Crazy Captions

[Kitanna]

Uruk: You call that a dance? This is a dance!

[The Sixth Wizard]

Uruk: Limbo!

OR

PJ: No we have not got too much CGI in the movie! There's a speck of sky somewhere there that's real! **points** SEE!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Uruk: Ah! Look at that!

Gandalf: Pfft! I'm not falling for that!

*SPLAT*

OR

Gandalf had polished his sword before the battle because he knew that Uruks couldn't look at their own reflection.

[The 1,000 Reader]

Uruk: Damn...lag. Sword...hasn't even...touched me...yet. Wizard...noob.

Background Uruk: Fe3t caut 0n laddy. Help plz!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

No one seems to notice the flying Uruk who is floating over the wall right now! :eek:

[Gandalf_the _white]

Gandalf attempts to skewer the uruk and make a kebab but forgot that he was in the matrix

[The Might]

*Frodo and Sam playing Z-box in Hobbiton*

Frodo: Sam, where are those codes, I need them now, Gandalf's losing!
Sam: I dunno where they are...

[Gil-Galad]

G@nDalF Da gR8: i slice you down with my +12 Elven Sword of killing Uruks!

Uruk:... surely you can't be serious

G@nDalF Da gR8: of course i'm serious! and don't call me shirely!

[Lalwendë]

"He's a cannonball wizard
There's got to be a twist
A cannonball wizard
He's got such a supple wrist"

[Nimrodel_9]

Gandalf had only his staff to defend himself from the Uruk-loogey. :p

[shieldmaiden4xsword]

Gandalf uses the Force to choke the Uruk.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Gandalf is sick of these break-dancing Orcs.

OR

The top of Gandalf's umbrella flew away.

[The Might]

Gandalf: Two more orcs and I reach Level 30...that would so awesome!

[mormegil]

Gandalf: Come here Uruk and let me see the quality of your bit mapping! Hummm...Not bad but the mechanics on your physics could use some improvement.

[Mithalwen]

Yet more deadly to the uruk, than the wizard's staff or Glamdring was Gandalf's rendition of "Jake the Peg"

[Vuelve]

Gandalf: Say it! SAY IT!!!!!!!

Uruk (mumbles): yourmydaddy.

Gandalf: What was that?

Uruk: YOUR MY DADDY!!!! There are you happy??!!

Gandalf: Yes run along now.


:eek:

[The Might]

I just thought of a new one:

Gandalf: Why don't Gondorian archers run away when they see huge burning stones flying towards them ??? No wonder we're losing...

[shieldmaiden4xsword]

The Uruk was struck down by Gandalf's Balrog smelling breath.

[Kuruharan]

Uruk: l33t hax!!!

Gandalf: w00t!! omgbbq!!!!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Uruk: l33t hax!!!

Gandalf: w00t!! omgbbq!!!!

Gondorian Archer: Seriously, I can't understand a word they're saying!

[The 1,000 Reader]

Gondorian Archer: Seriously, I can't understand a word they're saying!

Gondorian Archer 2: Yeah, Gandalf uses the Black Speech in the worst places. I heard he said it in Elrond's Place.

[The Only Real Estel]

Gandalf: "This is Glamdring. You've seen it before."

Uruk: "No, actually I haven't. And what's up with the snowboots?"

[Beanamir of Gondor]

Random Uruk: TREBUCHET!!!
Gandalf: They're CATAPULTS, you moron. Only the Gondorians are using trebuchets in this scene.

[shieldmaiden4xsword]

Gandalf: Gandalf's Great Glamdring Gambol will win over your Uruk's Utterly Useless Undulations!!!!!!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Gandalf: Look! It's time for a NEW picture! Okay?

Uruk: Never!

http://i69.photobucket.com/albums/i55/Thinlomien/hanniklonkku.jpg

Gollum: Why are the steps on this ladder so small? :(

OR

Gollum tries out his home made Television...

[Oddwen]

Spawn: Nilp...my precious...

;)

[The 1,000 Reader]

Prison would teach Gollum a thing or two about stalking. Okay, not really.

[Volo]

The advertisment for "Adventures of Gollum", a film in which Gollum goes on a quest to find his mother Ungoliant.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Spawn: Nilp...my precious...

;)Oh. :D

Enedwaith, to keep this on topic . . .

Gollum: What does this lever do . . .

[Kitanna]

Gollum attempts to imitate Kilroy.

[The Might]

The Poster for a new reality show where the Nine Walkers are closed in a house together and Gollum acts as Big Brother

[mormegil]

Gollum was understandably upset when the elves of Mirkwood weren't interested in playing "peek-a-boo"

[The Elf-warrior]

Little Red Riding Hood: "My, what big eyes you have, Grandmother!"

Gollum: "All the better to see you with, my precious!"

[Hookbill the Goomba]

After forty nine sleepless nights listening to that brass band practice next door, Smeagol decided to take the law into his own hands.

[Oddwen]

Gollum was not good with babies.

Gollum: Peeks-a-boo, precious!

Baby: WAAAaaaAAAaaa!

[The Only Real Estel]

Middle Earth life was really no different from life today - you always have some incredibly smart person that gets bored or curious and decides to pull the lever marked Do Not Pull Except In Cases of Extreme Emergency!!!...

[Rikae]

Before they cast Brad Dourif, Cyan considered Gollum for the role of Saavedro in Myst:Exile.

Gollum: You wantsss the book? We giveses you the book, my love. Just please, please, don't leave usss trapped here like this! *gollum*

[shieldmaiden4xsword]

Gollum wondered why he had six fingers.

[High King Fingolfin]

Gollum was having trouble getting contact lenses that were the right size.

[The Only Real Estel]

Cheesy Voiceover: "Smile! You're on Candid Camera!"

Gollum: "Curse you, tricksy."

[Holbytlass]

Gollum to Frodo: see see-we's not so different both like ring both have big eyes both bite nails

[Nimrodel_9]

Gollum's nose turns into a finger. :p

(I really couldn't come up with anything.)

[shieldmaiden4xsword]

Gollum tries to imitate Elrond.

[The Might]

Gollum managed to sneak into Rivendell and is watching Arwen take a shower.:p

[Nimrodel_9]

Gollum: Look precious! A new pic! :eek:
http://pageperso.aol.fr/loverangels0705/images/legolas%20et%20aragorn%202.bmp
Aragorn: Legolas! We're surrounded! These are the scariest hobbits I've ever seen!
Legolas: Don't worry! They just want our crackers! Quick, throw them one! You do still have them... don't you?
Aragorn: (with mouth full) Umm..

[Oddwen]

Aragorn: (with mouth full) Umm..Legolas: Attention hobbits, do not attack us! Even as you surround us, there is a host at your backs awaiting our whistle! (Aragorn, whistle now!)

Aragorn: *wheefffpppllll* *pptttt* *ptttui!*

[Boromir88]

Aragorn: I thought the objective was to shoot the apple off Gimli's head?
Legolas: So it didn't work out exactly as my Dad read to me...I'm sure he'll be ok...Gimli?

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Aragorn: I know you never got on well with Merry, but did you have to fill him with helium?

OR

After Legolas finished a really dramatic speech before the battle, it was Aragorn who had to point out that he wasn't wearing any trousers.

[Kath]

Aragorn: Look out, the slash fanfic writers are here again.

Legolas: :eek:

[Kitanna]

Aragorn: Legolas, of course we can take on this whole host of Orcs ourselves. You lead us into battle.
Legolas: Alright, I'm going in and you better be right behind me, Aragorn.
Aragorn: *sneaks off*

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Aragorn: There should be no problem for our troops to defeat that massive orc army that is pouring out Moranon and what difference does 2 people make?

Legolas: OK lets get out of here, I don't feel like fighting and got the munchies anyway.

[High King Fingolfin]

Legolas: What do you think, Aragorn?

Aragorn: I think that Gandalf uncloaked breakdancing with orcs in an ad for Mapquest is just too much.

:eek: :eek:

[The Might]

Aragorn: Whoa dude, check out that blonde chick over there!
Legolas: Nah, I think I'm more into that redhead over there.
Gimli: (from behind): What? They don't even have beards!

[Legate of Amon Lanc]

Aragorn: Shh, Legolas, don't move but the tree behind you seems to observe us. What do you think we should do?
Legolas: Shoot him!

OR

Legolas: My elvish eyes can see a host of Orc warriors coming across the plain. They are far yet, but they are many. I can recognize the foul banners of the Lidless Eye. There are four high Orc-warriors among them, bigger and fiercer than the others. They bear signs of the White Hand. Moving fast. Two leagues far, not more.
Aragorn: Eh... and what about those twenty yards to the right?

[Oddwen]

Aragorn: Stop, ye Orken Horde! Hearken to my Deadly Dummy!
Aragorn(in a high voice, moving his dummy's lips): Ruh a'ay 'r i'gl k'll oooo!!

Or...

Aragorn: Look what I have carved!
Gimli: Is it real?
Legolas: I'm a real boy!

Or...

Aragorn: Legolas... se freachen du khobben de la?
Legolas: Seeg snu le habben labben "desanneaux.com"!

[Bêthberry]

Aragorn to Legolas: "Can you move your feet at all?

Legolas in reply: "No, not a bit."

Aragorn: "Darn. I never knew oliphant excrement would harden so fast."

[shieldmaiden4xsword]

Aragorn to hypnotized Legolas: listen to my voice..... listen to my voice...... that orc over there has your shampoo...... go and get it.....

hypnotized Legolas: NOOOOO!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

[Gandalf_the _white]

Legolas: When was the last time you had a bath? I'm going to be sick!

[mormegil]

Legolas: Ummm let's see, I just never know what to get here.

Aragorn: Well I'm ready. I'll have a number eight super-sized and hold the lettuce please.

[Maeggaladiel]

Aragorn: Party at Theoden's place. Pass it on.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

4,000th Post...

Aragorn: Don't look now, but Gandalf is behind you and you know what that means?

Legolas: Evil magic.

Aragorn: Erm... yeah... Let's go with that...

[shieldmaiden4xsword]

Legolas: Nay! I am determined to accomplish it, do what you will.
Aragorn: Is there nothing I can do to stop thee doing this horrible thing?
Legolas: Nay, fair Elf-friend, there is not, but at least I shall plead for thy friendship.
Aragorn: Thy fair and beautiful Elven voice is enough to bring me to tears. Say no more, I beg thee!
Legolas: I now beg thee to do this boon for thy eternal friend.
Aragorn: But.....
Legolas: There's nary a but about it. Thee must help me, sire.
Aragorn: I cannot do it for thee. Thou mayest shoot me in mine throat, but I cannot do this thing.
Legolas: PLEASE! I MUST WASH MY HAIR!!!
Aragorn: SHUDDUP!!!!!!!!

[Nimrodel_9]

Aragorn: Pssst! Legolas! Your zipper is down!

[Lalwendë]

Page 254 of the 1482 Breeman's Catalogue.

A. 'Oily look' overcoat, available in mud brown, sepia and coffee, sizes S-XXL. £69.99 or in 48 weekly installments of £1.75.

B. Sweaty tunic, available in beige, sand and khaki, sizes S-XXL. £39.99 or in 48 weekly installments of 95p.

Vambraces and belt available separately on page 292. Cheesy poses optional.

[Boromir88]

http://members.fortunecity.com/gabriella66/lordofrings/returnoftheking/97.jpeg

Theoden's 'death' speech before the battle didn't work out exactly in the way he hoped it would.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

If you can't see the picture, here it is...

http://i19.tinypic.com/2pt838i.jpg

Theoden: AAAGHH! I-... I've forgotten what to say...

OR

Eomer: We've run out of orange juice!

Theoden: Quick! To the supermarket!

[Thenamir]

Edoras Playbill: Seen here practicing their duet version of The Impossible Dream, King Theoden and his famous singing horse Snowmane will appear at the Eorling Mead Hall Little Theatre production of Man of La Mancha, tonight at 8pm.

[Lalwendë]

Oss: "And you can shut your whining, how do you think I feel having to carry a seventeen stone man wearing three stone of metalwork?"

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Theoden celebrates getting hold of a giant lollipop.

[Oddwen]

Theoden: HAAAAAAM!

Or...

Theoden: Hey, I can see my house from here!

[The Elf-warrior]

Theoden: "I categorically forbid you to destroy that Wal-Mart, Eomer!"

[shieldmaiden4xsword]

theoden, with his helm covering his eyes, wondered what everyone, including Snowmane, was laughing at.

[Morsul the Dark]

If George Lucas had directed LOTR this would be Frodo a full grown man who would never touch the one ring (http://youtube.com/watch?v=iPbFr5lxoEs)

[The Might]

Theoden: Victory!
Snowmane: I had to get through 3 castings to get this part...and now what? This strange guy on my back gets all the attention...and I thought I was going to be the star of the show...I think I'll have to buy me a "I was Theoden's horse and all I got was this lousy T-shirt" t-shirt...at least I get to squish the guy soon :mad:

[Nimrodel_9]

Theoden's new musical was a big hit! Even the horses were singing!

or

Theoden: Gaahhh! Gag! I think it's time we get some horsey-mints!

[The Sixth Wizard]

Theoden: DEATH!!!

Eomer: No you idiot the forces of Mordor are the other way... (turns Theoden around)

OR

Aaa...aaa...aaa...*coughs up furball*

OR

Theoden: Come, drought-stricken, war-affected peasants! Come follow your King (who has a Hall made of pure Gold) into battle for some reason he can't remember, fulfilling oaths made many generations back by other rich Kings to other even richer Kings, against a Dark Lord we don't know or have any contact with! Oh yeah, and then ride back making songs about how great he is! And after that sacrifice your lives at a big scary Gate for a one in a million chance to not have to do this again!

[Mithalwen]

Horse: You may think the left is your best side... mine is definitely the right....

[Lalwendë]

Theoden at the funfair: "Muuuum! Let me off! This carousel is scary!"

[davem]

Theoden: 'If you wrench back on the reigns really hard you can break your horse's neck. And if that doesn't work you can just behead it with your sword!'

And that was the point at which the Rohirrim knew their king was insane. Panic spread through the ranks of the assembled warriors, & the Haradrim achieved a great victory on the Fields of the Pelennor.....

[Mithalwen]

Horse: Great .... the king of the so-called "horse lords" hasn't noticed that the thoatlash is fastened over the rein and I think those are his house keys hanging from the headpiece...

[Elmo]

Come on lads, we might just get out of Aberdeen city centre alive!

[davem]

Theoden dons his ceremonial false wheels & leads the members of the Rohan branch of the Chorlton & the Wheelies fanclub in their official song:

Jump in we'll take you for a spin
and show you round the Wheelie World.
Hop on, it's fun to come along and take a look at Wheelie World.
You'll be surprised how good it feels
To zoom around all day and wheel so merrily with me,
You don't need a ticket, for we'll take you round for free
And if you see the witch Fenella don't be worried,
'Cos there's no cause for alarm (ha ha ha ha!)
'Cos we've got Chorlton who's the dragon who will keep you free from harm (ho ho ho ho!)
It's fun at any time of year,
So put your wheels in second gear
Back to the top And hold tight
Alright?
We'll show you all the sights of Wheelie World!

[Hama Of The Riddermark]

Theoden: DEAAAAA....Hang on, we're not supposed to be in The Shire...

Eomer: I told you to take a right turn!


A new one:

http://www.andrew.cmu.edu/user/jmartin/lotr/eomer.jpg

Eomer: Who farted during my speech?

or

Eomer, though trying to give the appearance of rugged hostility, could not completely disguise the discomfort of having an orc attached to his ankle by it's teeth.

[Nimrodel_9]

I'm getting the feeling this is not the men's room....

[Bêthberry]

Eomer gets a first look at Legolas' locks.

Or

Eomer contemplates Arwen's banner-making skills.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Aragorn's silly dance wasn't exactly impressive.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

The Stare of Death must ensure that Éomer's drink remains undisturbed while he answers the door.

or

Éomer realises that it was a prank call.

or

Éomer realises that Gimli & Legolas have added bad things to his drink.

or

Éomer realises that killing Gimli & Legolas in a rage was possibly not the least troublesome method.

or

Éomer needs a break and is in no mood to deal with the token hysterical woman crying on his favourite armchair.

or

Aragorn could have timed his request for more beer a little better.

or

The band get annoyed and everyone starts to leave.

or, of course:

Some drunk guy is leering at Éowyn.

[Boromir88]

Despite being an adult, and a Marshal of the Riddermark, Eomer still gets sent to the corner...

[Mithalwen]

The wind changed and he did stick like it....

[Elmo]

Eomer looks round to see if anyone notices he's peeing into Theoden's helm

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Eomer was quite annoyed to once again having tried in vain to get an apointment at the only hair dresser in Middle-earth.

[Oddwen]

Nostril Flare...of Dooooooom!

[The Sixth Wizard]

Eomer: Now who pinched my shampoo? Come on, or I'll sick Eowyn on you!

Eowyn: Hyaaaaa!

OR

Eomer is slightly annoyed after the battle of the Pelennor Fields to find two of his best men being led toward him by Ghan-buri-Ghan.

Ghan-buri-ghan: These man try steal my daughters! And they drunk!

First guy: Well okay, we did try to steal his *hiccup* grandaughters or *hiccup* whatever, but...

Second guy: We're not dunk! No... *hiccup* I swear to ... drunk ... *hiccup* I'm not ... Eru... (falls over)

[The Might]

Eomer: Ok, I'll only ask this once, who took my iPod?:mad:

[Thinlómien]

Eomer became very grumpy after getting a flu.

[High King Fingolfin]

Eomer: Behold my glaring powers!

[The Only Real Estel]

Whether it was really "all in fun" or not, Eomer didn't appreciate the other Riders "Eomer the Red-Nosed Rohirrim" jokes..

[FeRaL sHaDoW]

Eomer could not help but notice the cave troll hiding behind his chair


or


eomer thought he saw denethor fall past the window

[Hookbill the Goomba]

As Grima Wormtong rants about 'Warmongering' and 'Malcontent', Eomer reaches for the trap door leaver.

OR

Someone just told Eomer that Snoopy isn't real. ;)

[Mattius]

Eomer was getting mightily peeved- what he did not know is that Grima had put a sign on his back saying 'KICK ME'.

[ninja91]

Eomer: "If she looks at Aragorn one more time..."

[Maeggaladiel]

Mock my mustache, will they? I'll make them all pay. It does NOT look like a pair of leeches on my face.

[Volo]

Eomer is advancing towards the biscuit cupboard while Eowyn isn't looking.

[THE Ka]

Eomer gives a pout to rival Sartre...

~ Ka

[Rikae]

Eowyn asks, for the 57th time, "Do you think he likes me? 60 years isn't too much of an age difference, if it's true love, right?"

[The Only Real Estel]

Eomer, a Duke megafan, leaves the pub dejectedly; glancing over his shoulder at the victorious Virginia Commonwealth crowd.

*Apologies to Lush.. ;)

[Meela]

Following a nasty bite, Eomer duly transforms once a month into that hideous creature known as a Were-Warg. And one unfortunate soldier hasn't realised it's a full moon...

[Lalwendë]

Eomer: "You might well laugh at my moustache but you do not realise how much effort it takes to keep just that little bit under my nose hair-free"

[shieldmaiden4xsword]

Eomer: Make fun of my moustache or my hair or my nose one more time, and I'll set my wargs on you!

or

Eomer, stuck in that position after someone glued his feet to the floor, could only glare.

[Mithalwen]

Eomer: "You might well laugh at my moustache but you do not realise how much effort it takes to keep just that little bit under my nose hair-free"


It is called the philtrum (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philtrum) :)

[The Might]

Theoden just bough Eomer and Eowyn Happy Meals
Eomer: But I wanted the blue one!

[Beanamir of Gondor]

Day 38:
Theodred dead, Eowyn weepy, Uncle Theo indifferent. Hate everybody. Especially Grima. Told him to get out of Edoras, but he got very poncy with me.
Stupid git. See if I get him anything next time I pay a visit to Gap of Rohan.
Still not King... of Rohan.

[The Sixth Wizard]

A new picture?

http://www.geocities.com/batman_927/lor.jpg

The REAL Lord of the Rings!

OR

A man of Arabian descent is annoyed to find a sign saying 'Fellowship of the Ring' superglued to his fingers one morning, and decides to take the hint...

[Boromir88]

'Why don't I get a book written about me! I have made more Rings than this Sauron guy could ever dream of.'

[Hookbill the Goomba]

After numerous failed attempts, one ring maker had to consult the instruction booklet.

[The Might]

You've all got it wrong.
That's the guy selling at some LotR gift shop in Dubai or something...
Buy a Naria, get a Nenya for free!

[Meela]

After a year of eating Mordor Munchies and finding endless doubles, one happy collector finally gets the last token he needs to claim his limited edition light-up One Ring.

[High King Fingolfin]

If Sauron could gain huge power with only one ring...

[narfforc]

..............I must have Weapons of Mass Destruction...


Trumpets sound and large explosions as The Army of The West Invade


Ah, I found some at last cries The President.

[Mithalwen]

Cut-Me-Own-Hand-Off D'blah ring seller of Djeylibeybi finds he really identifies with Frodo of the nine fingers....

[Boromir88]

http://minas.mythicdesigns.net/screen/se/faramir/family.jpg

Faramir: For you ladies watching...you can find my number in the White City directory. ;)

Or...

Even in a time of mirth and cheer such as this...Denethor is unable to pull off a convincing happy face.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Denethor was a master of catching the invisible spear.

OR

Faramir has noticed the cake trolley.

[Volo]

Gondor is celebrating the capture of the Orc behind it all.

[The Might]

:D Volo, good one, it got me laughing out loud :D

Boromir: Look people *points towards PJ*, I managed to get one of the bears with laser beams after all!
Gondorians: Yaaaay! Victory!

[Meela]

In their time of need Gondor is forced to make an alliance with Ghan-buri-Ghan, and Denethor agrees to marry his, uh, beautiful daughter.

[narfforc]

The army of Minas Tirith capture another Hobbit where there aren't supposed to be any, and decide to use him as a decoy.


or



Peter Jackson tells the actors and crew that they will have a job for the next five years, as he has decided to make Lord of the Rings 2 or The Return of the Ring.



...

[The Sixth Wizard]

NOW who's the Hobbit, Peter?

OR

The man behind Boromir looks strangely elongated...

OR

Denethor: Stop biting my hair!

...
...
...Yeah, I'm not really my witty self am I? :rolleyes:

[Lalwendë]

The cast celebrate Jackson's inspired choice of Ken Dodd to play Denethor.

[FeRaL sHaDoW]

P.J : drinks on me

[THE Ka]

Denethor: Hee heh... Ugh, I despise you all. Right now I could be watching yet another re-run of Lost so I can find out if I've missed any other mind twisting detail over the past month, but no, I'm stuck with you and your hobbit...

Peter: Lost? That reminds me of a special project I snuck into the special edition DVD plans and you're contracts... Good news lads, you'll all be working for another year!

Collective group: Awwwwh!

Faramir: ... I want to be Jack!!


~ Observation and 'what if' Ka

[Volo]

Just when the Gondorians thought they won, the Blue Robot approaches from behind.

OR

You start to wonder how the vampires aren't all hanged, after all they can't do anything to their rebellious nature and keep their hair short. That alone should make the Gondorians think twice before letting them to stand behind your king...

[High King Fingolfin]

Gondor's victory over the forces of Ralph Bakshi.

[Oddwen]

Denethor: We have triumphed over Sauron!

The Men: Yaaaay!

Denethor: I'm really a girl!

The Men: Yaa-whaaa?

Boromir: Yaaaaay!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

The Gondorians celebrate receiving a letter from Sauron reading 'I surrender!' ...

... But they fail to realise that it was an April Fool. :rolleyes:

[Gil-Galad]

Faramir: let me show to my crib yo!


to tired to think of anything else...

[Nimrodel_9]

Gondor's victory over the forces of Ralph Bakshi.Oooo that's mean. LOL :D

Denethor: (to self) Get me outta here....

[The Only Real Estel]

At the Osgiliath Sports Bar & Grill

As Florida/Ohio St. fans celebrate in the background, we catch the thoughts of the four stars in front...


Denethor: (the resident freeloader) I don't even like sports. I'm just glad I got some drinks out of it; and that they hurried up and made that two-point conversion so it didn't go to extra innings! :eek:

PJ: Oh boy...I shouldn't had that last taco...or the five before it...

Boromir: (that annoying fairweather fan who changed his prediction three times...in mid-game) Yeah! My teams always pull it out!!

Faramir: (ie: ME) Damn it...I had money on UCLA.

[shieldmaiden4xsword]

And they lived happily ever after.

[narfforc]

At the local Weight Watchers meeting PJ has lost another pound




ensemble: YEEEEHHHHH well done Chubby.

[The Sixth Wizard]

Boromir: (still smiling with clenched teeth) Cheese! Psst, Faramir, aren't I dead?

Faramir: Shut up, you might hurt PJ's feelings... the plot twist was his idea... nobody told him they're cutting it from the movie yet...

OR

Faramir: Follow the Yellow brick road! Follow the Yellow brick road!

Denethor: Oompa, loompa, doompatie doo!

...

PJ: Enough with the short jokes already!

OR

The news comes in that Sauron has regained the One Ring. The men are still in denial though.

Faramir: Hahahaha! ...oh gods... Heeheehee! ...oh jeez we're dead... Wee! Hey! Yay! ...we are so dead, guys...

[Lalwendë]

They might be smiling now but those smiles will fade quickly when they realise that Boromir is in fact a Cyberman with a Sean Bean mask on. "You will be deleted!"


:eek:

[The Elf-warrior]

The cast and crew celebrate their victory over the forces of Tolkien fundamentalism.

[Oddwen]

...Uncle Rico?

[Boromir88]

Denethor: Finally a new picture...I can get out of here!

http://www.theargonath.cc/pictures/rotktrailer/rotktrailer5.jpg

Eomer decides to take CPR lessons, but everyone thinks he goes a bit over board when he loses his first dummy.

Or...

Eomer loses it when his body suddenly starts morphing into spaghetti

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Eowyn is sick on Eomer.

[Oddwen]

Eomer is sick on Eowyn...

[High King Fingolfin]

Eomer is extremely sad when he throws his Nintendo Wiimote through his plasma screen TV.

[Meela]

Eomer mourns the passing of his favourite pet cockroach under the feet of the Witch-king. Oh, and his sister seems a little peaky.

[The Might]

Eomer is very sad when he notices he never got the chance to tell Eowyn he is actually her father.

[Legate of Amon Lanc]

Eomer: My sister! My sister is dead!
Rohirric soldier from behind: You might check if she's still alive.
Eomer: Nooo! She's still alive!

[Morsul the Dark]

:Merisu: eomer missed the ice cream truck

[Brinniel]

Eomer only just realized Merry and Pippin had snuck laxatives into his breakfast.

Eomer: Aargh...

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Nobody expected Eomer to be this upset over a ruined wig.

or

Eomer gets the news that Grima has kidnapped his teddy-bear!

or

By the look and feel of Eowyn's hair Eomer can tell that she has just used the last shampoo. . .

[The Might]

Eomer just saw what Bethberry did to poor Serious in her avatar

OR

Eomer just looked through the Mirth threads :eek:

[Lalwendë]

Eomer: "Noooo! They finally play Harvester Of Sorrow and I've forgotten to bring my air guitar!"



OR


Eomer's unexpected reaction when Sir Alan Sugar tells him: "You're fired!"

[Bêthberry]

Eomer just saw what Bethberry did to poor Serious in her avatar



Eomer just saw that Bethberry appropriated his photoshop of Serious Cat.

:p

[narfforc]

Eomer is distraught to realise that with dwindling funds he not only has to pay for a Coronation but TWO State Funerals as well.

[Legate of Amon Lanc]

Eomer just saw the Children of Húrin (http://forum.barrowdowns.com/showthread.php?t=13843) trailer and all the stuff and realized his time, as well as all the time of all LotR "cool guys", is over.

[Lalwendë]

Eomer breaks down following a stressful trip to the supermarket when everyone is shopping like the world's about to end in preparation for the one day the shops are shut at Easter. And to top it all off, they've sold out of Doctor Who Easter Eggs.

[The Elf-warrior]

Eomer mourns for Adonais.

[Brinniel]

Eomer takes getting replaced by a new picture rather harshly.

Eomer: Oh, you cruel cruel world! Why?!

http://www.warofthering.net/gallery/galleries/albums/thebreakingofthefellowship/PDVD_086.jpg

Boromir auditions for the next Herbal Essences commercial.

Boromir: And everyone thought Legolas was the only one who could do this. I'll prove them wrong!

Herbal Essence casting people: When's the last time you actually washed your hair?

Boromir: Uhh...

OR

Boromir discovers styling gel for the first time. :rolleyes:

[Hookbill the Goomba]

The earliest example of electroshock treatment? :smokin:

[The Sixth Wizard]

Boromir suddenly realises that the girls thought Legolas more attractive than him, and sticks a few arrows into himself in a fit of agony.

OR

Boromir ALSO finds the Children of Hurin (http://tolkien.hcp-uk.co.uk/thechildrenofhurin.aspx) trailer and knows that possibly even Boromir fanatics like MatthewM could think him 'not as cool as Turin'.

OR

Boromir just turns around and happens to look like that in a freeze-frame. Duh! :smokin:

[The Might]

After noticing how successful characters from Japanese cartoons with strange hair styles are, Boromir decides it's time to get his own Yu-Gi-Oh! haircut.

[Lalwendë]

Boromir didn't really 'get' Punk. Even his mohawk was on the wrong way round.

[narfforc]

Boromir having forgotten his towel tries the shaggy dog method.

[Elmo]

Sauron farted.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Boromir's hair is trying to escape from his head.

[Oddwen]

Invisible glass wall?

Or...

We are ignoring a major philosophical literary question here. The question in question is "Does Boromir have wings?", and the answer is a resounding "Yes!".

[Lalwendë]

Sean has a shock during the woodland scene: "Eeee, milady!........ Ey up! Where's she gone nar?"

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Boromir: Did someone say there's a sale on at Tesco? :eek:

[The Might]

Boromir just realised he forgot his army of laser shooting bears and ninja wizards behind and has to hurry back and get them.

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Boromir suffered a most gruesome death, being pulled apart by static electricity.

[Lalwendë]

Boromir. A Man who fought for his kingdom. A Son who sought to please his father. A Brother who travelled into the wilderness. A Comrade who died for his desires. A Hairy Blighter in need of a good ear hair trimmer.

[Morsul the Dark]

boromir's coolio impression

[The Sixth Wizard]

Super Saiyan Boromir!

Boromir: (powering up) ......hhhhaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!! !!!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Bormir is distracted by the Blingéd Balrog (http://forum.barrowdowns.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=443)! :eek:

[Gil-Galad]

Boromir: never gonna catch me! *arrow punctures body* oh... that aint good...

[The Elf-warrior]

Boromir was less than pleased with Pippin's experiments with static electricity.

[Lalwendë]

Even Boromir's head was in a spin about the imminent release of The Children of Hurin.

[The Might]

After seeing the original Superman movie, Boromir tries to spin around really fast, hoping he will thus be able to reverse the flow of time and stop Sauron before creating the Ring

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Boromir is shocked by the new picture

http://i16.tinypic.com/2dlks20.jpg

Uruk 1: Urrg. Steve's been on the gin again.

OR

The Uruks come across some of Saruman's specially made speed bumps.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Rugby was more violent in those days.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Sometimes, whole battalions had to be dispatched to put up the TV Ariel, not all always returned. :eek:

[The Might]

Every Halloween many children dressed as Orcs fall victim to attacks from Tolkien fans believing it's all real.

[Volo]

Uruks never use dummies when testing the durability of an armour.

Or

The noble Uruk is paiting a painting of a live- no wait, she had to be made to stay still -dead model.

[Elmo]

Glasgow Rangers' new defence - less vicious and better looking

[The Elf-warrior]

Uruk: "It looks edible to me."

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

The extras needed not be sad that the shooting for LotR was over, they would soon be needed as worriors in the Persian army and they needed not change their costumes. (300)

or

The Uruks was actually very gentle foke who did not wish to wake the elves from their sweet dreams.

or

The Uruks where shocked after their first encounter with death:

Uruk1: why won't he get up?

Uruk2: Maybe he is sleeping

Uruk1: I only poked him with my sword. . .

[Brinniel]

Uruk 1: Anyone else wanna tell me I've got bad breath?

OR

Uruk 1: Okay, who drew the moustache on the dead guy?

All Uruks look at Uruk 2.

Uruk 1: Alright, Jimbo....how many times do I have to remind you not to play with your food?

[narfforc]

Uruk: Move aside I'm hungry and I'm the only one with a can opener, so I get the best giblets.

[Lalwendë]

The zombies just kept on coming even though Shaun had embedded most of Ed's collection of Dire Straits LPs in their skulls.

[The Might]

Orc leader looks towards nearby Rohirrim:"Omg, they killed Lurtz!"
Another orc: "You ba****ds!"

OR

Orc: What happened?
Other Orc: He fainted after seeing Legolas.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Our camera shows you the South Stand here at Pittodrie, where today the Rangers fans are visiting.

or

The Orcs found the One Ring, but then Steve dropped it down a drain.


*(Hookbill, Steve the calamitous orc could be a Downer favourite)*

[Oddwen]

Uruk: That's the last time Steve uncloaks!

[Lalwendë]

Brian the Uruk: "That's the last time Steve says me 'elmet looks like it's got an ice cream wafer stuck on top of it!"

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Never fool about when on a balcony—just look what happened to Steve.

[Lalwendë]

"I fell into a Burning Ring of Fire. I went down, down, down, and the flames went higher. And it burns, burnsssssss...aaaaarrrghhh!"

Steve took his Johnny Cash routine too far.

[Oddwen]

Ramone the Uruk: Steve! Noo! He's dead! Oh Steve, Steve...hey! Those are MY pants!

[The Sixth Wizard]

After performing an amazing song and dance routine about the way Saruman's belly button hair was the greatest in history, the Uruk leaps into a pit.

Uruk 1: That was great! Encore!

Uruk 2: (looking down) Euh, guys? I don't think he'll be doing no encores . . .

[The Only Real Estel]

The Uruks discover the meaning of the phrase "Those who live by the sword...get shot by those who don't."

[Hookbill the Goomba]

The reason the assault on Helms deep was delayed until nightfall?
It was unfortunate that the best Uruks were also the laziest.

Uruk1: Come on, Jim, we have to break down the door!

Jim the Uruk: No... Five more minutes... *snore*

[Thinlómien]

Steve: "I'm not dead."
"I'm getting better."
"I don't want to go on the cart."
"I feel fine."
"I feel happy!"

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Drugs were rampant in Isengard...

Uruk: Man... Have you ever felt how weird this rock is? ... Woooww. So... Stony.

Uruk2: Hmm... Not the only one.

[The Elf-warrior]

Uruk: "Art! Why did it have to be art?"

http://i33.photobucket.com/albums/d78/ShelobsBane/Eagles_to_the_Rescue.jpg

Gandalf: "It's about time you rescued me!"

[Kitanna]

Gandalf: Stop trying to steal my wallet!

[Rikae]

Eagle: ...give us a kiss...
Gandalf: C'mon...it's 5:30! I'm sleeping!

[Oddwen]

Gandalf: You feather-brained miscreant! I had it all under control!

Gwahir: Weren't you casting some sort of ice spell?

Gandalf: Er...

[The Sixth Wizard]

Me: Alright, just so everyone knows, NO uncloaking jokes, or else I'll negative-rep you into oblivion!

Just wanted to make that clear. . . :smokin:

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Gandalf soon realised he couldn't hide anywhere from the Eagle Loan Sharks.

OR

Famous last words...

Gandalf: I say, Gwihir, have you put on weight?

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

There was a risk of burned feathers, but the eagles loved a roasted dinner/supper/tea

[The Might]

ME is modern...
What took you so long? Didn't you get my SMS?
Sorry, I was chatting...

[Bêthberry]

That moment in evolutionary history when pterodactyls became birds.

OR

A philogological conundrum explained: the confusion over the Greek πτερόσαυρος, pterosauros, meaning "winged lizard". Some errant scribes had inadvertently written "wizard" instead of "lizard."

[Boromir88]

After receiving the incriminating photos from her undercover aid (http://forum.barrowdowns.com/showpost.php?p=505620&postcount=12165), DCI Lalwende sends in her S.E.A.T. (Special Eagles and Tactics unit) to bring Gandalf the Grey's reign of uncloaking to an end. (http://forum.barrowdowns.com/showpost.php?p=516506&postcount=347)

(I swear this is the last one...I even said it's coming to an end :rolleyes: :p )

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Gandalf was getting forgetful in his old age.

Gando: Thanks for saving me, Mr Eagle. Now we need to save the... erm... Who are the...? Erm... Oh, It'll come back to me, lets get back...

Bilbo: :eek:

[The Only Real Estel]

Eagles: "Should we get the rest of the dwarves now?"

Gandalf: "No! They're the ones that caused all this by lighting up in a non-smoking forest!"

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

No smoking: punishment will be severe.

[Lalwendë]

The Birds

"Now we have caught the sneaky thief who keeps raiding the bird table! Let's throw him on the barbecue for his sins!"


OR


The new series of Springwatch comes to an abrupt end when the birds finally take revenge on Bill Oddie for spying on their most intimate moments...

[Thinlómien]

Gandalf: Don't you know who I am, bird?

[Legate of Amon Lanc]

Gandalf: I have a bad feeling about this drop. There are Vietcong troops hiding in the trees!

[Lalwendë]

Gandalf: I have a bad feeling about this drop. There are Vietcong troops hiding in the trees!

"And they've....they've already unleashed the napalm! Aaaargh!"



OR



Gwaihir: "That's the very last time you will insult us with that old 'Rats with wings' line, old fool!"

[Hookbill the Goomba]

It is a little known fact that they did actually try to use the Eagles to destroy the Ring... but it went a bit wrong...

Gandalf: You stupid bird! You're going the complete wrong way! This isn't Mordor!

Eagle: Mordor? Wait... Is that the place with the water?

Gandalf: No! It's with the fiery mountain and black lands!

Eagle: Pfft! You're a funny guy, Gandalf. I don't want to go there. Lets go this way...

Gandalf: No!!!

[narfforc]

The Eagles attempts at putting out the forest fire by dropping large bags of fluid on it nearly proved fatal



or.




Gwaihir: I've told you before Landroval, the meat will burn if you put it too close to the B-B-Q.












.

[The Sixth Wizard]

I keep telling you, I'm not Gandalf, stupid bird! Petrificus totalus darn it!

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

"The Dwarves? Uh...they already escaped. Yeah, let's get out of here."

or

The Wargs latest plan to capture Gandalf was genius – disguise themselves as eagles.

[The Elf-warrior]

Gandalf: "How dare you say I overact?"

[Volo]

Gwaihir: Trying to impress the ZZ Top guys with this show? How many times do I have to tell you that it does not work.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Eagle: Eh, you'll never guess who I had in the back of my eerie the other day...

Gandalf: *Groan*

OR

Gwihir prepares his 'I swear, the Wizard was THIS BIG' comment for when he gets back...

[Lalwendë]

Gandalf: "Have you birds been on the Vole Curry again? That burp nearly blew my hat off!"

[THE Ka]

Gandalf: *Sigh*, so much for frequent flyer miles...

Gwaihir: Pfft, hey, don't pull that one on me Gando-Mileage Run, I don't see you pulling a move to your wallet anytime soon...

~ No wings attached Ka

[Lucy the human]

Gandalf: Ow! That's my hair you've got! No, no, don't drop me! I can deal with the pain!

[THE Ka]

Gandalf: Over yonder to a new sunset and oh yeah, caption...

http://www.worth1000.com/entries/187000/187027MRTq_w.jpg

Gollum: Yeeah, I'm going to have to ask you two to cut down on the chit-chat, and by the way, next friday is hobbit-hunting day, so... if you want to, go ahead and bring your gear when we flush them out of the basements.

Orc: Pfft, thanks a lot Gary Cole...

~ Ka

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Gollum makes sure that his friend 'screecher the Orc' distracts his fellow employee while he steals a fish head.

OR

As business hours at Fish Corp drew to a close, Gollum is surprised to see that the Orc is still yawning since the morning.

[Bêthberry]

Halp cried the fish, as some orc had tinkered with the piccie so it wouldn't open.

[The Might]

Somehow I can't see the caption...:confused:

[Hookbill the Goomba]

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i291/JoelCornah/187027MRTq_w.jpg

The orc cannot believe that Gollum quite deliberately walked up to the pile of fish and ripped a head off. What really got him was the fact that no one seemed to notice.

OR

Gollum suggests that the office should get bigger filing cabinets in which to store fish.

[Bêthberry]

Office politics produce a different kettle of fish.

OR

Girl in chair to herself: I'm not looking forward to this year's Christmas party.

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

What neither the orc or Gollum knew was that the girl they where both hitting on was in fact Sauron in disguise.

[The Might]

You realise you're addicted to LotR when...you start thinking about your evil co-worker and your boss as Gollum and and an orc

[Boromir88]

Orc: Oh hi, Patricia, did you get the memo? And also, I'm going to need you to come in and work Saturday. That would be Greeeaaaatttt.

Gollum: Fish. My juicy fish. Have you seen my wriggly fish?

[Hookbill the Goomba]

This lady knows exactly what it's like to be stuck between a hammer and an anvil.

Orc: Did you catch the latest episode of 'Popular reality TV show'? Yes? No? You missed a good one man!

Gollum: Yea, they were kicking people off left, right and centre. Some people got kicked on!

Orc: They're going to be talking about this one for a while!

Lady: *groan*

[Oddwen]

Orc: Did you catch the latest episode of 'Popular reality TV show'? Yes? No? You missed a good one man!

Gollum: Yea, they were kicking people off left, right and centre. Some people got kicked on!

Orc: They're going to be talking about this one for a while!
Lady: Yeah...uh-huh...yup...wooooahh...yeah...uh-huh...yup...wooooah...

Or...

Gollum to female orc: Hey baby, how about you and me going to the all-night sushi bar tonight?

A moment later, Gollum was fried to a crisp by the female orc's fire-breathing boyfriend. What a tragedy.

[The Might]

Orc: That report was due tuesday!!!
Gollum: We told you!
Woman: ...why did I ever decide to work here?!?!

OR

This is how you see people around you after spending too much time on the Downs. :D

[Volo]

She just couldn't wait until May Day...

[Lalwendë]

Tracy was glad she was only temping at DEFRA if this was how you would end up after dealing with headless mutant fish for fifteen years.


OR


After ten minutes of hearing about blue sky thinking, ballpark figures and thinking outside the box, Diane began to hallucinate.


OR


Just an everyday scene at the offices of Sellafield.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Gollum: Psst! Eh, Orcie! Don't you think this new employee looks like a bit of a freak?

Orc: Yea. Weird face and everything. What kind of stuff are the bosses going to let in next? Chickens with no legs?

Gollum: He works in accounting doesnt he?

[The Elf-warrior]

Orc: "I will not be outsourced by a Balok puppet, you squeaky maggot!"

[mormegil]

Phil from Marketing (gollum): Hey there cutie, I was hoping that we could go out on a date.

Johnson from Accounting: ACK! I was asking her Phil!

or

The date is December 18th 2001

Man dressed as Gollum: Hey guess what Suzie!

Suzie (annoyed and exasperated): What!?!

Gollum: I'm going to the midnight showing of the Lord of the Rings, that's why I'm dressed up.

Man dressed as an Orc!: YAY! Me too! Let's go to the line together. Can you believe the trailors on this one. I can't wait to see it.

Suzie (mumbling): Geeks! :D

[The Sixth Wizard]

No evil in Arda or Menel can rival those selfish spawn you must call co-workers...

[Lalwendë]

Gollum Johnson, Team Leader: "Susan, could you prepare these nice fishes for the working lunch with our new partners later? I think that should be enough food to go round, don't you?"

Orc Smith, Head of Accounts: "Erm, excuse me, don't you think I should have been consulted? We have no luxury biscuits on order! And I can't eat fish, I only eat Man Flesh!"

Susan: "Do they do Man Flesh in Sainsbury's?"



OR



Bridget Jones Diary
Monday 30th April
Cigarettes 10, Weight 120 Lbs.

Realised today how rough Cleaver looks in a morning. Not quite so keen now, actually. But then Darcy isn't such a looker when he has a hangover either. Only thing to do was to resort to family sized tub of Haagen Dazs.