Crazy Captions

[Gil-Galad]

*As the hobbit custodian does his rounds, he peeks through a door where the "One ring: The music video" is being filimed*

Sauron: Stop! corrupting time now!

*crazy orcish beepboxing*

Sauron: Can't kill me! na na na na na! ahh my ri-*dies*

[elronds_daughter]

Sauron: To be, or not to be? That is the question....

[Boromir88]

Whilst Frodo is dwindling on the Mount Doom cleft by one hand, Frodo sees Sauron instead of Sam. Don't you dare let go little boy! Reaaaachhh!

[Formendacil]

Sauron: My Precious!!!!

[The Elf-warrior]

Mordor. Always reaching out a helping hand in times of need.

[Elennar Starfire]

Sauron: MY jelly donut! MINE!!!

[Nimrodel_9]

Oh crud! I gots a marshmallow stuck on my finger!

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Sauron: Smell my hand.

[THE Ka]

Sauron: Do you think this shade of black makes my nails look anymore 'mysterious'?? *Does the all-too-common slight twist of the wrist motion associated with nailpolish itself...


~I'm revolting right now. The real Ka will get back to you on a pike...~

[dancing spawn of ungoliant]

Sauron: I said he's being too kind but he insisted buying a 24 carat ring...not to mention nothing about the size of the gem!

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Sauron: "Oh man, am I looking hot tonight!"

[Witch_Queen]

Sauron pic:

looking through the eyes of the Witch King:

Sauron: With this ring I thee wed....



(Every evil person deserves love)

I know its wrong but I couldn't resist.

[Maeggaladiel]

From Sauron's photo album.

"And this one... hmmm, looks like I dropped the camera while the lens cap was off."

[Oddwen]

The Evil Aerobic Workout:

Sauron: And one, and two, and reach, and four...

[Esgallhugwen]

Sauron: Is it hot in here or is just me?

or

Sauron: So you gotta ask yourself one question, do ya feel lucky? Well do ya, punk?!

[Gil-Galad]

Sauron: Hi there ladies, i'm Sauron, you might of heard of me...probaly not, well i am the dark lord you know... i had some bad ring a while back but i think i'm over it...come on? who wants to be queen of mordor for a day?

[Fingolfin II]

Sauron: I think black is so slimming, don't you?

[Hama Of The Riddermark]

http://www.laurelindorenan.com/Last%20Alliance.jpg


Elrond's slideshow: "And this is the time that the minibus punctured a tyre taking us to Mordor"

[THE Ka]

Elrond: Ahh... Look Arwen! It's a picture of you as a wittle baby!!

*Slide Transition...Annoyed Arwen...

Elrond: And this is when...Ah! How did that get in there?!

Arwen laughs mockingly...

Arwen: What? Happy-Elven choir camp?...

Elrond: Shutup...Next slide!


-----------------------

~Ka~

[Boromir88]

When greatly outnumbered Lord Elrond tries intimidation. grrrr

[Meela]

Tempers were frayed and competition became fierce when the Mount Doom store was down to its last packet of Mordor Muffins.

Or

Agent Elrond wished he hadn't fixed the Clone button so close to the Cheap Imitation Girly-Elves button.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

The moment to charge the enemy, an inopportune moment for a coughing fit.

[The Only Real Estel]

Elrond: "Yes, operator, it looks like we have a problem here. Get me through to Valinor so I can speak to the Valar, & quickly!...No I do not know the number!!"

[Boromir88]

Elrond forgot to take his Tums.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Elrond stepps on a nail.

[dancing spawn of ungoliant]

Even back in the 1st Age, rush hours used to make people grumpy.

[Gil-Galad]

Elrond: They can take our lands no longer! we are sons of Scotland!

*everyone stops and looks at him*

Elrond: woops wrong movie...

[Mithalwen]

Elrond: Ok who stole my helmet?

[Mithalwen]

"I said ..'Cast it into the fiaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh" *dislocates jaw*

[The Saucepan Man]

Elf: Ooh, get him!
Other Elf: Oh I know, love. He looks so macho when he gets angry.

[Ainaserkewen]

"Gah! Gosh Darnit, I lost my helmet!"

*Elves snicker at his helmet hair.*

[Esgallhugwen]

Elrond: Get your hand out of the frame you ninny!

[Formendacil]

Elrond: "What do you mean being Gil-galad's herald prohibits me from wearing a helmet??? I'm his Heir! I need a helmet! You saw what happened to Anarion!"

[Fordim Hedgethistle]

Elrond: Fore!

[Fingolfin II]

The Mouth of Sauron will never insult Elrond's mother again.

[Rilwen Gamgee]

[Sauron picture]:

Sauron, trying out his new excercize routine; gettin' fit and groovin' to "The Supremes' GREATEST HITS!" CD.

[Elrond picture]:

Elrond attempts to remove a rather large chunk of lembas from his pre-battle meal that was still stuck in his teeth...

[luthien-elvenprincess]

Elrond: "I saaaid, hoos ya momma...huh...punk!"

[The Only Real Estel]

Random Orc: "Hey eyebrows! I bet one day you'll have a Ranger for a son-in-law!"

Elrond: "I will NOT!!!"

[The Elf-warrior]

Saruman tries to escape Grima's ray gun by jumping into a makeshift space-time warp but fails.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Elrond: ARAGOOOOOOOOOOOOORN!!!! Bring me back my daughter!

[Allotheria]

"it Was Never This Chuffing Cold Filming Priscilla Queen Of The Pigging Desert!!!!!!" :d

[Mithalwen]

Elrond pic

Bored with making glowing swords, the elven craftsmen took up orthodontics..


and a couple for Brits


Elrond din't need a Reach toothbrush because he had a flip-top head

Elrond "TRIO!, treeeoh! I want a trio and I want one now.."

[Maeggaladiel]

Elrond: Hmm? *looks around* What the...ISILDUR! WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT PLAYING WITH THE CLONING MACHINE?!

[Oddwen]

The Sauron pic:

Sauron: Stop! In the name of love!


And the perennial Elrond pic:

Elrond: Disorder! Disorder! Disooooo-ooooo-ooorderrrrrr!

[Mad Baggins]

Sauron: Mommy says I have to hold someone's hand when we go into battle.

Elrond needs some Preparation H.

[Fingolfin II]

Arwen to Elrond: See dad? This is why I didn't tell you I was going out with Aragorn, you always overreact to things.

[Gurthang]

Elrond pic:

In the mad rush for the last piece of cheese, four people stepped on Lord Elrond's bad toe! Behold the power of Cheese. :D

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Elrond: What's with the bloody noise?! Some people are trying to get some beauty sleep here!

[Lalwendë]

The rivalry was so intense at the 1,231st Annual Elven Gurning Competition that Elrond was forced to bring along a contingent of personal bodyguards.

[Lhunardawen]

It's always a baaad idea to make Elves, even Half ones, perspire.

[The Only Real Estel]

Agent Smith was not happy with the 'New-look Agents' idea.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Elrond heard "Tra-la-la-la-valley" one too many times! :p

[Boromir88]

It's that time again
http://thm-a.search.vip.scd.yahoo.com/image/190696552

Gandalf:...And the next thing you know Pippin tips a skeleton in the well awaking a balrog.
Theoden: Fool of a took.
Gandalf: That's what I told him.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Gandalf: I told you before! 400,000 to 1 means the horse is probably NOT going to win!

Theoden: But "No legs" the horse sounded so promising!

[Oddwen]

Gandalf: ...and then I told him that I wanted that particular muffin, but then he got all uptight and told me to shove that muffin into the nearest abyss...

Théoden: ...uhhhh....no more, please...

[Meela]

Gandalf: So, let me see if I've got this right... the stirrup goes around the horse's middle, and the saddle is the piece that attaches the bridle to its... fetlocks?

Theoden: Will someone please bring Grima back now?!

[Gurthang]

Gandalf seriously thinks about slapping Theoden again. :eek:

[elronds_daughter]

As Gandalf launches into yet another opratic song, Theoden hopes to Eru that this one won't have anything to do with the Istari....

[Formendacil]

Theoden: Is anyone else confused? Gandalf is saying that he is Saruman, as he should have been, which means that he's trying to overthrow me and conquer Rohan, and Grima is his servant, but at the same time his name is Gandalf, and he's thrown Grima out, but then again he's taken Grima's place and is now counselling me to lead a possibly suicidal attack on Saruman's (his?) armies. But on the OTHER hand....

****OR****

Theoden hears the joke about the elf, the man, and dwarf going into the bar one too many times...

[THE Ka]

Gandalf: hey... Theoden...

Theoden: What now gandalf?

Gandalf: thanks for the horse!!!

Theoden: *thinks Thanks alot Shadowfax for bringing this brown noser back. Thanks alot...


~Ka~

[Lhunardawen]

As Gandalf talks on and on, Theoden finally felt the effect of the wizard's crazy staff antics earlier.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Gandalf: You must ride out and meet them.

Théoden: No, Gandalf. Pizza Hall delivers direct to Edoras.

[Lalwendë]

Gandalf: ...so I'm waiting there at the Caradhras stop for the next Eagle and he turns up and won't let me on. Says he can't give me change for a gold piece. Honestly, the state of the Public Eagle Service is appalling...

Theoden: For Eru's sake, Gandalf, we get this every time. Just take Shadowfax and I'll have him taxed and insured for you.

[Hama Of The Riddermark]

"No, Gandalf, we're not having burritos and diet coke...I don't CARE, we're not aiming to be economical, we're remembering the dead...no you can't ring Pizza Express...I don't care if they've brought out a new 'double balrog delight low fat crust', we're having a proper meal..." ASOASF

Or

Theoden resigned himself to listening to Gandalf reciting his new book, '101 ways to userp a steward.'

[Gil-Galad]

Theoden: whats he going to do? nibble our bums?

Gandalf: look at the bones! it got huge pointy teeth!

Eomer(in distance): your a loony

Gandalf: i'm warning you!

[The Only Real Estel]

Gandalf: "So then I said, 'Boromir! Do you not understand the words that are coming out of my mouth!?'! But then he said, 'I'm still not sure.', so I said..."

Theoden "*grumble*mumble* 3 hours and counting...*grumble*"

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Gandalf: "Why do they do that? Why do they go crazy over you one night, and then just don't call you back the next morning? What is that all about?


*...or if you don't imagine Gandalf as a bachelor...*


Gandalf: "I know I sound repetitive but you just have to paint your front door again. It looks hideous!"

Theoden (mumbling): "You're hideous...."

[The Only Real Estel]

Gandalf: "So Theoden, what's your preference? Blonde, brunette, or redhead? You know that niece of your's isn't that bad..."

Theoden: "Oh for God's sakes!"

[luthien-elvenprincess]

Gandalf: "...and just lookie at this one, Theoden...just look at it. This blister is about to pop...got it hangin on tight to Shadowfax's mane...didn't want to fall off somewhere in the Rohan wilderness, ya know...be left wandering by myself out there...waiting for Shadowfax to hear my whistle...and you know, you just can't expect those companions I rode in with to cover your back all the time...they got important things to be doing too, ya know...do you think that the Rohirrim Bulla Rub will work as well on hands as it does on the ole bum-cheeks? Man, that burning stopped right away after I used it...I never knew anything could work that fast...Theoden...uh, Theoden?

[The Elf-warrior]

Gandalf: "Go ride out and meet them."

Theoden: (Sighs.) "Are you nuts? This is not a rabble of mindless orcs. These are fighting Uruk-Hai and they outnumber us 10 to 1."

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Gandalf: "Oh my Theoden, just think what I was like at college. To think I get laden with responsibility these days as well!

Theoden (mumbling): "Oh God, the college stories again..."

[Boromir88]

Hama: The paparazzi would like to have another word with you King Theoden.
Theoden: :sighs, bows head: Not again. Tell them to go away.
Gandalf: The Enemy is on your doorstep. Where is Rohan's security?

[Hama Of The Riddermark]

http://www.ninecompanions.net/funnypics/final/elrond_disgust.JPG


Elrond was regretting seeing exactly how there was life in Aragorn and Arwen's future...

[Oddwen]

This is the look on Elrond's face, as he looks at the previous picture of himself.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Elrond: "Dear Lord, what is that hideous creature?"

Gandalf: "Uh, Elrond? That's Frodo the Halfling, you know, the Ringbearer?"

Elrond: "Oh, uh, yes. Of course..."

[The Saucepan Man]

Elrond: Take the Ring to Mordor? Are you Nuts??!!

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Those extra few prunes at breakfast catch up with the Lord of Rivendell.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Elrond saw Gandalf the grey uncloaked.

[luthien-elvenprincess]

Elrond's reaction as Boromir presents a sampling of the disco dance craze that is currently sweeping the Gondorian gentry.

[Meela]

Elrond wouldn't have minded Legolas using the Council as an occasion to model the latest fashion for sarongs... if he had remembered to put on the rest of his clothing as well.

[Mithalwen]

Gandy & Theoden

Gandalf "How many times have I told you not to mix the grape with the grain..."

Theoden "Yeah I know... I know ..... but please can you magic up some Alka Seltzer?"

Elrond

1, *Hears that B88 never liked him..*

2, *sees himself in the mirror having fallen victim to Trinny and Susannah *

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Elrond watches helplessly as Pippin scratches his Best of Wings CD.

[THE Ka]

Elrond has bad flashbacks of being known as Mitzi Del Bra, living in a pink grayhound bus and dancing in a green flaminco dress... That everyone said wasn't his colour...

Elrond's 'lost in desert' dress... (http://www.screensound.gov.au/images/whatson/exhibitions/sights_sounds/priscilla.jpg)


~Ka

[Boromir88]

Elrond: Good god, who is that witch?

Celebrian: I'm not a witch. I'm your wife!

[Oddwen]

Celebrian*chasing Elrond around*: Azh nagh Dûrbatuluk! Azh nagh...

Elrond: Not listening, not listening!

Gandalf: But this is the One Ring from the poem. If it's destroyed, Sauron will suffer.

Elrond: Wait, wait, if I heal the halfling, Sauron suffers?

Gandalf: Humiliations galore.

Elrond: That is a noble cause.


...such a great movie. :smokin:

[Lalwendë]

Elrond reflected sadly on just how poor a cook Arwen was, as the lumps in the custard he was chewing became embedded in his dentures.

[Formendacil]

Elrond walks in on his father- and mother-in-law during a moment of marital tension....

[Assasin]

Elrond: For the love of Pete, Pippin! Don't open your mouth after all that ale! It's enough to change the moisture content in the air! :eek:

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Elrond was in shock when he found out that his father was Maglor.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

In true dramatic style, and also seriously disrupting the Council of Elrond, Elros reveals that he has come back to life.

[Evisse the Blue]

Gandalf and Theoden pic:
Gandalf: You must choose, Theoden! There is no other way!
Theoden: But I cannot. This is one matter in which I cannot choose.
Gandalf: Even if I am your counsellor I am not fit to advise you in such a matter
Theoden: Oh, I cannot choose...Well, alright, pass me the blueberry one!

Elrond pic: Bloody hell! What are those little disgusting creatures doing? This is a serious council not a hobbit striptease party!

[Oddwen]

Eomer - that sounds like it belongs in the "LotR Soap Opera" thread...

~o~o~

This is Elrond when Celebrian revealed the nature of the "poisoned wound" inflicted upon her...

[Nimrodel_9]

Those extra few prunes at breakfast catch up with the Lord of Rivendell.Uh oh!

Elrond takes a peep into his future.
Rondy: Now what will I look like in 10,000 years? Hmmm.... not bad. Let's try 12,000....:eek: . NOOOOO!!!!

[Esgallhugwen]

The Council of Elrond watching a soap opera

Gandalf: It's true Theoden, I am your second cousin twice removed-
Pippin: Hey! That's my line
Elrond: Quiet you little whipper snapper or I'll sick my witch of a wife on you!
Celebrian: What was that!?
Elrond: Err, nothing my sweet lily dove *insert pic of Elrond here*
Celebrian: Save it, you sleep in the gazebo tonight

or

Elrond: Dear Eru that's how women give birth!?

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Elrond (thinking): Oh, boy. I need to rethink my commitment to my brother's descendants.

[The Elf-warrior]

Elrond: "Eww! Gimli, do you have to dip your bread into the soup?"

Boromir"Please lay off of him, Master Elrond. That's nothing compared to what my father does. He eats cherry tomatoes and gets the juice on his chin."

Elrond: "And you say Gondor doesn't need king, aye?"

[Hookbill the Goomba]

As the sun rode high over the trees, Elrond saw it was high time for a new picture;

http://flechesombre.free.fr/images/conseil/gandalf.jpg

Gandalf's reaction to what it was that Elrond saw in the last caption.

[Nimrodel_9]

Gandalf likes cherry flavored suckers. :p *lick*

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

You mean to tell me you want to take my stick?

[Esgallhugwen]

Thank you Hookbill I was about to get a pic of Gandalf with his staff, (though a slightly more action based one) for this particular caption I had in mind.

Gandalf: Listen up, you primitive screwheads! This is my boomstick!

*(God, I love that movie)*

[elronds_daughter]

A "Princess Bride" related caption, that is...

Frodo: See? I told you I'd be taking the Ring to Mordor!
Gandalf: Yes, you're very smart. Shut up.

[Oddwen]

Gandalf: I am a wizard! And yes, I do know karate!

[Formendacil]

Gandalf: "What do you mean Legolas has been chosen to represent the Elves? There are how many Elves in Rivendell, and you go pick him?"

[The Saucepan Man]

Gandalf: Take the Ring to Mordor? Are you Nuts??!!

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Gandalf: What do you mean my staff was Treebeard's nose?

[THE Ka]

Elrond: Anyway, as i was explaining - Whoa! Gandalf what happened to you! Ever heard of taking a bath?

Gandalf: Oh, come on! I'ts not that bad!

Elrond: Seriously! You stink so much even your aura is green!

*Gandalf looks around himself: What the? oh, I guess your right... What do you suggest? Soul foam Dial, or Purity by Dove?

Elrond: I don't know, try some of Legolas' stuff I guess...

( if you look, the lighting around Gandalf is tinted a yellowish-green...)

~I'm Clean, the Cleanest I've been ka~

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Gandalf to Boromir: Thats Disco? o_O

[Fordim Hedgethistle]

Elrond: Arwen. . .your ears, they're. . .pointed!

Gandalf: It must be a mutant trait of some sort, lord Elrond. Have no fear, I am sure that her offspring will have nicely rounded ears (http://forum.barrowdowns.com/showthread.php?t=11526) like normal Elves.

[Mithalwen]

Gandalf gets kneecapped by a low flying hobbit...

(or for Eomer of Rohan's benefit ;) Gandalf had just been kicked 'in the Shire' by Bill the pony.........

[Lalwendë]

Gandalf: What do you mean? This twig is too big for a game of Pooh Sticks? Well we are playing it on the Anduin after all, aren't we?

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

I do remember that Mithalwen. :D

So, to carry on this chain of disturbing and uncomfortable jokes, this is for the benefit of Nilpaurion Felagund:

Gandalf (staring at Eowyn): "Oh my! who is that delectable young thing?"


*I'm sorry, I'm so sorry to have started that*


Alternatively,

Gandalf (to Aragorn): "You mean we've just tramped 60 leagues in the wrong direction?"

[The Only Real Estel]

Ian: "You know Billy, when you're at Isengard with a mouth full of food, you need to be really careful with how you pronounce 'sitting' or else it could wind up sounding like--"

[Hama Of The Riddermark]

Gandalf to Legolas: You mean you're a pacifist tree hugging hash eating hippie girl in disguise?

Or

Poking Saruman (to the right of the picture): Bloody hell that girl has a nice arse, look...

[Meela]

Legolas definitely looked hot, but Gandalf had his doubts about Elrond's ability to wear the sarong with any scrap of dignity.

[Nimrodel_9]

Oh my gosh! I can't breathe, I'm laughing so hard! :p :D

Gandy: Inconceivable!!!
(Loves that movie!:D )

Nimmy

[SamwiseGamgee]

Gandalf to Frodo: "You did what with my copy of Robson and Jerome's debut album?

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Gandalf: You mean Storm is not in the Fellowship?

[Evisse the Blue]

Gandalf: The Chubchubs are coming??!

Whoever remembers that cute little animation movie?

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

*McKellen shows apprehension at the sight of moving trees, not realising that they're on his side this time*

[Witch_Queen]

I'm back!

Gandalf: Ouch!!! Blasted Hobbits! Frodo that hurt!

Frodo emerges out from beneath the cloak.

Frodo: Well sorry Gandalf but it was you that ordered the bikini wax. Now didn't I tell you it would hurt.



(I apologize if you take it the wrong way. SORRY!)

[Hama Of The Riddermark]

http://www2.filmweb.no/multimedia/archive/00015/Sam_og_Frodo_15684a.jpg

Sam: This isn't Mordor! I KNEW we should have taken that left back at the falls of Rauros!

Or

They may have run out of lembas, water and hope, but Frodo had just spotted Gollum running towards them with a crate of Red Bull...

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Frodo: is this a dagger I see before me?

OR

Frodo: Poor Gollum.

Sam: I'll record his last words, "That holes not so deep!"

[Boromir88]

Frodo: See Sam, that there is where we must go.
(Sam watches a creature pop it's head out of the ground)
Frodo: That's where we have to go, but I'm scared.
(Sam sees another creature pop it's head out of the ground).
Frodo: Sam I'm scared.
Sam: Hey, Gimli said dwarves don't--
Frodo: Sam! I said I'm scared.
Sam: Huh...what wa that?
Frodo: You didn't hear a word I said did you?
Sam: How do they do that?
Frodo: SAM!

[Mithalwen]

Frodo began not to care that a "Duke of Edinburgh's Award" would look good on his CV.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Boromir had warned them of a barren wasteland riddled with fire and ash and dust, but Frodo and Sam were pretty certain that they were looking at a nudist beach.

[Fordim Hedgethistle]

Sam: There's no place like home. There's no place like home. There's no place like home.

Frodo: Wrong movie Sam.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Mr Frodo, I just had a thought. Why do we say hamburgers when they're really beef? It's quite strange don't you think?

Not now Sam...

[Lalwendë]

Frodo and Sam searched ever more desperately for a hairdressing salon as they realised their hair was growing more mullet-like by the day.

[Assasin]

Frodo: Gosh, Sam! This staring out into space thing is really fun!
Sam: Huh?

[Meela]

The sarong may have been catching on in fashion circles throughout Middle-earth, but Frodo and Sam agreed that it shouldn't have happened in Mordor.

Or

Another two travellers' hopes are shattered after following a thousand leagues' worth of 'Gap of Rohan' signposts.

[Esgallhugwen]

Gandalf picture: His Mother warned him his face would freeze that way.

Frodo and Sam-

Frodo: Sam I think we've taken a wrong turn.
Sam: Why do you say that Mr. Frodo?
Frodo: Because I think we're in an Oliphaunts litter box.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Frodo: Are you sure we're still in Middle-earth?

Sam: Why do you ask?

Frodo: That's the Space Mountain.

[Firefoot]

Frodo: Sam... this isn't the Shire.
Sam: I could have been sure that it was just over that hill...

[Formendacil]

Frodo: "Sam, what is that place?"

Sam: "That's Osgiliath, sir."

Frodo: "But we aren't supposed to be here. Smeagol was supposed to take us to the Crossroads."

Sam: "I don't think anything's the way it's supposed to be anymore, Mr. Frodo."

Faramir (offscreen): "Keep those halflings moving. They must be brought to my father."

Sam: "As I was saying..."

[Bêthberry]

Frodo: "You know, Sam, after walking this far, that General Lee muscle car from Dukes of Hazzard is looking pretty good."

Sam: "You don't suppose moonshine would be easier to carry than this ring, do you?"

Frodo: "I don't know. But after that spider, Boss Hogg looks like Tinkerbell."

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Frodo: I know it's here . . . somewhere . . .

Sam: Mr. Frodo, we can't complete Lord of the Rings without the Ring. Now, where did you drop it?

[THE Ka]

*Sam taking that dime-store philosophy to heart, " I never really knew life could mean this much..."

*Frodo in his usual, all the time, you can count on me to be original, " Sauron has a door?!"

~ A boring non-sensitive ka~

[Lalwendë]

Frodo and Sam in a tense moment after arguing over who forgot to pack the clean underpants.

[Oddwen]

Fro: But Sam, taking velocity into effect, you can't possibly think that mass=jump distance, because there simply isn't enough time for it.

Sam: Ah, but I have taken velocity into effect. If you read my essay in the Hobbiton Science Weekly on the subject...oh no! Here comes Gandalf!

Fro: OH SAM! It's so heavy! I can't do this Sam! OH SAM, shall I ever look into that valley again...oh good, he's gone. As I was saying, I have read your essay, and I found one or two points that I found were lacking in a few pertinent areas...

[The Saucepan Man]

As they passed a particularly large Oliphaunt dropping, Frodo discovered that the bigger and bluer one's eyes the more they water.

or

Sam: Well it may well be good for the garden but I ain't shovelling it, if you take my meaning Mr Frodo.

[The Only Real Estel]

Frodo: "Dude....Sam...remember when your scale double kicked your [butt] in chess? Dude...that was awesome..."
*Sam ducks his head in emarrasment

[Ainaserkewen]

Frodo: Sam I'm scared.
Audience: ZAM-SHA!

Hobbits: What? No, no, no, you've gotten it backwards you silly girls, switch places. That's better. Let's try this again.

Frodo: Sam! I said I'm scared
Audience: SHAZAM!

Frodo: *In a muscular pose* Thanks! I needed that.

And all was right in the world.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Sam: Well, that's sick, and no mistake.

Frodo: I should have never seen that.

The Hobbits caught Faramir sticking his Boromir effigy full of arrows.

[Lalwendë]

One ring to rule them all, One ring to find them,
One ring to bring them all and in the guano bind them.

[Gil-Galad]

Frodo began not to care that a "Duke of Edinburgh's Award" would look good on his CV.


i'm actually striving for that award...heh...


Sam: i knew it..
Frodo:shut up...
Sam:i knew this was for nothing
Frodo: shut up!!!
Sam: through thousands of bad guys, and deaths of our friends...
Frodo: don't say it...
Sam: now i know what you would do for a klondike bar...

[The Only Real Estel]

As the Super Bowl comes around again, it's time to revive the memories of last year's halftime show :eek:

Frodo: "Oh Sam, that was the worst!"

Sam: "Horrible. Just horrible."

[Lhunardawen]

Frodo and Sam in a staring contest with Sauron's Eye. Yup, far out yonder.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Frodo: Sam, I think its time for a new picture.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v604/hukbillgoomba/Pinksaruman.jpg

Saruman: GRIMA! NEVER WASH MY CLOTHES AGAIN!

[Lhunardawen]

Saruman: WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DON'T LOOK GOOD IN PINK???

[The Saucepan Man]

Wormtongue: But Master, I was only trying to please you. I thought that if I put your White Robes in the wash with the coloureds, they would come out Multi-coloured.

[Kath]

Saruman: Well never mind, once I've set fire to that pesky white wizard below he'll be Gandalf the Black and I'll still look better!

[Oddwen]

Okay, troops. I know you hate pink. That's why you joined the Society for the Haters of the Color Pink. Well, troops, BEHOLD YOUR ENEMY!

[Meela]

Saruman gets even after the Orcs spill his favorite Fuschia nail polish.

[Mithalwen]

A frightfully bitchy row breaks out during the Pride march .......

[Lalwendë]

Saruman finally snaps when he realises his new Woertalottatatt curtain pole was not packaged with the right number of screws: "I queued up for 17 hours just for this to happen?!"

[Boromir88]

Grima: Forgive me master...those were the only pajamas I could find in Theoden's wardrobe.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

And when I pull the lever, behold! I become over 12 feet tall.....uh, that's right - 12 feet tall! Well, that didn't work...

[elronds_daughter]

Saruman attacks the SCHP and the P.A.S.F.C.P., only proving their theories correct: pink is the color of evil!

[Lalwendë]

Saruman resorts to extreme measures when trying to open a can of corned beef: "Break, damn you, why won't you break like the Light?"

[Boromir88]

Saruman: Like pink isn't bad enough, you just had to get a fuzzy robe too!

[Oddwen]

When bunny slippers attack: More at 11.

or...

Unfortunately, overusing the Pokey Stick of Doom has some rather colorful side effects.
"Not Pink! Anything but pink!"

or...

So, Sting glows blue when orcs are near...what does glowing pink mean?

[Assasin]

Saruman: My god! It's harder to wash the floor than I thought! That's a nasty piece of dirt!

[Oddwen]

Well, I listened to all my Pink Floyd albums. Next, Deep Purple!

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Saruman: Gríma! Never open the door while I'm taking a bath!

[Lhunardawen]

Say hello to Saruman the White's mentally deranged identical twin, Saruman II the Pink.

[Evisse the Blue]

and Saruman is all dressed up for the occasion!

OR
Saruman gets annoyed when he learns that he still isn't colourful enough to be a Disco DJ.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

"Gandalf may have the respect of his peers, but guess who's gonna walk away with the pole-vaulting trophy!"

[Formendacil]

Saruman: "I am Saruman the Wise, Saruman the Ring-maker, Saruman of Many Colours!"

Gandalf: "I think your "many colours" got stuck on Pink.

[Esgallhugwen]

Saruman: Now hand over my matching fluffy pink slippers and no body get the fire ball of toasty doom.

Back to the Sam and Frodo pic-

Frodo: What does that sign say Sam?
Sam: It says to duck Mr. Frodo
Frodo: Duck? What are we supposed to duck?
Sam: I believe that giant pooper scooper that's coming straight for us.

[THE Ka]

Saruman: Ha! Top that sauron! Pink down to my name embroidered on the back! I'm soooo more evil than you!

Sauron: Crud... I guess you're right, But! Do YOU have a pink-tinted eye contact! Hmm?!

Saruman: Drats! Foiled again! You found that on ebay... you cheater...

Sauron: * Laughs... Counting his buyer points...


~ P.A.S.F.C.P. Ka~

[The Only Real Estel]

Saruman couldn't help it. When he heard Hoobastank's The Reason for the 87th time, he just plain snapped.

[THE Ka]

Saruman attacks the SCHP and the P.A.S.F.C.P., only proving their theories correct: pink is the color of evil!


Sauron beats all... I think he should have a pink monocle in my opinion...but, back to the topic...


Saruman: What do you mean it was just alittle spot of jelly! Grima, now your wine habits in bathrobes have gone too far!

~ Night at The Roses Ka~

[Lathriel]

Saruman the pink!!

Saruman: I thought it would be a good idea of changing the colour of my robe each day, just to show people that I am no longer Saruman the white but saruman of many colours. It was a good plan.... untill I hit pink.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Saruman: It's not pink! It's light hard magenta (http://www.visibone.com/colorlab/)!

[The Saucepan Man]

*New in!*

Saruman the Pink Barbie™ Doll with Pokey-Stick of Doom Action.

:) A wonderful addition to your collection. :)

(Colour may vary from figure shown)

Disclaimer: Keep your Saruman the Pink Barbie™ Doll separate from your other Dolls as it has a tendency to attempt cross-breeding programmes. Barrow Downs Products™ accepts no liability whatsoever for the appearance of Uruk-Hai, Half-Orcs, Orc Men, Goblin Men or any other Man-Goblin-Orc combination of any kind whatsoever occuring in consequence of exposure of your Saruman the Pink Barbie™ Doll, whether directly or indirectly, to other Dolls in your collection.

You may notice that your Saruman the Pink Barbie™ Doll shoots the occasional Fireball from its Pokey-Stick of Doom, but this should be disregarded as non-canonical. Barrow Downs Products™ accepts no liability whatsoever for any ensuing arguments ... er ... discussions. ;)

[Fordim Hedgethistle]

Saruman the Pink Floyd:

I don’t need no redemption
I don’t need no thought control
No dark sarcasm in Isengard
Gandalf leave them orcs alone
Hey! Gandalf! Leave them orcs alone!
All in all it's just another brick in the wall.
All in all you're just another brick in the wall.

I don’t need no redemption
I don’t need no thought control
No dark sarcasm in Isengard
Gandalf leave them orcs alone
Hey! Gandalf! Leave them orcs alone!
All in all it's just another brick in the wall.
All in all you're just another brick in the wall.

“Wrong, do it again!”
“If you don't give us the Key to the Tower, you can't have any pudding. How can you
have any pudding if you don't give us the Key?”
“You! Yes, you behind the wizard, stand still Gríma!”


(With apologies to Roger Waters.)

[Lalwendë]

Saruman regretted borrowing the wife's bathrobe when he ended up having to fend off the advances of the over-amorous yet very short-sighted milkman.

[Hama Of The Riddermark]

Gandalf had a bit of fun messing with Saruman's mind before he broke his staff.

[Atarah]

Frodo decided Gandalf had been smoking too much pipeweed after he swore he saw Saruman wearing pink...

[Maeggaladiel]

Saruman vows never to let Grima do his laundry again.

"How many times do I have to tell you to SEPARATE THE WHITES FROM THE COLORS!?"

[The Only Real Estel]

Saruman: "How about this pose with a blue background, Grima? Or was the green better? I must admit the biege & the the purple both looked nice...do you think blue makes my forehead look big?"

[Sophia the Thunder Mistress]

"Having been caught in his bathrobe and with bedhead, enraged wizard slays four..."

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

6am, and the cat was making a racket outside...

[Nimrodel_9]

Saruman takes up the life of a Tellytubby.

or

New grape flavored Saruman action figures! *Blue-raspberry Pokey-Stick of Doom sold seperately*

[Oddwen]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v58/Oddwen/gandalfhopeful.jpg
Oh, so Orthanc is made of chocolate. Good!

[Lucien Tindomiel]

"You say... My eyes are as blue as forgetmenots?"

[Lathriel]

Gandalf looks at Saruman in pink (from previous pic)
Finalle its about time he went insane, now I can finally take over after waiting for hundreds and hundreds of years.

[The Saucepan Man]

Gandalf: Hey, that's good pipeweed, Merry man.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Gandalf: Ah, so Balrogs do have wings. I thought that shadow-thing was purely metaphorical.

[Formendacil]

Ian McKellan: "You're J.R.R. Tolkien? Pleased to meet you. I'm Gandalf."

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Gandlaf: And my hair can work as a secret hiding place!

Merry (Whispering to pippin): I think he's finally flipped.

[Atarah]

Gandalf: "What? They sent me back here? Not again..."

Aragorn: "Nice to see you too..."

[Meela]

Having stumbled upon their secret hideout in Fangorn, Gandalf discovers exactly what the Entwives have been up to since their disappearance.

[Hama Of The Riddermark]

Even Gandalf smiled when he looked into the palantir and saw Frodo sprain his ankle in a rabbit hole.

[Mithalwen]

After a lengthy round of drinking games with Legolas it was discovered that alcohol did eventually take its toll on immortals:

Gandalf "See the little pixies, see their little feet....."

[Mithalwen]

Gandalf's joy was complete - not only had Legolas lent him his shampoo but he had a Royal Flush and would clean out the Minas Tirith treasuries ......just as long as he could keep a straight face......

[Boromir88]

Gandalf: (rubs eyes) Wow! Now I can see why Grima had the hots for her.

[Nimrodel_9]

No matter how hard he tried, Gandy could still not see his eyebrows.

[Fordim Hedgethistle]

Headmaster Gandalf: Ah, Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans! I was unfortunate enough in my youth to come across a vomit-flavored one, and since then I'm afraid I've rather lost my liking for them. But I think I'll be safe with a nice toffee, don't you?

Alas. Ear wax.

[The Only Real Estel]

Despite the doom that hung over everyone in Minas Tirith when Sauron's orcs massed before its walls, Gandalf couldn't help but smile when he saw Sauron's 'commander', Gothmog.

[THE Ka]

Gandalf: See? When you are reborn, you get a new staff, robe and even hair!

Aragorn/Legolas/Gimli: * Blink in stupidity... and some shocking curiousity...

~Ka

[Gil-Galad]

Gandalf: sorry for leaving you and all that... i didn't mean for boromir to die, or frodo to go alone....or pippin and merry to be captured my murderous uruk-hai...wait no i'm not! ha ha ha!

*Gimli, Aragorn and Legolas stare blindly*

Gandalf: come on its a joke...man i'm better off being santa claus...

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Gandalf: Oh, look! Aragorn, you look cleaner. Legolas, you look more manly. Gimli, you've grown taller.

Three Hunters: Really?

Gandalf: No. :p

[Esgallhugwen]

With a great look of intent and glee in his eyes, the Three Hunters knew that Gandalf would soon be sending them on another ludicrous if not murderous adventure.

Aragorn: Alright who's dying this time so we can get all the funeral arrangements in place. I just hated having to chuck ol' Boromir in the water like that.

[Lalwendë]

Gandalf 'enjoys' the glassy-eyed, emotionally vacant pleasure of prozac.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Gandalf: "I was taken to this wonderful place, filled with light, joy and beauty. And lots of happy green munchkins!"

Aragorn (whispers to Legolas): "He's been licking toads again...."

[The Elf-warrior]

The Sam and Frodo picture: Frodo: "Somewhere over the rainbow..." Sam: "Mr. Frodo, I think I see Gollum in the river gorge." Frodo: (Still looking at the sky.) "At least it's not a flying monkey."

Gandalf the White picture: Gandalf shows his real feelings about the death of Denethor. "Good work Shadowfax."

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Gandalf: AH, looks like another picture is on the horizon.

http://www.angelfire.com/film/serkis/smeagol.jpg

Cooking With Gollum

Gollum: and if you gently take the rabbit and (SNAP!) ... erm... oops?

[Mithalwen]

Gandalf hoped a beatific smile would deflect any questions about why it took him so long to work out Bilbo had the One ring..

[Oddwen]

Gollum: If I hide behind this coney, the fat hobbit can't see me!
Sam: What is that smell? I warrant there's a dead thing nearby. Can ye smewl it?
Frodo: Yes, I can smell it.




Ergh.

[Formendacil]

"Does it guess easy? It must ahve a competition with us, my preciouss! If precious asks, and it doesn't answer, we eats it, my preciouss. If it asks us, and we doesn't answer, we does what it wants, eh? We shows it the way out, yes!"

[Boromir88]

Frodo couldn't stand Gollum ripping into raw coney, so he bought Gollum a stuffed bunny to chew on.

[Meela]

"Would Sir like to try this in a size 12?"

[Atarah]

Gollum: Does Master want to play with Fluffy?
Frodo: *to Sam* Do you think we should tell him Fluffy's dead?
Sam: Not on my life Mr Frodo. It may stink somewhat, and the rabbit too, but at least he's not bothering us!

[The Saucepan Man]

Smeagol: Does they wants to see my Brian Blessed impression?

[Lalwendë]

This is what happened to the Sainsbury's adverts after Jamie Oliver found a mysterious gold ring on the Kings' Road: "Pukka! My Preciousss..."

[Mithalwen]

OK so why can only see the picture... is it a thestral? Oh no then I'd be able to see it .. a kind of anti-thestral then ? Oh dear .. from Tolkien to Potter to Pratchett in a single post :(

[Boromir88]

Mith, to see the pic....Right click on the Angelfire image, click properties, highlight and copy the address (URL) and put it in your web box. ;)

[Mithalwen]

Mith, to see the pic....Right click on the Angelfire image, click properties, highlight and copy the address (URL) and put it in your web box. ;)


Ooh thank you kind sir..... good deed for the day..


OK then ...hmmmm

Gollum attempted his sweetest smile and tried to swap his pyjama case for the one ring.

[Nimrodel_9]

"He's been licking toads again....":eek:

Gollum: Look! Look! See what Smeagol finds?
Frodo (running away): Blast you Smeagol! That's a skunk!

Anyhoo...

Nim

[Fordim Hedgethistle]

Gollum: Peeksaboo! Precious, yes peeksaboo!

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Does precious likes our new toupe?

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Sméagol: If you comes with Sméagol, we gives you this rabbit, preciouss.

[Esgallhugwen]

Gollum: Yes Preciousssss usessss my hankerchiefsssessss

or

Merry: See? I told you his eyes were bigger then Frodo's now pay up.
Pip: *groans* Alright, fine!

[The Only Real Estel]

Does precious likes our new toupe?

"We took a page out of Donald Trump's book, we did, Precious!"

[Oddwen]

Gollum: Now for the Scrumptiously Crunchable test. Step one: Is it crunchable? *crakkkk* Yes yes, precious! Now is it scrumptious? *crunchhh* Yes yes yes! It passes, yes it does!

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Sméagol: We didn't knows the Beleriandic cottontail hare was endangered!

[Oddwen]

Legolas: Ah, Elmerf, I have dyed you an ordinary, unassuming color that thou mayest deliver mine message unto the wild cave-hares in the troll-fells. Fail me not, for the very fate of the Elven Kingdom in Mirkwood depends on thee.

Gollum: A coney! *snap*


Or...

The true, yet sad and romantic, fate of Elmerf and Yosmitë. A hobbit's stew.

[Mithalwen]

Unknowingly Gollum kills an Isildur's hare...

[Lalwendë]

"Smeagol has found a wig, Masster. Can Smeagol auditionses for the part of Legolas now, Masster?"

[Nimrodel_9]

http://images.amazon.com/images/G/01/dvd/aplus/lotr/rotk-aragorn.jpg
He's got the bowling ball!!!!!

(That was for any commentary watchers :D )

[Oddwen]

The Gollum pic:

Sam: Oi! Gollum! Fetch us a coney!
Gollum: As you wish.

The Palantir pic...

Aragorn: Do you know what I see in here? SHRIEKING EELS!

[Esgallhugwen]

Aragorn found the proof in the case of Faramir's missing fish bowl.

Aragorn: It was in your Father's room
Faramir: Dad! How could you?
Denethor: Well, I uh....drained the water, then lit the match it sort of continued from there.....What?!
Aragorn: Why don't you just buy him another fish.
Denethor: Never!! *douses carrosine oil on himself and lights one of his infamous matches*

[elronds_daughter]

Now I must do my own Princess Bride caption!

"INCONCIEVABLE!"

[The Saucepan Man]

Aragorn: (looking at his reflection): Oh, you handsome devil you.

Sauron: You think so? Why, thank you.

Aragorn: Huh? Who said that?

[Esgallhugwen]

Aragorn was doing well at the candle lit food fight until his ball caught fire.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Aragorn: I got you now, Leggy!

[The Elf-warrior]

Ding a ling a ling, Ding a ling a ling! A feminine voice: "You have reached the office of Gorthaur. Your call is appreciated. Please wait on hold till Gorthaur or one of his representives can reach you." (Mordor theme plays.)

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Palantír: $2 million
Andúril: $ 2.5 million
Seeing that look on Sauron's eye: priceless.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Aragorn: (After whacking the Palantir against his head) I'm sure I can break this thing open... *collapse*

[Meela]

When Legolas asked Aragorn to tell his fortune, it all got a bit one-sided.

Aragorn: Oooh... I see... I see... a crown! And look, there's me! In a fancy tunic.... with a dozen hot Elf chicks! Oh, then I get slapped by the wife.

Legolas: Yes, but what about meee?!

Aragorn: Ehh... you're somewhere in the crowd.

[Oddwen]

Are you suggesting that Palantiri migrate?!?

[luthien-elvenprincess]

Aragorn (ponders to self): If I can get this thing to strobe...I can hang it from the ceiling in the disco ballroom in Gondor...man, that would throw a little boogie into the night!

[Nimrodel_9]

Arry stares in wonder at Boro's new disco ball.

[Formendacil]

Aragorn, to Sauron:

"Hello! My name is Aragorn Arathornion! You killed my (many greats grand) father! Prepare to die!"

[Evisse the Blue]

Aragorn:

Ball, ball in the hall,
Who's the dirtiest of them all?

Ball:

Remember those two halflings that went to Mordor? Well, your glorious filth is now no match for theirs!

Aragorn:

Damn you, ball! You lie! I'll have to torture you with fire until you tell me what I want to hear!

Ball shrieks and writhes in flames.

Aragorn:

Hahahaha! A little too hot for comfort, is it?

Ball:

All right, all right! You're the dirtiest mortal that ever walked the land of Arda, happy now! *mutters* At least until coronation...

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

As the world looks on, breaths held in anticipation of the encounter with Sauron, Aragorn could hardly contain his amusement as he realises that he dialled the wrong number...

[Mithalwen]

Aragorn was pleased with the prototype for the "Ranger" - ' flame effect fire ball - all the beauty of natural real wood fire without the mess' (or indeed the heat) - now all he needed was a backer.

[The Only Real Estel]

Aragorn saw Gandalf...uncloaked!

[Lalwendë]

Aragorn's face beams with pride as he finally proves to his mates that you can indeed buy gobstoppers bigger than your own head.