Crazy Captions

[elronds_daughter]

Merry stares in shock at Gandalf the Grey....uncloaked!

[Formendacil]

Merry: "You know... that is a really big pumpkin."

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Merry watches on as The Saucepan Man continuously beats people over the head with his pans.

OR

Merry: Come on Gandalf! Which hand is the coin in? Which one?

[THE Ka]

Merry stops by the Lorien Mall for a picture...


~Ka

[The Only Real Estel]

Merry contemplates which villager is the werewolf...
"He could be, but so could she. Oh, I don't know! And there's only two minutes left to vote too!!!" :eek:

[Mithalwen]

Merry realises that the strange light of Lothlorian means he can see right through the elf girls' flimsy dresses....

[Fordim Hedgethistle]

Merry

Midnight not a sound from the palace, has the Lady Galadriel, decided to help?
In the firelight the withered leaves collect at my feet and the wind begins to mourn

Memory all alone in the moonlight
I can smile at the old days, I was comfortable then
I remember a time I drink all the ale I wanted
Let the memory live again

Every tall shadow seems to be a Nazgul
Someone mutters and the streetlamp gutters and soon it will be morning

Daylight, I must wait for the sunrise
I must think of a new life, and I musn't give in
When the dawn comes tonight will be a memory too, and a new day will begin

Burnt out ends of smoky days
A stale cold smell of morning
A wizard dies, another night is over, another day is dawning

Touch me, it's so easy to leave me, all alone with my memory of my days in the sun
If you touch me you'll understand what happiness is, look a new day, has begun

* With apologies to Andrew Lloyd Weber and T.S. Eliot

[Lhunardawen]

Merry contemplates which villager is the werewolf... Or Merry contemplates which villager would be best for midnight snack. :eek:

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Merry is inconsolable by the news that his favourite villager was just killed.

Or (stealing Kath's idea) Merry is completely unaware that the ferocious Umbrella of Doom is sneaking up behind him.

[elronds_daughter]

Merry: "Do the chickens have large talons?"

OR

Merry: "But my lips hurt real bad!"

[Gil-Galad]

Merry finnally figured out where they were going

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

The psychopathic arsonist Merry, having set Edoras ablaze, gazes nonchalantly as it burns to the ground.

[Anguirel]

Merry tries to look darkly Byronic as Eowyn goes by...

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Merry looks on in awe of the next picture

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v604/hukbillgoomba/Frodo207.jpg

As Bag-end burns down, Frodo wonders what to do with the deed to the house... give it to the sack-vills!

[Lhunardawen]

Merry is inconsolable by the news that his favourite villager was just killed. It's unexplainable, but I find myself wondering who this could possibly be. ;)

Merry pic:
"Hmm...why did the chicken cross the road?"

Frodo pic:
Frodo, a bit frightened but rather curious, decides whether to read Sam's love letter or throw it into the fire.

[dancing spawn of ungoliant]

Dear Santa,

I've been really kind this year and I have only one little wish for you. I don't want big presents or anything particular but please, cut it out with the rings, will you! Especially the last one caused a whole lot trouble. I'd be grateful for a few cookies for once.

Frodo

[The Only Real Estel]

Here in the glow of the Mountain, Frodo accomplished his mission to acquire the single greatest weapon that the Alliance could ever hope for - Sauron's hidden love letters to various elven knockouts.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Even the post office in Mordor was intimidating.

[TomBrady12]

Frodo looks suspiciously at his invitation to the 42nd annual R.I.B.E.G.O.M.E. (Ring Bearer’s Guild of Middle Earth) awards at prestigious Barad-Dur Square Garden. A black cloak and tie affair, no doubt.

TB12

[Nimrodel_9]

F&G pic:

Frodo: Gandalf! There's a spider on your back!
Gandalf: Is there? Oh well.
Frodo: No! It's really really big!
Gandalf: Gaaaahhhh!!!!!.......

Merry pic:
After attacking Gandalf and then Frodo, the very large spider began to crawl down the wall toward Merry....

Frodo pic:

Frodo: Gandalf! Did you send me this terrible letter?!

[Gil-Galad]

Frodo: Mr and Mrs. Gandalf, I'm sorry to inform you that Gandalf is dead...

gandalf: I'm not dead

Frodo: shut up, you'll be along soon...if theres anything that i can do

Gandalf: i feel happy...i feel happy

*Pippin hits him*

Pippin: that felt good after being bullied by him all this time...

[Lalwendë]

Frodo receives his Live 8 tickets and daydreams about the number of fancy waistcoats he's going to be able to buy when he sells the tickets for a hundred groats on eBay.

[Kath]

Frodo: What? You say this envelope contains the possibility of ultimate power? But only if I give it to you?

Sauron: That is correct - so give it back!

[The Elf-warrior]

Merry pic: "Is that a dagger I see?" OR

"Peregrin Took, can you please throw yourself into a well?! I don't to hear another word about Saruman's crystal ball!"

By Nimrodel_9

Frodo: Gandalf! Did you send me this terrible letter?!

Gandalf: "Yes, Frodo."

Frodo: "Did you really drive Denethor insane and order Shadowfax through Osanwe-kenta to kick Denethor into the fire?!"

Gandalf: "Yes. The moment when Denethor burst into flames was the one of the happiest moments of my life."

[Meela]

Frodo is a little wary when Gandalf arrives to collect his will, armed with a quill and correcting fluid.

[The Only Real Estel]

Frodo (practicing his Legolasness): "A red sun rises. Blood has been spilt this night."

Merry (off-screen): "It's only Pippin's laser pointer shining in your face, you twit!"

[Sophia the Thunder Mistress]

On arrival at the Sammath Naur tanning salon, Frodo wonders whether it's really such a good idea to use those "Free Tanning Session" certificates that came in last week's mail.

[luthien-elvenprincess]

Frodo gazes suspiciously at the departing message-deliverer; although he had heard many a tale of the gaiety of the celebrated Balrog-Ball, doubt now crept into his mind as he held the long coveted invitation in his now-hot-little-hand.

[Formendacil]

Just before he is to enter the Bank, Frodo decides not to deposit the Fellowship's life savings, but to keep them for himself.

"Good thing I had them make out the checks to me."

[Oddwen]

G: "It is altogether evil, Frodo. It must be destroyed!"
F: "But, but Gandalf...it says I may have already won a million dollars!"

[Nimrodel_9]

Frodo wonders if sending a letter bomb to Sam is really the right thing to do.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

It seems Gandalf did turn Samwise into something unnatural...

OR

Day 128 in the Tol-in-gurthor Big Wolf house, and Frodo is growing restless at the death of a significant character and posts a formal complaint! :p

[The Only Real Estel]

The time to disclose secret roles for the next Werewolf game had come and Frodo was feeling more than a little bit anxious as he prepared to open his envelope.

[Lalwendë]

Frodo: "Could this be a letter inviting me to start at Hogwarts?"

[Lhunardawen]

Frodo gazes longingly at his picture of Sauron as he prepares to read another one of his letters...

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Frodo: This, Gandalf, is an order from the Shire sheriffs, it says that, due to four traumatised Hobbits you are no longer allowed to become Gandalf the grey uncloaked.

[narfforc]

Frodo to Gandalf: I recieved a rather strange letter today, from a Mr U.R.R Jokin. In it he tells me to beware of The Grey Pillock, the one the Dwarves call Thickone and the Elves name Mythraving, who in the South is known as Incantation, but you may know him by his Halfbit name, Habba-ra-ka-Dabblin or The Grand Alf (Stage Conjuror Supreme). What the hell is he on about?.

Gandalf: I haven`t got a clue!

Frodo: That`s strange, he said you would say that.



Taken from The Rotten Book of Wastemarsh or The Lord of the Grins.

[Gil-Galad]

Frodo: now sign this Will i'm going to give you!

[Oddwen]

Frodo recoils in horror as he sees the fanletter in his hand is addressed to...Gimli!

[TomBrady12]

Frodo realises that the afore mentioned fanmail is from Gimli.

[Bêthberry]

*visions of marshmellows danced in his head*

OR

Frodo had thought he was supposed to send his wish list to the North Pole, not Mordor, but now he was having doubts.

[Gil-Galad]

Frodo: we have some tough decisons to make Bill... will it be the Yorkshire Meat-packing plant? or will it be the Antwerp Slaughter-House?

[Morsul the Dark]

Frodo:But Gandalf Why would Tolkien put such an important weapon such as the ring in an envelope.

Gandalf:To symbolize that there is only a thin layer protecting us from that.

Audience:"YAWN"

Gandalf:...... I mean so i can burn it!...yeah that's it BURNBURNBURN!!!!!!

[THE Ka]

Once again, Frodo confiscates another IRS(S)* notice into the fire of: Bilbo Doesn't Live Here Anymore...



* Internal Revenue Service of the Shire...


~ Ka

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Frodo finds someone has sent him a new picture...

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v604/hukbillgoomba/Istari.jpg

Gandalf’s camouflage technique worked perfectly, until he became addicted to Shire Pipe Weed. :eek:

[Lhunardawen]

Gandalf is faced with a tough decision: his pleasure or the Quest.

(Middle Earth is doomed as I see it. :eek: )

[Boromir88]

Gandalf is faced with a tough decision: his pleasure or the Quest.

(Middle Earth is doomed as I see it. )~Lhunardawen

Gandalf's pleasure being...shares in Isengard Inc.

[Oddwen]

Gandalf stares with interest at the apparent Zombie that Saruman had in his study...

I'd try to think up a Pirates of the Carribean joke, but I'm too tired.

[Bywaters]

Saruman: Gandalf, have you seen my stapler? I've been looking for it all day and can't find it anywhere.

[wilwarin538]

Saruman and Gandalf have a staring contest to see who has to make dinner.

[Kitanna]

Gandalf went to Isengard expecting a pipeweed party at Saruman's, instead he found an intervention.

[Gil-Galad]

Gandalf: yes, i'm here for the job of...supreme over-lord wizard!

Saruman: what? thats my job! oh you make me amgry! i'm going to go screw myself over and become evil so you can take my job! grrrrr

Gandalf:...do i still get weekends off?

[mormegil]

Saruman: Now, do you know why you've been brought to my office young man?
Gandalf: Yes sir, I've been picking too much on that Pippin Took.
Saruman: That's right now I expect you in my office every night for one week. We will be doing lines.

[Lalwendë]

Gandalf: "Hmm, Saruman has a lot to learn about the art of holding a soiree. Ribena instead of ale, no cheesy pineapple things, and I'm the only guest."

[TomBrady12]

After successfully completing his quest to defeat Sauron, Gandalf was tasked with an even tougher assignment: The re-decoration of Orthanc.

TB12

[Gil-Galad]

Saruman: Badgers! we aint got no stinking badgers!

[Boromir88]

Gandalf is in awe at the lifelike wax display of Saruman in his office at Isengard's Arts and Sciences museum.

[Kath]

Gandalf watches in horror as Saruman's newly severed and skeletonised arm begins to move towards the candelabra.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Gandalf: Why are you on your knees, Saruman?

Saruman: To catch a Hobbit, I must think like a Hobbit... hum... I'm hungry.
:D

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Principal Saruman: Gandalf, your punishment for smoking at school will be an hour of therapy with Dr. Sauron Freud.

[The Elf-warrior]

Saruman: "Glugnazgh, it's time to feed the Uruk-Hai."

[Lalwendë]

Gandalf: "It's elementary. It was Colonel Mustard, with a candlestick, in the library."

Saruman: "Can you please give the Sherlock Holmes routine a rest next time we play Cleudo?"

[Lhunardawen]

Gandalf looks over at the disembodied hand waving at him.

[The Only Real Estel]

Gandalf stares in disbelief at the sight he sees in front of Saruman. Someone has beaten him to that new Frodo action figure, with cape! :eek:

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Gandalf is getting slowly drunk as the severed hand keeps refilling his glass. :eek:

[dancing spawn of ungoliant]

Saruman's gonna make Gandalf an offer he can't refuse.

[The Only Real Estel]

Gandalf: "But, why is the weed gone!?"

Saruman: "Because you smoked it all, idiot! Five barrels in one night? Come on!"

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Gandalf: "Know what we need? We need some babes in this place!"

Saruman: "That's your answer to everything......"

[Boromir88]

Gandalf spots the same slug of doom that attacked him on Caradhras...

[Lalwendë]

Saruman: "Why oh why does he always turn up to borrow a cup of sugar just when I've got a bottle of the Chateau Neuf Du Pape open? Scrounging Stormcrow. Tch."

[Meela]

Gandalf prepares a hasty exit as he learns that the last guest who smoked all the pipe-weed was turned into an attractive set of paperweights.

[The Only Real Estel]

Gandalf: "I see you've been busy. Galadriel's pitcher. Numerous stolen literary works. Anakin's mechanical arm. Wait a second - what the heck is that doing here!?"

[Meneltarmacil]

SARUMAN: No, Gandalf, you may NOT go to the bathroom now, we're in the middle of a test. Get back to your seat. And for the last time, no smoking in class!

[Gurthang]

Gandalf tries to make a smoke screen to escape from Isengard. It didn't work so well.

OR

Somebody was playing with a lazer pointer on set that day. Look at the cup Gandalf's holding.

OR

Gandalf forgot why he came into the study. :confused:

OR

Here's a switch: Gandalf is appalled to see Saruman... uncloaked! :rolleyes:

[Ainaserkewen]

The voice of James Earl Jones:

"Mild, calm, suave. Longbottom Leaf, for today's intellectual."

[The Only Real Estel]

Saruman: "Sauron has regained much of his former strength. He cannot yet take physical form, but his spirit has lost none of its potency. Hey, you don't seem to worried to me!"

Gandalf: "Oh, sorry about that. I'm having a bit of trouble caring about the world's fate right now - this is excellent pipe weed, though! By the way, I love what you've done to your study, walls painted neon & all. And the disco ball strobe light effect, brilliant!

Saruman: ???

[Gil-Galad]

Gandalf: Calvin Klein for Wizards

[Lalwendë]

Gandalf: "I think I'll just have another smoke and a snifter of this wine before I get back to those tax returns. I just hope I've still got my receipt for those white robes I had to buy."

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Gandalf could hardly believe that Saruman had not yet noticed the spy-with-camera that he had smuggled into Orthanc, despite him standing a mere 2 feet away.

[The Only Real Estel]

Gandalf's suspicions first began to arise when he saw the orc mask lieing on top of a stack of books by the window in plain view.

[dancing spawn of ungoliant]

Only the moonlight showed Saruman's den for what it really was: dusty.

[THE Ka]

I really don't know where I'm going with this... Something from an indie movie for sure...


Gandalf: Anyways, I tell the guy: "Hey! That's an awsome horse, and I think I can have it." So, he starts giving me this whole 'grey pilgrim' speech when -
Is that my old pipe?

Saruman: What old pipe? I don't smoke, especially that foul crud you inhale. I gave up smoking a century ago.

Gandalf: No, look! I swear, that's my old pipe, with the signature first-edition 'G' stamp custom hobbitton red-clay craft. Why is it here?

Saruman: No, it isn't! I told you I don't smoke -

Gandalf: All you had to do is ask if you wanted to use my pipe to smoke, we both know how addicting that weed is... Damn hobbits are crafty enough to control us, might as well indulge before the market caves in...

Saruman: Yeah, you are right. Could you pass me your pipe?

Ha... That was horrible... Sorry. I have too much self-esteem and not enough humor today.

~ In bad taste Ka

[Lhunardawen]

Gandalf contemplates offering his pipe to the disembodied hand.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Gandalf fixates on the cockroach slowly climbing up Saruman's beard.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Saruman: So, if I accelerate the mutation of the Uruks so that they have to come to me to use these transportation devises, then I can remove all senses and feelings and make them into killing machines that will exterminate the world.

Gandalf: You've been watching Doctor Who again haven’t you?

[Bêthberry]

Fans throughout Middle earth gasped at Peter Jackson's scandalous depiction of Tolkien's academic life style.

[Gurthang]

The real reason for the Wizard's Duel: Saruman tells a 'grey' version of a blonde joke to Gandalf. :mad:

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Saruman: Concealed within his fortress, the Lord of Mordor sees all--his gaze pierces cloud, shadow, earth and flesh.

Gandalf: Good! I won't have to go to the hospital to have my chest X-rays. This pipeweed might be slowly killing my lungs.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Saruman's council was 99% admin.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Gandalf: "I hope they post a new caption soon, my legs are killing me!" :D

[Gurthang]

Saruman: "Gandalf, I'm sorry, but the economy isn't doing so well, so we have to make cuts. You've been let go. I'll need your staff and sword."

Gandalf: :mad:

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Gandalf: "I hope they post a new caption soon, my legs are killing me!"

Saruman: You think you've got troubles? I have to sit here on my knees. Lets see a new picture!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v604/hukbillgoomba/fool.jpg

Pippin: I'll bet you never got all this abuse, Mr. Skeleton.

OR

Gandalf: Hold my hat Frodo.
Frodo: Sam, hold Gandalf's hat.
Sam: Merry Hold Gandalf's hat.
Merry: Pippin, hold Gandalf's hat.
Pippin: ... ... Blast!

[dancing spawn of ungoliant]

Season sales on men's department were unpredictably trying at times.

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Pippin: What do you mean, you don't want to be a Hufflepuff??

[empress_han]

'Chaos, disorder, destruction...I see my work here is done'

much love Han X

[Kath]

Pippin: I thought Boromir died later?

Exp - there are three arrows in this guy.

[Holbytlass]

Pippin: I'm hungry, you got any food?

[Meela]

"So... come here often?"

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Pippin: Gandalf, do we still have to take Gimli along. Only he's starting to smell.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Pippin: "This guy's not been getting enough Vitamin D."

[The Only Real Estel]

Pippin realized that he wasn't even close to having waited the longest for his wife to come out of the mall.

[The Saucepan Man]

David Entenborough: And here we see the aftermath of a Hobbit feeding frenzy. This particular specimen has recntly consumed an entire Wizard and rendered a Dwarf to mere bones in a matter of minutes ...

[The Elf-warrior]

Pippin marveled at the way Gandalf's corpse disintegrated.

[Alcarillo]

Pippin's first career was dressing the mannequins at the Moria Department Store.

[mormegil]

Pippin: (dancing and yelling) Look at me Gimli I'm a wizard...Gimli? Gimli? Oh crap!

[the guy who be short]

Pippin: Such lustrous ginger hair... Those flowing locks...

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Apparently Gandalf's power resided in his hat; when it was stolen from him, he disintegrated.

[The Only Real Estel]

Pippin: "Excuse me, but you wouldn't happen to be Parkington Lane, would you? You see I read on the back of...oh never mind, you'd never believe me - even if you were alive."

[Gurthang]

The skeleton next to Pippin startles everyone by suddenly bursting into song. :eek:

[Kitanna]

Skeleton: Listen kid, when your teacher tells you not to play with orcs you had better listen!

[Gil-Galad]

Pippin: i guess he didn't have Capital One...

[Boromir88]

Pippin the Magnificent's, with his assistant Gimli, magic show goes deadly wrong.

or...

Skeleton: Aflack!

[Catherine]

Pippin: Hey look what i did....i guess the force is with me!

[Lalwendë]

It's 7am, the morning after the night before, and Pippin wishes he hadn't had that eighth pint.

[luthien-elvenprincess]

Pippen to dwarf skeleton, "I'm trying to imagine you with a personality..."

[mormegil]

Pippin: Huh!? Laura Flynn Boyle sure has grown a lot of facial hair.

[Lhunardawen]

Pippin gets an idea for a solution...*evil grin*

[Gil-Galad]

Pippin: wow great impersonation of Gil-Galad being lynched!

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

It sounded so much like the skeleton was giggling at him; Pippin decided that he should probably stop licking toads.

[Boromir88]

Skeleton: He who delve into the well of death must answer me these questions three, and the bottom he see.

[Gil-Galad]

Pippin thought he'd never see the day when gandalf would go crazy on Gimli...

[The Only Real Estel]

Trip to Moria: $780

Tour guide: $20

Finding out that Gandalf's staff can double as a flamethrower and shoot arrows: Priceless.

[Gil-Galad]

stylist head gear: $36

[Gurthang]

Pippin decides not to drink from the pail.

[Gil-Galad]

Pippin: Must...resist...stupidity impulse...

[Oddwen]

Pippin decides not to drink from the pail
...anymore.

Or...

P: Nice legwarmers, you 80's throwback freak.

Or...

P: Can you see the border of red thorns too? Gandalf thinks I'm insane...

Or...

P: Psst...I'm going to fill Gandalf's hat with dirt. Don't tell anyone.

Or...

P: Yeah, I used to work at an orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn't concentrate. And then I worked at...

Or...

P: You! Off my planet!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Skeleton: I never wanted to be a skeleton. I wanted to be a lumberjack! Leaping from tree to tree! … [And so on]

[Lhunardawen]

Pippin sees a companion he would prefer over Gandalf.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Pippin: What do you mean "Balrogs do have wings"?

[The Only Real Estel]

There was something about that flowing hair...that heavy beard. Hadn't Pippin seen this character before in the outfield of the Boston Red Sox?

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Skeleton: "Yea! Balrogs have wings - and Elves have pointy ears!"

Pippin: "O, so you want to start something, eh?"

[SamwiseGamgee]

Pippin sure was glad he'd listened to his doctor and got his malaria tablets before embarking upon this journey.

[Kath]

Pippin began to wonder if this was Gandalf's not so subtle way of hinting he was getting fed up with all the Took-ness.

[The Only Real Estel]

Finding himself basically alone, Pippin decided to use the moment to boost his ego...

Pippin: "I'll get the check this time. No, that's okay, I can handle it. Sit down! I'm fine, I'll get it. Yeah, I know, I get that a lot."

[Formendacil]

"What do you mean that's my great-uncle Hildifons?"

[wilwarin538]

Pippin: Hey Mr. Dead-Creepy-Skeleton-Dude, I'll trade you Gandalf's hat for those great yellow boots.

[THE Ka]

Pippin: Is that Gucci?!

:rolleyes:

~ You know it! Ka

[The Only Real Estel]

Before Pippin actually saw the Morlock emerging from the well he had always assumed H.G. Well's The Time Machine was just science-fiction.

[Oddwen]

Pippin: Hey Mr. Dead-Creepy-Skeleton-Dude, I'll trade you Gandalf's hat for those great yellow boots.
You mean...after all this time...PJ did include Tom Bombadil!!

[Gurthang]

Pippin wonders if anyone will notice if he throws Gandalf's stuff down the well. (He's still mad for being called a Fool of a Took.) :D

[The Only Real Estel]

Skeleton: "Psst, kid! Gimme your lunch money."

[narfforc]

Pippin Inspects the results of overdoing The Ratkins Diet, thinking it is a poor way to lose weight, having to die so that rodents could eat your excess fat.

[The Elf-warrior]

http://tinypic.com/6z8ua8.jpg

Middle-Earth Gothic OR

"Howdy folks and welcome to the Hobbitton Hoe-down."

[the guy who be short]

*Glare* You! Stop making fun of my belly... or become acquainted with The Stick!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Gandalf: What fire?

[mormegil]

Gandalf modeling his designer braided belt.

[Boromir88]

None shall pass.

Or....

Get to see the secrets behind "Gandalf the Grey Uncloaked" and learn it yourself in this amazing informational video.

[The Only Real Estel]

Photographer: "A little to the left...perfect. Okay now, rest your hand on your belt, kind've a 'I've got bling & I know it' type pose - exactly! Now get serious, no smiling, right! Boy Gandy the girls are going to love this!"

[Holbytlass]

I'm too sexy for my cloak....

[SamwiseGamgee]

Gandalf the Grey, the original bad-***.

[narfforc]

Frodo: Quick Gandalf get out of the way, there`s a Balrog flying past the window.
Gandalf: Preposterous, Balrogs can`t fly, they haven`t got any wings.

[Kath]

Any BDer: Gandalf please no! Keep that belt done up!

[Bêthberry]

Gandalf: Are you sure this is the way to wield the Secret Fire?

[Saurreg]

And as for fashion, pundits see strong competition for Calvin Klein this fall.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

"Hi! You young whippersnappers, get off my lawn!"

[Meela]

Gandalf: No, Meela, I haven't seen Denethor today... *whistles*

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Gandalf is not impressed by Radagast the Brown uncloaked.

OR

Gandalf: A, G, Question mark, H, grey splodge.

Optician: Yup, you need glasses.

Gandalf: But all the other Wizards will laugh at me!

[The Only Real Estel]

Fortunately, Gandalf could see the light at the end of the tunnel. Unfortunately, it was coming behind him, it was not natural sunlight, & it was headed straight towards him.

[Mithalwen]

Now we know where Gandalf kept that crystal that made his staff light up .....

[Mithalwen]

When Celeborn grumbled that his wife thought the sun shone out of Gandalf's "behind", little did he realise that it was literally true......

[Gurthang]

Gandalf prepares to cause another stir of [I]Gandalf... uncloaked[/I} rumors.

OR

Gandalf gets hit by a cosmic storm, transforming his DNA and making him into the Wizard of Fire (Human Torch). :D

OR

Gandalf is fumigating Orthanc after seeing a cockroach in Saruman's office.

[The Only Real Estel]

Gandalf: "My name is Gandalf the Grey. You lost my favorite staff. Prepare to die."

[Lhunardawen]

When he said he is the wielder of the Flame of Anor, he wasn't kidding.

OR

Gandalf emerges from yet another breakdancing session with Bill the Balrog.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

No one would have believed, in the last years of the Third Age, that human affairs were being watched from the timeless worlds of Valinor. No one could have dreamed that we were being scrutinized as someone with a microscope studies creatures that swarm and multiply in a drop of water.
Few men even considered the possibility of life over the sea. And yet, across the gulf of water, minds immeasurably superior to ours regarded this Middle Earth with envious eyes, and slowly and surely, they drew their plans against us!
Yet still, no one expected it to be in this form.
“I am Gandalf, feel my heat ray!”

[THE Ka]

Gandalf had officially gave up playing pranks with Bilbo's stove as it exploded within the kitchen of despair and better first impressions...

Bilbo: GANDALF! What have you done?!

Gandalf: Made a better first impression, now where's that new pipe you promised me? Get to it, chop chop!


~ {K}\a/*

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Exercise tapes: $200
A belt: $17
Fitting in your formal in time for a grand entrance in the Wizard's Ball: Priceless.

[The Only Real Estel]

Gandalf decides that the best thing to do this year is guard the fireworks tent 24-7.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Gandalf sees off in the distance a new picture
Gandalf: Good grief!!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v604/hukbillgoomba/Gandalf20y20Sombragris.jpg

Gandalf: I'm sorry; I just don't have any change!

[mormegil]

Gandalf: Okay, tell you what horse, you give me my hat back and I'll feed you these sugar cubes.

[Kath]

Gandalf: Oh dear we seem to have our colours mixed up. See I'm supposed to white and you are supposed to be grey.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Shadowfax: Alright, I'll bare you to Edoras, but I get to ride you to Helms Deep.

Gandalf: I don’t think that’s how it works.

[Bêthberry]

Gandalf: "I don't care what Aragorn dreamt about Roheryn, you're not snoggin me."

[Holbytlass]

(Shadowfax)...and I'm too sexy for my saddle....

[Lalwendë]

Gandalf: "So this is a Shadowfax? Which end do I stick my invoice in?"

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Gandalf thought Gimli was certain to win the best Fancy Dress contest.

[Boromir88]

Gandalf: You see this rod. If you don't want this rod in your face, like I do to Mr. crazy man back in Gondor, then I suggest you listen to me.

[Kitanna]

Gandalf: Now I've had quite enough of your Mr. Ed impressions, Shadowfax.

[The Only Real Estel]

Gandalf: "Now look. I've been supportive to you, I've been there for you. But there comes a time when the truth must be told & the truth is the goatee just isn't you."

[The Elf-warrior]

Shadowfax regarded Gandalf's new color with bemusement.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Gandalf: No, you can't use my staff to pick your nose. Go ask the Dwarf.

[mormegil]

Gandalf to Aragorn: "That horse had better win, or else we're taking a trip to the glue factory. And he won't get to come."

[Firefoot]

Gandalf: What do you mean I'm on my own two feet from now on?!

[Oddwen]

Horse: Hullo, I'm Mr. Ed
Gandy: No, I know Mr. Ed, and you're not Mr. Ed.

Or...

Shadowfax quickly grew quite tired of Gandalf blowing on his nose, and told him so with a swift kick to the kneecap.

(Y'ever done that to your dog? I thought so, animal abuser ;) )

[Kitanna]

Gandalf: My hair's whiter!
Shadowfax: No mine is, old man!

[Lhunardawen]

Gandalf willingly gives his staff to Shadowfax in exchange for a ride to meet with...Galadriel?! :eek: :eek:

Shadowfax: If you want me to be mum about it, you'll have to buy me a truckload of the finest grass.

[Lalwendë]

Gandalf has words with Shadowfax after an incident in the garden : "Why, Shadowfax? Why did you have to do that on my pipeweed plants?"

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Gandalf's in trouble with the mafia again.

[narfforc]

Shadowfax to Gandalf: Please get your lines right this time, I am late, I should have been in Studio Ten five minutes ago, I need to get my horn fitted for The Potty Harry movie

[Kath]

Gandalf to PJ: Look we need a new Shadowfax, this one keeps trying to steal my scenes!

Shadowfax: What do you mean try?

[Formendacil]

Gandalf: "Shadowfax, it's all over between us. We need to go separate ways."

Shadowfax: "How much alimony do I get?"

[Meela]

Gandalf discovers that Theoden has fobbed him off with a hobby-horse.

[Gurthang]

Shadowfax confronts Gandalf about his streaking episodes. :rolleyes:

Shadowfax:'If I hear about you being uncloaked one more time, you will never again get a ride from this pony.'

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

"Damn Rohan economy drive! I asked for an airplane!"

[Mithalwen]

Mr. Gandalf: 'Ello, I wish to register a complaint. . I wish to complain about this horse what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very stables.

Owner: Oh yes, the, uh, the Mearas Grey...What's,uh...What's wrong with it?

Mr. Gandald I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E's dead, that's what's wrong with it!

Owner: No, no, 'e's uh,...he's resting.

Mr. G: Look, matey, I know a dead horse when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.

Owner: No no he's not dead, he's, he's restin'! Remarkable horse. the Mearas Grey, idn'it, ay? Beautiful coat!

Mr. G: The coat don't enter into it. It's stone dead.

Owner: Nononono, no, no! 'E's resting!

Mr.G: All right then, if he's restin', I'll wake him up! (shouting at the horsee) 'Ello, Shadowfax! I've got a lovely apple for you if you
show...

(owner hits the horse)

Owner: There, he moved!

Mr. G: No, he didn't, that was you hitting him!

Owner: I never!!

Mr. G: Yes, you did!

Owner: I never, never did anything...



Mr. G: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That horse is definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not 'alf an hour
ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein' tired and shagged out following a prolonged gallop.

Owner: Well, he's...he's, ah...probably pining for the Wold.

Mr. G: PININ' for the WOLD?!?!?!? Look, I took the liberty of examining that horse, and I discovered the only reason that it had been standing in the
first place was that it's hooves had been NAILED to the stable floor .

(pause)

Owner: Well, o'course it was nailed there! If I hadn't nailed that horse down, it would have nuzzled up to the stable door, opened the latch with his teeth, and
VOOM! Clippetty clip!

Mr. G: "VOOM"?!? Mate, this horse wouldn't "voom" if you put four million volts through it! 'E's bleedin' demised!

Owner: No no! 'E's pining!

Mr. G: 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This horse is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e
rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the floor 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the
bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-HORSE!!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Gandalf: Look, one of us is going to have to change our outfit.

[The Only Real Estel]

Gandalf: "What's that fellow? Jose Canseco says he injected you with steroids? Tosh, pay no attention to that loudmouth!"

[Nimrodel_9]

Don't you smile at me, Horsey!!!

Nim :rolleyes:

[Lhunardawen]

Flip-a-coin...the best way to come up with a decision.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Gandalf: Now look here! I'm a respected Shakespearian actor; I can't be seen doing a pantomime, its jut not dignified.

Aragorn: Just shut up and get in the horse costume.

[Holbytlass]

Wow, Mithalwen, that was some caption !! :D

[Nimrodel_9]

Gandalf: Now look! I really do not want to argue with you! Imagine what that would do to my reputation! Arguing with a horse! Sheesh! :rolleyes:

[The Only Real Estel]

The Horse and His Wizard- by C.S. Tolkien.

[the guy who be short]

Gandalf tries to explain that his staff is not for sale to a bemused foreign customer.

[Mithalwen]

Wow, Mithalwen, that was some caption !! :D


Erm had to break the "No dead parrot rule" ..... that horse just looked so ...... well stuffed

[The Only Real Estel]

A frustrated Gandalf decides the last time he's had this much trouble communicating with someone is when he last tried to place an order at McDonald's.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

"O Shadowfax! Why did you have to eat Legolas? Don't give me that doe-eyed stare!"

[mormegil]

"O Shadowfax! Why did you have to eat Legolas? Don't give me that doe-eyed stare!"

Movie version only.

Gandalf: Thank you for eating Legolas, Shadowfax!

[Kath]

Gandalf: Listen very carefully, I shall say this only once - when I hit you with the stick you run, you don't throw me off and call the Horse Protection Society!

[Formendacil]

Gandalf: "Pleased to meet you, Mrs. Gimli."

Offstage: Gimli: "In fact, Dwarf women are so similar to horses that they are often mistaken for them, giving rise to the notion that Dwarves just spring out of the ground, or something..."

[wilwarin538]

Gandalf: I didn't know I had a twin. :p

[THE Ka]

Once again, whilst getting off his horse, Gandalf steps in something well placed and very expected...

Gandalf: Glare
Shadowfax: Glare...
Gandalf: ... What are you looking at?!

~ Ka

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Gandalf: What's this? A white Shadowfax? Oh, great. What's next? A talking Eye?

Shadowfax: Oh, that's not appearing 'til RotK.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Lost in the wilderness? Starving? It was painful but Gandalf realised that, in order to survive, he must cook the horse.

[wilwarin538]

Gandalf: How many times do I have to tell you not to eat the new pic?!?

http://www.xbox.com/media/games/lotrreturnoftheking/sim-lotrreturnoftheking-006.jpg

Sam: Lets play follow the leader!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Gollum: If we just position ourselves in the right place, my precious, we can head but this nasty Orc into the fat one.

OR

New to Wednesday nights, it's; "When sackvill Bagginses go bad!"

[The Only Real Estel]

Frodo broke every Understood Rule of the Third Code of Combat when he started dealing out blows below the belt.

[mormegil]

Frodo stops to appreciate how helpful that electric light is on the far wall, thus leaving the orc open to slay Sam.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Sam tries to get rid of a firefly that is lying around and accidentally hits a passing Orc.
Sam: How dare you come into my house! Get out of here you bast- oops, sorry Mr. Orc.

[Kitanna]

In the midst of the fighting Gollum sees Sam has lost his wallet...

OR

Sam, Frodo, Gollum, and their new friend Dwanye the Orc finish a particularly violent game of "Red light, Green light."

[The Only Real Estel]

Orc: "Dude! Check out my King Kong wall shadow!"

[Kath]

Everyone recoiled in horror at the stench issuing from the mouth of the attacking orc.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Sam: Take that! You filthy, stinking, foul smelling Orc!

Frodo: Sam, that's Aragorn!

[the guy who be short]

Unsure concerning the finer points of swordplay, Sam decides to spray himself with mud to camouflage himself and confuse the enemy.

[Gurthang]

Gollum found a ring!

OR

Gollum found a shiny stone!

OR

Gollum found a penny. Lucky!

OR

Gollum found a worm!

OR

Gollum found a battery?!

OR

Gollum found a cookie!

OR

Gollum found a ultra-rare Pokemon card!

OR

Gollum found a rabbit's foot...er, actually a Frodo foot!

OR

Gollum found a pair of sunglasses! Gollum: "Bright light doesn't hurt us!"

OR

Gollum found a key!

OR

Gollum found a piece of ... ewww! :eek:

OR

Gollum found a switch! *flip* Orc to the right looks up: "Uh-oh!" *piano* *smash!*

[narfforc]

Sam:Can someone please tell Iluvatar that the game disk has stuck again, my arm is aching,and this sword is a lot heavier than my knife and fork.

[dancing spawn of ungoliant]

A new devilry of Mordor? The world became two-dimensional!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

When the Orcs showed off their new "Hug of Doom" it was too much for poor Sam. :(

P.s. 1,000th post for me! Yipee! :D

[THE Ka]

Gollum, unlike most other electronically doomed characters had a degree in Interior design...

Gollum: Looksies at what we have found! It's a Purgo original! They don't even showcase this stone tile anymore! ...And looksies! More of them!


~ Boring, as usual Ka

[Meela]

If surfing in battle worked for Legolas, it's worth a try...

[Boromir88]

The different worlds of LOTR and The Matrix are successfully mixed.

[Lalwendë]

Just before dying, the Orc unleashed his secret weapon. A Wasps' Nest!

Sam: "Aiee! Leg it! Jaspers!"

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

The Hobbits and the Orcs fight quietly, lest they wake up a scourge worse than a Balrog of Morgoth: a sleeping Gandalf the Grey--uncloaked.

[The Only Real Estel]

You can give them bonus points for trying, but the fact remains painfully obvious that this group is not the best five line dancers in the world.

[Encaitare]

Giant orc [recoiling]: The fat hobbit smells disgusting!
Sam: Do not! That's you, you filthy.... filth!
Giant orc: Yeah? Then why are there flies swarming around you?

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Sam always took fencing that step too far.

OR

Frodo: Sam! That's no way to greet our guests!

Sam: But Mr. Frodo! They are Orcs!

Frodo: Sam, it’s not the dark ages, you needn’t be so racist! Invite them in for tea and cakes!

Sam: :eek:

[Holbytlass]

(First off, I thought you all were crazy because I didn't see Gollum)


Gollum the primaballerina: No No No, It'ssss third posssition, first possition THEN the piurroette, my precious!!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

(First off, I thought you all were crazy because I didn't see Gollum)

Well this is "Crazy Captions" :p

Anyway;

Sam accidentally struck oil. (I would add in something incredibly cynical, but I might get into trouble, so I won't.) ;)

[Lalwendë]

The orcs recoiled in horror as Samwise unleashed the underpants he'd been carrying in his rucksack since leaving Rivendell.

[the guy who be short]

Before Gimli could explain that he was simply in fancy dress, it was too late - Frodo had already hacked off his leg.

Explanation: that orc's head looks so mask-y!

[Fordim Hedgethistle]

Professor Tolkien: Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. What is that? An Ex...Box? And who are those rather crudely rendered figures? Eh? What's that you say? They're Frodo and Sam? And Gollum? Well well well, that's all wrong, all wrong. Gollum was in the Mines of Moria but he did not encounter the hobbits until.... What's that? I most certainly beg to differ, but it is most certainly not "a game" it's a tale.... Oh, you mean to say that it's been adapted into a game? A game that one plays on the television? Well how in the world can you follow the story? "What story"?? Whatever do you mean, "what story"? The story of the coming of the King and destruction of the Ring of Power....what's that? That doesn't happen until, when did you say? The 32nd level? What 32nd level...of Moria? You mean, of the game? But I've already told you it's not a game its a book, and it's not divided into levels but into chapters. Now turn that thing off...good...thank you.... Well what's this now? The MOVIE? And what are those awful lemming-looking things? Wargs!? Well, I must say, I never...I mean...really...it's just....

*sounds of something spinning at high rate in a grave*

[The Elf-warrior]

Gollum was sulking because no one appreciated his Gladden Fields neck squeeze maneuver.

[wilwarin538]

Sam, Frodo and an ugly green Orc imitate airplanes.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Gimli and Legolas dressed up as Orcs to give Frodo and Sam the fright of their lives.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Random Gamer: Hey! If you press Up-Down-Left-UpRight, you can make Frodo do the Chicken Dance!

[Lalwendë]

Sam: "You put your left foot in, left foot out, left foot in and you shake it all about"

Frodo: "Whoa! Orcy Kokey Kokey!"

Gollum: "Whoa! Orcy Kokey Kokey!"



(sorry.... ;) )

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Lal, I was thinking musical statues. :D (EDIT: I just noticed you typed 'Orcy' - absolutely brilliant!)

Kids, if you're going to play statues with swords then please don't stop in an awkward pose. You'll likely fall over and catch the sword with your belly!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Sam: and that's for the new picture!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v604/hukbillgoomba/conseil_elrond22.gif

Gandalf: Well, someone is going to have to do the washing up!

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Gandalf refused to participate until someone got him a latte.

[mormegil]

Gandalf: Now Eldrond, if I've told you once I've told you a thousand times so stop asking. I will not be dancing with you!

[Kath]

Gandalf: Look, the rules of Duck, Duck, Goose are very simple, it's your own fault if you can't remember them - you lost fair and square!