Crazy Captions

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Gollum and Mr Orc are suprised at the new girl's ability to use the inviso-mouse.

OR

Bridget Jones Diary
Monday 30th April
Cigarettes 10, Weight 120 Lbs.

Realised today how rough Cleaver looks in a morning. Not quite so keen now, actually. But then Darcy isn't such a looker when he has a hangover either. Only thing to do was to resort to family sized tub of Haagen Dazs.

Orc: You know, there is a reason you're not supposed to use your blog at work. We can see what you're typing.

[HerenIstarion]

Girl in chair to herself (reading Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964)
harassment... well, form of sexual discrimination... mmm... are fishes sexual...? they are surely discriminating, seeing as I'm vegetarian and they both know it... surely violates... can I sue them and use the picture as evidence?... 'twas a good idea to install a hidden camera... but this Act says nothing about fish... pity camera doesn't record smell...

[HerenIstarion]

Seems like the thread needs reviving :)

http://images.allmoviephoto.com/2001_Lord_of_the_Rings:_The_Fellowship_of_the_Ring/viggo_mortensen_the_lord_of_the_rings_the_fellowsh ip_of_the_ring_001.jpg

Aragorn (thinking): Should have remembered Rangers' wisdom... the one about never taking beans for a foodstuff when traveling with hobbits... or at least not camping in caves!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

http://i14.tinypic.com/6gth5kg.jpg

Aragorn: I need to find that tall stone wall that sort of leans back on itself.

Frodo: Erm... Strider...

Aragorn: Not now. I need to find that wall...

OR

Aragorn prepares to open the trap door. Who will drop? :p

[Legate of Amon Lanc]

Photographer: Good, Viggo, stand this way... head a little bit up... now that's a nice pose... just a moment...
Merry: I see our star is preparing something for the fan girls once again. Meanwhile, let's get a little drink!

OR

Sam uses a metal detector to find the Ring Frodo dropped.

OR

Sam (after an hour of running around Weathertop with the metal detector): Okay, Strider, you convinced me. I'm going to believe you.
Aragorn: Right. Now the next time, please, believe me when I tell you that the Morgul-knife's blade has disappeared.

OR

Sam (holding the motion tracker): I got movement! Northwest, fifteen meters!
Frodo: Where? I can't see anything up there!
Merry: Let them come and I'll hit them with this barrel.
Aragorn: Now where the heck did I come to?

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Aragorn was rather annoyed after the hobbits made him take a hughe detour for some non-existing cave paintings.

[Kitanna]

Aragorn was going for the record of non-bathing, little did he know Pippin was getting ready with the bucket...

or

Aragorn proved he was unfit as a guard when the Hobbits made off with $500 worth of merchandise.

[Boo Radley]

Sam: "You ever notice that Strider always gets those strange, far off looks whenever it's time to set up camp?"

Pippin: "Aye. He's deep, that one."

Merry: Lazy arse if you ask me..."

Stider: "I HEARD THAT!"

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Merry wants to go at Strider with both barrels. :rolleyes:

OR

Frodo is unimpressed with Sam's attempts at shadow puppets.

[narfforc]

Aragorn points out to H-I and Hookbill that they are in danger of prosecution for breaking the copyright once again, Merry is loading up the explosive to destroy the illegal picture, Frodo is looking for the best point to place it, Pippin has run away due to the fact that Sam in playing with the detenation unit.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Aragorn points out to Hookbill that he is in danger of prosecution for breaking the copyright once again

I think you'll find that H-I posted the picture before me, but it was unusable by some people so I had to post the new version. :p

Now for a caption...

Sam is disappointed at the lack of signal he gets on his mobile telephone.

[narfforc]

Is that Sam who is disappointed? or is Frodo checking the mast sticking out of Aragorns back, ;) :rolleyes: :)

[Legate of Amon Lanc]

Frodo just notices that Strider has a katana stabbed in his back.

OR

Aragorn (slowly raising hand): no, no, no, YOU HAVE LOST!!! (unleashes Force Lightning on the observer)

[Boo Radley]

Pippin: "Strider! Merry keeps trying to take the barrel away from me!"

Merry: "Am not! Am not! Am not!"

Strider: "Don't make me come back there, because you'll both be sorry if I do!"

Or...

Back at the Himalayan base camp, Strider realizes he should have spent the extra couple of bucks and hired the Sherpa guides...

[Lalaith]

The band spent a fortune on the coolest, moodiest photographer around, but it still couldn't make up for all those studio rows over creative differences. Wild Men on Weathertop was just destined to be that difficult second album.

[shieldmaiden4xsword]

For the first time, the hobbits realize that they can control Aragorn through the antennae stuck through his back.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Merry wonders if Strider's head will fit in the barrel...

OR

Just before he yells 'NAZGUL!' Aragorn is struck speechless as the black riders begin to do a strange dance...

[shieldmaiden4xsword]

As Aragorn dreams of Arwen, he doesn't notice the hobbits plotting behind his back.

[Lalwendë]

Everyone except Pippin politely turns away as Samwise prepares to take a leak.

[Parmastahir]

Frodo: "Hello, what's this? 'For a good time, call Arwen @ RIvendell 1'"

Aragorn: "Whaaaattttt?"

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Strider: So, what do you think of my place?

Frodo: Erm... Interesting 'wallpaper'?

[Parmastahir]

Pipping (loudly): "MORE ALE!"

Sam: "Don't tell me you've finished that keg already!"

Strider (thinking to himself): "Methinks it time to call an exterminator. These dratted Hobbits have eaten me out of house and home!"

[Hookbill the Goomba]

http://i1.tinypic.com/4kktb3d.jpg

Saruman: Can't you Uruks leave me alone for five minutes? I'm having lunch!

OR

Saruman: Who ordered the five million burgers?

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Before Saruman realised the great powers of his voice he thought they all came from his magic-cheeseburger. (with extra cheese)

or

Before Saruman became a wizard he was a health-councelor!

Saruman: Do not eat fast food it gives you gas!

But not necisarily a very good one. . .

[Bêthberry]

Saruman enunciates on how the golden arches bring forth happy buns.

OR

Saruman comes up with the idea for a McPalantir.

OR

Wormtongue realises that Saruman is a burglar king, having ripped off the idea for lembuns from the elves.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Saruman's early attempts at 'magic' weren't all that impressive...

Saruman: Watch as I make this burger disappear... Close your eyes...

[Legate of Amon Lanc]

Saruman: "A new Power is rising! Its victory is at hand, and there will be rich reward for those that aided it. We can bide our time, we can keep our thoughts in our hearts, deploring maybe evils done by the way, but approving the high and ultimate purpose: enough food for all nations. There need not be, there would not be, any real change in our designs, only in our means. We must join with McDonald's."

OR, more drastic:

"MARCH!!! There will be no dawn for KFC!"

[Brinniel]

Saruman realises how powerful McDonald's really is.

Uruks: *gather around and start chanting* Food! Food! Food!

Saruman: C'mon guys, I only bought a Big Mac for myself. Did you really think I could afford burgers for all of you? Now go...eat each other...or something like that. I want to enjoy my McDonald's in peace!

Wormtongue: What?! You didn't get anything for me? But I specifically asked for a Happy Meal! :mad:

[Mithalwen]

Grima wonders why the stick Saruman got with his happy meal was so much bigger than his.

[The Might]

Free burger for anyone who survives at Helm's Deep!

OR

For I am Saruman the Hungry, Saruman Burger-Maker, Saruman of Many Calories! Bow before me.

OR

Saruman: While I have been eating these delicious burgers, Grima here had Lotho for lunch.
Grima: I hate you!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Saruman: Who redecorated Orthank? :mad:

OR

Saruman: When I said 'super size' I meant I want a burger this big!

[The Elf-warrior]

Saruman: "Did somebody defame McDonald's?"

[Parmastahir]

Saruman to the uruk-hai: "We're fresh out of man-flesh. For dinner, you may have a cheeseburger, a hard-boiled egg on a stick, or a toasted marshmallow. Hold that up a little higher for them to see, Grima!"

[Finduilas]

Editor looking over his footage: What!!!! Now I understand what they were laughing at...

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Grima is much disapointed that Saruman prefers McDonalds over Burger King and therefor is no true hip-hopper

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Saruman thinks that starving his Uruks and then eating in front of them will make them tougher. Grima thinks different...

OR

Saruman: What do you mean? There is not food in Orthank! You're all crazy!

[The Might]

Saruman: Okay...who of you stole my fries?
Grima: Don't forget about the drink master...

[FeRaL sHaDoW]

Saruman: who ate the rest of my happy meal

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Saruman: Who replaced my Palantir with this? :mad:

OR

Saruman: Soon, we will turn Rohan into the biggest fast food restaurant ever seen!

[Thenamir]

"None shall be able to stand before the combined fat-content of McMordor's and Isenburger-King!"

"...an army created with a single purpose: to clog the arteries of the world of men."

[The Sixth Wizard]

Saruman: I need something to get these orcs moving! Lazy fatties...

Grima: "To war" sir?

Saruman: No no, I have a better idea... (shouts) TO THE STORE!!

OR

None can resist the grease of Saruman...

[THE Ka]

Saruman: Pickles?! Now it's tainted!! Henceforth all prospecting cucumbers and vile pickles alike shall be scorged from the earth!

Grima: *Ahem*

Saruman: Oh yeah... Be sure to keep a look out for pesky hobbits, and that ring thing. Now leave me to craft a new and glorious sandwich!

~ not gone Ka

[Lalwendë]

Saruman makes use of his Arts degree: "Do you want fries with that?"

[Valesse]

Saruman in mid coughing fit from the shock of consuming man-flesh due to a mistake made by the new orkish employee in his personal Mikky-D's.

[Oddwen]

Saruman: Good Uruk! You shall have a prize! Now open your mouth, like this. *chucks hamburger*

[Kitanna]

Priest Saruman and Alter Boy Grima of the Church of McDonald's was really something to see...

[Maeggaladiel]

After failing in their plans to aid Sauron in world domination, Grima and Saruman open a drive-thru for Oiliphaunt riders and live happily ever after:

"YOUR CHEESEBURGER, SIR! HAVE A NICE DAY, OR ELSE!!"

[The Elf-warrior]

http://i33.photobucket.com/albums/d78/ShelobsBane/nazgul1.jpg

Nazgul: "I am Witch-King, son of Wikipedia. If by life or death I can slay you, I will."

[Hookbill the Goomba]

The Nazgul accidentally left the camera's auto timer on for 30 minutes instead of 30 seconds. He was asleep when this was taken.

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Sorry but this photo creeps me out/Scares me too much for me to think of anything funny to say about it.

[Thenamir]

Aside: Actually, this isn't the witch-king. WK's sword is slightly different than the others, having a curved and smooth guard rather than a straight and lumpy one. This is a garden-variety Nazgul.

No one will get this one unless I'm not the only IBM mainframe programmer on the Downs:
"This face intentionally left blank."

Udun Dating Video Service: "Tall, dark, and handsome...two out of three ain't bad."

"They said that if I could pull this sword from this stone I'd be the ruddy king of England. Daft buggers..."

"Since I'm invisible, my manicurist can't see my nails -- that's why I have to wear these gloves."

"Alright, alright, who am I now? <strikes pose> 'None shall pass!'"

[Legate of Amon Lanc]

"I always wear this hood so Sauron does not see that I am making faces at him."

[Aganzir]

The spirit of Leonardo da Vinci banished Mona Lisa from the original painting after she had started to listen to heavy music.

[Thinlómien]

The actor playing a nazgûl had almost as many facial expressions as Keanu Reeves.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

After the fall of Sauron, it was hard for some to get new jobs. This Nazgul is waiting to sign up to sell the Big Issue.

[Legate of Amon Lanc]

"Please, give alms to the war-veteran of Morannon..."

OR

"You think I look the same like when you saw me last time, eh? Back then, I was wearing black cloak with black hood. You should know, however, that this is totally different black cloak and totally different black hood!"

[The Might]

All were amazed when they saw TM's great Halloween costume.

OR

After the LotR DVD sales starting going down, the Nazgul were forced to search for new workplaces, such as becoming models.

[Elmo]

The Witch-King fails to pull the sword out of the stone so instead of becoming king of Britian he becomes the prime minister.

Tony Blair Witch, anyone? You heard it here first.

[The Sixth Wizard]

Yes, THIS is what heroin users end up looking like... Be warned.

(and of course they end up using needles THAT BIG)

[THE Ka]

After the Sauron experience, many Nazgul had to resort to cheap positions on the DIY network, or the multitude of 'chopper' spin offs...

Nazgul: ...And today we're gonna show how you too can restore the glory days to your armory!

~ a good laugh Ka

[Parmastahir]

"Sorry, I'm not happy to see you. It was just a sword in my pants."

[Lalwendë]

1975 and the Witch-King stands proudly outside the Angmar branch of Orcs-R-Us with his brand new Pogo Stick. Tomorrow, we bring you a photo of Sauron with his new Space Hopper.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

http://i7.tinypic.com/540ij4z.jpg

Witch King: Now, where is that city?

OR

Witch King: I knew I shouldn't have chosen the manically depressed horse.

[Legate of Amon Lanc]

Witch-King: How did I deserve to be in this thread twice in a row?

OR

Witch-King: Not again! Someone keeps doing inbelievable mess here! Look at these rocks - someone has moved one of them! They have to stay in alignement!

OR

Witch-King: I got a funny feeling that I have a fork in my nose.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Witch-King: I got a funny feeling that I have a fork in my nose.

W-K (cont'd): ... But I don't know where my nose is...

[narfforc]

As The Morgul-lord leaves his city, he begins to wish he had chose to travel on a Nazgul Airways flight, the seat he was was on was a little uncomfortable due to the orc armourer taking the words 'I want spikes everywhere', quite literally..... ouch :eek:

[Legate of Amon Lanc]

WK (to the horse): No--no- don't do it--- don't bend your head backwards - AWWW!!!

OR

WK (realizes the road disappears among rocks): *Ahem* Hey-hoo, erm, turn around, soldiers, that was just a drill. Now turn around, we'll take the real road to Osgiliath.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

The Witch King is stunned to find that the fabled phantom City Painter has struck Minas Morgul while he was away.

W-K: "Curse you! I want a black and green city! How is it supposed to look meanacing now?"

[Lalwendë]

It was Mischief Night again and the Witch King set out in fury to find the pesky kids who'd bombed his house in eggs and flour.

[Oddwen]

WK: Will someone please tell me why my steed's armor is more impressive than my weapon? I'm not going to be smiting people with my horse!

[The Sixth Wizard]

Witch-King: Stop here Prancer, let me smite this here rat! Oh darn, stupid ... mace too small... *guh* *ungh* *falls off*

[The Might]

The Wk is having a picture of him with the city in the background taken before he starts the siege.

OR

Didn't those Orcs think that putting spikes on my horse's head is more dangerous to me then to the enemy?

OR

The Wk plans to attack Minas Tirith with his can opener.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

The Witch King tries desperately to get his horse to concentrate on the interesting stones, rather than the sky.

[mormegil]

The W-k was dumbfounded that nobody in all of Gondor wanted any of his high quality Cutco knives.

[Parmastahir]

"And so ends our tour of 'The Most Haunted Castles of Mordor' at terrifying Minas Morgul. We hope you have enjoyed the show and to see you here again very soon! I have been your host, The Witch King."

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

The Witch-King didn't even notice that he was being followed by a mysterious city.

[narfforc]

The Witch-king presents the opening ceremony of the Mordor Winter Olympics as the contestants ski down the giant Morgul Slalom Slope, then Langlauf past with tribal banners.

[The Might]

The Wk is very happy after getting his horse back from "Pimp my ride".
Especially the flipdown 17'' monitor is great.

OR

Gandalf's uncloaking joke ruins Wk's birthday party, and all the guests go back home.

[Gurthang]

While in transit to Minas Tirith, the Witch King took a wrong turn and somehow ended up in Iceland.

Witch-King: "Blasted MapQuest!"

[The Only Real Estel]

The Fast and the Furious - Middle Earth style!

[Lalwendë]

Lord Lucan and Shergar leave Oz incognito.

[Legate of Amon Lanc]

SCREEN:

"Minas Morgul" - Necropolis

Select Witch-King (in garrison)

Do you really want to upgrade your troops from Black Riders to Death Knights?

[shieldmaiden4xsword]

WK: We will defeat, and there will be man flesh for you, my orcs!!!

the Witch King unfortunately didn't know that the rest hadn't followed him.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Orc1: Why has the witch King not moved in three hours? Why is he crying?

Orc2: Midlife crisis.

[Gil-Galad]

WK: I am trying to find the masters Ring and where do i end up? sieging the biggest city on Middle-Earth! thanks alot Map-Quest...

[Thenamir]

Methinks it's time for a new pic:
http://forum.barrowdowns.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=464

EDIT: Darnit, how do you make the image appear in the post instead of just a link???

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Well, if you upload the picture onto an image.... uploading... place... then use the html code like so:

[IMG]http://www.goodpicture.com/badpicture.jpg [ /IMG]

I sugest using Tinypic.com (http://www.tinypic.com)

[Gil-Galad]

Methinks it's time for a new pic:
http://forum.barrowdowns.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=464

EDIT: Darnit, how do you make the image appear in the post instead of just a link???

Thenamir has shown us his weakness! we must strike now!!!


personally i use Image Shack (http://www.imageshack.us)

[Hookbill the Goomba]

http://i10.tinypic.com/4viulph.jpg

Frodo: Ah Ha! I got the last Cheerio! :D

OR

It was several minutes before Frodo realised that, once again, someone had stolen the silver bit from the middle of his £2 coin.

[Estelyn Telcontar]

Frodo: My wizard went to Mt. Doom and all he bought me was this cheesy ring!

(Perhaps Sauron's printed T-shirts would have been less dangerous! :eek: )

[Legate of Amon Lanc]

Frodo: Mwahahaha! I have the Ring, no one can withstand me now! Just wait, Gummi-bears!

OR

Frodo: Sisyphos was a loser. I cheated Mandos by making this millstone shrink.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Frodo is ecstatic that he has the last piece of soap in all of Mordor!

[Lalwendë]

Frodo: "Ohhhhhohoh! You're my wife now!"

Sam: "Why do we have to put up with your pathetic Papa Lazarou impression every time you pick up that flamin' ring?!"

[Volo]

Frodo is ecstatic that he has the last piece of soap in all of Mordor!
And then came the hardest moment of Frodo's life: He had to decide which cheek to wash with the soap.

[Lalwendë]

And then came the hardest moment of Frodo's life: He had to decide which cheek to wash with the soap.

It was even worse than he thought! Gollum suddenly piped up: "Masster! I has washed both sets of my cheekses with that nassty soap."

[The Only Real Estel]

Frodo: "Sam! The letters in my alphabet soup have formed to make a message to me! It says: 'Oooooooo'."

Sam: "Frodo, those are cheerios."

Frodo: ..................*picks up cheerio* "Make a fool out of me will you?!?!"

[narfforc]

Frodo: Why is it that every set of self-assembly shelves from Ikea has a piece you can't identify?

[FeRaL sHaDoW]

Frodo grabbed for his sword from his belt and pulled it out, sadly it was not his sword but the pin of his grenade

[Hookbill the Goomba]

While Sauron struggled to get his new war machine to work, Frodo gloats over stealing the most important part from under the bonnet.

OR

Frodo was a notorious cheat at Tiddly-winks.

[Lalwendë]

Frodo: "I have foiled you Captain Barbossa! I have the last piece of cursed Aztec Gold and I am going to cast it into Mount Doom instead!"

[Holbytlass]

Chef Frodo's Hell's Kitchen:

You donkey! I said I wanted al dente Spagetti O's!

[Lalwendë]

Frodo Sugar: "You mean you wasted my investment of 500 groats on this toot? Celebrimbor, you're fired!"

[Hookbill the Goomba]

For hours, Frodo had been trying to melt ants with the magnifying glass, only to be told by Sam that the 'glass' bit had been removed.

[Elmo]

Aha! So you weren't please to see me, it really was a ring in your pocket.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

It was only seconds later that Frodo realised that Smeagol had swapped the Ring for a hula-hoop (http://www.ilovecrisps.com/images/114.jpg).

[The Only Real Estel]

Frodo: "It was Professor Plum, in the Kitchen...with the lead pipe!"

Sam: "Uh, that's not a lead pipe."

Frodo: "I know. Gollum bent it when he lost the last game so we recycled it."

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Frodo is so ocupied by the Ring that he dosen't notice the fly on his head.

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

It was in that moment Frodo realised the second and less known way to destroy the one ring! Squishing it between two fingers.

[The Elf-warrior]

Frodo: "Yes, Sam, this Ring is the keystone of my evil plan, which I don't mind explaining to you since you will die anyway. Gollum, show him the first slide."

http://i33.photobucket.com/albums/d78/ShelobsBane/Ted_Nasmith_-_Transformed.jpg

Beren: "I have a bad feeling about this!"
"
Luthien: "Chin up, Beren! Dark lord fortresses always have a weakness or two somewhere."

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

A little known tale of Beren and Luthien is that on their way to Angban they got into a fierce argument about whether or not Luthien looked fat as a bat.

[Bêthberry]

davem and Lalwende try on their new costumes for this year's Oxenmoot.

[THE Ka]

Luthien: Don't loose heart! I can see the dark fortress already!

Beren: Not to be of disappointment, but how can you actually see where you're going?

Luthien: ...You mean to say I'm blind as a bat? Well that's rather bland, y'know...

~ Just nature Ka

[The Sixth Wizard]

A little known tale of Beren and Luthien is that on their way to Angban they got into a fierce argument about whether or not Luthien looked fat as a bat.

Does my tail look big in this? :D

[mormegil]

Luthien had no idea what a chauvinist Beren was until he transformed into a wolf and began marking his property....chase ensued.

[Lalwendë]

davem and Lalwende try on their new costumes for this year's Oxenmoot.

Who's the dog? :D

***

Across the fair meads of an Oxford college lawn fled the frightened, costumed Oxonmooters as accountants from Southampton and woodwork teachers from Wrexham donned foot merkins and began to dance the Springle Ring...

[Oddwen]

In the future, WW games will still take place - though because of time restraints and lack of original plots, there will be only two people playing.

SPM: Wait...you're the WereBat??

tp: What, we're both Gifteds? Modperson!!!!!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

It wasn't for another twelve minutes that Luthien would realise that it wasn't Beren she was trying to give a hug to, but an ordinary wolf.

OR

Luthien: I swear! The fish was THIS big!

Baeren: Pfft. Yeah, whatever you say.

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Luthien: What do you mean "this is not how a vampire is supposed to look" ?

[Lalwendë]

Luthien: "Call me a daft old bat again if you dare! Dogbreath!"

[Brinniel]

Beren and Luthien did not realise glowing blue eye sockets would be a side effect of the transformation until too late...

[Gil-Galad]

Luthien: We are going to miss the Transformers opening! i told you we should have asked directions when we were in Tol-In-Guaroth...

Beren: ...

[Hookbill the Goomba]

It was only a few minutes later that Beren realised that the only reason Luthien followed him into deepest peril was that he had a piece of delicious cheese stuck to his leg.

OR

Beren and Luthien demand a refund for their make-over.

[Legate of Amon Lanc]

In the Lay of Leithian there was no mention that Beren and Lúthien read too often Franz Kafka.

[Lalwendë]

Luthien angrily chases Beren out of the local park after noticing he did not 'scoop'.

[Elmo]

"When you said you wanted to dress up Luthien, this isn't what I had in mind!"

[Lalwendë]

Luthien: "You might be wearing a wolf-hame but it does not give you any excuse to cock your leg on my prize hemlocks!"

[Valesse]

Luthien: You remembered to turn off the oven, didn't you? And the stove, right? You checked the stove..? What about the coffee maker? Hm? The water heater? I seriously hope you didn't leave that running somehow... OH! The toaster! Eru there'll be nothing left!!
Beren: ...I want you to stop talking until you realize exactly what you look like.

OR

And somewhere far in the distance "Eye of the Tiger" was starting to play...

[Lalwendë]

Secrets of Middle-earth #765

Christopher Tolkien didn't decipher his dad's handwriting correctly. He thought he was writing about the fea. In fact he was writing about the terrible infestation of fleas that Beren and Luthien carried across Beleriand.

[Oddwen]

Luthien: "You might be wearing a wolf-hame...


Luthien: Wolf hame? More like wolf lame!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Middle Earth's first Crime Fighting Duo!

[The Only Real Estel]

A little known tale of Beren and Luthien is that on their way to Angban they got into a fierce argument about whether or not Luthien looked fat as a bat.

Luthien: "Yes I do look fat!"

Beren: "No you don't - you don't even have a shadow!"

[Kath]

Luthien: "Yes I do look fat!"

Beren: "No you don't - you don't even have a shadow!"
Luthien: "Oh, so now you're saying I'm too thin?!"

Beren: Wha-? :confused:

[Lalwendë]

Instead of playing that old favourite childhood game of "Dinner dinner dinner dinner, dinner dinner dinner dinner, Batman!" Beren and Luthien decided to play "Dinner supper luncheon brekkie, dinner supper luncheon brekkie, Batelf!"

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Beren: Look, if we just turn left up here, I'm sure Angband is just over the next ridge!

Luthien: Oh for goodness sake! Let's have a new picture!

http://i13.tinypic.com/4kbizrq.jpg

Tolkien: "In a tower block in London there lived a Hobbit." What do you think?

Edith: Erm... Do you think 'In a hole in the ground' would be better?

OR

Tolkien: What are you doing in my house?

[Oddwen]

Professor: You wish to caption me? Well, I am flattered, but isn't your time better spent doing something more constructive?

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Tolkien's thoughts as this photo was taken just after LotR was released: If I pretend to care about this rubbish then maybe somebody will buy it. . .

[Brinniel]

Tolkien never did like the paparazzi...

Tolkien: Come any closer and I'll stab you with this pen!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

The Professor quickly checks around the room before slipping to the bookcase and pulling the special book that opens the gateway to his secret pipe weed store.

[Lalwendë]

Would you dare to tell this man that the dog ate your homework?

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Would you dare to tell this man that the Balrog ate your homework? :p

[Lalwendë]

Secrets of Middle-earth #731

Just as Tolkien was about to correct the ambiguous description of the Balrog, the Visitor from Porlock called round with his new Box Brownie.

[The Sixth Wizard]

Guy: Professor, Tolkien is it? We're here about the unpaid publishing bills-

JRRT: Go back to the nothingness that awaits you and your dark master!!

OR

JRRT: Blah, this romance stuff is killing me. Maybe I'll just chuck something together with dwarves...

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Would you dare to tell this man that a Balrog flew of with your homework?

[Lalwendë]

Would you dare to tell this man that a wingless balrog had flown away with your metaphorical homework?

[Bêthberry]

Tolkien (to self): "Hee hee! Years from now scholars will scuttle with magnifying glasses over this picture like ants at a picnic trying to read the titles on the book spines. Little will they realise I've confusticated them with false covers."

[Thinlómien]

Tolkien (to an over-eager fan): "Don't come any closer or I'll stab my leg with this pen!"
Fan: *runs away*

[mormegil]

Tolkien: Okay, one more Gandalf uncloaking joke and he'll be out of the book.

or

Tolkien: Alright, who put the tack on my chair?

[Thenamir]

Frodo, decrepit and balding after only a week in the undying lands, realizes too late the truth of what the men of Numenor were told about the Blessed Realm -- that they would only "wither and grow weary the sooner".

[Oddwen]

Nature documentary narrator: And here we have a fine example of the Professoris Supremis. Note the pen in his hand, and the reams of paper before him. Watch as he uses his pen to write upon the paper - oh my, he is gesturing it at us. Could it be some sort of before unseen territorial ritual? My my, see how angry he gets! And now he...my goodness, he's on fire?? OH NO, HE'S GOT WINGS! AAAR*dies*

[Thenamir]

"Hi, I'm John Tolkien. There's nothing I like better than sitting at my desk and writing stories, but after a long day of answering fan mail and beating back rabid fantasy nutcases I don't have anything left. That's why I drink Red Balrog -- it gives you wings!"

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Now, lets see what Lewis has been writing about me... pale? little chap? the? I'll give him a smack or so... Oh, hello Lewis... Erm... Do you want a Jelly Baby?

[Legate of Amon Lanc]

After getting his hands on the Time Machine, Legate decided to visit the Professor at the time he was writing LotR.
Tolkien: Hello. Sit down. I'm about to finish.
Legate: Wow! I'm indeed going to witness this glorious moment!
Tolkien: "...and thus, before Sam could come to his aid, Gollum strangled Frodo and ruled the Middle-Earth ever after."
Legate: Noooo!!!

OR

Harry Potter: Um - where is Professor Dumbledore?

OR

Tolkien: If I hear one more joke about uncloaking, winged or wingless balrogs or Telerian version of Celeborn's name, I will stop writing and you Downers may just disperse to the forums about Beverly Hills 90210!

[Lalwendë]

Secrets of Middle-earth Number 421

The Professor decided to pass the time by picking up his pen and doing a bit of writing. "In a hole in the ground..." he wrote. Well, it was as good a way as any to pass the time until Christmas and the next episode of Doctor Who.

[Morthoron]

Tolkien: Confusticate and bebother that Lewis, he's put Super-glue on my seat again! I should have stayed at Leeds.

[shieldmaiden4xsword]

JRRT, caught by surprise when he was writing, slams his hand down on the page and turns with a fixed smile on his face.

JRRT: No, you can't see what I've written. *blushes*

[Volo]

JRRT, caught by surprise when he was writing, slams his hand down on the page and turns with a fixed smile on his face.

JRRT: No, you can't see what I've written. *blushes*

Tolkien: And to think that I was going to have that part published... :rolleyes: Well, that's that for the extended Beren and Luthien story...

[Lalwendë]

The Professor: "If you want to know what happens to Harry then I'm afraid you've not only got the wrong address but the wrong year, Doctor."

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Tolkien: Ah! You must be here for the new picture, eh?

I'm not sure if we've done this one... I can't seem to find it looking back... Lets go for it...

http://i9.tinypic.com/6642ioy.jpg

Turin: HAY! :mad: ... ... I can see my house from here! :D

OR

The others discuss weather or not it would be a 'hilarious' practical joke if they pushed Turin down.

[Gil-Galad]

Turin: They can take our shiny clothes, but they will never take our shiny helmets!!!

[ninja91]

Dealing with Depression: Elf Edition's tip #37: Being social is the first step towards acceptance.

[narfforc]

At his new job at The Doriath Diggings, Turin ponders why they gave him a sword and not a pick or pneumatic drill to attack the rocks with.

[Legate of Amon Lanc]

(I was just listening to Led Zeppelin "Houses of the Holy")

Túrin:
"There's an angel on my shoulder,
there's a dragon on my head,
I will roll on you that boulder,
and you filth will all be dead, nah nah..."

[The Might]

Turin is angry because the bad weather ruined his plans for a picnic together with the outlaws.

Turin: C'mon boys, maybe another time.
Outlaws: Awww....:(

[Volo]

Turin's new camouflage didn't exactly match with the scenery. Well, then again, he did think that he would lead his army straight into Angband and mimic a pillar with a golden ornament on it. It would have been better for Turin to stay a pessimist.

[Lalwendë]

Turin was up at the crack of dawn on the 21st waiting for the postman to bring the new Harry Potter book.


OR


How one man went to extreme measures to avoid hearing any spoilers about the final Harry Potter book.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

It was set to be his best April Fool's prank ever! Turin waited for the right moment to pull the leaver to open the trap door beneath his comrades. They couldn't not love him after this, so he thought.

OR

At last, after 57 attempts, Turin had struck that pose without stabbing himself in the foot.

[Bêthberry]

Turin ponders why the eagles don't come any more.

[Nogrod]

Túrin: "Oh my God! Why don't you take this cup from me now?"

Túrin had promised them a paradise, a land of their own... just if they'd overcome this one mountain more (metaphorically = beaten this one more enemy of Morgoth the Evil before the everlasting peace and quiet).

"The moon my Lord? What sort of paradise is that?"

*Oh, we weren't in this world* :D

[The Only Real Estel]

Here stands the legendary Wierd-Helmeted, One-Legged Turin

[Volo]

It sure is good to be the one in command. While his brave men are in deadly combat with the Orcs, Turin enjoys the scenery. Though it is, after all, a bit annoying that your servants take so long making your afternoon tea.

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Turin made his men wait for hours as he refused to admit that the sword was stuck in the rock.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Turin ponders why the eagles don't come any more.

He later discovered that they were all at Hotel California.

[Morthoron]

Turin the one-legged soldier
Had to lean upon his blade --
No Elf or dwarf could help him
(as prosthetics were not yet made).

All of the other soldiers
Used to laugh and call him names.
They wouldn't let poor Turin
Play in any warrior games.

Then one day in Doriath
Thingol came to say,
"Melian with your girdle tight,
Oh please help Turin stand up right."

Then all the soldiers loved him
As they watched him marching off with glee.
"Now that Turin can go fight Glaurung,
We will not be history!"

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

The outlaws soon found out that Turin was an exelent weather vane.

[FeRaL sHaDoW]

Turin rides to war on his rock.

[Volo]

Turin rides to war on his rock.
--The first stages of the rock-et by Funnyman Li

[Morsul the Dark]

Turin looks past the horizon: "What astrange dark Wizard, who might he be?"

[The Sixth Wizard]

Turin: (with blank eyes) Exterminate! Exterminate!

OR

Ooh look, something shiny! *falling* AAAAAAAAARRRRGGGGHH ... - Hey, I'm ok! *sword falls on head*

[THE Ka]

Turin amazes all at Calvin Klein when striking his full line of outlaw-abroad clothing and accessories...

Chief Photographer: It's divine!

Turin: *Sigh* Who needs Amon Rûdh after these profits...

Stray outlaw: I dunno about you, but I feel so used!

~Ka

[The Might]

Turin sadly: Now because of that Harry Potter guy nobody wants to read about my life anymore...:(
Outlaws in the background: Do you think Voldemort dies?

[Legate of Amon Lanc]

Túrin and his men wait to ambush Harry Potter.
Túrin: "We'll see if that little boy will be able to face me, son of Húrin, bearer of the Dragon Helm of Dor-Lómin. Beleg, when he comes near, shoot him down from his broom-"
Beleg: "Well, he doesn't have the broom anymore-"
Túrin: "How do you know? - Traitor!!!"

OR

Túrin: "Morgoth! Do you hear me? I have a proposal! Let's make a pact against greater enemy: I bring down that boy and you can smash that thing with funny nostrils, Voldemort!"

[shieldmaiden4xsword]

After 4 hours of speech making, unknown to Turin, his men were beginning to snooze.

[Gil-Galad]

Turin: Behold! a new picture!

http://www.maniacworld.com/Lord-of-the-Rings-parody.jpg

Frodo: Sam, i don't think were in kansa's anymore

[mormegil]

What! Only outhouses! The brochure "Your trip to Mordor" didn't indicate this. It gave the impression that this was a themed resort with world-class amenities.

[narfforc]

'I wouldn't be so lonely and scared if Peter hadn't skipped this chapter when he pretended to read the book'.



'What's that big Gorilla doing here?'




.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Shelob was actually a thousand times scarier to begin with. Here we have Frodo seeing Shelob wearing Lipstick, eyeliner and high heels asking him if he is 'looking for a good time'.
Seconds later Frodo fled back to the Shire and never stopped screaming... Ever.

OR

Frodo witnesses the terror of rap singing Ents.

[FeRaL sHaDoW]

Frodo: GOSH

or

Frodo struts down the cat walk showing off the new spider web sash.

[The Sixth Wizard]

For all those Aussies who may read this and have seen that Qantas ad...

Frodo: I've been to cities that never close down...
Sam (joining in): From New York to Rome, to old London town,
Gollum: But no matter how far, or how wide I roam...
Random Orc: I still call - Mordor - home!
All: I still - call - Mor - dor home!!

(Yes yes, I know that was a bit vague :rolleyes:)

[Lhunardawen]

'Shelob, I know you desperately want a partner, but I'm - not - a - spider.'

[shieldmaiden4xsword]

Frodo just realizes that a bird dropping splatted on his head.

Frodo: Why me? Why me? Why does it always have to be me and not Aragorn?

[The Might]

Frodo desperately tries to find an answer for one of Legate's riddles after beeing challenged to a riddle-game.

[Legate of Amon Lanc]

Frodo seemed to freeze, as he saw the tall figure standing in the corner. The scar on his forehead burned with pain. "No!" he shrieked, but then came a flash of green light...

[mormegil]

Frodo is now able to answer the questions that has plagued man, hobbit, elf, dwarf and orc alike. What do spider droppings look and feel like.

[The Elf-warrior]

Trudging through Shelob's Lair, Frodo had a disturbing thought. "Are there any IRS agents here?"

[The Only Real Estel]

Frodo did stuble upon an abomination in Cirith Ungol out of sheer necessity - one of those "portable restrooms" that are invariably messy beyond belief.

[Oddwen]

Nazgul narrator: And here we have a very rare, and very rarely seen "Holbytla", once thought to be hunted into extinction. What it is doing so far from its home has yet to be seen, perhaps it's some sort of migration. We've been following it for leagues and leagues....garn, Khamul! It saw you again! It'll go into a hole and we'll never find out what it's doing here!

[Boromir88]

On the wall Frodo spots a new pic!

http://www.theargonath.cc/pictures/legolasgandalf/legolasgandalf1.jpg

Legolas: You told me a harmless little bunny guarded the cave! You said nothing about a PO'ed bear with a laser beam on his head!
Gandalf: A mere over sight my lad.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Legolas points out to Gandalf that those pesky Hobbits have tied his beard to a rock again.

OR

Gandalf gives up on trying to point out to Legolas that those pesky hobbits have tied his hair to a rock again.

[Boromir88]

Gandalf gives up on trying to point out to Legolas that those pesky hobbits have tied his hair to a rock again.~Hookbill
:p

Legolas can't believe it when Gandalf says he's going to have to cut his hair to get him loose!

[Bêthberry]

Legolas: "Come on, really, come say hello. They aren't so scary once you get used to them."

Gandalf: "B..b...uuutt. I don't like fangirls."

[Oddwen]

Leggy: Here, let me help you down old man. *rips Gandy's arm off* AIIIIIIII!!

[Legate of Amon Lanc]

Legolas: Oh, look! Why is your beard moving so strange?
Gandalf: That's because the wind is blowing.

[The Elf-warrior]

Gandalf: "Don't worry, Legolas. I wasn't traumatized by losing half my beard in a freak barber accident, I'm upset that Butterbur forgot my Valinorian name."

[Hookbill the Goomba]

After Legolas asks for the four billionth time, "Are we there yet?" Gandalf is really tempted to pull the trap-door opening leaver.

[narfforc]

Legolas looks for the switch that makes the Gandalf figure say 'YOU SHALL NOT PASS'

[FeRaL sHaDoW]

Legolas trys to help Gandalf over come his fear of dwaves...

Legolas:come on Gandalf its only Gimli
Gandalf hides behind the rock

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Joker Legolas slyly sets Gandalf's hat on fire.

[Kitanna]

Gandalf is ready to face the army of Uruks, but Legolas can't look away from Gandalf's ear hair.

[THE Ka]

Legolas tries to help Gandalf through yet another uncloaking transformarion, but it is useless, the cloak has taken over his senses...

**************************

Gandalf: Oh great! The Crazy Caption Squad has found us again...

~ Ka

[The Sixth Wizard]

Gandalf: (muttering) ... warned them, but did they listen to me? Well it's always the same, I always tell them, oh it's just a harmless little bunny isn't it...

Legolas: G-Gandalf?

Gandalf: (awakes from stupor) Huh? What? Just a dream...

*OR WAS IT?*

[Mithalwen]

Old habits die hard and as a former patrol leader of the First Mirkwood Boy Scouts, Legolas was always on the look out for a chance to do his good deed of the day:

Gandalf :"But I don't want to cross the road..."

[The Only Real Estel]

As Gandalf begins to survey the battlefield, Legolas begins to pickpocket his wallet...

[shieldmaiden4xsword]

Leggy considers growing a beard.

[Gil-Galad]

Gandalf:did you get the license plate number of that oliphaunt?

[narfforc]

Legolas: Have you been at that Ent-brew again, I'm sure you're taller than when we set out.

[Thinlómien]

Legolas: Come, Gandalf, to see the new picture...

http://i69.photobucket.com/albums/i55/Thinlomien/pozegnalny20puchar20-20Galadriela20.jpg

Galadriel and Boromir fight over the Holy Grail.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

No one but the Dwarves really grasped the whole concept of a 'drinking game'.

OR

When 'Pass the Parcel' is just a little too easy...

[shieldmaiden4xsword]

Eowyn glared at Aragorn, furious that he did not consider her capable of drinking without smashing the cup on the ground.

[The Elf-warrior]

Eowyn wished that Aragorn would keep his hair out of his eyes.

[Oddwen]

Galadriel: Don't look now, but it seems as if someone has spilled tea on our background.
Aragorn: Why are our heads so flat?

[HerenIstarion]

Aragorn: Extraordinary! Absolutely extraordinary! My name came out of the Cup just now!
Galadriel: C’est impossible! What eez ze meaning of zis? Zair ‘as been a mistake, 'e cannot marry 'er. 'e eez too young, 'e eez only a little boy!
Aragorn: What do you mean, I'm only a little boy? I'm 88, and my name came out of a cup, so Arwen will marry me, not those other tossers whose names were in the cup too! And stop talking about me if I weren't present!

[Brinniel]

Aragorn: Oh c'mon, lemme have just a sip.

Galadriel: No! You have cooties!

OR

Aragorn gets in trouble for underage drinking.

Aragorn: What?! But I'm 88...

Galadriel: Yes, and the drinking age in Lothlorien is 101. Now, no more wine for you, little boy.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Eowyn: Maybe if I give him this cup he'll stop staring at my forehead.

[Lalwendë]

Somewhere in the mists of 1975 a Geography student sleeps deeply and dreams of casting Stevie Nicks and Steven Tyler in Lord of the Rings...

[The Might]

A medievally dressed Dave Grohl and Galadriel get high and see strange clours around as they drink some beer from a golden cup.

[Lalwendë]

At the Ambassador's Reception, Aragorn says: "Galadriel, with these Ferrero Rocher, you are really spoiling us..."

[Lachwen]

The only thing I can think of, as I look at this picture, is Jay from Dogma:

"What the F*CK happened to that guy's head??!"

I mean, look at Aragorn's head! He has no forehead! His skull is too small, there's no room for a brain in there!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Eowyn: Okay, maybe if we hold the cup like this, Théoden will not notice that we broke it...

[Lachwen]

Galadriel: We put a pellet with some poison in one of the vessels.
Aragorn: Which one?
Galadriel: The vessel with the figure of a pestle.
Aragorn: The vessel with the pestle?
Galadriel: Yes. But you don't WANT the vessel with the pestle, you want the chalice from the palace.
Aragorn: The chalice from the...wha?
Galadriel: It's a little crystal chalice with a figure of a palace.
Aragorn: So where's the pellet with the poison?
Galadriel: In the vessel with the pestle! Don't you see? The pellet with the poison's in the vessel with the pestle, the chalice from the palace has the brew that is true!
Éowyn: It's so easy even I can say it!
Aragorn: Well then YOU find it!
Galadriel: Listen carefully! The pellet with the poison's in the vessel with the pestle, the chalice from the palace has the brew that is true!
Aragorn: I've got it! I've got it... The pellet with the poison's in the vessel with the pestle, the chalice from the palace has the brew that is true!
Galadriel: That's right!
Aragorn: Hooray!
Galadriel: But there's been a change...
*beat*
Galadriel: They broke the chalice from the palace.
Aragorn: They BROKE the...?
Galadriel: And replaced it with a flagon, with a figure of a dragon.
Aragorn: The flagon with the dragon.
Galadriel: Yes.
Aragorn: But did you put the pellet with the poison in the vessel with the pestle?
Galadriel: No! I put the pellet with the poison in the flagon with the dragon, the vessel with the pestle has the brew that is true!

Sorry, I know it's long, but I couldn't help it...:D

[Hookbill the Goomba]

...
Aragorn: But did you put the pellet with the poison in the vessel with the pestle?
Galadriel: No! I put the pellet with the poison in the flagon with the dragon, the vessel with the pestle has the brew that is true!

Aragorn: ... I'm going home.

[Lalaith]

Galadriel (dangerously): No I have NOT had enough. Yes, I jolly well WILL have another drink. You promised YOU would drive tonight.

[Lachwen]

Galadriel: Aragorn, I've been around since the bleedin' First Age Of The Trees. I have had a LOT of tea. I know what actual, good tea tastes like. What you have given me is a cup of a liquid that is almost, but not quiet, entirely unlike tea.

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Galadriel did not at all suspect that Aragorn had poisioned her drink. . .With her being on his side and all.

[Diamond18]

Imagine these models as Merry, Pippin, Sam and Frodo:

(click to enlarge)
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v226/sarahlitarose/screenshot1-1.jpg (http://pics.livejournal.com/sarahlitarose/pic/0000qpc4)

[Legate of Amon Lanc]

Model #3: "Oh! But did not that old fella say that we shall not pass?"

OR
(using the names as Dia suggested it)

Merry: "I suspect you have taken more than your share, Sam, and I shall look into it at our next packing."

OR

A rare photo showing the original scene intended by PJ to be filmed as the Bruinen fords. Thankfully, PJ was outvoted and so he had to use the less harmful version of the scene, where Arwen was given a horse, the Nazgul were wearing black cloaks, and Frodo was not to be hidden inside the handbag.

[Folwren]

The widest [crack] was more than two feet across, and it was long before Pippin could summon enough courage to step over the dreadful gap. The noise of churning water came up from far below as if some great mill-wheel was turning in the depths.
"Rope!" muttered Sam. "I knew I'd want it, if I hadn't got it!"

[The Might]

Eeeh, I'm not crossing, I don't wan't to get my Orc leather shoes wet!

[Lalaith]

Pippin (in bobble-hat), bitterly: "What was it those wretched elves said? "..fair garments, and the web is good..woven in this land...."

Frodo (far right), furiously, through clenched teeth: "And don't forget how they promised we would find them a great aid in keeping out of the sight of unfriendly eyes, whether you walk among the stones or the trees. "

Merry (blond, far left): "Look guys, I'm sorry. I promise, I'll never ever suggest a trip to LorienMart again. "

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Merry: Did you see that? A watery tart threw a sword at Pippin!

[Kitanna]

Hobbits always go on quests and adventures in style!

[Oddwen]

Miruvor always caused the wierdest dreams...or did it?

Frodo: Sam, I've never told you this, but you look good as a girl.

Sam: Wha?

[Oddwen]

To Frodo's great joy the hobbits stirred, stretched their arms, rubbed their eyes, and then suddenly sprang up. They looked about in amazement, first at Frodo, and then at Tom standing large as life on the barrow-top above them; and then at themselves in their thin variable-colored rags, crowned and belted with knits, and jingling with purses.
'What in the name of wonder?' began Merry, feeling the bobbled woolen cap that had slipped over one eye. Then he stopped, and a shadow came over his face, and he closed his eyes. 'Of course, I remember!' he said. 'The photographers of the fashion catalogue came on us at night, and we were worsted. Ah! the heels of my shoes!' He clutched at his calves. 'No! No!' he said, opening his eyes. 'What am I saying? I have been dreaming. Where did you get to, Frodo?'
'I thought that I was lost,' said Frodo; 'but I don't want to speak of it. Let us think of what we are to do now! Let us go on!'
'Dressed up like this, sir?' said Sam. 'Where are my clothes?' He flung his cap, purse, and and jacket on the grass, and looked round helplessly, as if he expected to find his cloak, jacket, and breeches, and other hobbit-garments lying somewhere to hand.
'You won't find your clothes again,' said Tom, bounding down from the mound, and laughing as he danced round them in the sunlight.

[The Elf-warrior]

Pippin: "Our Samwise must gain some weight. It's not healthy for a girl of Miss Gamgee's age." OR

Sisterhood can overcome the intellectual pitfalls of a feminist interpretation of Lord of the Rings. OR

Merry: "If you push Sam into that brook, I'll do your hair to look like Legolas's."

[THE Ka]

Merry to themselves: Ugh, this line is worse than after labour day sale at the Gap of Rohan... Speed it up there Sam-Chanel, you too Frodo-Mossimo!

~ Fashion a form of ugliness that we must compel to change it every six months Ka

[Lalwendë]

Pippin: "When we play at make-believe, why do I always have to be Winona Ryder when you guys get to be Paris Hilton, Gwen Stefani and Lindsey Lohan? It's not fair, you all have better hair!"

[Mithalwen]

The real reason there were no women in the Fellowship:

The four "hobbits" Manolo, Laboutin, Emmahope, and Prada in unison.

"Walk to Mordor to throw away jewellery? In these shoes? I don't think so..."

[Hookbill the Goomba]

After an accident with one of Gandalf's fireworks lead to Frodo and Sam being joined at the fingers and Merry's experiments with his gender-change-o'matic 2000, things began to get a little weird in the Shire.

OR

The fact that the river wasn't there a moment ago has Merry and Pippin completely baffled.

[Valesse]

Too much Entdraught is a baaaad, bad thing.

[Legate of Amon Lanc]

"Nay! It's not one of them ruffians," Sam heard the farmer say. "It's a hobbit by the size of it, but all dressed up queer. Hey!" he cried. "Who are you, and what's all this to-do?"
"It's Sam, Sam Gamgee. I've come back."
Farmer Cotton came up close and stared at him in the twilight. "Well!" he exclaimed. "The voice is right, and your face is no worse than it was, Sam. But I should a' passed you in the street in that gear. You've been in foreign parts, seemingly. We feared you were dead."

[Farael]

Quickly! let's cross the river, I hear black riders are afraid of water.

And here's a new pic

http://culturekitchen.com/files/images/The-Lord-Of-The-Rings.jpg

While Barad-Dur falls, signaling Sauron's defeat, Gandalf, Merry and Pippin start a song they felt was very appropiate for the moment:

"Nananana.... nananana... HEY HEY HEY... good-bye!"