Crazy Captions

[Boromir88]

Man in hat: How about we put the spa here.

Theoden: That's where the indoor basketball courts are going.

(Gandalf walks in. Theoden throws map of Middle-earth over top).

Gandalf: Don't try to fool me I know you were making plans for your new Estate.

[Holbytlass]

Theoden: Eowen? Dresses in drag? Inconceivalbe!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Théoden: Now, we need to move our forces to the west and--

Simon Sharma: and as you can see, the pressures of being king really weighed down on Théoden as his enemies pressed in.

Théoden: Do you have to do this now?

S-s: Of course, how else will we get a good documentary?

OR

Peter Jackson, the Director, uncloaked! Now that’s just wrong.

[The Only Real Estel]

Theoden to Rohan man off camera: "And this is supposed to be a painting of me?"

Rohan man off camera: "Well, I'm no da Vinci, but..."

[Morsul the Dark]

they watch on as aragorn legolas and gimli sing

"we're knights of the round table...."(I dont know the whole song shame on me :p

[The Perky Ent]

*stares into camera*

Theoden: What do you call it?

Gandalf: We call it *slaps hand on screen* Mr. Rental. There's a new technology out where you can watch the movie before it's even finished!

Theoden: That's amazing! Let's watch!

*watches*

Theoden: Meh, this part is boring. Prepare to fast foward!

Gandalf: Preparing to fast foward! Fast Fowarding!



or


Theoden: So...you're telling me all the Rohirrim just decided that now, in our darkest hour, was an appropreate time to stop at the DQ for a frostie?

[Morsul the Dark]

gimli introduces his wife...(enough said)

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Théoden: How dare you accuse me of actually being a corpse from the dead marshes! I'll have you know the flaming hat is very fashionable!

[The Perky Ent]

Theoden: You're going to change the picture so soon?

Gandalf: Yes. I'm having a flashback...

http://www.educa.aragob.es/iespgaza/ecobachillerato/webquestseco/grupo7/sauron.jpg
For Holloween, Sauron dressed up as Carcharoth when he ate the simaril

or

Sauron: I feel pretty! Oh so pretty!

or

Sauron: Thank you for freeing me from that awful ring! You have destoryed the curse. I can now live as free loving spirit amongst the peoples of Middle Earth

Isildur: Really?

Sauron: *turns back into Dark form* Naw, I'm just messin with ya


or


Sauron: I knew I shouldn't of tried that 'Aiya earendil Elenion Ancalima' stuff

[Kath]

Legolas: Uh, Mr Sauron sir?

Sauron: What is it! I'm a little busy here.

Legolas: Yes, I know, but you see - you're glowing.

Sauron: :rolleyes:

[mormegil]

Sauron's experiment at creating finger tip flashlights goes horribly wrong!

[Mithalwen]

Sauron presented quite a challenge for the radiographers when he went to A&E with his maimed hand...

[dancing spawn of ungoliant]

Sauron had this nagging feeling that a little less silver polish might have been enough.

[Pallando]

Sauron turns to Isildur and asks "Are you a good witch or a bad witch?"

or

Behold the armor the Dark Lord would have donned had he reclaimed his ring! The Armor of Urple Light! Armies would have too busy laughing to fight back as he conquered the lands.

[The Only Real Estel]

(for those of you who like Family Guy ;))

Playing Pictionary at Meduseld:

Pippin (offscreen): "Jackel! Uh...jackel! Jackel. Is it, jackel? Jackel! It's a jackel!"

Theoden: "I quit! It wasn't jackel the first time Pippin, why the heck would it be the next 50 times!?"

[Formendacil]

Is it any wonder that Sauron ceased to serve Aule and the Valar? All that light just didn't look as good on his as ebony.

[Glirdan]

Théoden pic

(an advance sorry to those who normally do this)

Théoden: Are we at Helm's Deep yet?

Old guy: No sir. The map lied to us.

Théoden: I hate MapQuest!!! :mad:

Sauron pic

Sauron: NOOOOO!!!! I AM DEFEATED!!!!

Legolas: Hey everyone!!! Sauron's defeated!!!!

Everyone, including Saruon: :rolleyes:

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Sauron is accused of lying after saying "I did not eat all the pies!" :rolleyes:

Or

For all you Doctor Who fans;

Sauron is an Auton! (look at his hand!

[Anguirel]

A Silmaril, tired of being repeatedly stolen, decides to take action...

[The Perky Ent]

Pinnochio grows a nose when he lies. Sauron starts glowing.


Sauron: Grr...stuipd Duracel!

[Gurthang]

Sauron does his best impression of Galadriel when she gets too excited. (ie. Mirror of Galadriel from movie.)

OR

This is Sauron's twin. Sauron's the bad one, in case you didn't know. :rolleyes:

OR

Sauron has some major buck teeth.

OR

Sauron: "Oh, look, a lever! I wonder what it does?" *pulls lever* *gets electrocuted*

OR

101 Ways To Defeat a Dark Lord
#37- attach him to an arc welder.

[Kath]

Voiceover: Taking over Middle Earth. Just one more thing you can't do whilst being electrocuted.

[Ainaserkewen]

"And finally, monsieur, a wafer-thin mint."

[THE Ka]

It was a well known, but amazingly well kept secret that sauron was known to taking to life-like mall christmas decor to boost holiday season support...


~ Aesthete

[The Perky Ent]

Frodo: *sigh* He ate the phial...again :(

[The Only Real Estel]

Sauron had his fingers cut off in the midst of pulling splinters out of him.
(that would explain the tweezers in his left hand...)

[Bêthberry]

Are those feline or canine facial features?

[arcticstorm]

Sauron? Yes, that is what they used to call me, Sauron the black. I am Sauron the White, and I come back to you now at the turn of the tide.

[Witch_Queen]

(Pippin with a pale of water)

Pippin: Wonder what happens when I do this. *throws water on Sauron*

Sauron: I'm melting... melting..... MELTING!!!!!!
(little orcs run out around the now melting Sauron singing HI HO the witch is dead the wicked wicked witch is dead)
Sauron lets out a final cry as he turns into a rainbow lollipop.

Pippin: Hey look Merry a pretty lollipop. Wanna lick?

----------OR----------------

Sauron runs out of dark tower singing and dancing.

Sauron: Ebony and Ivory live together in perfect harmony.......

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Sauron spent too long on the sun-bed.

OR

Sauron the black, uncloaked.

[Morsul the Dark]

I don't know why but this came to mind(wonder what froid would say...)

Sauron: Behold I am the great Sauron
Beavis(yes random):Really cool but I am the Great Cornholio
S:But Im better
B: Do you have TP?
S:.....uh....no
B:Than you su-- for I am the great cornholioooooooooo

or(another less random one)

Sauron:Let me get this straight Gandalf glows and all of a sudden he's mighty...but if i glow im dieing....dude thats messed up

[The Perky Ent]

After killing Sauron, the men of Gondor turned him into Pelagir's first human lighthouse

[CaptainofDespair]

Sauron: What? What do you mean this set isn't for the Dragonball Z live-action movie try-outs?

---------
Later
---------

Sauron: How could I not get the part? How?! I can do the glowy effects thing without the need for expensive visuals! *weeps*
Elrond: It's okay...you'll get other jobs...
Sauron: Easy for you to say, Agent Elrond....*muttering* jerk...

[Beanamir of Gondor]

Emperor Palpatine: If you will not turn, then you will be destroyed!
Frodo: Noooooooooo!!! *incoherent gargling* Help me Sauron, please!
Darth Sauron: *hesitates, grabs Palpatine*
ZZZZZZAAAPPPPPP!!!!!

[Glirdan]

going off of arcticstorm:

Frodo: But you're evil.

Sauron: I know that!! I mean at the turn of the tide for my victory!!! Can't you all get that through your heads!?!?!? What? Did you think I'd turn into Gandalf and help defeat myself!?!? Sheez!!!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

So this is why you should never smoke, kids.

[malkatoj]

"Curse you and your Mirror Shield!"


(Anyone who gets this is my new best friend.)

[The Perky Ent]

As one of the most powerful of the Maiar, Sauron's hickups were much more lethal!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

And from the bowels of Sauron bursts forth a new picture!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v604/hukbillgoomba/Crazy%20captions/ring_wraiths_stampede.jpg

Ring wraiths: RUN AWAY! Fury bunny rabbit! :eek:

OR

R-Ws: Run Away! Gandalf the Grey! Uncloaked!

Or yet!

The Ring wraiths were not happy with the service at Burger King!

Or further,

Witch King: Who put jam on my seat?

[Glirdan]

Witch-King: We found our way to Rivendell!! Yes!!

Ring Wraiths: Hurray for MapQuest!!!!

*meanwhil in Rivendell*

Arwen: Father!! The Black Riders crossed the Fords!!!

Aragorn: I knew I should have gone instead of her!!

Gandalf: That surprised me so much, I think I'm going to uncloak!!

Elrond: I hate MapQuest!!! :mad:

Legolas: Hey!! Look!! Aragron's here!! And the Black Riders are coming!! And Gandalf's uncloaking!!! And Elrond hates MapQuest!!!

Everyone: :rolleyes:

[malkatoj]

Invisible minstrels:

Bravely the bold Ringwraiths
Rode forth from Mordor...
They were not afraid to die,
O the brave Ringwraiths
They were not at all afraid to be killed in ways...

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Witch King: Attack! Attack! Oh! Wait! Catastrophe!

Khamûl: What is it?

Witch King: I left the iron on! We'll have to turn back!

Or

W-k *to Eowyn*:Come not between the Nazgul and his pray! Hay! Come back here I'm not finished!

[The Only Real Estel]

Contrary to popular belief, the Wraith's steeds could run on water.

[Kath]

The polo game wasn't going too well.

[Boromir88]

Invisible minstrels:

Bravely the bold Ringwraiths
Rode forth from Mordor...
They were not afraid to die,
O the brave Ringwraiths
They were not at all afraid to be killed in ways...

Not invisible minstrels...but Ringwraith Minstrels...

Ringwraith Minstrels: Brave Sir Witch-king ran away...
Witch-king: No!
R M: bravely ran away away...
W-K: I didn't!
R M: When danger reared its ugly head, he bravely turned his tail and fled.
W-K: Shutup!
R M: Yes, brave Sir Witch-King turned about, and valiantly, he chickened out.

Or...

The Ringwraiths enjoy a game of Ding-dong Doorbell ditch.

[Alcarillo]

Seven Ringwraiths in Back: Kill the imposters!

Two Ringwraiths in Front: I knew we should've gotten black horses.

[The Elf-warrior]

Sauron pic:

Sauron: "I am Melkor returned, worship me and you will have plenty of man-flesh to eat! No more crow!"

Nazgul pic:

The Nazgul were late for their flight to Bohemian Grove.

[Gurthang]

Ring-wraiths: "Weren't we riding Black Horses?!"

OR

The wraiths enjoy a stress relieving game of polo.

OR

The Ring-wraiths in front just can't help but look back at their super-cool flowing cloaks.

OR

It's the newest craze in the sporting world! Synchronized Water Horse-Racing! Only on ESPN 8, the Ocho!

[mormegil]

Clearance sales at the Gap of Rohan always brought the undesirables of society.

[Holbytlass]

Witch King: Tch! I knew I should've asked what the others were wearing to the halloween party!

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Witch-King: Couldn't they have cancelled the polo game when they knew the hurricane was coming??

[Boromir88]

Ringwraiths: Ahh, the next Picture...Gandalf! He's going to uncloak...

http://www.warofthering.net/quintessential/movieshots/gandalf_bilbo_bagend.jpg

Gandalf: Now, you are going to give the Ring to Frodo?

Bilbo: Yes of course (thinks)...he, he, the fake one.

[CaptainofDespair]

Bilbo: *between teeth* Can I please stop smiling now? It's starting to hurt.
Gandalf: Not until you learn what it'd be like if your face was stuck like that. This will teach you not to play tricks using that Ring of yours.
Bilbo: But, it hurts...
Gandalf: Don't make me uncloak...

[Glirdan]

Gandalf: So then I uncloaked and the Balrog got scared and he fell!!!!

Bilbo: That's hil... you WHAT!?!?!?!?!?

[Kath]

Gandalf: It's your own fault Bilbo, I tried to warn you. I said you'd be stuck like that if the wind changed and look what happened!

[HerenIstarion]

Narrator's voice: Bilbo drank too much ale and almost spilled the beans about the Ring to his guests. Fortunately, Gandalf was quick on the uptake to warn him. Once again, the day was saved by the wise wizard, only drawback being, Gandalf was drunk himself and missed, kicking Bilbo in his privates instead of merely treading on his foot...

Bilbo: Ouch....
Gandalf: What? Ah...um...yes.. Alas! It was this accursed boot that gave the pain. Few now have the skill in healing to match such evil weapons, you must go to Rivendell, for only Elrond can heal you!
Bilbo: m-mm-mm-m...
Gandalf: No 'm-m' ing required, you must go at once!

Narrator's voice: And that's how Gandalf the Wise helped to rekindle Bilbo's passion for traveling and helped the Ring into Frodo's keeping! This is also the reason why Bilbo remained bachelor to the end of his days, for even Elrond's skill was not match enough, as Bilbo's somewhat damaged walking ability took him more than an year to reach Rivendell and it was too late... ahem, you know how it hurts when...ahem, but I'm straying... And they lived happily ever after, they did, yes!

[Boromir88]

The trickster Hobbit had poured Ex-lax in Gandalf's tea...

Gandalf: Mmmm, good tea.

Bilbo: Yes, drink up.

[mormegil]

Gandalf: Okay then after the party we'll act like you have left, then I'll give Frodo your "special ring". Later I'll become convinced it's the one ring and send him on some wild goose chase to destroy the ring.

Bilbo: Do you think he'll believe it's the one ring?

Gandalf: Of course he will, he believes anything I say.

[Pallando]

Little did Gandalf the Grey know that Bilbo Baggins set his staff aflame...

[Morsul the Dark]

Bilbo:So then I says.....
Gandalf(speaking):Really? fascinating
Gandalf(thinking):So I was able to send this guy off and no one cared I wonder if anyone would noticed if he was gone forever.....eru! does he ever stop talking?
Bilbo(continuing):Then I was totally p-oed and I says.........
Gandalf(scratching into table):Redrumredrumredrum

[Anguirel]

Bilbo and Gandalf plot to use the Ring's power to subjugate Middle-earth and sell it to British American Tobacco...

[Gurthang]

*(In the following caption, the old picture refers to the picture seen above, since the shot above
looks like a worn and faded picture. This caption is Gandalf and Bilbo happening on this picture.)*

Gandalf: "Oh, Bilbo! Look at this old picture I found!"

Bilbo: "Oh, that was a long while ago! Back when we were still in Middle-Earth!"

Gandalf: "Yes, those were tough times... I wonder how we were ever able to smile like that?"

Bilbo: "I'm not sure either; all I remember of Middle-Earth is dark and unpleasant."

Gandalf: "Well, at least we are happy here in Valinor; and it looks like we were once happy there, too."

Bilbo: "Yes, a good thing to remember: happy then and happy now.... Have you ever thought about going back for a visit? "

Gandalf: "Oh, no. No, no, no. I am not allowed, for my work is done. Besides, they do not sail back over the Sea."

Bilbo: "Huh. Well, after seeing that photo, it doesn't seem so bad anymore. I would very much like to go back. See the Lonely Mountain again... wander the paths of Mirkwood.... visit Rivendell... (sigh)"
Gandalf: "Oh, I've heard that before! You stopped at Rivendell and just ended up coming here."

Bilbo: "Well, I never did get to do the other two things, and I'd still like to."

Gandalf: "I'm sorry, but I really don't think that that's possible. But you might ask Manwe if you are so desperate."

Bilbo: "Hmm. I might have to do that.... But that will be later. Back to chess for now. It's still your move."

Gandalf: "What? Oh, yes! Chess...."

*(sorry for the length)*

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Gandalf: What's the matter, Bilbo?

Bilbo: You know when you blew my door through my hole and out through the side of the hill?

Gandalf: Yes...

Bilbo: Well, you also knocked out the toilets.

OR

Gandalf: What's that light?

Bilbo: Oh, nothing, don't worry. It's nothing.

Gandalf: Wait a minuet! That’s my cart! On fire! FRODO! I told you to look after the cart!

[Lhunardawen]

Bilbo and Gandalf add a twist to the good ol' staring contest.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Bilbo (thinks): If I smile and stare at him, eventually he'll go away.

OR

Gandalf: Grandpa, what big teeth you have!

Bilbo (turns into a werewolf): The better to eat you with!

OR

Bilbo (thinks): Just keep smiling . . . he won't notice you just broke Shadowfax's leg.

OR

Bilbo (thinks): Why is he still here? My face is tiring already. Why won't he go away?

OR

Gandalf: Bilbo, why is my cloak pink? What did you do to it?

Bilbo: Why, nothing!

[Lalwendë]

Bilbo: "Yippee! I love it when you Big People come to visit! it means you bring Big Food! Look at this Iced Bun, it's a foot long! And that cabbage is bigger than Lotho Sackville-Baggins's head!"



OR

For Phoenix Nights fans:


Gandalf: "Garlic Bread?!"

Bilbo: "It's the future!"

[Kath]

Gandalf: Bilbo Baggins! Whoopie cushions are not amusing!



- - - - -
I'm on Taniquetil! :D :D

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Bilbo can't wait to test out the new rockets he has installed in Gandalf's chair without his knowlege.

[Bêthberry]

Bilbo: 'Yes, yes, very good, right away, of course, mem Sahib."

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Bilbo: You didn't?

Gandalf: I did! I told Saruman if he wants to keep his whites white, he’d have to stop putting it in with the colours. All that Saruman of many colours stuff, poppycock!

Bilbo: Ohhh! I can imagine his face!

[The Only Real Estel]

Gandalf: "You guessed wrong."

Bilbo: "You only think I guessed wrong! That's what's so funny! I switched glasses when your back was turned! Ha ha! You fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders! The most famous is never get involved in a land war in Asia, but only slighly less well-known is this: never go in against a hobbit when the last meat pie is on the line!! Ha ha ha ha ha!! Ha ha--"

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Bilbo didn't know weather to be happy or sad when Gandalf told him that The Ring was made of chocolate.

OR

Bilbo: Gandalf the grey! Don't take me for some cooker of cheep cakes! I am not trying to poison you! I'm trying to help you!

[Gurthang]

Far into the future, someone stumbles upon a old, worn-out original of the FotR. The movie is almost too brittle to play, but they watch it, and fall in love. Moral of the story: Tolkien's world will always be loved. :D

OR

Gandalf: "Bilbo, are you alright?"
Bilbo(trying to act macho): "Oh, yes, I'm fine. It didn't hurt at all." *cringe from pain*

OR

Bilbo can't help but laugh when he notices that a rat is residing in Gandalf's beard.

OR

Bilbo, in a stroke of genius, replaced himself with a cardboard cut-out. The result is Gandalf sitting there talking to it for two days.

[Holbytlass]

Bilbo can't help but laugh when he notices that a rat is residing in Gandalf's beard.

Just an observation, with all that food lying around, I'm surprised there aren't rats everywhere.

[Oddwen]

Gandalf: Why are you smiling?
Bilbo: I am not left-handed.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Bilbo smiles as Gandalf reveals a new picture.

http://img-nex.theonering.net/images/scrapbook/9175.jpg

Denathor: Keep looking! That needle is in here somewhere!

OR

Faramir: I'm not dead!

Denathor: You will be in a minuet!

Faramir: I feel happy! I feel happy!

Denathor: Shut up you!

[The Perky Ent]

Little did the Gondorians know that what they would burning would actually turn out to be the ent wives.


or


Denethor: Order! ORDER! Yes, thank you. The first annual meeting of Pyromaniacs Anonymous has come to order.

[Kitanna]

Denethor: Now tell me, where is the hidden rebel base!

Or

Denethor was like any father, he liked to make sure his son was sleeping soundly, so he could light his bed on fire.

[mormegil]

Pippin: Denethor! It's dangerous to start such a fire inside. The Fire Marshall would be furious if he knew.

or

Denethor revived Faramir using CPR so that he would be alive for his impending pyre.

[Kath]

The guy in the front: You see young Halfling, this is but a passing stage. My lord will get over his need to see his son die in just a moment, you'll see, there's no need to get stressed.

Pippin: This is normal!?! :eek:

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Pippin: Isn't this a little harsh?

Denathor: Not at all! Now, Faramir, apologise for bringing me cold tea!

OR

Denathor: Setting Faramir on fire will be the best April fools joke ever!

Pippin: Where is the joke?

Denathor: You and your technicalities!

[The Perky Ent]

Unfortunatly, Smokey the Bear wouldnt' be lecturing in Gondor until the day after

or

Denethor: Now remember boys! For the history book: Me and Faramir single handedly killed all the orcs, and we killed Sauron (remember boys, that's a key one). But then, we were betrayed by Aragorn, and he burned our bodies! You got all that?

Guard: Uhh...

Denethor: Ok. It's not that hard. Can you give me a hand here? *guard walks over* *Denethor super glues the guard to the fire* The guard tripped! You all saw it

[Boromir88]

Pippin becomes a member of Denethor's new cult.

Or...

Denethor: Faramir, before I burn you alive, I want to tell you something....I am your father!


Or...

Denethor: Any last requests before you die?

Faramir: You lay Pippin to burn beside me.

Pippin: What...NO!

Or...

Faramir: Dad why's there smoke in here? And why am I covered in oil? And why am I laying on a pyre?

Fangurls: (watching) OMG!!! Faramir in oil!!!

Denethor: Must you ask so many questions...hush and go to sleep

[Anguirel]

The lengths Faramir would take to avoid service in the Gondor Cadet Corps were, by any standards, impressive.

[The Perky Ent]

Faramir was debating his choice for Pledge week

or

Pippin: No! Stop! Stop burning him!

Legolas: My danger senses are tingling! To the tombs!

*two minutes later*

Legolas: Oh my Gosh! Denethor is going to burn Faramir

Faramir: :rolleyes: on second thought, keep it comming!

[malkatoj]

DENETHOR: What makes you think she is a witch?
GUARD #1: Well, she turned me into a BALROG!
DENETHOR: A... balrog?
GUARD #1: I got better...
GUARD #2: Burn her anyway!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Faramir: I'll bet Boromir never had this trouble.

OR

Guard: Stop everything! My cat is in here somewhere!

Denathor: Aww, well, be quick about it.

OR yet!

Denathor: Now Gandalf, you'll never uncloak again will you?

Faramir: For the last time! I'm not Gandalf!

Denathor: Keep your forked tong behind your teeth! Oh yeah! I always wanted to say that!

[The Saucepan Man]

Denethor was determined not to let something as minor as a Siege ruin his Guy Fawkes celebrations.

[Lalwendë]

Pippin: "No, sorry, this is just pathetic. You could at least have made the effort to make a Wicker Man."

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Faramir would often lie on his back, letting his pet hedgehog Ralph snuffle about him; unfortunately, that's just what he was doing on the day Ralph unexpectedly sprouted to mammoth proportions.

[Formendacil]

On his first day with the Gondorian Police, Pippin comes upon the remains of the Second Little Pig's House of Sticks.

Soldier Policeman: "Clearly, this Second Little Pig did not run to his brother's house. Can we attribute his death to the wolf?"

Coroner Denethor, bending over 'the Second Little Pig': "There are no wounds on the body. It must have been the shock."

[Lalwendë]

Denethor: "Confess! It was you who stole my last bottle of Old Winyards. I can smell it on your breath, son! How far do we have to go before you confess?"

Faramir: "Never! It washn't me. It wash Boromir what did it! Hic. "

[Gil-Galad]

Gaurd: We found a witch may we burn him?

Denethor: how do you know hes a witch?

Guard2: he turned me into a newt!

Denethor: a newt?

Guard2:...i got better

[The Elf-warrior]

Denethor: "I will keep my promise Faramir, I will not prolong your existence in a coma. We will be cremated just as soon as we're good and soaked with oil."

Pippin: "He's not dead! You haven't let him have proper treatment!"

Denethor: "Quit your fanaticism, Halfling! Death is actually a beautiful thing. He wouldn't want to live this way and I can't bear to live without him. Thus I will die side by side with him."

[Alcarillo]

Faramir would often lie on his back, letting his pet hedgehog Ralph snuffle about him; unfortunately, that's just what he was doing on the day Ralph unexpectedly sprouted to mammoth proportions.

Pippin: Wait! He's still alive!

Denethor: Nonsense. Ralph's spikes have impaled him! *sob*

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Faramir would often lie on his back, letting his pet hedgehog Ralph snuffle about him; unfortunately, that's just what he was doing on the day Ralph unexpectedly sprouted to mammoth proportions.

Happy 300 Crazy Captions post, Eomer! :D

On to a caption;

Pippin: Wouldn't it be funny if Faramir nodded his head now? :D

[Gurthang]

Denethor: "Wow! I can see my reflection in his eye!"

OR

Pippin: "Well, it's nice that you all are building me a hut, but why is Faramir lying on top of it?"

OR

Pippin: "So, uh, what's through that Black Door of Nothingness?"

OR

Pippin: "Anything I can do to help?"
Guard: "Yes, you'll make excellant kindling."

OR

Guy with torch: "Hey, look at me! I've got a cool torch!"
Guard #1: "Well, uh...uhm.... I've got a bundle of twigs!"
Guy #1: "Oh, yeah!" *picks up a couple bundles* "Well I've got two!"
*Mad rush for the newest collectable craze: bundled twigs*
Guy with torch: "Well, I still have a torch!"
Guard #1: "Oh, that is so five minutes ago! Bundled twigs are in!"

OR

Denethor is having a staring match with the unconcious Faramir.

[Boromir88]

The wolves take their next victim during the night.

[Lhunardawen]

Denethor had always wanted to stage Sleeping Beauty.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

The Rath Dinen spa.

[The Only Real Estel]

The punishment for 'disloyalty': Listen to Hoobastank's The Reason once or lie on a bed of razor-sharp pieces of wood for three days. Most people choose the wood.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Faramir had held strong throughout torture in the comfy chair, but how long would he last in.....the soft bed! :eek:

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Denathor: Gangrene of the leg, eh? Well, the only way to amputate a leg is through the mouth.

Faramir: You're not a real doctor are you?

Denathor: How dare you! Boromir never criticized me when I castrated him.

Faramir: Yes, but he had a stomach ulcer.

[The Only Real Estel]

Faramir had used one too many 'on pins & needles' puns for his own good.

[Bêthberry]

Denethor discovers they've got the wrong witch. "This isn't Joan of Arc," he cries.

[malkatoj]

Denethor: This Faramir is no more! It has ceased to be!

Pippin: He's just resting his eyes!

Denethor: This is an ex-Faramir!

[The Only Real Estel]

Here a secret camera has caught Denethor trying to sacrifice his insurance claims adjuster.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Denethor had always wanted to stage Sleeping Beauty. (Lhunabells) Actually, Denethor wanted the role of Prince Charming.

[Gurthang]

Seeing Faramir clinging to the chandlier(sp), his body guards had the bright idea of placing a pile of sticks to break his fall. Yeah, it broke something, alright.
Guards: "Hurry! We need more sticks!"
Pippin: "Uh, guys? I think he already fell."
Guards: *ignore Pippin and continue to pile sticks*

OR

Faramir made a bad choice of where to take a nap.

OR

I believe this groups collective IQ is about 12. Right, not 120; 12. Just look at them playing hide-and-seek. They just can't seem to find Faramir anywhere. :p

[Hookbill the Goomba]

This is the only remedy know to help someone who had seen Gandalf the Grey uncloaked.

OR

Denathor: Just admit it! Balrogs DO have wings!

Faramir: Never!

[arcticstorm]

Denethor: "Tonight we taste man Flesh!!"

[The Saucepan Man]

Denethor: Post a new picture or Faramir's toast.

http://www.lordotrings.com/images/movies/bakshi.jpg

Gandalf found that being a Wizard came in handy when he was stuck for matches and in desperate need of a puff of pipeweed.

(Edit: I thought I'd leave the obvious one to someone else ... ;) )

[Lalwendë]

The Lord of the Scooters! This animated feature follows the wacky and weird adventures of Gandalf, coolest Wizard on Willow Drive, as he travels the length of the street avenging baddies and fighting primordial beasts on his special push-along-scooter, cunningly fashioned by his Dad, from old, second hand magical swords.

[Anguirel]

Don't tempt me Saruman...I mean Saucie...

And THE LORD came down upon the Hobbitites, and he smote them. And the people quailed.

And He said, "I am THE LORD. Admire my new pointy blue hat, or thou shalt be smitten once more..."

[Lalaith]

Sam: Oh no, not again. Since we came on this quest it's just been one Glam-dring after another.
Frodo: Of course, what he doesn't realise is that the pun is mightier than the sword.

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Little Red Hobbithood: Oh Wizard, what a big sword you have!

[mormegil]

PJ never did portray Gandalf's "point of death" as well as the animated version.

or

Frodo is perplexed to see large text mysteriously floating in the air above Gandalf

Frodo: My, Sauron has become very powerful indeed.

[Bêthberry]

The little hobbit was confused. Somehow "Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your long beard" just didn't seem to fit.

[Holbytlass]

I thought I'd leave the obvious one to someone else ... ;) )

Yes, yes, we all know that Gandalf is overcompensating something but there were no sportscars in Middle-Earth!

[Gurthang]

Frodo and Sam seriously hope that Gandalf doesn't do what he's known to do, especially after this sudden exponential growth.

OR

Frodo and Sam watch in horror as a giant The Lord of the Rings drops out of the sky straight for Gandalf!

OR

Gandalf turned his body into a tornado.

OR

Gandalf(refering to last picture): "You dolts! Even I can see Faramir; he's right there." *points*

[Oddwen]

Gandalf: Look over there!

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Gandalf hated children.

or

Gandalf may have been accounted the Wisest in Middle-earth, but he always fell for Frodo's static electricity finger-trick.

or

Gandalf laughs in mockery at the Gods who would bind him to the laws of physics; for he was standing on a cloud!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Gandalf: Look over there if you don't want to see me uncloaked! :D

OR

Gandalf: LOOK! A winged Balrog! It’s impossible!

Or yet!

Gandalf: When my beard gets to the length of my Sword, It'll take on a life of its own!

[The Only Real Estel]

Armed with a sword and a laser pistol, Druken Gandalf was a sight to behold.

[The Saucepan Man]

Moses Brandybuck: Well, we're fine with most of these Commandments, Lord Gandalf, but we draw the line at: "Thou shalt walk abroad uncloaked".

[Kitanna]

Hobbit children always hated visits from Uncle Gandalf.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Gandalf: Who put these letters in the sky?

OR

Merry: So that’s where all our Ent draughts went!

[Formendacil]

And we have, at long last, photographic... er paint-o-graphic proof of Gandalf the Grey uncloaked.

(For the terribly dense among us... there is no visible clothing under that beard)

[gralin musicteeth]

Gandalf: E.T. phone HOME!!

(p.s. I know that sucked, but look at his finger. It's kind of like E.T.... :rolleyes: )

[mormegil]

Both Sam and Frodo are shocked to see that the Wizard they are following is neither Gandalf the Grey nor Gandalf the White but one of the blue wizards recently returned from the east.

[CaptainofDespair]

Gandalf had become what the Hobbits always feared...much, much larger than them.

[Lalwendë]

Gandalf hurriedly squirted a whole bottle of Tippex into the sky as some large red letters appeared which he was afraid might alert Sauron to his presence.


OR



Gandalf: "Sam. Frodo. No need for fear. We shall descend Caradhras in no time at all by catching hold of this price tag which Legolas has left attached to his cloak and hitching a free ride."

[Gil-Galad]

Sam: look Mr.Frodo its one of those Ninja Wizards that Boromir was talking about

[The Elf-warrior]

Gandalf: "Go home, children, a storm of Mordor is coming!"

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Gandalf (in deep booming voice): Now, where are those onions that Bilbo needed chopped?

[Oddwen]

Gandalf pulls a Disco move! Boromir is not impressed! More at 11!

[The Only Real Estel]

The villagers felt fairly safe with their rather large, well-armed Guardian, but, at the same time, he was just a little bit unsettling.

edit: I see I have joined the illustrious Crazy Caption 300-Post Club...

[Beanamir of Gondor]

Originally posted by the Saucepan Man:
I thought I'd leave the obvious one to someone else ...

Sam: So, Gandalf... I see that your Schwartz is as big as mine. But do you know how to use it?

[Bêthberry]

Gandalf attempts to turn a sword into ploughshares, without much luck.

[malkatoj]

GANDALF: None shall pass.
BALROG: What?
GANDALF: None shall pass.
BALROG: I have no quarrel with you, good Sir Wizard, but I must
cross this bridge.
GANDALF: Then you shall die.
BALROG: I command you as Balrog of the Britons to stand aside!
GANDALF: I move for no man.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Gandalf: I demand-eth a new picture!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v604/hukbillgoomba/Crazy%20captions/bilbo_gandalfparty.jpg

Bilbo shows Gandalf the Crazy Captions thread.

Gandalf: I do not uncloak that often!

Bilbo: *cough* yeah, *cough*

OR

Gandalf: And if I put my hand in this magic box of mystery I'll find the Ring of power? Not a mouse trap like last time!

Bilbo: Oh, why would you think that? :D

[Mithalwen]

this is what I thought was obvious for the previous one....

On refelction it had been a mistake to entrust the restoration of the Sistine Chapel to a Tolkien fan....

[The Saucepan Man]

Gandalf was unimpressed by Bilbo's "smokin' head" party trick. :smokin:

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

Since Bogart wouldn't be born for several thousand years, Gandalf was forced to resort to frowning meaningfully.

[Glirdan]

Gandalf: So, you told the Wraiths how to use MapQuest and that's how they got to Rivendell!?!?!?

Bilbo: Yep!! :D

Gandalf: You know what, I finally figured something out. I don't hate MapQuest, I hate you!!!! :mad:

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Gandalf is not impressed with Bilbo's five-mile long pipe.

OR

Bilbo: I know you must get this all the time, but, do Balrogs have wings?

Gandalf: I'm not sure. It may have been a shadow, or wings, I wasn't concentrating.

[Kath]

Gandalf wonders whether to tell Bilbo that his head is on fire.

[The Saucepan Man]

Bilbo: (through gritted teeth): Hlllp mm Gnndlff!

Gandalf: My dear Mr Baggins, if you choose to put live electrical wires in your mouth, then you really only have yourself to blame.

[luthien-elvenprincess]

Bilbo looks to see if Gandalf is enjoying the evenings performance of "Chorus Girls" by the Hobbiton Girls Glee Club. (complete with high kicks...as high as a little hobbit leg can kick anyway!)

[Oddwen]

Bilbo*elbowing Gandalf*: Lookit that Only Real Estel, 'e's got three hundred posts in this thread. Bet you can't say as much.

Gandalf: Let him keep his infamy. I am the subject of a thousand topics, a thousand thoughts, and a thousand...

Bilbo: ...Captions. But only one joke.

Gandalf: *harrumph*

Or...

Bilbo: I should have another drink. It makes you so witty.

Or...

Bilbo: The Old Ones were right..."Stairway to Heaven" makes perfect sense if you're stoned!

[The Elf-warrior]

Bilbo: "You know Gandalf, it really isn't fair for a Maia to compete in a smoke ring contest with a Hobbit."

[mormegil]

Bilbo: (in a taunting singing voice) I found the ring--You didn't!!! Neener neener neener!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Gandalf isn't convinced that tiddlywinks is the 'exciting and indescribably fantastic' game that Bilbo had led him to believe.

OR

Bilbo’s annual staring competition with a fly had lost the massive audiences it once pulled in.

[Holbytlass]

Gandalf: You know, Bilbo, you could really use a trim.
Bilbo: Hmm?

[Oddwen]

Bilbo: Hey Gandalf, would you help me with my pickup lines?

Gandalf: Um, sure.

Bilbo: 'kay, here goes...

Do you believe in the hereafter? Well, then I guess you know what I'm here after.

Are your legs tired? Because you've been running through my mind all day long.

There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.

Do you have a map? Because I just keep getting lost in your eyes!

If I had a garden I'd put your two lips and my two lips together.

Excuse me, my mouth hurts will you kiss it?

Hey beautiful...that is your name right?

You're so beautiful, you're burned into my retina. I see you every time I blink.

Do you believe in fairytales, because one is about to start.

I've counted all the stars before, but I think I've missed two. They're in your eyes.

A song from your lips is an aria from heaven.

Are you going to kiss me or do I have to lie to my diary?

Baby, you must be a broom, cause you just swept me off my feet.

By the way the light is hitting your eyes, I can see myself in them, and
dang, I look good!

Do you mind if I stare at you up close instead of from across the room?

Excuse me, but I think I dropped something!!! MY JAW!!

Hey, don't frown - you'll never know who might be falling in love with your
smile.

Hey, come here often? You could, with me.

Hi, are you here to meet a nice man or will I do?

I would love to be your tears, to be born in your eyes, live on your cheeks
and to die on your lips.

Inheriting twenty million bucks doesn't mean much when you have a weak
heart.

It's not my fault I fell in love. You are the one that tripped me.

My lips are registered weapons.

Oh no, I'm choking! I need mouth to mouth, quick!

Ok, I'm here, what are your other two wishes?

Why do you have to be so beautiful every single day? Can't you take a break and let me concentrate on something else for a change?

I wish I was cross-eyed so I could see you twice.

You're like a dictionary - you add meaning to my life!

You're ugly but you intrigue me.
Gandalf: Egads, no wonder he's still a bachelor...


(Sorry...I've been waiting to use those...and no, I've never experienced any of them.)

[Lalaith]

When summoned before the White Council, Gandalf claimed that while he had tried Longbottom Leaf in his youth in the west that is forgotten, he had never inhaled.
Bilbo knew different, and what's more - as he reminded his old friend - he had the pictures to prove it.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Gandalf: I don't understand!

Bilbo: oh come on now! It's not that hard! Just push the clutch down before changing gear. Then there won’t be so much smoke.

[The Perky Ent]

Bilbo: Look at me! I'm Perky, the pipe weed pusher!

Gandalf: Hush now! We'll have no more of that until WWXII


or

Gandalf: Do you realize that your pipe is bigger than your stunt double?


or simply, Bilbo: :smokin:

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Gandalf had to admit that Bilbo's moustache was, at least, an original style.

[Boromir88]

Bilbo boasts he has the longest pipe in all Middle-earth.

Gandalf: Mine's bigger

[THE Ka]

Gandalf begins to wonder no more as Bilbo's 'new' pipe begins to look more and more like his...


Or...

Bilbo: Say it...

Gandalf: I am Gandalf the cloa...

Bilbo: Say it!

Gandalf: Fine! I am Gandalf the Un-Cloaked!

Bilbo: You know, all these self-confidence seminars are going to pay off one day...

Gandalf: Yes, and you'll still owe me two crates of pipeweed...

~ Aesthete

[Gurthang]

Gandalf keeps Bilbo distracted while someone pushes a stick towards his exposed nose.

OR

Bilbo: "Oh, Santa, I want a barrel of Old Winyards, and I want to see the Lonely Mountain again, and I want a barrel of pipeweed... no TWO barrels... No, a field of pipeweed!... NO! All the pipeweed fields in the Shire! :eek:

Gandalf: "I think you've had a bit much..."

OR

Gandalf finds it difficult to stay awake as Bilbo tells him about his experiments with mushrooms and wine.

Bilbo: "And then I planted some of Maggot's 'shrooms and watered them with my father's 1296. They turned into this peculiar pinkish-purple plant. It really wasn't that great, but looks good on the table... I think next I'll try..."

[The Only Real Estel]

Gandalf: "Pssst! Bilbo! What's your WW role?"

Bilbo: "Now, that is the question of the hour, isn't it?"

[mormegil]

Bilbo: (snickering) I can't tell if it's the pipe-weed or the Hobbit in my, but MAN I've got the munchies.

Gandalf: Good grief.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Bilbo: You know, if you died your beard green and laid down on the grass, you'd be invisible.

Gandalf: I think you've had too much pipe weed.

OR

Gandalf didn't know how to react to the news that Tom Bombadill was, in fact, Bilbo in disguise.

Gandalf: And I bet you’re really proud of yourself. All that stuff about 'before the dark Lord came form outside' stuff was just nonsense.

[Boromir88]

Bilbo talks about giving all the hobbit children pipe weed.

Gandalf: You're the drug-lord of Hobbiton? I never knew! How could I let this go under my very nose for such a long time?

[The riders of Rohaan]

THE PRICE OF WEED IS INCREASING
Gandalf: Bilbo please can I smoke some weed?
Bilbo: No my weed go away
Gandalf: Please
Bilbo: You kow how expensive weed is getting? I can hardly afford it now.
(That explains gandalf's sad face).
Bilbo: Why don't you try cotton candy?
Gandalf: :mad:
Bilbo: :D

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Gandalf senses that Bilbo is about to make him an offer he can't refuse.

[Lhunardawen]

(Oddwen, if only you have seen how much I shivered as I read through that caption of yours... :eek: )

Bilbo comes up with a new way to make his hair grow like Gandalf's.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Gandalf: I'm actually a spy for Sauron, y'know? Now, tell me where the Ring is, or I'll stick this up your nose.

[dancing spawn of ungoliant]

A huge real life Werewolf game wasn't exactly what Gandalf had had in mind when Bilbo spoke of "a night to remember"...

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Bilbo: Hey, look over there.

Gandalf: Please, not another badger. I'm scared of badgers.

[Glirdan]

Bilbo: Look!!! An obvious distraction!!!

Gandalf: Where!?!?

[The Only Real Estel]

Bilbo: "Don't play innocent with me Gandalf! I know you were watching her dance tonight...nice girl. Hair as blue as cold tea and eyes as blonde as a three-day-old muffin..."

Gandalf: "I think it's time to put down the pipe, Bilbo."

[HerenIstarion]

Bilbo: I tell you!
Gandalf: Hm-m?
Bilbo: Come on, Gandalf, I tell you the oliphaunt Gollum promised to give me if I won in the riddle game had a tusk this long! Or maybe even longer! He said his granny gave him that oliphaunt!
Gandalf (thinking): He thinks I'll buy it, like If I don't know what Gollum may have had on his lake! He thinks I'm slow or what?. Heh, I know it was a boar, not an oliphaunt!

[The Only Real Estel]

Bilbo: "Ah, yes, Gandalf. If there's one thing I've learned it's that nothing ever comes easy. I told Frodo he'd have to work for everything he wanted, that's the way it should be. By the way, how's your lottery ticket looking?"

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Bilbo: I have to tell you Gandalf! I think you need to grow a beard.

Gandalf: I think we need a new picture.

http://img-nex.theonering.net/images/scrapbook/11564.jpg

The Witch King... ... uncloaked?

OR

Gollum sees a rather unflattering statue of himself and has to restrain himself from leaping out in protest.

[The Only Real Estel]

Gollum sees a rather unflattering statue of himself and has to restrain himself from leaping out in protest.

And it looks like Sam is loving it. :D

Frodo, Gollum, & Sam comes across hundreds of Orcs breakdancing.

Gollum: “Stupid Mapquest! This was supposed to be the Green Day concert!”

[Hookbill the Goomba]

And it looks like Sam is loving it. :D

I think Sam built it. :D

Anyway,

A new starbucks opens in Minas Morgul. Gollum is annoyed, as it was where his favourite bookshop once was. :(

[dancing spawn of ungoliant]

Gollum: There he is!
Frodo: Where?
Gollum: There!
Sam: What? Behind the rabbit?
Gollum: It is the rabbit!

or

The wolves had agreed. Gothmog would die toNIGHT.

[Formendacil]

Frodo, Sam, and Gollum did not find the best hiding place in Hide and Seek.

[Boromir88]

Gollum: Ack! How are we going to get past all these orcses?

Sam: Good news.

Gollum: What?

Sam: I just saved a bunch of money on my care insurance by switching to Geico!

Frodo: (rolls eyes)

[CaptainofDespair]

The Hobbit Doughboys are preparing to go over the wall, and charge headlong into the Orc lines. Who will die? Who will live? None know, until the firing ceases. But, forever they will remain friends, bonded together by a war of epic proportion.

[mormegil]

Gollum: I've found it! I've found my precious!

Frodo: What do you mean?

Gollum: My precious master, I've founds it. After many years of searching I've finally found my precious

Frodo: Do you mean the ring? Because you've known that's with me for quite some time now.

Gollum: No my real precious, my wig that the orces stole from me, do you see that orc, he has my precious wig, I wants it I shall get it.

Sam: *snicker* *mutters* wig!

[The Perky Ent]

Frodo had no time for Aunt Polly's chores, as he wanted to play with Huck....I mean, Gollum, in Mount Doom.

or

Sam always cried when he realized he wasn't part of Gollum's popular clique.

or

Once again, Sam loses the eye bulging contest!

[Bêthberry]

Gollem hoped he would win the bet with Frodo and Sam on who would get drenched in the old bucket over the doorway prank.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Gollum sees and old rival.

Frodo: Bilbo?

OR

None of them believed their eyes when they saw how Sauron’s kitchens were run by... Rhinos?

[Lalwendë]

Hobbits and Hoodies.

You daren't park your car anywhere near Minas Morgul after the Witch King left.

OR

With the help of that handy rock, Gollum is about to show Frodo and Sam how he got his ASBO.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

To which Gothmog insisted: "Oh no they're not!"

or

Sam told Gollum that they wouldn't be welcome at Sauron's slumber party, but did he listen? No...

[Glirdan]

I think Sam built it.

Gollum: Why you nassty filthy little Hobbit!! How dare you!!!

Frodo: And how does that make you feel?

[The Elf-warrior]

Gollum: "I told you the Black Gate was a nassty place."

[The Only Real Estel]

The three wolves watched the daily unsuccesful lynching with varying amounts of subtlety.

[malkatoj]

Frodo: He's got very good arms.
Gollum: He didn't fall? Inconceivable!
Sam: You keep using that word...I do not think it means what you think it means. ...my God...he's climbing...
Gollum: Whoever he is, he's obviously seen us with the Ring and must therefore die. Frodo, carry the ring. We'll head straight for the base of Mount Doom. Sam, catch up when he's dead. If he falls, fine, if not...shake a light at him.



Edit: 42nd post. Sweet.

[Lalwendë]

Sam was on the verge of tears as he got to the summit of the Stairs of Cirith Ungol and realised that the Shelob's Lair ale house at the top was closed for refurbishment.

[Holbytlass]

Everyone hide, Hookbill is coming......
Frodo: Now remember, Gollum, wait till he's inside to jump and shout "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GOOMBA!"

[Boromir88]

Gollum: Agggh! They stole my chipses!

Sam: I knew it! You liked them!

Gollum: Shut-up stupid hobbit, not it's business.

[The Perky Ent]

Look behind Sam. Since when were there flowers in Mordor?

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Frodo: OK, here's the plan: You rush to the gate shouting, 'For Frodo!' Then, while the guards are distracted, I sneak up past them and go on into Mt. Doom.

Sam: Hey, how come we have to be the decoy?

Frodo: Cos I wrote this book.

Sam: But get to write in this book, too!

Frodo: No, you get to write the part of the book after I leave.

Gollum: What about me? Do I get to write in this book, too?

Frodo: No. Actually, you died in the book.

Gollum: I did? That's very nice. I'm off this quest now.

[The riders of Rohaan]

Huh its the race to the finish. its the wold famous survivor game.
Gollum: I reached first u'll suck.
Frodo: Not if i can help it.
Sam: I am gonna slip really soon.
Frodo: We don't care its the race to the finish
Gollum: I WIN.
Sam: BYE BYE
[sam falls off]
Sad ending i know

[Lalwendë]

It was Freshers' Week at the University of Mordor and after a drunken night down the Student Union, Gollum and his two new pals from the Hobbit Soc are about to steal some traffic cones from the roadworks at Isenmouthe.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Frodo: Are you sure this is the line to Hogwarts?

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Everyone had different reactions to Minas Morgul being turned into a giant bouncy castle.

OR

The Witch King's new job as a children’s party clown didn't go down so well this time.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

When Faramir sang Nursery Rhymes whilst brushing his hair, it really freaked out his guests.

or

When Faramir couldn't figure out which spoon to eat his soup with, it really embarrassed his guests.

or

When Faramir got drunk and started groping revellers at the annual Ithilien Ceilidh, it really mortified his guests.

or

When Faramir started making bets about how long he could hold a lit match on his tongue, it really scared his guests.

and, once more,

When Faramir settled down to bed with a dozen teddy-bears.....it really freaked out his guests.

[Sleepy Ranger]

Upon spotting the Witch-King.

Frodo- Scar-ee! With a double 'e'!
Sam- Heh, We can take him! Its just a big invisible guy on a dragon like thingy. I eat them for breakfast.
Gollum- Frodo, this may not be the best time to tell you but... I AM YOUR FATHER!

[The Only Real Estel]

Gollum was in no mood to move from behind the cover of the rock until that meddling goblin gave him back his loincloth.

[Gothmog]

Frodo: That thing we're staring at...is that a security cam?
Gollum: Whoops, told you those filthyyy orcses guards Mordor...
Sam: (after too many Mordorian Mushrooms) ooohhhh, caaaaameera...heeeheeee

[Gurthang]

Frodo, Sam and Gollum happen upon a mirage in the middle of Mordor.

Frodo: "What's that! A table full of food! We're saved!"
Gollum: "We can't eat hobbit food!"
Sam: "I think Mordor just turned into heaven!"

OR

Gollum reaches the top of the climbing wall first, with Frodo a close second, and Sam bringing up the rear.

OR

Sam: "Why do I have to carry all the bags? Do I look like a donkey to you?!"

OR

The three werewolves sneak up on their next victim.

OR

Sam: "Gollum, I really wish you'd either let me go first, or put on some pants! I can't stand being behind you anymore!"

[Hookbill the Goomba]

At the top of the stairs of Cirath Ungol, Sam, Frodo and Gollum find the lift (or elevator for all ye Americans out there).

[Mithalwen]

Only Sam still believes that Daleks can't go upstairs...

[luthien-elvenprincess]

While sneaking up from underneath, this trio was hoping to hook a peek at the Mordorian Young Ladies Hula-Hula Society as they went to their post-practice showers; therefore, great was their disappointment as they viewed, instead, the Morannon Black Guard Jitterbugging Guild at an endurance workout.

[The Only Real Estel]

Gollum: "Minas Morgul!"

Sam: "Oh, great..."

Frodo (thinking): I think that hot blonde makeup girl is checking me out!

[mormegil]

Gollum: Precious they are replacing us! We hates him.

http://www.fantastika.lt/img/BoromirAragorn.jpg

Aragorn: Legolas, how could you do that! Don't tell Boromir that you're sexier than he is. You know how sensitive he can get, after all he's from Gondor. Now if he fails in his mission it's your fault.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Boromir is caught red handed pick pocketing Aragorn.

OR

Aragorn: Come, Boromir, we must go... ... ... Boromir! Come!... ... Oh no! Everyone Boromir has gone seen Gandalf the Grey uncloaked! :eek:

[luthien-elvenprincess]

Reminiscing of the movie Dumb and Dumber, Aragorn and Boromir break into a spirited rendition of Mocking Bird.

[Boromir88]

Boromir runs into Pippin who was wearing a metal helmet.

Aragorn: Hey stop laughing...It aint funny!

[Mithalwen]

Boromir's true feelings about Aragorn are revealed when he does what, in another time and place, Vinnie Jones did to Paul Gascoigne.. :eek:

[Anguirel]

Boromir and Aragorn read some Fellowship slash fanfiction...

OR

Boromir and Aragorn show their outrage at being voted off LOTR Survivor

[The Only Real Estel]

Boromir: "I feel pretty, oh so--"

Aragorn: "RUN!!"

[Kitanna]

Boromir has a serious ice cream headche.
or
Aragorn: Pippin! Kicking Boromir in the sweet spot was only funny once!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Aragorn: Ai! Ai! A Balrog is come!

Boromir: Are those wings?

Aragorn: ... ... ...

OR

Boromir: I had no idea that the Eye of Sauron was a real eye!

[Formendacil]

While Aragorn curses profanely at the food-pilfering hobbits, Boromir catches sight of paparazzi filming the whole thing.

[The Only Real Estel]

Teaser poster for a new upcoming movie Crime Doesn't Pay:

Starring Aragorn as Colin D. Copps & Boromir as Hugh R. Busted.

[The Saucepan Man]

Aragorn: Quick! Get a bucket! Boromir's had a heavy session on the Miruvor again!

[mormegil]

Aragorn: Merry, I've told you to stop pantsing Boromir--this is no Hobbit walking party.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Aragorn thought he'd take the throne of Gondor the easy way: by holding Denethor's son hostage and naming his terms.

[Glirdan]

Boromir: How'd we end up here!?!?

Aragorn: Stupid MapQuest!!!!! :mad:

[Hookbill the Goomba]

It wasn't until Amon Hen that they realised Elrond had given them a fake inflatable Boromir instead of the real one.

OR

Legolas: Lembas! Just one small bite can fill the stomach of a full-grown man!

Merry: How many did you eat?

Pippin: Four.

Boromir: 42... ...

Aragorn: RUN!

[Lalwendë]

Boromir: "Mi lady! Fancy a walk in the woods?"

Aragorn: "Gandalf! Will you stop uncloaking? He's hallucinating you're Joely Richardson again!"

[THE Ka]

The trip proved long, and legolas' fangirls were relentless, eventually even the most humane fell to morbid deeds...


Boromir: Is that another group of crazed and starved fangirls?!

Aragorn: Gimli, give me your axe!

Boromir: Remember try not to get bit, we've already seen what happened to Gandalf's modest mentality...


~ No offense Ka

[Beanamir of Gondor]

Originally posted by Lawende:
Aragorn: "Gandalf! Will you stop uncloaking? He's hallucinating you're Joely Richardson again!"

or...

Aragorn: Legolas, will you please tell Gandalf that we CAN see him, even when he's on top of Caradhras?
Boromir: [very softly] Whoa.... this is better than the pointy hat trick.

or...
Boromir: Oh my Eru...they got him...
Aragorn: Legolas, you said those were crebain, not Nazgul!
Legolas: [in background, getting softer] I'll save you, Frodo!

[The Elf-warrior]

Aragorn: "Peregrin Took, you perfidious sneak, how dare you read my love letters!"

Boromir: "Never trust a non-human. That's what I always say."

[mormegil]

Aragron: Sam! I told you to clean up after Bill the Pony, now look what Boromir stepped in.

[Gurthang]

Aragorn: "Call the ambulance! Boromir had some bad Lembas!"
Legolas: "Heh! That's an insult!"

OR

Aragorn: "And in a fair fight, you can't do this...!" (does 'this' to Boromir)
Boromir: "Uhh-oooh..."

OR

Aragorn initially thought that Boromir had taken his beef jerky, but suddenly he realized it had been Pippin. Meanwhile, Boromir is completely bewildered by the situation.

OR

Boromir just has no idea what's going on.

[The Only Real Estel]

Boromir: "Never trust a non-human. That's what I always say."

Reminds me of a Sean Bean movie I just saw...

Aragorn: "I'm Tom Lincoln!"

Boromir: "What? Don't point the frikkin gun at me! I'm Tom Lincoln! He doesn't even look like me!"

[Boromir88]

Boromir swallows the...slug of doom!

[The Only Real Estel]

As a wise BDer once said, "sometimes you're the pigeon and sometimes you're the statue;" a phrase that Aragorn was well aware of, even if Boromir was not.

Boromir: "Look, pigeons."

Aragorn: "Take cover!!"

[Gothmog]

Boromir (being hit in the stomach by an arrow): Ooouuuch. That's not supposed to happen yet...
Aragorn: HEY! Who did that?
Legolas (looking elsewhere): la la la laa.... ME? WHAT? OK then, I thought the safety was on...

OR

Boromir: Stridy, are we there yet? You now, I REALLY need to go now :(
Aragorn: Can we hurry up please?

[Oddwen]

Aragorn: H-all right all you lovely Middle-earthlings, I have here ONE fine Boromir, a real son of Gondor! WhuddamI bid? Let's start at NINE silver pennies, do I hear ten, ten, ten, ten, TEN! Gimmie 'leven 'leven 'leven, alright! What about fifteen? fif' fif' fif' FIFTEEN from the lovely Elf in the plaid tweed jacket! Can I hear twenty, twenty twenty? Fifteen going once, going twice...

Boromir: Father? Are you going to stand for that?

Denethor: Sorry son, that's beyond the budget!

[Gil-Galad]

Aragorn: stay away from the light!

Boromir: but its so beautiful!!!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Aragorn: Look out! A Troll!

Boromir: It's a ping-pong ball on a stick.

P-J: Use your imagination, Sharp

[The Only Real Estel]

Boromir: "You mean...Gurthang wasn't a wolf?"

Aragorn: "Crap!!!"

[Gurthang]

Boromir is very confused by seeing Peter Jackson walking across the snow while talking on a cell phone.
Aragorn: "It must be a device of Sauron! Run!!"

OR

Aragorn just kissed Boromir.
Legolas: "I lied, I'm not paying you anything!"
Aragorn: "Hey! You better!" :mad:
Boromir: :confused:

OR

Boromir suddenly glimpses a sofa running down the mountain.

[mormegil]

Boromir is devastated after he proclaims himself to be the Hunter and Aragorn vehemently claims he is and the village believes 'Gorn.

[Gothmog]

Boromir: What is it Legolas is walking on? He leaves an impression but doesn't sink...
Aragorn: Hey! Who stole all the my custard?

(If this seems strange you must have missed this (http://forum.barrowdowns.com/showthread.php?p=418962#post418962) thread :) )

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Boromir (reading): 'This is PJ . . . I'm making more changes to the script . . . '

Aragorn: Hey! If Arwen's going to Helm's Deep, who'll weave my King's Banner now?

Boromir: I think Glorfindel would.

[Boromir88]

Aragorn and Boromir are in the new Pepto-Bismol commercial...

Aragorn: What are you kidding me? I'm not doing that!

Boromir: Come on Aragorn...nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, diarrhea...Yay Pepto Bismol!

[Holbytlass]

"That's what we're running from?!"
http://www.hollywoodjesus.com/movie/lotr_fellowship/features/rb_wraith.jpg
Aagh, I want my black hood back!!

[Anguirel]

Downsizing at the Mordorian Ministry of Defence leads to the hiring of Thing One and Thing Two as Nazgul...

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Nazgûl: NOOO!! Gandalf the grey! Uncloaked! *Goes blind*

OR

*Look closely at that horse's chin*

Fear the evil skeleton of Morgul and the bearded horse!

[Mithalwen]

DEATH is furious to find on slipping through a wormhole from Discworld that he has aquired a seriously bad rug and Binky has wings....