Crazy Captions

[Hookbill the Goomba]

The invisible-staff owners annual meeting got off to a start...

OR

Gandalf makes gun gestures at Saruman, as if to say he'd really like to shoot him through the lungs.

[Valesse]

Stopped by another troop of wayward adventurers, the Fellowship pauses to ask a question which had been laying heavily on their minds after hearing about Saruman's change from 'white' to 'many colors':

"Why are there so many songs about rainbows?"

[HerenIstarion]

Gandalf: you have it all wrong!
Can't you see we need a hand
In the navy
Come on, protect the motherland
In the navy
Come on and join your fellow man... (quick muttering: er, ork, troll, whatever suits you better gents...)
In the navy
Come on people, and make a stand
In the navy, in the navy, in the navy, in the navy!

They want you, they want you
They want you as a new recruit!

Merry and Pippin:
In the navy, in the navy, in the navy in the navy!

Pippin to Merry (under his breath): what the heck is the navy, anyways?
Merry to Pippin (under his breath): Who cares? Enough for me those guys just gape at us and desist from attacking. Keep it up, Pippers!

[Volo]

The heroes are posing so that giant sculptures of them will be made and put at each cross-road in Gondor.

[shieldmaiden4xsword]

Too much ent-brew.

[Oddwen]

Legolas: Where is my hairbrush?? WHO stole it?!

The Fellowship in Unison: *points at Gimli*

[Hookbill the Goomba]

The notorious leaflet thief strikes again as the Fellowship attempt to promote their new album.

OR

Fellowship: Big Issue, mate?

[Nimrodel_9]

It's a bird! It's a plane! It's Superman!!
Hobbit: Who the heck is Superman?!

[Estelyn Telcontar]

It's a new pic...

http://www.katurday.com/wp-content/uploads/gondorfy7.jpg

[Hookbill the Goomba]

It was the one thing Mordor never expected to find when they broke down the doors...

OR

The fate that awaits all running jokes... Mr Cat says 'Hmmm. Mount Zoom sandwich'

[Bêthberry]

Serious Cat prepares for a walkabout.

[The Might]

The Fellowship disappointed as LotR sales are bad 4 years after the movies creat a boy group called Bagshot Row Boys

[Folwren]

I can't see the picture. :(

[Bêthberry]

Does this work for you?

http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y64/MimsyBorogroves/catgondor.jpg

[The Might]

As the WK managed to break the gate, he had a big surprise...

[Morsul the Dark]

The Wargs were a little bigger than gandalf thought

[Oddwen]

When the true king's away, the cats will play...

Or...

WK: I will break the wizard.

Gandalf: Away foul dwimmerlaik........holy crap.

Or...

Tall ships and tall kings
Three times three
What brought they from the foundered land
Over the flowing sea?
Seven stars, and seven stones,
and one white fe-
line.

Or...

Smaugcat: "Well, thief! I smell you and I feel your air. I hear your breath. Come along! Help yourself again, there is plenty and to spare!"

Bilbo Mousekins: "No thank you, O Smaugcat the Tremendous! I did not come for presents. I only wished to have a look at you and see if you were truly as great as tales say. I did not believe them."

Smaugcat: "Do you now?"

Bilbo Mousekins: "Truly songs and tales fall utterly short of the reality, O Smaugcat the Chiefest and Greatest of Calamities!"

Smaugcat: "You have nice manners for a thief and a liar. You seem familiar with my name, but I don't seem to remember smelling you before. Who are you and where do you come from, may I ask?"

[The Elf-warrior]

Denecat goes eyeballs to eyeball with the Dark Lord. OR

Denecat: "Im in ur city, depriving teh house of Elendil of teh throne." OR

Nobody tosses a cat!

[narfforc]

Who's thrown gondor where?


TEH HAS DONE IT!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Sauron finally found out why the Gondorians were so secretive about what went on in Minas Tirith... It wasn't what he was expecting.

OR

The new gate was made to look like a cat on the logic that 'Not Even Sauron could hurl a battering ram against this face!'
Unfortunately, Sauron had had a bad childhood which involved cats and he felt that the Gondorians were making a cruel joke...

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

This is actually just lego with a very rare disease.

[The Elf-warrior]

Who knows what evil lurks in the heart of cats? The Shadow knows. Ha, ha ha!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

The first idea for Minas Taxi (http://forum.barrowdowns.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=281&d=1145024202) wasn't so well thought out.

[Melilot Brandybuck]

When the Rhovanion delegation was forced to use the servant's entrance, King Tarannon made a mental note to have a word with Beruthiel about over-feeding the cat.

[Oddwen]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v58/Oddwen/captions_1_16.jpg

Wait...you want me to clean what up?

Or...

And Legolas bade his fangirls worship him, and lo! they placed ale mugs on his altar and burned a dwarvish sacrifice. And Legolas was pleased.

Or...

L: I feel a slight tingling in my fingers. I think it's affecting me....arrrgh! *dies of alcohol poisoning*

Or...

(after two drinks)

Leggy: I swear to drunk I'm not Eru! *hic*
Gandy: Hmm...you've a bit more in common with Galion than Thranduil, don't you?
Leggy(tapping his nose): Let's not schpread that around too far, shall we, private family matter'n all... *hic*

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Legolas is surprised when his imaginary friend beats him at the drinking game...

OR

Legolas is sure the mugs are talking to him...

[mormegil]

Legolas: Gimli, I don't care how dirty you are, I am NOT going to give you a sponge bath.

[THE Ka]

Legolas was beginning to worry that his 'if all else fails add shampoo to ale' measure to cure Gimli of his stank was going in a different direction...

Also, forgive me for trespassing the rules, but I think this thread needs some reviving as I would hate to see it fall into oblivion...

http://fc01.deviantart.com/fs6/i/2005/116/3/4/starbucks_by_Helcaweth.jpg

Denethor: Pippin, if you break into song one more time I'll have no choice but to throw this overpriced and tasteless gruel in your face...


~ Ka and Koffee

[Alonna]

Sauron's new plot to rule Middle Earth involved driving all the people of Middle Earth into debt by selling them ridiculously expensive coffee.

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

That photo is scary. . .not funny!

[Farael]

Denethor: "Of course I am mad! There are no Tim Horton's left in Middle Earth, and if there are some in the lands of the West, only the elves know."

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Denethor: How dare you insult me like this! I asked for a Costa Coffee! :mad:

OR

Denethor: What do you take me for? I would never surcome to the temptations of product placement...

[THE Ka]

That photo is scary. . .not funny!

:D

Why thank you, you've noticed the extra masterplan if it was hailed with a shower of 'dare not post early!'. There was also the musing of using him as a handy warning of some kind, or mascot for the 'send to Mordor' thread, but eh. What evil happens, happens. I in no way support this though, mind you...

Ahem, anyways so I am not attacked by the galliant skwerl of chatter:

Denethor: Faramir, to crush any further hope, let's just say i'd rather send this beverage into Rivendell than you.


~ Ka...

[mormegil]

Denethor: So Gandalf, you didn't think that I would discover Sauron's cup of power, did you? With this cup, I shall have the power Gondor needs to overthrow Sauron and Mordor once and for all.

[Brinniel]

The peoples of Middle-earth knew their world was going to the dogs when Gondor started up its own Starbucks chain.

OR

STARBUCKS: The Coffee of Stewards.

(This ad has been approved by Denethor son of Ecthelion II)

[satansaloser2005]

....But Sauron had brewed another cup of coffee in secret, deep within the fires of Mount Doom. One cup of coffee to rule them all....

[luthien-elvenprincess]

Pippen, you know I demand my caramel cappuccino decaf skinny with no froth...I can't afford to be bloaty and gassy today, I'm going to a barbeque later.

[The Might]

LotR fan: Hey, that's not in the books either!
PJ: Well, how do you think we managed to get the money for the films?

[shieldmaiden4xsword]

Denethor always had a cup of coffee to jump start his day.

[Thenamir]

Through his dark arts Sauron had decaffeinated Denethor's elixir, driving him to the madness which eventually caused him to set himself on fire and throw himself off the topmost parapet in Minas Tirith.

[mormegil]

LotR fan: Hey, that's not in the books either!
PJ: Well, how do you think we managed to get the money for the films?

Denethor: Yes Pippin, this is called product placement and with this innovation I plan to systematically ruin cinema, take over Middle-earth and give something for marketing professors to discuss for years to come.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Denethor: Give me more coffee! I haven't slept all night! Pippin was singing! :mad:

OR

Gandalf: So, has your new obsession affected your rule at all?

Denethor: No! Why do you say that? Nothing changes me! I'm all the time good steward. Good stew! Yes! I want stew! No, no, no! I want soup! Oooh, have you ever had tomato soup with chicken? No? Me neither! Sounds good? Who are you? GET OUT! COME BACK! LOOK AT ME! GET OUT! LOOK AT ME! GET OUT! LOOK AT ME WHILE YOU GET OUT!

[TheGreatElvenWarrior]

http://news.bbc.co.uk/nol/shared/spl/hi/pop_ups/03/africa_enl_1063967571/img/1.jpg



So this is what happens when Orcs steal toddlers.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Child: Uglug... I Am your father!

Uglug: No-ooooo!!

OR

Uglug: And would sir like Child with that?

OR EVEN

Child: Hey! You promised me a clown for my party!

Uglug: I CAN BE FUNNY! ... ... Erm... What do you get when you cross a Hobbit with an orc?
...
A freak of nature...

Child: ... MUMMY!!

[narfforc]

Ugluk is slightly unhappy that a child has been sick all over his forehead, the child is also unhappy at losing his vanilla milkshake so easily.

[Gwathagor]

Both: MOM!

[TheGreatElvenWarrior]

Both: MOM!Or
BOTH: (with a bit of shock in voice)MOM?

[mormegil]

This cannot be my stunt double

[The Elf-warrior]

Ugluk: "Eating kids is a special treat, it grows long hair and great big teeth."

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Ugluk: This one's broken. Get me a new one.

[Oddwen]

Ugluk: GAHH! I said specifically in my contract NO diapers!

[Thinlómien]

Photographer: "Say Mickey Mouse."
Ugluk & child: "Mickey MOUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!"

or

The nanny Mrs Jones had hired was not like she had expected her to be...

[Lalwendë]

davem takes extreme wardrobe measures to prevent the baby being sick on his best shirts yet again.

[Mithalwen]

Orcs love children - but even they find it hard to eat a whole one....

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

The Uruk-hai was soon to discover that he was not the top of the foodchain.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Ugluk: Order up for table 29!

OR

This child has tied his shoelaces into Ugluk's hair.

[Lalwendë]

Another sleep deprived mother goes out for the day with her hair and teeth unbrushed and her make-up looking 'interesting'.

[TheGreatElvenWarrior]

BOTH:Oh my gosh! It's a new picture!

Picture (http://lolcats.com/view/10790/)

We wants our preciousssssssss and we wants it NOW... we will bite their finger off, yes we will my preciousss my love!*Gollum*
http://forum.barrowdowns.com/%3Ca%20href=%22http://www.lolcats.com%22%3E%3Cimg%20src=%22http://www.lolcats.com/images/u/07/36/lolcatsdotcom8bpgawu7gsoyn59t.jpg%22%20border=%220 %22%20alt=%22lolcats%20funny%20cat%20pictures%22%3 E%3C/a%3E

[Kitanna]

Gollum tries new extra strength Rogaine.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

If only Gollum hadn't drunk all those hair growth hormones...

OR

This cat is sick of people telling him he looks like Gollum.

[Gwathagor]

"Esmeralda?"

[Oddwen]

Diamond: Oh Pippin, I'm so glad you're ho-OH MY VARDA! What have you done with Merry?!? Noooooooaargh....

[TheGreatElvenWarrior]

Diamond: Oh Pippin, I'm so glad you're ho-OH MY VARDA! What have you done with Merry?!? Noooooooaargh....Well, Pippin must've let himself go... because he looks like a cat that says GOLLUM...

[Oddwen]

Well, Pippin must've let himself go... because he looks like a cat that says GOLLUM...

Ms. Diamond18 has two cats, one named Merry & one named Pippin. :cool:



'Not a bird! ' said Sam mournfully.
'No, no birds,' said Gollumcat. 'Nice birds! ' He licked his teeth. 'No birds here. There are snakeses, wormses, things in the pools. Lots of things, lots of nasty things. No birds,' he ended sadly. Sam looked at him with distaste.

[TheGreatElvenWarrior]

Well different Pippin and Diamond then... because the actual character of Pippin marries a hobbit lass named Diamond of Long Cleeve.

Yes, I think I did know that though!

[Mithalwen]

A Sam-filled-fatty-puss

[Lalwendë]

Gollum-Cat's joke fails to impress the party: "I'll get me coat".

[Hookbill the Goomba]

The budget* for The Hobbit was considerably less than that for The Lord of the Rings...


*As, indeed, was the budgie...

[Bêthberry]

Actually, it looks like Gollem-cat swallowed the budgie . . .

[Lalwendë]

Gollum Cat: "Frodo didn't give me my precioussss. Hck. Hck. Mua-ha-ha. These fur ballsss I'm gonna hack up all over his best cloak will sort him out...."

[Maeggaladiel]

"...Or barring that, some catnip, precioussss. GOLLUM! GOLLUM!"

[The Sixth Wizard]

Finally, decisive proof that goody-goody blonde kids ARE the spawn of evil.

Uruk: Who's a good minion? You are! Yes you are!

EDIT: Sorry for quoting the wrong pic, but I can't see this next one and I missed the square with the red cross...

This isn't a Gollum-cat it's just an emo-teenager cat.

Cat1: "Life is pain. Just yesterday I ran into a mouse and there were these, like, posers eating it."

Cat2: "Yeah, man, only conformists eat mice."

[TheGreatElvenWarrior]

Fat cat Gollum!

[FeRaL sHaDoW]

scientists now think they have found the missing link in golems ancestry.

[Lalwendë]

Gollum cat just cannot hide his sense of distaste when he sees the curtain tie-backs straight outta 1989.

OR

Gollum cat's owner won't be laughing about having disturbed Gollum cat during a private grooming moment when she puts her coat on later and discovers what he left behind on the lining...

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Okay, a new picture...

http://tolkiengateway.net/w/images/7/75/John_Howe_-_Saruman.jpg

Saruman waits impatiently for the ferris wheel to start up.

OR

After four days, Saruman realised that the one design floor in Orthanc was the door that could only be opened from the inside...

[Legate of Amon Lanc]

Saruman waits impatiently for the ferris wheel to start up.

It may look like self-advertising, but:

Saruman waits impatiently for the fenris wheel to start up.

[narfforc]

When I asked for some Entertaiment I didn't expect this........

[Oddwen]

Saruman: No, no, no! This is all wrong! I asked for a room overlooking the tennis court, not the nuclear waste facility!

[mormegil]

Saruman rues the day he made the fateful decision to make beans the primary staple of his Urak-Hai army.

or

Saruman leaves in disgust the lastest meeting of the wizards when Gandalf resorts to his old antics.

or

Saruman leaves the forum when mormegil brings up Gandalf's old antics.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Saruman is caught spitting on people as they exit Orthanc from below.

OR

How Saruman lost his hat: It blew away.

[Oddwen]

S: Wait a minute! This isn't a landscape, this is a painting!!

[Eönwë]

You said there would be chocolate/pipeweed out here!

or

I uncloaked just for that!

[Thinlómien]

Saruman bought a brand new rainbow dress for the Isengard Pride 3018.

[Mithalwen]

Saruman is given "time out"

But HE started it!!!!

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Just how different the beauty-ideals of middle-earth is from ours, was clearly seen when Saruman was asked to do a L'Oreal advert.

[The Only Real Estel]

Saruman: "Oops. Well....I guess a penny dropped on someone's head from this height can kill them."

[Valesse]

After lobbing a brick off of the balcony.
Saruman: Scram you little punk! The Capulets don't even live on this block! ...And stay away from my roses! Rotten, good-fer-nothing kids always running through... might do us all some good to higher some guards... *dark muttering*

[Gwathagor]

*whines*

"Wormtongue dropped my shiny ball - down there..."

[THE Ka]

Saruman: What do YOU think you're looking at?

or...

Saruman: Ahem! I specifically said, 'dramatic background', not something Turner threw up!

~ Ka

[THE Ka]

http://i202.photobucket.com/albums/aa168/The_Ka/jerklike.jpg

Aragorn tries an alternative method of reclaiming the throne by 'dazzling' the people of Minas Tirith...

Aragorn: *clicks tongue, snaps fingers and points* Ciao babe!

~ Ka

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Gorn loved to think about all those orcs he butchered.

[Legate of Amon Lanc]

"Use the Colgate toothpaste. Approved by 9 of 10 Rangers."

OR

Aragorn's first meeting with Arwen was not actually that simple as depicted in the books, his attempts to ball Arwen were quite silly. This photo shows him about two seconds before Arwen smacked him to his face.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Aragorn's worrying reaction made Gandalf never uncloak again.

[THE Ka]

Despite better judgement, Aragorn couldn't help showing off his teeth after brushing them in Galadriel's mirror.

[Gwathagor]

Aragorn's worrying reaction made Gandalf never uncloak again.

HAAAAA!!!

[Gwathagor]

ARAGORN: "Available!"

[Valesse]

Aragorn poses for a personal ad in The 'Downer:

84 y/o Ranger from Rivendell looking for his elven princess.
Must enjoy manly stubble, pseudonyms and 'the natural' look.
I enjoy long walks in the Riddermark and collecting jewlery.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Aragorn's worrying reaction convinced his horse to never kiss him again. :p

OR

Aragorn put a pin on Gimli's seat.

[The Elf-warrior]

Aragorn couldn't help snickering after he replaced Legolas's shampoo with hair remover.

[The Sixth Wizard]

Aragorn after talking to this guy (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hJdF8DJ70Dc):

Yeah, dude, I like, totally know what you mean. The orcs were like, dude, man, and then the trolls were like, ROAR, and the place went all like, dark, and whoosh, and a kappoom, and fwoom, and like WOW man it was totally radical...

[mormegil]

Aragorn speaking to Merry: Dude, thanks for that pipe weed.

[Eönwë]

Aragorn about to uncloak

[Oddwen]

Aragorn: Man, I have never felt so wonderful.
Elrond: I would feel just as wonderful if you were wearing pants.

[Eönwë]

Aragorn: Because you're worth it

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

They say some psychopaths smile as they kill.

[Oddwen]

Aragorn: I love gazing at myself in a mirror...I'm so handsome and distinguished looking.
Pippin: Why are you looking at me like that?

Or...

Aragorn: My wedding day! The happiest day of my life!
Pippin: Why are you looking at me like that?

Or...

Aragorn: At long last, the One Ring has been destroyed! Frodo, the world cannot thank you enough!
Pippin: Why are you looking at me like that?

Or...

Aragorn: I love what toothpaste does for my teeth. Thanks for recommending it to me, Pippin!
Pippin: Legolas! I found who's been smoking your shampoo!

[Oddwen]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v58/Oddwen/boromirshock.jpg

B: A LotR fan radio drama is being made? I am so there (http://forum.barrowdowns.com/showthread.php?t=14688)!

Or...

Boromir was always told about the strange things Elves used for seats. He was told that Elves are very, very sensitive about their cultural traditions, and woe unto the mortal who mocked them. Still, he couldn't keep this look off of his face as he sat down, or as Elrond asked him why he had sat on the refreshment tray.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

In the middle of a spell, Gandalf is about to sneeze; Boromir can't wait to see what happens...

OR

Elrond: Well, this council has been going on for some time now. Who's up for some Pizza?

Boromir: Yeah!

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

"Don't worry lads, Boromir brought the cookies along. Right?"

[Gwathagor]

Boromir: "Frodo? Who's Frodo? What Ring?"

OR

Gandalf: "Dahkness took me..."

Boromir: "...you don't have to be so gleeful about it."

("dahk" being a slang term of Elvish vulgarity)

[The Only Real Estel]

And with one mistake, Boromir suddenly realizes sword-swallowing isn't the safest of professions.

[Oddwen]

And with one mistake, Boromir suddenly realizes sword-swallowing isn't the safest of professions.

Neither is being on the bottom of a cheerleading pyramid, apparently.

[The Sixth Wizard]

Elrond: And that's when we march into the heart of Enemy controlled land with the only thing that could really tick him off!

Boromir: I hope that's the apple pie I just sat in...

[Mithalwen]

Boromir remembers where he left his horse.

[mormegil]

Arwen: Boromir, did you sit on my apple pie?

Boromir: I sure hope so.

[Holbytlass]

Boromir is blinded by Aragorn's(last pic) teeth.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

The real reason Minas Trith burned: Bormir left the iron on...

[Eönwë]

Boromir: Why did I tell Legolas that sword-swallowing was a good idea?

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Boromir attempts to break the awkward silence caused by Gandalf pointing out Elrond's fly was open.

B: Scrabble anyone?

[The Elf-warrior]

Boromir couldn't shake the suspicion that Legolas was trying to beg, borrow, or steal Elrond's Ring of Power on behalf of his father.

[Eönwë]

Boromir is upset that people are making assumptions of him just because of one picture.

[Eönwë]

Boromir is blinded by Aragorn's(last pic) teeth.
Aragorn's worrying reaction made Gandalf never uncloak again.

or maybe:

Boromir after he saw Aragorn's reaction (last pic) to him uncloaking.

[Valesse]

Then somewhere far in the distance the campy stylings of the 1980s could be heard. Boromir, son of Denethor, knew that it was indeed his time in the sun.

OR

Boromir: But... but he has his nose!
Elrond: *sigh* It's only his thumb, Boromir.

[Holbytlass]

Boromir looking at Oddwen's avatar: I think I'm in love

[Morthoron]

Ummm...Arwen...I am indeed happy to see you...but that really is the Horn of Gondor in my pocket.

[Eönwë]

Boromir looking at aragorn in the last pic, who's saying: I have the real horn of Gondor.

[THE Ka]

http://i202.photobucket.com/albums/aa168/The_Ka/economiccrutchanyone.jpg

Gandalf: Again?! You have to be joking, last week it was only a dime!

Guard 1: Hey, hey, until you cut down on your sporatic and spontaneous 'dramatic entrance' scenes you're going to have to foot the bill...

Guard 2: Oh, don't forget the additional 'uncloaking within upper city limits' tax too...

Gandalf: *mumble* I'll show you uncloaked... *mumble*

[Gwathagor]

Guard: Heeey Gandalf, give me five, brother!

Other Guard (under his breath): Suck up...

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Gandalf: Okay, here are the keys. Make sure you LOCK the door. I don't want to come back and find some one's stolen Minas Tirith AGAIN! :mad:

OR

Gandalf: I've been using moisturizer... can you tell?

Guard: ... And just when I thought wouldn't need therapy anymore... :(

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

It's scary, sitting on a horse, but as long as you have someone to hold your hand nothing bad should happen.

[Legate of Amon Lanc]

Guard: "Of course, Mr. Gandalf, Lord Sauron the Great awaits you..."

OR

Gandalf: "Here's for the parking ticket, and please take my starship (in the background) to the dock..."

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Gandalf arrives at Minas Tirith in order to convince Boromir who had named him self "The Great Dragon Slayer" to join the quest for Erebor, unfortunately Boromir later claimed that the title had always been "The Great Dragoon Slayer"

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Gandalf: No, no, no! You're holding your spear all wrong! Try and make it straighter like Harry over there.

Guard2: Erm, my name's Bob.

Gandalf: Shut up, Harry!

[Legate of Amon Lanc]

Guard: "Please, sir, wash your hands here before entering the city."

[Oddwen]

"Not a word, now," said Gandalf slipping the man some green.
"Not a word," winked Ingold.

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Gandalf: I am telling you it is not a real arm. . . try to feel it.

[Eönwë]

Gandalf: This is how real men make an entrance... Wait... I'm not a man. Here, take my ring.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Shadowfax: Yeah, just put it in the cupboard until I get back would you?

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

The guard stares in disbelief, as Gandalf after loosing faith in the fellowship desides to hand him the one ring in a rather uncerimonial fashion.

or

The guards cannot belive their luck as Gandalf decides to hand them over the keys to Shadowfax

Gandalf: Park it for me boys

or

The guard had no idea that the sweets Gandalf just gave him would soon tast of garlic and decaying matter.

[Nogrod]

Guard 1: "Charity for an ex-leper sir?"

Gandalf: "Even if I'm in a hurry to save the world... here, take care of yourself lad."

Guard 2: "OMG, I can't believe He is buying it!"

[Valesse]

Gandalf: Alright, now we bring our hands back, snap, then grab one another's thumbs... yeah, just like that.
Guard: Swell! So I'm part of the Fellowship now?
Gandalf: Sure, but you have to pay for your tee-shirt.

[Oddwen]

A ling'ring touch, a longing glance,
A flower'd memory of that dance...

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Gandlaf prepares to pull the leaver that will open the trap door beneath Denethor...

Denethor: There is no victory! We will all burn! Just you watch! I will not stay Heeeeeeeeerrrrrrrreeeeee! Gandalf I hate yoooouuu!!!

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

After a bizarre case of mistaken identities, Gandalf has to return teeth to disapointed Gondorians.

[Holbytlass]

guard thinks: Grreatt!! He brings in that thing again, now I'm on dooty-duty!

[Gwathagor]

http://www.very-faery.com/costume/images/Arwen/Farewell/Arwen_Legolas_Touch.jpg

[Gwathagor]

Arwen and Legolas, simultaneously: What lotion do YOU use?

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Elves really should know better than to play with super-glue

[Hookbill the Goomba]

The Elves haddn' t quite got the hang of this 'high-five' thing.

[Kitanna]

Arwen checks Legolas for wrinkles.

[Oddwen]

Figur: Hmmmm-mmmm, is this something Aragorn won't like? I can...make sure...he won't find out...for a price...

[Formendacil]

Arwen: "Just a second, Legolas, my telepathaphone keeps losing reception."

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Arwen and Legolas, simultaneously: *SLAP*

OR

Arwen and Legolas, simultaneously: Your ears are weird! :(

[Gwathagor]

Guy-In-Background thinks: "Oooh what's that on my shoes? Huh, nothing, just light. Look, the light's on the floor, too! Fascinating. La de da. I am absorbed in the quality of light upon the floor. Hmm hm hm. These trees are clearly artificial." *whistles a few casual notes* "I sure hope Aragorn doesn't walk by right now... *looks up* "Oh come on, you guys! STILL! This is getting really awkward for me!"

[THE Ka]

Little Known Elven Fact: When greeting a fellow dignitary, it is customary for notible figures to approach one another and shake each others' ears. This acts as an efficient VIP badge...

Arwen: Ah ha! You're Legolas, Prince of Greenwood, no?

Legolas: Sorry, I've got nothing on this ear of yours... Who are you again?

Or...

Arwen & Legolas: How do you dooo-? *yoink*


Or...

Arwen & Legolas: Where did you have you're ears done?!

~ Or... Ka

[Oddwen]

Figur: What manly hands...

[Valesse]

Arwen, Figwit, and Legolas say their tearful farewells as Legolas is slowly devoured by Elrond's hair.

[Eönwë]

Arwen, Figwit, and Legolas say their tearful farewells as Legolas is slowly devoured by Elrond's hair.

Elrond: My manly hair will eat you all!

[Morthoron]

Arwen: What foundation do you use? Your skin is so smooth.

Legolas: Oh, it's from my dermatologist, Gandalf...it's hypo-allergenic. The UV rays outside of Mirkwood wreak havoc on my Sindarin skin. You should try some, Arwen, your skin's a little rough.

[THE Ka]

Elrond:
He'll eat nutritious lembas and swallow raw nightengale eggs.
Try to build up his shoulders, his chest, ears, and legs.
Such an effort if he only knew of my plan.
In just seven days, I can make you a man...

Arwen: Look deep into my eyes Legolas... You... Will... Believe in Elrond the Magnificent's... Manly Hair treatments...

Figwit: I... Do... Believe!

Arwen: Foiled again!

Legolas: I can't help it babe, its the way my hair's supernatural ultra-sheen works. None shall resist and Elrond shall despair with horrible hair. *flips hair and puts on sunglasses*


~ Ka

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Let's get this train wreck back on the road... Yes...

http://i30.tinypic.com/2po9zfb.jpg

Bilbo very quickly regretted trying to smoke The Barrow Wight.

OR

The spirit of the Giant Ear finally left Bilbo's body!

[Kitanna]

Bilbo's attempt to blow a bubble with his gum is a complete failure.

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Gandalf first practiced his exorcizing technique on Bilbo before he went on to Théoden.

[Morthoron]

Unlike comic strip heroes with decades of practice, poor animated Bilbo was unable to keep his dialogue balloon aloft.

[Oddwen]

Bilbo: Ugh! It's sticky! What is it??

Gollum: Youuuu'll find out...

[Hookbill the Goomba]

The reason Bilbo was a bachelor: bad breath.

OR

Gandalf always did wonder what happened to his more magical hat... Bilbo ate it.

[Eönwë]

Bilbo: I knew blowing bubbles without a hoop was a bad idea-maybe I'll use a ring next time!

[kementari]

Bilbo blowing out the cobwebs.

[Gwathagor]

Bilbo: Yuck. Mushrooms will do that to you.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Having smoked everything in his house (including the chairs), Bilbo moved on to the outside...

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Bilbo tried to conceal it, but when he belched it was revealed that it was him who had eaten the blue Istari.

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

http://www.theargonath.cc/stuff/fotrobservation61.jpg

Gandalf's drinking problem was the decisive factor that ment he did not get the job as "The Marlboro Man"

or

Gandalf got the very silly idea to conceal his ridiculous huge nose with a very small cup.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

While no one was looking, Gandalf tried to shove a miniature footstool up his nose.

OR

Gandalf: The next train to depart from platform three will be the eighteen thirty seven service to Birmingham Central calling at; Gathurst, Leeds, Glasgow and wherever the heck the driver feels like.

[Morthoron]

Addictions? Wizards have no addictions. We can stop precisely when we wish to.

[Formendacil]

When Pallando the Blue uncloaked, paparazzi captured this image of Gandalf indulging in three social scandals at once: weed, alcohol, and voyeurism.


OR:



Gandalf's thought: "I bet me uncloaking with Pallando would be just the trick to make the front page."

[Oddwen]

Stupid Hobbit pints...

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Very few know that Dumbledore's Elder Wand also doubled as a pipe.

[mormegil]

Gandalf simply didn't believe in handkerchiefs.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

A pint of bitter: $2
Pipe: $270
Mental preparation for uncloaking before the Council of Elrond: Priceless

[Brinniel]

The Fellowship: Gandalf! Gandalf? Where are you, Gandalf? Help us, Gandalf! Gandalf, we need you!

Gandalf: Gandalf, Gandalf, Gandalf. Can't get even get a moment to relax before they start screaming my name. What is they want this time? I mean, who on Middle-earth do they think I am....some sort of wizard?


Oh...wait...

[Meela]

Only too late did Gandalf realise that, as payback, Merry and Pippin had swapped his pint with the washing up liquid.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

It was this picture that stopped Gandalf from ever being allowed to drive the Van (http://forum.barrowdowns.com/showpost.php?p=559035&postcount=27).

OR

It was only a second before Gandalf realised someone had set his back on fire.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Pippin waited in anxiety: Gandalf had threatened to poke him with a stick if his cappucino wasn't delicious.

[Eönwë]

Gandlaf glances sideways to see if anyone is looking at him, so he can sneak an extra pint.

or

A second before Gandalf realised he'd been poisoned- his beer was made of fermented garlic.

[Morthoron]

A proper fourteen-twenty? Is that in Gondorion years or by Shire reckoning? Bloody mortals, can't keep their calendars straight!

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Gandalf cared very much about his looks and at Bilbo's party it caused him to think:
"Maybe if I attach this cup to my face. they won't notice how ridiculus my beard looks"

[The Elf-warrior]

Gandalf thought to himself, "I've never heard a death metal drinking song before."

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Pippin: They said they're replacing you.

Gandalf: Is that what they say?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/media/images/38101000/jpg/_38101952_legolas.jpg

Legolas: Here they come!

Boromir: Okay, shoot anything that moves and is ugly . . . except Gimli.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Guarding the stairway to Heaven was a tough job.

OR

Legolas: Let's hope these arrows from Rivendel can... Wait a moment... "Made in China"? :eek:

[Oddwen]

Gimli: Legolas! Frodo is surrounded by orcs and is in peril!

Legolas: Do not worry. The halfling will tell no secrets to the enemy.

Or...

Of the worst times to be abducted by aliens, this situation is number seventeen on our countdown.

Or...

Gimli: Beam me up, Mahal!

Or...

All: Gimli! Don't go into the light!!

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

The space-aliens' subtle decoy worked to perfection, and Gimli was easily abducted.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Ha! Snap, Oddwen. :cool:

[Oddwen]

Or as we say in my family, "owe me a coke". :D

I'll expect a lump of it in my stocking this Christmas.

.....

Boromir: Okay, I um, seem to have lost my sword...I'll just...hide behind...my shield....for the rest of the journey...yes.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Boromir: Gandalf's fighting the Balrog, shouldn't we help him?

Legolas: We can't. Only someone from the First Age can fight someone from the First Age.

Gimli: But weren't you in Gondolin?!

Legolas: Oh, c'mon, BoLT ain't canon.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Legolas: ''Now to kill Gandalf, and end this madness...er...I mean, of course, kill the Orc. Yeees, the Orc... *shifts eyes*

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Finaly Legolas got a chance to prove that he was an exelent marxman even with a dwarf attached to his bow.

or

Legolas was the first elf ever to fall asleep in the middle of a battle.

[Groin Redbeard]

Boromir: Oh no! Muppet fans!

Legolas: Quick, Gimli, hide yourself!

[TheGreatElvenWarrior]

Legolas to Boromir: The little twerp, I'm gonna kill him someday!

Boromir: Well you do have a bow and some arrows...

Legolas: Yeah, but Gandalf would turn me into a frog if I killed him.

Gimli: Huh, what was that?

[Eönwë]

Gimli: Kill those orcs! Woops, was that Legolas's head?

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Gimli was disappointed that no one saw his dramatic entrance with lights and lazars. :(

OR

While Legolas stood guard, Boromir stole the wheels from a cart...

[Volo]

It was a sad moment to notice that Gimli had some distant troll ancestry and that the troll-blood reacted to strong concentrated light.

[Morthoron]

Legolas, highly annoyed at the lack of quality dialogue for his character in the movie, aims vindictively at the quote button to the bottom right of the page, thus ensuring no quotes from anyone whatsoever.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Gimli prepares to climb a small rope while no one is looking...

[Eönwë]

Legolas gets his nose stuck in his bow.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Everyone wondered why Logolas hadn't taken his shot yet... He'd been dead for three minutes.

Gimli: Well, at least his conversation will be better now.

[Oddwen]

Gimli: When you offered to get me a box to stand on, I didn't think you were a raving boxopath!

Legolas: Just keep standing on it. Or else.

[THE Ka]

Gimli: Yeah, sorry to be so abrupt with this but I'm beaming out. See you losers later.

Legolas: *snooze*

Boromir: I hope no one discovers that 'loose pounds with Boromir the Dicso King' video...

Gimli: Hey! Listen to me when I'm belittling you!

~ Ka

[Gwathagor]

Gimli: Legolas? That's a mime.

Legolas (thinks): I hate mimes.

[Formendacil]

The ability to balance his shoulder-dwarf while shooting was a key element to Legolas's fame as an archer.

[Morthoron]

Gimli: Cap'n I'm givin' her all she's got, but the ship's tractor beam is pullin' me inta space!"

[Oddwen]

The ability to balance his shoulder-dwarf while shooting was a key element to Legolas's fame as an archer.

Not to mention his skill with the elbow-Boromir...

[mormegil]

Realizing the gravity of the situation Boromir did his best to concentrate at the task at hand, but it was to no avail. He couldn't shake the feeling that the gastro-intestinal problem he developed while in Rivendell would rear it's ugly head at this most inopportune moment.

or

Gimli: That still only counts as one...oh wait that's later that I say that.

[Mithalwen]

It is a little known fact that "Boromir the Tall" was an ironic nickname. The man of Gondor was actually scarcely taller than Gimli ......

or

While Gimli was Gandalf's favourite during the journey through Moria, it seemed that the sun really did shine out of his......

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Time for something new...

http://i26.tinypic.com/sgoiz6.jpg

Treebeard was furious that, despite Saruman's assurances, the earrings weren't very stylish.

OR

Quickbeam was about to become the world's first folk singing ent! :eek:

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

I looked at the picture and thought of two caption, unfortunately I continued reading and found out that they where very close to hookbills. . .

"Merry and Pippin is getting tought some new drinking songs"

and

"Treebeards new "bling bling" was the envy of the other ents"

The jokes aren't the same, but the general theme is!
Anyways I shall come up with some new ones.

------------------------------------------

Merry and Pippin was suprised about just how pleasant it was getting limbs eaten by an ent.

Merry and Pippin was too polite to tell Treebeard that his beard was so sticky and quilted that they where helplessly stuck.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

. . . takes the expression 'chip off the old block' to a new level.

I mean, look at the hair, man.

[Oddwen]

Treebeard: I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay!

Ents: He's a lumberjack and...what?

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Merry and Pippin were about to experience the strangest Diana Ross & The Supremes tribute act in any world.

[Mithalwen]

Fifty years on Bill and Ben were much as they ever had been but time had taken a terrible toll on the Little Weed.

http://www.whirligig-tv.co.uk/tv/children/watchwm/fpm_and_weed.jpg

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Treebeard still couldn't work out where the voices in his head were coming from.

OR

Quickbeam was highly amused that Treebeard was still sporting an Afro.

[mormegil]

Treebeard: And swing your partner dosie-doe...

or

Pippin couldn't help himself, ent draught just gave him a terrible case of gas.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

I don't get this one. :confused:

But, regardless of the picture, one can always fit in a common theme. Say...

Gandalf's uncloakings were attracting new audiences every week. :D

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Trebeard: Isenguard!

Hobbits: Isenguard!

Quickbeam: Isenguard!

Ent: It's only a model.

Treebeard: Shh!!

[doug*platypus]

"What do we want?"

"No orcs!"

"When do we want it?"

"NOW!"

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Treebeard: Oh, look, new pic!

Quickbeam: This should be fun.

http://www.lordoftherings.net/legend/gallery/images/moria/moria11.jpg

This is Sam after seeing Gandalf uncloak.

~*~ or ~*~

This is Sam after seeing Mt. Zoom go by.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Sam realised that he left his trousers at home...

OR

Gandlaf removes his beard to wipe his chin sweat away...

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Sam: Mr Strider sir, I spent two lifetimes in the Wild. Now do I look like you?

Aragorn: . . .

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Deleted scene: Sam is caught trying to strangle Frodo and steal the Ring.

[Thinlómien]

Sam: "The mushrooms were excellent, Mrs Maggot..."

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Sam: "The mushrooms were excellent, Mrs Maggot..."

... until they grew four hundred feet tall and started eating children...

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Sam (drunkenly): Oh, look. It'sh a flying Balrog.

Frodo: Don't be silly, Balrogs don't have wings.

Gollum: And even if they did, they couldn't fly, no they couldn't precious.

Sam: Okay then, who'sh that? Tom Bombadil on a hang-glider?

Nonsensical singing heard.

Sam: . . . Okay, could be Elvesh. Eru knowsh they have thoshe horrible shongsh.

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Sam stares in disbelife as Cliff Richards and Tony Blair plays a game of twister

or

Quite suprisingly Sam's own hair tried to poke out his eyes

or

This is how Sam looked seconds before he was defeated by the Jigsaw Puzzle of Doom!

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

''Begging your pardon, Mr Frodo, but they haven't got the Ring.''

''What do you mean? Did you take it?''

''Mmmm... yeah...''

''That's great! So we can sneak out and go to Mount Doom now!''

''Well, no, y'see Mr Frodo, I traded them for .... some seeds. They totally work, look: I already grew some cress with them.''

''You traded the Ring for a basic vegetable?''

''Um, yeah.''

''Well, I am really hungry--''

''Look out! They have a cave troll!"

[Kitanna]

Sam stumbles upon Elrond trying on his old clothes from The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert.

[mormegil]

Frodo: So I've been thinking about it Sam, why didn't they just mount us up on some eagles and then fly over?

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Sam is glad of the Orcs' intervention: perhaps no-one will notice that his trousers fell down.

Edit: just noticed Hookbill made that joke. :D Ok, er, how about:

Sam is caught trying on Galadriel's dress.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Sam: Gimli was a WHAT (http://forum.barrowdowns.com/showpost.php?p=353224&postcount=29)?!

[Mithalwen]

Grima's routine doesn't go down as well as he had hoped...


http://www.zone-sf.com/images/lotr2tb.jpg

Alternative comedy? Alternative Comedy? You call a flour bomb alternative comedy?

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Alternative comedy? Alternative Comedy? You call a flour bomb alternative comedy?

Grima: Well, it was better than Gandalf's disappearing cl- *Hookbill is speared to the wall by five hundred spears*

[Groin Redbeard]

Gandalf does the macarena after Hookbill gets speared.

[narfforc]

Grima tortures Theoden by tying him to a chair and forcing him to watch Big Brother continuously.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Grima looks on as the horse hair on Eomer's helm begins to grow and grow.

Theoden: Not again!

OR

Grima: Is Eowyn kicking that Dwarf for a reason?

Theoden: Just... Just let it go... :rolleyes:

[TheGreatElvenWarrior]

Grima: (Looks around cautiously) Did you hear the one about...
Theoden: Not another one...:rolleyes:

[Groin Redbeard]

Grima: My lord, Gandalf is staring at us, and he doesn't look happy.

Theoden: Zzzzzz

[Groin Redbeard]

I just remembered one! Here's one for you Hookbill. ;)

Hamma: Announcing the arrival of John Fillis!

[TheGreatElvenWarrior]

I just remembered one! Here's one for you Hookbill. ;)

Hamma: Announcing the arrival of John Fillis! You forgot to mention what Grima and Theoden said about that.

Theoden: Who is John Fillis?
Grima: Your guess is as good as mine...

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Théoden: Severus, I need my Wolfsbane Pot--AWOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Theoden's sick horse gets into the throne room... AGAIN!

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Grima was furious: he had ordered the mummy, not the zombie.