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

The rest of the guys have gone to a disco? But...

[Galadriel55]

Legolas feels the snow give way under him...

____

"No way! I'm not doing the wave for that loser!"

[Galadriel55]

Gimli: "Legolas! You have first watch!"

Legolas: "...Why me...?" :rolleyes:

~~~

Gandalf: "You fool of a Took! This is not a hobbit walking party! Next time you feel bored go bother Legolas!"

~~~

Aragorn: "What happened to your sight? Did you fall asleep on watch? Crebain are flying all over the place, and you didn't wake me up as I asked you!"

Legolas: "Crebain? I thought they were black butterflies!"

~~~

Aragorn: "Legolas! Can you see what's waiting for us there?"

Legolas: "I...see...GRAVE....DANGER....."

[Inziladun]

"Right, Orlando. You're to jump on Gandalf's head, step to Gimli's upper lip, leap onto Théoden's back, then slide down the wall while shooting arrows and carrying that catapult on your back".

[Galadriel55]

Who's Legolas?

[Oddwen]

Who's Orlando Bloom?

[Galadriel55]

"Pippin?! Sheesh, how many ent-draughts did you have?"

[Oddwen]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v58/Oddwen/wormtongueopera.jpg

And as Grima approached the highest C, the cracks in the walls began to lengthen, the wolves howled ever louder, and Saruman dropped to his knees as the palantir shattered into powder.

Or...

Grima: Haaaaaaaaappy meal.

Or...

Saruman: Hey Grima, what is your favorite vowel?

Grima: AAAAAAAAAAAA

Or...

Gargling with tequila is an important part of Wormtongue's morning hygiene. Okay, the only part of his morning hygiene. Okay, okay, his only attempts at hygiene.

[Inziladun]

"Hey, Éowyn, is there something stuck in my teeth?"

Or....

Gríma hadn't known the King was using Éowyn's bath chamber that day.

[Galadriel55]

Headline:

Phantom of the Opera! ONLY TODAY! Grima Wormtongue preforming.

[Kitanna]

"Ooooooooklahoma, where the winds come sweepin' down the plain."

[The Elf-warrior]

"And the Nazgûl come in the niiiiight!"

[Parmastahir]

Doctor: "OK, open your mouth and say 'ahhh.' "

Grima opens his mouth.

Doctor: "OK, now say 'ahhh."

Grima: "I can't say 'ahhh.' "

Doctor: "But you just did."

Grima: "Did what?

Doctor: "Said 'ahhh.' "

Grima: "I can't say 'ahhh.' "

[Galadriel55]

Eomer (behind Grima's back): "Boo!"

or

Grima sits on a cactus.

[Galadriel55]

History teacher: now who can tell me, why was Wormtongue so unpopular?

Students: Because he promised to sing an aria to any one who supported him!

[Galadriel55]

Grima sees the 13716th post of this thread.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Grima sees the 13716th post of this thread.

:D

Grima expresses frustration with the admin of acquiring an escort online.

[Galadriel55]

"That fool Hama betrayed us! I told him to take Gandalf's staff, but instead he took his cloak!" :eek::D

[Parmastahir]

that I wish I had said it! Well played, Galadriel!

[Galadriel55]

Gold!!!!!!

http://images.wikia.com/lotr/images/4/42/Smaug.jpg

Poor Smaug was so concerned about his hoard that he didn't even dare to go outside to eat! Look at how thin he got!

[Inziladun]

To catch garden-loving hobbits, Smaug's tail deployed a special lure (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Lotus_alpinus01.jpg).

[Galadriel55]

New dwarven invention: teapot in the shape of a dragon...

[Pitchwife]

Smaug: "I like a good smoke myself, Bilbo, but don't you think you're overdoing it a bit?"

[Galadriel55]

Smaug openly supports les Québécoises (http://www.flagnetworks.com/uploads/6/2/5/6/6256523/354493_orig.jpg)

[Pitchwife]

Bilbo was awed to discover that Smaug was an honorary citizen of Florence (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:FlorenceCoA.svg).

[Galadriel55]

Smaug: "My armour is like tenfold shields, my teeth are swords, my claws spears, the shock of my tail a thunderbolt..."

Bilbo: "What?! That thin, flimsy tail? No way!"

[Inziladun]

Bilbo learned retrieving a lost contact lens was even more difficult with invisible hands.

[Galadriel55]

Bilbo: "Look at the Worm!"

Smaug: "I'm no worm, I'm a dragon!"

Bilbo: "Same thing!"

Smaug: "No, dragons are huge lizzards, not worms." *sticks tongue out for proof*

Bilbo: "Stop sticking your tongue at me, Worm!"

Smaug: "I'm not a worm, I'm a dragon!"

[Parmastahir]

Smaug: "I may not be able to see you, thief. But I can smell you . . . Phew! What did you have for dinner?"

Bilbo: "Drat those dwarven beans!"

[narfforc]

Smaug: Well whilst you are here Barrel-rider, could you help me find my lucky Penny?

[FeRaL sHaDoW]

Smaug impersonates Snoop dogs in his latest rap video.

[Galadriel55]

Bilbo's presence makes Smaug's blood boil.

[Oddwen]

What poor Bilbo didn't realize is that you're not invisible if you're ON FIRE!!!

[Lalwendë]

Things had got really desperate in the battle to save the Eurozone.

[Galadriel55]

Smaug sneezes.

[Lalwendë]

Episodes of Dragons' Den are so much more exciting in Middle-earth.

[Lalwendë]

http://taylorhits.com/newsletter/Foto-Blog/TheHobbit-Trailer1.jpg

"You would look lovely with a fringe."

[Estelyn Telcontar]

"You've let down your hair; now would you uncloak for me?"

[Inziladun]

What happens in Rivendell stays in Rivendell.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Galadriel: Now, Gandalf, I don't want you to tell Bilbo about our little time together.
Gandalf: Of course not.
Galadriel: Good. Because I don't want this to show up in his book.
Gandalf: Impossible!
Galadriel: Or a film about his book.
Gandalf: ... um...

[Lalwendë]

"Hang on, there's a little bit of Lembas in your beard."

[Galadriel55]

"It's still not as long as Celeborn's."

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Galadriel: So, tell me... When will you regenerate into Radagast?

Gandalf: I think you've completely misunderstood two completely different mythologies.

Galadriel: Shut up, Magneto!!

[Galadriel55]

Gandalf: is it a strand of hair you're looking for?

[Oddwen]

Gandalf: is it a strand of hair you're looking for?

Galadriel: Tee hee! Don't tell anyone, but I'm going to give Gimli the dwarf three strands of your hair and say they're mine! Tee hee!

Or...

Galadriel: Are these....ewwwww, they are! They're nose hairs!

[Lalwendë]

The first time Galadriel used her mirror in 3,472 years, she had a bit of a nasty surprise.

[narfforc]

Galadriel:- You somehow look older Gandalf, how can this be?

Gandalf:- Wizards are never old.....erm...uh.. they just age differently...

Pider Jackson:- Cut!


From the forthcoming film by One Wrong.com and Few Lines Cinema.... The Hobbit There or Thereabouts and The Question of Errorbore.

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Do not meddle with the beards of wizards, for they are sticky and quick to tangle.

[Galadriel55]

Galadriel: Gandalf! What happened to your eyebrows?!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Galadriel: Gandalf! What happened to your eyebrows?!

Gandalf: Some bloke with a blue box and a bow tie tried to steal them.

[Galadriel55]

"And just why did you draw those bad guys?"

http://tolkiengateway.net/w/images/thumb/b/b7/Ted_Nasmith_-_Transformed.jpg/250px-Ted_Nasmith_-_Transformed.jpg

Werewolf games are officially replaced by Werebat games.

Thuringwethil leads the FA feminist movement against the anti-feminist Draugluin. She is extremely successful.

[Inziladun]

Beren learns that calling a woman "old bat" is unwise, no matter the circumstance.

[Galadriel55]

Beren was horrified to hear the changes in Luthien's voice when they came out of Thuringwethil's voicebox.

[Lalwendë]

This year, some of the outfits worn by those attending Whitby Goth Weekend were more extreme than ever.

[Galadriel55]

Beren didn't believe Luthien was serious about hitting him with a bat if he brings up the topic of sending her back to Doriath again.

[Lalwendë]

Today, under the thirty year rule, top secret Government documents were released for the first time. The most shocking of these reveals the mayhem that overtook the BBC TV Centre when John Noakes inadvertently transmitted the rabies virus to the Blue Peter pets. Petra was last seen being chased by a transmogrified Valerie Singleton in the form of a vampire bat through the Italian Sunken Garden as the whole complex was plunged into darkness when a crazed Peter Purves chewed his way through the power cables.