Crazy Captions

[Gothmog]

And there, behind the garden fence on the back of Rivendell, the two found the long lost Entwives working at Elonds and Sons Tobacco and Athelas Gardening Industry.

OR

Merry: WOW! I never imagined the sea would be this big!
Aragorn: Hrm...That's my bathing pool.

OR

Merry: Are you sure about this? I mean, they look small from here but isn't that just because we're so far away?
Aragorn: No no, they're small and harmless. Come on now, they're only wargs! You can take 'em!
Merry: Well, if you say so. Merry running towards the advancing pack and gets ripped to pieces
Aragorn: Yes! One down, three to go.

OR

Aragorn: Ahhh...My friend, there lies what my heart has longed for such a long time.
Merry: What? Horse dropping?
Aragorn: No. Look further away.
Merry: That booring grey mountain? What do you want all that stone for?
Aragorn: NO! The city you idiot! Minas Tirith!
Merry: Ah, I see... So, can one eat it?
:rolleyes:

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Often, Merry would go days without smoking, eating or making trouble. He was a kind and helpful Hobbit who always looked out for others, and as a reward, at the end of the day he went to watch the Pigs on their afternoon flight.

[Gurthang]

Titanic Rip-Off
Merry: "I'm King of the World!"

OR

Aragorn and Merry play as Legolas and Gimli:
Merry: "Thanks for the box, Legolas!"

OR

Merry: "I can see the ocean!"

OR

Merry gives an Ent a high 10.

[mormegil]

Aragorn and Merry divert themselves with their favorite past time--spitting off the bridge at the riders of Rohan.

Aragorn: Hey Merry, I've got a big loogie this time!

:rolleyes:

[Bêthberry]

Merry: "You're sure this isn't some carnival game, where I will be pelted until I am dropped into a tub of water?"

Aragorn: "Of course not. Look sharp now and move the stilts on, as the orcs will believe that Birnam Woods is marching on Dunsinane."

Merry: "But I thought that Tolkien disowned Shakespeare because of the Midsummer elves."

Aragorn: "He did, he did. But that didn't stop him from borrowing the moving trees idea."

[Holbytlass]

Aragorn: I agree, Merry, this is one of Eyore's finer homes.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Who needs Gandalf to make fireworks when you can put gunpowder in an Ent?

OR

The small spider crawling up the wood fascinates Merry.

Aragorn: Are you sure you don't want to watch Gandalf turning Saruman into a newt and then firing him out of a cannon?

Merry: No, I'm good.

[HerenIstarion]

Aragorn: Bet you ten pennies two to one Legolas will win? Deal?
Merry: No chance, Gimli will kick dust outta him, but I'll take your money if you feel inclined on giving it free, heh. Deal!

[Some moments in silence]

Merry: Good we have that fence between them an us, they seem crazed
Aragorn: Yep

[Some moments in silence]

Merry: Did you see it?! Did you see that upper-cut?! Did you?!
Aragorn: S**t

[mormegil]

The kind patience of Aragorn never faltered as he continually humored Merry with his astonishment at the things he found in the wide world outside of the Shire.

Merry: Wow! Look 'Gorn it's GRASS!!!

[Boromir88]

Aragorn: Look at those swallows.

Merry: African or European?

Aragorn: Egh, I don't know.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Mery and 'Gorn wanted to help in the War, they really did; but what could they do? They were just heads on sticks...

[Meela]

Aragorn and Merry successfully engineered Gandalf's departure for Minas Tirith to coincide with Eowyn's morning sunbathing session.

[Lalwendë]

Aragorn and Merry, big fans of The Kaiser Chiefs, try to climb the fence and sneak in for free at Glastonbury 2005.



OR



Assured by Aragorn that dead Ent wood would make effective wings, Merry was a keen participant in the Bognor Birdman (http://www.birdman.org.uk/) competition.

[Thinlómien]

Merry (singing): Someday my prince will come...
Aragorn: I can see him. On a big white horse.
Merry: Oh! Where?!
Aragorn: Don't you see him? Over there galloping away with Pippin...
Merry: *sigh*

[Gothmog]

Aragorn: See that, Merry? What do you think it is?
Merry: A cloud?
Aragorn: Maybe (whispering) but if it is it's moving fast and against the wind...
Merry: So what do you think it is then?
Aragorn: I don't know but I suspect...yes it looks like...Yes, it's one of my more irritating ancestors Earendil out on his annual cruise back to earth.

(an even worse continuation)

Merry: Why don't you like him? He seems like a jolly fellow!
Aragorn: Let's just say he has a lot of high-flying plans. Not a down to earth guy if I may say so. He has his head up in the clouds.

OOHhhhhhh...*Groan*:rolleyes:

[Maeggaladiel]

"Ms. Baaaggginss!!! Can Frodo come out to play?"

OR


The Annual Rohirric Puppet Show just wasn't the same after Sam made off with all the puppets. Still, the Fellowship tried to make do with what they had.


OR


Eowyn didn't know who kept breaking her backyard fence, or why. All she knew was that some day she'd find the little bleeder and make him pay. That was why she coated the fenceposts with super glue.

[The Only Real Estel]

Aragorn: “Be gone, foul servant of Sauron!”

Merry: “Yeah! I blow my nose at you! Hey, this is pretty fun.”

[The Elf-warrior]

Merry: "The picture is coming! The picture is coming!"

http://i33.photobucket.com/albums/d78/ShelobsBane/Ugluk.jpg

"First thing we do, lets kill all the lawyers!"

OR

"I'll get you my pretty! And your little dog too."

OR

"Now is the winter of our discontent
Made glorious summer by this sun of York;
And all the clouds that lour'd upon our house
In the deep bosom of the ocean buried.
Now are our brows bound with victorious wreaths;
Our bruised arms hung up for monuments;
Our stern alarums changed to merry meetings,
Our dreadful marches to delightful measures.
Grim-visaged war hath smooth'd his wrinkled front;
And now, instead of mounting barded steeds
To fright the souls of fearful adversaries,
He capers nimbly in a lady's chamber
To the lascivious pleasing of a lute.
But I, that am not shaped for sportive tricks,
Nor made to court an amorous looking-glass;
I, that am rudely stamp'd, and want love's majesty
To strut before a wanton ambling nymph;
I, that am curtail'd of this fair proportion,
Cheated of feature by dissembling nature,
Deformed, unfinish'd, sent before my time
Into this breathing world, scarce half made up,
And that so lamely and unfashionable
That dogs bark at me as I halt by them;
Why, I, in this weak piping time of peace,
Have no delight to pass away the time,
Unless to spy my shadow in the sun
And descant on mine own deformity:
And therefore, since I cannot prove a lover,
To entertain these fair well-spoken days,
I am determined to prove a villain
And hate the idle pleasures of these days.
Plots have I laid, inductions dangerous,
By drunken prophecies, libels and dreams,
To set my brother Clarence and the king
In deadly hate the one against the other:
And if King Edward be as true and just
As I am subtle, false and treacherous,
This day should Clarence closely be mew'd up,
About a prophecy, which says that 'G'
Of Edward's heirs the murderer shall be.
Dive, thoughts, down to my soul: here
Clarence comes."

[Meela]

Aragorn's reluctance to take a bath was getting beyond a joke.

Or

"What d'you mean, we're out of man-flesh pretzels already? We bought 10,000 this morning!"
"Well, there are 10,000 of us, chief..."

[Kitanna]

The Uruk puts a gypsy curse on Merry and Pippin. "Arrr, may all your hobbit hair of your feet fall out and may you lose your taste for pipeweed."

[Glirdan]

This is the leader of the 200, 000 orcs found on my doorstep
or

Aragorn: So this is what Gandalf look like uncloaked!!

[The Only Real Estel]

Referee Merry Brandybuck inspects this year’s opening in the fence that is to serve as the goal posts in the annual Great Rohirrim Finger Football Tournament.

-or-

Aragorn and Merry find some good sized breaches in the fence around the elven ladies’ swimming pool and put them to good use.

Merry (thinking to himself): ”Wow, this guy is going to be our King someday...awesome.” :p

[The Only Real Estel]

To say that filming the three Lord of the Rings movies had taken a tole on PJ would be an understatement...

[Valesse]

Uruk: One... Two... Three... Twenty-seven...
Boromir: Hey! No fair! Count correctly, you.
Uruk: Twenty-eight... Twent-
Boromir: You're peaking!
Uruk: GRRR! I never even liked this game! *shoots*

OR

He used Crest White Strips! Shouldn't you?

OR

The Classic Uruk poker face. Go ahead... just tell him he is bluffing.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Eowyn in the morning.

[Gothmog]

The new chemistry teacher was a clumsy one

OR

Orcs aren't famous for their good looks, but the baldness running in his family was almost too much for Ugluk.

OR

Imagine this: Frodo slips his ring on to his finger just before the orcs arrive at Amon Hen
Orc: Alright, who did that? Who poked me in my eye?
Invisible voice: thihihi
Orc: Ouch! That hurts! I'll get you you....*grabs nearest orc and rips his head off*

OR the truth:

Me in the morning

[Holbytlass]

Ugluk's only 20?! Ooh, he needs to moisturize!!

[SamwiseGamgee]

Ugluk: Me, in Minas Tirith all girls school, at 2am on a Saturday morning? Inconceivable!

[Morsul the Dark]

Charactor offscreen:Your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of edleberries!

ugluk is confused by the guard-of-orthanc's taunt

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Ugluk didn't know how to react when asked, "Are you really evil?"

OR

Ugluk: I am Ugluk! I instruct. No that’s no good. I am Ugluk! I order. No that’s no good either.

It took him 4 hours to think of “I command”

[Formendacil]

Ugluk gets his picture taken for the cover of TIME magazine.

[Maeggaladiel]

When his own troops started laughing at him, Ugluk knew it was time to do something about his Uruk Pattern Baldness.

[mormegil]

Ugluk: Yarrr Matey!!!

[Gurthang]

A winking orc is not a pretty sight.

OR

Ugluk is going to try Rogain. This is his 'Before' picture.

OR

Ugluk(to the breakdancing orcs): "You call that break-dancing, you maggots! If you don't keep in step I'll break you!"

OR

When Ugluk made this face, he broke every mirror within a mile radius.

[The Only Real Estel]

Apparently the Entwives weren't as attractive as Treebeard remembered them being.

[luthien-elvenprincess]

The romantic-minded young orc threw off quite a smug grin when he finally got his steely-gray jacket the same shade of his steely-gray skin. Oh, yes...he was going to score big with the ladies at the disco tonight! No more upstaging by that pretentious show-off Boromir tonight!

[Boromir88]

Eowyn in the morning.
I'm kind of thinking if we dig up old Ben Franklin, that's what we'll all see. :eek:

Ugluk: I told you we're not getting Lucky Charms! Now put them back!

[Gil-Galad]

"no no no, back of your throat, Arrrrgggh"

[The Only Real Estel]

Hot ticket to the new band Funky Fellowship's first concert: $90

Overpriced bottle of Orc Draught: $39

Broken limb thanks to unwise body surfing: $2,600 doctor fee

Having your left eye blinded when one of the band members uncloaked: priceless.



*MallornCard and its uses are registered trademarks of the esteemed Nilpaurion Felagund and are not to be used without his consent...except in this case.

[Lhunardawen]

Ugluk's 'before' picture in a hair grower ad.

Or to pick off Gurthang:

When Ugluk made this face, time stood still.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

This is why Ulmo prefers to stay incorporeal.

This is also why he's unmarried.

[Thinlómien]

What our Beloved Undertaker (a.k.a. The Barrow-Wight) looks like in real life. I don't wonder we're all dead.

[Valesse]

Uruk: "Here's look'n at you, kid." *wink*

OR

Even with the blond dye, Ugluk couldn't pass himself off as anything... recently elvish.

[Gurthang]

Aww, a smile like that would melt anyone's heart. :)

OR

Whenever Ugluk gets upset, all of his facial muscles contract and almost pull his face apart.

OR

Ugluk is going to kill whoever it was that painted an 'X' on his chin during the night.

OR

Ugluk: "What do you mean this is Mordor?! I'm trying to go to Isengard, and I know I followed the directions. Ohh! I hate MapQuest!"

[Beanamir of Gondor]

Hot ticket to the new band Funky Fellowship's first concert: $90

Overpriced bottle of Orc Draught: $39

Broken limb thanks to unwise body surfing: $2,600 doctor fee

Having your left eye blinded when one of the band members uncloaked: priceless.




Ugluk: [thinking] Mmm, Ugluk has never seen this much of Gandalf the Wizard. Ugluk likes this!

[mormegil]

10 seconds after this photo was taken of Ugluk winking he lay dead from decapitation.

Apparently Gimli didn't take too kindly to his advance.

[The Only Real Estel]

This is what I think Donald Trump will look like in the future...like two years from now.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Ugluk: I think this has gone on long enough.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v604/hukbillgoomba/Crazy%20captions/Doors.jpg

Aragorn: Urgh! Don't go down there!

Théoden: Why?

Aragorn: Gandalf... grey... un... cloak...d

[mormegil]

Aragorn a mighty Ranger from the north could handle all sorts of trials and evil, even the Nazgul did not hinder him yet this new evil vexed him, the dreaded tennis elbow.

[Kath]

Aragorn had finally made one grand entrance too many, and the doors had retaliated by rebounding off the wall and hitting him on the arm.

Doors: Mwahaha!

[Fordim Hedgethistle]

Aragorn: Stupid flu shot...

[mormegil]

Foolishly Aragorn decided to have an arm punching contest with an ent.

[davem]

Sharku: “Now stand aside, worthy adversary!”
Aragorn: “'Tis but a scratch!”
Sharku: “A scratch! Your arm's off!”
Aragorn: “No it isn't.”
Sharku: “Well, what's that, then?” (pointing at ground)
Aragorn: “I've had worse!”
Sharku: “You liar!”
Aragorn: “Come on, you pansy!”
Sharku: “Look, you stupid b****d, you've got no arms left!”
Aragorn: “Yes I have.”
Sharku: “Look!”
Aragorn: “It's just a flesh wound!”
Sharku: “What're you gonna do, bleed on me?”
Aragorn: “I'm invincible!”
Sharku: “You're a loony.”
Aragorn: “All right, we'll call it a draw.”

[luthien-elvenprincess]

Aragorn musing to himself, "What does she mean 'I have underarm body odor'? I just took a good soaking in the creek...I shouldn't need another bath for a month or so...Besides, Tolkien never intended that I drop into that stream anyway, so I'm actually one ahead on my bathing schedule...what is that woman's problem anyway?"

[Hookbill the Goomba]

That sinister looking plank of wood has been stalking Aragorn for weeks and finally decided to beat him up.

OR

Aragorn tries to defend his title as the All Middle Earth hopping champion.

[Lalwendë]

Aragorn: "Alright, so I got in a mardy about handing the sword over. But there was no need for Hama to give me a dead arm over it."



OR



Aragorn, Chieftain of the Dunedain, Isildur's Heir, Elessar, Wingfoot, mighty wielder of Anduril the Flame of the West struggles to conceal the fact that the zip on his flies has broken.

[Holbytlass]

Argh! Fordim, ya beat me to it! ;)


Aragorn is feeling a bit guilty after throwing Pippin over the battlement because of his incessant arm tugging and asking "how come..? how come..?"



(off topic, but it's me 500th post!)

[davem]

A desperate Aragorn bursts into the Helm's Deep bathroom, only to discover that the toilet had been taken to throw at the attacking Uruks...

[Lalwendë]

Stars in Their Eyes comes to Middle-earth.

Aragorn: "Tonight, Matthew, I'm going to be Kurt Cobain."

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

They all knew that Aragorn was not the brightes buffalo on the prairie, but none could belive that he actual injectet strychnine into his own arm ! :eek:







(I did not see the one about the flu shot until after, but I hope it is not to much alike)

[Valesse]

Few knew that the future king of Gondor was indeed already the Mighty Lord of Tap-dance:

Aragorn: "Toe-heel-ball-change... Shuffle-step! Shuffle-step!"

[Meela]

Aragorn runs in vain from the giant cascade of bathwater...

Rohirrim #1: Is it Eru?
Rohirrim #2: Is Gandalf uncloaking?
Aragorn: It's the sooooooaaaaap.... ruuuuuunnnnn- *sploooooosh*

[Fordim Hedgethistle]

Legolas (off screen): Aragorn has arrived and he is holding his arm in an awkward fashion!

[Bêthberry]

Feeling self-conscious and a bit awkward, Aragorn hopes to draw attention to his elbow so people will ignore his strategically-placed cover up.

[davem]

Hooded figure behind Aragorn:

'Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!'

Or

'We are the knights who say Ne! and we demand a shrubbery!'

Or

Brave Aragorn ran away.
Bravely ran away, away!
When danger reared its ugly head,
He bravely turned his tail and fled.
Yes, brave Aragorn turned about
And gallantly he chickened out.
Bravely taking to his feet
He beat a very brave retreat,
Bravest of the brave, Aragorn!

Or

Aragorn to Legolas & Gimli:

'On second thought, let's not go to Helm's deep, it is a silly place'.

Or

The ghostly voice of Gilraen drifts through the chamber:

(all together now)

'He's not the king of Gondor - he's a very naughty boy!'

[Mithalwen]

I should have changed my stupid lock
I should have made you leave your key
If I had known for just one second
you'd be back to bother me

Go on now go walk out the door
just turn around now
'cause you're not welcome anymore
weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye
you think I'd crumble
you think I'd lay down and die
Oh no, not I
I will survive
as long as i know how to love
I know I will stay alive
I've got all my life to live
I've got all my love to give
and I'll survive
I will survive

[Boromir88]

Brave Aragorn ran away.
Bravely ran away, away!
When danger reared its ugly head,
He bravely turned his tail and fled.
Yes, brave Aragorn turned about
And gallantly he chickened out.
Bravely taking to his feet
He beat a very brave retreat,
Bravest of the brave, Aragorn!

Surely it should be the other one... :)

Bravely bold sir Aragorn, road forth from Camelot.
He was not afraid to die, oh brave Sir Aragorn.
He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways,
Brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Aragorn!
He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp,
or to have his eyes gouged out and his elbows broken,
to have his kneecap split and his body burned away,
and his limbs all hacked and mangled Brave Sir Aragorn!
His head smashed in and heart cut out,
and his liver removed, and his bowels unplugged,
and his nostrils raped and his bottom burned off...

[The Elf-warrior]

Elrond's handshakes can be very nasty.

[THE Ka]

It was already Tuesday, and Aragorn's artificial limb could not be found. So, to keep the matter underwraps, he was forced to substitute the mangled stump with that of a severed rider's arm he picked up somewhere outside a pub.

Rider Greud: Hey Fred, is that your arm?

Rider Fred: Nah, it was sliced off into the keg after that heated philosophical debate on Balrogs, remember?

~ Aesthete

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Aragorn regretted saying, "I'm so hungry I could eat a horse" in Rohan.

OR

Aragorn: Curse these ants! *Stamp!* *Squish!*

Ants: All right, lads! Lets get him!

Aragorn: Eeek! :eek:

[Boromir88]

Aragorn will never again try to break up a fight between Arwen and Eowyn.

[The Only Real Estel]

Mental note to self: No more armwrestling Eowyn.

[Holbytlass]

Aragorn: That's the last time I ask what an "indian burn" is!

[Gurthang]

When Aragorn first tried to break down the door, he missed it completely and hit the stone wall. Then he realized that the door was already open.

OR

Suddenly Aragorn realizes he forgot to bring his elbow!

OR

You'd cry too if you found out that your mother is a hamster and your father stinks of elderberries.

[Gothmog]

Everytime there was a battle to fight, Aragorn found some new injury to prevent him from participating

OR

Aragorn soon learned that tp be head-butted by a dwarf was a painful experience

OR

When Aragorn told Merry "bite me!", he didn't expect that reaction.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

*Ten minuets earlier*

Aragorn: Pfft! How dangerous can Orcs be? Look at that one! He's so stupid! His face is so ugly! Ha, ha, ha!

[Valesse]

Aragorn berates himself after showing Movie-Eowyn his newest "I Love Arwen" tattoo.

[Fordim Hedgethistle]

Aragorn: Stupid Mordor-bred mosquitoes.

Legolas (off-screen): Aragorn is coming through the door and holding his arm after having been bitten by a Mordor-bred mosquito!

Gimli (off-screen): Ach laddie, why that's noothing compayred to thee mosquitoes of the Dwarves! They make the mosquitoes of the Elves look like sparrows.

GIMLI then belches, farts and slips on a banana peel.

Theoden: Mordor-bred mosquitoes! There is nothing that we can do against such beasts!

GANDALF appears and beats THEODEN unconscious with his staff.

[mormegil]

Aragorn: *sulking* Man, I can't believe they are replacing me.

http://us.movies1.yimg.com/movies.yahoo.com/images/hv/photo/movie_pix/new_line_cinema/the_lord_of_the_rings__the_two_towers/_group_photos/david_wenham23.jpg

Boromir: No no Father we weren't plotting your overthrow, ahh we were talking about ummmmm

Faramir: We were talking about Ioreth and how hot she is.

[Kitanna]

Faramir: Father...is that fake fur?
Boromir: How very last season.

[mormegil]

Faramir: Really Father we are adults now, we can handle these arguements by ourselves.

Boromir: Quite right dad! Faramir is rather too old to send to his room.

Denethor: That's it, Boromir you go to your room too!

[Valesse]

Boromir: He is so not gel'n.

OR

Denethor: Faramir! Brown?! What are you trying to be some kind of social outcast?! I want you to start wearing everything black! No ifs ands or buts about it, Young man! Just look at your brother! He isn't a wishy-washy depressed poet type, now is he?
Faramir: What does this all have to do with color? ...wait...Wishy-washy?
Denethor: Yes. Wishy-washy.
Faramir: This is SoOoo going in my diary-journal, Dad!
Denethor: THATS IT! Go -straight- to the pyre!

OR

Boromir and Faramir in unison: There goes Mister Humbug! There goes Mister Grinch!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Faramir: All right, father, where did you hide the gin?

OR

Denethor: *mumble, mumble* That Faramir is so stupid. I'm going to make sure he gets all the rubbish armour. Then I'll send him on some sure to fail errand.

Boromir: Erm... He's right here.

Denethor: Oh, I know.

[Valesse]

Boromir: How dare you interupt the Kings of Disco and Loco!
Faramir: ...Why do I have to be "Loco"?

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Faramir: Hey, new kid. Give us your lunch money.

[Lhunardawen]

Faramir (to Boromir): Hey, isn't that mom's dress?

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

He can do two-on-one staring contests . . . and win.

[Boromir88]

Faramir: So, how about I met this really hot chick on-line

Boromir: Really?

Faramir: Yeah, I'm meeting her here today.

(Denethor appears)

Boromir: Gross, the really hot internet chick is...your dad.

Denethor: How many times have I told you boys no more internet dating!

[Gandalf_the _white]

Denethor:So boys what you talking about?
Boromir:errr.... nothing
Faramir:Look out! Gandalfs uncloaking behind you!
Denethor: (turning around) Where?
Faramir and Boromir together:RUN!!!!!!!!

[SamwiseGamgee]

Denethor: Right, I've been thinking. Gandalf, everyone loves him, right?

Faramir & Boromir: Right.

Denethor: Well I've finally worked out why, boys. Prepare to see me... UNCLOAK!

Faramir & Boromir: NOOOOOOOOO!!!!

[Lalwendë]

Denethor: "Faramir! Are you wearing perfume?"

Faramir: "I...er....um...."

Denethor: "It's very nice, where did you get it?"

[Meela]

Denethor: Faramir, are you smoking again?
Faramir: Uh, no... *hides the stash*
Denethor: I told you, don't take anything from that wizard! Remember what happened last time.
Faramir: Dad, I swear those pink nazgul were real...

[Valesse]

Faramir: Father, we think its time you stop parading around the Citadel in your house coat. This isn't Desperate House Ent-Wives, and frankly, you're embarassing me and Boromir.

[mormegil]

Denethor: Faramir, how many times have I told you that the short pants with high boots look is out.

Faramir: Well I never!

[Fordim Hedgethistle]

Boromir: DAAAAaaaad, Faramir said that he had a dream about Isildur's Bane, and that he's had it, like, ten times already, and that he's going to go to Imladris and see what's going on cause, like, there's this voice in his dream? and it's like telling him to go? DAAAAaaaaad, I'm the OLDest, and I'm a WAY better figher than Fairy. Remember the time when I like totally kicked the orcs out of Osgiliath and won it for you? Well, if you let me go to Imladris, I'm gonna totally get the Bane and give it to you. Fairy said, he said that he would NEVER take the Bane! He did! He did too say that! I'd take it and I'd totally give it to you Dad. Please can I go to Imladris...PLEEEEEAAASE??

Denethor: Now now Boromir, of course you can go on the Quest.

Faramir: But father, I fear some ill in this...

Denethor: Stop trying to ruin your brother's fun! I said he can go on this Quest so he can go. The next time there's a hopeless battle with little hope of success you can go.

Faramir: But my heart speaks of shadows....

Denethor: Not another word! You're just like your mother, always going on about dreams-this and premonitions-that. I've made my decision and that's final. Boromir gets to go.

Boromir: Yeah! Nyaaaa!

[Bêthberry]

According to the Gondor fashion rag, Clôak and Swäggêr, Fashionista Boromir sets a new style trend:


The goal of Boromir's fashion is to show the man's status in society and make him as attractive as possible.

Bombast is the stuffing used in his doublets and hose in order to swell them out, eliminating all folds and creases. It consists of rags, flock, horsehair, cotton, but not bran, as bran can lead to disaster in battle if the clothes get torn. The bombasting of the doublet over the chest and the stuffing out of breeches naturally makes everything seem bigger. The short, bombasted breeches, especially in the form of trunk hose, exposes a certain amount of leg, and is made possible only by the introduction of knitting for leg coverings that fit the limbs more neatly than they had done before. The hours Boromir must have devoted to this fine-motor task!

Boromir also displays a grand flair in the shoulder form with a ruffle effect and highlighted puffy sleeves. The ruffle has always been an example of the "hierarchical" element in dress. When worn by men, they have been noted to produce the "Seduction Principle," an attempt to exploit the wearer's charms as a man while compensating for his inadequacies in other areas. Obviously Boromir is wearing a ruffle in order to show his status in society--a status not shared by his considerably slimmer-lined brother. This is accentuated by opening to boddice in front to display the head of the sword which is allowed hang insouciantly at his side.

Clearly this season Boromir is using clothing to establish a position which appears larger or more dominant than his actually is. The important question of course is whether this style will in fact persuade the Borowatchers this seasons of his real worth or whether he will be regarded as someone who choose the wrong measures to attain his desires.

~~~with apologies to Women's Fashions of the Elizabethan era. (http://www.springfield.k12.il.us/schools/springfield/eliz/womensfashion.html)

[Holbytlass]

Denethor: No, you can't grow out your hair! Do you want to be mistaken for girls?!

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Boromir: "What do you mean his name's 'Faramir'? I've been calling him Fimple!"

[Valesse]

Faramir: -I- am
Boromir: No, -I- am!
(Denethor approaches)
Boromir: It's time we've heard the end of this madness! Father! Which of us is the cuter one?
Denethor: ...(shakes head)

[Lalwendë]

Denethor: Faramir, how many times have I told you that the short pants with high boots look is out.

Faramir: Well I never!

Boromir: "Ooh, what do you know, Dad? If Stella McCartney says it's 'in' this season then us boys are gonna wear it!"

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Faramir: Boromir has a sword! You have a sword! When do I get mine?

OR

Faramir: Oh I see! Boromir asks for a Lego city and gets osgiliath! I ask for new armour and get cow droppings!

[Gurthang]

Denethor is trying to make a very valuable point here with his sons. They'll never get it though, because they cannot take their minds, or eyes, off of the spider crawling on the wall.

OR

Faramir: "Dad, there's something around your neck!"
Denethor: "Oh, I know..."
Boromir: "Well, what is it. It looks disgusting."
Denethor: "It's my new pet snake. It's of the furry boa breed."
Faramir. "Oh, and I thought it was a feather boa!"

OR

Faramir(speaking of Denethor): "What the devil is that!"
Boromir: "I don't know. Just ignore it, maybe it will leave."

OR

Faramir: "Oh, drat, here's father."
Boromir: "Don't move. Maybe he hasn't seen us yet."

[Valesse]

Boromir: Psst... Hey Faramir... Dare you to say "Aragorn" three times fast.
Faramir: What? Here? Infront of Father? You're trying to get him to kill me!
Boromir: It isn't like he won't do it anyway!

[Boromir88]

Boromir and Faramir always lending a helping hand to the Senior Citizens of Minas Tirith...

Boromir: What? I'm not giving you any money...crazy lunatic.

[THE Ka]

Boromir: What are you doing here?!

Faramir: Tah, Yeah!

Denethor: Dude, you guys, are like completely out of it... It's "Tuh, Yeah!" and you don't raise you're left eyebrow until after the sentence...

~ Aesthete

[Glirdan]

Faramir and Boromir trying out for the wrong movie

Farami + Boromir - We are the knights who say Ni!!!

Denethor - Uh, guys, the set for the Quest for the Holy Grail is two sets over.

or

Faramir - Dad? How did you get here?

Denethor - I don't know!!

Boromir - Were you using MapQuest again?

Denethor - I knew should have taken that left turn at Alberquerque!! Stupid MapQuest!!! :mad:

[The Only Real Estel]

Boromir: "Dude, didn't you get the memo? Show Up To Work In Your Pajamas Day was yesterday, today it's Wear Your Best Armour Day."

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Faramir really has no idea what's going on.

OR

Boromir: Look! Before you say it, I didn't burn down your treasury! And If I did it was an accident! But I didn't! In fact, you never had a treasury!

Denethor: Oh, don't worry Boromir; I'll just blame Faramir.

Faramir: ... Oh never mind...

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Boromir and Faramir's encounter with the bouncer.

[Boromir88]

Here it comes, you though for one caption there wouldn't be...

Denethor is aware his popularity rating is falling so to try to boost it back up he pulls only a move Gandalf would do...uncloak :eek:

OR

Boromir: The long baggy cloak is so out of style. Chicks dig the armor now.

Faramir: Yeah, especially leather because it brings out your figure.

[Maeggaladiel]

Denny: What are you boys doing out here at this hour?

Far: Sheez! Nothing!

Bor: You're totally cramping our style, old man!

Denny: You've been hanging out with those Osgilliath boys again, haven't you?!

[The Only Real Estel]

Denethor: "Whazzup homeboys? Chillin' in your crib or just hangin' on the down low? I'll have you know I ain't no fresh turkey I been cruisin' on the curb longer than you been crackin' on the lackin' and I know it's all about the blanky blanky."

Faramir and Boromir: :eek:

[Gothmog]

Denethor: Here you are! I just realized, it's no idea to fight any more. We should...

Faramir: Ehhh, daddy? Could you...

Denethor: Don't interupt you worthless excuse for a son! Why aren't you more like your brother? Now listen, if we abandon our posts now and create...

Boromir: *HRM* Father, I acually think you should...

Denethor: YOU TOO? Now, what could be more important than...

Boromir: But... (*CLONK* Denethor falls to the ground).....I just wanted to say that Gandalf stands behind with his staff, and he's not afraid too use it

OR

Boromir was disgusted to find his father roaming the citadel only wearing his nightgown. For the 7th time!

OR

D: Behold, the Dark Lord, King of all men and ruler of the world! I aaam the Greatest!

B: No your not! And the outfit is ridiculous!

F: Been looking in that Seeing Stone again, have you? Come here, I'll take care of you.

[luthien-elvenprincess]

Faramir: "Oh Dad! Great timing! We were just going over a last minute switch-er-roo in the dance routine. Tell me what you think of doing, "bump, bump, slide, scuff, slide, scuff, twirl and bump; instead of the same ole bump, bump, slide, slide, twirl bit. Oh yeah, what about doing "jazzy hands" during the slide, scuff, slide, scuff part? Huh, Dad, huh??? Whadda think???

[The Only Real Estel]

Boromir: "Yeah, so then I'm like, I'll be your Gondorian Knight In Shining Armour, and she's all like --uh, oops. Hey Dad."

[Beanamir of Gondor]

Faramir: "Oh Dad! Great timing! We were just going over a last minute switch-er-roo in the dance routine. Tell me what you think of doing, "bump, bump, slide, scuff, slide, scuff, twirl and bump; instead of the same ole bump, bump, slide, slide, twirl bit. Oh yeah, what about doing "jazzy hands" during the slide, scuff, slide, scuff part? Huh, Dad, huh??? Whadda think???

Denethor: What are you boys doing now?

Boromir: [hastily hides controller behind back] Uh... nothing, Dad.

Denethor: Is that DDR?!?

Faramir: Um... no....

Denethor: [turns purple] You boys are playing Disco Disco Revolutions behind my back again?!? That's it--you're both grounded!

[The Elf-warrior]

Boromir: "Me, trying to impersonate the Vice-President, don't be silly!"

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Faramir: Look, father, you're not Gandalf, so the uncloaking just isn't funny!

Denethor: Is that why I'm being replaced?

Boromir: YES!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v604/hukbillgoomba/Crazy%20captions/frodoandsam_indoorway.jpg

Orcs discover the wonders of soap!

OR

Frodo: I would like two Barad-dur burgers, two large fries, a coke and a happy meal for Sam.

Sam: Erm, Mr. Frodo that's not a Hornburger store it’s just an Orc... What do you mean, Happy Meal?

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Mustelidaphobia: The fear that somehow, somewhere, a badger is watching you.

[Gurthang]

Frodo: "I think they're making fun of us."
Sam: "I've never seen anyone laugh 'til they threw up."

OR

Sam: "What do you mean our outfits are out of season?"

OR

Frodo(dull monotone): "Oh, look. It's Gandalf."
Sam(dull monotone): "Oh, and he's uncloaking."
Frodo(dull monotone): "I am sooo surprised."
Sam(dull monotone): "Yeah... I am in shock."

OR

Frodo's hair suddenly awakens and begins to groggily look around.

[Lhunardawen]

The captured 'spies' were punished by having to work as mannequins at Sauron's clothing shop.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

It was a bad day for Middle-earth when Frodo and Sam realised that the lands beyond Cirith Ungol was not actually Mordor . . .

Sam: Stupid MapQuest . . .

[Boromir88]

Frodo: The Holy Grail lies in the Castle Augggghh. What's that mean?

Sam: I think that means we're on the wrong set.

OR

Frodo just found out Sam switched his Strawberry Shampoo, from the Woodland Realm, with Pink Pepto Bismol.

[Meela]

Little do they know that they have just disguised themselves in the traditional garb of elderly Orc women.

[mormegil]

Sam and Frodo wait for the announcement of the lottery.

Orc Overlord: And the winner of the tram ride up Mt. Doom is Skaishásh the Bloody-handed

Frodo: Dang! I was really hoping to win that tram ride.

Sam: I'll be your tram, Mister Frodo.

[The Only Real Estel]

Frodo did not find his role as the Thanksgiving Turkey in his high school play amusing.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Sam: "You look mighty attentive today, Mr. Frodo."

Frodo: "Yes. I've set a bear trap over yonder and I'm watching to see if Gandalf gets caught in it."

Sam: "You're one sick son-of-a-gun, Mr. Frodo."

Frodo: "I sure am."

[Kath]

Frodo and Sam catch sight of themselves in a mirror.

[The Only Real Estel]

After losing the One Ring in a gamble with Gorbag, Frodo had to admit Sam was right. He was a compulsive gambler who made stupid bets.

[Valesse]

Sam: Alright Mister Kurum, tell us where we can find some orkish bri'ches or I'll get Frodo here to whine, complain, and angst at you.
Frodo: He isn't kidding, either.

OR

Frodo: "Do you hear the people sing? Singing the song of angry men! Its a music of a people who will not be slaves again!..."
Sam: ...Bless me, I think you need to take a rest, Mister Frodo. I don't hear anything.

OR

Unbeknownst to the rest of the Fellowship Sam and Frodo were keeping tally of just how many orcs Gimli and Legolas slaughters in Pelennor Fields.
Sam: Seven hundred fifty eight...
Frodo: ...Legolas is still at nineteen...

[dancing spawn of ungoliant]

The moment when Sam and Frodo realized that apparently there wasn't such a thing as Dress-down Friday in Gondor.

[The Only Real Estel]

Innocent villagers Frodo and Sam stand sullenly by and watch the remaining wolves do their taunting, over-the-top victory dance...a precursory to dinner.

-or-

Frodo was not impressed by the orc's "receding hairline" joke.

[Gothmog]

Frodo: I will go all the way! Nothing can stop me!

Sam: Yes, and I will go with you. Till the bitter end. We will reach the final and win the M-E football tournament! GO SHIRE!

OR

Sam: Please, just talk to me!

Frodo: .......

Sam: Come on! I can't help I got elven ears!

Frodo: If you don't tell me where you got those, you and I are finished.

[luthien-elvenprincess]

Frodo and Sam were filled with concern as they realized that the fabled Orcian Census Ritual that involved counting tattooed buttocks was no fable. In fact, the revealing ritual was in full swing right before their unbelieving eyes and the census board was headed their way!

(They hadn't realized how close they were to the Crack of Doom!)

[Naz]

Denethor: What are you boys doing now?

Boromir: [hastily hides controller behind back] Uh... nothing, Dad.

Denethor: Is that DDR?!?

Faramir: Um... no....

Denethor: [turns purple] You boys are playing Disco Disco Revolutions behind my back again?!? That's it--you're both grounded!

Ha! Never shall I read "DDR" the same way again! :D

[Gil-Galad]

Frodo: well that didn't work...

Sam: yep...what if we built a giant wooden badger!

[The Elf-warrior]

Frodo and Sam listen as Marc Antony gives his funeral oration for Julius Caesar.

[Fordim Hedgethistle]

Sam: Two days ago, I saw a rig that can haul that tanker of yours. You want to get out of here, you talk to me...

Frodo: That's right, partner! You and me together, all the way!

With apologies to anyone born after 1970 and thus probably completely incapable of getting the joke...

[The Only Real Estel]

The esteemed Fordim Hedgethistle (offcamera): "So, Sam, Frodo, what do you guys think? Is Eru God? (http://forum.barrowdowns.com/showthread.php?p=429378#post429378)"

Frodo and Sam: "Uh..."

[THE Ka]

To appease the current appetite for hobbit boy bands amoungst young orcs everywhere, low bugit magazines would commonly rent out Sauron's collection of hobbit prisoner cardboard cut-outs...

~ Ka

[Ordimor]

Sam: You're right Mr. Frodo, I am getting chaffed.

[Roa_Aoife]

Sam: Don't move. He can't see us if we don't move.

[Gurthang]

Frodo: "And now that I see him I do pity him."
Sam: "Now, that's no way to talk about our Director!"

OR

Sam: "I didn't know Cirith Ungol got cable!"

OR

Arwen must be walking by.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

The Hobbits just didn't get Orc comedian's jokes.

OR

Unfortunately, it seems that Frodo had put on the armour of the Mouth of Sauron's dentist and so had to do his duties.

[Lhunardawen]

Sam and Frodo didn't exactly appreciate the "You look fat" comment.

[Boromir88]

Frodo: He insulted my mother!

Sam: Hey, you take that back, only I can insult Mr. Frodo's mother.

[The Saucepan Man]

Frodo and Sam soon discovered that the reality of being a soldier in Mordor's army was somewhat less attractive than the recruitment poster had promised.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Watching Orcs eat was never pleasant. Watching Orcs eat each other was surprisingly entertaining though.

OR

Frodo: I don’t care how much you pay me, I am not uncloaking! Who do you think I am? Gandalf?

[Mithalwen]

A solemn moment as Sam and Frodo prepare to exchange their vows in their themed Civil Partnership ceremony.....

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Frodo: "Is there anything fluffier than a cloud?"

Sam: "If there is I don't wanna know about it."

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Sam: OK. now we're in Mt. Doom. Throw the Ring in!

Frodo (thinking): Oh no, I think I dropped it in Gorgoroth!

[Oddwen]

Arwen must be walking by.
...uncloaked.

Or...

Sam: Ready for our rain dance, Mister Frodo?
Fro: Ready, Sam.

Or...

After waking up from their drunken stupor, neither of the Hobbits could remember the party the night before, and neither of them could identify whose leather skirt that Frodo wore around his neck or why Sam had an ostrich wrapped around his.

[The Only Real Estel]

Frodo and Sam's reaction when they saw that Pippin had gone through all of their Thanksgiving bags of candy corn and eaten all of those awesome pumpkins...you know what I'm talking about.

[mormegil]

Sam: Ummm, Mister Frodo I have a confession to make. That wasnt' lembas I just gave you....

[Gurthang]

Frodo is mad because....

...He's wearing a dress.

...PJ is laughing at his hair.

...Someone ate the last bit of chees.

...PJ just cut more of his lines.

...PJ says to cut his hair.

[THE Ka]

And Frodo said: 'Quick! New picture! Before the mob of hungry young orcs sees us!'

http://newmoon22.tripod.com/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/leggyandbill.jpg

Legolas was facinated by Bill's amazing sheen and took to a scheme of bartering everything from L'Oreal products to the swarm of fan girls soon approaching...

~ Aesthete

[Roa_Aoife]

Legolas: Oh my Eru! Bill ate Gimlli! Give him back! Why.. oh, why? :sob:

[Alcarillo]

Hmmmm. . . Can't see this one. :confused:

[mormegil]

http://newmoon22.tripod.com/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/leggyandbill.jpg

Legolas claims to have killed 42 orcs at helms deep but our hidden cameras reveal he was simply guarding the stable singing elvish music to the horses.




If this doesn't work try this link (http://newmoon22.tripod.com/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/leggyandbill.jpg)

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Legolas: That’s right, Bill, eat the nasty ring...

OR

Bill had sworn he'd never work with elves again, but lack of work and the mounting bills had forced him into doing one last Lembas advertisement.

Legolas: See! Even old Bill here loves the stuff!

Bill: :rolleyes:

[Valesse]

Legolas poorly repays a frightened Bill after using him in target practice.

OR

Legolas: Bill! Smell this! Thats right... we're finally on Figwit's trail. After all these long years -I- will soon be the prettiest! MWAHAHA!

[Meela]

Legolas: That's it, eat the grass, you stinky, ungroomed... ow, that's my finger.... not the finger, Bill... not the finger! Bad pony!

[Kitanna]

Legolas feeds Bill the Pony some soylent green.

[The Elf-warrior]

Legolas: "You don't want me to ride you because you think I'm too heavy? Well, here's something to change your mind."

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Legolas: If we give Bill some cocaine, he'll go faster.

Bill the pony zooms off into the distance leaving the fellowship behind.

Aragorn: :mad:

Or

Legolas: Look! Bill is eating!

All: Thanks corporal obvious!

Legolas: I thought I was a captain.

Aragorn: You've been promoted.

[Holbytlass]

I still can't see the picture, but I'll take a stab at it.....

Legolas: You still think I'm the prettiest, don't you, Bill? *sniff*

[The Only Real Estel]

Legolas: "Hey, Bill! Take a sniff of this..."

[CaptainofDespair]

Legolas and Bill, despite the odds, have become best of friends.

Legolas: No, Bill, I won't let them do that to you. I know Aragorn says he's dead-set on it, but I won't let them send you to the Marshmellow Factory. <pets Bill>

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Legolas dose not realise that he is feeding Bill bits of his own hair.

[Valesse]

Legolas: "Hello, I'm Legolas. Neither Stever Erwin or Jack Hannah couldn't been here today for our show on brumbie ponies... Oh Eru it's slobbering on me. MAKE-UP!!"

[davem]

Excerpt from :The Weed: or Gone to Seed Again'. Being the Memoirs of a sprig of Old Toby:

"What shall we do, what shall we do!"he cried. "Escaping Elves to be eaten by ponies!" he said, and it became a proverb, though we now say 'out of the frying-pan into the fire' in the same sort of uncomfortable situations."

[malkatoj]

The picture still isn't showing up...even in the link. ::sad face::

[Fordim Hedgethistle]

Legolas: I am feeding Bill the Pony some grass with my right hand while my left hand is cupped in ever so becoming a gesture, as though I wish to brush my fingers along the jawbones of my adoring leggyboppers with gentle yet sensual attention. I am very pretty.

[The Only Real Estel]

The only drawback of visiting Lothlorien was the horrible food. Legolas was known for sneaking his dinner out and feeding it to poor Bill the Pony to avoid offending Galadriel...

[Ordimor]

NO picture viewable. All it says is "image hosted by tripod".

[Hookbill the Goomba]

NO picture viewable. All it says is "image hosted by tripod".
Try this:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v604/hukbillgoomba/Crazy%20captions/leggyandbill.jpg

Legolas: He he! Good Bill! Eat the evidence!

[Gothmog]

The only drawback of visiting Lothlorien was the horrible food. And Legolas was bored of having vegetarian fod....

Legolas: Here you go Bill, eat this so you get fat and tender *HRM* I mean good looking and slender of course. You look so juicy *HRM* cosy... Would you like to be my dinner............company tonight?

Bill runs away into the distance

:eek: :eek: :eek:

[Kath]

Legolas: No! Bill this is MY grass! I need it to keep my teeth clean, you don't!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Bill needed some food to calm him down after seeing Gandalf the grey uncloaked.

OR

Bill seemed to have got some of the traits of his old master. He managed to swipe Legolas' ring, wristband and watch all in a second.

[Lalwendë]

Legolas: "I know they said your nose was long, Galadriel, but I think you are beautiful. I don't think you look like a horse."

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

As they reached the glue factory, Legolas realised he was really gonna miss Bill.

OR

Legolas: "Yes horsey; once I poison you, everyone will think I'm the real Legolas! A hahahahahaha!!!"

[Lalwendë]

A rare recording of Legolas "Dougal" Greenleaf singing to his Lovely Horse (http://www.blowupthemoon.com/samples/data/504/4myhorseraw.wav)

[The Saucepan Man]

Gimli: Stop feeding that dumb animal!

Bill: Aw, he looked kind of hungry ...

[Mithalwen]

cos the captions are so intriguing.............

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Bill: Well, then. Time for a change

Legolas: But I was just beginning to enjoy myself!

Bill: It can talk! :eek:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v604/hukbillgoomba/Crazy%20captions/erdr_180304_008.jpg

Gandalf wondered if the uncloaking was the reason that everyone ran from him.

Gandalf: Hmmm... Nah! Can't be!

OR

Gandalf: Look! I can stand on one foot!

[Mithalwen]

"what a swell party that was" thought Gandalf " but the clearing up will take forever" . Then he has a flashback of the incident with the Mumak and the fishpond....

[Gothmog]

Gandalf has been playing with fireworks again:

Gandalf: So what did you think? Too much gun powder? Anybody?

OR

Gandalf: No, PJ I won't do it again. There's the Burger Express and I'm already late! I'm sure Gimli is first in the line as usual...

[Lalwendë]

Gandalf uses his mastery of fire to cause total destruction of the washing lines at the Wizards' Cloak Laundering Service. Now he has a perfect excuse to go sans cloak. :eek:

[Valesse]

The easiest game of "Where's Gandalf" ever devised.

[Formendacil]

Gandalf may have defeated the army of orks, but the Mordorian army was sending in the truckloads of marines.

[mormegil]

Gandalf a way to exploit the role he played in the war of the ring for financial success.

Gandalf: I always fight my battles in my Noldorian Combat boots, shouldn't you? They are available in an assortment of colors at a any fine retailer.

[Kath]

Ian McKellan (to people offscreen): Alright, which one of you lot did this? It took PJ hours to set this all up right and now look! He's not going to be happy and I tell you now I am not taking the blame!

PJ: Ian! What have you done!

Others: ;)

[Meela]

As ever, Gandalf manages to arrive just as the battle finishes, and always with a good excuse:

"Shadowfax ate my staff."
"My cloak was dirty."
"My cloak was dirty and there was a queue at the laundrette."
"My cloak was dirty and there was a queue at the laundrette, and they were out of Dazzle 'Em, the only washing powder that guarantees this level of pristine whiteness."
"I was arrested for indecently uncloaking in public."

Somehow he's never been late for lunch.


OR

Gandalf stars in the new advertising campaign for Dazzle 'Em.

"Sponsor of Middle-earth Battles Inc. It'll be all-white on the night."

[The Saucepan Man]

While relieved to see the Riders of Rohan arrive, Gandalf nevertheless felt that horses, rather than trucks, would have been more in keeping with the occasion.

Merry, of course, rode in the van with Eowyn. ;)

[Maeggaladiel]

Bill Pic:
Legolas loved the petting zoo.


OR

After the third time, Legolas began to think that Bill was PURPOSEFULLY interrupting his Tai Chi lessons.


Gandalf pic:
"Arwen said she'd kiss me if I was the last man on earth."

[Ordimor]

Now I can view the pix. THANKS!

[Ordimor]

I told you my Schwartz was the biggest!

[Glirdan]

Gandalf: I feel pretty oh so pretty!! What!?! We're filming!! *Thud*

or

Gandalf: I'm here to talk to you about the troubles of war. This is what it does to you. Ok, wait a minute. Why am I doing this? I was part of it!!!

or

Gandalf: Oh my gosh!! Denethor just uncloaked!! He totaly stole my thing!!! GRRR!!! :mad:

[Kitanna]

Gandalf: Come play with us Frodo, come play with us...forever and ever and ever...

or

Gandalf beckons Pippin so they can skip around picking flowers.

[The Only Real Estel]

Proverbs 18:24: "A man who wants friends must show himself friendly, not uncloak frequently in their presence." -TEV (The Estel Version)

[Hookbill the Goomba]

"Arwen said she'd kiss me if I was the last man on earth."

Arwen: Gandalf, you're not a man, remember?

[Valesse]

Gandalf: It's...! (Liberty Bell plays ala Python)

OR

The Werewolves won this round.

[Lhunardawen]

Gandalf wonders if he is starting to take less baths than Aragorn does.

[Lalwendë]

The Mordor athletics team wreaked havoc during the Javelin event at the 3019 Minas Tirith Olympics.

[Boromir88]

Gandalf just wants to "Get on with it!"

OR

Gandalf was out of a job after the War of the Ring, so he does his civic duty, and enlists as a tour guide.

[Gothmog]

As ever, Gandalf manages to arrive just as the battle finishes, and always with a good excuse:

"Shadowfax ate my staff."
"My cloak was dirty."
"My cloak was dirty and there was a queue at the laundrette."
"My cloak was dirty and there was a queue at the laundrette, and they were out of Dazzle 'Em, the only washing powder that guarantees this level of pristine whiteness."
"I was arrested for indecently uncloaking in public."

Somehow he's never been late for lunch.

Gandalf: A wizard is never late, nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he intended to!

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Casually checking to see if everyone else is tending to the fallen, Gandalf slyly ambles toward the unoccupied bag of money.

[malkatoj]

Gandalf, to the army that did the killing:

Good night, men! Good work! Sleep well!

I'll most likely kill YOU in the morning... ::tening fingers::


(The light is from...explosions. Not day.)

[Roa_Aoife]

You want me to what?!?!?!

[Gurthang]

Gandalf: "You've got to be kidding me! I guess there really are Starbucks everywhere!"

OR

Gandalf's lost. And guess what. He used MapQuest.
Gandalf: "Stupid MapQuest."

OR

Gandalf has spotted the breakdancing orcs. Dancing to 'Sandstorm'!

OR

Gandalf: "Now which of these sticks is my staff?"

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Gandalf's new trainers (sneakers to all ye across the pond) made everyone accuse him of being a witch. It’s a shame he had to burn them all.

OR

Glamdring tries to escape.

[Lalwendë]

Those nightmares where you are walking down the street in your dressing gown and pyjamas were a fact of everyday life for poor Gandalf.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Gandalf defeats the enemy with the trusty Moonwalk.

[Boromir88]

Gandalf: What's in your wallet?

[gralin musicteeth]

Gandalf: What are YOU looking at?!?!

[Morsul the Dark]

For Conker's Bad Fur Day Fans:

Gandalf:I told them not to make me get the duct tape.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Poker Fans:

Gandalf to Audience: If you had pocket aces and lost to a 4-5 offsuit you'd be mad too!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------
General:

Gandalf:You wont like me when Im angry
Offscreen Director of the Hulk: no youre supposed to say that BEFORE killing everyone!
Gandalf:Oh...........uh.....woops?

[Holbytlass]

Gandalf: Has anyone one seen Pip? He's wearing black.

[mormegil]

Gandalf: DENETHOR! I told you one year ago how this could have been prevented and yet you didn't listen. Now you will need to answer for such destruction. It is truly a pity and shame that so much grass had to die because you didn't install an irrigation system.

[Kath]

Gandalf: Elrond, when I said we would be placing our trust in men now I didn't mean it as a threat - there was no need to do this!

[Morsul the Dark]

in a strange twist John Wayne suddenly appears as the mouth of sauron. he and Gandalf have a classic western stare down music and tumbleweed included....what is tumbleweed?

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Faramir: Wasn't Minas Tirith here?

Gandalf: erm... no?

[Valesse]

I couldn't resist another (possibly undertapped, here) Pythonism.

Gandalf: (In a calm, narrative voice.) Nobody expects the Entish Inquisition. Their cheif weapons are fear, fear and supply. Fear, supply, and a ruthless effiecency. Fear, supply, a ruthless effiecency and an almost fanatical devotion to the... the, ahh...
Gathered crowd (far left background): GET ON WITH IT!

ALSO

Gandalf: Ah! Well. Its a good thing I'm old enough to know how to 'duck and cover' properly. Good ol' Bert the Turtle.

[Gandalf_the _white]

Pippin (offscreen): whadda mean Gandalfs got no friends??? look at the truckload coming up behind him?!?!
lol my reps funny it says i've got the wisdom of myself! lol

[Gurthang]

Gandalf glances around to see if anyone is watching before pocketing for very full wallet he just found.

OR

Gandalf: "Maybe I shouldn't have had those extra beans."

OR

Gandalf was one of the few who realized he was being Punk'd before Ashton Kutcher came out and told him. He quickly spotted the camera and proceeded to stare it down.

OR

Gandalf in his new music video, Gondorian Rhapsody.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Gandalf: I think its time for a new picture. Everyone has deserted me. Lets try someone seldom seen...


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v604/hukbillgoomba/Crazy%20captions/gloin1.jpg

Gloin: You're going to take Gandalf with you? Don't you know about his cloak problem?

OR

Gloin didn't really expect Elrond to eat a thousand cakes in one sitting.

[Kath]

Actor: What do you mean I'm not tall enough to play Saruman!?!

[Meela]

A great dwarven secret is revealed: bra padding works just as well on beards.

OR

This is why the art of braiding really should just be left to the elves.

OR

The world finally learns what a female dwarf looks like, when Gimli brings his mother to the Council.

[mormegil]

"Grandpa did you sit on the apple pie?"

Grandpa Dwarf: I sure hope so.

[Morsul the Dark]

This particular fan had a busy schedule of a LOTR convention followed by a Star Trek Convention and therefore chose to dress as a klingon version of gandalf

EDIT: wheres that picture from if you could give us a link?

[Valesse]

There was some debating between the other races concerning the origin of the dwarves. Men seemed to be locked on to the idea first held by the elves: that they were the creation of Aule. But now, after years of affirmity, new thoughts about interbreeding with a very stocky Yeti came to arise.

The dwarves said they'd think about it. :rolleyes:

[Hookbill the Goomba]

sorry, Morsul, I can't remember. I was just generally wandering around Google Image search and came across it. I copy all my Crazy captions images into Photo bucket before posting them as that means that everyone can see the picture... I think.

Anyway, I digress...

Gloin: Just admit it, Elrond, my hair is better than yours!

OR

Legolas: Look! You are a dwarf!

Gloin: Who's Captain obvious here?

Aragorn: He's a corporal now.

[mormegil]

Gloin is obviously past his prime when during the middle of the council he poses the question, "Wait a minute! We are talking about a ring of power? I thought this was all about a spring of powder!"

[Mithalwen]

The actor playing Gloin is stunned when after spending 3 weeks in make-up he is told that his part is reduced to sitting silently in a chair.

"But the cosy chat at the feast with Frodo, the speech at the council..."

"gone,gone, gone..."

[Formendacil]

This is why Saruman had to turn to evil: to forestall getting fat and braiding his beard most unbecomingly.

[malkatoj]

*decides the picture is actually Gandalf*

Gandalf: This is the LAST time I let Gimli do my hair.

OR
*perhaps Legolas?*


Legolas: Hey, Gandalf! Look what you did! I was pretty before you went and uncloaked!

[Lhunardawen]

A typical reaction to Elrond's request for a Rivendell Santa.

[luthien-elvenprincess]

(Inspired by meela)
The world finally learns what a female dwarf looks like, when Gimli brings his mother to the Council.

"This stunning female dwarf, dressed as "Heidi", celebrates our Swiss friends in this year's Festival of Harmonious International Relationships."

[The Only Real Estel]

Middle-Earth Celebrity Jeopardy
----------------------------------------

Sean Connery: "It's been a long time, Trebek..."

Trebek: "As evidenced by your beard, if that's what you call it."

Sean Connery: "Inspired by your mother, Trebek, inspired by your mother."

[Maeggaladiel]

Elrond thought his disguise was perfect, but there was something about the eyebrows that always gave him away...


OR


ZZ Top's lesser-known guitarist.

[Gurthang]

Rivendel decided to hire a real dwarf to play Santa this year, mainly so he would have a real beard. To their great surprise, the dwarf shows up with a fake beard!
Dwarf: "Hey, you can't play Santa without a fake beard!"

OR

This is Gandalf on a not-good-but-not-bad hair day. You don't even want to think about what a truly bad hair day looks like.

OR

PJ awakens to find that a disgruntled actor has glued a beard to his face.

OR

Dwarf: "Hair-cut? What's a hair-cut?"

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Bilbo: That gloin! The first time I clapped eyes on the little fellow bobbing and puffing on the mat, I had my doubts! He looks more like a grocer than a warrior!

Gloin: Eh? What? Sorry, But I am a grocer now.

[Lalwendë]

Gloin winces with every movement he makes, as he realises he has accidentally caught up some of his abundant chest hair into his beard braid.

[Anguirel]

In one of his fiendishly cunning disguises, Ugluk gatecrashes the Council of Elrond...

UGLUK: (adjusting false beard) Give Ring to Saruman! He is both Wise and Powerful! I command!

Or

There was an old Dwarf with a beard
Who said, "It is just as I feared!
An Elf and two men
Four hobbits and then
A Wizard, have styled my beard!"

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

"Urrrr!!! Blasted Hobbits, interrupting the Council. I'm so angry!!!"

[mormegil]

Gloin: WHAT!?!? I thought this council was a catered affair.

[Gurthang]

Gloin: WHAT!?!? I thought this council was a catered affair.
Disgruntled Dwarf dials Dominos for double decker pizza.

OR

Gloin: "Fuzzy bunnies? GRRR! I can't be angry under these conditions!"

[Holbytlass]

This what I think *insert name* looks like. (a post from 'how do you imagine other BDers)


-Yay, Anguriel, a lymerick!

[littlemanpoet]

My first attempt, so please be gracious ... :p

Gloin: "I am smiling."

[Fordim Hedgethistle]

Gloin: All Elves arrrre stoopid prrrrrats. Neow someone give me a tankarrrd of ale.

*Gloin then farts, belches and slips on a banana peel*

Legolas (off-screen): Behold! Gloin has farted, belched and slipped on a banana peel!

[Ordimor]

What do you mean a "house" fell on my sister?????
:confused: