Crazy Captions

[Lalwendë]

Merry: "My cup-a-soup is a bit Haywain flavoured." The Hobbits grimaced as Merry went into his familiar Slade At Home routine from Reeves and Mortimer.

OR


Sam didn't really feel like joining in with the hearty cheer of "Skol!" as he was on lemonade, being designated driver for the evening.

[Gandalf_the _white]

Frodo didn't really have a mug, concealed behind Merry's mug was the ring which he had secretly saved :eek: :eek:
(He was planning the deaths of everyone in the pub, thats why hes smiling)

[Gothmog]

Frodo thinking: I'm never been any good at sports, but now I've won 3 cups! Hope I don't get mugged...

*sigh*:rolleyes:

[The Elf-warrior]

The Hobbits give a toast to the possibility of the Hobbit coming out in 2007.

http://i33.photobucket.com/albums/d78/ShelobsBane/smaug.jpg

Smaug gloats over his two Survivor victories OR

Smaug: "It's mine! My own! My Precious!"

[narfforc]

As Bilbo bends down to pick up a penny, he has a slight accident, which results in a cloud of foul smelling gas erupt from his behind. The Dragon says: Phew young hobbit, that is one strong stink, it's burning my nostrils.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Smaug: *singing* I am so Rich! I am so Rich! You are poor! But I am Rich!

OR

Smaug: Pass me that big beer mug would you?

Bilbo: It's a pot of Gold.

Smaug: Is it? Wow. Who are you again?

[Mithalwen]

In "The Apprentice - Middle Earth", Bilbo is about to hear the immortal words "You're fired"

[Morsul the Dark]

Bilbo starts vomiting when he relizes the truth... gold is really just dragon doo-doo(i mean if they never leave their hoard where do they go?)

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Bilbo: See, I am bald! It was just a wig!

Smaug: Oooohhh! I see.

OR

Smaug: You think that's all a pile of Gold? Well, you know how my belly is covered in jewels? And... Well, all these years without exercise and not a female Dragon for miles... I let myself go a little... and then a little more... and so on...

Bilbo: Oooohhh! I see.

[Gothmog]

The annual soap bubble challenge:
Smaug:Lo! I'm blowing bubbles out of my nose!
Bilbo: Oh, that's nothing. I've covered myself in bubbles! Just finishing my left leg...

OR

Little Red Riding Bilbo: Oh Grandma, your nose are so big!
Big Bad Smaug: It's because I want to smell your odour!

OR

Bilbo: You know, when I was younger I could bend all the way down here, (touches his toes) but now I can only bend like this (bends 90 degrees).
Smaug: Same thing here! A few hundred years ago, I could bite my tail!

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

The pile of treasure, (background) was furious finding Smaug sleeping with another pile of treasure.

[Oddwen]

Bilbo forgets the Dwarves he left at the end of the secret tunnel and bows to the Dragon's majesty!

[mormegil]

Bilbo: Smaug why would you possibly need a ladder for that giant mug of gold?

Smaug: Well you see...I ummm...well I...Oh Shut up!

or

Bilbo: While you can smell you you cannot see me and therein lies your problem in dealing with me.

Smaug: *thinking* Old fool! Does he really think he's invisible...this particular artist gave me the advantage of the vapor of gas and dark outline of this hobbit.

[The Only Real Estel]

Smaug (singing to himself): "If were a rich dragon, na na na na na na na na na; see I'd have all the money in the world if I were a wealthy dra-a-a-a-gon."

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Smaug: Yeah, I had a dog once... He's in here somewhere...

Dog: *Muffled howl*

[Mithalwen]

Smaug the Golden, inventor of Bling

[Oddwen]

Bilbo nearly falls over in shock - just in front of him, by the fire-runes along the outside - is the One Giant Mug to rule them All!

(That's a Tolkien work, isn't it? {the painting})

[Rikae]

Bilbo: I blow my nose at you, so called "Smaug Dragon". I fart in your general direction!

[mormegil]

Bilbo: Is that a Silmaril at the top of your pile?

Smaug: Do you know anybody related to Feanor?

Bilbo: Why yes, yes I do.

Smaug: Well then no it's not a Silmaril then.

[THE Ka]

Smaug: Ugh! It's always smoke and mirrors with you thieves, seriously, me falling for your two-bit act is about as likely as stopping my equally plunging waist line...

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Smaug was not ready for most things, let alone being hassled by pizzarias for his exceptional bill...

Smaug: I really am becoming tired of pizza boy, okay...


~ Ka

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Bilbo: Hmmm... Maybe Thorin should have given me a bigger bag...

[Holbytlass]

Smaug: You're a hobbit!? I thought you were a crash-test-dummy.

[The Only Real Estel]

Out of all that gold Smaug espies the two eggs over-easy...

[The Only Real Estel]

Although she was pleased with the straw-to-gold trick, the girl wasn't to thrilled upon discovering the damsel-to-dragon part of it in the fine print of Rumpelstiltskin's contract.

[Holbytlass]

Even after all these years, Smaug is still environmentally aware and has his grocery bags of recyclables waiting by the stairs.

[Boromir88]

Smaug: Hey, I found a new picture!

http://www.dga.org/news/v26_5/images/feat_jackson3_full.jpg

As Peter Jackson gives Saruman the run down about how the following scene will go, he tries to slyfully snatch the script to avoid doing any work. :eek:

OR....

Peter Jackson: Ok, so are you going to do it that way?

Saruman: (waves hand) You do not want me to do it that way.

Peter Jackson: You're jedi tricks wo- wait a second, we're not filming Star Wars! Don't try that again.

[Oddwen]

Chris: Rawrr, prawwrr! *claw*
PJ(scolding): Now now Chris, be PJ's good boy and I'll give you a bigger part in RotK!

Or...

Chris: Yeah? You got something to say? Give me that script, little boy!
PJ: Oooh, you're so mean! I'm gonna tell my Daddy on you!

Or...

PJ: Okay, just this once, but you've got to stop those Dracula impressions. I mean it, Chris!

[The Only Real Estel]

PJ: "...so I hope you see it my way now."

Christopher: "Actually, I still don't agree, because-"

PJ: "Okay, you really need to trim your fingernails because that's just downright unnerving."

Christopher: "..."

[narfforc]

PJ: Did you know that there is something unpleasant hanging out of your nostril.

Chris: Did you know yours is still stuck on your finger.................

[Hookbill the Goomba]

PJ: Now, you need to control this urge you have to strangle me.

Mr Lee: Only if you stop making all these darned changes.

PJ: NEVER!

OR

PJ: Your beard is long!

Lee: Thank you. Let me check your pulse...

[Rikae]

PJ: ...and I want a new camera, and an exercise machine, and a mace, and a flamethrower, and...

Lee: Now wait just a minute. Have you been naughty, or nice?

[THE Ka]

Lee: ...You'll encounter further problems on the set, but with your amazing team of special effects directors, you will be able to pull through the second movie. Though, I do see troubles ahead in the third with your set management. For more winded consultation, insert another coin into palantir...

PJ: ...Thanks, but that still doesn't answer my question. Do you know where my sandwich is?...

Lee: What do I look like? Your mum?! Now beat it!

~ Ka

[Lalwendë]

PJ: "No. I'm most definitely not coming to Summerisle with you!"

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Saruman: Must... have... the... precious...

PJ: Now-now! I've told you, it's pronounced 'script'.

[mormegil]

PJ: Do NOT touch me! Nothing gives you that right.

or

Chris: Okay so now I go in for the sacrifice and pull out the heart?

PJ: Right...wait I mean NO this isn't Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom!

or

Chris: Okay now when Grima comes I cast my enchanted chest hair growth formula on him?

PJ: Oh, look...it worked.

[Mithalwen]

CL : Don't you wave your finger at me .... I read the book before you were born and I met Tolkien....

[The Elf-warrior]

PJ "Remember, I'm the director, you're the actor."

[Boromir88]

Professor Lee: Hand it over, you know my policy about passing around love letters in class.

PJ: No! You're not going to read this out loud!

[Lalwendë]

Saruman: "I'll have Acrylic wraps and a deep Burgundy polish to finish, my good man."

[Morsul the Dark]

PJ: yyou have something in your nose here use this tissue...

[The Only Real Estel]

Chris: Okay now when Grima comes I cast my enchanted chest hair growth formula on him?

PJ: "No, no! When will you get it right?? The enchanted chest hair formula is for Legolas later in the movie, the enchanted eyebrow hair formula is for Grima."

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

PJ got his own coin operated wizard

[Holbytlass]

CL: In Willy Wonka I got acrylic teeth, but you give me acrylic nails!
PJ: Hey! That's not fair, acrylic teeth weren't around in the middle-earth ages.

[Lalwendë]

Peter: "Enough of the Tommy Cooper impersonations! You're supposed to take the Palantir scenes seriously!"

[Hookbill the Goomba]

PJ: I'm not that short!

Lee: Well, you are standing on a box.

[Bêthberry]

Lee and PJ rehearse the Jerusalem hymn based on William Blake's Milton but the scene is omitted once the decision to cut the Scouring of the Shire is made.

[Kitanna]

PJ: ...and I want a new camera, and an exercise machine, and a mace, and a flamethrower, and...

Lee: Now wait just a minute. Have you been naughty, or nice?
PJ: No! No! I want an Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle!

or

PJ: And don't forget the lettuce and the milk and the...
Lee: Give me the list! If it's on there I'll get it.

[Brinniel]

PJ: Now Chris, I know you're not happy about being cut from RotK, but like everyone else, you must be acceptant and mature about such changes.

Christopher Lee: Must....kill....Peter....Jackson....

[The Only Real Estel]

PJ: "So I want Wormtounge to stab you in the back with a silver spike and -"

Chris: "Now that's not at all what the books say!"

PJ: "Christopher, we will not use our big voices, is that understood?"

Chris: "Give me that."

[Gil-Galad]

S - Is it bannana?

PJ - wrong again! you told me you were a wizard! this is the worst birthday party ever! get out! everyone get out!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Peter still hadn’t quite got the hang of Rock-Paper-scissors.

[The Only Real Estel]

Peter: "Let's see, fifteen down is...'a mishap'..."

Lee: "Catastrophy."

Peter: "No that won't fit, it's only ten letters..."

Lee: "Well spell it with an 'f' instead of a 'ph' then."

[Boromir88]

Saruman: Let me see that New picture.

PJ: Only if you promise to get impaled by one of your spiky wheels.

Saruman: It's a deal, now let me see.

http://www.btinternet.com/~meduseld/boromir51.jpg

Boromir attempts to lift the soldiers' morale by...poll-dancing? :eek:

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Not many new it, but Boromir was for decades the only thing keeping Osgiliath together.

[Kitanna]

Boromir practices his catcalls on the leggy blond. It was later discovered that it was Legolas.

[Oddwen]

Boromir screams excitedly as he prepares to bungee off the wall of Osgiliath.

Or...

Boromir is overwhelmed by the sheer magnitude of the crowd DOING THE WAVE!

[mormegil]

Spectre Boromir returns and all he can say is

Boo!

or

Boromir: Come on let me dip you! Please, please please!

Faramir: NO! The twirl was enough.

[narfforc]

Boromir: One day all this will be Mine.

Faramir: Well that will save us digging for stone.

[Brinniel]

Am I just I just seeing things?

Or could it really be....

....after all these years....

....THE RETURN OF THE DISCO KING?! :eek:

[Beanamir of Gondor]

Inspired by the victory of retaking Osgiliath:
Boromir: Ohhhhhhh, Danny Boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling.....!
Faramir: What the......? Boromir, would you PLEASE get down and stop singing before Dad gets here!

[Gil-Galad]

Boromir - soon little brother this will all be yours!

Faramir - What? the Curtains?

Boromir - no not the curtains!

[Valesse]

....THE RETURN OF THE DISCO KING?!

Boromir takes time to preform the electric slide.

[The Only Real Estel]

Boromir preforms Who Let the Dogs Out? in Middle Earth Idol.

Boro: "...who, who, who..." :D

[Farael]

Boromir starrs in the Opera "The Fall of Osgiliath" (By his expression some people have thought Osgiliath fell on his little toe)

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Directing traffic in Osgiliath always strangely amused Boromir... no one knows why.

OR

Boromir: I swear! The fish was this big!

[Holbytlass]

Boromir attempts to lift the soldiers' morale by...poll-dancing?
Boromir: Well, if Kittana* can Charleston on a flag, then I can dance on a poll!



*look at her location

[Kath]

Boromir: That's it guys! Pull those muscles into shape you bunch of ninnys! This is aerobics not ballet!

[Boromir88]

Boromir: Arg! We've 'it land Captain!

Denethor: (to Faramir) Why did you let him watch Pirates of the Anduin. Now my Captain of the army thinks he's a pirate!

Boromir: Remember this day, as the day you almost caught Captain Boro- aaaauuuughhhh.

[Rikae]

Sean - C'mon, PJ, the creatures will be WAY cooler if you use mocap for all of them. I can play the fell beast...see?

[Mithalwen]

Boro "for I am a Pirate Kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing"

Faramir ..."Your not, Dad explained it years ago ... you can't be a king... only a Steward"

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Boromir: Oh! Suits you sir!

:rolleyes:

OR

Despite advice to the contrary, Bormir decides to attempt to surf down the steps in Osgiliath, Legolas style. He spent the next two weeks in hospital with 3rd degree burns.

[The Elf-warrior]

Boromir: "They may take our 401(k)s, but they'll never take our freedom!"

[Eonwe]

Observed here in its natural habitat, the alpha-male defends its territory against all comers.

-:OR:-

Boromir imagining himself riding the Green Goblin's sled...

[Morsul the Dark]

I caught a fish THIS big!

[Valesse]

Boromir finds that doing the YMCA dance is much more difficult after the elves translated it to Quenya.

[The Only Real Estel]

Boromir held the distinguished as the single worst punner in all of Gondor, as evidenced by this scene:

Boromir: "I feel so confident, it's as if the whole city is behind me!" :rolleyes:

[Parmastahir]

. . . to Helm's Deep:

Saruman: "OK, for the last time. Head south, turn left at the Fords of the Isen, then turn right at the Deeping Stream."

Orc: "OK, right then left!"

Saruman: "Why don't you get one of the Dunlendings in here?"

Orc: "Good idea! Which way do I go?"

[Holbytlass]

inspired by Parmastahir....

Do not go to Boromir for directions, for he shall tell you both left and right.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Boromir: Gondorians! I present, the new picture!

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i291/JoelCornah/Palantir.jpg

Saruman: Guess what's under here! Go on! You’ll never guess!

Gandalf: Erm... A palantir.

Saruman: ... ... Blast.

OR

Saruman: Feel it! Real silk!

Gandalf: Hmm. I see. Are you feeling okay? :confused:

[Farael]

Saruman teaches Gandalf to do the Hokey Pokey

S: You put one hand in, you put one hand out...

[High King Fingolfin]

Saruman: My secret weapon is right under here! But before I reveal it I must first say this: I am the fire that burns your hat!

Gandalf: Um, Saruman, I think your thinking of the wrong thread.

[Boromir88]

Going further off of Hookbill's:
Saruman: Guess what's under here! Go on! You’ll never guess!

Gandalf: Erm... A palantir.

Saruman: Guess what I have under here? It holds the answers to everything! It's rather quite scary how accurate it is.

Gandalf: A palantir is a dangerous tool Saruman!

Saruman: Who said I have a palantir? It's a magic 8 ball.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Saruman: I've got a present for you. Close your eyes and open your mouth.

OR

Saruman: Oh, you think I'm in league with Sauron, do you? Well, let's just call him and find out shall we? Hm? Would you like that?

Gandalf: Okay then.

Saruman: I'll do it! I really will. If that's what it will take. You know... Because I'm not! Really! I'm not! You want me to call him?

Gandalf: Okay.

Saruman: I will! I'll do it... I will... Oh I can't bare it anymore! I AM in league with Sauron! I can't bare the guilt!

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Neither Saruman or Gandalf belived that super-glue had been used on the clothing covering the palantir and now they were helplessly stuck.

or

To replace a palantir with an angry dwarf was considerd bad taste by Wizards, but Gandalf did not care one bit.

or

The Wizards had lost their staffs and had to use the palantir as support.

[The Only Real Estel]

Saruman: "And now, we will reveal to our contestant his prize under Palantir Cover Number Three..."

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Gandalf: I think I'm going to sneeze.

Saruman: Use this!

OR

Gandalf: Have you seen my lucky bowling ball?

Saruman: NO! I mean… what does it look like?

[Boromir88]

Saruman: What's hiding under my cloth?

Gandalf: Don't do it! It could be a black squirrel!

(Long story but my niece got attacked by a black squirrel at college and it was the most hilarious thing ever) :D

[Hookbill the Goomba]

(Long story but my niece got attacked by a black squirrel at college and it was the most hilarious thing ever) :D

There's nothing funny about getting attacked by squirrels... ... ... ... ... ...

...

*Snigger*. :D

Anyway...

____

Saruman: Ah! look at this! Grima! The Palantir pedestal is not a laundry basket!

Gandalf: Tsk! Kids today.

Saruman: Oh, tell me about it!

[narfforc]

Saruman: I found something strange the other day, have you ever heard that song called Great Balls of Fire.

Gandalf: Eye know what is in that Glass Ball.

[Bêthberry]

Wizards discussing the merits of silk versus velvet black cloaks.

[The Only Real Estel]

Saruman: "Guess what's under here, Gandalf?"

Gandalf: "Judging by appearances...a hair straightener?"

[mormegil]

Gandalf: What is it under there?

Saruman? Under where?

Gandalf: Really!?!

or

Gandalf: What is that?

Saruman: The ultimate weapon. Behold! I give you Mini-me. It attacks through sheer annoyance.

[Lalwendë]

Gandalf: "I know what you've got under there! An object of immense power and sinister magick! Uncover the artefact forthwith!"

Saruman: "Actually, it's just my budgie, Joey. It was time for his nap so I thought I'd cover his cage up."

[THE Ka]

Gandalf and Saruman in their spare time debate an Aesthetical triffle as old as time - Silk vs. Velvet...


Gandalf: The versatility of silk is limited, listless, and too strict I say!

Saruman: Oh pshaw Gandalf! I see you've been too fond of wearing the halfling's velvet, it's clearly ruining your mind...

~ Aesthete

[Mithalwen]

Gandalf, to offcamera contestants : "Well with your 300 gold pieces you bought you bought a pair of decorative lamps and an old staff - do you want to swap one of these for your expert, Saruman's mystery choice before wer get to the auction?"

[Lalwendë]

Gandalf reacts with horror as Saruman tells him what he's about to do. "Prepare for my secret weapon. Grima.......uncloaked!"

[The Only Real Estel]

Saruman: "Gandalf, I introduce you to my newest creation. I call it...Mini-Saruman (http://www.barrowdowns.com/mini-sar.jpg)." *



*Copyright, The Barrow-Downs ;) :p

[Morsul the Dark]

Saruman: Under this clth lies a secret of mine A discovery s devstating it will challenge your vision of reality...
Gandalf: What?
Saruman:a globe Middle-Earth is round...
Gandalf: Crazy talk

[The Elf-warrior]

Saruman: "Admit it, Gandalf. You want to communicate with Sauron. You want to speak to this bogeyman you have been gesticulating against for so many years. You don't want to admit it but in the back of your mind you want to know if he's really as evil as you say he is."

Gandalf: "No! I want to see the glories of Valinor unstained!"

Saruman: "Always living in the past, aren't you, Gandalf the Grey?"

[Meneltarmacil]

Saruman: I am the fist that hits your face!

Gandalf: I am the helmet that bruises your hand.

Saruman: I am the bomb that drops from the sky and makes you go BOOM!

Gandalf: Ummmmmm...

[Beanamir of Gondor]

Gandalf: Don't do it! It could be a black squirrel! The black squirrels on our campus are evil as well. They attack us on a regular basis.

Gandalf: Where'd you get the coconut?
Saruman: I found it.
Gandalf: Found it? In Isengard? The coconut's tropical!
Saruman: What do you mean?
Gandalf: Well, this is a temperate zone
Saruman: The crebain may fly south with the sun or the Balrog or the Nazgul may seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land?
Gandalf: Are you suggesting that coconuts migrate?
Saruman: Not at all. They could be carried.
Gandalf: What? A crebain carrying a coconut?
Saruman: It could grip it by the husk.
Gandalf: It's not a question of where he grips it! It's a simple question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not carry a one pound coconut.

....you get the point :rolleyes:

[Holbytlass]

Gandalf: This is the dumbest sayantz* I've ever been to! Obviously that's your right hand poking the cloth up.





*I can't spell it and dictionary.com was no help! How can one look up a word when they can't spell it!?

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

A casual talk betwen Gandalf and Saruman about interior decoration, spawned the idea that would become the greatest soap ever. . . Designing Wizards

[Oddwen]

*cough seance cough*

Gandalf: I can't believe it worked...

Saruman: I know, the formula I invented was a stroke of genius! Now help me dig Grima out from under his new eyebrows...

(Ha ha, maybe I shouldn't be allowed to spell-check, I tried to spell it 'forumla'!)

Gandalf: ...but I'm telling you, underneath that drapery is Count Olaf!

Saruman: Nonsense, Count Olaf has one eyebrow, and this Palantir has no eyebrows.

[Rikae]

Brad Dourif in the barber chair: No, Chris, I don't think we should do a spoof of the shaving scene in "Mississippi Burning"...I still have the scars from the first time!

Christopher Lee: No, we just want to give you some highlights. Put on this smock...

Ian: You'll look divine!

[Gil-Galad]

Saruman: you know that old man down why west-fold?

Gandalf: uh yes?

Saruman: well you know that whole 'magic bowling ball' thing hes been ranting about?

Gandalf: uh...sure...what about it?

Saruman: *points to cloth*

Gandalf: get out! no way! dude really! i can't beleive it! it's taken us like forever to get it!

Saruman: nah i'm just pulling you its only a Palantir

Gandalf: i hate you...lets battle to the death while i get saved by an eagle

Saruman: fine then i will create an evil army and kill people...

[Bêthberry]

Istari discuss the fabric of Arda.

[Holbytlass]

Gandalf: Thanks to all those who posted and pm'ed with the proper "seance" we can proceed!
Saruman: Exactly. We have raised a new picture!!
http://www.andrearomeo.com/archive/images/taylor.jpg
They also managed to raise Taylor's doppelganger!

[narfforc]

Man: And this is one of The Hazy-orcs, you need to have spectacles like mine to see them.

Orc: Has anyone got a tablet, my head is a bit fuzzy.

[Gurthang]

Man: "Oh, right. There's a big, scary monster right behind me. Yeah, like I'm gonna fall for that one."

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Taylor's new job at drug rehab was really starting to get him down.

OR

Richard Taylor was disappointed not to get the roll in The Sound of music, but to lose it to THAT guy was the final insult.

[elronds_daughter]

Quoth Mr. Taylor: "Why...why won't she leave me alone? The stalking is bad enough, but the slavering..." <shudders>

[Kath]

Taylor: But PJ, I was working from your ideas, I thought this was what you wanted Arwen to look like!

[elronds_daughter]

Orc: I am Ugluk! I command! Now you all better listen to me! <excessive control-freak ranting>

Taylor: Okay...so experimenting with a female Ugluk wasn't the greatest idea...

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

What made the orc really scary was the sweater it was wearing. . . .So last year!

[mormegil]

Photographic proff that WETA is the same as every other company in the world: We all have a cube-mate just like that.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

After the fall of Sauron, it was hard to find work for Orcs. This one tried to be a waiter, but he was still too nosey.

Orc: Who ordered the fish stake?

Richard: I hardly think that’s any of your business!

OR

Orc: Hay! Hay! Mr Taylor! Hay! Remember me!

Taylor: Aaagh. I used to go to school with that guy.

[Lalwendë]

Finally, photographic proof that old Goths have pointy ears.

[THE Ka]

SoapNet was becoming even more desperate...


~ Ka

[Morsul the Dark]

Both men contemplate why th doorknob is in the shot
right bottom corner

[The Elf-warrior]

Richard Taylor: "Yeah, so what if Grushgrug can't sing?"

[The Only Real Estel]

Middle-Earth Idol contestant Richard Taylor was less than thrilled with the judge that would be picking his song to sing in the next round...

[Gurthang]

Announcer: "Congratulations, you've won! And your prize is... A kiss from our *ehem* lovely Edith!"

[narfforc]

Orc: Excuse me, I can't get this makeup off, I think the hobbits swapped the adhesive for super glue.

Man: Oh well at least you'll be a stick on sure thing as an extra in The Hobbit.

Orc: What!!!!!!!!, I can't wait that long.

[The Sixth Wizard]

Man: So THAT'S what orc women look like!

Other Man: Nope that's a dwarf woman. That's why last year Dale's biggest export was skin-care products to the Lonely Mountain, closely followed by shampoo.

OR

Man: So THAT'S what orc women look like!

Other Man: Nope that's an Entwife!!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Orc: I think it's time for a new Picture!

http://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i291/JoelCornah/Denethorsmadness.jpg

Denethor lost his Teddy Bear! :(

OR

The Steward learns not to play with fire the hard way.

[Lalwendë]

Years of sitting on cold marble had given Denethor a serious haemmorhoid problem.

[Thinlómien]

"Achooo!"

[Lalwendë]

At Home With The Stewards.

"Sharrronnn!!!"

[Hookbill the Goomba]

After losing both arms, Denethor found it hard to play Tennis and so gave up.

OR

Boromir: Father... I'm... a member of the Gandalf the grey fan club!

Denethor: No-oooooooo!

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Denethor once again found him self crying, after an argument with his throne.

or

Once again Denethor fell down the stairs as he was sitting in the Kings throne.

[Gothmog]

Denethor: Someone has super-glued my arms and legs together! FAAARAAAMIIIR!!!

OR:

A tomato stain on my favourit dress, NOOOOO!

OR:

Denethor having a bad hair day.

OR even:

Denethor: I'm blind! I can't see! HELP ME!
Faramir: *sigh* Father, open your eyes... (duh!)

[Brinniel]

Denethor's mother often warned him, "If you hold that expression too long it'll get stuck that way." Sadly, Denethor never did believe her....

[Kath]

Denethor: I WANT MY MUMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

[Volo]

Denethor daydreaming about being spanked when he was young.

[Lalwendë]

"Oooh! Me coccyx is broken!"

Denethor discovers the hard way that he's now too old for surfing down the stairs on an old tea tray from the refectory.

[mormegil]

Pippin (off screen): My Lord, why do you close your eyes?

Denethor: If I can't see what going on then it truly isn't.

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

"Never again shall I bet on De Montfort to win the Boat Race"

"After opening a few windows, Denethor made Pippin promise to cut down his protein intake"

"A short time later, the Steward abolished practical jokes involving drawing pins"

"I thought I told you never to sing that song"

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Denethor watches in horror as Boromir explodes for no reason.

OR

Denethor is denied his Happy Meal.

[Kitanna]

A Throne Room Named Desire
Denethor: STELLLA!

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Never tell a Steward that he is not a real king or he will weep all day. . .

or

Denethor gets the news that his son has become a Disco King

[The Only Real Estel]

And you thought Christopher Lee might've overreacted to not being able to get up the stairs in his robe...

[Lalwendë]

Denethor has a painful morning when his Stannah Throne Lift malfunctions and gives him a less than graceful trip back down the stairs.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Denethor: I'm Melting! MEEEELLLTTTIINNNGGG!

OR

Denethor got his tow stuck in the Escalator again.

[Boromir88]

Here we go again...

Faramir: Father what's wrong!?

Denethor: Gandalf the Grey uncloaked! :eek:

OR

Denethor's reaction after hearing Boromir sold the Steward's throne on ebay so he could buy some of Legolas' trademarked Strawberry Shampoo.

[THE Ka]

Denethor is obviously in a classic example of the horrible aesthetical debate: Marble vs. Stylized Stonework...

or...

Denethor was never comfortable with interviews...

Denethor: My socks dooooooon't match!!!!

~ Aesthete

[Rikae]

Pippin: Help! Denethor tried to swallow a whole tomato! Does anyone know the Heimlich maneuver?

[Gandalf_the _white]

Denethor actually survived being set on fire and Aragorn kept himto watch the throne for a while.

Denethor: I will not bow to this Ranger from the North!!!!! :mad: I'll grovel instead! WAAAAAAAA!!!!!!! :( :(

[Holbytlass]

Damn that MC Escher (http://www.allposters.com/gallery.asp?aid=96333269&c=c&search=78701&GCID=s15100x001&KEYWORD=Mc+Escher)!

[Brinniel]

Denethor's reaction to the spider he saw crawling on his throne. :eek:

[Morsul the Dark]

constipation, never pretty

[Boromir88]

Denethor: Anything but a new picture that includes Gandalf!


http://i.imdb.com/Photos/Ss/0167260/lotr3_3AP_99777.jpg

Gandalf looks in disbelief when he is hammered with a million bills of the damages caused when he flooded his bathroom.

[Kitanna]

Gandalf: A big musical number? Are you sure this is a good idea?
PJ: It worked for Dirty Dancing, it'll work for us.

[Brinniel]

Ian McKellan: Why does this script have to be so bloody small? I can hardly read the text!
PJ: Didn't you know? I had hobbits write it for me...

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Are we just making up captions for imaginary pictures or is there suposed to be one in Boro's post ?

[Boromir88]

There should be a picture. Try this Rune:

http://www.moviepublicity.com/image_assets/lotr3_3AP_99777.jpg

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Before I was blind, but now I can see ! Thanks Boromir

Ian McKellan and PJ's friendsip was destroyed by the competition that spawned, when they both auditioned for the same castrato choir.

[The Only Real Estel]

Denethor's reaction to not even getting past the auditions in Middle-Earth Idol.

-or-

Denethor just couldn't handle the harsh criticism of 'Sleepy Cowell.'

[THE Ka]

For one last good measure, Ian makes sure there are no jokes, references, off-handed compliments, spouts of wisdom, spouts of wisdom with a hint of humor for comic relief, or anything else of the 'uncloacking' nature...


~ Ka

[mormegil]

PJ: And here's the idea I had in mind that I spoke to you about earlier. You know the Pyscho shower scene featuring Gandalf.

or

PJ: And here's the picture of me and the kids in the bahamas.

or

PJ: When the sentries are up on the wall with the host of Mordor approaching I was thinking that we could have them do an impromptu kick-line. What do you think?

[narfforc]

P.J: And this is the total rewriting of The Battle of the Pelennor Fields

Gandalf: But it says here that I get a good thrashing from The Witch-king, that's absurd.

P.J: Ok we'll have him just break your staff.

Gandalf: Lot's of people will be very upset.

P.J: Only the fools who buy the Extended Edition.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

While waiting for PJ to realise that he has stolen the palantir from under his nose, Ian reads Jackson’s diary.

OR

PJ: So, as you can see on page 32 in diagram 9, the Orcs are actually going to grow wings and try and take you back to Barad-Dur.

Ian: Have you been drinking?

Pj: No! Anyway, I've got to go and film Sauron telling his Orcs to "Fly, my pretties!"

[Gothmog]

Ian: This is how you make a paper Nazgul
PJ: Great! Now we don't need those expensive computer generated monsters!

OR

PJ: Yuck! Who's the dead guy that's been using the script to blow his nose!
Ian: Hmmm, looks like an orc considering the color... :smokin: (<-- Sherlock for those who didn't know that!)

[Holbytlass]

PJ: And here's the picture of me and the kids in the bahamas.
Gandalf: Oh, they're redheads this time. ( :p ;) -to the movie not Morm)

[Volo]

Ian: I'm not acting in your films in there are penguins in them. Look here, the Downer is spammed with horrible news about penguins...

PJ: But Ian hey, the penguin will be only this size...

Ian: No! No penguins! Or I'll uncloack!

PJ: Got it! No penguins!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Inspired by...

Ian: I'm not acting in your films in there are penguins in them. Look here, the Downer is spammed with horrible news about penguins...
______________________

PJ: So, you run in, sword flailing, and you say, "Back to the second level" then an Orc comes at you and- are you listening to me?

Ian: Ho-ho-ho! Phantom, you really don't like that Alien! :D

(Yes, Gil, I'm always promoting my Newspaper. :p )

[Mithalwen]

Gandalf's builder explains why they have gone so much over budget and that it is going to cost an awful lot more to finish his house .....


PJ: "You agreed to the Belfalas marble... it is top quality but we had to ship it from Dol Amroth and get dwarves to work it..... then you changed the plain glazing to finest Lamedon stained glass.. sure we could cut corners but you won't get on "grand designs"....and Sarumna will laugh at you... "

[The Only Real Estel]

PJ: "Right, take this & look at it - this is how I want your dance to go at the Party."

Gandalf: "But...these are just simple drawings of stick-figures in barely altered positions."

PJ: "You're supposed to staple them together and then flip through them quickly. It makes it look like they're moving. I've got one that'll show you how to dance The Tarantella as well."

[The Elf-warrior]

Gandalf reads his cable bill.

Gandalf: "100 Ducats! But all the pay-per-view movies were pathetic!"

[doom_hammer]

it took a while for P.J and Ian to work out how many were in the fellowship

[Volo]

Ian: What is this?

PJ: Umm... Paper.

Ian: What? This is... pawhat?

PJ: Well, you know... Pa-per.

Ian: This? This is paper?

PJ: Yes... I definitely think that is paper.

Ian: No way! You can't be serious!

PJ: :( Yea, I'm not. That is really a three headed pink bunny.

Ian: Oh. Yeah. I knew it! :p

[Boromir88]

For one last good measure, Ian makes sure there are no jokes, references, off-handed compliments, spouts of wisdom, spouts of wisdom with a hint of humor for comic relief, or anything else of the 'uncloacking' nature~The Ka

Sorry, Miss Ka, I just can't resist it...must do it...

Gandalf: What is this?

PJ: It's a list of restraining orders from everyone you have uncloaked in front of.

Gandalf: You have got to be kidding me?

PJ: Nope, and that's not even all of them, here's the rest of them.

[Formendacil]

PJ (out loud): For your health, and my sanity, please read through the script.

Gandalf/Ian (mentally): For your health, and my sanity, please read through the book!

[The Elf-warrior]

Gandalf: "Hmm... this looks like a good picture."

http://i33.photobucket.com/albums/d78/ShelobsBane/barrow-Wight.jpg

Frodo: "By my sword Whatever It's Name, you shall have neither my friends or me!"

[Hookbill the Goomba]

As the Barrow Wight reaches for another glass of Gin, Frodo lets him know that he's had enough.

OR

Frodo: Ah! A fly! Don't move!

OR yet!

Assuming it's (from left to right) Sam, Pippin and Merry...

Merry dreams that he is reciting the national anthem of the Shire.

[Boromir88]

Frodo takes a hack at the Barrow's hand.

Barrow: Ouch that really hurt, I was just trying to get the sword my cousin borrowed yesterday.

Frodo: Aren't you an evil barrow-wight?

Barrow: We are so misunderstood just because a few wights like to make hobbit sacrifices, doesn't mean all of us like to.

Frodo: I'm terribly sorry for the mistake, but what do you expect me to do if I see a large, clawy snake like hand slithering into the room.

Barrow: Next time do some research before you just go trying to hack off people's hands.

[Eonwe]

Frodo: Gosh I hope this ceiling is high enough fro the sword!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

The novelty hand shaped green night-light Sam liked was really starting to get on Frodo's nerves!

OR

B-W: What about their heads? They don't need those!

[Rikae]

BW: The camera batteries are dead. Where's the *beep* recharger?

Frodo: How much longer do I have to pose like this? My back is sore!

[High King Fingolfin]

Barrow-Wight: OK Frodo, you can put the sword down now!

Frodo: No! You first gave me a huge neg-rep than banned me for life!

[Gothmog]

Terry Slogan? (http://forum.barrowdowns.com/showthread.php?t=12692)

The Barrow Downs: Not for easily scared hobbits!

The Barrow Downs: Don't dress in wight!

The Barrow Downs: Where the wights are too short for sleep!

The Barrow Downs: Where the the green hobbits dwell.

The Barrow Downs: Some sacrifice their personal life, free time and time with friends. Others sacrifice their friends...

The Barrow Downs: Don't bite (or slice) the hand that feeds you!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

The Barrow Wight wants another high five from Sam. Frodo has had enough.

OR

The Sackvill Baginses were going to extreme lengths to get Bag End. Even if it meant taking it piece by piece.

[Mithalwen]

Moments later the Barrow-wight's dreams of playing Ravel's Concerto for the Left Hand at the Wigmore Hall would be dashed forever...

[Maeggaladiel]

Frodo takes the term "Hands off" quite literally.

OR

Frodo began to grow weary of the Adams Family's strange pet wandering into their campsite.


OR


"Confound you, Barrow-Wight! I won't let you close this thread!"

OR

Frodo tries to hack into the Barrow-Wight's user account.

[Gil-Galad]

http://image.com.com/gamespot/images/2004/screen0/918989_20040814_screen001.jpg

Gondor Knight: Hey guys have you seen that troll we are looking for?...guys?

[The Elf-warrior]

Gondorian knight: "I told you beware the Ides of March!"

[The Only Real Estel]

Here in the wasteland(ish) the Knights of Gondor encountered...*dun dun duh!* The Unusually Long-Armed Troll!" :eek:

[Hookbill the Goomba]

The annual Gondorian horse balancing act was ruined by a bored audience member.

OR

Never ask for directions from the The Unusually Long-Armed Troll(TM).

[narfforc]

From the Troll Book of Tactics

1. To get into the swing of things, before a battle a Troll must go on Knight Manouevres.

2. If you are forced into jousting, use a bigger stick, a tree will do, however make sure there are no elvish types hugging it.

3. Always take a can-opener, it will come in useful when having your victory lunch.

[Kath]

The Gondorians began to realise that perhaps wooden horses weren't the best steeds.

[doom_hammer]

let this be a warning of why not to interbreed frogs with horses

[ninja91]

Troll: NO MORE MUTTON!!!

[Farael]

Back in the third age, the Gondoreans were already playing their (very) primitive form of baseball... and they already had problems with steroids.

[Maeggaladiel]

Gosh, NOTHING spooks these horses.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

The rider at the front - who is blind and def - would soon coin the phrase "ignorance is bliss".

[Gurthang]

Troll: "Argh! I hate poorly rendered games!"

OR

These Gondorian horsemen made the awful mistake of standing in front of a troll... while he was teeing of for the third hole.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Coming up tonight on Chanel 4, The Worlds most laid back horses.

[mormegil]

Troll: Go go Gadget Arms!

[Rikae]

The highjump event would have been ruined when the fence was stolen, but proceeded as scheduled, thanks to the helpfulness of T.U.L.A.T. (TM).

[The Only Real Estel]

I couldn't resist...


While visiting the most sought-after princess around, many Gondorian Knights would find out that the "Mr. Pillow-Pants" troll was not a myth...

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

With the amount of money spend on the LotR films, the outcome was rather disapointing

[Brinniel]

Soldiers: The eagles are coming! The eagles are...oh wait...it's just another picture.

http://www.ninecompanions.net/funnypics/final/sam_spit.JPG

Hoping to win over Rosie Cotton, Sam practices his kissing face in the mirror.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

While Sam does a monkey impression, claiming it to be Aragorn, Pippin tries to tell Sam that he is behind him.

OR

Sam: *Plurrrppp*. Darn! I never did get the hang of this whistling malarkey.

[Holbytlass]

wwwhhhhoooooooooo lives in a pineapple under the sea?....

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Pippin stared in wonder as Sam tried to defeat a Nazgul by blowing on it

[Farael]

The fires on Minas Tirith were spreading far and wide, and yet Sam unabated tried to blow them off all by himself.

[Mithalwen]

Sam and Pippin recreate the Laurel and Hardy classic:


Sam (singing) - "Oh June, like the mountains I'm bluuuuuuuuuue."

[ninja91]

One of the many terrible adventuring diseases hits Samwise: disentery

[Volo]

Sam had a dream about an Octoroc. The local psychiatrist was rather interested in this and asked Sam to imitate the Octoroc. Soon after Sam was sent to a mental hospital.

[ninja91]

Sam had a dream about an Octoroc. The local psychiatrist was rather interested in this and asked Sam to imitate the Octoroc. Soon after Sam was sent to a mental hospital.

You mean that octopus thing from Zelda?!
Good one.

How about this:

Merry: Happy birthday to you!

[Volo]

Merry: Happy birthday to you!

Sam had drunk so much ale earlier this evening that he thought his birthdaycake candles were in the opposite direction.

[Maeggaladiel]

Sam is so busy admiring Gandalf's fireworks display that he doesn't notice Merry setting his hair on fire.


OR


In order to lure Smeagol off the cliffs above them, Sam puts on his best "Tasty Fish" impersonation.

[The Only Real Estel]

Though on the Quest Sam often "found himself in trouble & didn't know right from wrong" he was having a bit of trouble with the "give a little whistle" part of it...

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Pippin decides not to tell Sam that his back is on fire even when he says "Is it just me or is it getting warm?"

OR

After The Lord of the Rings, Sean Austen knew his next role would be in a Gangster film, he now practices the kiss of Death.

[The Only Real Estel]

Sam does his best puffer fish impression.

[Gurthang]

Sam thought fire-eating would be a fun hobby, but then something went terribly wrong. :eek:

[Hookbill the Goomba]

It was another ten seconds before Sam realised that someone had stolen his straw.

[High King Fingolfin]

Sam's new plastic surgery wasn't turning out too well.

[Holbytlass]

Sam: If you breathe like this *woooh hoooh* then Aragorn's stench isn't so bad.

[mormegil]

We find here the real reason the Nazgul were to be so feared, not because they were intimidating physically or possessed any exeptional battle prowess, but rather they riddled their opponents to death.

Nazgul: I'll wager you cannot cover your nostrils with your upper lip.

Sam: Oh I bet I can...just you wait.

or

Sam's battle face wasn't as imposing as others.

or

Pippin: HE DID IT! He stopped the Nazgul and it's so beautiful!

Frodo: IT'S MAGNUM!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Sam kisses the old picture good bye, and welcomes the NEW one.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v604/hukbillgoomba/Crazy%20captions/OrcNose.jpg

Orc: Whoever stole my nose had better own up now! :mad:

OR

This Orc is embarrassed because he has to wear the jumper his grandmother knitted for him.

[ninja91]

Orc: Remind me never to get a warg at the pet shop...

[narfforc]

Big Orc: The rules state:

1. Anyone lagging behind gets beaten

2. Any falling out gets their behind eaten, Buuuurrrrp.

3. The Orc Boss must fight off Anorexia, with lots of success.

[Holbytlass]

The real Humpty Dumpty crime scene photos

[Rikae]

Michael Jackson was so depressed over gaining weight and losing his hair he decided to get "just one more" nose job.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

After letting the Ring go, Bilbo found that, not only did time catch up with him, but it went a little too fast. :eek:

OR

Off screen Orc: And don't let me catch you hanging around those Goblin twins again!

Orc: Yes mum. :(

[Brinniel]

Orc: Has anyone seen my face?

[The Only Real Estel]

Orc: "What do you mean I need to do a better job trimming up my moustache??"

[elronds_daughter]

Orc: (pouting) Why don't I get to go in front? They never let me go in front. Never mind how many times I've gotten my face squashed when I've fallen down and got trampled over... they don't think about that. They only think about them. Never mind that I like falling down and getting my face squashed. They just want to get their faces squashed. Nobody cares anything about me and what I want...

[doom_hammer]

orc: if you think im ugly you should see my dad.

[Volo]

The one and only person who survived being posessed and released by a Thing

[Hookbill the Goomba]

yet another victim of exploding moustache syndrome!

[The Only Real Estel]

Nasal decongestion gone bad...

[THE Ka]

Orc:*snort* That plastic surgery is sooo last season...



~ Ka

[The Elf-warrior]

Orc: "Where's the little maggot who called me an egghead?"

[Parmastahir]

"The next time I pick my nose, I'll put my sword down!"

[High King Fingolfin]

All right, who took my mascara before I was done with it?

[Saurreg]

The late Marlon Brando's cameo never made it pass the cutting room floor.

[narfforc]

Latest paparazzi pictures of Shelobs boyfriend Heblob on his last night out before marriage/being eaten by The Big Beautiful Black Widow.

[Valesse]

After a long day of marching and making gutteral throat noises "Heblob" decided he was long due for a visit to the spa.

OR

He might not be a looker to our standards, but he was prom king at Morgul High!

[Maeggaladiel]

Orc offscreen 1: Poor Grishnuk lost his nose in a fight.

Orc offscreen 2: How does he smell?

Orc offscreen 1: AWFUL!

Orcs offscreen: BWAHAHAHA!!!!

Grishnuk: I swear, if you guys make that joke ONE MORE TIME...

[CaptainofDespair]

The Half-Orc Barbarian stares on in deep concentration, hoping his Roll for Initiative succeeds.

[The Only Real Estel]

Hey, he said he'd burn his nose off of he didn't get a new picture soon... :p

[Brinniel]

Alright....this is for you, TORE. :p

I can't resist but to post this:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v216/TolkienElf/Lord%20of%20the%20Rings/Lord%20of%20the%20rings%202/BoromirmitSonnenbrille.jpg

Boromir's new fashion obsession. :D

[Hookbill the Goomba]

The only reason Boromir was in the Fellowship was because Elrond didn't want people to start saying he discriminated against the blind... again.

OR

Boromir doesnt want anyone to see that he fell for the old 'ink in the binoculars' trick.

[The Only Real Estel]

Hearing that Hugo Weaving was going to be on set, Boromir wanted to impress him with his best 'Agent Boromir' look.

[Bêthberry]

Sean Bean, Englishman, resorts to a disability device to help accomodate himself to something he'd rarely seen, sunshine.

[Saurreg]

Boromir's Stevie Wonder impersonation was well loved by all in Gondor

[narfforc]

Boromir: I must return to Gondor, I have been gone too long, for when I last looked upon the fair White City of Minas Tirith things looked very dark indeed.

Pippin: Have you tried it without the glasses.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

During the 3D special edition of The Lord of the Rings, Sean comes out feeling a little ripped off.

Bean: 3D indeed! These glasses are useless.

OR

Boromir: No matter how fiery Sauron's eye is, I can now combat it! :smokin: