Crazy Captions

[Boromir88]

Haldir: Oh not now...cramp!

[narfforc]

Haldir- "LEGOLAS!!!!, have you seen my helmet anywhere"

[mormegil]

Haldir just remember he didn't take his mom's advice and was NOT wearing clean underwear.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

This picture shows Haldir two second after telling that orc to "Look up there!"

OR

Haldir knew this discount hair dressers was a bad idea...

[Valesse]

Across the Hornburg was heard "Red light! Green light! One... two... three!"

OR

MMORPG lag. Always at the worst times.

[narfforc]

Haldir: "I smell trouble"

Orc: "That'll be the armpits, wait until you smell my feet"

[Boromir88]

Haldir was not informed about the covered quicksand pits spread throughout Helm's Deep's defenses.

[Eönwë]

Uruk: Do the dance, Haldir!
Haldir: What!? Now!?

--OR---
(alternately)

Uruk: Do the dance, Haldir!
Haldir: Let's go! *slips and falls*

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Cheating Wife's Secret Elf-affair Uncovered

[Valesse]

Haldir discovers that extreme roller hockey just wasn't for him.

[Boromir88]

Haldir sees the new caption...":eek: must....not...see him...uncloak!"

http://tolkienilu.chez-alice.fr/film/ttt/gandalfhelm.jpg

Gandalf teaches line dancing every saturday night now. "shuffle left...shuffle right and grapevine."

[mormegil]

The town has final had enough of Gandalf's uncloaking, and his days are over...

++Gandalf

[Mnemosyne]

Gandalf: Aaaaaaaaah! A spider!

[Oddwen]

Gandalf: Flee, foul minions of Saruman, or you shall see Gandalf the White Unclo...AHH!

Swarm of Downers: Oh no you don't!

[Morsul the Dark]

Gandalf: You see with TIDE(tm) My cloak stays clean even during the worst of battles

[FeRaL sHaDoW]

Gandalf loved going to rave parties on his horse.

[Boromir88]

Shadowfax's mighty sneeze has the power to stun Orcs and de-horse her rider.

Or

Gandalf: Ma-ia-heee, Ma-ia-huuu, Ma-ia-haa, Ma-ia-haha

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Gandalf never was good at going incognito...

OR

Gandalf: Sorry, Shadowfax, I've got to fly! * whoosh*

[Kuruharan]

Uruk Looking Up Gandalf's Robe: So what is all this uncloaking I keep hearing about..?

[narfforc]

In an attempt to avoid the orkish swords, Gandalf does the Scootish sabre dance on horseback.




or



"No!!!!, you stupid orcs, this how to hold a weapon", shouted Gandalf as he showed them his staff...................

[The Only Real Estel]

The delay the Uruks caused on the way out to the pasture was of particularly great annoyance to Gandalf & the Rohirrim for; as you can see by the state of their path from the door, their horses just couldn't "hold it" any longer! :eek:

[Babidi Buu]

Uruk-Bowling with Gandalf and Shadowfax, it never gets old..

[Eönwë]

Shadowfax is extremely flexible (and long)

[Boromir88]

Gandalf: Hi-ho Shadowfax! To the new picture!

http://vitek.blatna.net/images/lotr/lotr_Faramir_Boromir.jpg

Everyone in Gondor found out about Boromir's little secret.

Faramir: It's alright brother, you still need daddy to read bedtime stories and tuck you in at night, there's nothing to be ashamed of....really... :p

[Oddwen]

Spitting contests. Enjoyed everywhere that Dunedain are Dunedain.

[Morsul the Dark]

boromir: do you smell that?

faramir: seriously it's stinging my eyes!

Boromir: Every time those rangers come in for supplies

[mormegil]

Faramir: Yes we did lose Osgiliath but I saved 15% by switching to Geico.

[Oddwen]

Faramir: Heh heh, that silly Ranger didn't even know what Disco is...woah! Hold hard, Borrums!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Boromir: If one more person calls me Sharpe, I'm going to snap!

OR

This Beard growing contest has been going on for some time. They want to grow them by sheer will power.

[Nessa Telrunya]

Boromir: You did WHAT with a cucumber and one of my gauntlets?!

Faramir: Nonono, I meant to say greaves, not gauntlets!

Boromir:One of my greaves? X_X

[Boromir88]

Boromir: I want that new caption torn down from the walls immediately!

http://tolkienilu.chez-alice.fr/film/ttt/2.jpg

Now playing: "Aragorn the demon barber of Helm's Deep"

[Hakon]

Aragorn: Stay still a second, I need to clean your teeth with this new dental instrument.

[FeRaL sHaDoW]

Having problems feeding your toddler?
Aragorn: Here comes the aeroplane zooooooooooooooom.... Come on..... you cannot grow any bigger if you don’t eat your peas.

[The Elf-warrior]

Aragorn: "I will stab at the gap between your helmet and your body armor!"

[Inziladun]

Aragorn: "Take it back! Arwen is not my cousin!"

[mormegil]

Seriously, what is that one Uruk doing in the background. A battle is raging and he's just standing around enjoying the view.

[Inziladun]

Seriously, what is that one Uruk doing in the background. A battle is raging and he's just standing around enjoying the view.

A union man. He's on overtime. ;)

[Morthoron]

Aragorn: "What do you mean you want to lead? I am the better dancer!"

[mormegil]

I'll cut your heart out with a spoon...I mean a knife.

[narfforc]

Aragorn replaces the last rib into his life-size Uruk Jigsaw.

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Aragorn foolishly decided to make his stand on the part of Helms Deep made of quick sand.

or

Aragorn was about to realise that his knife had been replaced by a odd shaped banana.

[Boromir88]

Seriously, what is that one Uruk doing in the background. A battle is raging and he's just standing around enjoying the view.~mormegil
He's looking at the new picture of course. :p

http://www.geocities.com/khallandra/Fellowship/cavetroll2_lrg.jpg

Troll: *roars* Eat your vegetables!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Troll: Wow! Is that an Elf Blade 2000? I've ALWAYS wanted one of them!

OR

Troll: I got something stuck in this tooth, could you get it? I think it's a bit of your friend.

Sam: :eek:

[narfforc]

Troll: Oh I do say, aren't you that young fellow from The Goonies?

[Mithalwen]

Seriously, what is that one Uruk doing in the background. A battle is raging and he's just standing around enjoying the view.

There is mediaeval painting in the National Gallery which has a woodcutter continuing to chop a tree down despite a massacre/martyrdom going on in the clearing... "I didn't see anything I was felling my tree.... "

Anyway to plagiarise PG Wodehouse

It is never difficult to distinguish between a cave-troll with a grievance and a ray of sunshine.

[Oddwen]

Troll: Boo!

Or...

Sam: Oh funny, really funny Gandalf. I can see the strings you know!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Sam is wearing a particularly offensive T-Shirt.

[narfforc]

Sam is wearing a particularly offensive T-Shirt.


It reads Hookbill is 4

[Eönwë]

Arwen: Boys. Always trying to be the alpha-male *sigh*

or

Sam: roar!
Cave troll: ROOOAAARRR!!!

or

The staring contest went on for hours.

[Pitchwife]

Cave troll: "What do you mean, I'm not supposed to be in this scene??!" ;)

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Arwen forgot to wear her make-up.

[Gwathagor]

"No, YOOUUR mom!!!"

[Gwathagor]

Anyway to plagiarise PG Wodehouse

It is never difficult to distinguish between a cave-troll with a grievance and a ray of sunshine.

:D:D:D

[mormegil]

Sam learned to knock before entering after this little incident.

[FeRaL sHaDoW]

Smeagol had really let himself go over the last few years and had gained some unwanted pounds.

or

They are just as scared of you as your scared of them.

Troll: Eeeeeeeeeeekkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

[Boromir88]

Sam: You're fired.

[Nessa Telrunya]

"You ate the last KLONDIKE BAR!!!"

[HerenIstarion]

Sam pondering at his reflection in the mirror the day after being served beer 'in pints' in Bree...

[Boromir88]

Troll: Bring me a new picture now!

http://www.ghostinthemachine.net/saruman.jpg

Saruman being kicked out of the Wizard's Association decides to spend his free time by joining the Arda Bowling League.

[mormegil]

This is very uncommon knowledge but the Istari often played keepsie on their marble games. Saruman just got a prize marble from Gandalf.

[Oddwen]

S: Ha! My magic-8 ball says "Yes!" What say you to that, Gandalf the Grey?

[Eönwë]

Saruman tries to turn the palantir yellow through the sheer force of his will.

or

Saruman: "No"! Not "no"! Stupid 8-ball. Grima is my friend!

or

Saruman applies make-up with his new mirror

or

Saruman: [to himself] Do I have something in my teeth?

or

Saruman tries to get fire to come out of his nostrils.

[Inziladun]

Saruman's 'war face' still needed work.

[Boromir88]

Saruman takes a look into Edoras' closed practices to give Isengard an advantage in the 2010 Arda Cup. :p

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Saruman was starting to regret not using that hand-pimple cream. :eek:

[mormegil]

Saruman learns of Sauron's betrayal of their pact when he sees an orc moon line (a-la Braveheart) in the Palantir.

[The Only Real Estel]

Saruman: "Palantir, Palantir in my hand: Who is the fairest in the land?"

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Saruman: "Palantir, Palantir in my hand: Who is the fairest in the land?"

Palantir: I am!

Saruman: ... um... Where did I leave the receipt for this thing?

[Mithalwen]

Saruman : I should have gone for the iphone....

[HerenIstarion]

Middle-Earth Bowling Championship Final:

Saruman: Com'on, I need that strike, now!

[Boromir88]

Saruman: "Palantir, Palantir in my hand: Who is the fairest in the land?"

Palantir: Warning, can not compute. Can not compute! Self destruct in 3 seconds.

[mormegil]

Saruman's elation soon turned into fierce anger when he realized that the street vendor sold him a fake palantir.

Or

Saruman's is angered when the only thing he sees from his palantir is Gandalf the Gray....uncloaking :rolleyes:

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Saruman's is angered when the only thing he sees from his palantir is Gandalf the Gray....uncloaking :rolleyes:

Saruman: I knew when Gandalf said he'd commandeered the Palantir network for 'something important' it would be THIS.

OR

After putting his hand out to check for rain, Saurman soon realised that these hail stones were going to land him in hospital in three... two... one...

[narfforc]

Saruman is about to lose to Sauron in a Staring-out Competition.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Sauron: Mordor Pizza delivery, how can I help you?

Saruman: MY CAVE TROLL PIZZA WAS FIVE HOURS LATE! AND IT HAD TEETH MARKS IN IT! I DEMAND A REFUND.

Sauron: Hold on, I'll get the manager. Please hold.

*five hours of monotonous hold music later*

Sauron: Hey, turns out I AM the manager. How can I help?

Repeat to infinity...

[FeRaL sHaDoW]

(Dial tone) Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep-booooooop-beeeeeeeeeeep-brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr -de –de-de -beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep -brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr -vrum -vrum -vrum -beeeeeeeeeeeeeep.

Saruman hated his palantir dial up connection.

[The Only Real Estel]

Saruman was enraged when he removed his gift from Santa from his stocking - yet another lump of coal.

[Boromir88]

Saruman: Palantir! I command ye to reveal the next picture!

http://www.warofthering.net/quintessential/movieshots/galadriel_mirror.jpg

Galadriel: I know what it is you see, for it is also on my mind...

Frodo: Yes, well you can't deny you burnt the pizza, it's still smoldering

[narfforc]

Galadriel finds out that you can't destroy the evidence of killing your husband by B.B.Q.

[narfforc]

When Galadriel recites 'Mirror ,Mirror not so tall, what is cooking to consume for all. Frodo finds it difficult to imagime Half-baked Halfling.

[Inziladun]

Galadriel: 'Do not touch the water! It is time for my exfoliative rinse.'

[Boromir88]

Galadriel: Will you look into my pensieve?

Frodo: Umm...Lady Galadriel are you sure you are thinking of the right movie?

Galadriel: I don't know why I didn't get the part of Dumbledore. I am much hotter than the one they gave it too!

[Morthoron]

I've won an Oscar...I've played Queen Elizabeth I on two occasions...how in the heck did I end up serving hungry hobbits at a Middle-earth greasy spoon?

[mormegil]

Galadriel was uncertain if the ring had been entrusted to the right person when Frodo thought her mirror was for pipe weed smoking.

[Eönwë]

Frodo: No! No! Frying spoilss nice fissh *gollum*
Galadriel: [thinking] what an inferior life-form...

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Lothlorien's air conditioners didn't work too well...

OR

Galadriel: I don't know what you did, Frodo, but you're going to have to buy me a new mirror.

[Eönwë]

Galadriel: Who put potassium in my mirror?
Frodo: Potassium, what's potassium? Do we even have that sort of knowledge in Middle-Earth?
Galadriel: Wait, what?

or

Frodo and Galadriel mourn over the loss of a burnt piece of lembas.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Frodo: So this is where Gandalf keeps his fireworks for the rest of the time!

[The Elf-warrior]

Smoke on the Water.

[Parmastahir]

Frodo: "Alakazam and . . . POOF! Your dollar is gone! There! That's real magic."

Galadriel: "Ahhh. So 'magic' is another name for thievery. Gimme back my buck."

[The Only Real Estel]

Frodo: "That's it?"

Galadriel: "It's a smoke bomb."

Frodo: "Yeah but that's it??"

Galadriel: "It was 'The Mighty Exploding Smoke Screen Bomb of Doom*,' the largest one they had there."

Frodo: "The smoke wasn't even colored!!"



*Isn't it funny how they come up with some of the most ridiculous & over-the-top sounding names you could ever imagine for fireworks? And often times small ones that don't even do anything...

[Boromir88]

Galadriel: What do you see?

Frodo: A new pic!

http://sean.mythicdesigns.net/boromir4/boromir1.jpg

Uruk: Woah, watch where you're swinging that thing!

or...

Boro: I want to see you dance.

Uruk: Huh? :confused:

Boro: I said Dance!

[The Only Real Estel]

Given his options, Pippin decided it was safer to go off & fight the statue in the background & leave Boromir to take on the Uruk.



Boro - the first thing I thought when I saw that picture was something along the lines of your "Dance!" caption - only you had posted & my idea was still taken!! :mad: :D

[Boromir88]

Boro - the first thing I thought when I saw that picture was something along the lines of your "Dance!" caption - only you had posted & my idea was still taken!! :mad: :D
hehe my apologies. But you got a good caption, with all the attention being drawn to the Uruk and Boro's sword, I didn't even realize Pippin was in the picture. Good catch. ;)

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Boromir's unique style of dentistry wasn't appreciated by all.

OR

Uruk: Hay, that Hobbit stole your wal- *dead*

[Boromir88]

Unbeknownst to Boro, Pippin had placed a 'Kick Me' sign on his back, and when the Uruk kicked him, he had enough.

[Inziladun]

Boromir distracts his foe with a masterful tactic: 'Your shoe's untied!'

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Uruk: aaah! A spider! Get it off. Get it off. Get it off. Get it off.

Boromir: Just hold still! I'll get it.

FOUR SECONDS LATER:

Uruk: Thanks man, I hate spiders you know.

Boromir: Hey, don't worry. I have this irrational fear of arrows.

Uruk: You know, this whole experience has helped me deal with a lot of issues. Maybe I could do the same for you with your phobia?

Boromir: That doesn't sound dangerous at all!

[Morthoron]

Boromir: No, I am not happy to see you -- but yes, that was a sword in my pocket.

[narfforc]

Uruk: Is that thing Sharpe?



Sorry couldn't avoid it




.

[mormegil]

The uruk didn't realize the cost of telling a 'your momma' joke to Boromir.

Or

The uruk didn't realize the cost of telling a 'Gandalf uncloaking' joke to Boromir
(Even here I can get one of those in :p)

[The Only Real Estel]

Middle Earth's Dancing With the Stars was cancelled after just one season.

The obvious lack of talent aside, it simply couldn't be ignored that every time a toe got stepped on, a casualty ensued.

[Eönwë]

Boromir: Are those wings on your back?
Ugluk: No! I'm not a Balrog!
Boromir: Balrogs don't have wings!
Ugluk: Yes they do!
Boromir: No they don't! How could it have fallen then?
Ugluk: Yes they did. How could it's wings spread from wall to wall?
Boromir: They were metaphorical!
Ugluk: No they weren't!
Boromir: Balrogs don't have wings!
Ugluk: Yes they do!
Boromir: *draws sword* *charges*

Pippin: *runs away* Does it really matter that much?

[Boromir88]

Uruk: Quick! Look at the new pic!

http://www.arandor.com/rivendell/images/arandorawards/ttt/faramirfrodo.jpg

Frodo: Spare change?

[narfforc]

Frodo: OUCH! I've got a splinter.

Faramir: You'll have to come to The Houses of Healing via Osgiliath to get that removed.

Sam, from somewhere near: By roights I don't think we should go near there Mr Frodo.

[Inziladun]

Faramir: 'Robin Hood? Never heard of 'em!'

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Frodo: Look, Faramir, you can threaten all you like, but we're not stopping every time you see an injured insect.

OR

Faramir: Where did you get that gold coin?

Frodo: I found it.

Faramir: Why does it say 'Property of Boromir'?

Frodo: That's just silly. Boromir died.

Faramir: ... ... Did you steal from a dead body?

Frodo: ... um... *runs away*

[Oddwen]

Frodo: Owie! I have a boo boo!

Faramir: .......

Frodo: Waaaaaah! Kiss it, Faramir!

Faramir: ..........

Guy in the background: Walking away, doodley doo...

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Yet another innocent bypasser falls victim to Faramirs terrible aim

[Eönwë]

Frodo owns up to stealing Faramir's pet stone

[The Only Real Estel]

Frodo was having a bit of trouble adapting to the "No Phone Useage At Work" policy at his new job.

Foreman Faramir: "Are you texting again!!??"

Frodo: "Whaa? Of course not..."

[Eönwë]

Frodo: Please, sir, can I have some more?

[Loslote]

Frodo: What do you mean we've been the victims of a cleverly planned reality show?!

[Lalwendë]

An ancient Hobbit schoolboy prank.

What Faramir didn't know was that Frodo was not actually cradling a pretty butterfly he just had to see, but a cunningly concealed piece of Oliphaunt dung.

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Faramir had not wanted to hurt him, but when Frodo had claimed to be a paperweight named Lord Hakan something had to be done.

[The Might]

Two kids watching LotR on DVD.
One of them freezes the film at this very moment an turns over to the other:

"See the guy in the background? That's MY uncle in LotR!"

Btw, I really like Eonwe's idea. :)

[Lalwendë]

Faramir thought Frodo was holding a sinister Ring of Power in his cupped hands but it was something far more sinister. It was less The Return of the King, more The Return of Sam's Rabbit Curry Thing.

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Faramir: (eying the Ring) I know what you're thinking. Did I fire
5 arrows or 6? Well, to tell you the truth, in all the excitement
I've lost count. What you've got to ask yourself is, "Do I feel lucky?"
Well...do ya, punk?

Frodo: I gots to know.

Faramir: Oh, please. We're in Ithilien now, not the Shire!
Let's use proper grammer, Halfling.

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

http://www.legalmoviesdownloads.com/still-frames-movie-pictures/the-lord-of-the-rings-the-return-of-the-king/the-lord-of-the-rings-the-return-of-the-king-16-dominic-monaghan-merry-deezel-porkchop-riggs.jpg

Theodens first assignment for Merry: "Stand still for 5 years"

[narfforc]

Merry 'I don't suppose you know how to remove Super glue do you?'.

[Loslote]

Merry: This doesn't seem very sharp.

Hama: Well, why don't you try it out then? ... NOT ON ME!!!

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Merry: No, I'm not really 20 times the size of those
guys. It's just forced perspective. Trust me.

[Morthoron]

Having had enough of Peter Jackson's poor scripting, Dominic Monaghan considers committing ritual Seppuku.

[Thinlómien]

Merry: You hold it like this, right?

OR

Merry: Oh gosh, Théoden has left his zipper unzipped!

[narfforc]

Merry asks if he can have the fork which matches the knife he's holding.

[Mithalwen]

Merry remembers he left the gas on at Crickhollow.

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Merry had been very proud of the sword given to him, but less so when he realised that for years it had been used for scraping gum off the underside of the tables in the Golden Hall.

[Inziladun]

"If he mentions his dreams about Arwen one more time...."

[Morsul the Dark]

Merry- Sure I have a sword but they have helmets... Could I have a helmet? maybe some armor? no?....

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Merry was contemplating making surrealism an integrated part of everyday life.

or

Merry was awaiting his punishment for drunk riding.

or

Merry was used as Middle-earths first compass.

[Mithalwen]

Merry at last realised that his attempt to reconstruct an Escher drawing is inevitably doomed.

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Merry realizes with horror that his stone troll utensils are
useless since Fatty Bolger just ate the last oliphaunt steak. :eek:

[Morsul the Dark]

http://www.jrrtolkien.org.uk/Images/SamMoria.jpg

Gandalf(offscreen): Although Merry seems saddened I must tell you the discussion on this thread has petered out we need a new image.

[Boromir88]

Sam is shocked by Frodo's reading of MLIA

[Inziladun]

Sam's 3-day pipe-weed binge had some negative side effects.

[Loslote]

All of a sudden, the hobbits realized with horror that they've been turned into cartoons.

[Gwathagor]

More like with disgust.

[Morsul the Dark]

All of a sudden, the hobbits realized with horror that they've been turned into cartoons.

Actually their true horror came when they realized how badly they were pixelized.

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Gandalf: Ah yes, I can translate this. It's in orcish.
Oh my God, it says: "How to cook hobbits!" :eek:

Sam: (Blows on page). No wait, it says "How to cook for hobbits." :)

Gandalf blows harder on page: It's "How to cook forty hobbits."

Sam blows even harder: Nope. It says " How to cook for forty hobbits."

Frodo: All right. That's it. No more Simpson Halloween programs for you guys! :p

[Morthoron]

Gandalf: I now pronounce you Sam and...hobbit? Frodo, do you have the Ring?

Frodo: They can't have the Ring.

Gandalf: Ummm...Frodo, we discussed this prior to the wedding.

Frodo: I don't care what we discussed, the Ring is precious to me!

Sam: But Mr. Frodo, we've only rented the hall 'till 10 pm. We don't have time to be arguing about the Ring.

Frodo: The Ring is only ceremonial, you don't need a Ring to be married.

Gandalf: This is absurb! I was a member of the Royal Shakespeare Company, dash it all! I don't need this inane role.

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

The moment Sam realised that he was holding another persons hand and not his pet-turtle Gustav.

or

Gandalf had left the hobbits in charge of his libary for 4 min and when he returned, all the words in all the book had been replaced by squished ants.

[The Saucepan Man]

Frodo: What does it say Gandalf?

Gandalf: It says ....[dramatic pause] ... Gondor has no trousers! Gondor needs no trousers!

[Oddwen]

Gandalf: Hrrm, harumph, this is the fabled tome of Crázy Captiöns, and long has it thought to have been lost...

Frodo: But what does it say, Gandalf?

Gandalf: Hmm? Hmm, that is the question, my dear Hobbit. Legend says that the tome of Crázy Captiöns has been the pinnacle of human thoughts, its greatest achievement, its most enduring thread. I read it now with the utmost anticipation...hmm, hmm, yes..."Not Left Handed"..."Meela and the Steward"...puns, puns, more puns..."Mount Zoom"...and...what's this? "Gandalf the Grey Uncloaked"? Piff and tosh! It's just a load of rubbish.

Pippin: I don't know Gandalf, I thought that last one was rather hilarious.

Gandalf: Fool of a Took!

Boromir: Disco King, really?

Sam: Begging your pardon Master Gandalf, but I actually find that all of the pants jokes have me rolling in the aisles, if you follow me.

Frodo: Gandalf, what is Mapquest and why is it so stupid?

Aragorn: Come to think of it Gandalf, didn't I just accidentally run into you the other night...

Gandalf: Shut up!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

It was with great difficulty that Sam had to prevent Merry from putting more graffiti on the parchment.

OR

Frodo: And you really think that these future films will try and do the whole trilogy? I thought you said it was impossible!

Gandalf: Well, they leave things out.

Frodo: But what about this bit here? The 'Wargs of Isenguard attack the Rohirum on the way to Helms Deep' bit.

Gandalf: Well, yes, but still there's always-

Frodo: And what's this about no singing? It won't be a Tolkien film without a song every five minutes.

[Boromir88]

http://www.warofthering.net/quintessential/movieshots_ttt/wotr_grimameduseldsteps.jpg

Theoden made a bet he could beat Grima with two arms tied behind his back.

or...

Theoden: None shall pass.

Grima: Both your arms are cut off!

Theoden: No they aren't. The way I have my garments draped only makes it look like I have no arms. It's a mere illusion to trick opponents, for I can still wield a brand. *stabs Grima in one swift motion*

[Hakon]

Gandalf watches calmly as Theoden starts singing death metal to a terrified Grima.

[Inziladun]

Gríma replacing Théoden's bunion cream with stinging orc-medicine was the final straw.

[Mnemosyne]

Legolas: So... your uncle, eh?

Eowyn: Oh, he's only like this when he's off his meds.

[Formendacil]

Théoden and Gandalf kick Gríma out of the "Cranky Old Men" clubhouse.

[Loslote]

Theoden: MY PRECIOUSSSS!!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Grima often avoided Theoden's wrath by going below his line of sight.

Grima: He NEVER looks down.

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Wormtongue as he picks up his camera:

"Yes! Yes! Work for me Kingy. Shake that booty!
Gandalf, you're next. Show me rage-anger-vengeance! That's it!!! :mad:
Eowyn hon, you're next. I want to see a pout. Come
on, shake what your momma gave you! :Merisu:
And people. You guards. This runway MUST be ready by tomorrow.
That darling man Saruman is coming to see the latest
fashions and he's loaded." :rolleyes:

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

It was the worst breath in the history of Rohan.

[Hakon]

Theoden: You see those three people standing up there?

Grima: Yea

Thoeden: I love those people, now only if I could figure out who the short one and blond one are.

[Mithalwen]

Theoden "My brain hurts!"

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Gandalf made a fortune by staging bum-fights in Rohan.

or

Theoden did not at all find it funny that Grimma had glued uncooked spaghetti to his head, as a joke.

or

This is what happens when somebody disturbs Theoden during his nap.

[narfforc]

GANDALF: Where's Aragorn gone?

LEGOLAS: He was here a moment ago.

GRIMA: Please don't set him on me as well, it's not fair.

GIMLI: I'll just go and find him.

THEODEN: Who the hell is this Aragorngon?

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Theoden: Now, Grima, you stay there and keep that step fixed to the ground!

Grima: But sire, gravity does that by itself, you don't need me to-

Theoden: Hey! Who's king around here?

Grima: *sigh* You are, sire.

Theoden: That's right!

OR

Theoden: Grima! I told you to keep my coat on my shoulders! It's slipping down! You are banished!

[FeRaL sHaDoW]

Theoden: Grima! This is no time for yoga!

[Eönwë]

Grima, Theoden and Gandalf work out the riddle of the Sphinx.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Theoden's "hilarious" trapdoor prank would have went more smoothly had Grima not been so fat.

[Parmastahir]

"Theoden King, do not turn around. Gandalf just . . . UNCLOAKED!"

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Grima: Don't even breathe. His vision is based on movement!

Théoden: I'm not a T-rex, Grima.

Grima: ... ah... I'm screwed then.

[Morsul the Dark]

Theoden: HAHA Grima I found you, the riders, Gandalf, Legolas, Eowyn, even Gimli... now where did that pesky Aragorn hide? Tell ME!

EDIT: Realized this was the same Idea as Narfoccs.. oops :rollseyes:

[Boromir88]

Theoden: Where is the new pic!

http://www.the-reel-mccoy.com/movies/2001/images/FellowshipOfTheRing1.jpg

Frodo: Woah! Gandalf! Ever consider closing the stall door!

Gandalf: I blasted it because I couldn't get it open

[Formendacil]

Frodo's understanding of the world was shattered the first time he realised that what Gandalf meant by "pipeweed" was not, in fact, a type of Nicotiana, but rather a member of the cannabis family.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Frodo finally understood why the Balrod had been so insistent on ignoring his claims of 'you cannot pass'. Someone had put a "ignore everything I say" sign on his back.

OR

Frodo was not sure hot to react to the fact that Gandalf had just eaten his hat.

[narfforc]

Frodo:- Gandalf, why is your hair smouldering?

Gandalf:- It's this new weed I'm trying, it gives off a little bit too much methane.

Frodo:- You're not trying the one called Largebottom Leaf invented by Tootbad Holeblower are you?

[Loslote]

Frodo berates Gandalf mercilessly as he tries to remember his 'Downs password.

[Hakon]

Sorry for another one of these but I think I finally came up with one that works.

Frodo stares blankly at Gandalf as he remembers the Night of Uncloaking.

[The Elf-warrior]

Gandalf reconsiders the wisdom of Agent Elrond's statement that Hobbits are a virus.

[Boromir88]

Gandalf: Shh Frodo! Don't break my concentration, I need to beat this trogolodyte in a staring contest.

Frodo: You're aware that trogolodytes don't have eyes...right?

Gandalf: Quiet!

[Mithalwen]

Frodo is shocked to realise they have screwed up the scaling again...

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Gandalf: It's hopeless Frodo. We can't beat Sauron.
Frodo: The last thing Bilbo said to me before we left Rivendell was, 'Frods,' he said, 'sometime when the nine walkers are up against it and the breaks are beating them, tell them to go out there with all they've got and win just one for the Shire!'

Oh, and if that doesn't work, send in Rudy.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Frodo: What's the matter Gandalf?

Gandalf: *Sigh* Saruman replaced my underpants with jelly again.

Frodo: I see... Wait... What?

[Boromir88]

Frodo: Woah. Look at Aragorn in the new pic!

Gandalf: I know, I've been wondering if we should ditch him.

http://www.ringsgeek.net/images/Funny%20Face%20King.jpg

*^d% *ca$*&% ^f*#*te

or

Aragorn steps on a nail. :rolleyes:

or put the two together. :p

[Loslote]

Legolas: I always knew they were evil.

Gimli: So...pink and...fluffy.

[The Elf-warrior]

Viggo Mortensen: "I'm an actor, not a ranger!"

[Morsul the Dark]

Aragorn: THIS..IS..GOOOOONDOOOOR!

or

Aragorn shopping at Walmart on Black Friday
Aragorn: I saw that TV First ARGHHH

or

Aragorn: LEGGO MY EGGGGGGOOOOOOOOOOO

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Aragorn: Must... Stop... GANDALF!!!

OR

Just before delivering the final line of his epic rallying speech, Aragorn sneezed, thus ruining the whole thing.

[Oddwen]

Aragorn catches a face full of the Black Breath.

[The Saucepan Man]

Aragorn: Who's *****ing idea was it to test this *****ing suit of armour in a *****ing wind tunnel?

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Movie Aragorn speaking to Lurtz:
"Hello. My name is Aragorn Strider. You killed Boromir. Prepare to die."

[Eönwë]

Aragorn does his best Warg impression.

or

*Aragorn does his best Warg impression*

Boromir: what's that meant to be?

[Morsul the Dark]

I....have....to....peee.... Now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[FeRaL sHaDoW]

Lord of the Rings.... the musical
or
Ranger of the opera

[Oddwen]

Right about then, Aragorn stepped on the garden rake.

Or...

Right about then, Aragorn tripped the hidden trap door.

Or...

Right about then, Aragorn ran into Pippin's wingéd helm.

Or...

Right about then, Aragorn turned tail and bravely charged the other way.

Or...

Right about then, Aragorn charged the wrong Black Gate and swore off Mapquest forever.

Or...

"Do you hear that, King of Gondor? Those are the shrieking Nazgul. They always shriek the loudest when they're about to feed on human flesh!"

(Aragorn doesn't get eaten by the Nazgul at this time)

Or...

To his eternal shame, Aragorn's victory shout sounded more like a victory squeal.

Or...

"Disooorder! Disoorder! Disoooo-oooo-oorder!"

Or...

Right about then, Oddwen ran out of

[Eönwë]

After getting tired of his Warg impression, Aragorn tried the next one on the list... the Angry Ranger.

[Boromir88]

Right about then, Aragorn stepped on the garden rake.

Or...

Right about then, Aragorn tripped the hidden trap door.

Or...

Right about then, Aragorn ran into Pippin's wingéd helm.

Or...

Right about then, Aragorn turned tail and bravely charged the other way.

Or...

Right about then, Aragorn charged the wrong Black Gate and swore off Mapquest forever.

Or...

"Do you hear that, King of Gondor? Those are the shrieking Nazgul. They always shriek the loudest when they're about to feed on human flesh!"

(Aragorn doesn't get eaten by the Nazgul at this time)

Or...

To his eternal shame, Aragorn's victory shout sounded more like a victory squeal.

Or...

"Disooorder! Disoorder! Disoooo-oooo-oorder!"

Or...

Right about then, Oddwen ran out of

Or...

Right about then, Aragorn stepped into a bear trap :p

[Mugwump]

http://ergo-sum.net/gaming/nazgul_perp.jpg

[Your caption here.]

[Loslote]

Restaurant owner: No face, no soul, no service.

OR:

*two minutes earlier* Nazgul: And for my third wish, fairy godmother, I want - Random person: That's it, I'm calling Security!

[Mnemosyne]

Cop: No ticket.

[Hakon]

Cops: Sir please come with us.

Nazgul: I would like a double cheeseburger with some of Aragorn's hair on the side.

Cops: Sir come with us now or we will have to use force.

Nazgul: Also add in some Peter Jackson brains with a side of movie elf.

The cops then drag the Nazgul away for ordering nonsense from a parked car.

[FeRaL sHaDoW]

Police arrest suspect over attempted jewellery store robbery.
Or
The Nazgul was sentenced to five-hundred hours of community service and fined two thousand silver pieces after pleading guilty to -Five counts of flying on a fell beast while under the influence -two counts of public indecency and -one count of misuse of a Morgul blade.
Or
Nazgul arrested after breaching a restraining order held against him by Mr. Baggins

[Inziladun]

Nazgûl: 'No, no! To Mordor you will take me!'
Officer: 'Nice try, pal. Everyone knows Mordor's a country club prison. You're going to Lórien to do Community Service as Groundskeeper.'

[Boromir88]

The Nazgul's "black breath" is ancient speech for the breath of a really drunk Nazgul

Cop: Your BAC was 19 times the legal limit! It's a miracle you're not dead.

Nazgul: *hic* Now there's irony for you! *hic*

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Nazgul: Look over there!

Police1: We're not falling for that one again!

Police2: Yeah, your 8 friends might have got away with it. But, fool me seven times or whatever...

OR

Police man left: Look, your novelty watch doesn't even tell the time. And it's big and impractical!

Police man right: Awww! But's its SO COOL!

[Mugwump]

The winner so far is Loslote, with:

"No face, no soul, no service."

:D

[Boromir88]

Nazgul: Before you haul me off, roll the new pic!

http://www.cellardoor.the-green-door.net/images/Merry&Pippin.jpg

Pippin's most important contribution to the War of the Ring...being Merry's pillow.

[Loslote]

Pippin: Hey, look, Merry! It's Santa!

Merry: No, silly, it's Dumbledore!

Gandalf: Who spiked the punch?!

[Inziladun]

Merry discreetly tried to warn Pippin of the Boa Constrictor round his neck.

[narfforc]

Pippin wins the Ale vs Weed Halucination Contest whilst squinting at Gandalf the Pink on his Big Pink Pig

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Merry to Pippin: "Wow, way to go, Pip. I see
not everything about hobbits is half man-size!"

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Pippin was slowly coming around to the fact that Merry wasn't, after all, a qualified doctor.

Pippin: You said you were listening to my heart beat...

Merry: Um... Hobbit hearts are in the shoulder?

[Glirdan]

Being under the influence helped Merry and Pippin handle the ghastly sight of Gandalf...UNCLOAKED!!

[Oddwen]

Merry drunkenly tries to sneak a taste of Pippin's pipe.

[Eönwë]

Pippin tries to do his warg impression.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

We've all done it: drink, smoke, end up lost in an underground Dwarven mine. You're not young forever.

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Merry and Pippin was so drunk that they did not notice "Sketchy Hand" running off with the pipe.

[wilwarin538]

Merry and Pippin also attended Bostonmoot. :p

[The Only Real Estel]

There's never a wrong time for quoting The Princess Bride, & when you're half-baked it might actually be one of the best times do so...

Pippin: "Mawwaige...Mawwaige is what bwings us togethew today..."

[Parmastahir]

but it has to be done.

Pippin: "I don't care how much you smoke, Merry, nor how much I drink. The image of Gandalf uncloaking is burned into my mind forever."

Merry: "I think I'm going to be ill. By the way, whose hand is that?"

[Loslote]

Merry: I think we need a new picture.

Pippin: Oh, I don't know. I like this one. I'm in it.

Me: Too bad, Pippin.

http://i47.tinypic.com/mvnlab.jpg

[Hookbill the Goomba]

The Witch King refused to acknowledge the fact that he'd picked up a torch instead of a sword.

OR

WK: OH! ME SIR! ME SIR! I KNOW! I KNOW! I KNOW!!

[Glirdan]

Nazgul: My fire sword is better then yours!! :p
or

The upgraded lightsaber of fire!

or

Nazgul: The Shire's this way!!

Other Nazgul: Uh...no...that's up....

Nazgul: I knew I shouldn't have had those Brownies that were especially made in the South Farthing.....next time we order from Isengard!! Ooooo!! Look!! Butterfly!!

[Loslote]

Nazgul: This is demeaning!

Sauron: Nonsense! The Lady of Liberty is honored.

Nazgul: Lady?? Of Liberty??? Why me? Faramir would make much more sense...

[Formendacil]

The forces of Evil could never, ever create anything new, only produce pale mockeries.... even of national symbols. You knew things were bad when Sauron erected a "Statue of Liberty" in Nurnen harbour.

[Mnemosyne]

DM: "YOU CAN'T USE A LIGHTSABER! IT'S NOT EVEN THE RIGHT SYSTEM!!"

WK's player: "I see no light saber. That would be a copyright infringement. I see a psionic spear-blade."

[Inziladun]

His lord Sauron was jealous, so the Witch-king vowed this would be his last advertising spot for Greyhame's Goodenough Goblin-sparklers.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

For some reason, The Witch King's candy floss just wasn't selling.

OR

WK: What was that thing Sauron said about putting your finger in a plug socket? I think it was DO IT. So I'll just AAAAAAGH!!!

OR EVEN...

WK: Who did this to my sword? Is this your idea of a joke? These things aren't cheap, y'know!

[Loslote]

WK: Hey, Ben Franklin did it!

Sauron: That was with a kite. And it didn't go so well for him, either.

WK: Well, this is Middle Earth, so I'm sure it'll be --

Sauron: Even worse?

WK: Yup.

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Wow! These Ronson lighters are cool.
Now if someone would just invent cigarettes or cigars
instead of those hobbit pipes.

[Bes]

Anchorman: Today, we've switched out the Witch King of Angmar's regular decaf blend of coffee with Ork brand Red Kafeen Kristuls! Let's see if he notices.

WK: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUHG!

[Parmastahir]

WK: "Crap!"

Tries again.

WK: "Double CRAP!!"

Tries a final time.

WK: "I GIVE UP!!! Someone make me a s'more!!!!"

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Originally "Lord of the Rings" took place during the Olympics.

[The Elf-warrior]

The tenth Slipknot member.

[Glirdan]

WK: Noooooooooooooo!!!! I will burn you all before another picture is put up!!

http://thecia.com.au/reviews/l/images/lord-of-the-rings-1-3.jpg


The ORIGINAL cast of "Lost"

[Inziladun]

Sam: 'That's right Mr. Frodo! We'll give them singing chipmunks what for!'

[Loslote]

Frodo: Why didn't anyone tell me my hair looked like that??

[Eönwë]

To the Hobbits' dismay, Gandalf uncloaks yet again.

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Those Rivendell elves boyfriends said they'd do WHAT
with this sword to Merry and Pippin just because they
got really friendly at Elrond's toga party!

[Parmastahir]

Sam: "Is that a sword in your hand or are you just happy to see me, Mr. Frodo."

Pippin: "I think it's time to break up this fellowship!"

[The Elf-warrior]

Sam: "Cheer up, Mr. Frodo. You can't win if you don't try, my gaffer always used to say."

[Eönwë]

Pippin steps in something sticky.

[Formendacil]

The trouble with taking Hobbits on a major quest was that they were easily distracted by shiny or moving objects.

Pippin: "Squirrel!"
Merry: "Squirrel!"
Frodo: "Shiiiiiiiny!"
Sam: "Squirrel!"

[Parmastahir]

or we need a new picture!

Pippin: "Aaauuggghhh!"

Merry: "Dum de dum doo doo, errrr . . ."

Frodo: "eh eh eh eh"

Sam: "I told you not look when Gandalf is uncloaking!"

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

The photographer despaired at the attempts of the latest Middle-earth boy band to appear 'aloof'.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Frodo had noticed that Gandalf seemed even older, more tired these days; he was taking a very long time to uncloak, anyway.

[Meela]

Unsuccessful Hobbit invention #314: The human compass.

Frodo: My sword definitely points north!
Merry: No, mine says north...
Sam: Two norths?! Is it some sort of dark magic at work?
Pippin: But we just came from the north... this is stupid.

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Frodo was the first person ever to be hypnotized by a sword.

[narfforc]

Sam: I told you not to go and follow Mr Merry again, He always getting Lost.

[narfforc]

Sean Astin:- Now remember what that nice Mr Jackson told us, 'Don't damage The Ringwraiths clothing', as he wants to hire it out to The Dementors in the next Potty Harry movie.

[Parmastahir]

Help! We need a new picture! This one has been up since February. Please, precioussss!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Okay then...

http://www.herr-der-ringe-film.de/v3/media/galerie/herrderringe/bilder06/Theoden_dg.jpg

Theoden: These new pants are a little too big... And Horse shaped...

OR

Thoeden refused to admit he failed his horse riding test...

[Inziladun]

The Rohirrim's inability to fashion weight-training equipment led to some odd improvisations.

[Loslote]

Theoden soon realizes the problems involved with using a horse as a blanket.

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Snowmane: "Oh right. Great plan, kingy. Just charge right
into a humongous army led by a pteradactyl riding nazgul.
What could possibly go wrong? Next time I get a wizard
rider. I should have listened to my mother. Go north, young
horse, to Bree, she said. But no, I had to...."

Thedoen: "Will you shut up. I'm dying here!"

[narfforc]

'I'm supposed to take the saddle off when you are standing, not when you've lain down Snowmane!'



or




The untimely Death of Theoflat Edskew

[Glirdan]

Theoden: This wasn't in the drivers manual!

or

Theoden: You know, this could be a very relaxing day, laying here in the sun, no clouds. Too bad this horse is laying on me!

Snowmane: I have a name you know! :(

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

"A horse! A horse! My kingdom for a- Curse you, ironic genie!"