Crazy Captions

[mormegil]

Grima and Theoden just read mormegil's most recent post in CC

or

Gimli and Legolas perform a moving ballet duet

(Hookbill if you could photoshop Gimli in a pink tutu, that would be great)

or

Bernard and Brad just got done watching the 'Arwen scenes' from the movie.

[mormegil]

or...

Bernanrd and Brad just watched the Faramir scene...

PJ: So guys, what do you think of my artistic lisence?

[Lalwendë]

Theoden: "Could I borrow some of your Just For Men?"

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Theoden: Okay, here's the plan. We get Gollum,
dig up Thorin Oakenshield and start a
Grateful Dead Reunion Tour.

Grima: I like it, boss. We'll be headliners at
the Minas Tirith Bowl! Right in front of that dead tree.

[Lalwendë]

Theoden is mad because he can't see a new picture!

http://www.theargonath.cc/characters/bilbo/pictures/bilbo7.jpg

Bilbo Jones's Diary - The Edge of Wilderland.

Weight: 135lbs
Smokes: 7 pipes of Longbottom Leaf
Alcohol: 8 pints
Calories: 3,472

Cannot believe I am sitting in the Rivendell garden again. Frodo still not turned up. Gandalf not written. When is Elrond going to stop all that tra-la-lallying? So embarrassing...

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Bilbo attempts to hide from the Elves the fact that he, despite his complaints, actually likes reading "Tra-la-la-lally Monthly"...

OR

After Gandalf makes his seventh 'short' joke of the day, Bilbo moves him up in the 'To Kill' list.

[Lalwendë]

Bilbo consults Ye Big Book Of Rhyme to find something racier than 'valley' to rhyme with ruddy Tra-la-la-lally.

[Eönwë]

Bilbo tries to remember what he wrote in his book

or

Bilbo: Who's that man on the left? *Narrows eyes*

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Bilbo realises that, in a drunken stupor, he had drawn rather unflattering pictures of the Dwarves wearing swim suits. "My psychiatrist is going to have a feild day" he thought...

OR

Doing Elrond's Tax returns was tiresome;

Bilbo: For the last time! Shampoo is NOT tax deductible! It is not a 'work expense'!

Elrond: YES IT IS!

[Lalwendë]

Bilbo was a bit disappointed that Elrond had furnished him with an Elf-sized notebook and an Ent-sized pencil.

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Bilbo was an inventer of sorts, here he has just completed Ardas biggest mousetrap ever!

or

Bilbo was not amused when the flesh eating book ate his arm

or

Bilbo just discovered the new entrance to Narnia

[narfforc]

For the umpteenth time Bilbo rewrites The Rid Book of Wastemuch, in the vain attempt to make it fit Peter Jacksons storyline.

[Oddwen]

Bilbo: Just...three more pages then...my Paper Telephone sentence will be finished...

[Naz]

Bilbo (reading): "In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit." Wait a minute.....

*Bilbo begins to doubt the privacy of Bag End*

[Lalwendë]

Bilbo unconsciously practices his Vulcan hand signal while he reads his Star Trek 1392 Annual.

[narfforc]

Bilbo reads for the very first time, his new autobiography. Lots of things crossed out and new lines in pencil can only mean, this is the script for the two films about his life, to be called The Hobbit, There or Thereabouts, and The The Quest of Errormore.

[Legate of Amon Lanc]

The senility slowly takes its toll. Is the attempt to finish writing the memoirs going to be succesful?
"...and so he appeared amidst the surprised Dwarves. 'Ash is a robot!' they shouted..."

[Groin Redbeard]

When I see this I'm reminded of something Hookbill said: "Hitler didn't read. Are you Hitler?" Obviously Bilbo is trying extra hard not too. ;)

[Boromir88]

Bilbo discovers the Big Book of Secrets Elrond has been hiding. Balrog's have wings? I would never have guessed.

or...

Bilbo's final journey...raiding Arwen's room and stealing her diary.

[Bêthberry]

Bilbo appears as an aged John McCain at the Sarah Palin Daughters of the Alaskan Independence Day Disco Ball Dance.

[Lalwendë]

Secrets of Middle-earth No. 521

The pages from the Book of Mazarbul were inserted into the Red Book of Westmarch to replace a few grimy, well-thumbed pages torn from the underwear section of the Autumn/Winter 3011 edition of the Gap of Rohan catalogue.

[TheGreatElvenWarrior]

Bilbo: Writing utensil, check.
Something to write on, check.
Some sort of adventure to turn into a story? Umm... Not check...

[Lalwendë]

As Bilbo spots a nice shower curtain for only £14.99, he reflects on how you could tell Elrond was pretentious because he kept his Argos catalogue in a faux leather binder.

[The Only Real Estel]

"Dear Diary: Today I ripped another sleeve godawfully on one of Elrond's 'tasteful' decorations. I'm not sure which is worse, the ruining of an expensive garment or the glare I caught from him out from under those menacing eyebrows..."

[Mithalwen]

Bilbo's final journey...raiding Arwen's room and stealing her diary.

And her pashmina.....

[Lalwendë]

Bilbo: "I don't know how many times I've read this story by Tolkien but I could do with something new from the library."

New pic time!

http://www.theargonath.cc/pictures/merrypippin/merrypippin17.jpg

As they are banished to the kitchen to do the washing up and the steam makes their make up run, Merry and Pippin reflect on how coming to the party as the black and white minstrels didn't go down too well.

[Legate of Amon Lanc]

Merry: 'Ya, sir, we're here with the coal. Where should we put it, sir?

OR

"Sorry for interrupting your little party, guys, but could any of you help me? It won't take long, I hope. My car just broke up there on the road and I need somebody help me to fix it."

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Merry: Urm... Pippin... Did you use that bottle we stole from Gandalf to wash those dishes?

Pippin: Um... Why do you ask?

Merry: It's just... The dishes seem to be floating and talking to one another.

Pippin: What, again?

[Oddwen]

Gandalf: I give you full marks for bravery, Peregrin Took. Don't make yourself to be a fool.

Pippin: Ah, but how will you capture us? We know the secrets of the fire swamp. We can live there quite happily for some time, so whenever you feel like DYING, feel free to visit.

Merry: Huh?

[Lalwendë]

Merry realises with dawning horror that Frodo has been playing tricks swapping his toiletries with black soap from the joke shop again.

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Merry: "So tell me again why we're chimneysweeps
when there aren't any chimneys in the Shire."

Pippin: "Dick van Dyke said it would be a good way
to get into Hollywood movies since our accents just
aren't as realistic as his."

[The Only Real Estel]

Rejects from tryouts for the role of 'Bert' were given spots on the dish team in the kitchen instead.


*Thought that when I read it & then scrolled down to see Tuor already hit upon the Poppins them :eek: Oh well*

[Hookbill the Goomba]

As Pippin talks to the tiny goblin living in the jug, Merry calls for a Doctor*.

OR

Merry watches as Gandalf's hat floats away...

*Probably Colin Baker

[Formendacil]

Halfway through the night shift, and only one more incident with the boss away from being fired, Merry remembers that he forgot to turn off his oven.

[narfforc]

"I don't feel well after that last explosion", said Merry to Pippin.
"Well, to tell you the truth Merry, you do look a bit light-headed", replied his friend.

[Lalwendë]

Secrets of Middle-earth No.72.5

The original reason Gandalf was interested in Hobbits was because Elrond had run out of small children to send up his sooty chimneys.

[Naz]

As Pippin talks to the tiny goblin living in the jug, Merry calls for a Doctor*.

*Probably Colin Baker


:D Old school Who, ahoy!

Merry is practicing for his big recital while Pippin slaves away at the dishes.

Pippin: Oi, la Carlotta! I could use a little help here!
Merry: I'm warming up my voice!

[THE Ka]

Merry: Oh poor Pippin... Don't look now but here's another dinner rush and they've got coupons!

Pippin: Say that again and this mug is going straight up your tush.

or....


Pippin could only sigh as the encroaching mass of impatient and hungry dinner rush hobbits slowly decended on Merry's first night on the job.

or....

Merry: "It's the hard knock life, for us..."

Gandalf: Quite down over there! I asked for drudgery, not a musical!

~ Ka

[Lalwendë]

Merry sings: " Cause I'm filthy! Ooh, and you're gorgeous!"

Pippin: "Shurrup! You're tone deaf! Time for a new pic!"

http://www.theargonath.cc/pictures/miscrotk/miscrotk13.jpg

Secrets of Middle-earth No.172

The real reason Smeagol wanted the Ring was so that he could be in The Jonas Brothers like his cousin Deagol.

[Groin Redbeard]

Deagol: Hmm... It looks like there's something written on the side here. This would be a whole lot easier if I wasn't cross-eyed!

Smeagol: Chocolate ring, yumm.

[the phantom]

Deagol: By Eru! I've never seen anything like it!
Smeagol: It's a ring, idiot.
Deagol: But it's so shiny!
Smeagol: It's wet.
Deagol: And I have this sudden urge to be evil!
Smeagol: ....
Deagol: I bet it's valuable.
Smeagol: Er... it's my birthday.

[Formendacil]

Déagol and Sméagol stare in aware at the golden egg laid by Déagol's goose.

Déagol: "But it's so small!"

[The Elf-warrior]

Deagol: "It's says here that I may be a winner."

[The Only Real Estel]

Deagol held in his hand one of the hardest earned & most sought-after things in all of Middle-Earth: the inside filling of an Oreo, after having carefully scraped it off of the two halves of cookie, preserving it's beautiful shape in all its glory.

[Oddwen]

Voice Offscreen: Mawwiage. Mawwiage is wot bwings us togevah, that bwessed awwangement, that dweam wivvin a dweam. Do you haff the wing?

[FeRaL sHaDoW]

Smeagol tries to tell Deagol that the ring is not actually talking and that it is all in his head. However Deagol is not convinced as another string on insults is directed at him by the talking ring.

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Deagol: "Wow! You found this in a box of
what kind of cereal?"

[Lalwendë]

Smeagol: "Why are you getting so excited? I'll bet it came out of the Argos catalogue and turns your finger green!"

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Smeagol attempts to make Deagol jealous by showing off his invisible dog.

[Naz]

Smeagol is entranced by just how soft Deagol's shirt is, even when wet.

[Lalwendë]

Smeagol: "Why are you so excited? It's only an Icelandic Krona!"

[luthien-elvenprincess]

"Deagol, did that pop-up banner really say "click here for 'Half-off at Harvey's Heavenly House of Halibut"! SWEET! We're goin' tonite!

[Lalwendë]

Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross squabble over their last pound coin.

"We need that to buy a new picture, Wossy!"

"No way Wuss! I've got ewectwicity biwws to pay!"

http://www.theargonath.cc/pictures/tttdvdexp/tttdvdexp2.jpg

Saruman: "Put t'big light on will you?"

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Saruman: For the last time, Wormtonge! I'm not telling you where babies come from.

OR

Saruman: Wormtongue! You've left the fridge open AGAIN!

[Gil-Galad]

Saruman: best. sandwich. ever.

Grima: anyone seen my cat?

Saruman: ... uh oh spaghettios

[Lalwendë]

Saruman: "Don't you dare bring that rubbish dalek model in here if you've stuck the sink plunger on the top again."

[Naz]

Saruman: ... uh oh spaghettios

Saruman saying "Uh oh, Spaghetti-Os" is hilarious.:D

Saruman feels the pressure of preparing for a test.
Saruman: And then Barahir's father was... was....


(nothing witty for Grima though)

[Hookbill the Goomba]

The misty look in the back ground isn't just an effect. Saruman just realized he left the iron on.

[Beanamir of Gondor]

Grima: [walks into room]

Saruman: [hides dolls] Agck! Haven't I ever told you to knock!?

Grima: Sorry, sir!

Saruman: ... Did you see anything?!

Grima: No sir, I didn't see you playing with your dolls, sir!

Saruman: Good!

[Oddwen]

(nothing witty for Grima though)

Grima: Barahir's father was Finduilas.

Saruman: Are you sure?

Grima: Yes. *snicker*

Or...

Saruman: Ah, Worm, there you are. Have you finished my homework yet?

Or...

Grima: My lord, I have grave news. A startling amount of the intercepted pipeweed has gone missing!

Saruman: Shh, I can't talk now! The purple is about to begin!

Or...

Grima: My lord, I require enlightenment; perchance do you know the name of the father of Barahir, elf-friend of old?

Saruman: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

Or...

Saruman: And now, the Lord of the Rings Trilogy is available in widescreen! And-a heeere we go to the right, and-a heeeere we go to the...holy crap! Grima, where did you come from?

Grima: Oh, I'm pretty much always here.

Or...


Saruman: And here, a letter from Legolas...LEgolas...LeGOlas...hmm.

"Dear Saruman: My brothers are always saying that your cloak is made of tape, is this true?"

They say my cloak is made of tape? WHAT? I mean, what do I look like, some sort of tape-cloak to you? I mean, it's kind of iridescent like tape, here look...ohhhh, look here. It's a piece of tape on my cloak. That's must be what they were talking about. I must have rubbed up against my desk or something. My cloak is not made of tape. Pffft! Tape...well, that's all I have for you, Leggy. So until next week, send me some halflings. You know, halflings? Hey, The Grima! Let's go down to the Uruk pen and like, poke 'em with sticks or something.

The Grima: *The Grima noises*

Or...

Grima: My lord, the Grey Wizard seems to have escaped.

Saruman: Inconceivable!

Or...

Grima: My lord, I think I might be with child.

Saruman: Inconceivable!

Or...

Grima: My lord, the time is upon us for your Uruk army to emerge from their pods.

Saruman: Inconceivable!

Or...

Saruman: Heeey Grima, how's it goin'. Uhhh, yeahhhhh, I'm gonna have to ask you to go to Rohan full-time and watch over Theoden for me.

Grima: But...no, but...I believe I was explicit in my interview that...no, I...I, I...brigands rolling in the reek...

Saruman: Yeahhhhh, thanks Grima. Bye-bye now.

Grima: Um, ex-excuse me, I believe you have my stapler?

[Gil-Galad]

Grima: whats the matter?

Saruman: i just got bombarded with things to say from Oddwen

[THE Ka]

Saruman: Grima, where's your nephew?

Grima: Who? Oh, um, I devoured him.

Saruman: That's barbaric!

... Is there any left?


~ Ka

[Lalwendë]

Saruman: "Grima my lad! Bring me my crayons of many colours! This white page needs colouring in!"

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Grima was exited to work with a great sorcerer, but all Saruman did was soiling him self.

[narfforc]

Grima: Master, you can come out of this dark closet now, Grima has found a coin to put in your electrickery meter.

[Oddwen]

Saruman: Hey Grima, check it out. I'm hacking into the the MapQuest database and changing a few routes.

Grima: Wow, look at that new winding one - didn't that used to be the eagle route straight to the Sammath Naur?

Saruman: Yep, the new 'detour' will take months. And check out what I did to the Straight Road.

Grima: Wow, it's not even there!

Saruman: *snicker* I know...

[Inziladun]

1. Saruman: "Worm, do you ever feel like crying and you don't know why?"
or
2. Wormtongue: "Lord, have you at last discovered how Pop-Tarts work"?


I just noticed that's 300 posts. Took me long enough.

[Lalwendë]

Secrets of Middle-earth Number 22

Saruman was forced to hole himself up in Orthanc because he was deeply ashamed of his hirsute appearance after Grima hid his nose-hair trimmer.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

"Grima, why do you always try the hardest Su Dokus? You never finish them and you never let me do them!"

[Lalwendë]

Grima: "But Master! I queued up all night to get the new Warcraft expansion, and I come home to find you're still hogging the computer playing Werewolf! It's not fair!"

[Valesse]

Saurman: "Dear dark diary..."
Grima: "Saurman? Are you... blogging?"
Saurman: "What? No! Never!" *mutters* "nosey git... I'll see you later, LJ."

OR

Grima found him again in front of the computer. It had been a few weeks since he starting to worry that Saurman might have an internet addiction to one of those online games.

OR

Saurman: "That tramp Gandalf just out bid me again! Grr! I hate eBay! I hate Gandalf! Just you wait, I cut your connection and then what will you do? Hahahaha!"
Grima: "Er, what were you two bidding on?"
Saurman: "...a The Phantom bobble-head."
Grima: ". . ."
Saurman: "COLLECTORS EDITION."

OR

Grima walks Curunir through making a spreadsheet of his Orcs and Uruk-hai.

OR

(Ala Lalwende ;D)

Saurman: "Grima! Fetch me my energy drinks... it's time Wrath of the Lich King! Northrend, here I come!!" *girllish squeal*
Grima: "...don't you have more important things to be doing?"
Saurman: "I'm taking a sick day~~"

[Mithalwen]

But I look at Saruman and just think of Tim Henman's dad watching him play at Wimbledon. I just can't get beyond that.

[Lalwendë]

Grima: Sire, did you find out where that leftover screw is supposed to go?

Saruman: NO! This is the last time I buy a Palantir stand from IKEA!

[Morthoron]

With his eyesight failing and spectacles not yet invented, Saruman practices his braille.

[Morsul the Dark]

Saruman: Rima never ever cook for me again...*Vomit*

or

Grima:uh....stroke...um.... amazement.... um.... awe? I hate Charades?

or

Grima you are Saruman of many colors? so that means like Martin Luther King Jr. would be proud right?

or

Saruman: I'm just astounded who knew Tide was powerful enough to make his grey cloak white.

or

Saruman: Grima, i must confess I'm not "Many colored" I simply spilled some paint and couldn't get the stains out.

or

Grima: Sir if orthanc was built by noble people, why is it so scary looking?

or

Grima: we don't have to take over the world, we could just set up a hotel here I mean the place is huge and it really is just us two living here.

or

Saruman: I just finished...........Willliam Shatner's School........... Of Acting...... This......Is...... My sad face!

or

Saruman: Holy Son of a beast Dog it's Morsul the Dark where'd he some from?

[Lalwendë]

Saruman: I suspect this is an out of date Argos catalogue as the pictures are all done in pencil. So I'm afraid, Grima, you might not be getting a Nintendo DS this Christmas after all. Will a whip and top do instead?

Grima: I suspect it was all that Gandalf's doing, sire. How about a look at him?



http://www.npr.org/programs/morning/features/2006/mar/lotr_play/gandalf_550.jpg



A glimpse inside Gandalf's wild imagination as he reaches yet another new level on Guitar Hero.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Gandalf whistles innocently as the toaster burns the house down...

OR

Gandalf hoped no one was watching as he pulled his GameBoy out of his beard. He had nearly beaten his High Score on Tetris and by thunder he wasn't going to let a Balrog stop him from getting there!

[Inziladun]

Somnambulistic Gandalf has that 'butter churning' dream again.

[Formendacil]

Returning from the Istari mission, Olórin is left to explain to Manwë and Varda how it took two thousand years and the defections of four wizards to bring down Sauron.

Gandalf: "He had this really clever alias of "the Necromancer," see, and Saruman was smoking a lot of weed, and we left the research stuff to him..."

Manwë: "Wasn't it a weed-smoking halfling that managed to do him in?"

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

For some unknown reason NASA chose to build a rocket, shaped just like Gandalf.

[Oddwen]

Gandalf didn't know that Merry and Pippin had stuck the *other* gigantic dragon firework under his robes...


Or...


Gandalf's pyrotechnics were in huge demand at concerts.

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Gandalf was lucky, he could have frozen to death in a much more silly position.

or

Gandalf did not know it, but by pulling that handle he released Durin's Bane

or

Gandalf's extreme cocain addiction was just too absurd to make the books.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Gandalf's attempts to convince his wife that he'd given up smoking proved somewhat unsuccessful. He couldn't work out how she knew he was lying...

[Lalwendë]

Just like any other male, Gandalf's primal instincts were stirred by the scent of charcoal briquettes and cheap sausages and burgers being burnt to a crisp on a smoking barbecue. He inhaled the heady smell with relish before grabbing his apron and tongs.

[Brinniel]

Gandalf gets in a steam bath...

OR

No one could've prepared for Middle-earth's next big pop sensation, Gandalf the Grey.

[Morthoron]

"This humidity is just horrible for my hair."

[Tuor in Gondolin]

In a never aired December, 1984 Tonight Show episode
a live studio audience prefers Johnny Carson's Karnac the
Magnificent to Gandalf's.

(It was preempted by a debate between Smaug and Mother Teresa
over the virtues of hoarding wealth ).

[Strongbow]

Gandalf the Grey: Lord of the Interpretive Dance.

[Lalwendë]

Gandalf: "Ah.....the heady air of the outdoor smoking area at Orthanc!"

[The Might]

After watching Britain's Got Talent Gandalf too pretends to be Paul Potts ad starts singing.

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Gandalf was the only mime-artist never to make it out of the box.

[Kitanna]

Gandalf prepares to perform the all LOTR cast rendition of Michael Jackson's Thriller.

[Naz]

Grima: Barahir's father was Finduilas.

Saruman: Are you sure?

Grima: Yes. *snicker*


Thanks, Oddwen. ;D

Gandalf: The Phaaaantom of the Opera is theeere... inside your mind!



(ps: i was looking through my saved LotR pictures, & found one that i think would be suitable for captioning. But is it too soon? How does one know when to post a new picture?)

[Lalwendë]

Gandalf: "Tonight, Matthew, I'm going to be...............................
..........................Roy Wood from Wizzard!"













Naz - there was a 'rule' that after about 20 or so posts, or if the jokes dry up, it's time for anyone who has got a good one, to bung a new pic on :)

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

One of Gandalf's less known achievments was when he defeated The Rotten Stick of Doom!

or

Once again Gandalf mistook a random branch for Excalibur

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Gandalf was far too shy to take off his clothes in the sauna.*


*Which makes you wonder about all the uncloaking, I suppose...

[Naz]

Gandalf ignores the fact that his fireworks are all setting off all at once & are wreaking havoc all over Hobbiton...

Gandalf: Well, let's see what this little girl has to say about it, hm?

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v20/fegie/temp.jpg

*staring as the fireworks go up in flaming glory*

[Laurinquë]

Please God, not another "entertaining" lecture from Gandalf about the unreasonably high sulfur and nitrogen levels in his competitors fireworks! That is soooo BORING!

It seems to me that she is rolling her eyes as if she were bored...

[Strongbow]

I'm only listening because Bilbo gave me a Barbie as a present.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

The best firework was the one where Gandalf accidently launched himself four miles into the air. This Child watched intently.

[The Might]

A member of the Jackson Five accidentally winds up in Middle-earth.

[Lalwendë]

Even Hobbit children were keen on Harry Potter as Gandalf found out when they were all in awe because 'Dumbledore' had turned up for Bilbo's party.

[Oddwen]

"I want to hear more about Sam, dad. Why didn't they put in more of his talk, dad? That's what I like, it makes me laugh. And Frodo wouldn't have got far without Sam, would he, dad?"

[Formendacil]

A sheltered Hobbit child encounters her first (bearded) Dwarf.

[Oddwen]

A sheltered Hobbit child encounters her first (bearded) Dwarf.

"Mithta Dwarf, when I get as big as you, will I get a beard too?"

[Kitanna]

A member of the Jackson Five accidentally winds up in Middle-earth.

A hobbit learns that Elvis really isn't dead.

This hobbit child learns early the effects of moonshine on her elders. There is nothing so bizarre and scarring as drunken hobbits bumping and grinding.

[Naz]

(Ok, i killed this thread & i'm gonna revive it! Sorry, you guys... :\\)

"Wow, i wonder for how long he can keep that up..."

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v20/fegie/elrondscream.jpg

Elrond when he found out who ate the last of his lembas.

[Groin Redbeard]

Elrond: Figaro, figaro, figaro!

or

Elrond does his impersonation of a gold fish.

[Oddwen]

The instant Elrond first uttered the word "doom", he knew that he and it were meant to be...forever.


Or...


Galadriel: And do you, Elrond Peredhil, take my daughter to be your wife?

Elrond: I do...m.

Celebrian: Grr!

[Naz]

The instant Elrond first uttered the word "doom", he knew that he and it were meant to be...forever.

So this is who chants "Doom! The Crack of Doom!" in the Rankin-Bass RotK!

[Kitanna]

Elrond prepares to do the new exercise craze that is sweeping Middle-Earth...facercise!

[Eönwë]

Elrond never got the hang of whistling.

or

Elrond's lower jaw gets stuck.

or

Elrond does his best Beorn impression.

or

Elrond learns a new eyebrow trick.

[Oddwen]

E: "Disorder! Disorder! Disoooo-oooo-ooorder!"

[Beregond]

WILSONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!

[Ilya]

Elrond tries to take the ring from Isildur by sucking all the air out of Mt. Doom.

[The Elf-warrior]

Elrond sings!

[Beregond]

Agent Elrond smells man-flesh one too many times.

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Elrond tries to show people what the ring looks like, only using his mouth.

or

Elrond learned the hard way that it is rather painful to use leeches as eyebrows.

[mormegil]

As Gandalf prepares...

Elrond: NO!!!!

[Strongbow]

Waitress: What would you like for breakfast sir?

Elrond: POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOridge, please.

[Oddwen]

Waitress: What would you like for breakfast sir?

Elrond: POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOridge, please.

He is also a POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOr tipper.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Elrond tries to shatter the ring by singing at a really high pitch.

OR

Steel underpants were not comforable at the best of times...

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Elrond after healing Frodo:

"I'd like to share something with you, Mr. Baggins.
Hobbits aren't really mammals. They spread everywhere
using up the resources of Eriador. They're a virus!"

[Lalwendë]

"Here's Johnny!"

[Hookbill the Goomba]

A festive caption;

Elrond: Silent Night, HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLY Night.

[Oddwen]

E: Goooo-OOOORgoroth where the wind goes sweeping down the plains...

[mormegil]

The ice cube down the shorts routine went over as expected.

[Lalwendë]

A naughty mischief maker sent the designs for the Elrond action figure to the wrong sort of doll factory...

:eek:

[Beregond]

Alright, alright, maybe it's time for a new image? :p

[mormegil]

Okay, let's see the mileage out of this one shall we.

http://i188.photobucket.com/albums/z237/Mormegil_photo/kingdead.jpg

King of the dead: It's translucent you idiot not transparent, there is a difference.

or

King: Yes it is rather irritating that I cannot shave, thank you for bringing it up.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

The King of the Dead was quite pleased by Aragon's offer. Previously, he'd been the understudy for the 'walk' symbol on pelican crossings.

[Eönwë]

The King of the Dead tries his grimmest grin.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

The King of the Dead just couldn't understand why he never made it as a Children's Entertainer. :(

[mormegil]

King of Dead: Wedgies will not work on me Gimli son of Gloin.

[Groin Redbeard]

Aragorn wanted to see what happens and so he ate some glow sticks for breakfast.

[Tuor in Gondolin]

King of the Dead to Austin Powers:
"Yeah baby! Eat your heart out. I am one sexy b**ch!"

[Eönwë]

*Snarling* I smell man flesh!

or

*Snarling* I smell Legolas's shampoo!

or

*Snarling* Not again, Gandalf!


Basically, it should include snarling.

[Strongbow]

Who...turned....off....GENERAL HOSPITAL?!

[Oddwen]

The King of the Dead regenerates into...King of the Still Dead.

[Beregond]

Aging dead pirate Captain Barbossa makes a cameo appearance in The Return of the King.

[Inziladun]

King of the Dead: "What do you mean, I look like the Flying Dutchman from Spongebob Squarepants?"

[mormegil]

The king of the dead is unimpressed with Gandalf's famous 'trick'

[Lalwendë]

King: "Have you got something for a really, really, really bad cold?"

[Morthoron]

"I'm not dead, I'm just pinin' for the fjord."

[davem]

Winner of the 'Elvis Impersonator 2008 Award' just announced....

[Lalwendë]

Secrets of Middle-earth No.42

The King of the Dead got that corpse-like appearance from spending far too much time basking in the glow of his 50" Plasma TV playing Guitar Hero on his Wii.

[Morthoron]

"Me mum used to play the 'I've got your nose' game when I was little. I see now it was no game."

[Morthoron]

Here's an appropriate little ditty I've heard sung to The Beatles' "Yesterday":

Leprosy,
All my skin is falling off of me --
I'm not half the man I used to be,
Oh, Leprosy, is eating me...

Kiss me quick
Before I lose my upper lip,
I don't even have a nose to pick
Since I contracted leprosy...

Sorry, not a very festive holiday tune. *shrugs*

[Brinniel]

The King of the Dead was very peeved to discover that all this time he and his army had been hiding out in a uranium mine...

[Lalwendë]

"This is a local mine, for local people, there's nothing for you here."

[Tuor in Gondolin]

No mining! Not allowed!

(That's for mst3000 people). :)

[FeRaL sHaDoW]

Even from a distance you could tell that the King of the dead had an odour problem.

[Valesse]

The King of the Dead just had one of those poker faces... or a face that looked like it had come against a kind of hot poker.

King of the Dead: "Yeah... it's a crown AND a helmit, dude... and get this... I don't even need it."

[The Only Real Estel]

The latest Middle-Earth skin care product went just a bit overboard with their 'Before' picture...

[Lalwendë]

The Doctor was less than pleased with the results of his latest regeneration.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

The King was disappointed that he was so rotten, he had to be replaced...

http://www.edbeardjr.com/store/catalog/images/tol007.jpg

A senile Gandalf the White catches a glimpse of himself in the mirror.

OR

Gandalf sees Saruman the White Uncloaked.

[The Only Real Estel]

Tobold Hornblower's Longbottom Leaf Factory

Gandalf: "I won the last golden scroll!!!"

Coming soon to a theater near you!

[Lalwendë]

Secrets of Middle-earth Number 85

Gandalf the White had a second job as the oldest pole dancer in Middle-earth; though he didn't get that many tips.

[Morthoron]

Gandalf finds a new and interesting use for Hobbits.

[Oddwen]

"Group huuuuuuuuug!"

[Inziladun]

Gandalf's stay in Lórien abruptly ended as he 'accidentally' discovered Galadriel's private bath.

[The Only Real Estel]

Life got you down? Ring of Power in need of destruction? Middle Earth in dire peril? Don't get mad, get Glad!

[Naz]

"How ahr ya?!"

(inspired by someone else being inspired by MST3K. ;))

[narfforc]

Gandalf the White runs to the hills when he is told of the forthcoming Hobbit movie, and is told he has to change back into his scratchy old grey kit. He is also not happy about having the grey rinse again either.

[Mithalwen]

The wizard look remarkably cheerful for somone being sucked down a plughole.

[Lalwendë]

Gandalf the White gets t'monk on because his new robes haven't been ironed by Varda.

[mormegil]

Gandalf finally discovered, after his many travels, the best portable outhouse Middle-earth had to offer.

Gandalf: I'm HOME!!!!

[Lalwendë]

Gandalf cries vainly for help as he is swept over the watery precipice of Rauros in nothing more than an ashtray made to look like a scallop shell.

[The Elf-warrior]

Gandalf: "Shoggoths? There are no shoggoths here. On a completely unrelated note, does your insurance cover mental illness?"

[Tuor in Gondolin]

I am the ghost of winter solstices past. Come with me
Smeagol to the house of your grandmother as
she greets you and Deagol for that holiday.

[Ilya]

Gandalf multitasks by both posing for an El Greco painting and parting the Red Sea.

[FeRaL sHaDoW]

The poster for Gandalf’s new role in the dwarf opera

Or

Gandalf: BWA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA IM EVIL

[narfforc]

"Yeh, but you should have seen the one that got away, it was this big",said Gandalf.

[Beregond]

Gandalf discovers the magic of Rit whitener and blacklights.

[Eönwë]

Gandalf realises how wet his cloak really is.

or the obvious...

Gandalf ponders the merits of uncloaking in this situation.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Gandalf has been paused in that position for a few minutes now. He'd completely forgotten what he was saying.

[Beregond]

If no one has objections, I'll post a new picture.

http://www.landofrohan.com/bd/araleg2.jpg

[Eönwë]

Legolas needs Aragorn for "moral support"

or:

Legolas: Urgh! What's that on your shoe, Aragorn!

[Beregond]

Aragorn and Legolas's "moment" is interrupted when Gimli burps.

[Eönwë]

I have to bring this up before anyone else, sorry:

Gandalf uncloaks!

:rolleyes:

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Aragorn watches helplessly as the termites carry his legs away.

OR

Quicksand was not the way Aragon thought he'd die. Legolas hadn't quite twigged it yet and he'd been there for hours.

[Eönwë]

Gimli is neck deep in the green snow.

[Inziladun]

Legolas: "Just look at those roots! Your grey is showing!"

[Hookbill the Goomba]

After pulling the lever, Legolas realized that the trap-door wasn't big enough for Aragon.

[Oddwen]

Legolas: "...now that I've led you to your DOOOOM!" *pinch pinch*

Aragorn: "Um...what?"

Legolas: *pinch pinch* "C'mon, it works for Vulcans!"

[Morthoron]

"While you're down there..."

[Valesse]

Hey Diddle, diddle
With a dwarf in the middle
And Legolas feeling like a loon.
Aragorn scoffed to see such a sight
When the dish ran away with the spoon.

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Aragorn and Legolas decided to show people just how large the evles of old was.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Gimli soon realized it was the wrong moment to ask Aragon to help him tie his shoe laces again.

OR

For a terrifying moment, Aragorn thought he had a hand-shaped growth coming out of his neck.

OR EVEN...

This was taken three seconds before Legolas cried;
"PIGGY BACK TIME!"

[Lariren Shadow]

Legolas: Aragorn, I'm not sure how comfortable I am seeing Gimli like that.

Aragorn: Well, I'm not sure how comfortable I am with your neck massage.

[Valesse]

Defeated once again in a night long dance-off, Isildur's heir fell to his knees.
Legolas: You knew it was folly, Aragorn, he is the Disco King after all.

[Eönwë]

Aragorn: None of that, Gimli! We're over 80, remember?

[mormegil]

While it isn't spoken of in polite society much, Pippin left some other signs besides the broach that, needless to say, the hunters thought was a bit overboard.

[Kitanna]

Aragorn was beginning to suspect he had been lied to about Legolas's "manly" weekend when Legolas suggested giving each other makeovers.

or

Legolas: Break dancing Uruks?

[Parmastahir]

Legolas uncloaks!

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Legolas: "Well Aragorn, it would appear you are
a man foresighted, there are gay hobbits!"

[Valesse]

Fighting for several scenes Legolas and Aragorn had finally managed to wrangle back the fantasy epic aura to their entire plight when once again it was ruined by Gimli, plugged into his "Iplod", whistling loudly to Abba.

[The Only Real Estel]

Aware of Aragorn's phobia of physical contact, Legolas attempts to began a massage subtley.

Aragorn noticed.

[The Only Real Estel]

Guard (off screen): "You two - watch your proximity."

[Eönwë]

Gimli mentions Legolas's unlimited arrows.

[Parmastahir]

"Galadriel! How many times do I have to tell you?!? It's bleach my underwear and starch my robes!!"

[Eönwë]

Legolas's eyebrows take on a life of their own.

[Lalwendë]

Legolas: "Hark! What is that sinister sound of raspy breath that I hear many worlds away?"

Aragorn: "I think it is a writer of slash fiction. I had better get up and stop giving her ideas!"

[Eönwë]

Gimli: My hovercraft is full of eels.

[Oddwen]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v58/Oddwen/petspiderbyemmie.jpg

Frodo: It's...it's so terrible and majestic! More than I could ever hope for! I never thought we would reach the Fiery Mountain so soon! At last I can be rid of this terrible burden!

Merry: When should we tell him it's only a model?

Pippin: After he throws the Ring in...and after It's mine! Mwa ha!

[Formendacil]

Merry is confused when Frodo is left standing at the altar, while Pippin is too busy flirting with the bridesmaids to care.

[Beregond]

Gandalf un...

No, no, I'm above that. :cool:


Pippin introduces Frodo and Merry to Arwen Undomiel, without warning.

[Oddwen]

Pippin introduces Frodo and Merry to Arwen Undomiel, without warning.


Frodo: O slender as a willow-wand! O clearer than clear water!
O reed by the living pool! Fair River Daughter...

Arwen: Oi! I recognize those verses! Ooo, that watery tart!
*uninhibited violence*

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Merry isn't sure how to react to the "Kidnap me!" sign Pippin put on Frodo's back.

OR

Pippin notices that Frodo is wearing a wig.

[Kent2010]

Gandalf failed to warn any of the hobbits the ring would make its bearer sprout a third foot on his back

[narfforc]

Frodo see's Bilbo and suddenley realises that getting rid of The One Ring has adverse effects, like inadequate old age pensions, bus passes for the dilapitated public transport system and incontinence in a NHS Hospital.

[Kent2010]

Jackson tells the hobbits to just give their normal expressions for this scene

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Nobody told Frodo and Sam that the Council of Elrond was a black-tie* affair.

__________
*As in a black tie and nothing else.

[Morthoron]

Frodo's bewildered reaction to Samwise's declaration of undying love was not what Mr. Gamgee was hoping for.

[Formendacil]

Frodo's bewildered reaction to Samwise's declaration of undying love was not what Mr. Gamgee was hoping for.

But, really, what did the Gaffer expect, announcing his son's love for him?:p

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Pippin's 'pour water on Gandalf' prank had somewhat unexpected results.

Gandalf: I'm MEELLLTIING! MEEELLLLTTTTIIINNNGG!!

[The Only Real Estel]

Frodo: "We're lost!"

Merry: "What'd you expect..."

Pippin: "Yeah - you used Mapquest!" *snicker*

[Morsul the Dark]

Frodo suddenly realises something
Frodo: So we're going to certain death and we're leaving this perfectly nice place why?

Merry: Huh.... You're right...

Pippin: Dude This Pipeweed is amazing smoke some it'tt make it all make sense!

[narfforc]

In Rivendell where Elves yet dwell,
they have latrines that do not smell.
Peoples come from far and near,
at elven-maidens just to leer.
Then one day four hobbits came,
to look for fortune and for fame.
But all they found was trouble more,
and poetry, poetry, what a bore.
Frodo from afar did see,
Bilbo Baggins beneath a tree.
In that hour was made his mind,
for the exit door to find.
"I have to get away from here,
or Bilbo rhymes I'll have to hear".
Hearing this Sam did say,
"Quick let's make a getaway".
But all to late I am afraid,
by Elrond they were waylaid.
The moral of this story is,
KEEP AWAY FROM IMLADRISS.

[The Elf-warrior]

Pippin rickrolls Frodo and Sam.

[Kuruharan]

Merry: He stomped on my foot!!

Frodo: I'll probably feel tortured about this for a long time, but at least now maybe I'll finally be able to make a clean getaway!

Pippin: Hyuck, hyuck, hyuck!

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Frodo did not know what was happening to him from behind or how to make it stop.

[Beregond]

Pippin is amused when he finds everyone else is stuck in a slow-motion parallel-reality.

[Eönwë]

Merry: What did you do, Pippin? [actually, you can say this in any tone and it still works]

[The Only Real Estel]

Frodo & Merry gape at Galadriel's beauty, while Pippin snickers to himself over his stealthy depantsing of Frodo.

[Eönwë]

Seems like we need a new one...

how about:
http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y289/joanna_md/quiz%20results/1079724656_Acelanddriel.jpg

[Inziladun]

'My Dear, please ask the hobbit Peregrin to refrain from bathing in my Mirror.'

[Kuruharan]

Galadriel and Celeborn: You wore that?!

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Celeborn to Galadriel:
Celeborn: You're a pistol, you're really funny. You're really funny.
Galadriel: What do you mean I'm funny?
Celeborn: It's funny, you know. It's a good story, it's funny, you're a funny girl.
[laughs]
Galadriel: what do you mean, you mean the way I talk? What?
Celeborn: It's just, you know. You're just funny, it's... funny, the way you tell the story and everything.
Galadriel: [it becomes quiet] Funny how? What's funny about it?
What did ya say? Funny how?
Celeborn: Jus...
Galadriel: What?
Celeborn: Just... ya know... you're funny.
Galadriel: You mean, let me understand this cause, ya know maybe it's me, I'm a little f***** up maybe, but I'm funny how, I mean funny like I'm a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?
Celeborn: Just... you know, how you tell the story, what?
Galadriel: No, no, I don't know, you said it. How do I know? You said I'm funny. How am I funny, what is so funny about me? Tell me, tell me what's funny!
Celeborn [long pause] Get out of here,Gal!
Galadriel: [everyone laughs] I almost had him, I almost had him. Frodo, was he shaking? I wonder about you sometimes, Cel. You may fold under questioning
by Sauron.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Celeborn: You got any idea how those words are floating in front of us?

[Oddwen]

Celeborn: You got any idea how those words are floating in front of us?

Celeborn: Psst...are those my lines?

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

"Why has this hobbit jumped onto our shoulders? Grounds for execution if I ever I saw them."

[narfforc]

Celeborn 'Can I borrow your curling tongs later?'
Galadriel 'Only if you return my straighteners first lovey'

[mormegil]

Galadriel: Dear, did you just break wind?

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Celeborn: Exactly why did you tie your hair into your belt?

OR

Both: Hey! Are you wearing my shoes?

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Galadriel had a nasty habbit of stealing glass from restaurants. . . .

Celeborn: Just keep walking!

----------------------

Celeborn was amazed by Galadriel's abbility to stand up and sleep.

[Elmo]

Our marriage stands upon the edge of a knife. Stray but a little, and it will fail.

Yes she even talks like that to her husband

[The Only Real Estel]

As the two arrive at the relative's...

Celeborn: "I hate the holidays, we have to dine with people we wouldn't give the time of day to normally!"

Galadirel: "Hush up, we'll just have a bite to eat & then leave before they even start the football game."

[TheOrcWithNoName]

Galadirel: "Why can't we have just used the lift instead?"

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Upon realising they were both wearing the same broach...

Celeborn: Well one of us is going to have to change. :mad:

OR

After Galadriel stopped wearing her "Hello, My name is 'GALADRIEL'" badge, Celeborn often had a hard time remembering who she was...

[Eönwë]

*Gandalf uncloaks*

Galadriel: A little distasteful, Celeborn, wouldn't you say?

Celeborn: Indeed, couldn't have said it better myself.


-----or----


Galadriel: Why are you wearing a dress?

Celeborn: Well, YOU ARE... erm... *looks around nervously*

[Morthoron]

Celeborn: Are those real?

[mormegil]

Galadriel: *sniff sniff* Dear, I think you stepped in Warg poo.

[TheOrcWithNoName]

Galadriel: I think you're fly is undone!

or

Galadriel: So, do you want a double cheese burger & fries or what?

[Oddwen]

Another Conspiracy Unmasked...?

[TheOrcWithNoName]

Celeborn: Don't turn around, I think we have a stalker!

[The Only Real Estel]

Celeborn: "If you had told me you were going to do something with your hair I would've done more then straighten mine!"

Galadriel: "It's only the humidity."

[Boromir88]

Celeborn: Do you think it is time for a new photo?
Galadriel: Patience, my husband.
(brief pause)
Celeborn: How about now?

http://www.ccs.neu.edu/home/avl/pics/lotr/ttt/haldir.jpg

Haldir: Haha, people thought Legolas' shield-sliding was cool, wait until they see this! ahhh...*falls and dies*

[Oddwen]

Haldir: Gil-barad! What is that I see reflected in your shiny, shiny armor? GAAHHH! *dies*

[mormegil]

Haldir: Oh Crap! I left my lights on back in Lothlorien.