Crazy Captions

[Glirdan]

The village was getting ready for a mass lynching.

[The Perky Ent]

Eomer: Yes! I'm movin up the corporate ladder!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Guy in front of Aragorn: He, he! I'm in the Film! Hurrah!

OR

Guy with white beard behind Legolas: Hmm, Funerals are dull; I think I'll go to sleep.

OR

Théoden just stepped in something.

[Anguirel]

Millions of protestors marched to Barad Dur to petition against Sauron and his craven ally Saruman's unprovoked invasion of Harad...

[HerenIstarion]

Legolas: I wish all these 'sturdy men' would have taken a bath before setting out...

[Lalwendë]

Aragorn starts to feel stressed when he notices the length of the queue for the Beer Tent at the Gondorbury Festival.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Only seconds later did all these men realise that the concrete on the road had not set yet. :D

Or

Gandalf: It’s a bit quiet isn't it? Can't we move on a bit faster? My legs hurt! I want some food! Eowyn, have you gained weight? Théoden, you look like you’re about to cry!

Théoden: This is a funeral march.

Gandalf: ... ... ... ah...

[Elennar Starfire]

Legolas: Someone farted...
Aragorn: My sword is heavy...
Theoden: Zzzzz...
Rohirrim in middle: Hope no-one notices...
Rohirrim at left: *hums off-key*
Old man behind Theoden: I wonder if this new hairstyle makes my head look fat...
Gandalf: *about to smack Rohirrim in front of him* Just had to eat all the beans, didn't you?

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Legolas (thinking): Why is Abraham looking at me?

[Oddwen]

The Host: We want BRAINS!

Or...

And as the host rode along to their deaths, they sang a cheerful chorus of "Tra-la-la-lally" and crushed the daisies beneath them..

[The Perky Ent]

Man in the center of the crowd: Mosh Pitt!!!!

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Creepy guy behind Aragorn (thinking): Is this the line to Hogwarts?

[Ainaserkewen]

Legolas: Who touched me?

[Gil-Galad]

Legolas: thank goodness there are witnesses this time when gandalf goes creepy uncle on us

[Gil-Galad]

Legolas: thank goodness there are witnesses this time when gandalf goes creepy uncle on us

[Lalwendë]

Stony faces all round as bad light stops play.

[Bêthberry]

All together now:

"We must go down to the seas again,
to the lonely sea and the sky,
And all we ask is a tall ship
and a star to steer her by,
And the wheel's kick and the wind's song
and the white sail's shaking,
And a grey mist on the sea's face
and a grey dawn breaking."

OR:

"If we go out in the woods today
We're sure of a big surprise.
If we go out in the woods today
We'd better go in disguise.

For every 'urk that ever there was
Will gather there for certain, because
Today's the day the Uruk-hai have their picnic."

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

A lady walks past the building site.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Gandalf wondered weather to tell the soldier that his helmet was coming to life.

Or

Gandalf: Oh, I uncloak one time and this is what happens?

Aragorn: What do you mean, 'one' time?

Gandalf: erm... *whistles*

[The Only Real Estel]

Everyone knew that the Narnia movie was going to be good, but the turn out in Rohan was unprecedented.

[Boromir88]

The villagers flock to the public stoning...

Legolas: Wonder if anyone can see through my manly disguise...

[CaptainofDespair]

Aragorn is trying to ignore his sword, which is now talking to him.

Aragorn: *mutters* No, I can't. I won't.
Sword: Yes, you know you wanna.
Aragorn: No, I won't kill Theoden just to become King.
Sword: But as King of Rohan and Gondor, you can have both Arwen and Eowyn.
Aragorn: I'm not listening!!!

[The Perky Ent]

Sleeping soldier staring at audience: I make more money sleeping than you do in a year's paycheck!

[The Only Real Estel]

The waiting list for Werewolf 10 bordered on jinormous. :eek:

[Alcarillo]

Aragorn: Are we there yet?

[Anguirel]

The evil chimpanzee disguised as a Rider on the far right adjusts his helmet and readies his throwing knife for Theoden's neck...

[Boromir88]

The crowd flocks in the same direction.

Gandalf: What's all the hub-bub?
Aragorn: A new pic!

http://img-nex.theonering.net/images/scrapbook/11494.jpg

PJ: Inconceivable!

Gimli: I'll cut off your head if you say that one more time.

or...

While Jackson vents his frustration against Gandalf (uncloaking, what else?) Gimli sees dinner.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

While Jackson gets his hand trapped in a strange contraption, Gimli sneaks some of P-J's tic-tacs into his belt.

[dancing spawn of ungoliant]

PJ: Eww... :eek:
Gimli: You couldn't seriously think that dwarves just spring out of holes in the ground?!

[Anguirel]

Gimli son of Gloin is entrusted with the quest of guarding PJ night and day and forcing him to remake the films 100% accurately...

[mormegil]

Gimli doesn't take too kindly to this strange man's hand gesture.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

When looking at a photo album, you need to be careful what you say.

Pj: HA ha ha! Look at that guy there! He's got a really stupid beard and look, he's fatter than me!!

Gimli: That’s my mother.

[CaptainofDespair]

Gimli had enough. Sure, he could take being turned into the Jar Jar Binks of the movie, but not this. Peter Jackson had cut off the head to his wooden horsey, when he was still riding it.

[Gurthang]

Gimli, while sitting amongst the tents of the Rohirrim, turns suddenly to find a strange man sitting beside him. Bizarre, those Rohan folk are.

OR

PJ: "Now this is important: I want you to bumble around like an idiot and act all defensive when Legolas kicks your butt at everything. Oh, and you lose at drinking."
Gimli(thinking and clearly not paying attention): "Is that some grey hair?"

OR

PJ: "No, it's mine, I tell you!"
Gimli: "Oh, yeah, well prove it!
PJ: "Look, it's even got my name on it!"
Gimli: "Oh, so now you think that you can have anything if you just stick your name onto it!"

OR

PJ tries desparately to explain that Gimli just does not ax Legolas.
PJ: "Come on! You gotta keep to the script!"

OR

PJ can't take it anymore and tries to eat the donut on the TV screen.

OR

PJ (shaking finger and screaming):"Ow! You bit my finger!"
Gimli: "Well, that's what happens when you point it in my face!"

[mormegil]

Peter: AHA! See I have video evidence of you stealing my donut! That's why I'm now labeling everything that's mine.

[Bêthberry]

Jackson is unable to contain his glee over beating John Rhys-Davies--who is clearly not amused--at Runescape.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Jackson finds some rare video evidence of Aragorn having a wash... it was many ages old.

OR

After five days, Jackson finally works out the rules of "Where’s Wally?"

OR yet!

Gimli: So it’s the hair that controls him...

Or yet further

Jackson is surprised at who won at Cricket! ;)

[Kitanna]

Gimli: Werewolf?
PJ: There wolf...
Gimli: What?
PJ: Sorry, I thought you wanted to talk like that.

or

John's Brain: I wonder if eating his brains is against the Screen Actors Guild...

[Oddwen]

While PJ prattled on about how Gimli should greet Arwen when she arrived at the Paths of the Dead, John Rhys-Davies suddenly spots the drill that he held the bit to.

Or...

John: Psst, PJ...don't look now, but the bagpipes are back.

Or...

This must be one of those fanfictions where a random LotR character is zapped into the Real World.

[The Saucepan Man]

Jackson: Just look at that, John! 2 hours of filming ruined by a sodding extra!

Man in barrel: Can I come out now? I promise to take my digital watch off this time ...

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Saucepan, you gave me an idea

Peter: So you see, no one leaves the room. So that means the murderer is still in here... ... ... ...

Guy in barrel: *gulp*

[HerenIstarion]

... What is he babbling about? I've had enough of it, this camping life in the woods drives me mad... Not a proper bath in ages, this barrel is no good, not at all, everybody looking, not a proper way to wash ... Wait a minute! Was it a louse I just saw wriggling in Peter's hair? Brrr... it's disgusting.... Should I bang it with an ax?... Should I shave? Talk to screenplay author first thing in the morning, hope they could rewrite some or other episode so this Gimli character would get rid of this beard... It's unhygienic... Whoa! Another one! Should I bang it with an ax?... Should I shave?... Should he shave?...

[Mithalwen]

JRD realises he has spent most of the past four years alternating between the make up caravan and the dermatology clinic in order that Gimli will be a ginger PJ clone. Consequently he knows exactly what his motivation is for the next scene...

[The Elf-warrior]

John Rhys-Davies: "Shut up and quit babbling about Orcish choreography! Don't you dare even consider including that product placement for Jack Daniels whisky!"

[Glirdan]

JRD: Ok let me get this straight. You want me to teach the orcs, breakdancing!?!?!?

[Alcarillo]

John Rhys-Davies has decided upon tonight's victim, while PJ accuses the electronics of werewolvery.

[The Perky Ent]

Gimli took notes as he watched Peter Jackson lynch the remaining in swankytown

[The Only Real Estel]

PJ: "Get some more short jokes in this #@*%$ script!!!"

JRD (thinking): Prosthetics issues aside I'm really beginning to regret signing up for this role!

[THE Ka]

PJ: Whoaza! Look that that scene! Five times less dialog and twice the action! Oh, look! There's legolas pulling a really non-elven move down the stairway and look, you're hitting your head against the wall as a unique form of dwarvish self-defense incorporated with your secret name!!!

G: I really shouldn't do spin-off sequels with hollywood elves and dwarves...

~ Aesthete

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Gimli was not happy about being swore at! :D

Or

P-J: Who is that?!

Gimli: That's Gandalf, sir.

P-j: What's he doing?

Gimli: He's just standing there.

P-j: Why isn't he uncloaked like I told him?

Gimli: SO you're responsible for this? :mad:

[SamwiseGamgee]

As PJ describes the elves arrival at Helm's Deep to save the day, JRD knows what he must do to PJ and his 'artistic licence'.
JRD: "For the Professor!"

[The Only Real Estel]

JRD (thinking): That's one huge spider in PJ's hair, I wonder if I should tell him? No, he'd probably just freak out if I did...still, that's gigantic, I-oops it bit him.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

P-j: Who is that?

Gimli: It's "Sir not-appearing-in-this-film" or "Tom Bombadill" as we call him.

[CaptainofDespair]

Peter Jackson proves to John Rhys-Davies that he has lost weight since his childhood.

John: Dear lord, Peter! Is that you next to the world's largest pumpkin?!
PJ: No, I was the world's largest pumpkin...

[The Only Real Estel]

The actors always hated it when PJ and his wife/fellow screenwriter Fran started fighting via satellite.

[Gil-Galad]

Gimli: you'll make nice for a dwarf women

PJ: What! No! Aaaaah!

[Boromir88]

PJ: Hey look at this picture. I still can't believe I didn't cut this from the Regular edition!

http://img-nex.theonering.net/movie/preview/images/trailer02_135.jpg

Aragorn runs into the camerman...
PJ: CUT!!!!

or...

Legolas: I think I'm gonna need more arrows.
Boromir: Thankyou Captain obvious.

or...

Boromir: Come on guys. If we stick together we can take 'em.
Aragorn: Right with you :whispers: Let's go!
Merry: (snickers) We're right behind you buddy.
Pippin: Ya. Don't worry.

or...

Merry's had a bit too many.

[Kitanna]

Aragorn: We can find Gandalf in the mysterious Castle of Uuugghhh.
Merry: Ooooooo!!
Boromir: It's aaaugggghhh, from the back of the throat.
Merry: No, ooooooo, as in surprise and alarm.
Boromir: Oh so more of an "Ahhhh"
Merry: Yes, Ahhhhhh!

[Boromir88]

Or how about the old...

Aragorn runs into Frodo who happened to be wearing Gimli's Helmet.

[mormegil]

Despite being heavily guarded, Merry sees a side of Aragorn he never wished to and was stopped dead in his tracks.

[Alcarillo]

Boromir: Look, they got Frodo . . .
Aragorn: Keep running!

(There are only three hobbits. Count 'em.)

[Kitanna]

Merry witnesses Aragorn killing Glorfindel so Arwen can have a bigger part...

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

As the Hunter, the Seer, and the Ranger turn their backs, the three Hobbits turn into Werewolves!

[The Only Real Estel]

The PJ pic:

The long-dead Peter Jackson can't hold it in any longer as he watches the proceedings of his first werewolf game...

PJ: "No! It's not him! It's her! She's the one that killed me! Why are you all such bloody stupid villagers!?"

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Gimli resists the temptation to use the ax on the spider crawling up PJ's head.

[THE Ka]

In the fellowship, Merry was as of yet the only one comprehending the existance of the video camera that seemed to follow them everywhere... And he loved it...


~ Aesthete

[Gurthang]

Aragorn and Merry simultaneously step into separate piles of poop.

OR

Merry: "OooH! Look, it's a pixelized Aragorn!"

OR

Boromir: "Oh, look: we've run into some old friends."
Legolas: "Hey, isn't that a line from Star Wars?"

OR

Merry does his best goldfish impression.

OR

Boromir: "Uh-oh. Pippin, distract them!"
Legolas: "A diversion!"

[The Perky Ent]

Unfortunatly, Merry didn't see the horn of Gondor tied to Boromir, banged into it, and passed out.

---or---

Aragorn: Wait a minute...why aren't the orcs chasing us anymore?
Legolas: I feel like we're not in Rivendell anymore
Boromir: Thank you captain obvious!
Merry: Where is Frodo?
Pippin: Where is Sam?
Everyone: Where's Gimli?!?

***meanwhile, back at the orcs***
Gimli: Ok, here's how it will work. Now, you come at me, and i'll hit you, and then you come at me and i'll hit you, and then you come at me and i'll hit you. Any questions?
Orcs: um....truce? :smokin:

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Aragorn: Merry, Pippin. Whatever you do, don't turn around!

Merry: What is it?

Aragorn: It's Gandalf...

Merry: I see... :eek:

OR

Aragorn: STOP EVERYTHING!

Boromir: What is it?

Aragorn: I've just realised something... ... I think I need a bath...

OR

Aragorn just stepped on a hedgehog.

[Lalwendë]

There was only one toilet at Amon Hen.

Boromir: "Whoa! What's the rush for? My chicken stew wasn't that bad, was it?!"

[Bêthberry]

The guys get a bit carried away with goosing each other.

[Boromir88]

Boromir and Legolas: What are we going to do with all these orcs?
Aragorn: I don't know, but...TAG, you're it! Ha.
Merry: OOOOHHH, Go, Go, Faster.

[The Only Real Estel]

At the Orcish Conservitory of Breakdance...

Lurtz (offscreen): "Merry, wipe that stupid expression off your face and stop flailing your arms-ugggh! Breakdancing is an art, not a way for you to express your crazy side, ugggh!"

[Morsul the Dark]

Merry:I can't believe you took my soap!
Aragorn:Here you go again
Merry:Where'd you put it?! You don't even use it!
Aragorn:Then why would I take it try pretty boy over there!

Middle-Earth: the Real World, tensions are beginning to rise

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Merry sees the giant slug on Aragorn's back! :eek:

OR

Merry: Its... Its... Its... Tom Bombadill! I thought you weren’t in this film!

Or yet!

Aragorn finds the glass elevator.

Or, yet further,

Aragorn Falls over a sleeping Gimli.

[Mithalwen]

Merry (Singing): Brave Sir Strider ran away
Strider: No!
Merry (Singing): Bravely ran away away
Strider: I didn't!
Merry (Singing): When danger reared its ugly head,
He bravely turned his tail and fled
Strider: No!
Merry (Singing): Yes Brave Sir Strider turned about
Strider: I didn't!
Merry (Singing): And gallantly he chickened out
Bravely taking to his feet
Strider: I never did!
Merry (Singing):He beat a very brave retreat
Strider: Oh, lie!
Merry (Singing): Bravest of the brave Sir Strider

[Glirdan]

Merry: So that's what a werewolf looks like before he turns into a wolf.

[The Only Real Estel]

Having dealt with more than his share of the orcs, Aragorn turned his attention to the paparrazi. (sp?)

[Gil-Galad]

Sapceballs LOTR style

Aragorn= Dark Helmet

Pippin= Lone Star

Aragorn: he did it

Pippin: what! liar!


{may the swartz be with you}

[Oddwen]

Boromir: Look, Denethor is catching up! (Look, it is Denethor!)

Or...

Merry knew it was a stupid idea to tie his belt to Aragorn's. Especially when the Ranger wanted to go faster than the Hobbit could physically hope to.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Pippin: A'm gomma vomik.

Merry: Not here! Face that way!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Aragorn: Uuugggghhh!

Merry: Sounds like you've got indigestion!

Aragorn: Yeah! Uuuggghhh!

Merry: Then you need, ind-a-way! It’s new from Merry-inc! Just rub it on your fore head and feel that indigestion melt away!

Aragorn: Now I can fight Orcs all day! Thanks Ind-a-way! :cheesy grin:

[Lalwendë]

One for Brits ;)

Scenes of panic on Tuesday as news reaches the Fellowship that the Amon Hen Esso has just had a delivery of Unleaded.

[The Only Real Estel]

By the time Merry had noticed the line of Elven ladies going through the woods Aragorn was already sprinting off!

[Gurthang]

Aragorn stares in amazement. He has finally found the Ultra-rare Merry Pepper Mill! (If you don't look too hard, Merry is in front of Aragron and is tiny.)

OR

Boromir(thinking): "No one's watching. Now I can kill Legolas, and then I will be the prettiest!" :rolleyes:

OR

Merry stops dead in his tracks. Aragorn just got knocked out by a rogue bowling ball(which is rolling down his back). :D

[The Only Real Estel]

Werewolf Merry gloats over another innocent villager hung while the remaining villagers go their seperate ways in panic...

Merry: "Oooh, that was a nice loud snap! You could hear that loud & clear all the way over hear! *Snap*, *crackle*, *pop*, cha-ching!"

[Glirdan]

Aragorn got Legolas and Boromir to cover his back while he makes off with the Hobbit statues.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Merry: C'mon! Run! What are you standing around there for?

Aragorn: I lost my marbles!

[The Perky Ent]

PJ: Ok, and the next shot we're filming tomrrow...


http://www.brego.net/upphotos/galleryimage_image_321.jpg

Man in the back: Yes! Hama lives again!

Rohirrim in front: Wow! I can't believe i'm actually looking at the legendary Lego- Oh my God! YOU POKED MY EYE OUT WITH YOUR ARROW!!!

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Obviously, Legolas is the rose among the thorns!

[Gurthang]

Announcer: "Well, it looks like a lovely day for a horse-race, folks. Our two big rivals are lining up at the start. Legolas son of Thrandruil and Brone son of Grone. Brone is the hometown favourite, hailing from nearby Whitmine. Legolas has traveled all the way from the northern reaches of Mirkwood to participate in this race. Oh, and betting ends in five minutes; race in ten."

OR

Legolas: "Man this stinks!"
Other Guy: "Sorry, I do need a shower."

OR

Legolas: "I'm telling you, I'm a huge girl-magnet!"
Other Guy: "No. I think they'll go for the rugged, out-doorsy look."
Legolas: "Oh... so you've met Aragorn, I see."

OR

The entire army is dumbfounded and stupified by the new weapon of the enemy: Modern Art.
Other Guy: "Hmmm... I don't get it?"
Legolas: "Looks like a few squashed spiders on a piece of canvas to me."
Another Guy: "No! Clearly it is a depiction of our struggle in this world. How we cannot find our place among such chaos and insanity. It really brings to mind how one must look within to discover oneself. Look how the ink runs in this place. Certainly that shows that some of us know the truth, and therefore have a definite direction for our lives."
Legolas and Other Guy: :eek:

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Legolas: Is it just me, or is an angry mob behind us?

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Legolas: I cannot believe this! I'm all for going to the Black gate to over throw Sauron, but how can we be respectable when half of the people are in Rohan rags and the other half in Gondor garb? No one matches! It's just not fashionable!

Guy on left: Now I see why Thranduil let him go on this dangerous, he-is-certain-to-be-killed, mission.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

A Legolas Look-alike Contest.

[dancing spawn of ungoliant]

The Free Men of West had had enough with Gandalf.

or

The tribe had spoken...

[Bêthberry]

Legolas contemplates how different this Rohirrim form of riding is from riding sidesaddle.

[Son of Númenor]

Legolas: Ugh, it's like traveling with 1,000 medieval Andy Weils.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Legolas grew impatient: didn't Sauron know that he burned easily in the Sun?

[Anguirel]

BROWN HORSE: Arod! What are you doing with that on your back?

AROD: Humiliating, isn't it. The things I've been through since Broethnorg bought it...

[Boromir88]

Gimli enjoys smelling Legolas' hair.

or...

(Army Assembles together).

PJ: Ok, this is what I want. I want you guys to all go jump off a cliff. It will show your fear when seeing the Orc army and you will be driven into a maddening rage.

Legolas: I object

Rohan Man: Give us an extra 50 bucks.

PJ: Deal.

Legolas: Hey guys. I thought we were going to stay together.

Rohan Man: Listen prancy guy. We're not some mult-million dollar hot shot like you. We'll jump off a cliff for 50 bucks.

[Gurthang]

Legolas can only hope that his army of cardboard cut-outs looks intimidating.

OR

Somebody just pointed out Legolas' receding hairline. Somebody's gonna get it.

OR

Legolas doesn't particularly like Gimli sleeping on him.

[Glirdan]

Guy on left: Ok. This is how it's going to work. Aragorn's going to take the right hill along with Gandalf, Gimli, Legolas and some of the Gondorians. Eomer will be taking the right along with Imrahil with the rest of the soliders. Does everyone got that???

Legolas: We're going to go attack Sauron to be a deiversion for Frodo who is now in Mordor and I'm going to be fighting with Aragorn and Gimli and Gandalf!!! :D

Guy on right: :eek:

Guy on left: :rolleyes:

[Boromir88]

Aragorn: (to Legolas) We shall attack at once.

Legolas: Of course my liege.

(And army magically appears)
Aragorn: (To Castle Auggg) Sauron persons, today the blood of many a brave knight shall be avenged! In the name of Eru, we shall not stop our fight till every one of you lies dead, and the Holy Grail returns to those who Eru Himself has chosen! (to Army) Charge!

Mouth of Sauron's Wife: That's him right there. That's the guy!

(Police arrest Aragorn).

Police: Ok, that's enough sonny, take off.

Rohan Man: Let's go home guys.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Legolas: I hate this job.

Bert: Yeah, its terrible hours. All this dashing about and fighting.

Legolas: You can't move out of line, can't eat when you are hungry and this guy on my back is doing my brain in!


[Legolas was the name of the horse :D ]

[Lalwendë]

A large queue builds up behind Legolas while he searches his 142 different pockets for some spare change at the tollbooth.

[Kitanna]

Legolas: I am far too pretty for this...
Rider: I am sure my sword would look pretty stuck in your face...

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Gimli: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, ... 12 arrows. You are going to kill 10,000 Orcs with 12 arrows?

Legolas: Well, I did kill 41 at Helms Deep, and then I only had three arrows.

Gimli: ... how... what... erm... :confused:

[Mithalwen]

Legolas and the riders wonder why the foot soldiers are taller then them....

[Boromir88]

Legolas: What's that launched in the air heading right at us?

Rohan Man: You have the elf-eyes sir, but it looks like a large wooden jackrabbit.

Legolas: Are you sure it's not a badger?

[The Only Real Estel]

Legolas tries but fails to quell the obviousness rising inside of him...

Legolas: "We stink of horse...."

[Gil-Galad]

Rohirrm: are we there yet?

Legolas: no...

Rohirrim: are we there yet?

Legolas: NO...

Rohirrim: are we there yet?

Legolas: look if you say that one more time i'll stab your eyes out!

Rohirrim:....have we reached our current destination?

Legolas: Arrrgghh!!!

[The Perky Ent]

Legolas: You have my bow

Rohan soldier: Really? Wow! I don't know what to say!

Legolas: Psyke! Heh! You should have seen your face

Rohan: Where's an army of orcs when I need one?

Army of Orcs: *wave*

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Brone: You really sure we could enter that new pub?

Legolas: Sure, all I have to do is flash my ID. . . darn, where is it?

[Glirdan]

This is what Legolas would do if he found 200, 000 orcs on his doorstep.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Legolas: Ai! A new picture!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v604/hukbillgoomba/gandalf-minastirith.jpg

Gandalf reads the Gondor Newspaper Headlines

“Roasted Steward Swallows Orc”

Or

“Toad-faced Child Eaten By Nervous Gran”

Or

“’I’m Proud To Be black’ Claims Confused Orc activist”

Or

“’No More Dinner’ Requests Swollen Hobbit”

Or

“Balrog Deflates After Unexpected Piercing”

Or

“Unlikely Duo Become Best Friends After Owl Trauma”

Or

“Swollen Hobbit: ‘I’ve Had Enough’”

Or

”’Dalek-esque Torturer Felt My face With Prong’ claims Frodo after night of pipe weed.”

[The Perky Ent]

Gandalf: Here follows the account of Isildur, 3434 of the Second Age. Gondorian army - $4380000
Trebuchet - $23000
Hanging out with your friends - $Priceless

Blech! No wonder those orcs killed him *kicks giant statue of Isildur on his way out of Minas Tirith*

[Kitanna]

Gandalf: Oh it's only three hobbit feet, not four. No wonder my stew tasted so terrible.

[Glirdan]

Gandalf: So Balrog's DO have wings!!!

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Gandalf ponders the mystery of who sent him this Valentine; mysterious not least because it arrived in September. :p

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Gandalf: The Phantom gunned down in Shock-Shot-Horror? (http://forum.barrowdowns.com/showthread.php?p=411745#post411745)

[The Perky Ent]

Gandalf: Hmm...what's this?

~*~ The Life of Eru ~*~
A memoir


Hmm....yes.....oh that will be good...yes...oh I did not just go there!

[Bêthberry]

Gandalf: "This fanfiction stuff is terrible. Shadow of the West my ring! It didn't at all happen like that. Entish Bows and Lonely Stars! Why, it's all just an ocassion for ... for... *sputters anathemas* How on earth could Tom let those wights get away with this kind of stuff on the Barrow Downs? He's been spending too much blasted time with Goldberry I'll warrent. *sputters some more deprecations too unsuitable for the site*"

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

The Su Doku bug hits Middle-earth.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Gandalf wished now he had not offered to pay the bill for the Hobbits to eat at Minas Tirith's only 5-star resturant.

[Mithalwen]

Gandalf receives a fixed-penalty notice for speeding ....

[Glirdan]

Gandalf just got his eviction notice. He's been kicked out... of ARDA!!!!!

[Gurthang]

Gandalf has a heart attack when he gets his room service bill.

OR

Using a hidden camera, someone caught Gandalf looking at a copy of Playboy.

OR

Ian does not like the looks of the new script:
Ian: "I DON'T come back to life! You cut me from TTT and RotK! You can't DO that!"

OR

Gandalf has a test tomorrow... actually today, since he's up so late studying!

[Alcarillo]

Gandalf reads Saruman's diaries.

Gandalf: *giggle*snicker*

[Kitanna]

Using a hidden camera, someone caught Gandalf looking at a copy of Playboy.
Featuring Eowyn: Horse Mistress!

or

Gandalf is sick and tried of taunting letters from the hobbits. "I smell like a what?"

[Lalwendë]

Gandalf tries to figure out his new Council Tax bill.


OR


The new supply teacher at Hogwarts had to stay up late marking all those two-foot-long Potions essays that Snape had set.


OR


It was Gandalf's turn to work out who owed what on the quarterly phone bill.

Gandalf: "Saruman! Have you been making long distance calls to Eru again?"

Saruman: "You can blame Radagast for those Premium Rate calls! He's been trying to get on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire again!"

[Gil-Galad]

ha... that will probaly be my father once he gets the phone bill after me and Lily have been talking...


*Alright, now i've received another unsigned bad rep about this post! Gandalf equals my dad, THATS THE CAPTION!!!*

Gil-Galad: that will probaly be my father once he gets the phone bill after me and Lily have been talking...

Gandalf: Wha!!!!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Gandalf's tax-returns.

Gandalf *reading*: "Did your none-returnable outgoings for the first half of the year exceed your payment for quarterly V.A.T?" WHAT? What does that mean? "If you live in a council flat, by a river but are not... blind!" WHAT? This makes no sense!

OR

Gandalf receives a notification of lynching.
"Dear Gandalf, we, the villagers, regret to inform you that you will be lynched tomorrow morning. Sorry if you're not a wolf. Love, the villagers."

OR yet!

Gandalf: How did they get these pictures of me uncloaked?

Everyone else: *cough* yeah, it’s a mystery.

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Gandalf: OK now, if the CDU and the FDP would cooperate with the Greens, they could form a government alliance under a new chancellor. On the other hand, if the FDP would decide to cooperate with the SPD and Greens after all, the current chancellor could remain in charge. But if only two parties ally, it would have to be the two biggest, and who would then be chancellor? Oh, these multi-party political systems are so confusing! Why is there no MapQuest for politics?!

[Gurthang]

Parchment: "Dear Sir,

We regret to inform you that your request to enter the Wizard's Guild has been denied.
Only people having a degree from Hogwarts, who have had training at the Jedi Academy,
or are in connection to the Washington Wizard team are allowed to become members.
We are sorry to dissapoint you, but your rules are clear.

Most Sincerely,
Wizard's Guild"

OR

Gandalf has received an eviction notice. Reason neighborhood complaints about his 'streaking tendencies'.

OR

Gandalf: "Yes, I did follow the directions correctly, but how did I end up here? This blasted map lead me into a basement?! Ohh! I Hate MapQuest!"

[Kath]

How to get to Neverneverland:

1) Find a fairy and shake it over your head until fairy dust falls on you.
2) Think happy thoughts
3) Look for the second star on the right
4) Fly straight on til morning.

Gandalf: Aha! So it was Isildur that wrote Peter Pan! I knew that J. M. Barrie story sounded familiar!

[THE Ka]

Gandalf recieves another denied invitation addressed to a certain 'Gandoof'.

G: Wow. This 'Gandoof' has real relation problems... A bit of a brown-noser if you ask me...

~ Aesthete

[Boromir88]

Gandalf: What's this, they're banning me from Valinor because I can't keep my cloak on. Inconcievable!

[Oddwen]

"See Arwen. See Arwen run.
See Aragorn. See Aragorn run.
See Aragorn and Arwen. See Aragorn and Arwen smooch. Smooch smooch smooch.
See Elrond run. See Elrond run for his bow. Run, Aragorn. Run, Arwen. Run run run."

Or...

Gandalf the remaining Sherriff pores over the last letter his colleague left him...

Or...

This Isildur fellow may have been King...but his spelling is horrendous! "Mi preshusss, lolol!!!!!" And what is this strange inscription... " (sp?) "??!?

[Formendacil]

Gandalf reads the Obituaries:

Olorin

0, 1st Age - 3019, 3rd Age

Known to his friends as Gandalf, Mithrandir, Tharkun, Incanus, the Grey Pilgrim, the Grey Wanderer, Stormcrow, and Lathspell, Olorin of Valinor passed away January 25th, 3019 T.A. in the Long Term Care Unit of the Durin IV Hospital in Khazad-dum, following a lengthy battle with Balrognoma. Olorin is survived by one brother, Curunir (Saruman), one sister, Aiwendil (Radagast), and several cousins. He was predeceased by his brothers Alatar and Pallando. Olorin's first home was in Almaren, and from there he moved to Valinor, where he continued to receive his mail until his death. There, he was employed at various times by Nienna Pity Products and Lorien Dreams Corp. At the time of his death, he was working on a secret mission for the Government in Taniquetil. Olorin was a veteran of the Melkor War I, Melkor War II, and Melkor War III, and acted as an observer during the War of Wrath. He was awarded the Grey Cloak by the Mahanaxar in 1000, 3rd Age. In Middle-Earth, he worked closely with Elrond of Rivendell and Galadriel of Lothlorien for the preservation of ancient cultures, and served a lengthy term on the White Council as Leader of the Opposition to Sauron. Olorin will be remembered for his love of wandering, his fascination with fire, and his fiery temper.

Donations can be made to the Shire Breast Cancer Foundation or a charity of one's choice.

[mormegil]

Headlines:

Arwen seen vacationing with Faramir!


Photos of Gandalf uncloacking at the Council of Elrond


Exclusive photos of Legolas without makeup!


Dwarves are alien species bent upon Middle-earth domination.


Orcs: Can't we all just get along.

[Gurthang]

Gandalf reads his daily horoscope:
Horoscope: "You will discover the Ring of Power and send it on it's way to Mount Doom."
Gandalf: "Wow, I never realized these things could be so specific!"

OR

Gandalf enjoying a tabloid:


"Studies Prove Raspberries Stop Wizards!"
Gandalf: "Proposterous! I love raspberries."


"Aragorn, Eowyn Caught Moria's Dark. Exclusive Photos."
Gandalf: "If they are in the dark, how are there pictures?"


"Using Just Pencils, Orcs Capture Osgiliath."
Gandalf: "Man, they must have really left those outer defenses!"

OR

Sometimes Gandalf just doesn't understand the Comics.

[dancing spawn of ungoliant]

There was a time when Gandalf knew every spell in all the tongues of Elves, Men and Orcs but this was just beyond his comprehension.

rOFl l4me arg brb afk ... rofl arg teh y0 wtH dude lol swt

[Kath]

Gandalf: Well I never, Aragorn was right! Uncloaking in public is illegal!

OR

Gandalf: Now, if I just change this name here and that pronoun over there, I become Isildur's heir and heir to the throne of Gondor!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Gandalf: The horoscopes are going down a little since Saruman started writing them. Here's mine:

"You are a foolish old man and wear a stupid hat and should be ashamed of yourself."

:rolleyes:

OR

Gandalf: "King talks to tree, phew what a loony" good grief, The Times has really gone down hill recently.

(Good ol' Bladder)

[Lalwendë]

Gandalf attempts to figure out how to use his new Just For Men hair dye kit. "Damn, I forgot to buy some rubber gloves!"


OR


Saruman hammers on the door. "Gandalf? Are you going to be long in there? I'm crossing my legs out here."

[Beanamir of Gondor]

Gandalf: Good grief, Denethor's phone bill is how much?!? That's it, he's got a palantir for sure.
*runs down hallway*
Denethor! Get your charred butt out here!

I'm sorry, that was really stupid.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Gandalf: Good grief! A new Picture?

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v604/hukbillgoomba/Crazy%20captions/elrond-mtdoom.jpg

Elrond: Isildur! I thought you said you'd switched the oven off!

OR

This is why you never leave the cat in at night.

[Holbytlass]

Elrond: I caught Gandalf reading my secret diary. Now look where he's at! Let that be a lesson to the rest of you!!

[Mithalwen]

Elrond: See.. I warned you what would happen if you annoyed Mithalwen..... ;)

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Elrond: So, Sauron thinks Balrogs have wings does he? *BOOM* Where are all your theories now, eh Sauron? Ha, ha, ha!

[Formendacil]

Elrond poses for his graduation portrait from the Orodruin Military Academy.

[arcticstorm]

having acquired the most votes, the village sends Elrond off to meet his fate

[Boromir88]

Elrond: (to the begging Legolas) What do you mean you don't want to go surfing down Mount Doom on the liquid, hot, MAG-ma? Panzy! It's not much different then sliding down stairs.

[CaptainofDespair]

Elrond has a stroke of genius. Orodruin Steam Baths Incorporated was going to be the most popular spa in Middle-Earth, no matter what Galadriel said.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

This is what happens when you put a metal spoon in the microwave.

OR

Elrond tried to suppress the giggles as he heard Sauron shout; "Who pulled all the labels off the tin cans?"

[Gurthang]

Elrond was never a very good chemist. Just look at the mess he made.

OR

As the mountain erupts around him, Elrond suddenly notices a nice shiny penny on the ground.

OR

Elrond(speaking to camera): "Now, this is only for highly trained professionals; Do Not try this at home."

OR

Elrond: "Don't point that finger at me; I didn't do this!"

[wilwarin538]

Elrond gives the "Fortunately/Unfortunately" thread an evil stare :mad: as Mount Zoom comes rushing towards him.

[Ainaserkewen]

Photographer elf: Can we move a little closer, my Lord? The shadows are blocking your face.

[Glirdan]

Elrond: It's a bird!! It's a plane!! Oh never mind. It's just the flames of Mount Doom. And I was really hopping it was Superman!!!!

(Corny, I know. :rolleyes: )

[The Only Real Estel]

Elrond: "You were like a brother to me Gil-galad. You were the Chosen One! It was said that you would destroy the Sith-not join them! It was you who would bring balance to the Force, not leave it in Darkness!"

Gil-galad: "What are you talking about?"

-OR-

If Elrond would've done what he should've...

Having fought with Isildur and won, Elrond took the Ring & prepared to travel up Mount Doom, leaving the wounded man to his fate.

Elrond: "It was said that you would destroy the Ring-not claim it for your own! It was you who would defeat Sauron, not refuse to!"

Isildur: "I hate you!"

Elrond: "Yoiu were like my brother, Isildur. I loved you..."

Anyways. :D

[Kitanna]

Going off of TORE...

Elrond: Give it up Isildur! I hold the high ground!

or

Elrond learns the effects of mixing Mountain Dew with nacho cheese...(seriously, horrible effect!)

[Captain Grishnahk]

WHAT SHOULD HAVE HAPPENED:

Elrond: Cast it into the fire,.... destroy it!

Isildur: Uh,...

Elrond: DESTROY IT!!!

Isildur: This is pretty...

(Quickly and without warning, Elrond draws his shining elvish blade and there is a huge battle.)

battle sequence in the firey caves of DOOM,... scary.

Finaly Elrond's adrenaline is up, and he hoists Ilildur up with his hands and he hurldes his body over the edge.

Elrond: VICTORY! AHAHAHA..uh-oops.

(Elrond sees the ring on the ground as Islidur's body is ingulfed with the lava and he slowly sinks, dieing to death (?)

Elrond looks from side to side, picks up the ring and tosses it in... he then runs away.

WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPEND THEN:::

Bilbo would have been eaten by GOLLOM

Boromir would have lived

Aragorn would have never became King, (because he would not have been born)

Arwen would go to the undieing lands, looking for a husband

Denoathor would live

Saruman would have been playing chess with Gandalf

Grishnahk would have lived longer (Orcs are IMMORTAL!!! YAYA!) :eek:

Deagul would have lived... ANY MORE?

[Oddwen]

One of Elrond's vacation pictures.

Elrond: "And this is me when...hey, Elladan, the slide is upside down again!"

Or...

Noo! Who threw my "Tooxicity" CD into the Mountain of Doom? There will be DISORDER! Oh, and Doom too.

Or...

When good Elves go bad, and how to dispose of them. More at 11.

Or...

Elrond turns his head away, as Gandalf Uncloaks for the last time and is struck by a giant fireball. And many 'Downers rejoiced. (yay.)

[Glirdan]

Elrond: And this children is what happens when you mix vinegar and baking soda.

[mormegil]

PJ had two competing ideas for the movie. For Frodo to have the dream sequence with Galadriel, the one we know. Or this alternate: Manly Elrond, in full armor looking on, with not nearly as nice a smile as Galadriel.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Elrond again tries not to laugh as he hears Sauron lament that someone swapped the labels on the shaving foam with the deodorant spray. :D

OR

Elrond: Look, Frodo, its simple! Are you listening to me? Oh for Valinor's sake, if you want something doing, do it yourself. Give me that Ring... Oh now you can get up and run after me... erm... you can slow down now...

[Lalwendë]

Elrond looks over the garden fence as fire and brimstone are spotted spewing on high behind the begonias. "Arwen! Better get the laundry off the washing line. That Balrog next door is having a barbecue again. Tch."

[Boromir88]

Elrond does a Middle-earth recruitment ad...

"This could be you! In the Elven National Guard. You can win!"

Or...

Elrond steps in a pile of dog poop while barefoot. :D

[Holbytlass]

And this children is what happens when you mix vinegar and baking soda.

Elrond: Tch! If I see another 'volcano' or 'solar system' science fair project, I'm gonna put my mean face on! I mean, come on, that is sooo first age.

[The Only Real Estel]

Elrond, the herald of Gil-Galad:

"He was not afraid to die, o Brave Sir Gil-Galad.
He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways.
Brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Gil-Galad!
He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp,
Or to have his eyes gouged out, and his elbows broken.
To have his kneecaps split, and his body burned away,
And his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Gil-Galad!
His head smashed in and his heart cut out,
And his liver removed and his bowels unplugged,
And-What!? I'm not going to say that!!"

[Morsul the Dark]

Elrond:And so this is the scene Tom the volcano is errupting right behind me as you can see most neighboring towns will be destroyed....in lighter news the Hobbits are holding their.......

Elrond follows in the footsteps of many passive not caring reporters

[The Elf-warrior]

Elrond: "Gil-Galad, is this volcanic eruption why you bid me beware the Ides of March?"

Gil-Galad: "No. Remember the fate of Luthien."

Elrond: "Nooo!"

[The Only Real Estel]

Elrond discovered the horror that was the Mordor Nudist Club.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Gandalf: Elrond! You blew up all my cloaks! Why?

Elrond: SO that you ever have to walk unclad and become a menace to society!

Gandalf: Couldn't I just meddle in all affairs, weather they be my own or not?

[The Perky Ent]

*grabs Isildur by the throat*
Elrond: Welcome to Mordor, Mr. Ander- I mean Isildur!

[The Only Real Estel]

Elrond sees Gandalf...cloaked!?

Elrond: "Hello? What's this? Forgetting your role in your old age?"

[Boromir88]

Elrond: The new picture is just over this Volcano, come.

http://img-nex.theonering.net/images/scrapbook/4950.jpg

Elrond: Once you step through that time-portal where it magically turns to daylight there will be no turning back for you.

Or...

Legolas has to pee really bad.

Or...

Gandalf: Get on with it!

[Glirdan]

The remaining villagers all gathered in front of Elrond. He was next to be lynched, by COINS!!!!!

[Alcarillo]

The Fellowship asks Elrond if he would rather step in a pile of dog poop while barefoot, or have a bird dropping fall in his hair.

[The Only Real Estel]

The angry mob prepared to kick Elrond off the island, furthering their anti-elf agenda.

[The Perky Ent]

Elrond: Wait a minute! No one is leaving Rivendell until I find out who stole...my cookie? Who stole the cookie from my cookie jar? Pippin stole the cookie from the cookie jar!
Pippin: Who me?
Elrond: Yes you!
Pippin: Couldn't be!
Elrond: Then who?
Pippin: Legolas stole the cookies from the cookie jar
*and the story continues*

or

Elrond: Alright! Who ate my cookies?!?
Pippin: It was Legolas!
Legolas: It was not!
Pippin: Look! There's the crumbs right under your feet!
Legolas: *gasp* Not idley do the crumbs from Rivendell Cookie's fall
Aragorn: We have failed them!

or

Gandalf: You cannot pass! I am the servant of the secret fire! Wilder of the flame of Anor! The dark fire shall not avail you, Flame of Udun!
Elrond: Um...It's my house? Can you let me pass?
Gandalf: What foul tounge doth thou speakith?
Elrond: :o

or


Gandalf: Halt! He who cross the gates of Rivendell must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he sees
Elrond: Ask me the questions istari, I am not afraid
Gandalf: What is your name?
Elrond: Elrond, son of Earendil
Gandalf: What is your quest?
Elrond: To seek the holy grail!
Gandalf: What...is the air speed velocity of an unlaiden Balrog?
Elrond: Well that's easy! Balrog's do not have wings, now let me pass!
Gandalf: WRONG!
*Burns Elrond to a fiery pulp*

[Kitanna]

Aragorn slowly backs away from the rest of the Fellowship, hoping to be the first to see The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe.

[Oddwen]

No no no Kitanna...it goes like this:

Aragorn backs away from the others into The Wardrobe.

[The Perky Ent]

*Aragorn dissapears into the wardrobe*
Legolas: *gasp* Aragorn is gone!
Elrond: :rolleyes: very good Legolas. Have another chew toy!

[mormegil]

Group portraits are always difficult.

Elrond: Okay we need to have everybody move in a bitter closer....there that's it....confounded Samwise please get that donkey to stop sniffing Frodo's pack...okay again I think we have it....BOROMIR will you please stop goosing Merry! Remember people this is serious we need to preserve this portrait for posterity.

[The Perky Ent]

Elrond: Nine companions. So be it! You shall be the fellowship of the ...of the...um...suggestions, anyone?
Pippin: Pipe weed!
Boromir: Minas Tirith!
Aragorn: Athelas!
Legolas: We love you Legolas Fan club!
Merry: Witch King Stabbers Anonymous
Gandalf: Nose-followers!
Gimli: Little hairy dwarven women! hehehe *falls down drunk*
Sam: Garden! ooo! ooo! Pick Garden! Mr. Frodo, tell him to pick garden
Frodo: Fellowship of the Ring?
Elrond: Hmm...after much decision, you shall be the Fellowship of the....Pipe weed! Off you go; Mordor's to the left. See you in about a year!

[Ainaserkewen]

"Am I the only one who notices that Elrond's fly is down?"

[Formendacil]

Elrond:

"And here to open the Blue Tower commemorating the Last Alliance of Elves and Men is Legolas, Prince of Mirkwood, and Boromir, Captain-General of Gondor."

[Gurthang]

Elrond looks over his completed collection of Middle-Earth Table excessories; including the Gandalf Pepper Mill, matching Merry and Pippin Salt and Pepper Shakers, and the very rare Bill the Pony Sugar Bowl.

OR

Elrond: "Aragorn, as your father-in-law to be, I would advise that you get a toupee(sp). That forehead is really getting high."

OR

An odd troop of carolers are going to sing to Elrond.

OR

Elrond: "Well, I don't care what the map says; this is Rivendell, not Rohan. The directions are wrong."
Boromir: "Ohh! I hate MapQuest!"

[Hookbill the Goomba]

As the Giant Elrond threatens the Fellowship, Gandalf prepares to use his secret weapon! :eek:

OR

Aragorn steals some food from the packs on Bill the Pony.

[The Perky Ent]

Elrond: *licks lips* Well? What are you waiting for? You gonna destory that ring, or what?
Frodo: Where is Bilbo?
Elrond: Bilbo?!? :eek: um...he...went....out...
Aragorn: Where?
Elrond: Um....I forgot
Gandalf: What are you hiding? Speak!
Elrond: Nuthin *wipes mouth*....
Sam: There's a piece of ole Bilbo's tunic in your mouth
Elrond: That's lembas. They look alike
Boromir: And there's a pipe of his lodged in your teeth
Elrond: Um....hmm....
*moment of silence*
Legolas: :eek: He ate Bilbo!
Fellowship: *sigh*

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Elrond: Food is growing short, so we're going to have to eat Bill the Pony.

Sam: :eek:

[Boromir88]

Elrond's words of encouragement...

Elrond: To Frodo, I say to you, don't die. To Legolas, don't pee in the bushes, please go use the porta john. To Merry and Pippin, drugs are bad, mmmkay. Boromir, disco is dead. Gandalf, you should already know what everyone wants you to do. Aragorn, Arwen's run off with Haldir, sorry she needed someone who could see her on a consistant basis. Gimli, umm...well....yeah, go get 'em tiger. And finally Sam, there will be a point in time when you will either have to choose between Bill the Pony or Frodo.

[Kath]

The Fellowship watch warily as Elrond grows before their eyes.

[HerenIstarion]

Elrond: You know who you are! You are no fiddlers, you are Die Bremer Musikanten! Go now and bring me capfuls of coins, or that acrobat donkey goes after dog, cat and the cockerel into the stew, promise or no promise! And make sure it is silver, I don't need coppers, understand?

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

(restaurant scene)

Elrond (to the tune of 'Toxicity): What?! You have no Chopsuey?! What about my order, my order?!

(or)

Elrond: Aren't you a bit too old to be trick-or-treating?

(or)

Elrond: You used MapQuest, didn't you? The inn is that way.

(or)

Elrond: No, I don't want to buy photos of Gandalf the Grey uncloaked.

Gandalf: Well, I never!

[Glirdan]

Following off of however said it first.

Sam: Bill took the cookie from the cookie jar!!!!
Bill: That's right!! I'm the theif!! HAHAHAHA!!!
Everyone: :eek:

[Oddwen]

Frodo: *raises hand* Um, Elrond? Question: Why do we have a life-size poseable Legolas figure instead of the real deal?

Elrond: Because this is a hopeless quest and all the Elves are leaving these shores and don't want to bother with your pathetic mortal problems anymore. Tata!

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Elrond: Sorry I was away! RL issues, see?

Frodo: Too late, we've already decided to lynch you.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Merry: So that’s where all our Ent draughts went!

OR

Pippin is the only one who sees the TARDIS materialising behind Elrond.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Gimli: Longwinded is he who says farewell in a day and a night.

Elrond: But headless is the Dwarf who dares to insult the owner of this house.

Gimli: OK, shutting up.

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Elrond practices a new song with Middle-earth's hottest boygroup:

"OK now, it goes: 'It's fun to stay at the... Laaaast Hooomely House!' "

[Mithalwen]

Not for nothing was Gandalf known as the Grey

[The Only Real Estel]

Fellowship: "Give up Elrond. All your base are belonging to us."

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Elrond introduces the NEW picture.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v604/hukbillgoomba/Crazy%20captions/buckleberry-ferry.jpg

I suppose the Hobbits did over react a little to Gandalf the Grey uncloaked!

OR

When invisible giant snakes attack!

[The Elf-warrior]

Samwise: "Don't worry! You can outrun the Black Rider! This is only a movie!"

[CaptainofDespair]

The Hobbits are booing the New York Yankees. Yes, that's right, the Hobbits are BoSox fans.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Thats one heck of a splinter in Pippin's foot! :eek:

[The Only Real Estel]

At Buckleberry Ferry - the Opera. Merry and Pippin are a bit screetchy, but Sam looks like a real pro!

[Formendacil]

Sam, Merry, and Pippin are very excited upon arriving in Neverland on their Magic Ferry...

[mormegil]

Despite the risk involved in keeping them, both Sam and Pippin were strongly opposed to Frodo leaving the mushrooms, the jettison of which would aid in his escape.

[Holbytlass]

Yo-ho Yo-ho, a pirate's life for me!!

[arcticstorm]

as the villagers watch in astonishment all three lynchees transform into wearwolves: Villagers win

[Kitanna]

The Three Hobbit Tenors

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Elrond: OK, guys, I want you all to tell my mother: 'We're sorry, but Elrond won't be coming home for a few ages.' (whispers to self)May Eru be with you.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Sam: Frodo! Did you bring the baseball bat?! No!?

Pippin: How about the ball?! Still no!?

Merry: Sheesh! What's the use of going pillaging without a bat or a ball?!

[Oddwen]

Bah, the Opera joke has been got to already. ;)

Okay, how about:

Sam, Pippin and Merry scream as they are Sent to Mordor.

Or...

When Dominic Monaghan showed Sean and Billy his splinter, they jumped screaming and fighting not to vomit off the boat.

Or...

Sam: THERE! I told you to stop that annoying voice and now you will!
Pippin: My Teddy!

Or...

Sam: You call dat'a jump? What, for nottin' I train you and you can't mak-a da simple jump onto da raft?
Pippin: What is wrong with you, man?

Or...

Sam: Look, I'm telling you, it's got wings!
Pippin: No! It can't be true! NOOOO!!

Or...

Trying to catch flies in their open mouths was always a popular pastime with drunken boating hobbits.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Merry has a nice racket going--he had Sam and Pippin catch pennies thrown at them in their mouth.

[Ainaserkewen]

Sam and Pippin: "It's this big!"

Merry: (horified) "What!!!'

Sam and Pippin: "The fish we just caught."

Hope I don't get sued by the T-shirt for that one.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Pippin: Run you stupid horse! I've got £300 on you!

OR

Sam decided that its time to perfect his skills as a mime artist. Pippin does not agree.

[Rimbaud]

Curiously, the producer of The Abridged Les Miserables took the title rather too literally.

[Boromir88]

Sam reels in disgust as Elrond steps in a pile of dogpoop while barefoot...

Sam: Oh how could you! Oh...no! Oh, my! Ahh, that's so gross.

or...

Sam: Oh! No! They just trampled Frodo, ahh, ohhh my!!!

Pippin: Na, na, you can't touch me :sticks out tongue:

[Gurthang]

As Sam and Pippin are distracted by Frodo being eaten by a frog, Merry decides to make a quiet escape.

OR

Sam and Pippin scream in horror as the last piece of lembas floats away.

OR

Merry: "What's a Black Rider doing in Valinor?"
Pippin: "Well, it looks like he's waiting for us, actually. Wow, I wasn't expecting a welcome party!"
Sam: "It's not a welcome party and that's not Valinor! The map lied to us! I Hate MapQuest!"

[The Only Real Estel]

Sam: "Hurry Mr. Frodo!"

Pippin: "JUMP!!!"

Merry: "Eh, I don't really care if he makes it, he willed Bag End to me."

[Mithalwen]

"Oh Father Abrahm, seven sons he had; seven sons had Father Abraham, and they never laughed and they never cried. All they did was go like THIS"

[Lalwendë]

Samwise and Peregrin go head to head in the final heat of the 47th Annual Bucklebury Air Guitar Championships.


OR


Merry is mortified as Samwise and Peregrin shout lewd comments at Rosie Cotton from the scaffolding on the building site.


OR


Tempers flared at the boating lake when the landing platform broke free from its moorings.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

While floating through outer space on a giant book, Samwise and Pippin are amazed to descry Lalwendë, and they yell frantically at her.

Or (the more simple)...

"Outrage as yobs shout abuse at pensioners from stolen boat"

[Anguirel]

The Brandy Hall College History of Art trip to Venice coincided with a severe case of aqua alta...

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Sam: A Horse! My garden, for a horse!

Pippin: Is this a mushroom I see before me?

Merry: You're hopeless.

[The Perky Ent]

Frodo: :O Shinobi attack!

or

As the ring magically destoryed in Frodo's pocket, he found to his dismay that all this time Merry, Sam, and Pippin and been Nazgul!

or

Frodo: Seriously guys, I don't think those mime lessons are paying off!

[The Only Real Estel]

Music for Midnight Cruises By Samwise, Peregrin, & Meridoc is provided by Sam & Pippin. Tonight it's Rockabye Baby with accompanying hand motions by Sam.

[Glirdan]

All three Hobbits were outraged at the out come of the votes. They've all been evicted!!!

or

Sean and Billy didn't realise that they were auditoning for the wrong movie.

PJ: Uh guys? The "Scream" set is two doors down.

[Bêthberry]

A sneak peek of the cast preparing for the new LotR musical.

[Boromir88]

The Hobbits are outraged they aren't in the next picture...

http://www.warofthering.net/quintessential/rotk_latestimages/theoden_rohanwarcouncil.jpg

Old Man: Were those just two swallows carrying a coconut on a string?

Or...

Theoden: Shh, don't look, maybe they'll think we're working.

Man with Hat: Why do you want that?

Theoden: Because, it's Gandalf and Aragorn, if they see me they'll beg me to go to Minas Tirith and I don't want to.

Old Man: I think that old wizard guy just uncloaked.

[Alcarillo]

Man in Hat: Yikes! There's Grima!

Theoden: So what?

Man in Hat: I stole my clothes from him!

[Gil-Galad]

Theoden: i never wanted to be the Kin of this crummy country

everyone else: :eek:

Theoden: i wanted to be a Lumberjack! leaping from tree to tr- oh no Gandalf is coming uncloaked!

[Kitanna]

King Theoden: Has Aragorn actually bathed?
Old Guy on the Right: No it cannot be, it must be a trick of the enemy!
Aragorn off camera: :mad:

[CaptainofDespair]

Captain Theoden, of the Starship Edoras, is having technical difficulties.

Captain Kirk: Come...in...Starship Edoras. This...is...Captain Kirk.
Captain Theoden: *whispering to First Mate* Shh...break up the transition. I hate talking to this guy.
First Mate: Yes, sir.
Captain Kirk: Oh no...you...are...breaking up. If...you can...hear...me, Admiral Sauron...of the...Star...destroyer...Barad-dur....is hunting...you. Beware...

<End Transmission>

Captain Theoden: What'd he say?
First Mate: Dunno. I never pay attention to that has-been.

[Bêthberry]

Theoden's military planning is interrupted by a strange bearded young man arriving and yelling "ALAAAARM".

[Boromir88]

Old Man: Who's that dirty guy?

Theoden: That's Aragorn...(to Aragorn) What do you want?

Aragorn: Gondor's calling for aid!

Theoden: I really want to throw my boot at you right now, but I'm a civilized man, so I won't. But, I'm going to think it!

Or...

Old Man: Why's everyone screaming?

Theoden: Gandalf!

[Oddwen]

Lucy, Susan and Peter try to get Edmumd to admit that he sees the lamppost.

[Formendacil]

Eowyn walks in on "the Guys" right after a heated discussion concerning her and Aragorn.

[The Perky Ent]

Theoden: >.< Iceberg! That wasn't on the map!

Guy in Center: Um..yes it was! I told you twenty times it was

Theoden: Yeah...but your hat kinda threw me off. I mean, look at it!

or

Theoden and his friends were shocked to find out this wasn't the set for Henry VI

or

It was never before seen in the lands of Rohan for an elf of Mirkwood to moon a king

or

Theoden: Wait...so...you're saying it's over the river and through the woods to Grandmothers house?

Aragorn: Yes

Theoden: Oh :(

[Pallando]

Man in Hat whispers: There he is!
Theoden: Where?
Man in Hat: There! *points to a rabbit*
Theoden: Behind the rabbit?
Man in Hat: It is the rabbit.

or

Just then, as Aragorn walked into the room...

Man in Hat: We are the Knights who say... Ni!

[Oddwen]

The obvious...

The men were not able to shield themselves from the blinding light that is...Gandalf the Grey Uncloaked!

Or the oblivious...

Theoden: Whoa, killer solo, dude.

[Pallando]

Just then, Aragorn entered the room and began to sing...

I'm a barbie girl, in the barbie world
Life in plastic, it's fantastic!
you can brush my hair, undress me everywhere
Imagination, life is your creation

I'm a blond bimbo girl, in the fantasy world
Dress me up, make it tight, I'm your dolly
kiss me here, touch me there, hanky panky...
You can touch, you can play, if you say: "I'm always yours"

The Men of Edoras who were within earshot died from laughter.

[Gurthang]

All the players jerk their eyes to the doorway. Who would dare disturb their game of Risk?!

OR

These guys just got caught looking at a 'questionable' magazine. :eek:

OR

These guys just got caught trying to change the script.
PJ: "You leave my script alone!"
Theoden: "No! I'm going to do this for Tolkien!" *scribble, scribble, write* "Curses! Nothing can save this mess!" *rip rip rip*
PJ: :eek:

OR

Black Hat Guy: "Look over there!"
Everyone: "We don't see anything."
*Black Hat Guy takes gold purse from table and puts into pocket*
Black Hat Guy: *evilgrin*

OR

Everyone gasps in shock and horror at Aragorn's cursing.

[Ainaserkewen]

What do you mean the war ended 2 weeks ago!?

[Hookbill the Goomba]

The dwarves mating ritual comes to Edoras!

OR

The Mouth of Sauron had his teeth cleaned! :eek:

Man at back: I'm blind! Aaaaagh!

Or yet:

Aragorn: Erm, lord Théoden, you may want to just go and look in the mirror a second.

Théoden: Why?

Aragorn: There is something you should know about.

Théoden: What is it? If you've got something to say, say it!

Legolas: Your head is on fire!

Everyone: *sigh* thank you Cpt Obvious.

[Lalwendë]

A Familiar Tale.


Theoden: "The bookcase is definitely leaning to the right. Which bit did we leave out?"

Man in hat: "It appears from the instructions that we needed to join piece A to section F, instead of joining piece A to lintel D. And we've used up all the screws."

Man in Armour: "Do you wish me to hot foot it down to B&Q sire? I can get some super glue."